page vovn
THURSDAY, MARCH 21, 1021.
THE EVENING HERALD. KLAMATH FALLS, OREGON
The Office Cat:
9MMHS9wUflHmv9k
IIV JUNIUS
A NARROW SQUEAK
Two Rcntlcmcn riding on n train
wcro both very much Intoxicated.
First (lent "What tlmo Is It!"
Second Gent (after extracting a
match-box from his pockot with
much exertion and gazing at It In
tently) "Thursday."
First Gent "My God! I'vo got to
get off hero." everybody's.
TIIK FORD handshaki:.
Some" of our readers may never
havo heard of tho Ford handshake
This Is how It Is dena: Grasp firmly
tho hand of tho personyou arc greet
ing: placo feet flat and closo on tho
floor; assume an earnest look, then
vigorously "spin" tho arm of your
victim until ho fires up. Ho Is then
ready to go.
Jack Thompson avers that tho fol
lowing conversation took placo re
cently In Dorrls.
"Sister," said tho deacon, sevcrclj,
"you should avoid Uio very appear
anco of evil."
"Why. deacon, what do you
mean?" ask tho sister.
"I observed that on your sideboard
vou fiavo several cut glass decanters,
and that each of them Is halt filled
with what nppcars to bo nrdont spir
its." "Now, deacon. It Isn't anything of
tho kind. Tho bottles look so pretty
on tho sideboard that I tilled them
half way with floor stain and furni
ture polish Just for tho sako of ap
pearance." "That's why I am cautioning you.
sister." replied tho deacon. "Feeling
a llttlo faint, I helped myself to a
dojo from that big bottlo In tho mid
dle." RK-ENFORCRD VIRTUE
Teacher "In what part of tho
Blblo is It taught that a man should
have only ono wife?"
Llttlo Boy "I guess it's the pert
that says that no man can serve
more than ono master.
IN TERMS OF TAXATION
First Taxpayor i"I hear you have
an addition to your family."
Second Taxpayer "Yes. Both cx
emptlonh nro doing well." Now
York Herald. '
WHY. THREYHTJEA!
Florlne "I won't morry a man
who won't look me straight In the
oyo whllo ho Is talking to me."
Chlorine "Then wcar'em longer,
dcarlo." Stanford Chaparral.
ALL IN FA VOU
TIIK AYES liAVK IT!
Thero was an old burglar who Mid:
"I'll reform now and hold up my
head."
Ho's a landlord today.
And his tenants all say
"Put him back In tho Jail till ho's
dead!"
A, woman nnd her daughter wero
at sea during a terrific storm. After
a sllenco of some tlmo tho mother
said: "Aro you seasick, doar." "No,
I think not, mother," replied the
girl, "But I'd hate to yawn."
"On what salary should a man
marry?" asks a morning paper. On
his wife's, of course
Wars may como and wars may go,
but war taxes go on forover.
Fred Baker says that some- people
got Into tho gallery of Immortals on
passes.
CAHE CONTINUED.
Miss Curves Bued an old man named
Drury,
And sho made an appeal to tho Jury;
Sho said that one limb
Had been Injured by blmb;
But tho Jurymen woro from Missouri.
Ni;K MURPHY'S PJ?ACE
(Ashland (Va) 'Herald-Progress)
hat might havo been a serious ac
cident In Richmond tho other day
when an auto skidded and struck a
lady in tho safoty zone.
Lawn and Garden Seed
Four-Year-Old Town
Has 7,000 People
KOUIt YEAR . .. plnml
LYNCH. K, March 2.1. ThU city
Is less than four years old nnd has n
population of approximately 7,000
porsons, concrete streets and roads,
(I department store that compare.'
favorably with those of much larger)
cities, n 1300,000 hotel, n $1,000,000
bank, tho largest coal tlpplo in the
world, nu S5 bed hospital nnd a
church at every denomination rop"
scntcd In eastern Kentucky. In tho
opinion of It. II. Clayton, socrotnry
of tho Harlan County Coal Operator's
Association It will bo tho modot min
ing camp of tho country within two
more years.
Sitting at tho head of tho vnlloy of
the Poor Fork of tho Cumberland
river, forty miles above tho point
whero It Joins tho Clovor Fork at
Harlan to form tho main stream, tho
town Is tho base of what Is said will
bo tho largest coal operation In tho
Cumberland mountnlns when It Is
completed.
Model cottnges for minors nnd of
ficials aro bolng erected ns "rapidly
as possible Theso homes havo every
modern convenience nnd nro rented
at tho rnto of $2 per room for houses
which nro not heated from tho cen
tral power houso and nt a figure bas
ed on tho rnto of $2 per room plus
tho cost of radiation for homes heat
ed with steam.
Tho only general storo In tho com
munity rivals In Its appointments and
stock any department storo In tho
largest cltleg of tho couutry.
A $300,000 hotel has been erect
ed on tho highest nccesMblo point In
tho valley. It Is equipped throughout
with all modem conveniences.
Concroto roads nnd streets nro bo
lng built as rapidly ns possible tho
roads leading to tho various points
whoro tho veins of conl In tho moun
tain aro oxpected to bo opened.
Harding May Name
New shipping Board
Within A Few Days
(Hrniiri Washington Bureau)
WASHINGTON, March 24. Presi
dent Harding Is expected to name
tho shipping board members within
tho next two or threo days. Senator
McNary , who say tho President Sat
urday, gained that Impression and
seems certain that former Senator
Chamberlain wilt bo ono of tho first
named. President Harding said he
had two men In mind elthor of which
would bo acceptable as chairman.
Admiral Harris, one of tho most ng-
Lgresslve men In tho navy and a con-
dldato for a place on tho board, con
ferred with tho president.
Senator McNary has wired all
thoso Interested thnt thero will bo
no embargo on agricultural products
for President Harding Is adverso to
using his war power for this pur
pose. An emergency tnrlff Is certain
but It will Includo some thirty odd
Items at least and porhapv more
Hops which were not covered in tho
former emergency tralff .will bo In-
Outbursts of Everett True By Condon
U$ w
I V 5-
Do Yo Kvoj
bZ-41 ANllnlN' wu i
f ' rCIVYCRS f
THCSN S,e-T OUT OU(3. TOUJ.Un
AtvTD Pvjl-t- MCE INTO TOUiKJ J
THAT Wtt-- f-M lE. THRccs
fONMY -Tl2. S THAT TOJ
, iiOim H
jm&&
CIGAR
all kinds
O
P
E
N
A
L
L
N
I
G
H
T
The
CENTRAL
HOTEL
GUY GARRETT, Mgr.
Phono in.VW
Steam Heated
RATES:
Transient $1.00, up
Weekly $5.00, up
NEWS STAND
all the latest news
eluded In tho now one Senator Olcott
and others Interested in hop growing
in Oregon.
General Wood and Camoron Forb
es, who aro going to tho Philippines
to report to President Harding, con
ferred with Secretary Wooks.
Latest Type Logging
Locomotive Received
fey Pelican Bay Co.
A now logging locomotive, tho lat
est type, weighing 181,000 pounds,
hns been received by tho Pollcan Hay
Lumber company and will bo put Into
servlco on tho main logging lino' bo
tween Kirk and tho company's camps
as soon as logging starts. It will re
place" tho old engines for main lino
work, as they will bo used on tho
spurs.
Tho locomotlvo was built- by tho
American Locomotive Works, Pitts
burg, Pennsylvania. It is a slx-whcol-or,
oil-burner, super heated and clas
sified among onglnes as tho Pralrlo
typo.
Incidentally Its trip across tho con
tinent gave Klamath county & bit of
rH
Alc t Know.
QOOT THen IS
A CouPlc op
PunmH sxovttss
Tae -Hoes ;
V - nwi
mB1B(wTZTT-n,
vpsaasfrm
STAND
rmmit
of tobacco
o
p
E
N
A
L
L
N
I
G
H
T
advertising ns blazoned on tho tun
dor's sldo was the unnounrnmont that
H was an American Locomotive com
pany product en routo for delivery to
tho Pelican May Lumber company at
Klamath Falls, Oregon. At least one
local reMdent. returning from the
cast, read thn hoiup-reiuindlng sign
as tho freight train nlde-truc::cd on n
t'nlon Pacific npur to let the Pull
mans go by
Advertising brings efficiency.
Klamath Lodge No. 137
L O. O. F.
Meets Friday night of each week at
I. O. 0. F. ball, 6th and Main streets
H. II. Ogle ....................... N. G.
Chas. Newman ..................... ,..V. G.
G. B. Manguo ........................ .Socy.
W. O. Cofor ............................Trea.
ENCAMPMENT
J. II. Houston ...,
II. V. nrown .......
L. J. UcCluro
E. J, Mayor ..
MaVJt 1
B. W.
..Scrlbe
...Treasurer
EX-SERVICE MEN, ATTENTION!
Klamath Post No. 8,
Amorlcan Legion moots
at tho City Hall on the
first and third Tuesdays
of each month.
Ex-scrvico mon aro Invited to at
tend tho moctlngs.
For membership cards or Informa
tion ex-sorvlco men are requested to
seo or wrlto tho following offlcers:
J. H. Carnahan, Commander.
Roy N. Fouch, Post Adjutant.
For relief of employment 'see or
wrlto tho Chairman of Tho Itollot and
Employment Commlttoo, Francis
Olds, caro Lnkosldo Lumber com
pany.
MINERAL BATHS
Dr. Maud Ingeraoll Hawley
Chiropractic Physician
First National Dank Building
Entrance, Room I
ASHLAND, OIUCGON
Instruction la Piano Playing by
Expert of Many Years'
, Experience.
MRS. OSUORN
Apt. 9. Helms ApU.
Murphey's
PIANO
ras
CHIROPRACTOR
Hr. U CI. ItrldgeH
Over Firat Statu mid Havliiga Banli
flullo 10B Phono 102-J
G. E. WASHBURN
Contractor and
Builder
Construction Work of nny kind.
No Job too largo or too rmall.
Estimates furnished fruo of
chnrgo.
PHONE !i:l7-.l
WILL-
Tnko out (Ylliim or Fill In Lot
CON MURPHY
1SI7 .Mortimer St.
Let Your GLASS trouble
he Mino
C. E. STUCKEY
Re-Glazing und Cabinet
Making
Phone 477W
Eleventh und Pine
HOUSE MOVING
Having bought the
moving outfit of True &
Failing, we are now
prepared to move
houses or other heavy
articles.
Washburn & Houston
i'Iiem: iiiii.it
Household Furniture
0001)8 OB ALL KINDS
OUH PRICES ItlOIIT
Wo liny, Sill and Exchange.
Cur. Hlxtli and Klamath Avo.
DICK'S Ai CO.
PAINTING
Prn'-tlrul painting, gliding, bront
Ing, nnnnielliiK. kiiUomlnlug. wall'
paper cleaning nnd C'liuiul con
trading
II. C. TL'TIIILL
Phono 183 625 Oak St
NEW CITY LAUNDRY
FINISHED WORK
FLAT WORK
ROUGH DRY
"Put Your Duds
In Our Suds"
PHONE 154
Corner Main nnd Conger
Klamath Dye Works
Phone 408
OUIt CLEANING, PRESSING ANI
HKVAIHING WILL MAKE YOUH
CliOTIIKH
' LOOK LIKE NEW
HATH HKIILOCKEH
Good Called for anil Delivered
431 Muln Street Klamath Foil,
LKT UH DO YOUH COLLKCTINO
A number o( buHlness hounoa aro
aavlni; tho tlmo of their hookkeopara
and Individual cntlcctorn by lottlnR
us collect thoir monthly bills. It Is
tho modorn method. It cuts down
your ovorhend. Got your bills roady
and wo will do tho rest.
MIIS. T. II. JOLLY ..Cth nnd Mnln
Ovor 8ui;nrmnn'8 storo. Phono 320W
Klamath Falls Cyclcry
Wo aro hero to sorvo you, and
aim to sorvu you right. Motorcycle
nnd Illcyclon, Parts and Acossorlos,
Tiros and Tubes, that will stand
your Inspection, as wo curry the
best In our lino. Ilopalr shop In
connection with Harloy-Davldson
Service
Phono S73
1010 Mnln St. Klamath Falls
C. K. IIISMAHK
PKI.1CAV IIAY HUH
Faro 25c oach way
Loaves Ilex Cafe Loaves Pollcan City
7Mb a. m. 8:00 a. m.
12:46 p. m. 1:00 p. m.
6:00 p. m. C:30 p. m.
Ilccknrd Itcnt Service
Phono 77
2C-tf
BEAUTY PARLOR
Shampooing, mnrcollng, tnassag
Ing, manicuring. For appolntmonta,
phono 30C, Whlto Pollcan Hotel.
Seed Store
DR. G. A. MASSEY
Fourth Mid Pine Hts.
In Warren Hunt Hospital
Off. Phone 497 Ros. Phone SIM
DR. T. C. CAMPBELL
PnVSIOIAN AND SUHOKOW
I. O. O. V. Dulldlng
Phono 800
Residence Whlto Pollcan noUl
Rnsldnnco Phono B,
DR. L. L. TRUAX
WAItllEN HUNT HOSPITAL
Day Phono, 41)7 Night Phone, BO
Onico Phono 177W Res 177R
Dr. H. D. Lloyd Stewart
Physician mid Surgeon
Whlto Hultdlng
Klamath Falls Onion
WVWWl1
DR. F. R. GODDARD
Osteopathic Physician and
Surgeon
i Office and lies denco
Phones 321
I. O. O. F. Tomple
E. D. LAMB
PHYSICIAN AND SUROKON
I'honra I7W
1711
Rooms 1 and I
White IlulltUag
L. D. Gass, M. D.
i:vi:, i:ah, nesi: and throat
OLASSCH lCltMSIICII
Wnrren Hunt Htmpltnt Phono 407
lira. Whllo lVllrnii Hotel. Phono R
DENTISTS
Dr. E. G. Wisecanrer
piionr sos
Dr. P. M. Nool
I'ltONK 4
thin Uiderwood's
HoTraih aad Mots Streets
MM
DR. .... ItAlfltO
Dentist
L O. O. P. Uslldtesj
PHONE 61
FRED WESTERFELD
DENTIST v
Phone 434W.
X-IUy LborotOf7 ,
LoomU llldc., KUntath roll
CHIROPRACTORS
DRS.
MALLETT
AND
MALLETT
OFFICE OVEIt UNDEltWOOD'S
Phono Bao-J. Seventh Mala
J. O. CLICOIIOHN
CIVIL KNOINKKn AND
aunvuYou
Phono 192J 133 8. nivorilde
SAW MILL ENOINEKIUNa
CONSTRUCTION CO.
Dealfrjieni and builder of mod.
ern saw mills, pianino; mills and
box plant. Dredging. Pllo driving.
Phono 40O.W
Office Corner SprlriR and Oak
Near H. I. Depot
Excavating
Teaming
Lot us mako you a prico on dig
ging that basotnont, or other ex
cavating you contomDlato. Wa alio
do team work of ovory description.
Phone 426-J
PHONE 87
124 So. Sixth St.
4-
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