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About Herald and news. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1942-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 23, 1962)
Quips and Quotes The Trea Trimmers Who'll decorate the Christmas tree With gayly colored spheres? . . . . . Everybody! Who'll drape the ropes of silver beads Round and round in tiers? Everybody! Who'll put the twinkling star on top And spray the limbs with snow? Everybody! Who'll string the lights from branch to branch To set the tree aglow? Everybody! Who'll hang the shimmering tinsel On its houghs from base to crown? Everybody! And on the second of January, Who'll help Mother tuke it down? Nobody! SiiMitnne Douglat Snowbound Although the streets and walks are clear And passable, my little dear Plows bravely home from school through ail The drifts and piles of last week's fall; And barring thaw or freakish parch, He'll keep on doing it through March! Betty Isler 1 lb 9 I "Good heavens! Throw me your wallet!" A wife had been busily reading the Sunday newspaper when she suddenly looked up. "This is very interesting," she said to her husband. "This article says scientists predict that in 10 years people will wear clothes which can be dis carded after being worn only once." "That guy is way off schedule," the husband replied sourly. "Why, you've got a closetful of that kind right now!" Jim Henry You're an old-timer if you can remember when, around this time of year, you counted your bless ings instead of your calories. Anna Herbert An elderly matron purchased a used car to do her shopping in and stopped by to have her friend's husband look it over. The man inspected it with some doubt and finally asked: "Well, it may be all right. What's the most you ever got out of it?" The woman thought a moment and replied: "Six times in one mile." Wilfred Beaver BOB HOPE (Continued from page 5) box stuffed with goodies. A sign on it read: "Merry Christmas, Bob." Everywhere, the fellows have treated the girls in our troupe with tremendous respect and that is rare for guys who have not seen a woman in months! I'll never forget Jayne Mansfield's ar rival at Wake Island when 2,000 voices sang out with joy as she bounced off the plane. Three min utes later the airfield was deserted. Everyone had followed Jayne to the beach to watch her take a dip in her ermine bikini. There have been a few close calls on our Christ mas trips. I suppose the worst was over Anchor age, Alaska, when our plane was caught in a sleet storm at 13,000 feet. Our radios went dead and all contact with the field was lost. As we circled around, hoping for a break in the weather, the pilot told us to put on our parachutes and Mae West jackets. Down below, General Bruckner, commander of the base, was getting pretty nervous, too. He knew we didn't have enough fuel to make another airstrip, so he ordered every antiaircraft search light on the base turned on. The beam of just one light penetrated the heavy cover, but it made it possible for our pilot to drop down quickly through the clouds for a landing. I'm sure that if it hadn't been for that split second glimmer of light, I would not have been around to win $15 putting against Arnold Palmer a few weeks ago in our golf sequence for the film, "Call Me Bwana." There was another flying incident I'd just as soon forget We'd been performing at the Bayo net Bowl in Korea, and I hated to leave those marvelous guys who kept pleading for us to go on. I must have been on the 15th chorus of "But tons and Bows," singing to guitar accompaniment while the rest of the band members were pack ing their instruments into the big helicopter parked a couple of hundred feet behind the stage. OFF stage, I could see the pilot was beginning to worry because the weather was closing in. Finally, he held up a crude sign telling me to get into the copter fast. When I did, the rotor blades wouldn't move until someone kicked the shaft a couple of times. When we finally did take off, the visibility was practically zero. "I just hope you can still find your way back," I apolo gized to the pilot. "Don't worry, Bob," he smiled. "We'll fly in this direction, and if we hear shots we'll know it's the wrong way." We got through all right. But the very next day, we lost a copter to enemy ground fire in the same area. The only real embarrassment I've ever had was purely a technical problem. One Christmas in Hollandia, New Guinea, we were out in front of 2,000 men when the mikes went dead. Everyone in the audience started yelling, and I felt terri ble: who can be funny when nobody is able to hear you? Since then, I have always insisted that our engineers check the equipment ahead of time. If they find a bug, they can fix it before it's too late. Sometimes, that in itself has been pretty funny. During the Christmas of 19G0, we were with the garrison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (see photo on page 5). On Christmas Eve I attended midnight Mass and watched with surprise as the priest came down the aisle giving short sermons at each individual row of worshipers. I turned to Jack Shea, our director, and whis pered: "Look at that. He's working like Billy Graham I've never seen a priest do that before." "He has no choice," Jack whispered back. "We swiped his P.A. system for the show." But because it was Christmas, I knew that he wouldn't mind. t family Weekly, December 23. 1X2
