*SumorT Feed on Humors Th* Sooner You Out Rid of Thom the Better. Tn the Spring there's an effort of Nature to cleanse your system. You know this by the pimples and other eruptions on your face and body. In the Spring, therefore, is the best time to take Hood’s Sarsaparilla For the quickest results. But whenever taken, this great medicine thoroughly cleanses the sys­ tem, gets into all Its nooks and cor­ ners, removes all humors and all unhealthy accumulations. ** Hood's Sarsaparilla Is an excalltnt blood purifier. We had a little boy with us whose bands and face were broken out with sores. We save him Hood'« Sarsapa­ rilla and the sores ewn disappeared." J obs S cbwab , Nipomo, Cal. Aocwpt No Subetltuto. Poor Old Coal. riwler Watsav Strange acquaintance, are to be mad. under water. H. l'belpa Wbltmarsh. who for a time adopted the calling of pearl-ttsher In Australian waters, tells this story of meeting a submarine mon­ ster: It was a muddy day. and everything In consequent* looked blurred and ex­ aggerated In the yellow distance I saw an Immense dark object moving slowly toward me. As It came nearer, I made out a central body with several groat arms or feelers waving rhythmic­ ally. My heart was In my mouth. 1 felt sure It was an octopus. Then, when I was about to sttr up the mud at my feet, to avoid being seen, I discov­ ered that the enemy was nothing more than a fellow diver. The feeler. I had Imagined were bls arms, legs and lines. A shadowy giant about twelve feet hlgb. with buge hands and a head like a small barrel, was approaching He walked slowly, bts heavy boots raising the mud behind him like a cloud of dust, and his great central eye gleamed darkly. Although 1 knew him to be a man. It was with difficulty that I re trained from taking to my heels At sight of me. he. too. was startled; but he quickly recovered, and we ebook bands. Then we nodded, grinned, showed each other tbs stat« of our bags, and parted. "Bulgey claims that he has more social engagements than he can fill. Does he really shine in society?” The Steam I. ocohioi Ive Doomed. "Oh, yes. Didn’t you ever see that It is elsinied that a itliin a fi« » ears lhe dress coat of his? There was never •let-trie muter * ill complete y -iieplanl lhe steam kx-oniolive, amt train» a ill liien rush another so shinv as that.” along at a snee«i of 100 miles an hour. To travelers this will prove a great l- e.-int. Simplicity In Funerals. but no more so than Hosteller - Ntonuti li Ritters, has proved a blessing to th«>»e «* no The simplicity which marked the wish to regain their hrl.'h «pucklv The ancient Jew ish burial ceremonies has Ritterscuredysnepsia.inibgestioti. t> ion» much to commend it even to us. The iiess, malaria' lever ami ague, also im­ inexpensive coffin and the uniform proves the appetite and purii es the blotkl linen shroud served to emphasise the Doubtful. equality of all in death. As things First Crony — Let me see, didn’t are today the rich tax their brains to invent new funeral fineries and the Strickland marry one of Old Smiley’s poor impoverish themselves to keep girls” Second Crony—Yea. up with their wealthier neighbors. First Crony—By the way, though, isn’t Smiley dead” Second Crony—He was the last heard of him. BARON STEUBEN'S NAMEBAKES. Bluff RvvoluGrtnurv HoliUer*« Horne bv Munv Other-. Name Baron Steuben, tlie bluff’ ol«l aoldler of the Revolution, was greatly belove«l by his men. He was enlle«! evi-rywher« "The Baron," nml to on«* woninn. w ho came to him asking |>ermissloii to nit me her child for him. he said, "And what will you call hint?" For. like all tith'd personnges. he hail a profusion of proper-name«. "Why," «al«! the woman. "I’ll call bint Baron." Baron he wits, ami «0 were tho other namesakes. Ituleed. when th«* old sol­ dier was urged to lay aaltl« Ills title. In the enthusiasm of the Freiieli Revo­ lution. he answered that It would be of no use. Thor«* were too many Baron Steuliens In exlatence. One full grown namesake he ac­ quired under peculiar elrcuniatancen. When be was one day Inspecting a Connecticut regiment he found a fine- looking sergeant. miuie«l Jonathan Ar­ nold. The baron had been one of the court which hs«l unwillingly condemn­ ed Andre, and he detested the “wretch who drew hint to death.” So he advised the man to change his mime. "Rut what name shall 1 take?” cried Arnold. “Any name you please." answensl the baron. "Take mine. It’s at your servk'e.” So Jonathan Arnold duly became Jonathan Steuben, and under that name fought bravely and well When he returned to bls Conni'cticiit hottie, after the war. he married, and bls son was named after the old soldier. "Fred­ erick William." To lilni Baron Steuben willed a farm, and Ftwlerlek William Steulien. a good soldier In the War of 1S12. died in the service. (O I Marvel Watch of Oww«ww. A manufacturing firm of Geneva, Rw Itserlaud, has for many years been making a specialty of complicated timepieces and a watch placed on view at the Taris exposition Is regarded by them aa their highest achievement, lu It they have overcome problems which were before considered Inaolvable. ami have succeeded lu retaining the size of the watch within a convenient limit of a pocket timepiece namely, twenty llgnea, corresponding to the American eighteen else. But two of these watches have ever been constructed. One of these was purchased direct from the workshop of the flrm to lie added to the magnificent watch collection of A. I'ontl, the celebrated amateur of Mllau, Italy. This watch, which lias a perpetual calendar indicating the days of the mouths, the days of the week and the phases of the moon, also possesses separate small dials, upon which shown automath-ally for a given tilde the time of the rising of the and the time of Its setting The tleulty overcome here was great, what comprises the merit of the piece Is that. In connection with the mlnuli baud, which shows the mean time (the time w«> use). It carries another baud which Indicates the aim’s time (the true time) This hand, moving from the center as do the bands showing the mean time, constantly travels with them and places Itself each «lay at mid night lu the position It should occupy In order to Indicate for that day the difference between the mean and true time. The variation Is very great, being as much as fift«*en minutes In our di­ rection or the other. Thes«« dates are April 15. June 15. Sept. 1 and Dec. 25.— Jewelers* Circular. City filler’» Advanta*.. "That then1 farm.” said the driver, "on the off side, belongs to a feller in town that runs it for his health." “How doe. he get along?" uskisl the drummer. “Oh, ‘bout *• well’s the rest of us. nlv he don’t have to buy no gold s to come out loser, like we do.” To Mother» of 'Machinery, Implements, Large Faniilios Farm Supplies, Etc. In Vil« workaday world few wonieB B,e so pl».«'«l Hi«' pbisi«’»' '"*’ is not .s.iiatiuitly demanded of them their daily lif ' , . We make a s|«ecial «p|*»l ••* nwlherx of large famille» whose work I« u«'»' .lone, and many "f wh«»'» •“*' •offer for .lack of intelligent aid »<> ». ........ young .-‘«mg or "hl. Tl» women, old. rich ■ r s.r. we rxteml . ■ an invitation lo«.er|. ..I . I . K ■ , . » f ll*I u<*t l«'t Oh. women ! Mitchell Bicycles ADVANCE THRESHER CO Fseliiry. natila Creak, Mlrhlgan, $26 • $30 Htaiit'h llviiar, Portland, $40 OXI OKI). DEFENDER and DUN1.OK TIKES Hill I Ina of Niin>1riat Hrtut for « atalogiir Dunlop Mirri llima Agrntfl O f*at |o iik .. .. F vol of Mortiteli Mtreet. ----- •» lite lievt bargain« in ».ii • 1 1. Itiiilrra ami EttgiiiM, All k I nil« of W lie aiul h.,u a. a l*nni|«« «ul tiettaral PORTLAND WIRt A IHUH WOBga ui betör« buying. 14« Frwas at.. I*>o«l-ai, o..gwe. (’an givo you Buggies, I’lowa, Wiii liudl« ami Machinery. t*«* Mna. t'AMMIM BKI.I.MVItJ-M. jmur lirea be when • wen! of advice nt tho tir-t approach of '" «>* new. may till vour future year« witlt healthy >>V Adilre« a letter to Mr- Pinkham's Laboratory. Lynn Ma»» ami von will not la* disappointed •• When I began to tak»' Lyal* »• Pinkham's Vegetable Contptmnd I wat not abh* to «Io niv housework I Mif fered terribly at time of menstruation Several doctöjr« told me they i-ouhl >1* nothing for me Thanks to the I ink ham advice am! me«!ieiite I am now well, and cau do the work for eight I» tha family. •• I would recommend Lydia E T’tnlr ham’s Vegetable Componti«! to all mothers with large families Mss c«—t» Ran at it i «. Ludington. Mich Chas. L. Mastick & Co. 79 ^»Xndr’o;egZ..0rt CASH HVYEIIN OF HIDES, PEI IS AND TALLOW. Day luglioat matkrl i>«li«*. I’ROMI’I III- I I’Rsg Dealet« in l.atlier ami Fin«llt>g«. Refer to Well«, Fargo A Co. Hauk, llortlatiiu Kantmi. effects which are often worse than takes the form of a mild biography. Manalin. 1 have I r '»* h atllirtcil the trouble itself and which seem to Mr. Harte has contributed a letter l< I* or !< *•'» i<»r a quart» mi a runtury baffle all efforts of physicians. A the book an<1 inchlentally remark- that I catarrh of th»* -ton meh and specific, however, has been found much which Mr. which not only will quickly restore about him shouhl the health after an attack of grip atone and expel the lingering germs, but, The last literary worn undertaken working through the blood will ren­ Alphonse Daudet. a play base-rio-<,u run.- Tab et, cure a cold la ner for several weeks, I happened to father, for although he Is only t«-n □tie day. No cure. No Fay. Price 25 centa. read an advertisement of Dr. Wil­ years of age he plays cricket well and liams’ Pink Pills for Pale People. Is an excellent rifle-shot His father Italiana call locusts “little horse«, Thinking they might do me good, I was a famous sportsman, equally profi­ and the German term for these j>ests began taking them at once. In three cient In cricket. In riding, polo playing is “hay horses.” days I was much better and could and pig sticking, as the boar hunt Is sleep like a child at night. After called. Active man by larve manuta' turlng house; In < a-h t-ald for l'Z dava trial; promotion using a box of the pills my memory The last notable achievement of the arxl |H-rmar>ent j-olllon If satlsfaelory. A<1- was restored and I felt greatly en­ Maharaja was making twenty-one dress G. B p. Co., *23 Chestnut Hl, Phllada. couraged, I continued taking them runs In eight and a half minutes In the until I had used three boxes and cricket match against the Bombay Par Coal can be transported 1,000 miles was in better health than I had enjoy­ sees. So It will be seen that little on the American lakes for 20 cents a ed for several years. Ticca Sahib has an illusirlous family ton. “If a stamped envelope is sent fol record to emulate. reply I will gladly answer all inquir­ ies relating to my case.” New York to Philadelphia forSl. Signed, MRS. J. B. SHAW. The plans to connect New York nml Suliscribed ami sworn to before nm Philadelphia by trolley by way of Soin this 12th day of February, 1901 ervllle, N. J., are nthstit-lng. The LIONEL MOISE. tracks of the Phllnd«-lph[a nml New (Seal) Notary Public. Jersey Railroad and the Phlliierli>l. Banana growing is a feature of fruit raising in Southern California Though it docs not meet with th«- same success aa it does in tropical regions the enterprise is said to 1» making fair progress. ever saw. professor? Prof. Trotter—A woman, madam. TakeLasao'e Broato QttlalBS Tablets. ! ruggiste ret un-I I ; r »„ i r . i r 11 ' • a t<> Slipshod Work. St. Peter—What’s the matter in the recording angel’s department? Spirit—Slipshod work. They are trying to find out who is to blame. You let Mr. Greatman in yesterday, didn't you? “Yes; there wasn’t a thing against him. ” "Well, the recording angel has got hold of an old newspaper printed by the opposition party, and has found all sorts of horrible things about him” ■owl this : V« effer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any MM of CotArrh that can no« bo curod by H<11 ■ baVtrrb CUT— F. J. CilENEY A CO , Propa., Toledo. C W« the nndersigned. have known F. J. Cheney ttue paat 15 -ears, and believe him perfectly I« -abl in all busin ss transactions and tin- ancial «Ma to carry out any obligations mil« ky taeir «rn». Warr * Taraz. Wbolesal. Druggist«, Toledo, WaLniso. I'.iKHa« A Marvis, W noUaala Drug i»ta, Toledo O. nall'sCatarrh Cure I» t ken n- rnally.ac tag dlree'lyon the blood and m coua surfaces th« syat. nt. Pri e 75c per bo'da. tj.d by «L WUg; 1st«. TasttBonl is free. ■all s Family FU1- r th gmu Whistling • Si« la Iceland. Whistling in Iceland is considered aa much of a sin as profanity. There •re some parts of the world where those who whistle are fined and put in jail. __________ In th« Sam* Fix. Wife—This is a nice time to come borne! I have not closed an eye all night! Husband—D-do you think I did? glVS F«nMu»ntlr Cured Ko fit« «V nervoora«« rllB i/ler Srvt o«r'. u.e-'f t'r K h se • Grevi Hew« ■Mt««er Seed for FBBK»J.««trUI b.*tle*Dd treat STtla.ril E liks . Ltd..vai ÀrthSt.. rhiUdelrhl». Fa Days of Rain. It rains on an average of 208 days in the year in Ireland, about 150 in England, at Kezan about 90 days and in Siberia only 60 days. Our 1901 catalog contain* a full list of everything needed for photographic purpose*. The fullest line of amateur good* in the west. Kirk, Geary & Co., 330 Sutter St., San Francisco. Nad All the Marks. Teacher— And how do you know, my dear, that you have been christ­ ened? Scholar—Please, mum, cause I got the marks on me arm now, mum. When year liver Is out of order 4o not dose yourself with poisonous drugs that harm and nev> r cure, but take Ger- g.ldTaa, and 11 EK It remedy that CURES. Tillman's Offer to Lecture. Senator Tillman has received a flat­ tering offer to go on the lecture plat­ form, with full privilege to select his An unmarried man goes twice as far Necessary Apology, own topic and discuss it in his own way. The southerner is a capital He—Newlywed is always talking In the road as a married man before be meet« anyone who fells hint hl* duty. atory teller and has a keen sense of about his wife’s money. humor, both of which qualifications She—That’s very strange. A great ¡Bind 1» always a generous would stand him in good stead as a “Not so very. You just ought to »«. lecturer. see her.” You »011M b* aiirpriacl II you Vn»w how IlttlM |i wUH >1 • oa| iou in fl a up that oi l r tWlter for a-«n>«' Atiihur • •tnp« •h«| I (»right« •n<1 * p«ir of nur >• i ■ •n«l mat«* ) our •• <1 w |f« lettt r I ih I lit* • hew cilia ASCH<>R D.M F. Ir*» aa •« h •« 1 1« an alro i< that far mru a«rnatl think that it ti.uat bw h gh prh«4 lan l, lh«?ufh When von tails Grove'« Ta»t«b-» ‘ hill Tonic, hr.-auw lhe lortn.il«la plans, «. r in 1--.1 ■ n «vary tools «howlnr Iliat It la - tn' lrlronandUul- nlu« in a taatclsM form. No Cut«, No Fay. After-Effects Are Often Worse i Than the Trouble Itself—How A Traveler's Opinion. They May Be Avoided and Mrs. Quizzer (who wants to know something)—Now what do you con­ Good Health Restored. sider to be the most curious thing you Tko Boat Proscription tor Malaria thills and Fever is a battle of Grove’s Tasteless Mill Tonic. It is simply iron and quinine In 1 f-y—■— «^— No Cure. No Pay. Price SOc. Sec Our Anchor Clamp IOV KNOW WIIAT tot- AKK TAHl«O "I see that the r«s>rganixed army i« to have 27 dentists "That's a g«s*l thing They II keep the dog« ol war in a condition to »how their teeth to the beet of «d vantage.' ’ I'Uaar lm>< t ai*«i Cattle, sheep and Ilog Tight. IARM. RAILROAD AM) LAWS W rii» for Frire« an t < • ta ofu« Agent« " ani*«! >n » vrf f TuWM The Portland Anchor Pence Co. 74» Nkolal St.. PORTI. AND, Oregua. WEATHERWISE. /OTHERWISE.! , WUT WTTSIVU« TO OCHE A «Oi ls IN OKI HAT g. w. Urvve'i slanature Ison ea< II b-'l f * 3 • The now library at Athens is now compietesi. It was Iwgun 14 years ago by Professor Ziller. of l»r«--»l«-ii It has room for 4,0*S) voltino ■ People eipr< t mu<*h from ».arfl. I«1 T*a. • nd th«-Y ar-- i. • ’ - o •tomach, Hwr and N»w. ! «1 r* ai»«l cure* conitipatiuii an i ■;< • h< •g to death. If you arc a photographer atxi have not received a copy of our 1*.M>| cuts log you have inisaed a good tiling Send for it at once. Kirk, Geary A Co., 330 Sutter St., San Francisco SLICKED 1 JtoABr jr ni-*-«ni too«-u« A«Tvr imo « iau . cATAiO4ue> rate JtiTw•ïfl f u'I L,r< of Gfirmsut» fiftj _A w Towca co floaros mm » ,. YOUR OLD STRAW HAT Mad* n<* «Ith ant Mira« lini ik*iid » -in* mm I R» »t - ä H. cent« WOODARD. CLARKH A CO.. CbrmN Pori Und, Orrg n. ■. r. ». c. BN. «rllla u>«iUua Puffs under the eyes; red nose; pimple* blotched, greasy face don’t mean hard drink« ing always as much as it shows that there is BILE IN THE BLOOD. It is true, drink­ ing and over-eating overloads the stomach, but failure to assist nature in regularly dis­ posing of the partially digested lumps of food that are dumped into the bowels and allowed to rot there, is what causes all the trouble. CASCARETS will help nature help you, and will keep the system from filling with poisons, will clean out the sores that teil of the sys- stem’s rottenness. Bloated by bile the figure becomes unshapely, the breatn foul, eyes and skin yellow; in fact the whole body kind of fills up with filth. Every time you neglect to help nature you lay the foundation for Just such troubles. CASCARETS will carry the poisons out of the system and will regulate you naturally easily and without grip«, gripe or pain. Start to-night one tablet keep it °P '?f , . / and , C ,— 7 -' ----- a nraale »«J _ Beat Cough Byrup. Taste« Good. U l»n| In time. Hold by druyglFta._ rj ■ I...... a e . o . » ' 10a 25a 50c ALL DRUGGISTS. CURE p«l>»« artel- ««Un«, Ile«? “<»'»••• U..........Im pi. S, • ■<1 dtrstn..., î*9*”».«»"»Pl«*lwit larly you arn gBM| "J “r »’’’’«1« rf«»«1 < nsove r.gu- peeple than ¡|| otR.r »*'H* mor« •t.rter for the < hr„nlr J|| *" .,.?.h,r* •• '• • •affkrlng that rom. !>"* r*,r’ of Will never get well Zl«d K, w.it ",r b°w«l« rlaht. T«i*. “nl11 with Chin iltKTl to.«.. .._L " *"r «dvl«»! atari NEVER SOLD IN BLnJv