Page Thio THE. EVENING HERALD, KLAMATH FALLS, OREGON ratmMAT.AlfVMNgMtot - i 'fi V f BamMaM . - .bb The Office Cat IIV JUNIUS IIiiMmt Hliiii "Vli)" Why dor u haircut nlwnys (out I bo sahio no mutter Imw much hnlr you have? Why rtiu'd n barber ulwiiys uak you It you shnvn youraoUT f Why !h no Imrlitir over satisfied with tho weather Why does no burlier ever have a fj)od word fur tlm lint follow that cut your hnlr? Why ilncn n Imrliur always try to porsuado you to huy out tho ahop when ll you want l a ehavat Why dooa a barber, when drying your face, nlwuyn overlook that lit- tin corner of your carT Why doi4 your nono nlwaya ho In to tlckln Just as noon your hands 'are lucked uudor tho cow ing! Why I ttin foot rout on the ahlno-a'tajid alwnya too mall tor your feet? Why doiM the nlillni hoy alwaye bate a Vigorous argument, with the other alilnu hoy right In tho mid din of polishing yuur shoest AM) Why 'la tho best-looking maul, euro ilrl alwaya working dowu t the other end of the room? 0, H. K. In Life Dr. h, I). (leas aaya year ago, the teat o( aktll was tho ability to remove an appendix, now the teat,' la to adjuai a rurburetar. i Another reason why n chicken crosses the atrret la because ah ae a ehp over there who may buy her a Coco Cola. At any rle, modern sklila makn far freedom of the high sera, "A telephone pole never hlta an automobile In self-defense," para rapha the Toledo lllude. Possibly not, but considering the erratic, tendencies of lonw of the drivers you manaRA to avoid, rould you blame them If Ihey did." There la olwnya one HiIiir that baa to wait for a woman. Yoti Ruened It rlRht the flral time. It la ber huaband. IS, T, t.udden anya many folka like to poke tun at thq man with No. 11 foot, hul'moal Roncrally ho doean'l auffer from coma. After hia feet Ret that hi, ho Kota hla ahoea 'large ciioURh, A alia orMwo doean't 'mnkn any dlffvronco to him. 1AV r, Til Klnmalli lalU Vamp, Ha Thero'a never .i cloned acaaon for booba. . HoimI Mo, Hny Vt'o ' (UldoRraphed on Mnlu atreel.) , Dorethy: "Motlior, why cun't they mako dlahea llko they do Iroj cream coiioa, ao thut you run cat ' Look What They're Doing Now! fc iaaw aRaRaa BBBBBBBaRaRaV .4 iv ' r aaaRaV' BaaaaaaLV " Writ 1 W .VVIfcr BBBaKVVvlBTVjBBBBBH ? laT '4-A'MPF':i.Jail'jll':'iaaaaaB - At 'Ai si'-2P,JPUor BMaTu9RaT saBBRaRaal Vv?j:" omWC ' its-Mr ' ' .3aW ' JB?WMK JaaaaRaW .W aV i!', Vjkiif!RCTaaRB X sP j.K.ala i:1S SaiaBBaR4RV- &&( iiial SEf v?v MliHiBBH Ef' sttMlliSI 'r1mmTm TrnnfnTcTtTTmTianSnn. Thla rut End beauty them when you nrn through (ho meal? Then wn wouldn't liar to wnnti tlm dishes." Wouldn't II? It would to nl'co' If wn could, buy Our Hiimmor Icn In wln(er time, Hliing Agitlu "Why didn't you urrest thut motorist? llo wiin Kelni: On mlton mi hour." "llo mild Ilia Iioiiho wait tiflre," roillil t lio vIIIuko constable, "Oh, that's different." "Hut I didn't recollect (III tit il ii r nod cutflsh waa out of sight Ihiil ho doesn't live hero," , Very fre'iuently rich purents mnkii poor parents, upliirn C. W, Kberlelu, Home people seem to Ret alona very well without hundn or fool, but wn don't undurntand how ao many arn abln to cot nloiiR with out liralna. illin6is c. of c. plans practical aid to business CIIICACJO, Jan. 19. -Tho llllnola Chamber of Commerce has undertake im to do on n stain wide scalu what local chnmbera of rnmmerrn have been attempting to do for each Indiv idual locality, that of supplying fact, and figures to prnspectlvii new bjisl. neaea rontemplatlnii lornllon within thn ataln, nrrordlnR to an announce. ment madn here today by Harvey T Hill, aucrutury of thn Mutn orgnnltn Hon. Mr; Hill ray,) Hint tho Htntn Cham- her of Comm'erru also hopea throuRh thla movement to keep rltlea from lieeomlnR lopsided from a buslnca; atandiKilut and to assist In brliiRlnr lamo of the rltlea that urn I ready In thla condition buck to normal, llr cites aa a Reed Illustration of thli thn coal Held of Southern Illinois where cllle, of 20,000 cuu Im found with coal minion an tho only Indua try. "WJiat huppena when thn ml lien abut down?" Mr Hilt asks, "The en. lire population la Idle," ho unnwera "Wn will attempt to give Ml In formation to business enterpriser und rltlct ao that the Industries may be dlvoralflvd throuRh the analyitnp of condition that eslst or Rive pros pect of existing at tome future time," he anld. OREGON BASKETBALL TEAM IS LIGHTEST ON PACIFIC COAST UL'ttlCNK. Jan. 19- t'niveraliy ol Oregon, undefeated basketball champlona In the Northweat Confer encit laal aeaaon, will enter I92S mm petition with what la believed to br the llRhteit and amalluat colleRK team on tho coaat and one on which alight hopea are placed. (lreatly weakened by tho Inia of tho Incomparable Kddlo Durno. tiny forward wtioaa work won him all coaat and all-nofthwrat plai-emcnta for threu eeaanna, and Nlali Chnpman tar Kuard, tho lemru-yellnw quintet wilt build on Its favorable ao!-elulr thla year for 1923, according to Coach Ocorge M. Uohlor. The Oregon achedule Inrtndra 20 conterenro Ranges. The exceptional number of Ratriea to be played offerr un opportunity, thlnka Ooarli llohlcr to ahlft hla llnoup many llmoi and It la probable that between li mul 15 men will make their IctMra In the oaion. I M"'T MWWMWMMWWWMWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWMWW Outbursts of Everett True By Condon )wWMWWWMWVWVMWWMWWWWMWWWVWWVWWWMWVMW U I..' I 1-1.4 1.1 I l i nn i , iinw V1II aVtllZfY Mf?A. TO FIX An MOTOR Ullh A ' fmun.9 (urn Cii taut ..i-t-u M5T- 1 NOW U3-'T& tQS tvHAT HAPPef5 fI t4IUL?y IT (?OMO'! INtn i- . ,l- CONTACT IVITH IVOR. . Itcgular, .from lntt yca.'a sqund will not be avallabln until tho rilurn of thn 'varsity from Hawaii .with "Hunk" Latham, rangy center of laul year's aquad, Hill Itelntiart, r.unrd, and Hal Clupmnuii, who Is expected oven to surpass his brother Nlrf.i at gutiril. In games played during; tho.nollday 'laruitormlne trip thn coach ma le several finds among last year's fresh men and second stringers, Hut one letter man, Mark Latham, made tivj trip. llurnett, who haa been on the squad, haa Improved and developed Into a shifty man at guard. Don Zim merman, third year man, will a ho play nt center. Other available ni'in aro Coach, Heaver. McMillan, lto:k iey, Alstock and Ooar. Mam TAHjkn Wipe Out Illiteracy HAN KltANCISCO. Jan 19. Btcps Intended to wipe out tho "black pota" of Illiteracy In thn Pacific Coast and Ifocky Mountain : states will be discussed at a conference to bu held here Kobruary 3 and 4. Delegates from educational, politi cal, social and civic Interests of clov en western ataten are expected to at tend. The conference Is to bo held under tho nusplcca of the Illiteracy commission of the United Slates. Illiteracy can bo reduced by a ays tomatlc campaign of education, ac cording to Arthur If. Chamberlln, iccrclary of tho conference commit tee, "Contrary to popular belief, largo numbers of Illiterates aro not foreign born," Mr. Chamberlln aald. "Many native Americana havo escaped the educational advantage, offered and, although they apparently apeak and conduct themselves Intelligently, they cannot read or write. In California Meno appoxlmatoly 3.3 per cent of tho total population la Illiterate." Anionic tho speakers at tho confer once will bo president David 1- liar rows of tho University of California and Will C. Wood, statu superintend ent of education. END OF JAZZ DANCE AND FOX TROT SAID TO BE APPROACHING CHTcAOO. Jan. 19 "Tho'JnH"" la slowly but surely Rotng Into the discard, according to a statement Issuod hero by Kenton Ultf. of 'Pay ton, Ohio, director of danco reform of tho American National associa tion,, masters of dsnclng'. J 4 "The Tox trot' Is tho dance that rocolYo the moat abuso by the dancor," said the statement, "and It la tho 'fox trot' musc as.'wrtlten und played In Jf-" fashion, that causes tho s dancer to abua'e ' thla popular dance." ' There la nothing wrong with the 'fox trot' or the stops In the 'fox trot,' but It Is a concoded fact among all teachera of , dancing that the oriental sug- Kostlvoncsn and broken time in the tox trot Jats music, together with the lack of sufficient supervision, la responsible for the downward trend ot the' dnce. "The American National, asso ciation ot Mastora ot Dancing be- gaiTJ v6 "em ''ago to work for cleaner dancing. Hundreds of wel fare association?,,. thouiandT of edl- lege deans, police women every where, end. finally tho public dance wik ....lil-l..'.. .'. 11.1.4 l 11.V nan yrviiriatvia tisivu ih vmv work with ui. We ll feel' and bopi that Utt oreit et tb wv ot tl dlUHstlNf WtllllHl 'Jill' Ml LIllAl' l.,Llf ., nil" vvrw-ii wnPf LIC UiUirtJ Vnn Tr?i -rn . HWftPlN? , t - HrtlAJ 1 HAW boon reached, and reports to us from ovory part.pt tho country .j lififitv '1nnn r4astlnsV artlsiBflatBi Im. Ing started everywhere. 'All exaggerated movements, es pecially of tho upper parts ot the body, aro In very bad tasto In social dancing, and aro nevor found with Iruo refinement and culture." Six don'la aro given In tho statement. They are: j 'Don't permit vulgar Jatz to be played. "Don't permit young men to hold their partnera tightly. J "Don't permit partners to danco with cheoks close or touching. "Don't permit 'nock holds.' "So-called 'shimmy' or 'toddloV dancing should, not bo tolerated. Don't permit dancers to take mp MTrnntlimlti. Innr n ilinpl either exceptionally long or abort ateps." No Automobiles in 3 Kentucky Counties KltANKFOIlT. Ky.. Jan. 19. ' Thrco Kentucky counties contained! no automobiles of any kind on July: I, 1920. when the assessment of, taxes for 1921 were made, accord- Ing to the annual report of .tho atato tax commission. Theso wcro tho mountain counties of Knott, Lealle and Clay. Six otber counties had no motor trucks, although a few automobiles wor, listed. They were: Owsley county, two passenger cars valued at $550; Powoll, 62 passenger cars valued at 119,325; Ilockcastle, 103, paaaengor cars valued at $38,970; Jackaon, thrco passenger cars val ued at $700; Magorrtn, four pas senger cars valued at $700, and Hreathltt. six passenger cars val ued'at $2,150. All ot theso counties aro in the mountainous section ot the state. CAPTIVE IS RESCUED American, Held by Mexican Uan dlta, Kreiil After Vlglit WASHINOTON. D. C. Jan. 19. Tho news of tho capturo and tho lator reloaso of A. C. Stllos, American Min ing engineer. In Mexico, reached tho state department today. Stiles was captured near Chlhuuhun, January n..by,.e, band of robbers and hold for $10,000 ransom. The Chihuahua governor immedi ately organised a constabulary band and pursued tho abductors. Tho ban dits woro overtaken January 13, near Santa Kulalia and Stiles was rescued after a tight In which one bandit was ahot. 100 Men's Fine .Caps on salo at 75c-r-. K. K, Store, , . New Minister Counl LKlo Szechenyt haa been appointed Hungarian minister tp (he Vnltrd Butts, according to re ports from Budapsit. tie U now bt Washington. CountsM Meeheayl wm ttrmW mm N ,YM4tlrUt .4 l j ' f . . i' ir ,x't "" mHgfH flgNcUVKgelnPF! Jgegegegegei BrPgH CHIROPRACTIC Itinnovra (fin Cnnaa alOewrJKS5'', I'renaure on one or moro norvca at the point Indicated la tho reason you don't get well. Chiropractic Adjustment ra reraovo thla pressure. "Drt. Mallett & Mallett Undenvood nid. 7th and Main Phono 531-J DANCE AT MERRILL FRIDAY NIGHT, JAN. 20 Good Music by OKEH ORCHESTRA HYDROTHERAPY Violet Hay Treatment and Masssge Hit. OI.IVK W1LSOX 1028 Jefferson fit. Phono .2J:J E EAT T at the The White Lunch Home Cooking A Specialty CHILI CON CARNB CTUNE8E NOODLES SUNDAY CHICKEN DI.VNKR TSc lltt MAM RTRXST WrWAaAAMVWWWWWM NEW BUICKS for Hire Phnno 77 . DENTISTS Dr. E. G. Wisecanrer PnONB S54 Dr. P. M. Noel P BO Hal 4 Over Uaterwoofl'e eve aad Mala Streets wwMMMWMWwwwwmwwaBi E. D. LAMB PHYSICIAN AND 8CHOBON l Phone 17W Rooms 1 sM I 1711 White BeJldlaaL, -tt rrrrrrri Cold Weather Ceming: Let Us Replace Your Broken Class E. C. STUCKEY Uth and Pine Phone 477-W . . DR. F. R. GODDARD Osteopathic, physician and Surgeon Officii and Residence Phones 32'1 I. O. O. F. Temple C. V, FISHIiR, M.Drk D)SRAHE8,OF TOR BTB. KAB, NOSB AND TUBOAT' QLASKBS FITTKI) AND FliRNISHI-aj Phone T ntO Matii Street 1- DR. GKRAIiD F. WAHRRN DENTIST Peraenantly located at Dorrls, Cs4f. 8PKCIAL18T IN drowse ' and UridgQ Wo Prlcei Reasonable. 'Vfork auriits4 DR. J. G. GOBLE OITOMKTIUAT OPTlblAN-. 700 Main Nt. l'hono 1M-W We fit and grind glasses, Dupli cate broken lensea, repair frame, TAMALE PARLORS Chinese Needles Spanish Dishes 240 Main St NEW CITY LAUNDRY FINISHED WORK FLAT WORK ROUGH DRY "Put Your Duel. la Our Swb" PHONE 154 Corner Main and Coafet, Holliday Dairy Wholeaale and Keuil I'aatarlzed Milk aid Cream. Phone 5Q1-J. Excavating Teaming Let as make yon a price oa dig glng that basement, or other ei cavatlng yon contemplate. We do team work of every deecrleiloa Phone 426-J j Office Phone 'l77W. fee ipK ur. n.,JL.,JL4oya oiewan Pbyaidaa aad Sorajeoa WhIU Dalldlag . Klamath Fall Orege wwwwwwwiwvwwwiwwwwwwai I VOCHATZER BROS. WELL DHILLEHH aire Us A Trial Phone 576-W. viiwwwww.w. . . -- I Corn's Auto Service Hudson, Buick, and Dodge Cars Country Trips a Specialty PHOTO lea United. Cigar.Store . .. .MAIN arnUtKT . u ayMWWWMWMWMWMMAMsAAMMMMMWVWM FILZ' SCHOOL OP POPULAR MUSIC J have conitructed thru years of experience' the only ecarse .that teaches yon to play the plaao by NOTE and br EAR In 10 to 20 lea sons. Write for particulars. 701 lltb St., Klamath falls. Ore. Phone 37R. Charlie's Tire Shop' GAS and OILS 6th & Klamath S& L. D. Gat, M. D. , KYE, RAR. NOSB AND THROAT UliAHBKtl VUH?IIHHKU I. O .0. F. Dldg. Phone ll-W rtooms 202, 203, 204 Res. White PeUcaa Hotel. Phoae 0 6th Street Bakery "BETTER BREAD" 126 S 6th Street Klamath Fall. Pluml ing & Heating Co. I ITS MAIN ST. PUONB 548-W FRED WESTERFELD DKNTI8T Phone 4S4W. . X.Ray Laboratcr,, fcooaala BU., aOaaaa FaUe' DR. C. A. RAMBO ' i. O, On, Helldsai j PBONBf'l KLAMATH" FLOWER SHOP H4 MAIN BTRKKT PbOH SM "WffMI iW W? 0M(lOIHIi stT-AflalvscnD taravar. AmMTVlaVR Uttjkf KsasaatBvli JMtsI MBJk American Legloa geeetsi mflhW lu the basement ot the Bg new courthouse oa.asss)i' Street on the flrat arid third TuvesMsj'a of each month. Ex-sorvlco men are Invited to at tend the meeting. . Dr. Fred WesterteldJ CosamMMr. H. K. Gets, Tost Adjutant and. Re lief and Employment committee. Premium .,0airjre Oldeaa,, RtalkrMUyltwsni Ranch Phone 22F2 Office P,hone 490rJ.,.- WILL- r i Vj r wwi k Take: oat. Oellaraer mtUevtata i CON MURPHY i BI7 Mortimer 8t. PJioae S4I-W AAAAwWwmWJifa MADB IN KLAMATH Aif.la Meal , ANDElMONS OHOU! A snwiMtnnniiaar.. l Mfg. by HARRY TBLPORat . RMrMrAWAAAAAAMsMeVWVVMsssaal CHIROPRACTOR Ihr. IO. Brtgi, ,,, fHt First Stat and Savteg Baak BalU 101 Fboa 1W i. C-CIJsOORN,..v i CIVIL BNOIN1BR AND ' 80RVRTOR , . Phone 1J 111 ft, RlvertUe DIL.L,L.TRUAX. WARRVN HUNT HOeVITAL Diy Pkoaws, at N1M nee m CHIROPRACTORS Dr. Herbert B. Mallett Dr. Oeo. B. Mallett Offle over Underwood'i ' 7th Main PBoai IIH KUtaath Ledge No. 1S7 I. O. O. F. Meets Friday night of eack'wieki'kC I.O.O.F. hall, 6th and Maltf etreiee. w. c. Welle Noble nrteig J. E. Seeds .Vlce-Qraad Nate Otterbeln .-.Secretary V. D. Cofer. ;Trearer EWATJNA RNCAMPMBNV " Meets Tuesday night of Mc&vwMlr.' J. V. Brewbaker Chief PatrUre S. n. Itedkey Senior Wardea Claud Carpenter Chaelatn N: D. aiOabach Sjert' Nate Otterbeln , ....TTeaaarer. DR.G.A. MASSEY Foirtk am PIm Mi. la Warywaggt.Hetfltal. Off- PkOM 4t7-Rea. PfeaM Jllit DR. T.C CAMPBELL" PHTHCIAN ANB fCBBBOW LO.ar.BB4Becr 4 ReMdeace PUa Bt. . Pkoas M6.R. Phoae IM J DR. W. A. tBONAB Deetlet ' - Spectalhit In 'Bxtraethiae, -Oral Surgery aad dlssaeee ot the aoath -- floom 10 over. Ooldea Bale v rr Kkawtk Falb CycUry I i " ) ' j We are hero' toeerve yea,- eat aim to eerve yon right. Motoreyelee and Bicycles. Parte aoA Aceeeortee; Tlree, and.. Tn,bee. tht wllU,tUi. . row, Inspection.' ul.wt carry "he 6eattn eer-IIae. Reaalr-aher coaecilo with Harley-Davteeo 8ervlee. - n " J H tn PkOM BTB 110 Mala St- ... Ktaaaath raab r. O. B. BUMARK h. , - .ij .1 lu' aili Jl SAW MlLIi ENGlNBKBINa CON8TRUOTION OO". ! J 4 liUt tBeetgaere aad balldera of aaoeV ena saw aalBe, ytaadaif eiUU M' bos eUaU. Dredclag. PUe eVivla. . M Ph0 W :- Office Center Sawfkg aa4 Oak ,. Nea B. P. Depol i i ,'..; PRUCAN BAT BVB r, Far loo each wi Leafrae Res Care Leav T.SK v. lltUr'a; e:oo p. .c IT asla MTTMB -"ea-rr ie-tf PhoaaTv ! ; GLOVER Btfa'afrareV' t. ."5rrf-,'' fl it iJU! t Vour Wmtch Keep ' Time, 5T r ' V t; i ! -t t5 la' i fr -c.y "jn J? v