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About The Yamhill County reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1886-1904 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 27, 1901)
SOME Humors Peop'e They take possession of the body, and are Lords of Misrule. They are attended by pimples, boils, the itching tetter, salt rheum, and other cu taneous eruptions; by feelings of weakness, languor, general debility and what not. They cause more suffering than anything else. Health, Strength, Peace and Pleasure require their expulsion, and this is j»osi- tively effected, according to thousands of grateful testimonials, by Hood's Sarsaparilla Which radically and permanently drives them out and builds up the whole system. No Deferred Payments. “Is your daughter learning to play by note?” "Certainly not,” answered Mrs. Cumrox a little indignantly. We pay cash for every lesson. The idea!” I ant sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved my life three years ago. —Mas Titos. B obbins . Maple street, Norwich, N. Y.. Feb. 17,1900. Taught by Experience. I “We shall need,” said the officer who was arranging for the government expedition, “food supplies for six men and a boy?’ “Supplies for eight men,” said the secretary, jotting it down. “What else?” Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth- • trig Svrup the best remedy to use for their ' children during the teething period. Made in Germaay. The much talked of Chinese astro nomical instruments brought from Pekin and now in the possession of Germany have been proved to be the work of a German named Gogeissl, who died in.1771. He was attached to the court at Pekin and was presi dent of the royal observatory. HOW’S THIS? We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any Case of Cattarrh that can not be cured by Hall ’s Catarrh Cure. « F. J. CHENEY &Co., Props., Toledo, O. We the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney for the past lé years, and believe him perfectly honorable in all business transactions and fin ancially able to carry out any obligation! made by their firm. W ist & T ruax , Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, W alding K innan & M arvin , Wholesale Druggists, Toledo. O. Hall’s Catarrh Cure is taken internally,acting directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Price 75c p« r bottle. Sold bv all druggists. Testimonials free. Hall’s Family Pills arc the best. The Golden Hint. “I see that petroleumi s being used for laying dust. Something new, isn’t it?” Scarcely. Petroleum has been ‘lay ing dust’ for John D. Rockefeller for nearly forty years. ”—Cleveland Plain dealer. CiTC Permanently Cured. Ko fits or nervousner Illa alter first day'. iic»f l‘r. Klis.’s Great Ncrvr Restorer. Bond for FKKI'l 8'2.00 trial bottle ami treat ise. ba. K. li Kljss. Ltd .y.u ArchSt.*Philadelphia.Pa The Difference. Pater—You are very forward, sir. In my day the young man waited until he was asked to call. Young Man—Yes; and now he waits until he is asked not to call. —Tit Bits.. CASTOR IA For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought SJnaTureof Perhaps Daisy Lives in Boston Daisy-^I have made up my mind to enter society. Hardhead—What has your mind got to do with it?—Smart Set. CANCER Sufferers from this horrible malady nearly alway9 inherit it — not necessarily from the parents, but may be from some remote ancestor, for Cancer often runs through several generations. This deadly poison may lay dormant in the blood for years, or until you reach middle life, then the first little sore or ulcer makes its ap pearance— or a swollen gland in the breast, or some other part of tne body, gives the first warning. To cure Cancer thoroughly and perma nently all the poisonous virus must be eliminated from the blood—every vestage of it driven out. This S. S. S. does, and is the only medicine that can reach deep- seated, obstinate blood troubles like this. When all the poison has been forced oul of the system the Cancer heals, and the disease never returns. Cancer beginsoften in a. small way, as the following lettzr from Mrs. CShirer shows Etc CURIOSITIES After of thirty passers-by had pulled a wisp out of sume cue of the many bales of excelsior piled up on the sidewalk, the traveling salesman looked up at the proprietor of the excelsior place, and catching bis eye, they both began to laugh. “How ninny does your count show?” he asked the salesman. “1 noticed you have been counting them, same as 1 do sometimes.” And when the salesman told him the proprietor remarked that it was about the usual average, al though he had often counted as many as nineteen out of twenty passers-by who could not resist the impulse to take a pull at the bales. “It is a very funny thing, What makes people do that?” asked the young salesman. "Well. 1 don't know, really. I just know this, however, that it is a con- founded nuisance. I don't mind to have about fifteen to twenty-five pounds of my goods wasted every day just be cause ii lot of people have no control over their hands, but just look at that sidewalk! You'd think it hadn't been swept for a month, wouldn't you? Well, that sidewalk has been swept four times this morning. "As I say. It isn’t the stuff'that’s wasted I eare about, but I don't want the bother of keeping the sidewalk free from excelsior, as my neighbor here next door insists when everybody that passes throws some dow n for my tuen to sweep away, and if I don't have it done then my neighbors fight with me about it. I have twice had to go io court nlioyt it. "It’s the same thing with hay. straw or hair for mattresses. Some people, even, can't stop themselves from pull ing billboards all to pieces as they walk along. No, I couldn’t say what makes people do it. My bookkeeper inside there is quite a dab at phrenology, and he says it's the bump of destructive ness makes people do that. But, then, what makes me do it? 1 ain’t anxious to waste my own goods, and I often take a pull at a bale myself when I ain't thinking, I guess it's human na- ture, that's all. You're going, are you? Well, so long. Drop lu early next week. I expect I'll have something for you then. “Now. just look at him.” exclaimed the proprietor, with a grim smile, as the salesman walked away. "There he goes, too,” and the salesman, passing by one of the bales, pulled out a gen erous wisp and was absent-mindedly crumbling it away In his hand as he walked off. Song with a Sentiment. People living around the vicinity of 5th and Chestnut streets had a good laugh one day last week. A little ne gro girl is in the habit of coming to the pump at the corner to get water. She brings her bucket along, and, being too small to handle the pump, she usual ly begs some passer-by to pump for her. They always accede. The other day she had reached her destination with tile bucket, and as she did so a tall, sober looking gentleman passed. "Mis ter,” said the small African damsel, “won't you please till my bucket for me?” The gentleman instantly halted, put the tin bucket on the spout and started to p ip. As he did so. the negro bloom er began singing in a loud voice. "1’se got er white man wukkin' for me.” The familiar tune of the variety song struck the bystanders and passers-by, and they were convulsed with the sit uation. No so the pumper. He evi dently did not know anything about comic songs of that character, and did not see the joke, for he went on pump ing gravely until the bucket was filled and handed to its songful owner. You couldn't get any of the fellows near there now to till that bucket un less the girl could be bound over to keep the peace while they pumped.— Louisville Tinies. Sea Waler for His Wrist. is the greatest of al' blood purifiers, and the only one guaranteed purely vegetable. ‘"etable. Sene S__ for our free book or Cancer, containing valual le and interest ing information about thia disease, and write our physicians about your case. Wt make no charge for medical advice. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATLANTA. GA. GURU WHERE Ad ELS* FAILS. Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use in time. So!d by drnggi-t*. Ilia Conception of Punishment. Once when the Secretary of ’’ ar, Eliliu Root, had approved a punishment of an offender in the Philippine« with a severity which seemed somewhat dis proportionate to the crime, a visitor ventured to ask him whether lie did not consider such a penalty a good deal like the old law of England, which hanged a man for stealing a sheep. "Certain ly." was the answer, "and we Impose it in the same spirit, not as an expiatory sacrifice, but as a preventive. The thief was hanged, not because a stolen sheep was regarded as worth a human life, but in order that more sheep should not be stolen.” A Neglected Apple. Forfeited Bonds. Making Bondsixen Pay (in Frozen Dog)—I sup- Mrs. Benham—You used to say would lie liable to starve that I was the apple of your eye. this place. ” Benham—Well what of it? Bill—Well, if he lievd Mrs. Benham—Nothing, except that :h to starve to death he’d you dont seem to eare as much for fiuit as you once did. ■lay, Straw, 1 n> pul. . Ahern, the telegraph expert, put his brawny arm over the launch's side and let It drag through the salty water. He had half a dozen reporters in the launch, all armed with specials to file at the Highlands of Navesink, and af ter the launch had slipped through four miles of the Shrewsbury the operator withdiew his arm and looked at bis wrist. •'There,” said he, according to the New York Mall and Express, "I a rn good for 10 000 extra words,” and he nibbed the wrist In a patronizing way. Somebody asked him for an explana A small pimple came on ?ny ja’ i about an inch tion and he said: below the ear on the left side of n/y face. It gav« "I have found that by placing the xne no pain or inconven- Cince, and I should have wrist in cool water for half an hour any forgotten about it had it operator is able to double his energy not begun to inflame and itch ; it would bleed a and endurance for the following twelve little, then scab over, hut hours. The wrist Is the mu in machin x mid not heal. This continued for sometime, ery of the telegraph operator. Its mus when my jaw began to cles and nerves are dependent upon per swell, becoming very painful. The Cancer be fect action. This Immersion in the sea. gan to ent and spread, until it wasu large as a is worth considerable money to the half dollar, when I heard company. Not only can I send quick of S. S. S. a nd determin ed to give it a fair trial, er, but I can send better Morse and and it was iemarkable with greater endurance.” what a wonderful effect it bad from the very beginning ; the sore began tc heal and after taking a few bottles disappeared entirely. This was two ye rs ago ; their are stil no signs of the Cancer, and try general heat'd: Continues good.—M rs . R. S hirer . I.a Plata. Mo A Dark Outlook. OF HABIT. District Attorney Philbin of New York City has devised a winning plan for making bondsmen pay up forfeited bail, lie puts the bonds- men's property into the hands of a receiver and then it is a ease of pay or bring in the man. The scheme China's Beer Imports. is causing all Borts of consternation China lias imported this year more among bondsmen, to say nothing of en- bottles of beer from Germany than the criminals. any other country in the world. The presence of the German army is held in part res}>onsible for this. SCHOOLS ANO COLLEGES. ; r. The Modern Maid. She—Do you think it is safe for me to go out on the lake alone with you ? He—Why not? She—Well, the last time I went the young man kissed me.—Town Topics. Authority and Pay of Admirals. Novel Decorations. Christine Nelson has two of her rooms in Madrid decorated in a rather novel fashion. The bedchamber is papered with leaves of music from the operas in which she has sung and the dining room with the hotel bills she has collected in her tours through the world. Medical Profession Hereditary. A Chance for Poor Lovers. In Korea the medical profession is __ A curious custom exists in the heriditary, passing from father to son. The basis of medical study is a work Prussian royal family of selecting in 1!) volumes, written about 2,000 every July a half dozen young couples years ago. too poor to marry and having them wedded in the garrison church at Potsdam on the anniversary of the Another British Sporting Man. death of Queen Louise of Prussia. Sir Thomas Lipton hardly stands for so prominent a representative of After the ceremony each bride re British sport as Lord Lonsdale. The ceives a gift of a sum equivalent to latter owns the finest pack of hounds about $125 and a handsome family Bible. in England, is a splendid boxer, rides and drives to perfection, and has earned fame as a yachtsman, hunter and explorer. He is also patron of 40 church livings. Parental Sarcasm. St. Louis’ Rag-Time Music. Mrs. James I,. Blair, of St. Louis, has stirred up the musical circles of that city by reading a paper before the Congregational club in which she affirmed that “rag time” music in that city was more popular than clas sical music and that the city had ut terly failed to show any appreciation of music of the highest quality. Academic and Collegiate Halls. COURSES—Classical, Literary. Scientific and Commercial. For particulars apply to REV. E. P. MURPHY, President, University Park. Pori land. Oregon BISHOP SCOTT ACADEMY PoillHiid, Oregon. Founded 1870. The extension of the use of elec tricity in British win ships in place of steam for subsidiary purposes was made the subject of a series of experi mental tests in November. At the present time the capstan, steering engines, ventilating fans and derrick hoists are worked by steam power. Footol Morriaon StrML Buggies. Plows. Win 'mill« ami Write for Illustrated Catalogue. ARTHUR C. NEWILL, Principal Machinery. BESTFORTHE BOWELS Boiiers ami Engines. Pnmos an i General See us oeiore buying. Knolvn and solim Ivhereber good crops are groivn. If yon haven't a regular, healthy movement of the bowel« every day. you re sick, or will be Keep your bowels open, and be well. Force, in the shape of violent physic or pill poison. Is dangerous. The hmootlicsi. easiest, most perfect way of keeping the bowels clear and clean la to take Sold everywhere. CANDY 1902 Annual FREE. D. M. FEFRY A CO. CATHARTIC KucaieU ABSOLUTE KEEP YOUR BLOOD GLEAN SECURITY. Pleasant. Palatable. Potent Taste flood. Do Good. Never Sloken. Weaken, or Gripe. 10c. 50c Write for free sample, nod booklet od health. Address Sterling ReiiHh ('•■paay* Chicago, Montreal, Naw fork. 32SS Detroit, IW*ch. Holiday Resolutions Keeley Cure buie relief from liquor, opium sad taoaaoJ habits, bend for particulars to Keeley Institute, Patents—Send no Money But a model or drawing with a description, and we will advise you. J. S. butfie A Co., (Dept. A) Washington, D. C. 1 KUL Carter's i ' W nienti.m this paper. Mnk«* I’reNentable and Valued Gift*. ' i Must Bear Signature of No. Si-1901. HEN writing to advertise» please PENDLETON INDIAN ROBES * » 1 Í • » J r-< Little Liver Pills ■ c •« S. ■ v ; ■ i ‘ Pendleton Indian robes, made of l‘ure Oregon Fleece Wool, are manufactured bv the Pendleton Woolen Milla and shipped by them to nearly every Indian Reservation in the united States. They are 60 by 70 inched in size, of beautiful Indian Denlgim and rich color combinations. Nothing but the best grade of dyes are used, consequently the colors are warranted to be absolutely FAST. JUST THE THING FOR A PRESENT. Nothing is prettier than one of these beautiful Indian Kobe«* for decorative purposes in the home, and for fanev Corners and couch or lounge covers they are un excelled. They also make excellent steamer Ruga, slumber Robew, Veranda IVrapn. Lap Robes, and for i raveling are indispensable, being soft and warm and can easily be folded into a neat package, which will weigh but four ppunds. Remit us $.>.00. stating color wanted, and we will send you a genuine •• PEN DI.ETON," express charges prepaid. Write us at>out Indian photographs. We refer to any bank or express company in Pendleton. Í See Fac-Simile Wrapper Below« CARTERS F3R DIZZINESS. FDR FOR FOR FOR FOR BILIOUSNESS. TORPID LIVER. CONSTIPATION. SALLOW SKIN. THE COMPLEXION THE INDIAN ROBE AND PICTURE COMPANY. Pendleton, Oro It Is Well To Be Prepared. Nn telling about this climate of ours sunshine one minute, storm the next. It pays to invest in time. ALLESINA'S ANTI-RUST UMBRELLA FRAME protects and will practically last a lifetime. Let us explain why our umbrellas do not rusL WE MAKK T11 E UKLFBRATED CURE SICK HEADACHE She'd JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon, Can give you the best bargains In FOR HEADACHE Substituting Electricty for Steam. MITCHELL, LEWIS & STAVER CO, First and Taylor Sts. Portland, Oregon. Regulate the Liver. An admiral may command a fleet Irregularity kills. At the first sign take Cas- ■■i: :> < uiD'.y Cathartic. k << i > a box handy at or fleets; a rear admiral may command • home, in your pocket, in your desk. All drug a fleet or a squadron, or division, gists, 10c, _5c, .’4)c. under an admiral or vice admiral; an admiral receives $13,500 whether Well Bred. on sea or shore duty; the first nine Gentleman—That looks like a well rear admirals receive at sea $7,500, bred dog. on shore duty’ $6,375; the second nine Owner—I should think he was well at sea $5,500, on shore $4,675. bred. Why, he won’t have a bit of dinner until he’s got his collar on! “Yes,” said Farmer Corntossel, "our boy Josiah is devoting a good deal of time to games and light liter ature jes’ at present.” “Isn’t that rather an unprofitable result?” “Yes. But, you see, all the cabinet offices an’ big diplomatic places is filled; so I reckon Josiah feels that there ain’t much else fer him to do at present.”—Washington Star. ...Columbia University... DRILLS Are best bec.n«e they are thoroughly well rnivle of be.t material. Are sironirvr ami heavier than otnerx, hence more ilnyable. The feed la absolutely accurate, reliable ami positive, amt will hi , same quantity, up or down hill or on side hill Hoosier brills are cheapest because BEST. We keep full stock of repairs at princi* pal poiutk in the Northwest. Catalogue free. JOHN ALLESINA, 3OB Morr/ion St., Opp. Poptofttop. Give Him One. “Madam,” said the hungry tramp, "I haven’t had a bite for a week.” “How extremely careless of you, ” she replied, as she called the dog.— Denver Times. Foolish. Robert Lowe, afterwards Lord Sher- brook, once saw a deaf member of par liament trying his best to catch with his ear trumpet the words of an ex tremely dull speech. “Just look at that foolish man,’’said Lowe,"throw ing away his natural advantages. Her Logic. He—You will admit that man is the most sensible of all animals? She—I’ll admit that he thinks he is. It is for that reason that it is so easy for a woman to make a fool of him.—Boston Times. Delaware Without a Senator. Delaware was, at the lieginning of the present session of congress, entire ly unrepresented in the senate, though it was one of the original thirteen states and has had since its admission an almost continuous line of senators, some of them of very much more than local reputation. Horseshoes Draw Electricity. A writer states that the difference in susceptibility to electric shock be tween horses and men is largely a question of shoes. The sole of a man's shoe has a very high resist ance, but a horse with his four iron shoes, fastened on with iron nails, is apt to get the full benefit of the cur rent. WHY GET SOAKED WREN ■Z/ 5/z/ OILED CLOTHING- B AC- OS Ftk.0W l “VgyWHtRt WILL KCDTOUKT IN TMt NABOWT STOCH’ ¿kefs Çerxtly ßcts pieêksarx ¿\cts Beneficia. Uy, ^cts truly as a Laxative, Syrup of Figs appeals to the cultured and the Well-informed and to the healthy, because its com ponent parts are simple and wholesome and be cause it acts without disturbing the natural func tions, as it is wholly free from every objectionable quality or substance. In the process of manufacturing figs are used, as they are pleasant to the taste, but the medicinal virtues of Syrup of Figs are obtained from an excellent combination of plants known to be medicinally laxative and to act most beneficially. To get its beneficial effects—buy the genuine—manufactured by the -Sa.rx Frir\ci«co, Csl, new York.N Y. Price, fifty cents per bottle LOOK FOR AAOVE TBAif HAK MWASF »IMITATI0H1 CATALOGUES FBEt SHOWING FULL LINE O’ GA RHE NTS ANO MATS A J TOWER CO DO3TON.MA53 taJ