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About Lake County examiner. (Lakeview, Lake County, Or.) 1880-1915 | View Entire Issue (March 8, 1906)
Bowser Most Popular Man Is Voted 8S Such by Memlr$ L, , of the Old Jays Club at Last Meeting. WOULD MAKE A SPEECH He Is Rolled on a Barrel His Head Is Sandpapered, and He Returns Sadder, but Witt. tCopyrtght. IJS. by MeClure, rhllllps tk Co.) R. BOWSER had come home from the othce half an hour ahead of time, and when Mrs. Bowser asked for an explana tion he replied : "1 am going out this evening, and taere are two or Uiree little things I Want to sw to Crst. "Is it to a club?" "Yes. There's going to be a big turn out at the Old Jays club this evening, mad a rote will be taken to see who la the most popular member." "But the last time you went to the Old Jays you came home mad. You aid they snubbed you." j "Snubbed me! Not on your life! ; You must have got me and some one ! ."WHO WOULD ATTEMPT TO WOBK ANT OAJAB ON MJK?" HK SAID. else mixed up. Why, they sent me spe cial notice of the meeting tonight and said I must be sure to be there." "I was in hopes we might go to the theater." . "We can go to the theater any night. but there won't be another sux-lf meet ing of the Old Jays for a year." "Weil, I hope you won't let them work any game on you," she said, as she saw that bis mind was made up. "Game? Work any game on me!" j be replied as he drew himself up to I his full height aud stood with folded j arms. "Who would attempt to work I any game on me? Who has ever at- i tempted it? Explain your words, if ' you please." j "They may try to make you believe : that you are a great man and that j that" ! "And what?" I "And coax you to sing a song and . then then" -And what?" ' "'Or get you up to make a speech and then then" "Woman, beware! You are close to the dead line! I)on't let me bear any more such talk. To hear your words a stranger would think I was a born fool and that you were my guardian." "Then we won't talk about it any more. I'll help you get ready, and do you g along and have a good time." Mr. "owner stood anil glared at ber for a tiiiinne and then marched off up stairs to change bis clothes. There was something else he wanted to say, but be bung off about It until bis good na ture was partly restored and he had fouie d jwu again; then he tried to look Indifferent as he said: "I haye got a hint or two that my friends are going to put me forward ! tonight, and it may be juBt possible I that I will be voted the most popular member." "That will be nice," replied Mrs. Bowser as she retied his necktie. 'You'd let 'em vote If they wanted to, wouldn't you?" "Why, certainly." "And if I am declared elected and they call for a speech" "Then make one, of course. Just get Hp and say that you feel honored; wouldn't trade positions with the pres ident of the United States; glad you are one of the Old Jays, and so on and so forth. Don't attempt too much. 'Now you are all ready." i "I may not be home before mid night." "Never mfnd If you are not home be fore daylight. As you suy, this thing i foccurs only once a yea, and you can j afford to dissipate a little. Sure you I "lave got your latchkey? Well, run j felonr now." I t Kkwopf'i umiiion ebttneo of front wat a' puzzle to Mr. Bowser, but after ablating it over for awhile he aeciaou abat It was one of those cases where It fwaa "Just like a woman" and arrived at Khectub with a feeling of anticipation. Vr-r vurred there was told two r, , . . - , . . ! In his own home, l.. i i o l", Bowser sat read- 13 Hi.i ". ' olng the purrlny n t v s came an uncer- tain nnlae at the front door, nolso u of some one pawing over It. When It a.i.1 continued for a couple of minutes ho went down the linll ami swung tha ioor kle open. With the aid of her et tended hand Mr. Ibuvscr entered. In plw of the met thut he wan barehend- rd and nil mused up. that hi coat plaster had been stuck on the ld of hi overcoat ntul h'.a patent leather 1'toes painted over with white paint It la Mr. Bowser. "Come In and tell nie all alout It," aid Mrs. Rowser as she hung up his coat and led him along to the pitting room. lie looked at her In nn owlish sort of way for a minute, anil then the tears started In bis eyes. When he eon Id con trol his emotion he said: "Well. I got there. Everybody glad to see mo. Everybody said I was a good fet'er. Everybody slaped me on the back aud said, Hello. Bowser.' " "And of course you bad a drink or two." I Ye." I "An 1 then the voting took place?" "Yes." "Aud wheu the votes were counted up it was found that you bad leeu de clared the imvt iHpular member?" "Yes. But how did you hear of It?" "Oh, I knew a Unit bow It would go," leplied Mrs. Bowser, with a laugh. "Well, you were elected. What bap lened then?" "AH the Old Jays took a drink at my expense. Then the president of the club congratulated me. nud we had another drink. Then they called on me for a speech." "And you remembered what I told j you. I hope?" "No. 1 uidn t. I couldu t remember nothing. I made a apeevta about Chrls t pher i'olumbus crossing "er Delaware, ::nd you just ought to have heard them oi l Jays clap aud yell. Mrs. Bowser, ;:hat sihhh.1i was a corker. Best speech I cer delivered in my life." UN utterances were getting thick and his neck becoming too limber to sup port his head, and of a sudden the tears came to his eyes agnln. "Well, after the speech?" queried Mrs. Bowser. "Everybody whooped and yelled and clapped their hands, and some of 'em didn't get over laughing for ten min utes. I can tell you I felt proud. Mrs. Bowser-proud and glad that I was Bowser. Had a drink. Had another drink. Had three or four drinks. Then the Old Jays Jumped on to me." "How jumped on to you?" "They said I was an old sport and a good feller, and they put me in a blan ket and tossed me up to the ceiling. Yes. tossed me up over a thousand times. It was awful, awful, awful! When they got tired of that they sand papered my bald head. Yes, Mrs. Bow ser, they sandpapered the head of your loving husband and scratched matches on it." His tears flowed and bis lip trembled, and it was a long minute before be could go on. "Then they rolled me on a barrel, painted my shoes and poured sand down my back, and when they let me go I was almost dead. I was all turned around and didn't know the way borne, ami it's a wonder I ever got here. Wasn't it awful. Mish Bowsher wasn't n -us' awful?" "I t0,'J -vou ' I was afraid they'd play some game on you. "Ye-h, you told me. but I didn't be lieve it. I believed you was jealous be cause I was such a great man. I was wronsr. and you was right. Will you forgive me. Mish Bowsher?" "There's nothing to forgive, but if I were you I'd resign from the Old Jays." "You bet I will! Never again will 'er Ole Jays make a Jay of me! Where's 'er cat?" ! "What do you want of her?" j "Wanter beg ber pardon too. I tell j you, Mish Bowsher I tell you It wasn't j ; right, and you know It, and the cat i knows it, and the Old Jays know It. I I and"- I j "I guess you'd better be getting to bed," said Mrs. Bowser as be sat blink- i ! ing at ber with his sentence unfinished, j "Yesh. Most popular Ol' Jay better , be gettin' to bed," he replied as be Uxk her arm and was assisted upstairs. M. QUAD. Ajax" Defying the Motor. "Come on, then! I'm wire haired, bo mind your tires!" Sketch, s She Didn't Like It. "Papa says I'm not old enough to Harry." "Did he? Well, I'll bet bo wouldn't have liked It If somebody had asked him to wait about marrying until be was long pasi miny. "Sir!" Cleveland Tlain Dealer. Complete. "What are your qualifications for an office boy?" "Well, sir, I can do anything from filling Inkstands to attending directors meetings." Sew York Life. I t Domini Who Failed .' To Follow the Rule . 1 A ' . .k' . f clergyman In tn . w" ,""" ,,n,' OOOD story U told of a young the suburbs who tried ami who was properly punished for trying to mke -fwnr before bla l,rl.K It I- well known rulo ainonKelwaj. men not to take a fee from a fellow foinlnlo for marrying him. The gvnee tl custom l. however, for the let man to go through the usual form and pre sent the officiating clergyman with an envelope containing the fee. The min ister then pays a graceful compliment to the bride and presents the envelopo I to her. Aware of this custom, the young minister thought he would inako a big showing before bis bride and placed $UK lu the envelope, mulling In anticipation of her surprise wheu nhe should ohmi it aud see what ber lover was willing to pav for being united to ber. The young man's consternation can be imagined when the other clergy mau calmly ptvketed the envelope and inride no movement to return it. The officiat ing minister had beard glowing report- of the rich bride his young friend was p'ttlng and divided that the fee would do liim mow gixnl than the newly mar ried couple and therefore for once de parted from the usual rule. The bride groom Is still sore about the $100, but the joke wus too good for the liest mau to keep to himself. Philadelphia Rec ord. llrlrlnn Hint Out. Emiloyer (to boy applying for osl-! tlon Io you smoke or swear, young I man? J Kid Now, if that's what yer lookln'J fer I'll send me kid brudder around.! He's got 'em all skinned for swearin' I and smokin'. St. Louis I'ost -IMspateb. Association of Idens. William was two aud a half years i old when a Mrs. Lord gave him a tiny i glass chicken. J Six months later bis mother asked him who gave him the chicken. Thei baby replied be did not know. "Yes, j William," she said, "you can remem-i ber." j He shook his head a minute, then re- j peated hurriedly: "Now I lay me down : to sleep. I pray the Mrs. Lord gave' it to me!" LIppiucott'a Magazine. Cheerfal Onllook. "Then you believe the world Is get ting better? You say you don't believe there will be any grafting twenty-five years from now?" "Not because the world Is getting bet ter, but the grafters are getting so thi k that there won't le any picking left by that time." Kansas City Times. Elaborate Kerens;. I Tommy Wrott (at the theater) You ; are going to take off your bat. aren't 1 you? Lotta Guph No; I am goiug to let this girl behind me feast her eyes on it all evening. She's got one Just like it Chicago Tribune. Postmortem. Native Yaas, Alkali Ike Intimated ylstid'y that the new sheriff was a boodler and a two faced liar. Tourist My, that ought to be Inves tigated! Native It is belli investigated by the coroner. Baltimore American. So I.angTU Jshlnir. 'lhe Bride Do you thluk they will know we are Just married by our looks? The Groom Well, the looks you give me are enough to betray you on the spot. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Measured by Time. "Do you consider frenzied finance a question of the hour?" "Tho hour!" echoed the magazine nnbllsher scornfullv. "It Is the nues- tlon of several years at least. Wash-! Ington Star, Time Works Wonders. "Papa, what Is the difference be tween a grafter and a philanthropist?" "Merely one of years, my son, A man is a grafter before be is sixty and a philanthropist afterward." Life. In Methuselah's Day, Salesman What size suit does the little boy weort Fond Mother Well, he's only sixty eight, but he takes usually a seventy-three-year-old size. Puck. Isaallr Irresistible. Ella The paper tells of a woman be ing arrested for resisting an officer, Stella I don't see bow anybody could resist a man In uniform. New York Press. Prro-Teeknlqae. Miss Isabel Smith Is ths nwld that w fairs, And oris morning this Isabel Smith waa on fire. I quenchad tbs wild flames with a bottla of stout. And you Mnt saw Isabel 0mlth so pirt out Upplncott's Maeoslna, FATTENING STEERS. Vftlae of Alfalfa nml rnrnatnlhs M Henna Feed, A bulletin reivnlly Issued by tlie Ne braska experiment alatlou gives (ho detail of a feeding cxvrlinent with ; two year-old range stivrs. the results j of which show very clearly that ths i character of roughness nuppl!cd In con nection with com Is a very luiportaut factor In the economical production of beef. Six lots of steers, with ten iu each lot, w ere ftnl experimentally for a period of six months. Without entering into the details of ths test with two ) ear-olds, as reported, the conclusions are tersely stated lu the bulletin as follows; With present price for Ixith corn and beef greater consideration must lx giv en to the character and ipmntlty of roughness fed In eoiiuivtlon with corn to fattening cattle. That alfalfa luiy Is pronouncedly su perior to prairie hay for Iwf produc tion and that the more rapid the ex tension of the area of the land devoted to the production of alfalfa, supplant ing the less valuabW and lower vleld lug native bay, the more rapid III be the production of wealth from our soil, That native prairie hay, If for any reason It Is most available for failing pnrjmses, snouiii not ie reii with corn alone, but rather w ith corn supplement ed with a small quantity of some pro tein food, Niieh as oil meal, cot toll svd meal or gluten meal, to give more near ly a balance of nutrients In keeping with animal requirement. That cornstalks cnt Immiillately aft-, cr the ears ripen possess a food value which cannot consistently be Iguor.sl by the fanner and that existing land values warrant the larger utilization of j this roiiK'hness by the adoption of methotls of harvesting that will make such material more valuable for fail ing purjioses. Knri In AVInlrr. Ewes should be handled very care fully through the winter. Have a roomy sluM, well ventilated, with plen ty of iHMlding and the dinirs always open until a short time tvforc lamb ing, when they should be closed nights. Your shed Kliould be warm If your ewes are to lauib In the cold mouths. You should have pure water and salt In the yard at all times. . THE HORSEMAN o; One peculiarity among trotting bred I horses that should be noted by breed era of market aulmals Is that of toeing i out, says Natioual Mockinau. So many j trottlug bred horses toe out either with I one or both front feet. This uufortu-! Date condition is highly trunsuiissible, ' and stallions that too out should uot be patronized. Mauy a really high class ! horse, or what would be termed a high ' class horse were it not for this Infirm ity, is made a third rater owing to the! Iositiou bis feet occupy lu relation to j his front legs. A toeing out hore can- i not bend and fold his kuee properly. ( tiive us a trial. Store in the brick He swings the malformed fool u round ; building next door to Post A King aa as he trots, flexing the knee at u wrong lovn, Lakeviow, Oregon. angle and endaugerlng the opposite. . knee. Even if inferior in other essen- i tlals, the horse that stands sipiarely I upon lsth front feet has a divided ad- vautage over the horse that tixs out j and will sell for more money for mar- j ket use. It Is true that many fast trot- j ters and pacers ti out, but one would ' have a serious undertaking uhu hlsj hands were be to attempt convincing the owners of such horses that they would be even better as raw animals If they stood sijuarely upon their frunt feet. ! The Idle Work Horse. As to the feeding of Idle work horses, It would be well if we could dispose of j this subject by saying there should i never be any, for this undoubtedly Is I the hardest treatment the work horse gets the occasional rest when kept ab solutely Idle, tied to the manger, with all the fodder before him be can con sume. Never allow the Idle horse to re- , ... , i . l main m the stable, nut see to it uc lias . a pasture or yard to exercise lu part of : every day, winter arid summer, or course materially cutting down the amount of grain and using more succu lent food, if possible. . 'or. American Cultlvutor. The Horse's Hoors. Get a hoof trimmer and keep the horse's feet In order. If neglected, horses sometimes get lame by the hoofs growing out too long aud cracking. If you Invest a dollar or a little more lu a trimmer you will never regret it. It is also important to keep the colt's feet straight. Look to the colt's feet when turning out In the spring and keep the toes cut short. Cheekreln and Blinders. I surely believe In humane treatment for horses, but will not give up the cheekreln, writes a correspondent of Farm Progress. But I want it used right, and when used right It is a ben efit to both horso and driver. If you want sore shoulders, all you have to do Is to take off the checkrelu Blinders should also be used with common senso. A horse will become quite tricky and shirk on you if worked without blinders. Yes, I have tried It, and if your horso does not you have a wonderful horse, and I would like to see blm. A horse can learn tricks all right. Heavy Horses In Demand. ITeavier and yet heavier horses are called for by reason of the scarcity of farm belp and the Increase In tho size of farm machinery, Csrrreomb and Brash. Tbe currycomb and brush are two articles which should bo made dally use of In every stable. Yes, it pays, and pays for looks alone, but do not consider looks anything but the least part of the good derived from it BUY THE r Trfor You Piireh Anr Ofhof Wrltn TH" N:w HOMI StWIKQ MACHICt Uh'.TU'l ONANOC, MASS, Many Snwlnj MsohlriM ar tnniltt (o i lo nl jl.ty, but tti "Slew lliit"n .i lo wi-r. Cur guaianty rtavar runs .'. W muk Swinit Karjiliv to u l a I c. .. jt "f frat-aiK lh "fw lluulo"n 'M; lie" 1 1 1 nil lll,'h-urnilr t.Tl 'w.rit1 in. ...i.n.ei SmiIU bj nulhorlai'd itouli-ra unlj , rum lAi.t uv Tho ct ri.ime dewing Macliino Co. WliSTERN STAGE LINE j . . ' Hico at tlie Mercantile Conipftny'n Store I.akevicw, Oregon, tlood 5totk ... Easy Coaches lai!y from Ijikeview to Illy, connect- : i . i. a . . .. . . . I in nun i 'any MMgo to the railroad. ,un . ., ,,, ,. , , j Uffic at t,", ll.v iloU' Mnnmii (I Pi Pa ,111, ix-HIbtP . mm NT il I ' Jr ."TV K-jfifvui 1 i f e niy.ir;': C. CASEHnER, Proprietor IMy, Oregon. Northern Stage Line. LAKEVIEW-PAISLEY. A. W. BRYAN. Proprietor. Leaves I.akeview at ( a. in. every day but Sunday. Returning, leaves I'uinley at (3 :30 a. in every day but Sunday. PaiMng-trs' are f j. Koaad Irla OFFICE-Keynul.la Wlnaflrl.l'a. Ukevlae lakeview Cigar Factory . A. Stokkmax, Prop, 7JC Maker f Havana and Domestic Cigars COCNTKV 0KDKKS BOLICITKU EDE HOTEL Mas. It. M. ( ALI.A011 ica. Proprietor. First Class i Accomodations j Huilding Has Iteen Enlarged I To Accomodate a Large Trade Dining Service Unexcelled... NEW PINE CKEKK, . - - OREGON A Chance for Speculators. KrlldoT T 1VII ourt ,,..... ..I 1......I . . . w -w. ...... . i . i-1 ii v. i v n i , , , uniIlmrovMi Bri,...ltn cheap, Inscription: KWV. K of Mscriptior SW'li oi M and f HE a. recuon iu. a., 'ill U I 11, L lf If f I ip.,uj n,, n, ji j-.. l . .!. imn IS n 'l -.11. . It uupirttoie piece oi lanu, locaiou m iioose Lake valley and wiil make some man a good raucb If you are thlnklng'of organizing a ntock company see our new samples of Wall Street engraved stock certlfl ates. tf The Smart Set A Magazine of Cleverness Magazines should have a well-denned purpose, uulne entertainment, amusement ami mental recreation ir motives of The Smaut Sict, tho MOST SUCCESSFUL OF MAGAZINES. Its novels (a complete ono In each number) are Uy tho most brilliant authors of both hemispheres. , Its short stories aro matchless clean and full of human Interest. Its poetry covering tho entlro field of verse pathos, love, humor, tenderness is by the most popular poets, men and women, of tho day. ltsIJokes, witticisms, sketches, etc., aro admittedly tho most mirth provoking. 160 PAGES DELIGHTFUL READING No pages aro wastedjon cheap Illustrations, editorial vaporlngs or wearying essays and ldlo discussions. Every page will Interest, charm and refresh you. Subscribe now-$2.50 per year. Itemlt In cheque, P. O. or Eipress order, or registered letter to THE SflART 5ET, 452 Fifth Avenue, New York, N. B. SAflPLB COPIES SENT FREE ON APPLICATION, OI't'M lIIIKITHV. I'n-l.li'til lliiMi.liirn KiNiMyi Vlea-l'riKlilftit t'liaa. W. ralrbank Hwrptarjr of Hlalii Klllin Itno Svnlaijr nlTrraaiiry IvnMv M. MliaW SiTri'tarjr nl War Dm. II. Tatl AtturiH'jr (inifral Wm. II. himdy I'oiiliiiaati'r Oi'lirral ii'o, H, ( (irlcl)uii Hwri'larjriif Navy.. Chan. J. Ilnnaiartn Socri'tary liui rlnr K. A. II Mi Iimim k H- rrlarr ol Airlrnlliira Jaim tt Hum Scerelarjr of t'lnioniTi o V. V, MiMratf flili'l Jtiallea Mi'lvlllnW, riilli r Vi'alluii Wamrr, P.M. IVnuluii Ciiiiiiiillunrr W. M, Itli hanla, U.S. I.aml Ciiiiiiillin-r ef ATS. (lovrnmr Urn. K. CliainlH'rlalii Hu irinin JiiiImk f, A. MnM i-rri'lary of Slate K. I. iMiiihar T train nr r, . Stimre AttoriiKy Oi'iirral A, M.rrafuri Hii.. I'lihllo lniriii-lln i. II. Arki'rman I'r I n i.r Palry amt KmhI Cmn . J. It. NMiliiu y 1. W. Ilalin I Mm M, Orarllt " I f. W. Kiihiin t liiiiKfr llnrniaii ' M. N.W llllainam I'. M. SiMiaiura. . l'onnri'iiiii'ii , aiSTM Jl'inrUU lilarati-r. Juita-iv II. I.. ! .. Jeliit Hi'iialnr Jolt it A. Lay Hi.ir'niat!vi-a Atlnriii'y ) U K I.. H ' 1 JkIhi H. .W.J. I" M. I. AMI OKHl K. J. N. WaiMin. i r, Hnlil. r Jtlltl( fliTk Slii-rlff Trraaurer. . ., Aaniir ,Hi-iiiii r , k4it.ivr I.Akl ItllKTT. 11. I'aly , A. W. Manrltis . K. K Kin. hart r. O. Ahl.lr.uil W. 1 1, Hnl Hrh.xil Hiit i. I). Wllllia Survi-yiir r. K. Mm.re Colli uiluliitlrr l W. A. I'urrli r ) r. w. Pkiii Sun k liiaiHM'tur J. V, Clarkxin TOWN OK I.Ak KVIKW . HlK-lllllS .. , . , Mayor Coiiiii'llnii'll , . . . KworitiT . .'I'ri aaiiri-r Harry Hull. 'VI l. I'. Mall.., i. w. Tuaki't J.N. Unii 1 j w. n. HnM. r j a. iin i.. r Itraert lnd Klnal I'roer. United Statist Laud Olllire, Lake view Oregon, Jan. I",) I'.KMl. NOTICE Is hereby given that Mich m l P. Harry of Adel Oregon ban fle( in it Ire of intention to make proof oi his desert-bun! cbdiu No. -l.'.O, for t Its E. half of Sec. lo TP. 40 S. It- l!7 E. w. M. iM'furo Keglstcr and Itivelver at Ijikevluw Ongoti on Monday, tho 1-th day of March, I'.KMl. lie names tee lollowlng; wltiieHseH to prove the complete Irrigation and reclamation of mild laud: John P. ! Harry of Add Oregon, John l-'ltxgvr- aid, Elmer MiCulley and Hotvrt Mc Cul ley of Ijkeview On-gon. f J. N. Wataoll UegUter A Guaranteed Curs for Piles. Itching, Iilind, Klecding or Protrud ing Piles. IriiKKsts refund money i( V.7A) OINTMENT fails lo cure any ease, no matter of how long standing, in 6 to 14 days. First application gives ease ajid rest, pOc. If your druggist hacn't it send .'ah; in stain) and it will le forwarded pot id by Paris Med n i Co. , St Ixiiis. Mo. Tbe Wall ntreet line of engrave. 1 rertllirntes of Mock and Itond blanks at the Examiner ollice. New samplo book received Monday evening;. It you want stock certificates we our ftiiipti'4 an I g 't irir p.-le tf WANTED: District Manager) to post nlgiiH, ad vertlse ami illi-trlbute namplcH. Salwry IS,t)t) weekly, 1.1.00 rtr .lay, for exiM-nscs. Stuto age and present em ploy men t. IIE. L SHEA It CO...'S!l Randolph St., Chicago. Jan. I'". 4 in. Nothing has ever equalled it Nothing can ever surpass it. Dr. King's fJev Discovery I OS I Ul titlMnnd frirs SOc a f l.N VULUS A Perfect For All Throat and Cure : Lung Troubles. Money back if It falls. Trial BotUas frss.