INITIATION OF BOWSER
ii
Gay Old Boys' Club Explains What
. Was Done on That Occasion.
GIVES TRUE FACTS IN CASE.
Organisation Resent the Statement
Mad by New Member Concerning
Hia Treatment Taken to Hi Horn
by Membrps.
Copyright. by T. C. MeClur.
At the last mooting of the Cay Old
Boya club, founded by Noah Wehste
at the time be got out bis first diction
ary and numbering among Its members
such couvlvlnl persons a Thomas Jef
ferson. James Monroe and James Madi
son, the following preamble and resolu
tion were unanimously adopted:
"Whereas. An Individual calling him
self and known to the public as Samuel
Bowser made application for member
hip In this club and was elected and
Initiated and then came out In the pub
lic press and made statements deroga
tory to its high aud mighty dignity;
now. therefore, be It
"Resolved. That the secretary of the
Club be requested and empowered to
write and publish a statement contain
ing the true facts In the case over the
great seal of the club."
The statement Is as follows and
worn to before a notary public:
"Some time since Mr. Samuel Bowser
made it known to one of the members
of this club that be had long been look-
DRAPED AS TCLirS CAESAR.
ing for just such an organization and
'would feel honored to become a mem
ber. In due time the following list of
printed questions was sent to hlni to
fill out and return:
"Are you a baldheaded man?
"Does Mrs. Bowser stand in awe of
yon?
"Can you find your way home after
drinking the third bottle?
"Have you the mural courage to en
ter your house at 2 o'clock in the morn
ing, knowing that your wife is sitting
tip for you?
"How long have you been a game old
sport?
"IIow long have you had a desire to
join some club that was engaged In
saving the country?
"If given tiie choke of separation
from your wife or the club, which
would it be?
"Should you reach home in a dizzy
condition from any cause, can we trust
you to keep the name of this club un
sullied? "Do you babble in your dreams?
"Are there any back windows to your
house that you can climb into In case
you find the front door bolted against
you? f
"Do you agree to abide by all the
rules and regulations In force in this
club at the time of your initiation?
"Mr. Bowser's answers to the ques
tions as above were considered satis
factory, and he was notified that on a
certain night he should appear for ini
tiation. What passed between him ami
Mrs. Bowser when he told her of the
coming honor we can only guess at, but
It was probably all that could be hoped
for. As the first step In bis Initiation
be was required to slug a love song.
He selected 'A Brown Eyed Angel' and
tang with great feeling. At its finish
a fine of $21 was Imposed on him to
pay for the broken glass and the dam-
age to the celling, and he cheerfully
paid it.
Passed Ordeal NdMy.
"Mr. Bowser was then seated in a
chalr, and a poultice consisting of bran
and catnip was applied to his head.
Be passed the ordeal nobly.
"He was then asked to stand on bis
head to give bis brains a new sensa
tion. He hesitated for a moment, but
when Informed that the Hon. Charles
Sumner and all others had willingly
complied with the regulations he up
ended himself.
"There was a solemn and dignified
alienee while be stood on bis bead.
This club has never yet forgotten Its
dignity.
"When Mr. Bowser's brains had thor
oughly enjoyed the novel situation bs
raa given a bowl of rice and two chop
ticks and requested to eat. lie did
lairiy wen. mueea, me rew members
mat yet aoubtea mat be was a game
old aport were by thla time fully con-
(Tlnced that be was a good loser. I
The next step waa to request a
rrf 1 . " . '
Xmerlcan liberty. This waa to show
bis familiarity wltb the principles of
arovernment. He wabbled somewhat
that Is, be mixed Columbus, Napoleon,
tho pyramids, Washington and the bat
tie of Bunker Hill together, and once
or twice be started to say something
out Mrs. Bowser but, all thluga e8
eldeml. he got through very well.
There were no roars of laughter. All
about lilm was silence and dlgulty.
The t5oy Old Hoys have never yet for
gotten what Is due to themselves.
"Mr. Bowser was then posed on a
beer keg stnudlug on end and was
dravl as Julius t'nesur, while four
members of the club, provided with
potatoes, retired to the other side of
the hall and threw at him. lie ob
jected at, llrt. but finally announced
that be would go through with it to
spite Mrs. Bowser.
"lie was then draped as Napoleon
j and was given a glass of sour butter
milk to drink. lie drank It off with
the observation that there were no file
on him.
"lie was then seated on the keg.
with each bare fHt in a pail of lee
water, and told to look like Washing
ton crossing the Delaware. In the
Aii-se of live minutes Mr. Bowser as
. suiued twenty -seven different expres
sions of countenance, but be finally ;
struck the right one at last and held
it like a conqueror. There was no
cheering, however. The Gay Old Boys
never cheer. They show their appre
ciation by their dignity and silence.
"As the next step Mr. Bowser w
asked to name three different school
ma'ams he had fallen In love with be-1
fore he was twenty years old. lie
promptly named seven, but followed
it by an impassioned appeal that we
should not say anything to Mrs. Bow
ser. I'pou being asked if be was
afraid of her he denied that be was,
but explained that she had a little
way of making him uncomfortable at
tildes.
"As the last step In Mr. Bowser's In
itiation be was required to lie at full
length on his back on the floor while
forty members marched over him. This
was to show a proper humiliation of
spirit. Eaeh of the forty baited for a
few seconds and stood on the candi
date's stomach. Mr. Bowser was about
to protest, but w hen told that Jamea
K. Folk had submitted to the same
thing he remained silent.
Hailed a a Brother.
"The initiation thus concluded. Mr.
Bowser was taken by the arms aud
run four times around the room and
then hailed as a brother and a bottle
of champagne placed before him. In a
few minutes and without any prompt
ing from a member be arose and sang
'Old Black Joe." It was a different
'Old Black Joe' from any that we had
ever heard, and It was somewhat
mixed with 'Annie Laurie' and 'John
Brown,' but no criticisms were made.
me oay uiu uoys never criticise. j
"A few minutes later Mr. Bowser ,
asked permissiou to deliver an oration
in Latin. lie was not encouraged and
not refused, and he weut ahead. In
delivering his oration the name of Mrs.
Bowser was fremeutly used, but we
could not exactly make out what he j
was driving at. The Cay Old Boys j
never interfere in family matters. : j
"It was noticed iu a casual wuy that i
Mr. Bowser had got hold of a second
quart of champagne, but no remarks
were made. The Cay Old Boys never
remark.
"We were about to sing 'Auid Lang
Syne' and disjierse when Mr. Bowser
rose up and Euid that be would like to
put the gloves ou with some one for a
couple of rounds.
"The remark was laid on the table.
"Then the newborn member an
nounced that he was the champion
runner of the United States and that
he would run auy member of the club
a distance of thirty miles for any
wager named.
"The remark was laid under the ta
ble. "Mr. Bowser then asked the privilege
of making a few remarks on the death
of Cicero, but the meeting adjourned
without listening to him. though not
before appointing two members to see
him borne and unlock the front door.
That they did their brotherly duty by
him there is no cause for doubt. lie
was received at the door by Mrs. Bow
ser, and as far as the members coull
uatlhfy themselves he was not dragged
upstairs feet first.
"So far as this club is concerned, not
a word would have been said to the
outside world had not Mr. Bowser, by
his explanations to Mrs. Bowser, forced
us Into the attitude taken.
"G. QUILL,
"Secretary Gay Old Boys' Club."
Ter M. Quad.
Exceptional.
"It's Btrange." said the Impatient
man, "but I never seem able to get
any answer from that telephone oper-
ator."
"That's so," answered Mr. Meek ton.
"She 18 tne one woml In my experl-
ence wn( basu't seemed to enjoy Ullc-
In hack." Washington Star.
Rveng. or th Cast 8ho.
J
Quick 81.
cierk-So your little boy wants t
arum ehT We,j here.8 a bar ,0 to
one thtt., hard t0
N8rvou PapaThe rery thlngl
That's the kind I'll buy him at an
coat. Kansas City Timet.
Ne Takers.
Oeraldlne I bear that you mad
bet that I would accept yon.
Gerald-1 tried to, but I couldn't find
any takers. New York Preaa. .
tSr
t w". sj tr
V ' 1 JVM 11 .1
rnD Tilt IlfMTCFWlFF
UK Hit IlVJUoE.VVir L
To Clean Glove.
White gloves may bo cleaned In the
following way: liy them on a clea-t
table and rub Into them n mixture of
finely powdered fuller's earth nod alum
lu equal quantities Work this well In
and then brush It off. Afierwiu-d
sprinkle the gloves with dry bran and
Whiting, then slmke and dust them.
Another practical way to ele.ui gloves
Is wltb benxine or ..benxtno so;ip. Th
combination of these two Is death t
dirt. A small sum will purchase n
wooden hand, over which the glove Is
lipped ready for scrubbing. A scour
ing brush, much like n nailbrush lu
form and stlffcr as to bristles. Is dip
ped Into the cleansing mixture, and the
glove Is thoroughly scrubbed. It Is
hung to dry. and the glove stretchers
bring It Into shape when the cleaning
ta done. f"
To Fill Cracks In Furniture.
I'gly marks caused by silts or crack
ed places on furniture are easily tilled
In villi beeswax, and the mark Is nev
er detected. lu fact, this Is how furni
ture dealers cover such blemishes,
First slightly soften the lieeswax until
it Is like putty, then press firmly Into
the cracks and suioo.h evenly with a
thin knife. Sandpaper over the sur
rounding wood and work the dust into
the beeswax. This gives a wood fin
ish or color, and when the furniture
is varnished you will look in vain for
blemishes. It Is better than putty,
since putty soon dries, crumbles and
falls out. while lioeswax remains for
ever Just where It Is placed.
Washing Flannel.
Make a good warm suds with a white
soap tj put the flannels In Never
rub : r rub any soap ou then,
but siu - them wltb the hands and
let them soak a little while. Itinse
well In two or three waters to .ret the
soap all out. and always have the wa
ter the same temperature. Do not put
them In cold water. Ilnng up where
they will not freeze and Iron on the
wrong side while they are still damp.
They will lie soft and will not shrink.
Heats the Fla'iron.
The operation of heating an Iron Is a
wasteful process for the reason that
the beat from the !ed of fire Is largely
lost liecause of the indirect applica
tion to the Iron. In order to Increase
the efficiency of the process by con
serving the heat a new invention In
the shape of a new attachment for the
stove has Ioen brought out. The de
vice consists of a chamber made of
cas( ir0n.
which has a geueral con-
FLATIUOU HEATKK.
formation or outline corresponding to
that of an ordinary Uatiron. This
chamber has cast integrally with it a
cover of such diameter as to fit tbe(
bole or opening in the stove top, and j
the opening in the top of the chamber)
Is continued through this cover and of
such shape and dimensions as to allow
a flatiron to be easily Introduced to or
removed from the chamber.
1
Cleaning Frying Pan.
Frying pans, bake pans and bread
pans, after having been used for some
time, become rough and heavy, and It
Is impossible to wash them smooth
again. An easy and extremely effec
tlve way to clean them Is to set them
In a stove on hot coals. They may be
left there for an hour or more and
turned once or twice. When taken
out they wtll be aa smooth and clean
aa H-hen new.
Kitchen Hints.
To prevent sore mouth from eating
sliced pineapple do not slice the fruit
with the knife it is pealed with.
If you have salted food too much in
cooking, add a little sugar, and vice
versa.
Rub your bands with lemon juice as
soon as you have finished washing
dishes. It keeps them from chapping
and also keeps them white.
Teething Ring.
A child may be given a teething ring
or pacifier as soon as the teeth begin
to trouble, which Is usually at five or
lx months. The best kind of a teeth
ing ring is a rubber one. An ivory
ring is apt to make the gums bard, and
this makes it harder for the teeth to
come through.
Molding Tallow Candle.
Try out the tallow, add a little salt
snd a little powdered alum dissolved
in the bot tallow. Then pour into wet
candle molds. Tbla Is the way in
which our great-grandmothers molded
candles when they discarded the prim
itive mode of "dipping."
Tomato Remove Ink.
If you happen to spill ink on white
waab goods, before you launder it take
red tomatoes (the canned ones will do),
rub well on the Ink spots, let It dry
overnight, then put It In tbe beiler
wltb tbe other clothes to boll. It will
com out beautiful and white.
IU! II .1
ill'IM'
.1 id III il.
- 1 1 .
ll oil
II (III
ir write
on
I
1 1 ' i
ixi ii m , t rvu"i
I o cure a co.u i
e l..t.WIVr in. i
'lelx .til drilKl .
lie) ll ll lulls lo vine i,
i me it t li chi h )( ;.i,i
..
ll !.!.
lllllll
H I
A Memorable L,ay.
Uue ut the days wo re in ember with
,.iciuure, as well as with profit to our
ettlth, is the one on Mhich we bo
urne ncqiiitinled with Dr. King's New
.lie 1'llls, the pnitiloi) purillera ihitt
ore headache and biliousness, aud
iveep the bowels right. 'Shs at Lee
'(cull's Drug Store.
foO KKWAKD
A KKWAKD of (Ifty dilhn ia I . ie
i y ottered for information that will
b'ad to the arrest and rouvictlon of
""J" I'einon who has n'oi.-u ,ii. or
ot her property, from our Company ;
mid the same reward Is hereby olfeted
'or Information that will lead to the
arrest and conviction of anyone des
troying the property of the Company.
Cbas. I'm bach,
Secretary Lake Co. Tel. & Tel. Co.
HUf.
Notice.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCKRN,
ntlce Ih hereby given tlmt nil Irrlgn-
i, or nilllrnce ditches on nil trout
f rcama througlit I .like County, Ore-
uoii, must be screened with n hiiihII
incMh vln Hcn-eiilnn nt I heir bend or
junction with the main channel of
M renin. Also nil dams or obstruct
"iim on naid Htreaiiis nuist lie pro-
vlded with a ilh-lmldcr,orotht reasy
ineanM of passage, nt or near the mid
He of the main channel, m n to al
ow i lie pashnge of trout lit nil tlmei
of year, fin provided by law. Said
work to lie done at low water time
or to Ik-completed by Teli. 7, 10t7.
Ity order of J A. Itarbain.
Sneclal Deputy llsh Wnrdcn for
I.uketounty, Oregon
$1,000.00 Reward.
The Oregon, California & Nevada
Livestock Protective AHHoclatlon
will give $1000 Jtewnrd for the con
viction of nuy party or parties steal
lag horses, cvittle or inuleM U-longlng
to nny of the following riieinberri of
this AHHoclatlon:
! Cox & Clark, Cheuacan Land &
Cattle Co., Heryford Land Sc. Cut tie
' Co., Lnke County Land & Livestock
I Co., Warner Valley stock Co., Win
; W. Brown, Geo. Al. Joiich, Geo. I Inn
; kins. S. B. Chnndler, C. A. Itehart, N.
j Fine, W.A. Currier, Frank B. I!a tiers,
.f. C. HotchklHH, Calderwood BroH.,
1. J. Brattnln & Soiim, T. A. Crump,
CreHHler & lion tier, W. T. CrcHHler
Maud I. !:mnbo.
1 1' . M. Mn. i. Kit, .V-c & I rran.
I W. I'. JIkkykokii
O.M.F. M. (iliKK.V
S. li. Chamm.kic
Fin ante C
II you nre thinking of organizing a
tock company nee our newr aatnplefl J
FREE
The Great
AMERICAN FARMER
Indianapolis, Indiana.
The Leading Agricultural Journal of the Nation,
Edited by an Able Corps of Writers.
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something to think about aside from the hum
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Every Issue Contains an Original Poem by SOLONJL. GOODR.
Within the Next Ninety Days We Offer
Two For the Paice of One: The
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The Leading County Paper and The American armcr
BOTH ONE YEAR FOR $2
his unpa ralleled offer is made to all new subscribers, and all old
ones who pay up all arrears and renew within ninety days.
Sample copies free. Address:
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0
I. i
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ii. 1 1 I it'
Ita trip It
' A W'iinilil', lAtrvtew
M;VI!:V
-ALT UK AS
STAGE LINE
M K. lUnmn. I'rop'r.
Mfice In lilcbcr' More
". f levcn I.Mkeview daily, ei
'indsy at Ha. in. Arrive!
1 ii Mo at ti p. hi.
..if Altnnm tor I-nkeviuw at
i ' tuck a. m. or on the arrival I
I mi due from Madeline. Ar
ivei. in jkeview in 12 hour al
ei leaving Altura.
relKht
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Matters
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Given
First Class - Accomodations.
LAKHVIhW
PI.USM
STAGE LINE
P. K. Tavlor, Prop.
Office at IL Reynold' 5tore.
Mage leaves Ijikeview MoimUv, VI
iienl hi i hrtilar- at a Hi. arrtvti
I I'llleb Ml V It.. I etivel- 1 1 1 1 1-1 1 Uei
iayi. rim rxilnve nuil SMtunlsy at
in., arrive- Hi Ijtkcvicu al t p. in
I'a-Henger tare one way or $5 lm
round trip. Freight rate from Mar
Im to Nov. Int f .76 t liiunlre.l, iron
Nov. Ut mi May lnt f 1.IK) pet lnuulrn
S 1,250 Reward.
rtif llarnrr i-ouni)
Live hiiN k AxM ia
noli, ut lilrh am
a INI ll, I I I ;.ji7'H
r. want fur n l.trm e
.. In ruii
'I' "I .r'i..
"...lim .lira Im
i.ii. n in ii in in
' I " ! 1 1 Ion I
1. r r.'r l
or., i.r ii.t lintac
t.at on rlllit-i
il. m Hi-
r.ti..l lllimltitli't
Kanae, llarni r. ljiki
ami
riHia I ouiitlra
tioru-a . iil.-il tjen wu.i llora.n ml. I m
tbroiiKh thin ctioii II ll.. ri-iKirteil In tiji,
parn-r. II inn to n irifil. j,l, a- write or irli
iihoiic Tim Tin,, ! lii-rnlil. Main sl, ll;irii. Ore
Knu. . W .Kriiwii, lluriia. Oru-
Reward for Horses
I will give .",.00 n-ward for Inforin-
ntion that w III lead to the dlHcoverv
orany liorMe braiuled with an old
horseshoe brand ou bot h lawn, iilaced
iih In the cut la this advertisement.
with frenii triangle liraiiiliinderiieatli
the horHCHhoe. Tim trlanirle nlaceil
In hiicIi a manner an would cover tin
n bar on both jawH. AnlitialK iniiHt
in' found In the possession uf Home
person or persons.
To All Our
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eo veA"t
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CoPtnioMTS Ac.
AnoBni1l" lmlrh anil rtrwriHi'm mr
anlrklv tannin our epinii'M ft hf
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"i,.i1..iMrilT.iin.i..,ii,.l. HANDIlllnit nnl'aixiua
Will lM-. ll.'"" fftfiilirf l..r Ulliig -
I'ltinaii Ukn tiirunli Muim A 1 . Nftlrt
j uW iih.iul rlmrva, lu the
scicnunc JimcncaiL
a k in .,... H.l ttMihtv. lnrvMl rfT-
rnUll'.n i.C miT i l-i.llll.. I'Minml, 1-rim. 1
ri l.iur ni..nlli, fl. iww null
Co.8s,Bro,d"'' New Tori
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Th Sa F rind sco
Chronicle
The Weekly Chronlck
The Tf I
published
reah Nvtpaar
the entire Weal
$1.50 a Year
tarlariln poalaf lri of
tulua Siaiaa, laud ai Maitoe
It U kal kwmM, baaid
prtntlsr all the sew of the world
eaoh enk la an Iniarattlnj way
and tally lllutrtln( many
artlc!. It Hm (fecial jsrV
meat devoted te
ACRICULTURt
H 'KTICULTUR
OULTKY
LIV STOCK
M NINC
LITtRATURt
Fashions
and Sr OKTS
The ere presided
ed'tor htvlnf a thorcurh know -ed-e
ol their epeaiaitlea. V a
par deveted lo Arr culture
Horticu tire. Poultry and Live
Stooit ar-. well Iduatraled 'id
fl.led with mailer ef the created
tntereit t all e(a(d la Iheae
InJuairlei. ervry II a e being
wntlrn by thoae whe t-re In eloee
touoh vl'1 oondiUetta prevelllnf
on thla Ccajl. t
SEND FOR SAMPLI COrT
It wtll be Mai (r.
D yo waal Ami Oraele
Reversible Map?
Showing th Ua.t4 Staiae. Dw
mlnloa ef Cinaela m4 Nan Kara
Meiloe eete elwa. MAP OP
THS WOKLD, sreeeaUBf t view
la uate eBt1nwes sua, w'.ta alt
areta la trw areeerBea, the esv
tire aaHaoe W ta aUnk tfka
ether aM.
S4 O aaai f4 fetaa aad
-Veaiuy Ca-woieie" Ur tmm rw.
petw riid eat kU md
The Dihf end Mtp
OofyJjS titter
CM.
m mm
MUNN &
m.i.,K ur
m. w. d iuun x
. lr'!"ftn it,"
MM Jemajaja