rAOH THItKH
THE EVENING HERALD. KLAMATH PALLS, OREGON
I'ltlDAY, MAUCH, IB,- lNt.
h
I The Office Cat
IIV JUNIUH
A Tifllininlii IHtty
Ttio world whs IiIiiii ami RuttliiK
bluer.
There wnn no Joy In life nnil tlnn
Wii look Mix bottles of 'k euro
And In! (ho world seemed lirlulil
IIKltlll!
Life's pathway iiticn seemed Ions nnil
liuril,
Hut now groat Joy thn wrllor fcln;
Ho Ik (Iiii most contented bnrd,
llecnuno tin wear 's rubber IiooIh,
Wo'ro happy nil (ho livelong ilny,
Though onro wo worn morose nnil
glum;
Mont nny onn ran got this wny
lly clinwln 'h chewing gum.
Thn( we're n simple-minded uy
lly friend wlfo often wo'rn nilrlacd
Hut wo have simply not (o try
Whatever wo see advertised!
I'iiiimmm rftt Wnl
"I wondur If It'a lonili'it. I'll look
down ttio barrel nnil hco."
"Thoy imy tlmiii) things can't pos
sibly explode, no mnttor lijiw much
ou throw tli i' in nroiiml."
'I womlnr whether thin rope will
hold my wolRhi "
"I fit no fun swimming n roll ml In
horo. I'm going out beyond (ho llfo
limit "
"Which nni) of thesu In (ho third
rail, anyway T"
"There's only onn wny lo mnn.igo
a mulo. Walk right up In hack of
him and surprise him."
"Thnt firecracker mint hnvn roiio
out I'll light It again."
"Watch mo skate out pant the
'Dancer' sign I hot I can touch It
"These (raffle policemen think (hoy
own thn cl(y. They can't stop mo.
I'm KoInK (n cross (ho street now.
Lot (ho chuuffouni look out for mo."
"What a funny nolito that sunko
mokes. I think I'll Ktop on him."
"Pro never driven n car In traffic
hnforo. Hut (hoy nny It'a perfectly
Hlmplo."
"1 think I'll mix a little nitric acid
with thin chlnrldn of potusslum and
o what happens."
"Oh. Union! That's tho train whls
Ho. Step on tho accelerator, and
wo'll try to get across before It
conies." Dorothy I'nrkor In Life.
"Cleopntrn," observes Wnllcr Van
Kmon, "has been nccuHod of nlmont
ovorythliiK except daucInK (ho shim-
my."
UAT
DOWN
tiij:
maiuilk
HTKP8
roads a sign on n 9th St, restaur
nnt, Clovolnnd. "Not with tho pour
tooth I huvo," says Ilardllo Abol,
"Ladles, watch your skirts, wo aro
not responsible," Is tho warning Blgn
In a shoo-shlnlng pluco.
"Thoiio guyH in tint ho vory lorn
poramontul," aayH Hen Zlnu who
wroto u h about It,
Y Poor Colyum ("ouiliutor
Clotting up n dally colyum In no
picnic. If wo print Jokos, folks Hay
wo nro Hilly If wo don't thoy gay wo
are too serious. If wo publish or
(final matter, thoy say wo lack vat
ioty If wo publlah things from. oth
or papers, thoy say wo nro too laxy to
wrlto. If wo don't k to church wo
nro heathens If wo ko wo nro
hypocrites. It wo stay In tho of
fice, ho ougth to ho out rustling
nows if wo rustlo for news, wo aro
not attending to uuhIiiohb In tho of
flee. If wo woar old clothes wo
ore'Blovon It wo woar now clothes,
they aro not paid for. What In thund
er Is n poor editor to do nnyhow?
Like an not someone will say wo
wiped this from an exchange. Wo
did.
At Coldwator, O., there's n big
sign ou the Hlda of a factory, thnt
reads:
"THK NKW IDKA SPItBADKIl
COMPANY"
At last horo'a n placo to take your
Ideas that you want to spread.
Two-facod humans aro bo common
here In Klamath 1'ulln that Is Is sol
dom that thoy nro placed on exhibi
tion at the drug stores, yet thoy nro
T.
frniuontly soon thnro. Now thnt
America's as dry an Sahara fnwor
still will bn preserved In nlrohol,
An electrician had arrived homo
nt 1 a. m, und wan preparing to un
dress whnu liln wlfo glared at him
and said: ""Watts (ho mattor? Wlro
you Insulnln? Hut tho shock wan too
IrIiiiiI miitlor, thqy say wo lack vnr-
WESTERNER FDR
If. N. KllnRetibnrK says: If you
must uno a hammiir build u Iiouho.
Girls' Names Barred
for Titles of Lakes
POIITLAND, March 18.- Members
of tho forest snrvlro HUrvoylng party
who wont over tho skyllno route from
Orator Inko (o Mount Jefferson, Inst
summer, hnvo found themselves over
ruled ns to (ho naming of numerous
lakes set In (ho summit of tho Cas
eation When thn chiefs looked over (ho
maps, thoy frowned, for stretched
along from Diamond lake to thn Wa
ters wan n list of girls' nftmon.
"Wo wore oxpoctod to tinmo them,
nnd those wore tho only nnmes wo
could think; or," was tho alibi of tho
surveyors.
To Miss Mlnot Hhnrman of' thn'
1)1011 department of thn service has
been assigned tho tank of finding
suitable Indian names for tho lakes,
to replace thoso of wives, daughters
and sweethearts.
Home of tho names appearing ou
tho now maps Include Helen, Hetty,
Opal, Florence, Klennor, Ituth, tdn
and Marjorlu.
III7rri.lt FA KM JIO.MCH
I. C .C. SLATED
WAHHINOTON, Murch 18. Wil
liam fl. Hprny, former governor of
Utah, was appointed commissioner
of tho general land office today,
Trunk Ilngcnbarth, of Idaho, presi
dent of tho National Wool Orows-c
association, may bo named as a mem
ber of thn Interstate commerco
commission, It was announced.
J1IWD irUtlOATIONIflTS
WILL VOTK O.V IIONDH
PULLMAN, Wash., March 18. A
statewide competition on thn drawing
of plans for farm houses has hcon
nnnounccd by Professor L. J. Smith,!
of tho Washington state collego do-1
pnrtmont of agricultural engineering,!
participants In tho contest to Include
only farm women, or thoso who have
lived on farms. Tho contest will
clone April 1C.
Prizes donated by buslnrss firms
of Washington, wilt ho given for the
best two or three plnns In each group
of farm houses considered.
HIIAHTA V1IJW
Parlies woro In this section Mon
day talking oil und land leasing to
our rnnchors. Wo did not learn If
any land was leased.
Hoy Foglo and wlfo took Mr.
Foglo's mother to hor ranch at Okla
homa last Friday whoro she expects
to live the coming year.
A surprise party was given Itlchard
Pickett nnd wlfo last Saturday oven
Ing nnd wo understand thoro was n
largo number present. Cards and
dancing featured largely In tho en
tertainment. A flno supper was
sorvod.
Mr. and Mrs. II. K.f Wilson en
tortalned about 40 neighbors and
schoolmates of their son Karl Fri
day evening In honor of his birthday.
It was manngod In such a mnnnor
thnt hii and his brother locator woro
surprised, (lames, music and dancing
furnished tho entertainment and a
conundrum supper was served which
added vory much to tho amusomont
of nil, especially If tho guoss
brought forth lemonade, water, cof
fee, onion nnd n toothpick for lunch.
However, all woro sorved with tho
siibstnntlnls after they all tried tholr
skill nt gursslng.
I1KND, March 18. Settlors of tho
Central Oregon Irrigation district
.will voto on a $250,000 Issuo at a
nyvtiui UiUCllun lo 00 nOlO April 10,
directors of tho district announco.
Tho $250,000 Includes holdings of
tho Central Oregon Irrigation com
pany, whllo tho romalndor of tho
total nmount In for a working fund,
outstanding Indebtedness, discount
nnd Interest on tho bonds for ono
year.
At thn last olectlon hnld In Juno
tho soltlors refusod to nllow $100,-
ooo as tho purchaso prlco or tho
company's Intorosts.
.HUNT TOtmiKTH IIUItKAU
MISSOULA, Mont., March 18.
(Towns In westorn Montana and north
I ern Idaho aro to unite In a tourists
I bureau, to bo maintained here, at
1 which Information will ho given au
tomobile travellers concerning tho
overland traits and' otherwise assist
them. Tho towns Interested nro to
boar thn expenso polntly, Including
salary of n secretary.
Tho death rato In tho United
Slntes lit 1919 was tho lowest yenrly All Wiirsnw wont Into mourning
nvenigu over recorded. Thn rato ' at the funeral or Sergeant Sophie
was 12.9 per 1000 persons, nnd I Poukopwlcx, "tho Horolno of l'lock,"
nearly 10 per cent of tho deaths was I who died from wounds received In
from .tuberculosis. battle against tho bolshevlkl.
Each Day After Visiting
The Auto Show
Visit the
Rex Cafe
And try a cup of our justly famous
Coffee and French Pastry
We are making coffee under a
new method. The water and urn
are heated by steam and the temper
ature is maintained at exactly the
same degree of heat at all times,
thus insuring perfect coffee, no mat
ter when you get it. It is the last
word in coffee-making, and experts
declare that it is the perfect method
for making it.
REX CAFE
Corner Seventh and Main
CAIII) OF THANKS
Wo deslro to oxpross our slncoro
gratitude to thoso whoso sympathy
and kindness were so frocly extend
ed to us In our recent borcavemont.
Mil. und MltS. JOB MEItniTT.
SHASTA CO. TO
FEATURE TOPS
Auto tops of jnany colors, and of
unexcelled texture, will ho featured
In tho Shasta Auto Top company's
booth at tho auto show, and John
Pauly and Frank Hist, who com
prise tho company, are authority for
tho statement that tho materials
that will bo shown aro Just like tho
auto top materials that aro being
used throughout tho cast, and In
overy placo whoro autolsts keep
abroast with tho fads and fashions,
Whllo extremely modish, theso tops
of many colors embody durability ai
woll, and Mr. Pauly and Mr. Hint
will tell you anything you want to
know relative to what Is best for
your car, or for any special purpose
you may havo In rlow. Tholr exhibit
will bo found In tho accessory room.
HAHTKK MIOKI'AHT O.V THK
ItlVKIt 18 CLUH PLAN
Harry Poltz, social socrotary of tho
Tuckabachco club, Is Bonding out
gcncrnl Invitations to tho Young;
Men's Sunday School clans at tho M.
K. church next Sunday morning.
"If you aro Intorcstcd In a Youne
Men's Social club bo thoro. It you
nro Intorcstod In an Kastor break
fast on tho rlvor, bo thoro," are ap
pealing sentences of tho Invitation.
To ollmlnato gambling and opium
' f.l .. f-tlMAan 1. ,til .AMNL
HmuKlIIRT UII1UI1K muunu wii .-
try, the Chlnnso nntlonal wolfaro so
cloty In Amorlca Is establishing
Industrial schools and persuading
tho Chlneso to attend American
schools whoro they may occupy their
thought with trades nnd Industries.
A.
iii iiii iiiiiiimiiiiMinmiiiiiinMiiiniuiniiiuiiiiiiiiuiiiiiiiiiimii
DON'T LOOK AT
YOUR WATCH
You take a chance when you try 'to look at your
watch and run your car at the same time don't do it.
Get a clock for your car from us.
And, by the way
Did you ever stop to think what it means to buy
watches, clocks, jewelry anything in our line from
a resposible firm, one whose business and reputation
were built upon square dealing with its patrons? It
means a lot everything, in fact, for upon it depends
your getting value received. You know, there are
automobiles and automobiles. Well, it is the same
with Jewelers. If you patronize our store, we know
you will return.
H. J. WINTERS
Jeweler and Graduate Optician
706 Main Street
Phone 149-W
H--HH4)tt4
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