Page 16
Tha INDEPENDENT, December 21,1964
It’s time for a seasonal, if rueful, laugh
At this time of year, it seems appropriate to enjoy a
good laugh. This piece, entitled Letter to a Well
Known Insurance Company, will provide that laugh.
Our thanks to Vernonia City Administrator Mike
McAlvage for passing on this gem from the League
of Oregon Cities Newsletter. Ed.
Sirs:
I am writing to answer your request for ad
ditional information about my recent accident.
In block number 3 of the accident report form,
I put “trying to do the job atone” as the cause
of the accident. You said in your letter that I
should explain more fully; so I trust that the
following will suffice.
I am a municipal employee by trade. On the
day of the accident, I was working alone hang
ing Christmas decorations from the City water
tower. At the end of the day I found that one of
the Santa Claus decorations for the tower
would not be able to be used on the tower as
anticipated. Instead of trying to carry it down
the 130 ft. ladder by hand, I decided to tower
him on a rope attached to a pulley which, for
tunately, was attached to the catwalk of the
water tower.
Securing the rope at the ground level, I as
cended the 130 ft. ladder to the tower catwalk,
swung the Santa Claus figure out and then
descended back to the ground. At ground lev
el I untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure
a stow descent of the welded steel 12 ft. X 20
ft. Santa Claus figure that weighs about 250
pounds. You will note in block number 11 that I
weigh only 165 pounds.
Due to my extreme surprise at being pulled
from the ground so suddenly, I tost my pres
ence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded up the side of
the tower at a rapid rate. At about 65 ft. above
ground level I met Santa Claus on his way
down. This explains the fractured skull and
collar bone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid
ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my
right hand were two knuckles deep into the
pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had regained
my presence of mind and was able to hold
tight to the rope in spite of my pain.
At approximately the same time, however,
the Santa Claus figure hit the ground, with the
welded steel 12 ft. X 20 ft. Santa Claus figure
breaking apart and, upon breaking apart, San
ta weighed only about 50 pounds. I refer again
to my weight in block 11. As you might imag
ine, I began a rapid descent down the side of
the water tower.
At about 65 ft. above the ground, I met a
much smaller Santa on his way up. This ac
counts for the fractured ankles and the lacera
tions of my legs and lower body. The en
counter with the smaller Santa slowed me
enough to reduce the level of injury when I fell
into the pile of twisted steel that was all part of
the original larger-than-life sized Santa and,
fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay
there in the twisted steel, in pain, unable to
stand, and watching the smaller Santa swing
at 130 ft. above me, I again tost mental control
and released the rope. The smaller Santa,
weighing more than the rope, descended
quickly and broke both of my legs.
The questions about the continuing psychi
atric therapy that I am receiving as a result of
this injury stem from the nightmares that I
have endured since my accident. These night
mares about Santa Claus, as an attempted
murderer, have forever changed my belief in
Santa. My therapist has mentioned that there
may be some hope for recovery; however,
now at Christmas time when I hear “Here
Comes Santa Claus” it usually ends in a po
lice call and a visit to our local mental health
facility for doses of tranquilizers.
Sincerely,
Not only for Christmas
...but for all the year
through, the joy that you
give to others is the joy
that comes back to you.
Sam & Alvilda
Hearing
V CASINO NIGHT 4
NEW YEAR'S EVE
9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
AUCTION
January 1st at 6 p.m.
We thank you for your patronage
in 1994 and wish you a very
Merry Christmas
and Happy New Year
Source Unknown
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a ¿¿fesseci
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