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About The Evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942 | View Entire Issue (March 18, 1921)
rAOH THItKH THE EVENING HERALD. KLAMATH PALLS, OREGON I'ltlDAY, MAUCH, IB,- lNt. h I The Office Cat IIV JUNIUH A Tifllininlii IHtty Ttio world whs IiIiiii ami RuttliiK bluer. There wnn no Joy In life nnil tlnn Wii look Mix bottles of 'k euro And In! (ho world seemed lirlulil IIKltlll! Life's pathway iiticn seemed Ions nnil liuril, Hut now groat Joy thn wrllor fcln; Ho Ik (Iiii most contented bnrd, llecnuno tin wear 's rubber IiooIh, Wo'ro happy nil (ho livelong ilny, Though onro wo worn morose nnil glum; Mont nny onn ran got this wny lly clinwln 'h chewing gum. Thn( we're n simple-minded uy lly friend wlfo often wo'rn nilrlacd Hut wo have simply not (o try Whatever wo see advertised! I'iiiimmm rftt Wnl "I wondur If It'a lonili'it. I'll look down ttio barrel nnil hco." "Thoy imy tlmiii) things can't pos sibly explode, no mnttor lijiw much ou throw tli i' in nroiiml." 'I womlnr whether thin rope will hold my wolRhi " "I fit no fun swimming n roll ml In horo. I'm going out beyond (ho llfo limit " "Which nni) of thesu In (ho third rail, anyway T" "There's only onn wny lo mnn.igo a mulo. Walk right up In hack of him and surprise him." "Thnt firecracker mint hnvn roiio out I'll light It again." "Watch mo skate out pant the 'Dancer' sign I hot I can touch It "These (raffle policemen think (hoy own thn cl(y. They can't stop mo. I'm KoInK (n cross (ho street now. Lot (ho chuuffouni look out for mo." "What a funny nolito that sunko mokes. I think I'll Ktop on him." "Pro never driven n car In traffic hnforo. Hut (hoy nny It'a perfectly Hlmplo." "1 think I'll mix a little nitric acid with thin chlnrldn of potusslum and o what happens." "Oh. Union! That's tho train whls Ho. Step on tho accelerator, and wo'll try to get across before It conies." Dorothy I'nrkor In Life. "Cleopntrn," observes Wnllcr Van Kmon, "has been nccuHod of nlmont ovorythliiK except daucInK (ho shim- my." UAT DOWN tiij: maiuilk HTKP8 roads a sign on n 9th St, restaur nnt, Clovolnnd. "Not with tho pour tooth I huvo," says Ilardllo Abol, "Ladles, watch your skirts, wo aro not responsible," Is tho warning Blgn In a shoo-shlnlng pluco. "Thoiio guyH in tint ho vory lorn poramontul," aayH Hen Zlnu who wroto u h about It, Y Poor Colyum ("ouiliutor Clotting up n dally colyum In no picnic. If wo print Jokos, folks Hay wo nro Hilly If wo don't thoy gay wo are too serious. If wo publish or (final matter, thoy say wo lack vat ioty If wo publlah things from. oth or papers, thoy say wo nro too laxy to wrlto. If wo don't k to church wo nro heathens If wo ko wo nro hypocrites. It wo stay In tho of fice, ho ougth to ho out rustling nows if wo rustlo for news, wo aro not attending to uuhIiiohb In tho of flee. If wo woar old clothes wo ore'Blovon It wo woar now clothes, they aro not paid for. What In thund er Is n poor editor to do nnyhow? Like an not someone will say wo wiped this from an exchange. Wo did. At Coldwator, O., there's n big sign ou the Hlda of a factory, thnt reads: "THK NKW IDKA SPItBADKIl COMPANY" At last horo'a n placo to take your Ideas that you want to spread. Two-facod humans aro bo common here In Klamath 1'ulln that Is Is sol dom that thoy nro placed on exhibi tion at the drug stores, yet thoy nro T. frniuontly soon thnro. Now thnt America's as dry an Sahara fnwor still will bn preserved In nlrohol, An electrician had arrived homo nt 1 a. m, und wan preparing to un dress whnu liln wlfo glared at him and said: ""Watts (ho mattor? Wlro you Insulnln? Hut tho shock wan too IrIiiiiI miitlor, thqy say wo lack vnr- WESTERNER FDR If. N. KllnRetibnrK says: If you must uno a hammiir build u Iiouho. Girls' Names Barred for Titles of Lakes POIITLAND, March 18.- Members of tho forest snrvlro HUrvoylng party who wont over tho skyllno route from Orator Inko (o Mount Jefferson, Inst summer, hnvo found themselves over ruled ns to (ho naming of numerous lakes set In (ho summit of tho Cas eation When thn chiefs looked over (ho maps, thoy frowned, for stretched along from Diamond lake to thn Wa ters wan n list of girls' nftmon. "Wo wore oxpoctod to tinmo them, nnd those wore tho only nnmes wo could think; or," was tho alibi of tho surveyors. To Miss Mlnot Hhnrman of' thn' 1)1011 department of thn service has been assigned tho tank of finding suitable Indian names for tho lakes, to replace thoso of wives, daughters and sweethearts. Home of tho names appearing ou tho now maps Include Helen, Hetty, Opal, Florence, Klennor, Ituth, tdn and Marjorlu. III7rri.lt FA KM JIO.MCH I. C .C. SLATED WAHHINOTON, Murch 18. Wil liam fl. Hprny, former governor of Utah, was appointed commissioner of tho general land office today, Trunk Ilngcnbarth, of Idaho, presi dent of tho National Wool Orows-c association, may bo named as a mem ber of thn Interstate commerco commission, It was announced. J1IWD irUtlOATIONIflTS WILL VOTK O.V IIONDH PULLMAN, Wash., March 18. A statewide competition on thn drawing of plans for farm houses has hcon nnnounccd by Professor L. J. Smith,! of tho Washington state collego do-1 pnrtmont of agricultural engineering,! participants In tho contest to Include only farm women, or thoso who have lived on farms. Tho contest will clone April 1C. Prizes donated by buslnrss firms of Washington, wilt ho given for the best two or three plnns In each group of farm houses considered. HIIAHTA V1IJW Parlies woro In this section Mon day talking oil und land leasing to our rnnchors. Wo did not learn If any land was leased. Hoy Foglo and wlfo took Mr. Foglo's mother to hor ranch at Okla homa last Friday whoro she expects to live the coming year. A surprise party was given Itlchard Pickett nnd wlfo last Saturday oven Ing nnd wo understand thoro was n largo number present. Cards and dancing featured largely In tho en tertainment. A flno supper was sorvod. Mr. and Mrs. II. K.f Wilson en tortalned about 40 neighbors and schoolmates of their son Karl Fri day evening In honor of his birthday. It was manngod In such a mnnnor thnt hii and his brother locator woro surprised, (lames, music and dancing furnished tho entertainment and a conundrum supper was served which added vory much to tho amusomont of nil, especially If tho guoss brought forth lemonade, water, cof fee, onion nnd n toothpick for lunch. However, all woro sorved with tho siibstnntlnls after they all tried tholr skill nt gursslng. I1KND, March 18. Settlors of tho Central Oregon Irrigation district .will voto on a $250,000 Issuo at a nyvtiui UiUCllun lo 00 nOlO April 10, directors of tho district announco. Tho $250,000 Includes holdings of tho Central Oregon Irrigation com pany, whllo tho romalndor of tho total nmount In for a working fund, outstanding Indebtedness, discount nnd Interest on tho bonds for ono year. At thn last olectlon hnld In Juno tho soltlors refusod to nllow $100,- ooo as tho purchaso prlco or tho company's Intorosts. .HUNT TOtmiKTH IIUItKAU MISSOULA, Mont., March 18. (Towns In westorn Montana and north I ern Idaho aro to unite In a tourists I bureau, to bo maintained here, at 1 which Information will ho given au tomobile travellers concerning tho overland traits and' otherwise assist them. Tho towns Interested nro to boar thn expenso polntly, Including salary of n secretary. Tho death rato In tho United Slntes lit 1919 was tho lowest yenrly All Wiirsnw wont Into mourning nvenigu over recorded. Thn rato ' at the funeral or Sergeant Sophie was 12.9 per 1000 persons, nnd I Poukopwlcx, "tho Horolno of l'lock," nearly 10 per cent of tho deaths was I who died from wounds received In from .tuberculosis. battle against tho bolshevlkl. Each Day After Visiting The Auto Show Visit the Rex Cafe And try a cup of our justly famous Coffee and French Pastry We are making coffee under a new method. The water and urn are heated by steam and the temper ature is maintained at exactly the same degree of heat at all times, thus insuring perfect coffee, no mat ter when you get it. It is the last word in coffee-making, and experts declare that it is the perfect method for making it. REX CAFE Corner Seventh and Main CAIII) OF THANKS Wo deslro to oxpross our slncoro gratitude to thoso whoso sympathy and kindness were so frocly extend ed to us In our recent borcavemont. Mil. und MltS. JOB MEItniTT. SHASTA CO. TO FEATURE TOPS Auto tops of jnany colors, and of unexcelled texture, will ho featured In tho Shasta Auto Top company's booth at tho auto show, and John Pauly and Frank Hist, who com prise tho company, are authority for tho statement that tho materials that will bo shown aro Just like tho auto top materials that aro being used throughout tho cast, and In overy placo whoro autolsts keep abroast with tho fads and fashions, Whllo extremely modish, theso tops of many colors embody durability ai woll, and Mr. Pauly and Mr. Hint will tell you anything you want to know relative to what Is best for your car, or for any special purpose you may havo In rlow. Tholr exhibit will bo found In tho accessory room. HAHTKK MIOKI'AHT O.V THK ItlVKIt 18 CLUH PLAN Harry Poltz, social socrotary of tho Tuckabachco club, Is Bonding out gcncrnl Invitations to tho Young; Men's Sunday School clans at tho M. K. church next Sunday morning. "If you aro Intorcstcd In a Youne Men's Social club bo thoro. It you nro Intorcstod In an Kastor break fast on tho rlvor, bo thoro," are ap pealing sentences of tho Invitation. To ollmlnato gambling and opium ' f.l .. f-tlMAan 1. ,til .AMNL HmuKlIIRT UII1UI1K muunu wii .- try, the Chlnnso nntlonal wolfaro so cloty In Amorlca Is establishing Industrial schools and persuading tho Chlneso to attend American schools whoro they may occupy their thought with trades nnd Industries. A. iii iiii iiiiiiimiiiiMinmiiiiiinMiiiniuiniiiuiiiiiiiiuiiiiiiiiiimii DON'T LOOK AT YOUR WATCH You take a chance when you try 'to look at your watch and run your car at the same time don't do it. Get a clock for your car from us. And, by the way Did you ever stop to think what it means to buy watches, clocks, jewelry anything in our line from a resposible firm, one whose business and reputation were built upon square dealing with its patrons? It means a lot everything, in fact, for upon it depends your getting value received. You know, there are automobiles and automobiles. Well, it is the same with Jewelers. If you patronize our store, we know you will return. H. J. WINTERS Jeweler and Graduate Optician 706 Main Street Phone 149-W H--HH4)tt4 o