Pag» 2 The INDEPENDENT, June 24,1992
The
INDEPENDENT
Serving the upper Nehalem River valley. Published
m onthly on the last W ednesday of each month, by
Public Opinion Laboratory Ltd., 1206 State Avenue,
Vernonia, OR 97064, as a free newspaper. All material
protected under U.S. Copyright laws. Editors and
Publishers, Dirk & Nonl Andersen, (503) 429-9410.
Political satire still
passes test of time
Gripes and complaints about politics and politicians
are nothing new, and the middle of an election year
seems like an appropriate time to acquaint or re-ac-
quaint ourselves with the somewhat iconoclastic opin
ions of "Mr. Dooley,” an early 20th century Irish-Amer
ican created by Finley Peter Dunne.
On party politics:
"The dimmycratic party ain’t on speakin’ terms with
itsilf.
"The raypublican party broke ye, but now that ye’re
down we’ll not turn a cold shoulder to ye. Come in an’
we'll keep ye— broke.”
On elections:
"A vote on the tally-sheet is worth two in the box."
On the Supreme Court:
"No matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag
or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns."
On the Vice-presidency:
"The prisidincy is th' highest office in th' gift iv th'
people. The vice-prisidincy is the next high est an'
the lowest. It isn't a crime exactly. Ye can't be sint to
jail f r it, but it’s a kind iv a disgrace. It's like writin'
anonymous letters....
"It is his jooty to rigorously enforce the rules iv th'
Sinit. There ar-re none. Th' Sinit is ruled by courtesy,
like th' longshoreman's union."
On reformers:
"A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a
year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men
can be tu-rrned into angels be an iliction is called a
rayformer an' remains at large....
"A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was
a rayformer, whin th’ thruth iv th' matther is he was il
icted because no wan knew him. Ye can always ilict a
man in this counthry on that platform. If I was runnin'
f’r office, I'd change me name, an' have printed on me
cards: 'Give him a chanst; he can’t be worse.'"
On fanatics:
"A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks th'
Lord wud do if He knew th’ facts iv th' case."
On Diplomacy & Politics:
"Unforchunitly diplomacy on'y goes as far as the
dure. It is onable to give protection to th' customer,
so whin he leaves the shop th' sthrong arm men iv
the Sinit knocks him down an’ takes fr'm him ivrything
he got inside an' more too. Di-plomacy has become
a philanthropic pursoot like shop-keepin', but politics,
me lords, is still th' same ol' spoort iv highway rob-
b’ry."
Another, even earlier, political satirist was Charles
Farrar Browne ("Artemus Ward"). In The Crisis, he
noted," My pollertics, like my religion, [is of] an ex
ceedin' accommodatin’ character."
He may have summed up the whole situation in the
Fourth of July Celebration when Artemus Ward de
clared, "I am not a politician, and my other habits are
good."
By Nancy Burch
City Librarian
On Wednesday, June 17, youthful summer
readers "Blasted off to Summer Reading", by
making a variety of paper airplanes, origami
stars and spinning pinwheels after hearing a
story about Alistair, who was whisked off Into
space by aliens, as he was on his way to return
his library books. If that sounds like fun,
encourage your children to participate in the
library's summer reading program each Wed
nesday at 1:00, for such activities as creating
sidewalk art, taking a nature walk, making outer
space attire, taking a trip to OMSI and creating
and riding on a float in the Jamboree parade.
With the start of our summer reading program,
we are reminded that our local library has been
and continues to be the recipient of significant
support from so many. Without the mothers,
grandmothers, teachers, and friends of the
children of the community to help in planning
and assisting with this program, it would not be
in existence, and this source of encourage
ment for reading and learning would not be
available locally.
Another local supporter, the very first, is the
Vernonia Study Club. This group of ladies
petitioned the city council in 1925 to appoint
the first five-member library board and to
establish the library in the city hall. Through
the years, this group organized many fund
raising projects and established a building
fund for a new library. Although no new library
was ever built, money raised by the Study Club
has been used for remodeling projects and
shelving. This organization continues to
support the library by donating books in
memory of local citizens, especially former
members of the group or their relatives. The
library contains books donated by the Study
Club in memory of Mathilde Bergerson, Amy
Kamholz, Evelyn Heath, Ralph Reynolds,
Mildred Tupper Evans and other form er
residents.
The Study Club continues to
support library projects, such as the summer
reading program.
There have been and continue to be many
other local supporters of the library and its
programs. Recently, a memorial in Martha
Smith’s name was established by her friends
and family. The Lions’ Club has donated a
section of books containing information about
diabetes. Last summer this organization built
and donated two new bookshelves. They
have given monetary donations regularly and
have just announced that they w ill be
providing the library with a rack to display the
growing video collection.
So many people are important to the success
of the library and its programs that they cannot
all be named individually, but they are all
invaluable to providing quality library service to
the residents of Vernonia. Thanks to all of
you!
We can save water now, or we can
ration water later, the choice is ours
The current hot spell won't last for
ever; with luck it w on't even last
through the week, but it appears that
an exceedingly dry summer is at hand,
which could create some severe prob
lems.
The City of Vernonia relies on sur
face water from Rock Creek, while
most of the rural areas rely on wells.
In past years, many rural residents
have come in to town for drinking wa
ter when their wells dried up in late
summer or early fall. This year, even
more wells are likely to go dry and the
water level in Rock Creek could be
come critical.
The city water plant is holding its
own right now, but it's running continu
ously in order to keep up with the de
mand. We can't afford to wait until
there is a crisis, now is the time to
learn to use water wisely.
Water-wise tips:
• During hot weather, don't water
outdoors between sunrise and sunset,
especially with a sprinkler, except in
areas that will remain shady until the
water is absorbed.
• Use a soaker-type hose or a drip
irrigation system in vegetable and
flower beds. This reduces spray that
evaporates quickly and, at the same
time, puts the water at the roots of
your plants where it's needed.
• When using a sprinkler, be sure it
covers only the area that needs water.
It's a waste to water sidewalks, streets
and driveways.
• Do more watering by hand, espe
cially plants in pots or other contain
ers. By using a water soluble fertilizer
mixed with water in a bucket, you can
fertilize your plants at the same time
you water them and put both the water
and the fertilizer only where you want
them.
• Don't water hardy, w ell-estab
lished plants that can handle some
stress. They won’t look as good, but if
drought won't kill them, don’t water
them.
• Wash only full loads in clothes or
dish washers. Even machines that
have multiple water-level settings will
use less water per item with a full
load.
• When washing dishes by hand,
don't leave water running.
• Use a water-saver shower head.
They are not expensive and they're
easy to install.
• Take a shower instead of a bath.
Studies show that showers use less
water than baths. Put a non-electric
timer in operation for water hogs.
• Reduce the amount of water used
by your toilet with a water-saving style,
by displacing some of the water with a
water-filled plastic container, or by
bending the float arm enough to turn
off the water flow a few inches lower in
the tank.
• Don’t let faucets drip! If they need
new washers install them; if they need
to be replaced, do so.
• Last, but not least.. . Perhaps it's
time to cultivate a new look in vehi
cles. This summer, we may decide
our cars and trucks look best without a
shiny finish... without a wash job!
Letters to the Editor are on page 12