IVhat are Humors? They are vitiated or morbid fluids cours­ ing the veins and affecting the tissues. They are commonly due to defective diges­ tion but are sometimes inherited. How do they manifest themselves T In many forms of cutaneous eruption, salt rheum or eczema, pimples and bolls, ..nd In weakness, languor, general debility. How are they expelled ? By In Hu Pockets. CRITICAL PERIODS Mrs. Hardrun—Do you have to ask your husband for money? In Woman's Life Are Made Danger­ Mrs. Sly—No, indeed! Mrs. Hardrun—How generous of ous by Pelvic Catarrh. him. Mrs. Sly—Yes; it is awfully good of him not to sleep in his trousers.—Ohio State Journal. Two Scottish Newspapers. The most influential newspaper in Scotland is the Edinburgh Statesman, which also builds up the system that has and the oldest is the Dundee Adver­ suffered from them. tiser. They are edited, respectively by It is the best medicine for all humors. Sir John Leng and Charles Cooper, both of whom are Englishmen and na­ tives of Hull, Yorkshire. The Leader's Definition. Hood’s Sarsaparilla "What is a contract?” asked the young hopeful. His father, the great labor leader, looked up from his paper and smiled with pleasure at this evidence of a de­ sire for knowledge. “I’m glad you asked the question, my boy," he said. “There is consider­ able misconception as to the meaning of that word, and it is well that you should get the thing straight while you are still young. A contract is something that binds the other fellow without affecting you.”—Chicago Post. Beliiilon Lowing Ground. The country is becoming agitated over the statement that religion is losing ground. This results in countless discussions until the agitation runs its course, and still re­ ligion flourishes. It is only useless things that deteriorate. The finest recommenda­ tion of Hostetter's Stomach Hitters, the Mrs. Mathilde Richter. great stomach strengthener, lies in the fact that it has lived foriifty years in spite Mrs. Mathilde Richter, Doniphan, of hundreds of imitations, and is renown­ ed for its cure of dyspetisia. indigestion, Neb., says: “I suffered from catarrh for many biliousness, nervousness and malaria, fever and ague. years, but since I have been taking Knew His Ground. Stop that reporter. Aid—What! Don’t you want to have him send home an account of your heroism? No, I don’t want to be an American hero This signature is on every box of the gennlas for a week, and a punching-bag for the Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets rest of my life. tbs remedy that cures a osls in one day Teachable. Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken of as a cough cure.—J. W. O’B rien . 322 i Third Ave., N., Minneapolis, Minn., Jan. Have 6, 1900. Wimbleton—Hello, old man! you taught you dog any new tricks His Favorite. yet? Quimbleton—Yes; I’ve been teach­ ■ “What is your favorite play?” asked ing him to eat out of my hand. He ate the friend. “Ordinarily,” answered a big piece out of it yesterday. i Mr. Stormington Barnes, “It is Ham- let. But when I need the money it HOW’S THIST is Uncle Tom's Cabin.” Pe ru-na I feel strong and well. I would advise all people to try Pe-ru-na. As 1 used Pe-ru-na and Man a-lin wliiie I was passing through the change of life, I am positively con­ vinced your beneficial remedies have relieved me from all my ills.” Pe-ru-na has raised more women from beds of sickness and set them to work again than any other remedy. Pelvic catarrh is the bane of woman­ kind. Pe-ru-na is the bane of catarrh in all forms and stages. Mrs. Col. Hamilton, Columbus, O.. says: “1 recommend Pe-ru-na to women, be­ lieving it to be especially beneficial to them.” Send for a free book written by Dr. Hartman, entitled: “Health and Beauty.” Address Dr. Hartman, Columbus, Ohio. Breeding and Feeding Microbes. We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any case of Cattarrh that can not be cured by Hail'l The intestines are full of disease germs that Catarrh Cure. become active and dangerous in constipation. F. J .CHENEY & Co., Props.. Toledo, O. Cascarete kill and expel them. Druggists, 10c, We the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney ___ ___ If you can't say anything good of a forth-* past 15 veers, and believe him perfectly 25c, 50c. man you can at least have the courtesy honcrwble In all business transactions ami fin­ Hard to Suit. ancially able to carry out any obligation» made to sit around and hear other people say by their firm. "Billinger is a little too captious.” W bt 4 T ruax . “What’s the matter with him?” “He prayed for rain, and then grum­ „ „, _ A Wholesale Druggists, Toledo. O. bled because the water wasn’t iced.”— Hall, «CatarrhCure is taken internally,acting directly on the blood and tnuoous surface* of Cleveland Plain Dealer. bad things. Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, W aluivo K innan & M arvin , C8TC5 -Permanently Cured. So ¡its or norvousues 11 I V after iirst lay’s iMtofl'r Kline’sGr<-at Nerv« Restorer. Send fur Fit EH 1'JWO trial bottle and treat­ ise. D r . It. H K line , Ltd..*>31 ArchSt.,Philadelphia,Pa, the system. Price 7ftc per bottle. Sold bv all druggist*. Testimonials free. He Was Spry. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING Hall’s Family Pilis are the best. When vou take Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic, Customer (to waiter)—Here, John, because the formuláis plainly printed on every bottle showing that it is mmnly Iron and Qui­ take my order—ox-tail soup, roast One of Them. nine in a tasteless ionn AloCure Ne Bay. 50c. lamb, fried sole, green peas, onions, Mrs. Hasleigh—Your friend was at Did Not Mind a Drop. the exposition? I suppose she saw many rare and curious things? City Barber (to Scotch visitor, after The Boarder—Yes, ma’am. He saya» shaving)—Little bay rum, sir? he had an excellent cup of coffee. Scothch visitor—Well. I’m nae found o’ rum, but I wadna rafuse a drap o’ Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth­ whiskey.—Philadelphia Press. tomatoes, cucumber, mince pie, cheese and coffee, and be spry about it; my train leaves in exactly six minutes. Woman a Riddle. Silicus—Woman is a riddle. She keeps us guessing. ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their Cynicus—And yet, we would rather The Best Prescription for Malaria children during the teething period. Chills and Fever is a bottle of Grove’s Tasteless be kept guessing than give her up.— Chill Tonic. It is simply iron and quinine in Philadelphia Record. Steered Straight. a tasteless form. No Cure. No Pay. Price 50c. “If I thought that any girl would ac­ Consolation and Comfort Had Them Ready. cept me,” casually remarked the bash­ ful Mr. Doylers. “I'd propose tomor­ Debt Collector—I called to collect j Who is it that does not wish to be row.” those bills which Mr. Snips, the tailor, out in the open air or alive in some “Why not this evening?” asked Miss sent you. Mr. Squills—You are per­ field of sport, whether it be with the Fosdick coyly. fectly welcome to them. Here they bat, rod or gun; whether we go coart The affair will take place in about a are all in one pocket. ing over the hills and vales on the _________ ___ month.—Detroit Free Press. wheel, or sailing over rough waves or Stop» th» Cottffh and into serene coves, it is all sport, anti Worha Off th» C»ld. An III Wind, Etc. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold in the springing muscles seem to need Mirs. Pepprey—There’s that Miss one day. .No cure, No Pay. Price 25 centa it. It is bound to happen that some Nexdore pounding the piano. mishap will occur. Thus it is that Unfamiliar. Mr. Pepprey—Yes, the landlord will be here shortly, and we’U use that as; The Squire—I don’t seem to know when we have sprains in abundance; an excuse to have the rent reduced.— your face, my man. Do you live about light sprains, sprains that cripple, sprains that give great pain, sprains Philadelphia Pres. here? Old Rustic—Yes, sir. But yer see, I that rob us of sleep, but sportsmen of ain't often at the public ’ouse!—Punch all kinds have come to know that Easy Came. Easy Go. there is nothing better than the old The man who creeps along bent reliable St. Jacobs Oil. Have it with over, with his spinal column feeling you for use; you may rely on its cure in a condition to snap like a pipestem of the worst sprain and restoration to For Infants and Children. at any minute, would readily give a the comforts of life. great deal to get out of his dilemma, CASTOR IA The Kind You Have Always Bought and yet this is only the commonest form by which lumbago seizes on and Bears the twists out of shape the muscles of the back. This is commonly known as Signature of backache, a crick in the back, but by whatever name it ntay be known, and Summer Resolutions however bad it may be, 10 minutes vigorous rubbing with St. Jacobs Oil 1HE K on the afflicted part will drive out the Bure relief liom liquor, opium and tobacco trouble and completely restore. It is habite. Bend for particulars to a thing so easily caught, it ntay be 2XU“'°’ wondered at why there is not more of Keeley Institute. it, but because it is so easily cured by M. P. N. U. A». 37-18Q1. St. Jacobs Oil may be the very reason HICH writing t* advertisers please that we hear so little of it. Keeley Cure W Where He Failed- Clarke—Mr. Shiverly is passionately fond of art. Miss Jameson—Yes, and yet not found enough of it to stop painting. TO CURE A COLP IN ONE DAY Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All trugglata refund the money If it fail» to cure. E. W. Grove’s signature is on each box. 25c. Just Like a Woman. “Why did that woman keep you standing at the door for half an hour?” Mrs. Benham—“She said she hadn’t time to come in.” mei'tion this paper. One Against the Horse. Appropriate They 8p-ak Their Mindy In an Em- barraa-ins Way Occasionally. “Men are dreadfully brusque some­ times," sighed Belinda. “The other night my brother and I went to the house of a friend to a reception. It was a hot night ami the house was crowded and there wasn’t anything to do but to stand around and talk to the people one could reach, while tbe people one really wanted to talk with could only be seen at a distance and over a sea of inter­ vening heads. In addition the cro­ quettes were cold and the ice cream warm, so when we finally got away both my brother and I said. ’Thank heaven’ quite reverently, and went to a hotel and had supper. “The next day all of my friends whom I met asked ’Didn't you have a lovely time at the Blanks last night?’ and I invariably replied ’Delightful.’ Then we went on our separate ways. When they asked my brother the same question he answered with a frankness that appalled and embarrassed me. 'No, I did not. I had the stupidest time of my life; and, say, they’d better get an­ other chef the next time they entertain, for the supper was awful.’ “Here,” said Belinda, “I truce a strong point of difference between men and women. The average girl has too much pride to let It be known that she has gone to an entertainment and has »till failed to be entertained. I saw one pretty guileless looking creature sit alone one night at a dance for nine straight dances, then I bad compassion on her and sent my escort and a couple of other men to ask her for the remain­ ing two-step» and waltzes. She danced four times In alL yet the next time she saw me she said she'd had a real de­ lirious times at that ball, a delightful, uevor-to-be-forgotten time, and. she added modestly, that she had been quite a belle. A man under the same circum­ stances, though they had been of his own making, asked if he had enjoyed himself, would have replied emphatical­ ly and vulgarly, “No, I didn’t. 1 had a fierce time.’ “Why, I know- of one lord of creation who tokl some friends that bls honey­ moon had been very tiresome, and of another who in bidding his host good-by after a yachting trip remarked that lie had a pleasant time, all things consid­ ered, but that all water Journeys were more or less of bores. Imagine s wom­ an doing anything so tactless. Why, if it had been a girl Instead of a man In the latter case, though she had been seasick for the entire two weeks, though the salt water and air had ruined her prettiest gowns, taken the curl out of her hair and the rose front her complexion, site would have stag­ gered off the yacht declaring faintly that she’d had the time of her life, tend that she'd like to go again to-morrow. That’s the feminine idea of true polite­ ness.” Harold’s Pap* Was “Shy." Tbe proud young father, after the manner of his kind, was telling stories about the doings of his first-born. Many trivial incident« had iteen relat­ ed, and Itie little circle of listeners had exhausted all their Ingenuity in pre­ tending to l>e interested. "Tell them the story about the peuny." suggested the young hopeful’s mother. Tbe proud father pretended not to bear, when grew red. and fln.*y shook a violent negative with bls bead. “Then I will," exclaimed tbe baby’s mother. “It’s too cute for anything. You know Harold will be 2 years old next mouth, ami we are now taking him to church with us. His father always gives hint a penny to put in the collection plate. Well, last Sunday the plate was being pass­ ed, and some one dropped a coin on the floor. It made quite a loud noise, and Harold turned to me and asked, in a voice loud enough to lie heard all over the church: ‘Mamma, whose (tenny are that?’ Wasn't it the cutest tblug? Of course he thought that nobody ever gave more titan a penny because that's all his papa ever gives hint.” Then the proud young father blushed mor« deeply than ever.—Philadelphia Rec­ ord. A Model Woman. Thirteen Stories. “Did you not say, Ellen, that Mr. B Sub-editor—I like the style of this “There's one good thing about an O'Hoolihan—Phwat wud yez do if writer; his story has quite a swing to Is poor?” automobile." IL yez wor’t fall off this rufe? “Yes, he has only his profession.” “What’s that?” Editor—Then we’d better publish it O’Harrity—Faith. O'ld make up me “Will your uncle favor bis suit?” “It doesn’t try to run up to every watering fountain it comes to.”—Puck. mind goin’ down—Ohio State Journal. with our hammock literature. "No; and I can expect nothing from him." Bourgeois. “Then, Ellen, you will have to resign Mrs. Bulgore—But they are very fashionable society.” fashionable, are they not? “No matter—1 shall see more of Mrs. Swellman—Fashionable? Most Fred.” assuredly not. Why, they permit the "You must give up expensive dress.” care of their children to interfere with "Oh. Fred admires simplicity.” their social obligations. “You cannot keep a carriage.” E czema , T etter , P soriasis , S alt R heum , A cne and a great many other "But we can have our delightful diseases of like character are classed as skin diseases, when they could just as His Favorite Dish. properly be called blood diseases, for they undoubtedly originate in the blood, like walks.” "What is your favorite dish? ” in ­ Cancer. Catarrh, Scrofula, Rheumatism, Contagious Blood Poison, etc. ; the only "You must take a small house and real difference being in the intensity and nature of the poison. The more serious quired Mrs. Frontpew of the Rev. furnish It plainly.” diseases. Cancer, Catarrh, etc., are caused by some specific poison or virus, which Longface, the new pastor. She felt "Yes; for elegant furniture would be is either inherited or in other ways gets into the blood and attacks certain vital sure it was chicken, but it proved not. organs or appears in the form of terrible sores and ulcer», while the milder anc “Er-the contribution plate," answered out of place In a cottage.” “You will have to cover your floora lei dangerous skin diseases are caused by blood humors or an over acid condition the Rev. Longface, absently. with thin, plain carpets.” of that fluid. These acid poisons, as they ooze out through the pores of the skin, Charity and bookbinders covers a cause great irritation, with intense itching and burning. The eruption may be of "Then I shall bear bls steps tbe soon­ a pustular kind, with excessive discharge of thick, gummy fluid, or the skin ma, multitude of faults. er.” Every man is like the company he be hot, dry and feverish, swollen and fissured. Skin diseases, whether they appear as sores, blotches or pimples is wont to keep.—Euripides. Value of the Giraffe Hkln. I can cheerfully and most sincerely endorse become more deeply rooted A good giraffe »kin Is worth from $10 Cur syocldo as a cure for Kosoma, the most and intractable the longer Too Cruel. to $25 in Africa to-day, and much more ■Hating and annoying disease, I think, that neglected, the skin in time flesh is hslr to. I was troubled with it for having a thick, hard, rough "False! False!” shrieked the hero in Europe or America. On their bunt twonty-flve years, and triad many rsmediss of the latest dramatization in falsetto Ing trips ten or fifteen years ago It was with no rood offset. After noin* your medicine and unsightly appearance. tones. a common matter for one hunter to kill a short timo I think I am ontiroly rslisvod. You can hide the blemishes "Do you say that to my face?” forty or fifty of these graceful animals Ton can give this statement any publicity yen for a time with cosmetics; screamed the heroine. may deeiro, as it is voluntarily made, more for and washes, lotions, soap» those afltlotod than notoriety for myself. “I say it to your very teeth!” roared in one day. And It is now discovered and powders may relievo Tory rosaoctfnlly, hunters were not wanting, for the temporarily the itching and the hero.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. WM. CAMMILL, giraffe is getting more and more burning, but eventually the 813 West Central. Wichita, Kano. scarce; soon it is feared It will become pores of the skin become so He Couldn’t Lose. clogged tip by this treatment that the poisonous matter thrown off by the blood Jones—Do you object to your boy extinct, as many other animals have cannot pass out of the system, and settles on the lungs, heart or some other vital playing football? dene after being excessively pursued. organ and endangers life. Smith — No, indeed; the policy is To purify and build np the polluted blood is the right treatment for skin Goo! Ward for Him. made out in my favor. diseases, and for this purpose no other medicine is so deservedly popular as S. S. 8. Banks- Dumlelgh Is not such a dunce It is a perfect antidote for all blood humors, and when taken into the circulation, as they make him out. He geta off a gently bnt thoroughly eliminates all impurities and puts the blood in a healthy, Still Worse. good thing once in a while. normal state.' The skin can’t remain in an irritated, diseased condition'when She—Were you out In Monday's bliz­ Hill—But It Isn't origlntsl. nourished with rich, new blood. S. S. S. is the only guaranteed purely vegetable zard? remedv, and the safest and best skin beautifier. Write our physicians if you have Banks—Still it's bright In him to ra­ He—No. I was out in Tuesday s any blood or skin disease, and they will cheerfully advise you without charge, Calk about Monday's blizzard. member it— Boston Transcript. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY. ATLANTA. OA. Skin Diseases FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES. CANDID MEN. Ensilage Cutter. Beet and only perfect blower cut­ ler on the market. Send for circular. Mitchell, Lewis A Slaver Co. Portland. Ore. JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon, footot Morrison Strest, Can give yon Buggies. Flows, Win-’mills anti Machinery. See Beat possible to build. Best material. Best pro­ portion. Best tiniah. Lightest running. Seventy year«’ ex per e nee. Ml • CH KI.». I.*'* I*» orter she said : “I had been caring for a patient steadily for nine months without rest and was run down and tired. I had very little appetite and some­ times I would skip one or two meals and not feel it at all. While visit­ ing in Boston mt altcess formed back of my ear. I had no strength, and although I was always drowsy sleep did not seem to refresh nte. After I came home I had seven altcesses on ] my back near the waist line and was unable to sit up much for three or four months. The doctors who treated me said I had blood-poisoning 1 from which I would never recover.” “That must have been very dis- j couraging, ” said the reporter. “It was. It took all the ambition out of me for awhile. But one day, when I was feeling particularly des­ pondent, a friend advised me to try Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale People. She was taking them with benefit and thought they might also help me. I bought some nt once and before I had used one box of the pills I found I was gaining strength. My apjs’tite and digestion improved and I felt rested after sleeping, instead of Being tired ns I was formerly. I soon became entirely well and able to te- I sume my duties. ” “Then you believe the Pink Pills cured you?” “I am certain they did, and I in­ tend to keep Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale People by me al) the time, I so that I can take them if needed. I 1 recommend them to my patients as : well as to every one who is suffering I from any complaint brought on by derangement of the blood or nerves, ” Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills ior Pale People are sold by all dealers or will be sent postpaid on receipt of price, 50 cents a box; six boxes. ’ $2.50, l>y addressing Dr. Williams Sfedicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y. Th« Higher One. "Can any little boy in the class,” said the teacher, "tell me what Is meant by ’above par?’ ” Profund silence, and the teacher said again: "Tommy Jones, perhaps you can tell me what’s ’above nar?’ ” “Ma, I guess,” said Tommy. Every time a man goes out in the morning and looks around his place he thinks of his fences. Are they in good condition? Are they what is needed? Will they lust? These questions he asks himself, anil many times he finds himself in sore straits as to what to do to provide hintself with economical and durable fences. The matter of fences is the largest and most important item of necessary expense to the landholder. There are thousands of miles of old barlted wire fence in the north­ west. 'The wire is fairly good in them—half as good as if it were new. And yet because the wires have sagged and some of them have become loosened from the jtosts, the fence is nearly worthless. It is when the wires are loose and wabbly in a barbed wire fence that damage is done to stock. Have you ever noticed a fence in that condition? A few upright stays and some "Anchor Clamps” will repair an old barlted wire or smooth wire fence and make it as good as new. It makes the fence as rigid and firm as when new—and will make it last for years. Now is the time to save money. Wire is high, excessively high, and an entirely new fence is an expensive affair—if yon get. the Is’st. The best is one contpo.-fd of all large and strong wires—which cost more at first bnt will last forever. You can get along without buying a new fence for awhile by repairing the old one. The "Anchor Clamp” is the only positive fence lock on the market* It pre­ vents sagging; it prevents loose wires; it can be used on any kind of wire; it is simple, can be applied by any one, and it is cheap. It will pay you to send for free sample and full informa­ tion to the Portland Anchor Fence Co., 742 Nicolai St., Portland, Oie. Wanted Rusty Shoe*. One of Marne’s little friends had a pair of russet shoes, and she thought it would be nice for her to have a pair of that kind. So when she and her mother went to the shoe store, and the clerk brought out some black ones, she eaid: “That is not the kind I want, mamma; I want a pair of ruBty ones.” To the Point. Patience: Is your preacher sensa­ tional? Patrice: I should say so! Why, he preached a sermon last Sunday and he took for his subject “It’s Hard to Keep a Good Man Down.” "Well?” "Oh. It was all about Jonah and the whale.” Tight Across the Chest "See here! You are always laughing at my expense.” “Well, that’s all I can do at your ex­ pense." ____________ ____ Trouble. Trouble would be a great deal easier to bear if those you dislike were not having the best time of their lives, just when you are going through it.—Atchi­ son Globe. M CONSUMPTION