Quips and&Quotes
Narrow-Minded Man
Whenever my hu$land
Must shovel the sidewalk,
We always end up
With a one-shovel-wide walk.
Hal Chadwick
The solemn ceremonies for the inauguration of
the President of the United States on television
held the entire family's attention except for the
very active four-year-old who played uncon
cernedly in an adjoining room.
Then the band struck up 'The Star-Spangled
Banner." The youngster rushed into the living
room and took his place before the TV set.
"Gee," he explained, "I didn't know they were
going to start to play a ball game, too."
Frances Benson
Guess I'll Never Learn
Whenever I get a new outfit,
f pose before my mate
And ask if he has noticed anything
New about me of late.
Slowly he lowers his paper
And, inevitable as fate,
Mumbles, "llmmmm, since
you mentioned it,
Aren't you putting on weight?"
Smnnne Douglass
Where a lot oj men lose control of their car is
in front of a finance company. Al Spong
A successful executive had to take an unex
pected business trip which interfered with his
wife's plans for their wedding anniversary. "Don't
worry," the businessman said. "If I can't get home
in time, I'll send you something to prove my love."
When he found he would be unable to return,
he wired his wife that he had splurged and bought
her two expensive presents that she would never
think of buying for herself a Mercedes-Benz and
a Picasso. Later he telephoned her to ask if they
had arrived.
"One did," the wife said sadly.
"Which one?"
"Who knows?" the wife sighed.
Dan Bennett
A Texan was playing poker with a Briton, and
the Briton drew a good card. "One pound," he said.
" don't know how you-all count your money,"
the Texan grumbled, "but I raise you a ton."
INTERN
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