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About The independent. (Vernonia, Or.) 1986-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 6, 2008)
Page 8 The INDEPENDENT, November 6, 2008 When are the demands of an aging parent too much to handle? by the American Counseling Association Improvements in health care and lifestyles have resulted in more of us living longer lives. Many families now have one or more parents in their 70s, 80s or older, parents who can com- plicate their grown children’s lives with care and help de- mands. It can be a difficult situation. While we may feel a strong sense of responsibility to an elderly parent, we also have very real obligations to our spouse and children. Balancing what we can do for an aging parent with our family’s and own needs can be difficult. One important consideration is how real an elderly parent’s needs may be. Health issues certainly can bring demands that we want and need to meet. But there are also elderly parents who are simply de- manding, insisting that their adult children “owe” them and HIV services available in county Confidential HIV counsel- ing, testing and referral is available by appointment from Columbia County Public Heath at 2370 Gable Road in St. He- lens. Mary Altenhein, R.N., man- ages the HIV program, which is funded through a grant from the Oregon Department of Hu- man Services. Altenhein, a longtime resident of Columbia County, is also program man- ager for WIC and Immuniza- tions. HIV testing is offered by ap- pointment on Wednesdays, by calling 503-397-4651, ext. 203. Bilingual services are available and appointments on Tues- days and Thursdays may be available by request. Appointments are also available after hours at the monthly late clinic, generally on the last Wednesday of the month, until 7:00 p.m. The next late clinic will be on Tuesday, November 25, due to Thanks- giving. The HIV program had not received local funding since 2006, so those needing testing had been referred outside of Columbia County until now. who present never-ending lists of needs, many of them unim- portant. Giving in to such demands out of guilt often leaves a per- son feeling angry and frustrat- ed, and can create the same anger and frustration in his or her spouse and children. Such resentment is natural when the demands are overwhelming and coming at the expense of the immediate family. In such cases, it’s necessary to look for alternatives to ease the stress, tension and overall burden the elderly parent is placing on the family. For ex- ample: • Are there siblings who can help? Even when geographical- ly separated, your siblings may find various, often surprising, ways to contribute and ease your burden if asked. • Are there neighbors or friends of your aging parent willing, perhaps eager, to help? • Have you checked with lo- cal social agencies, such as the Council on Aging, to find what options or assistance may be available? Many areas also of- fer free or low cost Elder Day Care programs that can pro- vide daily assistance. • Can you manage your time better to make room for both an aging parent and your own life and family? Setting a schedule to visit and help, rather than be- ing constantly “on-call,” often makes things easier. • Set priorities and stick to them. While it can be difficult to just say “no,” it’s often helpful to separate what’s absolutely nec- essary for a parent’s well being (doctor visits) from things that really can wait (gardening). When you let an aging par- ent overextend you, everyone involved ends up suffering the consequences. While we all want to help someone who loved and nurtured us, it’s also essential to understand our own limits, reasonably and re- alistically. NAMI schedules Col. Co. meetings Presentation on Columbia County NAMI (Na- how to understand their men- diabetes is free tional Alliance on Mental Ill- ness) will hold meetings at Co- lumbia Community Mental Health, 58846 McNulty Way, St. Helens. Meetings will be held the first Tuesday of each month from 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. Columbia County NAMI plans to have a Family to Fam- ily program to teach families tally ill family members. In addi- tion, there will be a Peer to Peer program and a NAMI Walk to raise awareness. For more information, con- tact Dale C. Chambers at 503- 396-5208, email him at cham bersdale@yahoo.com or go to www.nami.org/oregon. A free informational presen- tation on diabetes will be held at the Vernonia Senior Center on November 10, at 10:00 a.m. This is an excellent opportu- nity to learn more about dia- betes for yourself or someone else. Free flu shots will be available at Washington County Fairgrounds Free flu shots and nasal spray flu vaccine will be offered on a first-come, first-served ba- sis by Washington County De- partment of Health and Human Services at a flu clinic on Wednesday, November 12, 2008, from 2:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. at the Main Exhibit Build- ing of Washington County Fair- grounds in Hillsboro (873 NE 34th Ave.), across from the Hillsboro Airport. “Flu season will start soon in VERNONIA INN Enjoy a quiet weekend with us. FULL SIZE, IN ROOM HOT TUBS Queen Beds • Private Bath • Separate Entrance Cable TV • Phones • Handicapped Access • Commercial Rates FOR RESERVATIONS CALL 1-800-354-9494 / 503-429-4006 Gift Certificates Available 900 MADISON AVE., VERNONIA, OR 97064 Just one block off scenic Nehalem River Hwy. (Oregon 47) Oregon and we can be ready for it by getting a flu shot,” said Gregg Russell, Immunization Coordinator for Washington County. “Getting a flu shot (or the nasal spray vaccine) now, will help you protect your fami- lies, your co-workers and your- selves,” he added. He notes that the flu kills 36,000 each year in the U.S. “People can start to get sick but not yet have symptoms and still spread the virus to others,” said Russell. “If you’re vaccinated, the chances of that happening are very small." Different strains of flu virus circulate in the world’s popula- tion and they change every year, so every year a new vac- cine is formulated, according to Rod Branyan, Director of Washington County Depart- ment of Health and Human Services. That’s why getting a flu shot every year is important. At the November 12 clinic, you can get a traditional flu shot (available for ages six months all the way through senior citi- zens) or a nasal spray vaccine called FluMist (from two to 49 years-old, healthy and not pregnant). Both flu shots and FluMist train your body’s im- mune system to recognize the flu virus so that, if you’re ex- posed, your body will kill off the flu virus. Flu vaccine is typically 70–90 percent effective, ac- cording to Russell. A total of 1,200 doses will be available at the clinic, which will be staffed by personnel from Washington County Depart- ment of Health and Human Services, the Medical Reserve Corps and student nurses from OHSU. 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