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10
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(Continued)
"He won't lift a finger
around the house, yet messes
it up as soon as I clean."
Husbands who never or only grudg
ingly help with the home chores come
in for some hard raps. A woman in Or
lando, Fla., told a marriage clinic how
she cured her husband of this type of
goofing off.
"We have four young children," she
reported, "and I was hanging on the
ropes. He had this old-fashioned idea
that Father sits in his easy chair while
Mother does all the work. Finally, I
just put the baby in his arms and walked
out. I stayed at Mother's two whole days.
Since then, there's been no trouble."
Few men can understand the pride
women take in their housekeeping.
Therefore, the husband who carelessly
streaks a newly vacuumed rug or tracks
up a just-waxed kitchen floor isn't apt
to win any popularity contests at home,
particularly if he does so constantly.
"He listens to his mother and
sister but to me, Oh no!"
Immature husbands are strongly in
fluenced by Mom and Sis, and wife grits
her teeth in rage when this happens.
The food Mother cooked was better, sis
ters have smarter ideas about decorat
ing, Ma's advice about the vacation plans
is taken instead of the wife's. Dr. Phillip
Polatin, clinical professor of psychiatry
at the College of Physicians and Sur
geans, Columbia University, says that in
these cases there is "usually a strong
tie, never outgrown, to one or more
members of the family, who represent
the more satisfying relationships of
childhood." To men like this: Grow upl
Many "unromantic" husbands live
their lives as if they were still bachelors
with weekly bowling sessions, fishing
trips, poker, and just too many "nights-out-with-the-boys."
Occasional nights
off are fine, but the man who insists on
too much freedom is failing in his mar
riage. He may end up having all the
freedom he wants and finding it's not
so wonderful after all.
"He's impossible with
the kids!"
A machinist's wife comments: "If he's
calm, the kids can get away with mur
der. If he's worried, he gets tougher. If
he's really upset, he flails away at them."
Obviously, a wrong approach, child au
thorities agree. Treat the children fairly
but firmly, they advise, regardless of
one's nervous system at the time.
Another fault is overruling the wife's
decisions. Johnny asks Mom for permis
sion to stay out until 10, gets turned
down. Dad interjects with, "Oh, let the
kid go." Johnny soon learns how to play
one against the other.
There are dozens of small decisions
to be made every evening as far as chil
dren are concerned, and double the
number on week ends. Fathers who
either don't want to be bothered or won't
Family Wetkly. January 24. IMO
take the responsibilty are prone to an
swer all queries with "Go ask your
mother." And Mother objects. If a re
quest is directed your way, give it a
straight answer.
"He won't talk to me about
business."
This is a time-honored plaint but still
a frequent one. Allied to this is the re
fusal of many men to let their wives
assist in some phase of their work. Busi
ness experts point out, however, that
the ladies can be mighty helpful with
some time-consuming aspects of a job.
For instance, an insurance man's wife
can mail out reminders and anniversary
greetings, a salesman's wife help keep
accounts, a lawyer's wife do occasional
research. And don't underestimate the
little woman's knowledge of business
modern education and working experi
ence make today's woman a wise one.
"My husband isn't romantic
any more!"
Nine little words crop up often in the
casebooks of the marital experts, much
sadder than the three little ones of
courtship days. These are, "He never
tells me he loves me any more." Typical
was the story of the attractive woman,
wed 14 years, who told Dr. Ellis: "I
don't expect flowers every evening and
a 'big date.' But never hearing a word
from him that tells me I'm still desirable
as a woman is a shriveling thing."
Says Dr. Evelyn Millis Duvall, a noted
sociologist: "Giving little gifts, casting
affectionate glances, saying 'I love you,'
can not only keep this marriage alive
but deep love as well."
Under romantic complaints also comes
untidiness the husband who looks like
a tramp. A long-suffering wife told a
university researcher: "Before we were
married, I never saw him unless he had
a fresh haircut and wore a newly pressed
suit. Now he comes home and in two sec
onds transforms himself into the old
style Marlon Brando, torn tee-shirt and
all. On week ends, he embarrasses me
terribly. He never shaves or dresses, no
matter who comes to visit."
Remember, gentlemen, you can dress
informally without looking "beat."
And that's the lot the 10 little ways
to lose a wife. Reverse them and they
become 10 big rules for a happy, suc
cessful marriage.