Image provided by: Klamath County Museums; Klamath Falls, OR
About Klamath republican. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1896-1914 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 5, 1901)
w ? A Quutioa of Aga. Freddy—And can you rqglly and truly remember Abraliain Lincoln? Grandpa— Why, yes, of course. You ue, I’m a great deal older than you are. Freddy—Ray, grandpa, how old will 1 have to be before I can remem ber him? A Marculine Lady's Maid. A Bostonian while exploring til« files of a paper printed in his town a century ago caine across this rattier startling advertisement: ”H. Kogers informs those ladies who wish to be dressed by him, either on assembly or ball days, to give him notice the previous day. Ladies who engage to and don't dress must pay half price.” Whzn th« Proportion It Right. "But true love, you kaow, ” urge«! the young man, "can live on bread and cheese and kisses.” "That may be true when the pro- portion is right,” returned the prac- tical old gentleman, “but, unfortu- nately, in your case, it is about nine- tenths kisses, ”—Chicago Tast. 0 ■ F«rm<nentlT Cur*d. No ftta er nerrouane« «tlUr firM igfiMge.if l>r KliBr aNerT< tMd for FK BK ».•• trial U k U mm »« i trra4- to». DB.R-U Kl.iNB.Ud Ml ArchSL. PhUa*tel»luA.P» A Mere Formality. Haddon Erve—I waal to marry your daughter, sir. Mr. Goldrox—H’m! What are your prospects? Haddon Erve—Fine. She’s willing, so it doesn’t much matter what any one elae says.—Philadelphia Press. Claiming tier Privileges. "I want it understood, mum,” said Bridget before signing with her new mistress, “that I shall have me reg'lar afternoons off during the hot weather without prejudyce to me va cation of wan week in October, mum" —Chicago Tribune. Well Received. Simpson—We went out last night to serenade the Perkins girls. Hopkins—Did it go off all right. Simpson—Their father threw half a dollar down to us and said please play till daylight—maybe it would help him to get some sleep.—Chicago Record-Herald. • ’ ________________ Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth ing Syrup the best remedy to use tor their children during the teething period. Robber*. “Henry! Henry!" whispered the wife of the good citizen, “there’s a robber in the house. ” “Lot's of them," replied Henry, "in the house and senate, too, but they ain’t a circumstance to those in the city councils."—Philadelphia Press. 'b—— —.... . ... .. Each Anxious to Try. “Fame,” said the man with the oelancholy eye, “is but au empty bubble.” "Yes,” answered the friend with long hair "But every man bas the idea that if he could get hold of it he could turn it intoadirigible balloon." —Washington Star Nobles« Oblige. "What are you staring at, Nellie?" "Ob, please, ma’am, with your hair like that and your diamonds you do look so like Lady Plantagenet Ging ham that I was own maid to! Are you any relation, ma’am?” "No—at least no near relation. But you can Jiave that pink silk shirt waist of mine, Nellie." I do not be lie ve Piaos Cure for Con- aumption bas an equal for coughs and rolda,—J obs F Horas. Trinity tí pringa, lud , Feb. 15. 1900. Hard Reputation. "You are wanted in a hurry at Mr. Gazzam’s!" cried the youngster, breathlessly. “Are you sure they sent for me?" asked young Dr. Killiam. "Yes; they said you could not do any harm, as Mr. Gazzam’s dying now.”—Philadelphia Press. Bishop Philpotts. of Exeter, ouce went to stay with a friend In Devon shire. “It's a beautiful place, la It not?** remarked somebody upou his return. "Yes.*' said the Bishop. 'It la a beauti ful place; If It were mine, I would pull down the bouse and fill up the poud with It. That would remove two ob jections'* Attorney Isldor Rayner, one of Rear- Admiral Schley's counsel iu the court of Inquiry, was ouce interrupted by Thomas B. Reed, while making a speech iu favor of a reduction of tbs tariff, with the remark: “Did not the gentlemau hear my speech Saturday?" “No," replied Rayner, "I was at borne preparing a speech of my own.” It is related that Fecbter was more than once the victim of an outspokeu London gallery god. Ou one occasion, Iu a melodrama, the tragedtau was slowly paylug over a sum of money to the villain. Everything depended upou whether he had sufficient money for bls purpose, and the paying out was moat deliberate—so deliberate. Indeed, that a member of the audience, wearylug of the scene, eullvened the proceedings by yelling. "Say. Mr. Fecbter, give him a check.” Once, when the Secretary of War, Ellbu Root, had approved a punishment of au offender in the Philippines with a severity which seemed somewhat dis proportionate to the crime, a visitor ventured to ask him Whether he did not consider such a penalty a good deal like the old law of England which hanged a mau for stealing a sheep. “Certainly," was the answer, “and we Impose it In the same spirit, not as au expiatory sacrifice, but as a preventive. The thief was banged, uot because a stolen sheep was regarded as worth a human life, but In order that more sheep should not be stolen." When President Roosevelt was a po lice commissioner of New York, In 1895. Dr. Ablwardt, the anti-Semitic agitator from Berlin, visited the me tropolis. Not a few of the New York anti-Semites came to Roosevelt In alarm lest the Jews should rise and mob the orator on the night of bls first address. The commissioner's response was to select from the whole police force a squad of Hebrews whose physi ognomy bespoke their race most con spicuously; these officers be placed In charge of the ball where Ahlwardt was to appear, with a reminder that in this country of free speech they could show their good citizenship in no more strik ing manner than by protecting the very man who bad come to burl contempt and abuse at their people. The effect of this bit of comedy was to make Abl wardt ridiculous, and cause bls whole crusade to fall pitifully flat. A wealthy American who took the waters at Carlsbad this summer was given minute Instructions by his phy sician, who dismissed him with this in junction: “As for smoking, you must limit yourself to three cigars daily; three light cigars and no more.” After a few days, the patient visited his phy sician, who asked: “Well, and how are you?” "I should be all right." replied the patient, “but your orders about smoking are difficult to follow.” “I am sorry,” the doctor said, categorically, “but no more than three cigars a day. You must just put up with it” “But doctor, it really is an awful business. Wouldn't two a day do? I feel 111 every time I smoke." “Why, man, what in the world do you smoke for at all. If that is the case?” the doctor roared. "BOf doctor, wasn’t It you yourself who said ‘three cigars a day and no ntereT Of course, I thought they were part of the cure, and began upon them, though I never in my life smoked be- iore?*. _____________________ It was se christened.’ Just So. Elmer (who has an inquiring "ana, what is firmness? The exercise of t F ree p T obacco T ags FROM NOV. 3 0 th z 19O2.A a STAR” / fl 4«r $ MASTER WORKMAN HORSESHOE’ .• A twenty miles from any town. If of his house hangs In Chester- County. South Carolina, and the other In the Tar Heel State. The State of North Carolina requires a license to be obtained for marriages. In South Carolina there is no such re struction. Because of bls location Bailes bas found that fees for marriages consti tute a large part of bls Income. North Carolina couples who are un able or unwilling to pay for a license, or who are in an especial hurry, are Invited into the South Carolina side of the house and there the service la per formed. Everything went smoothly until a v days ago. In the absence of the •lstrate a young couple drove bastl- ■tnd demanded marriage in South The squire’s wife tohl them •1 was away. She said that -form the service, as she art, and also knew the charges. -sons were satisfied; ’n»o the bouse and •x nays a Phlladel- >eclal, the girl’s tn bad played arrlage. He an ' a IP p**» u ( ' rgaareew n DNIIOWiuraltaf “SPEAR HEAD” “SICKLE” NOBBYSPUN ROLL PIPER HEIDSIECK” “BOOTJACK” OLEVARGINY” (PLUG SMOKING.) Docatin* Buiokeleee Gene. The English war offiee'a uew scheme for the training of Tommy Atkins In maneuvers embraces many novelties, which will In due course see the light of practical demonstration. Among these none la more Interesting or fraught with greater possibilities than the device fo • training soldiers to lo cate guns Bring smokeless powder. Arrangements are being made to carry out experiments In this direction at Aidershot, and the sappers have al ready constructed an Ingenious battle field upon Ash Ranges, which will make Held firing very realistic. In the trial to come an Infantry force will approach the ranges, and will imme diately be fired upon by distant guns. Endeavor will be made to locate the field pieces and the lufantry will move forward In cover. As they advance surprise targets representing cavalry and mounted Infantry will spring upon flank and front, an armored train will run out, and all the features of a mod ern battle-field will be represented against the advancing force. This method will call for great Initiative from commanders, and the targets will be so made that good shooting will be recorded by the targets being knocked over. As an Inducement to make Infantry take cover a new device bas been adopted. Artillerymen are to accom pany the advancing columns, and when a distant gun fires Its dummy shell they will produce a correspond ing explosion among the attackers by means of a small mortar—thus teach ing the lesson of cover and caution as no other means short of live •bell could do.—London Express. Found Fortune and Love. ZT ÍÍ A Jfú'i Sii 51 a « a li 'I I 4 to »••a ')i R r ' ■« kV. ■ >... *44 r ¿4* *<**/• «4P (PLUG SMOKING.) P V*‘W »«*« MOM Utrr nu».. reenrea. ^sa ULDPEACHaHONET ••(•ft /ATtol ’/• • •• 77 »*^7 •• E. Rice, Oreenvllle.” “J. T„” "Good Luck,” •‘Cross Bow,” “Old Honesty,” •• Brandy wine," “Jolly Tar,” “Standard Navy," “Planet,” "Nep tune,” “ Razor." “Tennessee Cross Tie," “Granger Twist." t L 4 €" * (Twa " Grangar Twlat ” lag* baiag equal Is oae ot other* oreolreaed ) J ■ •o '«•a. TAOS MAY. BG ASSORTED IN SECURINQ PRESENTS. r ,M/iW! PC" ■> -, rs- f / I' sa Our new illustrated MArCff 00* I CATALOGUE OF PRESENTS ¿ite* One of the most Interesting romances of the great Southwest bas recently come to light, and Miss Maxine Double day. a young school-teacher at the lit tle town of I-aurel Valley. Tex., Is the heroine. Many years ago Maximilian Doubleday was In love with the girl's mother. When she married his brother he enlisted In the Southern army and the family lost tracs of him. The soldier, however, always kept bis sweetheart’s picture. FOR 1902 wV will include lb Any articles not shown her». It win contain 0>e moot attractive Liat ot Presents ever offered toe Taga, and will be eent by mad on receipt of postage—two cents. (Catalogue will be ready fur mailing about January lot, ipM ) Write your earn, and addreee fl.Mf on outaldo ot packagoe contalain| Tags, and send them and requeata for Freeonte to C. Hy. BROWN. as Btewarttown. 1 •/* F4O (PLUG SMOKING.) jS’i. SQUIRE S WiFE TIED KNOT _ my name ’e I wm ashington Star. years.” says one gentleman, and ha hands over a knife that he'a carried since he Was a boy, aud that he'd bate to lose. Many knives brought lu for repairs are prised trees use they are gifts; or they were bought In some foreign eouu try, or they Just suit the hand ot the man that use« them. There are various more or lews sentimental reasons why a man may prefer to keep the old knife rather thau di «card It for a new one. Then It may be that in soma other eases the knife Is too valuable to be thrown away. 8o that first aud last and for one reason aud another out of the vast number of po»-ket knives ear rle«l a rchx I many «-ouie In to be meuded. The repairs made to pocket knives sre of a varied character. They may ! consist, for example. In the putting on of one new pearl side on a irearl-han- died knife to rvplaee a aide cracked or flawed. With long use the blade at the hinged end or the spring Iu the handle or the rivet by which the blade la held may get worn so that the knife blade won't close pnqrerly, or may be the spring Is no louger as It should be. flush with tb«> back of the knife. Iu fact, a great many things eau happen to a pocket knife, anil of course the more blades the more things can happen, but the cutler repairs them all. The phrase “rvbladtd and rehandled” suggested, of course, the Idea of a com- ( plete renewal, ami the Inquirer won- «lend If It might not ire possible that with the repair sf a knife In one part and another such a renewal might oc cur. And the cutler «aid that not only was It possible, but that sometimes It actually did happen that with succes sive renewals of Its various parts the whole knife came some times to be en tirely renewed, and there was left of tbe original knife nothing. Min flag since her father’s death sup ported herself and mother by her school-teaching In the little Texas town. A few months ago she went on a visit to Brazos County. There she met a young man. Lee Payaon. who told her of her marke-» reaemblance to the portrait of a jtlful woman whom a friend of bis loved in bis youth. “And It la a curious fact,” the young man added, “that his name Is the same as yours—Doubleday, Maximilian Dou bleday.” “Why, 1 wonder If It can lie my lost uncle!” the girl exclaimed. Further In- qulry proved that such wag the fact. A reconciliation followed. The wealthy Doubleday found his boyhood sweetheart, who Is now hlg wife. He has made his niece big heiress and she Is soon to wed Payson, the young man Instrumental In bringing about all this good fortune. /u.un ruuti.t / hili '* c/um imo rars. 7* urrABi.iHiiitr, nm. Not Entirely Mute. Terrible Pretture. "The barbarians buried their pris oners in a kind of cement that con tracted as it hardened. You can’t imagine how horrible it must have been." "Oh, yes I can. I have been in a tight bathing suit when it started to shrink."—Chicago News. remodeled and repaired. Colonie* a> Kingdom*. "tit ▼er fires birth to ill A Light Repait. SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. X* A I anurá oL AND MATA AUTOWCB <O.IOSTON,MA5S. m Patents- Send no Money STAR BI5H0P SCOTI ACADtMY • UNII ANO ( * 4! S» SC-Use FOnNOí o A HOMI WIHO I «7 O ,1-HOOI 10H HOÏS MlbV.fi* “if) M/.M i »I MAIMU ,. '’i A - ; v. ill ,i'«IM - I ...Columbia University... Academic and Collegiate Halls. Oiilvnrslty Park, Portland. Oregon. 0N5ALeWtRïWM£M CATAiocuunru showins . FULL UNE or rw£ STAB of star * u REV. E. P. MURPHY, President, TAKCNOWITUTH —■ Write tie. COIIIIHKS < luslral, Literary. Hrlenllllo and Commercial. Tor i.artlciilar-apply to Sore On the Old Man. "He said he'd rather go to jail than pay his divorced wife's ali mony. ’’ "Did she let him go?” "Yes; she said she’d rather see him save his money behind the bars than spend it over them.”—Cleve land Plain Dealer. hh > w * 1 He—Wlmt I feel for you, Muriel, G. P. RUMMEUN & SONS, I can never tell you in words. True raa at., tfae Oregre-- love in silent. and Rollablo furrier» of th* Muriel—Oh, no, I assure you. ft Th* loading rurt oeuTcapre. < i.llarctree, Iw«. Km M..U In all •’"* speaks to papa. Fur Trimming-. Robe, ami Ruga. Hand lor < aMiogu«- the best WAmWLSl?THINfi . IN THE WORLD ’/Sá/ZAZ ZKAR1™15 •er you bear a girl refer to a n Idiot it's dollars to dough- be Is I d lore with him and > with tome other girl. J 4241 Peteoai Av4., St. Louie, Mo. Queen Elizabeth was commonly spoken of an queen of Virginia. Vir A Hand Bow. ginia aixl Carolina were kingdoms A curious phenomenon was recently Pain, Suffering, Wisard Oil could not under the Stuarts. Massachusetts witnessed from the Antelope Island. In lire together, so pain and suffering was recognized as a sister kingdom the Great Salt l-ake, U. S. One after moved out. Ask your druggist alxiut it. by Cromwell's parliament. noon a gentlemnn saw wliat appeared to be a fine rainbow between the Island A Sura Curt. and the mainland, yet no rain was fall "And you say that Jorkins was ing anywhere In the locality. The bow cured of a bad case of insomnia by was double the breadth of an ordinary suggestion?" rainbow, and there was a secondary "Yes, purely by suggestion. His bow above It On looking Into the mat wife suggested that since he could ter lie traced the bow to a cloud ot ep he might as well sit up trade maw and from the shore of the lake. Tito I amuse the baby. It worked ’ is “oolitic,” to charm.”— Chicago Record- ”d the pearly ■nder- .ttraeted much attention, ue has found In the De- iautes Alpes a cavity In tbs a "natural well,’’ the depth of exceeds that of any other He baa sounded It to the depth ut 1.027 feet, but the actual hot- a not been reached. f* 9*00. L 1« «« MILL Haa ball----- - , . l,b ... Turn. Irruir to ihr wind. t |nrtd«l Itali I,rann«. «nd r«"’l,, llgme.1 running mian«'«> „„mpm« grrairat amount of p«""r 1 pol io<rthr< oalvanlicd alter m«11 *P*, i ,)»- ii utiadi with galranuod boll«. 11 „tur. „ pari cao ru«l or irrt loo.r »n ’ |(nl«U»J M right regulator: P»r,,‘ snrlng to changa *fn'! with <A Umnaraiurr. «nd «r<>» Itrpalr- alw«v« on h« . w f«u. I Th. Ml thing« arg worth m""r ’ %’ Thru why not buy a HI vn Bright Man Wanted. WANTED—A bright young manor woman to repn sent us in each local ity. A good opportunity lor steady Sod lucrative employment. Address, UNION PUBLISHING CO., rOHTLAAO, OltfOOd. JOHN POOLS, Portend, Ort* | 10 Mels lliilklIrie, PORTLAND, OKK Mb and Mon lion ata.. Hungry Horace—Kind Indy, can’t But * ino'l.l or drawing with a demrlpikm WI- will adrl»» yon. J. H Imffl« L'lji'r ye gimme somepin ter eat? I ain’t and A Co., (Dept. A) Washington, II. c. I K L.C Summar Reaolutlonn ate nothin’ scnce day before yester day. Kind Lady — And what did yoy ■»re rsUet lion llqaor, nplua end tosasse eat then? Wold by driiffirint«. kaMts asad lev gartlaalan re Horace— A Nothin Hungry iiuravc ra/v..a.a ’ but de ■tyket report in an old paper. üMv liitltut* **° ttV Keeley Cure i w • « ft««« Morri*«* *»'•* Can give you the h*" Buggies. Flow«. Hods« Windmills and Pt>n>£ ,nl n|, Machinsry. He. □. befoN buy»M N. r. N. O. IV»””* Ho. ss 'H^ A I n i