PUNGENT < r J a > V —A life insurance policy—never to bring spring poems to the editor in per­ son.— Judge. —A Philadelphian has invented a flying machine of a new kind, with which he will soon experiment. Why he is tired of life is not stated.— Norris­ town Herald. —Henry Karat went to sleep on a doorstep in New York and was robbed of his “turnip.” Henry says the police­ man was not on his “beet.”— Boston Bulletin. —A soft answer. “Whenever I can find a donkey with a loud enough voice and long enough ears,” he growled, ‘•I’ll brln» him up here and let him argue with you.” “Well, my dear,” she replied sweetly, “what subject do you want to discuss?”— N. Y. Graphic. —At last we know why “uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” A new­ ly arrived chiropodist from the old country announces himself as late corn doctor to the court of Germany, and tells us he has removed corns from sev­ eral of the crowned heads of Europe.— Life. —A young man denounces straw bon­ nets “because they chafe his ears.” Here, now, is a question for scientists. Can they explain how it is that a bon­ net worn by one person can chafe the ears of another person not wearing it? Eh? How’s that? O—well, well, now that may be. How stupid not to see it before.— Foreign Ex. - —Çljrg^J ’understand that Mr. Feathoriy paid me a very pretty compli­ ment to-day? Ethel—Yes? What was it? Clara—He said that among the most beautiful young ladies at the party last night was Miss Clara Smilh. Ethel (with a cough)—Yes, I uoticfd you among them. — Chicago TribCne. —Brown was ruminating on Archim­ edes and his lever. “Old Archimedes had a long head when he said he could raise the world if he had a long enough lever,” he said to Burns. “Well, fairly so,” was the reply, “but I have done better.” “How so?” “Raised some money with my lever.” “Whatdo you mean?” “Pawned my watch.”— Bum­ bler. —The mistress of a large establish­ ment. starting out on a “shopping ex­ pedition, ” asked the cook what she would bring her from the city. The cook replied, “I’d like mighty well to have a pah er fine shews, please, ma’am.” She was asked What size she wore. “I kin wah numbah threes easy, but on account ob de size ob my feet,* I reckon ye bettah git me number nine.” —Chicago Ledger. NEW TO-DAY MISCELLANEOUS BUSINESS PARAGRAPHS. A. H. & 0. 0. HODSON Dealers In Notice of Sale by Common Carrier. W. T. BAXTER. New Firm, New Goods, New Prices At the New Store of Stoves ta Fiw in. BAXTER & ROGERS HARDWARE, TINWARE & (Suooessoes to Baxter & Martin,) Third street, MoMinnville, Oregon, A new, neat and clean stock. Every articl< A No. 1. Fruit Jars, Butter Crocks, Colored Glassware, Cutlery, Cased Goods, To­ bacco, Tipes and Cigars. i Fresh Fruit and Vegetables in Season. Give us a call. Inspect our stock, and we will guarantee prices to suit vou. As the times will allow. MAN FOB I» BAT. A. A. KENYON We Make a Specialty of all Kinds of Job Work Par- ticularly Iron and Tin Roofing, Galvanized iron Cornioes and window caps. In faot we do anything that comes in our line, with neatness and dis­ patch and, CITY MARKET, KENYON & RAY, Proprietors. (Sncoessor to W. F. Bangaaaer.) Will keep on hand at all times the very best quality of fresh meats, that oan be ob­ tained in the market, and respectfully solicit a share of the public patronage. £^“Giveus a trial order and we will Bring on your designs and we will cut your guarantee satisfaction. patterns, and do your work, and don’t you forget it. Never Tell You it Can’t be Done. South east cor. 3d and C streets, McMinn- ville, Oregon. A. H. & O. O. HODSON. BOLLACK Third Street, McMinnville, Oregon. Brewstor’a Patent Keln Kohler. Your lines are where you put them—not under horses’ feet. One agent sold 12 doz. in 5 days, one dealer sold 6 doz. in 15 days. Samples worth *1.50 kkee . Write for term*. E. K. BREWS” Holly, Mich. J. Harv. Henderson, (Successor to L. BOOT.) Dealer in All Fresh Soods, Groceries, Flour, Bacon, and Glassware and Crockery. tj^Gooda delivered to i>urcbasers inthemtv Third St., bet. C. A D. McMinnville, Oregon. I am now fully prepared to do all kinds of work in JE A’ELERY, WATCHES, CLOCKS and all kinds of pins for lodges, trades, etc. Jewelerv made to order. Everything guar­ anteed, Good and reliable work. Cheaper than the cheapest where workman snip is concerned. Give me a trial. FINE WATCH REPAIRING A SPE­ CIALTY. M c M innville F urniture F actory W. H. BINGHAM. Propr. The Wai Bl, Manufacturer and Dealer In FINE FURNITURE Dining Station of the 0. C. R. R. of all kinds. McMinnville. Oregon. We kick i. worn-out old purse which Just received an extfa fine lot of Black walnut Furniture, and designs. Call and price my stook. Undertakers Goods of a we see in our pathway, until we hear the clink of gold in it, and then we TIIE GREAT clasp it to our bosoms. Other people’s tears are little drops *♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦<• ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ of salt water; our own are rolling floods of bitterness and woe. A baby comes to us on angels’ wings, but it hangs the wings up in a dark closet when its feet have ouce touched the earth. A beautiful polished shoe may hide a painful corn. The selfish mau’s stomach is larger ********************)K)KX**XOXX**X*)t(***'*jKM******M**M**D ’llllllllllllllfT HE DINING CAH I.I !N E/.Q//////////,'; ,■ than his heart. I THE DIRECT HOI TE! MO DELAYS! FASTEST THAIINS! That man is weak, indeed, who can ----------- O----------- not lift his eyes to Heaven. One hair in the butter does not con­ T T? ° CHICACO and all points EAST. MV W WWW XUGL w WW T,<'ke’« *°><* •» »11 PHOMINENT POINT* demn the roll. Throughout the Fait and Southeast. A woman doesn't have to dance very long until her knees are too stiff to TO EAST BOEKD-"PASSENGERS! bend in prayer. The devil paints his most alluring I3r BE CAREFUL AND DO NOT MAKE A MISTAKE—BUT BE SURE pictures on a backgronnd of gold. ------ TO TAKE THE------ It takes a long time for a lie to fade. There’s more honesty in the wag of a I dog’s tail than in the shake of a man’s hand.— Merchant Traveler. TRANSCONTINENTAL ■ROUTE- N ORTHER^ SHOREST! | BEST! QUICKEST! g mimi I English ¡MUeutint». ERNEST Family Grocery Stop®. Traveling Aphorisms. The Medicinische Wochenschrift makes the bold statement that English scientists are so far behind other na­ tions in their study of the causes of in- factious diseases that they are no longer in a positio n to make anything like a pertinent criticism upon such re­ searches. The cause is attributed to the English laws practically prohibiting «X penments on animals. Notioe is hereby given that the Oregon and California Railroad company, of Portland, Oregon, a common oarrier haring transport­ ed the personal property hereinafter deeorib ed, from various points in the state of Ore­ gon, to the town of MoMinnville in the state of Oregon, at the request of the owner or law­ ful possessor thereof, and having safely stor. ed and kept said property, and by virtue thereof having a lien upon the same for its just and reasonable charges, and more thau three months having elapsed sinoe said transportation and care has been performed, and no part of said reasonable and just oharges having been paid, all persons whom it may oonoern are hereby notified that said Oregon and California Railroad company by its reoeiver wi'l on the 28th day of March 1S87, oomniencing at eleven o’clook a m , sell at public auotion to the highest bidder, for cash in hand, at the warehouse of said oonipany, in the town of McMinnville, in the state of Oregon, all and singular said personal property or sufficient thereof to satisfy said lein and oharges and the ooets and expenses of making said sale. Said prop­ erty having been shipped, consigned and transported between the points hereinafter named, and being more particularly de­ scribed as follows: Lot 1 from Portland, 3 Pieces Bowling Alley, marked E. B. Berry. Lot 2 from Portland, I bdl. w. paper, markrd P. F. Brown. R. K okhlkb , Receiver of the Oregon A Cal. R. R. Co. Portland Oregon, March 3, 1887. And see that your ticket reads via Portland and ------- St. PAUL or MINNEAPOLIS,;_ _ _ _ JT. Multner, Prop. (Late of the St. Charles.) This Hotel has just been refitted and new­ ly refurnished throughout, and will be kept in a first class style. The table is supplied with all the market affords, and guest?, oan rely upon good clean beds, and comfortable rooms. Special accomodntioiis for commercial travelers. JOHN J. SAX, Has his Feed Chopping Mill In Running Order, —AND— Will chop Feed for $2 per ton or one-tenth toll. ----------(o)---------- Farmers and others having grain to chop oan oome to my mill, and attend to any business in the aity to better advantage than driving two miles oat of town to get their ohopping done. JOHN J. SAX. MoMinnville, Or. Star Restaurant, - AND— Lodging I To avoid changes and serious delays occasioned by other routes. Through Third Street, opposite the Braly Bank, Emigrant Sleeping Cars aro run on Regular Express Trains Full Length of the Line. Berths Free. MoMinnville, .... Oregon. LOWEST RATES! ------- CF QUICKEST TIME I O. C. Hiatt, Prop. ------- o------- GENERAL OFFICE OF THE COMPANY, No. 2 Washington St., Portland, Oregon. CHARI.TON, Geaeral Western Patienter Agent. Finest domestic and imported cigars. Board and lodging. Meal« at all hours. Publio patronage respectfully solicited