P a g e 1 6 T h e lN D E P E N D E N T , November 21, 2001
latters to the Editor
From page 2
In the last ten years or so,
there has been a sad confusion
of terms and the psychological
ideas from which they have
arisen. Healthy shame, for ex
ample, and pathological - sick -
shame, are not the same thing
at all. The function of healthy
shame is a part of our con
science, what Joyce called “the
agenbite of inwit” or nipping of
our inner wisdom, the still small
voice. It is, in part, educated
into us by the family and the so
ciety to which we belong, which
recognizes certain rules of be
haviour and makes infractions
payable
through
co n se
quences. Pathological shame
is no longer about what we
have done, but rather has twist
ed conscience to believe that it
is who we are that is unaccept
able. This has stretched to in
clude the idea of “embarrass
ment" as some sort of abuse.
Em barrassm ent is what we
have all felt on a new job, in a
new place or trying something
w e’ve never done before. It is a
sign that we are stretching our
boundaries or in other terms,
we are learning. As I tell my
students again and again:
There's nothing wrong with
mistakes! On the contrary, if
you aren’t making mistakes,
you aren’t learning.
These distortions have cre
ated a victim culture in this
country which can only sink us
further into the abyss of petti
ness, spite and lawsuits, which,
to my mind, look exactly like
“ I’m gonna tell my Mommy on
you! And you’ll see then!” A pat
tern which continues to avoid
responsibility until there is no
one left on whom we can blame
our failures.
What happens when these
“sensitive” children go out into
the real world? Into the military
(God forbid!), or into the strug
gles of the everyday life we all
know? I can give you one an
swer. They are the millions of
workers who arrive late, take
extended breaks, “forget” a few
numbers in the important data
they are taking down, and even
crash their cars into those of in
nocent people and then an
swer, “Whaateverr.” Again and
again, these spoiled children
abdicate their responsibilities
and cause innumerable mis
takes, delays and even disas
ters. If they haven’t been taught
to care early on, to carry their
minds a little further into the fu
ture and to see the conse
quences of what they do, they
may answer as did one of my
students when I asked him
what he wanted to do “when he
grows up” (gets out of high
school). “ I want to win the Lot
tery,” said Jimmy.
Forgive me for going on to
such lengths. I didn’t intend to
write so much, but the passion
I have brought to this letter is a
glimpse of the passion I bring to
learning, to teaching and to
everything I do.
Carol Sawyer
(temporarily advanced-
placement Spanish teacher
Vernonia High School
P.S. Let me clarify that an
“expatriate” is not an “ex-patri
ot.” On the contrary, from the
Latin “ex” for “outside” and “pa-
tria” for “country” , the average
expatriate, an American living,
or as in my own case, and that
of several generation of my an
cestors, perhaps even born
and bred on foreign soil, may
have the deepest and most pa
triotic of American roots.
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