IIKRAU AND NEWS, KLAMATH KAt.LS, ORKGON
THURSDAY. DMCKMIlKIt HI, 11151
PAGE FOUR
FRANK JENKINS
' Editor .
Entered H second class matter at tha post office of Klamath Falls, Ore,
on August 30, 1904, under act of congress, March S, Hit
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NEW YORK, UV-Are your dinner
Invitations falling off?
Don't people ask you to their
parties anymore? Ma be lis be
cause you need to brush uo on
your rconteur-lng. Your twice-told
talcs have gone the rounds too
oiten.
So today we offer you free two
of Uie best stories we've heard
lately, and you're welcome to them.
(If you've already heard them
don't write and tell us they're old.
- Everything is getting older these
days.) t .
The first concerns the army colo
nel's wife, stationed in the Philip
pines In the years before the last
war. She had the kind of cook
women dream of a Chinese named
Mr. Ling, who could dish up a
dream meal for one unexpected
guest, or a dosen, on quick notice.
One evening, however, she was
having a dinner party for 20 people,
including a bishop.
"This has to be something really
special," she told Mr. Ling that
morning, and explained that the
ecclesiastical guest was quite dis
tinguished. The Chinese cook
seemed deeply Impressed.
That night he served uo a splen
did meal. As the guests leaned
back, relaxing from the tremen
dous repast, in strode Mr. Ling
carrying a huge and glittering
cake. Beaming, he placed it on
the table before the hostess.
She and the bishop both leaned
over to resd some flowery lettering
that Mr. Ling had inscribed with
icing atop the cake. It said:
"Hooray for Jesus!"
The second story is raising
laughter in United Nations circles
here. It concerns a mythical future i
ABCs
WASHINGTON, Ut Maybe It's
because he's rich and doesn't need
the Job and so feels free to speak
as he pleases. Or maybe he's just
, new to the ways of Washington,
or just an unusual man anyway.
But Frank McKinney. the Demo
crats' new political field general,
is developing the habit of putting
the pronoun "I" ahead of the Pres
ident when he makes a speech
or talks to reporters.
This 46-year-old Irishman, an In
dianapolis banker, was chosen last
October as new chairman of the
Democratic national committee
which has the job of trying to
get the Democrats re-elected next
year.
He couldn't have had the job
without the blessing of Pres. Tru
man who is still boss of the Demo
crats, with McKinney now his No.
1 right-hand man in politics.
Anyone m McKlnney's job. of
course, is going to have his bands
full and his job isn't made easier
by the scandals which have been
coming to light in Truman s ad
ministration. ..
HOISECLEANING
It's generally acknowledged the
Trum suites will have to do some
cleaning before election time. Mc
Kinney publicly stated his aware
ness of the problem in a speech
late in November.
He said then "any man who be
trays the people's trust in public
office is a public enemy-" He prom
ised "no malefactor in public of
fice shall go unpunished."
And then he added: "I am ready
to help and, what Is more Impor
tant, Harry S. Truman is ready to
help."
The fact that In this revelation
Fbout the administration's inten
tions be put the letter "I" ahead
of the President may have been
due entirely to his particular style
in composition. And too, he tem
pered it by noting that Truman's
attitude was more Important.
But Tuesday, with the tax scan
dals getting more unpleasant by
In this time of trial for the free
nations, the courage and vision of
a small band of men has supplied
the driving power behind great
projects conceived for the security
and well-being . of liberty-loving
peoples.
Yet over many of these projects
hangs an air of unreality. The
European defense army, revived
German military units, the Schu
man plan for the pooling of Euro
pean coat ana sieei output, me
Dolltlcsl federation of the conti.
nent, are at varied distances from
their goal of completion. Even the
brilliant - economic recovery at
tained under the Marshall Plan is
beginning to appear a temporary
ining.
To say "these things take time"
is not a sufficient answer. No sen
sible individual minimizes the over
whelming complexities of today's
foreign affairs. Progress In any
age is beset by obstacles, -and
somehow they seem bigger and
more plentiful In this nostwar era.
But It isn't the hazards alone that
account for the present un
certainties.
A fog of defeatist Inertia clouds
the minds of many men, Including
some in high places. They appear
fascinated by their difficulties.
Their mental energy is devoted to
elaborate arguments why things
cannot or snouia not oe done.
Most of those who feel thus
bound against a course of real ac
tion happen to be Europeans. That
Is partly accidental, for Europe at
the same time has produced some
of the most resourceful leaders the
free world can boast. Prime Min
ister Pleven and Foreign Minister
Schuman of France have particu
larly distinguished themcelves with
imaginative proposals for strength
ening the West.
But the heavy concentration of
defeatists In Europe alto derives
partly from the continent's long
BILL JENKINS
Managing Editor
meeting of "The Big Three" Tru
man, Stalin and Churchill.
The trio of world leaders were
quarreling bitterly about the prob
lems of East and West when sud
denly a beautiful little fairy ap
peared in the conference room. She
wore a trailing gown of white and
had a twinkling star on her fore
head Waving her small wand, she said
gently:
"Gentlemen, gentlemen, please
do not use any more harsh words.
I can help you out of your diffi
culties. Each of you make a wish,
and if I grant it perhaps that will
solve your problems."
First, she asked Truman his
wish.
"I want you to take the biggest
H-bomb that can be built, set it
down iu the heart of Russia, and
exulode It," he said. "That'll be
a big help."
Turning to Stalin, the fairy said:
"And your wish?'"
"I'd like you to raise the great
est tidal wave in history," he said.
and send it clear across the Unit
ed States, and wash every Ameri
can into the sea. You'll see how
quickly peace will follow."
The little tairy signed, ana turned
to Churchill, and said: "And your
request?
"Oh. just give me a long cigar
and a double brandy and soda."
he said cheerfully.
'That U be quite easy." said the
little fairy, brightening. "I can do
that right away."
no hurry, no flurry, replied
Churchill, waving his hand airily.
"Serve the other two gentlemen
first!"
the hour, McKinney went to see
the President in the White House.
It's usual when one of Truman's
lieutenants confers with him if
they've agreed on some Important
decision for the caller to keep
quiet so the president can make
the announcement in his own way.
This reluctance of White House
callers to discuss what "I said to
the President and what he said
to me" always allows the Presi
dent u no one knows wnat was
talked about to change his mind
privately.
But when McKinney came out of
the White House he was surround
ed by reporters.
STEAMED t'P
It may be that he was unaware
of the White House custom just
mentioned or that he was just too
steamed up by the developing scan
dals to keep his lip buttoned.
He promptly told newsmen he
had advised Truman that he could
not overemphasize the importance
of "drastic action in the imme
diate future without delay. I'm in
clined to think there will be ac
tion soon."
Perhaps it was planned that way.
Perhaps the President told McKin
ney to go ahead and tell the world
the White House was going to low
er the boom
It's possible, too. that it didn't
happen that way and that Truman
doesn't appreciate McKlnney's tell
ing reporters he, McKinney, had
told the President what to do or
even that the President intended
doing anything.
If Truman doesn't start a fast
clean-up he'll be embarrassed since
his own master-politician already
has told the world he told the presi
dent a clean-up Is necessary.
McKinney, of course, did not in
any way try to give an impres
sion that Truman didn't know the
situation. He said the President is
very much aware of It.
Still it might be fun listening in
on the conversation the next time
the two men get together.
history of war and troubled bor-
ders.
Europeans who dwell upon the
obstacles before them believe this
is a sign of their political wisdom
and maturity. They style them
selves the only true "realists."
The rest of us, especially the
brash young Americans, are nov
ices who do not understand the
world.
The!" men are mors weary than
they realize. They have lost the
resilience needed to cope with
modern life. They are evidently
content to be mastered by their
problems, rather than bent upon
establishing mastery over them. If
this Is maturity, then maturity
must be equated with virtual stag
nation. What the free world needs Is
none of this maturity but more
Schumans. Flevens, Eisenhowers,
and the like. Men who recognize
that defeat cannot be counte
nanced, who believe thati problems
can be solved, who are willing and
eager to turn their minds boldly
and Inventively to the making of
positive solutions.
We have seen enough of the
sterile spirit of resignation. The
man of flabby will, of timid pur
pose, of easy alarm is not the
free world's symbol. Nor should he
be Its guide and counsellor. On the
speed with which he Is thrust off
the stage may depend the West's
salvation in the fight against Rus
sian tyranny.
World'i record for the most rain.
fall In a single day is believed to
belong to Baguio, Philippine Is
lands, with 46.99 Inches.
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' Itfrfly A - ' I 6CTS 6CWE CHUMP i X (4j
ISW
littV V Js.J I r r few, m ng ruinin tisn. ait, u. oilp iarMnai- lj-Ljpaa
A psychiatrist, recently address
ing the American Academy of Den
tal Medicine, told the assembled
dentists that there is a close re
lationship between emotional dis
orders and disorders of the mouth.
He told them to be on the look
out for talkative patients because
a talkative patient is a patient witli
anxieties. Then he went on to say
that a dentist, understanding this
talkativeness, should be able to tell
the ditierence between real
and
Imaginary tooth miseries.
Under ordinary circumstances,
the average laymen shouldn't tan
gle with the erudite opinions of the
head men, but it so happened that
when I read this item I was nurs
ing a swollen jaw. bruised Up and
was rinsUig with salt and hot water
every hour.
I can onlv conclude that this DAT- i
ticularly psychiatrist never hos :
been
torn between a joust .with
drill or forceps and living on with
an aching molar. Or maybe he's
one of tnose rare birds who does
not object to noises like chalk
scraping on a blackboard or the
clatter of a drill operated in an
area that feels like the center of
the head.
There's no denying the psychia
trist's thesis that dentists should
be on the lookout for talkative pa
tients. And he s sure right when
he says that a talkative patient is
a person suffering from anxieties.
Speaking as an extremely talka
tive patient. I would say that most
of these anxieties are concerned
entirely with what's going to hap
pen while the patient is seated in
the dentist's chair.
Personally, I start a sort of nerv
ous babbling a good 24 hours be
fore the arrival of the fatal mo
ment when the dentist comes at
me with a handful of Instruments
and his assistant starts wheeling
up the portable X-ray machine for
the check-up.
I'm full of anxiety and as a
consequence, talking to keep my
courage up when I show uo to
have my teeth cleaned and checked
on. After all. I figure, there's al
ways a chance he's going to find
something. And I keep right on
talking when my mouth Is stuffed
Saying "Thanks" Is Big
Job For Fafher of Family
By WALLACE MYERS
Norman Chase Just can't do it;
he's tried and tried but the Job is
Just too tough. . .
Chase has been trying to get
words down on paper that will con
vey the gratitude he and his family
feel toward a lot of good people.
Chase and his wife. Madge, have
seven children ranging in age from
nve momns to nine years, just
before Thanksgiving the Chases
made .a down payment on a new
home and bought quite a lot of new
lurnisnings.
The Chases were all in bed
asleep when the fire broke out in
their home late in the nlghl of De-
cemoer -. ine little nome was a
mass of flame in a matter of
minutes and the family barely es
caped. In saving five-months-old
Tommy, Mrs. Chase broke through
a window, severing a tendon in her
leg and gashing her back. ,
Practically everything in the
house was lost: the Chases sal
vaged little more than the night
ciotnes tney escaped in.
ine following morning was a
NEW YORK. IPi Is father the
problem child on your Christmas
snooping nst7 II you're hunting
for something to startle him out ol
his slippers on Christmas morning,
businessmen will be quite happy
to help you with some new ideas.
Even neckties pleated ones, lor
example.
You can also startle him again
when the bills come in after New
Year's. The best quality and fan
ciest merchandising bears notably
high price tags this year. Example:
a (48 shirt Imported from austere
Britain.
Businessmen have some striking
things for mother this year, too.
Such things as painted and bejew
elled stockings, and shirred and
boned cummerbunds for nipped
waists. And the Jewelry Industry
council says yellow sapphires are
for brunettes, aquamarines for
blondes, while certain women
should wear no Jewels but emer
alds. If merchants have their way,
next year is going to see a much
more colorful, expensive and alto
gether astounding world. '
GYRATING MATTRESS
To get back to dad and his New
Year's financial shock, you might
consider getting him a gyrating
mattress. Denver has known about
this for two years, but this Christ
mastime the mattress is being
pushed In the East. An undulating
mechanism Is built Into the mat
tress. It is designed to sooth dad's
Inflation-wracked nerves and . lull
him to sleep.
Time
with all the uncomfortable and
frightening instruments of the pro
fession. I shut up and relax only
when mv dentist pushes back his
glasses and assures me I'm In top
chewing form for another four
months.
Let me assure this psychiatrist
and -all the demists who heard him
that I've spent a lifetime query
ing friends and associates on their
emotional responses to a dentist's
appointment, atid 1 ve found only
four people who didn't dread it like
I do. All four of them confessed
they'd never had a oavity.
Furthermore, this psychiatrist
would have you believe that many
of us talky patients go around ima
Dining we have tooth troubles. I
I just can't believe this
Parcnnollv
T oan imiam t,,,n n.rc. fn.
a good long time, and even then
,auestlonrd sternlv bv mv demist
will minimise the trouble. On many
an occasion, my tongue has found
an obvious cmvlty and I've kept
my guilty knowledge from mv den
tist. I told myself I was testing
his skill at finding the trouble. He
always passes the test, however,
and novocaine follows.
In an effort to prepare myself
for the ordeal of the dentist's chair,
I have developed two pre-dental-appointment
tests which I adminis
ter secretly. The first is the candy
test. In this I chew a chocolate
bar. utilizing every tooth In the
process. If no discomfort results.
I figure chances are pretty good
that all I'll run Into is a cleaning
job. Then I follow this up by the
toughest test, the dill pickle test.
This is done the same way, with
stronger, more disturbing material.
If I can chow dill Dickie without
untoward results. I breeze into the
dentist's office relaxed and almost
silent.
If they'd Just get ahead and In
vent some nice, quiet and non
painful replacements for the ham
mers, picks, air blowers and
above all the drills that get
stuffed into the mouth, most of the
anxieties which turn us patients
into chatterboxes would disappear
as If by magic.
bleak one for Chase, with his wife
in the hospital, neighbors caring
lor the seven small children and
the new home and furnishings lost.
Then things started to happen as
news oi ine disaster got around
The Eighth Street Gang pitched
in and prowled clothing and food
the Red Cross made an on-the-
scene investigation of needs and
made a sizable contribution: sever
al people kicked In with donations
oi money, nousenoid goods and
clothing.
In the meantime, neighbors .and
friends took care of the seven
youngsters and made other contri
butions. Now the Chases are established
In another house and things arc
getting back on an even keel.
The Chases are deenlv flrrateful
to everyone, but Norman, the hus
band and father. Just can t get It
all down on paper.
He wants to say: "Thanks folks
. . .You've been wonderful and a
Merry Christmas to you all from
the Chases."
Or you can buy him a pure sil'-.
suit, as originally spun by the wilt
silk worm of Tibet. Sales were rc
ported good last summer, consid
ering the price, and merchants
think they ought to appeal Just now
to the woman shopper seeking to
Improve the style of her husband.
To do a complete Job of that
there's an entirely new outllt, too,
built around the latest "new sil
houette" for men, as shown for the
first time at the National Outer
wear and Sportswear Assoc. lunch
eon recently. Designers often long
for a "new silhouette" for the mas
culine figure, but this particular
one is based on the natural shoul
der. ....
OVERHAUL
This, says the designer (a trade
paper editor, not a tailor) makes
obsolete every other part of the
male outfit he contends. The unpad
ded shoulder coat can't be worn
with anything but a narrow-brim
hat. (
You must hive a smaller shaped
collar to match the shoulders. Your
old topcoat won't" look right over
the new shoulder. And even your
old shoes will have to be stream
lined. And the neckties have to be nar
rower. But don't worry. The old
Christmas standby .Is out In every
shape. Fifty different styles, says
the men's lie foundation, and 5U,
000 different patterns. Also, as you
might have guessed, 100,000 dlllcr
ent color combinations,
,W',U -"."-H'V, ''! ,( . I1 ' ,h i..:m
By Jimmy Ilatlo
Idaho Timber
Supply Great
BOISE. 1.4'v Idaho hoa rnourti
timber to last for 100 years at the
present rule of production. Roy
Hoi (man. aasistnm general manu-
ger of Potlntch Forests Inc., Lew
iston. told the nll-Iilnlw congress at
Its closing session here. I
liullman said Idaho has an call
nutted 85 billion board feet of
timber, while the annual produc
tion rute Is 85 million board frrt. I
However, he said pole bHiiht and
bltslcr rust are increasing and i
threatening white pine In Northern
Idaho.
"If the paper industry Is to ex-
pand," Huffman said. "Idaho must ,
have belter freight rates to com-!
pete wlih qher producers on even j
terms."
J. G. Miller, Pocalello, resident
munager of the Westvaco division
of the Food Machinery Corp.. told i
the congress Idaho has enough po-1
irmiai power tor ncvriupmcm vi m
vast chemical Industry.
"Your main problem Is to hold
on to this power potential on the
Snake River. If it is developed by
the federal government and trans
ferred by Bonneville power admini
stration, Idaho can kiss It good
bye." he said.
Olympic, Buys
Premium Barley
The Olympla Brewing Co. of
Olympla, Wash., recently bought a
spcclRl lot of 250 tons of Klamath-
grown malting barley, paying til
ton over the market price, Carl
Steinselfer. local Olympla distribu
tor reports.
A spokesman for Uie brewing con
cern termed the grain "the most
beautiful barley, that we have) ever
seen."
When Only the Finest ; Is Fine Enough
Say Seagram's and be Sxxxc of the Finest
f
Seagram's 7 Crown.
Vstf, f M Kit
YVA H
New Computer
Machine Is
Fast Thinker
PHILADELPHIA. (. A new
computing niuiiuno which tlunta
JO. (XX) iinies a seconil was an
nounced today at the American
Institute nf Electrical Kmilnerrs
and InMlluto ol Hudlu buulnceis
Joint ineeiiiiii.
Thinking means tliul Huh ma.
chine can receive, icinennu r and
deliver a result on a digit at the
rlittoM Inconceivable rate n '.M.OOO
e second.
Tills speed makes It the first
virtually instantaneous compiiuim
machine. It can fluure uud deliver
iiistrut-ltitns at an airport for fllittit
of hundreds ol planes wnu n mi'im
bo approaching the alrlirUI. The
machine would plot a sale course
for each, that Is lo keep them
from getting acramblcd.
The muclilne Is named Whirlwind
I. It was developed at the Mas
soclunclls Inslltule of Technology'!
dlKilul commuer laboratory In con
junction Willi ine oince oi iiuvai
research It Is in ui at Ihe In
slltule The report was niaile by
Robert R. Evereit, associate direc
tor, and Nuriuan II. Timor, in
charge of electronic development
The memory system Is elec
tronic. The memory Is electrostatic
charges In storatie tubes. An elec
tion beam flashes across Hie sur
face of the lube, which Is electri
cally charged. Th beam leaves an
electrical spot on Ihe tube. The
spot represents a digit, a single
number. Another beam Hushes re
peatedly over tills spot, lo keep It
eleeirlcallv alive.
When ihe machine gets ready to
remember thu digit, all electron
beam sweeps over tho sMil, wipes
J It oil, and conveys II away In the
lorm oi an cicviruni imiiinni-
When the machine gels ready to
remember this digit, an electron
beam sweeps over Hie spot, wipes
It oil. and conveys It away In the
lorm of an electrical Impulse.
The machine already has liuurcd
the assignment ot proiwsed ultra-high-frequency
television ciianiieL.
to cities throughout Ihe Uiillcd
States.
It has started on the oil busi
ness to figure oui utc mo. i eu
cienl processes lor pumping petro
leum from the ground.
It has military, sclenllllc, engi
neering and Industrial uses.
Device Spots
Damp Veneer
OLYMPIA. if! - Plywood Indus-1
try men are Intrigued hero by a 1
gadget lor spotting excess moisture 1
In veneer. I
The electronic device automata
cally reect-s heels which would
ultimately spoil the finished ply
wood. The St. Paul and Tacoma l um
ber Co. demonstrated It to produc
tion men ol 72 West coast plants
The "sentry" was develoed by
the Industry's research foundation.
Two men Harold Kviins and J. E
Dallas have worked on it since
1947.
The "Electric Brain" of the de
vice Is In a metal rase. Electro
probers spot the potentially dun
gerous moisture as the sheets pass
aiong the production line. I
T r , I
mm
i'f
Blended Whiskey. 86.8 Proof. 65
WHEN SANTA CLAUS went to tho bloodmoliile this ktek
to niiike his prfChrlsliiMs present to the flt;htln(! nvoa'lu
Korea, ho wns rejected beenuso of high hlootl prci-siiio
(it's that Kindling aliont from the north pole to this plmo
and thu other that caused it, no doubt) but he. got his pic
ture taken just tho same. Jinny Lynn Donk. daughter of
Mr. ami Mrs. Robert Doak of Chiloqtiin, applied n stethe
scope to seo what was the matter with the old boy. Looking
on were Mary Frances Connolly of Portland, tliief nurse,
and Don Kellslrom, son of Mr. and Mrs. I.ylo Kellslrom,
544 Conger.
Order Aimed
At Flushing
Out Junkers
SAN FRANCISCO. iJ"-.TIioe au
tomobile relics rusting III wiecklug
yards everywhere soon will disap-
lcr 111 u,e "cienso eitort caldron-
An order Issued by the national
production authority Is expected lo
Hush about 4.000.000 of these Ja-
loiiles thai about 5.000.000 tons
ol scrap Iron from tho yards in
the next three mouths
Hie order was announced here
by John J. Judge, regional direc
tor of Uie dcpaitmenl of com
merce. 11 requires an Inventory from
all wreckers by December SO.
Wreckers are prohibited from ac
cepting delivery of any wreck in
the three months starling March
I, next and the first day of each
June, September, December and
March thereafter Unless In the
preceding three-muntli period Uiey
havo disposed of all automobiles I
n this warm hearted season
when expressions of friendship
arc in order we would like to say
a sincere "thank you" to our many
millions of friends throughout the
United States.
Thank you for your patronage
which has made Seagram's 7 Crown
the favorite whiskey in America.
Thank you for agreeing with us
that only the finest is fine enough
for vou and vour friends.
IT
' '
Grain Neutral Spirits. Seagram-Distillers
manufactured prior to lIHii
It is estimated there are about
7 00O 0O0 cats In wrecker yards. In
cluding Blxiiit 4.O00.000 ol vintages
: prior to llMti.
'Ihere may be over a billion star
r.vtlrut In rltMrnre, suine ut Ihem
ilil-Tger than the Milkv Way system
Kith Id many billion suns
Rrautlful New Htork Lealhrr
llrlrf ( , . . tVallrla . . .
Valfht's I'lonrer Offlra Supply Co.
Main.
ICN.T' ' i
41 IV)"
c
Corporation, N.Y.
idSSSi ;