PHUNNYGRAFS WONDERFUL i Cure of Chronic Diseases ? Yminghusham! (humorously): “I wish I were single *’ Mr«. Y.: “Yon born I thing! What would you do?” “Get married to you, dairling.” “You dear man !’* ? i X "IIECELEBR ATED VITA I M-'dusue Co., 'fheonut Wn.li , I about their yieat success and how ■y cau aure you. Late one .Saturday night a sailor-look­ ing individual was seen striking matches and apparently looking f«»r something in the gutter. A crowd soon collected, «nd jiatiirtilly one of them asked the sailor What he had lost. **A quid,** replied the sailor, ami frr five minutes after nothing was heard but the striking of matches. After a fruitless search the Bailor rather startled the searchers by saying, as he moved off:— “Oh, it don’t inaltei much, anyhow— it was only a quid of tobacco.” Jobley: ‘Doinganything now, llobley?’ Mobley: “Writing for the Press.’* Jobley: “Stories or editorials?” Mobley: “Wrappers.” Uncle: “1 don’t know about lending you any more money. When I lent you money two months - go you said you only wanted it for a little while.” Nephew: “Well I di«ln*t keep it long.” Marry; “I don’t want you to wash my fare.” GiHudiiiamina: “Why, I’ve washed my face three limes a day, every day since 1 was a little gill ” Harry: Yes, and just see how i»s shrunk.” H c s It may interest you chil lien,” said a returned missionary, who was address­ ing a Sunday-school, “if I tell you of an adventure I once hud in India While going through a jungle I came fine to fa< e with a lion. There was no chance of retreat, and.I liad,noihing lo (Mend myself with, I stood perfectly still, and looked the tierce beast steadily in the eye.” “Which eye?” asked a breathless little hoy. T l’oitlmid Market Gentleman (just going, after having his haircut, to bather): “I haven’t met any barber like you for years.” B.uber: “Always try to do my best, WHEAT—Market, steady nominal at 70 sir.” Gentleman: “I’m referring to your 72c, Eastern Oregon; Valley, 73 to 74c originality. You me the only hailo 64, r-.<»O Milch a mount as is hercillilUer 1 eq Hired, taking hi* receipt therefor which receipt when pre neuted to the City recorder ol snid City »hall entitle the hoklei ihrivof to ajiccusf as therein provided. Hverybody Fays No. Rec. 3 The keeper* or proprietors of every Cnscarets < ’ami v Calhart ■<», the most won­ circu* shall pay f 25.o> f.»r e.n h mid evvi y exhi­ derful 111« ' di discovery of the age, pleas­ bition or perfot manee given within the limits ant and refreshing to the taste, aet gently of the «aid City. Every building, tent, space, and positively on kidneys, liver and bowels, or ar< a where feat* <»f ho; leinaashlp and acro­ cleansing the entire system, dispel colds, cure lieadnolie, lev« r, habitual constipation batic sport* me exhibited or m<*nigciics kept and biliousness. Please buy and try a box shall be regarded as a eiicus n.id.-r this ordin of C (' to-day; 10. 2o, Ml rents, bold and a ne'e. guaranteed to cure by ull druggist*. Theater* shill pty dally license of j soor a weekly Hceu»cof I; 5’. Every riitcttaiiimrnl consisting in whole or part «»1 dramatic «»roper ati«'represent da> 1. pvi f.n .»lance«, plays, con- ! 1ILLAMOOK. cetts. readings, lectures or other atuiiseneuls excepting lulls and phouogr a ph« siall be ilvem- e«l a tliea er within the 1:1 -ailing of this ordin mice. I’lmnog-aphi* shill p iy a d lily lieen*«* ol OOoents. K metascopes shall pay a daily license of fi .00. No license shall be re pitrv.I It >wewr of any TILLAMOOK, OREGON. entertainment rx'iihiiloa or show go t n np u holly by Ih Inliabi mils of tills Chy, 01 u hen haded ourse of nstructs 8having. Hair Cutting and al) Tousorial Work the puH’veds m isimi iti'in sueh entertainment Done iu the Latest Style of the Art. exhibition, or »h - ar<- to h.- applied to the HT At.PHONfiUS ACADEMY it divided i c four departments, vix. Fiimary, Iutenncdi...e i»eiiefit ot sir. rvli»aous chai liable, or uthr J i a ni tu Ar, aud Senior. public objects or purpose connected with the City of I tllamook. Shaving. 13 eta Razors Honed ¡'he Year ia divided luto four terms of elei er Sec 4. An,.' p‘rs»i, fl. a» c>i»;»my, o- car Hair Cutting 15 eta. On Short Notice «ceka each. |M>ratii>u vt tlallng any of the provi*' > is of th I* Tillamook Next Door to Post Office* t ordinance, upon conviction theieof s’.ia’.l be deemed guilty of a miMlemau.tr and shall be TUITION FEE- flue«l in a s-itu 11 »t less than f 10 .>» nor tnoie Tullloa Fee for one pupil tor a term of clever than fyo w and the «**» t of pro«ecutioii amt in »echo - In the rrimaiy Itepartmeut Two lr,p i In the tsTSKMKniars, Ta.il k llars default 01 the pay ment ili.-i rot shall be co limit t «1 to the < II) ail one «lay I t e;uh|i.oovf the :1 DEALER IN Oaaaa, Foe. Do Leans; S.sui fine. Iu any ease Iu wlrk-h th>s ordinance shall sads Firs ItoLLaas. be violated by a coiipmy. tir 11 ar «.'orpoiatkm each nd vi lust me i'» r thrr.of or a iv per-«m INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC act.it 4 u» am ng. r la it I 1 shall . e vqu.tdy liable Collections Receive Cireful and Uud r the p•! <1 ( ill VOCAL MUSIC a *««t>*eq 1 id p a liu.j a : .i.i t a > »l it. m a Vocal music, K ight D ollars . her or m tn uei of su *h firm. conqMiiy or cor paratmn f» tie aaat.' o leu «- thnt yon can drive with com­ fort and enjoyment. Our patrons will find every, thing in first class siiape and our prices reasonable. JONES BROS. | St Alphonsus T on ^ o ^ ial ACADEXIY C S I .» h ». G •••••••• ? I - ^oum;§imler, Prop. G. W. KIGER, iammah , a B usiness D epartment - In thcRusines Department, 9tenogt aphy, Book keeping, and Type-writing nwhtded, if dvoiud The common branches THiary-riva for the whole courae. Plain Sewing and Fancy Work free to th« pupils on Saturday aiteruooa. i.atlu, French and German included in the Senior Grade. Privatelaoaoina in those lan* triage»Fiva ollars a term. D oula *» D rarUcucar attautlon paid to Physical Traluli g »ud EH ¡uelta. Y« V TvbareoRpit sad Swvke m lift» Awaj. Tw quit lolMtccc easily aiwl forever be mog : «lie. full of lite, nerve and vigor, take No-To i»ae. the wr»n pet month. __________ ______ _ ti>so • month. K>«h Hoard sod Tullio. Urttafii wc«ka payablea«Rauc< Lr TRAbt MARKS« DISICN9, CORYRICMTS Sr. - , -— a akrti h a..4 de^riipci.-n mar AUK*«ly aM^rtai’L trve. whether an Invention 19 prvhahtv puto* tahle. (VnunantralK na atrWUy cmf.tentiaL OM wrmn for»eennn« patent« - We r"T*‘ • "•*>’lnut'® 'UBee. wKS,£.£tt.!£~-* ~ SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN. •1. « mi n*oiitha. n n»pir>a and LL aad L uua vn i atkxtx aaat frvw. A.idrwaa MUNN A CO., 3S1 Broadwa«. New lark. >3 O’«“« à«»*’;»' Kont si® -, J EDITED BY - EcsuKnlli TiMaa. Established i863. The only Magazine on the Pacific Coast. It3 literary matter represents the best thoughts of such writers as Hjalmar Hjorth Bovese i, Charles Warren Stod- dard, Edita 31. Thomas, Joaquin Miller. Its illustrations show in the best style the glories of the Pacific Coast. It is a pictorial history of the Great West. It covers the whole basin of the Pacific, including China, Japan, and Corea. You want it, so does your family. One Sample Copy, 10c. Single Numbers, a5c. Yearly Subscription, $3.00. Overland Monthly Pub. Co. hu attack of fever, was a great sufferer êan from pain in the ha< k and hips,’’writes Louden Grover, of Sardis, Ky. “After using quite a number of remedies with­ out any benefit she tried one hottie of Chamberlain's Pain Bahn, and it has given enthe relief.” Cha.a bei Iain’s Pain Bahn is al>o a certain cure for ibeu alimi. Sold by S.J. Stuigeon. OiOotei And am now prepared ¡¡to tran­ sact all business usually connected with such offices. I expect to make a specialty of the sale ofTillameok County >airy Lands and for that purpose will advertise extensively in eastern papers. If you have any land, fbr sale now is the time to bring it in and list it. If you want to buy or trade for real estate, if you have property you desire attented to in your ab­ sence, or any other business in the real estate line yen are respect­ fully invited to come and see me D. DeK. Bowman, ■> Tillamook, Ore. I C. A. BAILEY i ------ Dealer in------- STUDEBAKER WAGONS, Osborne Mowers Buggies, liny rakes, plows and other farm machinery. You can save money by dealing with me. Special Prices on Buggies and Spring wagons. F rancisco , O au fODSlimpliOD a A AND ITS ^CURB To the E ditor 1 have an absolute remedy for Consumption. By its timely use thousands of hopeless cases have been already permanently cured. So proof-positive am I of its power that I consider it my duty to send two bottles free to those of your readers who have Consumption,Throat, Bronchial or Lung Trouble, if they will write me tlie'.r express and postoffice address. Sincerely, I. A SLOCUM, M. C., 183 Pearl St., Sew York. Ujy- The Editorial and BusineBS Management of this Paper Guarantee thia generous Proposition.__ This Is Your Opportunity. On receipt of ten cents, cash or stamps, a generous sample will be mailed of the most popular Catarrh and Hay Fever Curo (Ely’s Cream Balm) sufficient to demon­ strate the great merits of the remedy. ELY BROTHERS, 56 Warren St., New York City. Rev. John Reid, Jr., of Great Falls, Mont., recommended Ely’ - Cream Balm to me. I can emphasize his statement, “It is a posi- tive cure for catarrh if used as directed.”— Rev. Francis W. Poole, Pastor Central Pres. Church, Helena, Mont. Ely’s Cream Balm is the acknowledged cure for catarrh and contains no mercury nor any injurious drug. Price, 50 cents. If Von Want 1 •••••• ii!E ï.'j;’0E?g Or ßEtlCE U Inltoiu.cd aid ci I is: tn- at its oebxk P. M De* .list Read »wood time at S v> o’clock P I. D 1st n.) lira.I ihiid lime at N |o u caK'k I'. M lkv ,ust. tv#;. decl«re’ Attest- by C N Drew, K. . 1 er iu am! for Tillamook C Ity Approved Jsunm v 3 IS0, H L. K kiy. “My daughter, when recovering from town lotior timber claim or any jtlier’iuiproved or unimproved real estate? If so you want to put it into the Lands of some on# wh® will ad­ vertise anti try to sell it, I have just opened iu this city a thorough­ ly equipped C. A. BAILEY, Tillamook, Ore. All Postmasters are authorized to take subscriptions. D aiç . oi $ Exchange and NJoney jJscui’itieg. D HOW TO FIJID OUT. M rs . R. R. H ays Hiving a system of mn-lioMiea found- I rxi great dincoveriee of eminent ientiats, detiumstmling the »114 that eqr disease has ail antidote and that if >lr specifics are used according to di- tions they newly always cure. Hieir remedies have completely • tored to health so many thousands of iffering humanity, Hiey absolutely . - arantek a cure in all cases—such as lorphine and Opium Ibrfiits, Di unken- icss and Tobacco Habit, Liver Diseases, lanndice. Salt Rheum, Yellow Blotches, I’imples, Gastralgaa, Gastric Debility of the Stomach, Dyspepsia, Chronic Con- slip itioii; Kidney Diseases—such as Bright’s Disease. Congestive 0 Blood Troubles. Dropsical Swellings, Oystal- ites, Dirbetis, Chronic Rheumatism— no matter how long standing, Neumlgin, Gout, Asthma, Bronchitis, LaGrippe, Indigestion, Catarrh in aH forms Hay Fever, Diseases depending on the brain, Vertigo, Debilitating Losses, Impotency, Nervous Prostration, Paralysis, I’ain in the B ick, Weakness of the Ltnibs, In- s minis, Lassitude, Piles in all forms, Colds and Croups, Blood Diseases of every kind and nature, including Scrof­ ula, Hip Disease, White Swelling, Fever Sores. Curvature of fire Spine, Riclsets, Skin Diseases, Clrrouic Diarriioea, Head­ ache, &c. All Female Complaints the Female Regulating Tablets and Vaginal Cones always do their work safely and sorely when used as directed. Simply write the' company iu strict confi­ dence, discribing disease and they will send you free directions as to what rem- Aly to use, or if you enclose W they will send you a month’s treatment adapted to your particular case, and they will guarantee a cure if their directions are followed. . v These remedies are nearly aM in tablet form, easy to take and contain no alco- I lari to injure the system. Address VITA MEDICINE COMPANY, Tacoma, I Washington. Lung Troubles ani Crsnmptiai Can be Cirri. Qnieklr «-ure-l. OUH FEE DUE WHEN PATENT OBTAINED. Send m-idel, sketch or photo, with •t.-n. rij-t: 11 for Eee reportR9to patentability. 48-PAGE HAND-BOOK FREE. Contains referenees an 1 full information. WRITE FOR COPY OF OHR SPECIAL OFFER. It is the most liberal proposition ever ma>io hy a pat. nt atUmey, and EVERY INVENTOR SHOULD READ IT before applying for patent. Address ; H.B.WILLS0N4C0. PATENT LAWYERS, L. Droit Bldg, WASHINGTON. □. C. tn Emlnennt New Y r k Cheir ist and sdentisi Makes a Free O’Ter to our Readers Boots and SHOES th at will rip, tear, run down at the heel and torment you continually Get them ready made. But if you want an article that will give you solid comfort, plenty of wear and never get out of shape then patronize BROWN the Shoemaker The distin-ruDhe t New York chemist, 411 try Tut e c ilos. ) ai.d I’, bronchial, throat i.-igaii't cbrwt diseases stubborn roughs, lune <■irnt-.fie T e.tlnient” has c >'i««m’- yerinaiftut’* by i a timely uae, > •* .1 a simple profe-tMoiial duty ¡vi. ;‘m Ill’ uity to «tovate u it ial of his Repaiaingjlone rs cheap as anywhere. Come aud be conviuced. I.I Lightest, Busiest Working, Safest, Simplest, Strongest, r « ui • Scie . t r ' ex|x; hne.ili at :■ « i-nklucvo a*» hrne . ctllo hu » iuit> a-cm beetain.ed by any nte \*r:>geutu* ix .«s« lion ll at lung ttoiildCM and cun«ir.n’t i t •-curable iu aiiv c'hnaie is proven b. O-. t!« rat dexpre« •ddroea »nd the free n ■ « 11 be promut'\ tent. Sufferers «lio il.I take Instant advantage of his generous propoaitton. P ease t«ll the Lkjctor that yon saw his otfet ta the Meadlteht - Most Accurate, T T" ..- jr » Receiver. 'M- Compact, Most Modern ano prr.g ressi va THE For catalogue or Ir.torn arlon write to M unson T yp e w r i t e r H New Haven. Conn. F - reï«nr’ M ‘«’.’’•re.T.xv .nd muthal ka