HERALD AND NEWS, Klamath Falls. Ore.
Sunday, January 0, 1M
No Such Thing As 'Surplus'
Probably nothing will wax of it. but the
proposal of Rep. Robert Elfstrom to use $10
million of Oregon's $40 millwa "surplus" for
state debt retirement appeals to us.
' Others who go along with the idea of fiscal
Responsibility in government think like
Rep. Elfstrom, and the idea might have a
ghost of a chance of realization although to
many such economy pleas fall by the wayside
' to offer much encouragement in this instance.
': " Elfstrom's plan would, in effect, cut Gov.
Hatfield's $359 million general fund budget,
and Elfstrom makes no bones about the fact
that it is just what he is proposing to do.
Another state officer, treasurer Howard Bel
ton, has urged that the whole $40 million
be used for debt retirement. Legislators on
both sides of the aisle have expressed opinions
that the budget could be cut.
If that is true, the budget should be cut
regardless of the false "prosperity" gener
ated by the thought of a budget surplus. In
fact, the whole idea of a "surplus" is absurd.
There is no such thing as a surplus that
money belongs to the state's taxpayers. It is
not feasible to return it, so any plan that
will relieve future taxation is a logical one.
Bludgeons The Middle Class '
Prof. C. Northcote Parkinson has institut
ed "Parkinson's First Law" (the work load ex
pands to fill the time of all persons employed)
and "Parkinson's Second Law" (expenditures
rise to meet income) which have caused the
;-nose of more than one businessman to
jltwitch. In a portion of his book, Prof. Park
inson points up the ridiculous situation that
.'is forced by our income tax laws.
'. An extremely wealthy man underwent an
; -extremely serious operation at the hands of an
.'extremely distinguished surgeon. Ten days
afterwards the surgeon asked how his patient
:was progressing. "Doing fine," said the nurse.
"He has already been trying to date Nurse
tAudrey, a sure sign of convalescence."
; "In that case," said the surgeon, "the
.patient needs something to steady his pulse.
3 shall tell him what the operation cost."
I The patient sobered down under his
treatment and did some rapid calculations on
the back of his temperature chart.
: "Your fee of $4,000," he'.finally conclud
ie 4, "represents the portion I retained from the
Oast $44,500 of my income. To pay you with
jout being worse off would mean earning
another $44,500 more than last year; no easy
task."
i "Well," replied the surgeon; "you know
how it is. It is only by charging you that much
;that I can afford to charge others little or
rothing." ,
,i "Nd doubt," said the patient. "But the,
"fee still absorbs $44,500 of my theoretical in
come no inconsiderable sum. Might I ask
,what proportion of the $4,000 you will manage
to retain?"
t: It was the surgeon's turn to scribble cal
culations, as a result of which he concluded
Jthat his actual gain, after taxes had been paid,
would amount to $800.
"Allow me to observe," said the patient,
"that I must therefore earn $44,500 in order
to give you $800 for spendable income, the
entire balance going to the government. Does
that strike you as a transaction profitable to
either of us?"
"Well, frankly, no," admitted the sur
geon. "Put like that, the whole thing is ab
surd. But what else can we do."
"... Come closer so I can whisper," said
the patient. "Why don't I give you a case of
Scotch and so call it quits?"
"Not enough," hissed the surgeon, "but
if you made it two cases . . .?"
"Yes?"
"And lent me your cabin cruiser for three
weeks in September ..."
"Yes?"
"We might call it a deal."
Well, there is only one example of how the
things works if only theoretically. But it
does show that someplace along the line our
restrictive income tax plan is simply destruc
tive. 2300 years ago, when the Greeks adopted
this tax, it was accompanied with a prophetic
comment from the leading scholar of the day
Isocrates. He said: "It would appear that
success is to be punished: that exorbitant tax
es have made it a crime for a man to prosper.
The end result of such an order c?n only be
removal of incentive, the discouragement of
our people, and the destruction of our free'
sdciety."'
And, lest the reader say that the income
tax soaks the rich (like the doctor and the
businessman, in this parody) let us hasten to
add that the income tax does not soak the rich
it bludgeons the middle class.
Every Day A Holiday?
It was somewhat shocking to learn that
state employes enjoy the privilege of paid
holidays on Washington's and Lincoln's birth
days. How silly can we get?
The information came when Gov. Hatfield
proposed that the birthdays of our national
fneroes snoum no longer be observed as. non
jdays. Instead, he asks that Feb. 14 be declared
kas a legal holiday, because that is the date of
.'Oregon's admission to the Union.
In our opinion the governor should have
Recommended abolition of the two holidays
rand let it-go right there. This holiday thing
js overdone already. We can observe import
ant historical events and occasions without the
formality of a holiday.
s
It is doubtful that business and industry
would go so far to observe the date of admis
sion to the Union, and public employes would
be the only persons enjoying the privilege of
a holiday.
The incident brings to mind another
thought: At a time when this nation apparent
ly needs greater production, .an attitude to
ward harder work, and tougher discipline, we
seem hell-bent the other way. More and more
pressure is applied for shorter work weeks,
more holidays, and greater vacations. Every
body wants to work less, and still draw bigger
pay. And there is a concerted howl when prices
go up to pay for this laziness.
BARBS
; Nobody ever enjoys pipe smoking
when it's the one that leads from the
furnace.
Canadian Province
Aniwer to Previous Puzxl
I Women's gloves are what a hus
band goes back to look for after he has
left a movie with his wife.
ACROSS
1 New Brunswick
is one of the
province!
of Canada
I It on
Quebec. Nova
Scotia and
Maine
13 Transferee
14 Dormouse
DOWN
1 Auricle
2 Nautical term
3 liOcation
4 Symbol for
tellurium
5 Conclusion .
6 She epfolris
7 .Salamander!
8 Visigoth king
9 Waccr
10 Soviet river
Heating' systems in some apart
Tments are commonly known as flat
'failures,
f Half a peanut is said to supply en
ergy for half an hour of mental work.
Eat more and you shell out more.
' . i . ' ,
i A loose tongue often is a good in
jiication of a man being tight.
, ,
:? A double chin, develops when a
vbouple of women meet.
i ' ;
Any time a kiss will change a pout
Jnto a pucker we're for it.
; When a woman's age starts telling
on her is when a woman stops telling
iher age. 1 . . . ,
19f.n,"1 12 Mix
Mil JiiS-i ie
tia i-iID T T es5
IJ e o 6 p? a r -4iB5ieiD?
i a n i c H v g n 5 e
as 8. u m 5US 2. ti
2D iikDI
2 i.E.E.O.Ny.iL
cma.5r.&Qma. pAIm
H. AT Hi
a a m A . h " o P a ul
ALTO N oInIeI
: A blotter is what people look for
While the ink is drying. v -
moisture
17 Japanese '
watering place
IB Appear
20 Asterisk
22 Brythonlc tea
23 Hawaiian bird
23 Slide
27 Armed licet
31 Dung beelle
35 1'ortugueie
India
S Bewildered
88 Proportion
39 Hodgepodge
, 41 South American
rodent
43 Peruse
44 Sign of the
' zodiac
4s But
4B Knlica
50 Da; break
(comb, form)
51 Tides of the
of Kundr
cause Moncton's
tidal
phenomenon
54 Nevada city
M Essential being
MRangea
62 Wine cup
64 Mimic
63 Wash tightly
64 Fradertcton it
Un provincial
Mrarilltatea
eBarterer
19 Extinct bird
21 Vrench region
24 Harem room
26 Colter's terra
27Kager
28 Play part
29 Mutilate
30 Tower
32 Speed contest
33 Above
34 Twisted
37 Hahylonian god
40 Lubricant
42 Cutting tool
45 Doctors'
assistants
47 Mine shaft hut
49 Make into law
31 Unclothed
52 Operatic solo
53 Longings (slang!
55 Persian
tcntmaker
57 CHut
53 Ship mast
59 Congers
61 Peer Gynt'a
molher
63 Rratilian
wallaba
67 Hypothetical
structural unit
I" IJ 15 U IS Is 1 I It Is hi hi III
n n
ra nrs r?
tip!Zi:pd
2? pi 154 STf-l 31 M p
3 155"- ja
a b" na iT
1 1 1 q mV-b--
bi p p r- 5T ST- 5T iJ p p
a li sr-in-a
i ! i lj r i i 1 1 1 1
"Look Uh You Fellows Are Using
the Wrong Technique"
Letters To The Editor
In The Club
Welcome to the club, Mr. Vost.
Your letter to the editor, printed
Jan. 16, will be read and appre
, dated by present and future mem
bers. ' .
The club grows daily. Initiation
fees come fast. Monthly dues are
paid by many. Cash receipts are
issued promptly. Believe me, Mr.
Yost, they do unto us as they do
unto you. Ninety dollars and three
tickets later leaves one broker
and wiser. The ulcers boil and
the blood pressure goes up, but
one must give credit where
credit is due. It isn't easy to hide
a patrol car!
Please don't feel too badly to
wards our law enforcement boys
and the judicial agencies. The
fault is ours. We elected a young
boss who had many ideas. The
secret weapon he sprung back
there a spell raises lots of mon
ey, but the traffic deaths continue
' to rise.
We had hoped that he would be
sent back there to Washington,
but they must have found out
about him, too. But who knows,
maybe he'll run again and we
can show up on election day. The
members of the club can deal a
body blow.
And please, good neighbors to
.the south, won't you please take
a long second look at the "bug
stations" over there.
Fred Tucker
2251 Shasta Way
Dear Hearis ' '
, And Genile People
Malin, Ore.
Jan. 17, 1960
Editor "Nothing Special" column
Dear Sir:
In your Sunday column you mentioned wanting
material that showed the goodness of people. My wife
and I are particularly aware of the good people around
us at this time, and we wondered if you would put our
letter of thanks as we have written it. We believe this
is one of the things you were referring to.
Sincerely,
Charles V. Dobry, Jr.
DEAR HEARTS AND GENTLE PEOPLE
There may be other places like Klamath County,
peopled by the kind of neighbors that we have, but it
is difficult to believe that for benevolence and great
ness of heart they have equals anywhere.
When my wife and I were so seriously injured in
an automobile accident in December of 1960, the moral,
spiritual, material, and financial aid given us by neigh
bors and by friends throughout the county, especially
those living in Malin, Bonanza, Merrill and Henley,
simply surpasses belief. For our children, who were
not involved in the accident, our friends and benefactors
provided a bountiful Christmas. Local business people
provided us with a splendid Christmas dinner. The acts
of kindness shown us by individuals were so numerous
that we are unable to thank each person separately.
Furthermore, much of the material aid was given anon
ymously. The merchants, with whdm we do business, gener
ously offered to carry us until such a time as I am
again able to earn a living.
There are several , organizations who extended
every effort in our behalf. Those of whom we know are
the Moose Lodge (Merrill), V. F. W. and Auxiliary,
American Legion and Auxiliary, the Elks, and members
of the Eastern Star and the Masonic Lodge of Malin.
We hope to make a permanent home in this locali
ty: we hope to prove worthy of the kindness shown us
when even life was not certain: we earnestly desire to
make Jnown to our kindly neighbors, near and far, that
what they did and what their acts represent, make life
worth living. We are especially grateful to the Rev.
Ethan Whitman who spent many hours at our bedsides.
No words are adequate to express our feelings but
we thank all of you:
, Doris and Charles V. Dobry, Jr.
Malin, Oregon
YOUR POCKETBOOK
Dollars Flight
Raises Standards
NOTHING
SPECIAL
By FA YE HENLE
I've been asked:
When you move to another
state and take another job, where
do you pay taxes? v
Get W-2 forms from both em
ployers and attach them both to
ihe 1040 form, entering the ap
propriate figures. File these with
the Director of Internal Revenue
at the office nearest your new
residence. This takes care of the
federal tax.
When it comes to state taxes,
check the state tax office to see
whether the state in which you
live, or the state in which you
work, requires payment of in
come taxes. Among some' states
there are reciprocal agreements
which must be honored. Some
slates levy an income tax, other;!
don't.
Is it true the average employe
really makes $0,000 a year?
This notion recently got inlo
headlines as a result of a Bureau
of Labor statistics report on what
is considered a "modest but ade
quate" level of living for a typi
cal family. In the case chosen,
"typical" meant a 38-year-old ciiy
worker, a non-working wife, a 13-vear-old
son and 8-year-old daugh
ter. Probing the story for the bene
fit of employers hit by sudden
salary increase demands, the Re
search Institute of America Inc.
reports that the government's
budget figures reflect a good
deal more than just the cost of
living, lhat it is the standard of
living that has changed drastical
ly during the past decade.
On a national average, thoy
report, the city worker's budget
has increased 45 per cent since
1951.
Based on these figures the larg
est increase, 57 per cent, came
in Chicago. In Portland, Ore., the
increase was 55 per cent and in
Seattle 53 per cent. The smallest
gain noted was 25 pr cent in
Houston followed by 31por cent
in Atlanta and 36 per cent in
Baltimore. '
How usual are purchases of
stock for minors?
Thoughts
And the man Klkanah and all
his house went up to oiler to
the Lord the yearly sflcrifice, and
to pay his tow. I Samuel 1:21.
Let men laugh, if they will,
when you sacrifice desire to duty.
You have time and eternity to
rejoice- in. Theodora Parker.
It all depends upon what you
l mean by usual. According to
a study by the New York Stock
Exchange of trading activity on
one specific day, $815,000 worth of
stock was bought or sold by cus
todians for minors in some 600
transactions involving .22.000
shares. This volume is nominal,
for often three million or more
shares are traded in a single
. day. Tne average size of each
' transaction for the small fry was
38 shares the average price per
share $36.50.
The exchange, however, notes
increased market activity on be
half of youngsters and attributes
this to legislation in all states
which simplifies giving gifts of
securities to minors.
Note to doting grandpas, grand
mas and rich uncles: This is an
excellent device for building funds
for education. A share of stock
can buy you more long-term en-
doarment than a giddy toy.
I guess that most of us think
that we have all of the prob
lems of the world. Shed a tear in
your beer for Sen. Clair Englc,
Cal., who dropped this pensive
missive in the mail.
"There are times when a Unit
ed States Senator might just as
well head for the Atlantic Ocean
. . . and keep on going until his
hat floats.
"By last count, we have over
500 Californians in Washington
for the Inaugural fesUvities. Tick-
cts for the ceremony? 'Yes, I '
had some. This ceremony is han
dled by Congress and each Sena
tor gets some to distribute 11.
Now, how does a Senator take
care of 500 people from California
with just 11 tickets?"
Now, there you must agree, is
a lamentable situation. But you
know what? I'll just bet that the
good Senator (as well as 49 oth
ers) found satisfactory ways out
IW. B. S.)
of their dilemma(s).
THE DOCTOR SAYS
'Fast Draw' Leaves
Cripples In Wake
By HAROLD T. HYMAN, M.D.
Newspaper Enterprise Assn.
In an article in the Western
Journal of Surgery, Dr. J. V.
Brown has described a scries of
16 cases in which gunshot wounds
of the leg were caused by what
he calls "The Fast Draw Syn
drome." The origin of Dr. Brown's pa
per is, of course, the present day '
Western, shown in the movies or
on TV with, monotonous regular
ity. I'm sure you know the formula
for (he fast draw. Good guy and ,
bad guy meet in the town's main
street. They approach each other
as remaining members of the cast
run for cover.
Suddenly the bad guy pulls his
gun. But the good guy is quicker
"on the draw" and "fills t him
full of lead."
Wherewith, the villain dies with
out a struggle only to be replaced
after a short delay by another
bad guy who pulls his gun only
to meet the same fate at the
hands of the "faster draw" and
sq on and on and on as lonj
as the sponsor sells his product.
In the real life cases observed
by Dr. Brown, a "young man in
his late teens or early twenties
presents a small caliber gunshot
wound of the lower extremity, ac
cidentally (clf-inflicted while prac
ticing the 'fast draw.' Too slow
on the draw and too quick with
his trigger finger," he fires the
weapon before it is disengaged
from the holster and shoots him
self in his right foot. ,
In a more serious modification
of the accident, called "The Dodge
City Syndrome," and apparently
very familiar to Chicago as well
as other police officers, a bullet
of larger diameter is fired from
a .45-caliber gun.
Under these circumstances, the
point of entry is apt to be behind
the knee in the vicinity of Uie
large vessels that bring blood to
and from the foot. The wound is
deeper and more gaping and the
damage inflicted may produce per
manent crippling if not amputa
tion. Commenting editorially on the
situation to which Dr. Brown has
so forcibly drawn attention, the
Journal of the American Medical
Association suggests that those
and horror shows ought to be
made to make their programs
more realistic by showing the dis
figurement, invalidism, laming,
blinding, coma, headaches, job
loss, economic costs and family
miseries that follow these TV
shiggings, shootings and related
acts of senseless violence.
For a copy of Dr. Hyman's i
leaflet "Understanding Mental Ill
ness," send 10 cents to Dr. Hy
man, care of Herald and News,
Box 489, Dept. B. Radio Cily Sta
tion. New York 19, N.Y.
There is a legend that Satan
decided to get rid of a number
of his tools, so he arranged an
auction. There were envy, deceit,
malice, sensuality, enmity,
thoughtlessness and many other
tools which Satan had tried suc
cessfully (priced very low). One
' piece, marked very high, was la
beled: Discouragement.
"Why do you want so much
for this tool?" asked one bidder.
"This tool," replied the old
tempter, "has always been my
most useful one. You can see it
has had more wear than the rest.
It is used as a wedge to get into
a man's mind when all other
' means fail. Practically every hu
man being has had this tool used
on him, although very few know
that I'm the one wielding it."
It is customary at the year's
end to review events and tot up
accounts. The economic value of
a man is no exception, as I see
it. Tha 1960 economic value
reaches $200,000 for an average
man. It ranges up to $350,000,
depending on his education. This
is before taxes.' A male baby
born in 1961 has a life expectancy
of 66.6 years, in which he will
. work about 41 years. His earn
ings as never before will be
gauged by his education. A high
school diploma will raise his val
ue $65,000 above a grade school
one, and a college degree will
bring him $169,000 more than the
grade school level.
Incidentally, the Census Bureau
reports that half of . the males
had high school education last
year, and that 10 per cent, in
the college age had completed
four years. Men are getting more
valuable all of the time.
Except as a husband and as
. a father. Any wife or teen
ager can tell you they're bums. .
Regardless of education.
Now. how about the women?
' An educated man has made a
survey of the expense of main
taining one. (Just where, he does
not say). Then he summed up all
the services an average home
maker performs, and figured
at the going rate of such serv
ices, that her value per year is
$6,505. This would bring her life
time economic value up to $246,
000. No comment.
When Alexander Graham Bell,
inventor of the telephone, wrote in
1878 that some day "wires will
unite different cities, and a man
in one part of the country may
communicate, by word of mouth
with another in a distant place,"
people thought he was insane.
Today we have 60 million tele
phones and an average of 148
million "word of mouth" com
munications every day.
Of all of the so-called "na
tional" magazines, U.S. News &
World Report and Business Week
are about the only reputable ones
left.' The rest are trash. (Yes,
I include Time, Life, Look, News
week, et al). It is unfortunate
that our high schools expose the
youngsters to them and too many
liberal minded teachers are anx
. ious to impress the kids with
the "validity" of the "news" that
appears in them. .
The wife was always antag
onized by her husband going out
at night. His departing words,
- which especially angered her,
were always, "Goodnight, moth
er of three." One night when
she could stand It no longer,
and when he put on his hat
and .started out the door, call
ing cheerily, "Goodnight, moth
er of three," she answered
quite cheerfully, "Goodnight,
father of one." Now he stays
home.
Nothing so brightens the day
of a newspaper worker as a re
quest for an article "that ap
peared either in his paper, or
some other paper, two or three
years ago, between January and
December."
.The power of suggestion (I hate
that word conformity) was never
more exemplified than in the case
of the army sergeant who was
passing out apricots in small pa
per dishes to the chow line". He
decided to experiment. He asked
the next few men as they came
by, "You don't want any apri
cots, do you?" and 90 per cent
said no.' Then he tried a more
positive approach: "You do want
apricots, don't you?" and approx- ,
imately 50 per cent answered yes.
The sergeant decided to test an
other well-known technique, and
started asking, "One dish of ap
ricots, or two?" And in spite of
the fact that soldiers dislike apri
cots. 40 per cent took two dishes,
and 50 per cent took one.
The Justice Department finds
that most people are not so smart
as they think they are. At
least, that would be the assump.
tion from the number of intelli
gent businessmen.; bankers, teach
ers, lawyers, doctors, and profes
sional people who fall victims to
swindlers every year. The depart-
ment has reason to believe Uiat
between $150 and $175 mUIion an
nually is dropped by these peo
pie to swindlers of various kinds.
A note of wisdom for the
youngster of today: Cato, the
old Roman, started to study
Greek when he was around 80.
when someone asked why he
was beginning so large a 'task
at such an advanced age, Cato
replied that "it la the youngest
age I hare left."
Stiflk arowuL