Entered at the Postoffieein McMinnville, as Second-class matter. VOL. XXXI. M’MINNVILLE, ORE., FRIDAY, SELL 13, 1901. A Thrilling Narrative by Our Special Correspondent of the Recent Lambasting of Our Defenceless Coast By a Strange Foe. ' Latest Books SI.35 Early Friday morning sixteen pirates came ashore in a wooleygogyle from a rakish looking man-of-war hovering off the coast and demanded the uncondi­ tional surrender of Happy camp. This demand, coming, as it did, from a parcel of fierce, mustached sea robbers, armed I with dangling swords, created consterna­ tion among the campers. While the men folks stood scowling, the female contingent took fright, and dropping chopping knives and hairpins, sought safety in brack and bush of surrounding hills. By this time the male population was on the verge of frenzy. A panic was happily averted at this juncture, how­ ever, by the timely arrival of Captain Allen front the huckleberry patch on Crab hill. Striding across the sands to where the sixteen sea robbers stood in line with drawn swords before the wool- eygoggle, Captain Allen demanded an explanation. For reply the first mate of the wooleygoggle suiote the sand three times with the blade of his sword, then, drawing back his foot, he politely lifted | the captain's morocco red fez cap nine j *eet in the air with the point of his tooth pick shoe, saying as his sole spat the sand, “I have spoken.” This insult so justly incensed Captain Allen that he pardonably did a hasty act that brought on international com- plicatious with a strange people, and plunged the entire Tillamook coast in war. Quickly raising his hand to his mouth and before the mate could dive into the bowels of the wooleygoggle, the captain everlastingly lambasted the pi­ rate at tlie butt of the ear with a well chewed, luscious tobacco cud, saying: “Ding ye, I, too. have spoken!” “ Siax! Siax! Siax!” yelled the pirate in an unknown tongue, as an amber col­ ored stream began coursing its way down his bosom into his baggy, silk trousers. “Siax! Into the wooleygoggle, men! Into the wooleygoggle!” And to the relief of those on shore, the pirates stowed them­ selves away and a moment later the strange craft backed into the bay and headed out to sea. The relief afforded by the departure of the strangers was short lived. On reach­ ing the man-of-war, the wooleygoggle was hoisted on deck and preparations were at once begun for the extermina­ tion of the camp and surrounding coun­ try as well. Up into the steel blue sky rose two columns of dense, black smoke from the yawning red and black painted funnels. This was followed by a hoarse megaphone order from the bridge to beat to quarters. Then as the rat-a-ta- tat of the drum and the clang and bang of opening battle hatches was wafted shoreward across the quiet sea, Captain Allen and his men dove into tlie woods and waited for the first crack of doom. Take The Reporter and Get the News Strangely enough, all preliminary ac­ tions aboard the man-of-war, such as clearing the decks for action and ascer­ taining the range, liad a horrified specta- ■ tor. This was Keeper Hunt of tlie Cape Mears lighthouse, through the nine-foot What is CASTORIA Castoria is a substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, Drops ' and Soothing Syrups. It is Harmless ami Pico ant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worm’; and allays Feverishness, It cures Diarrhoea and Mind Colic. It, relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation ami Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates tho Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy ami natural sleep. 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Ca. jfjULJUUUUUULOJULJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU^ 2 o o o o NO. 39. opened the ball. This was in the shape have been nipped in the bud. It should of a whizzing, shrieking 32 inch projec­ have been the mayor's duty to have tile, which descried a beautiful curve called the people together anil conducted and disappeared from view on the eastern them out of tlie range of the enemy’s side of cape Mears. The battleship was shells, to a point anywhere from three to theu about three anil one-half miles oft' four miles east of town. This Senator the bar. Whether or not the gunners Maxwell endeavored to do, but by the miscalculated the range is not known. tine he arrived in town the exodus was At any rate after passing over the moun­ already on and his words were as tain the projectile struck the ground, naught. and, after plowing its way through 300 The senator, however, was equal to feet of earth, exploded under the Tilla­ the occasion. Hurrying up the river to mook court house, reducing that struc­ the Trask house he interrupted the ture to atoms This was followed by a pushing, panting battalion by telephone screeching motor which burst with terri­ at the summit house, begging them to telescope. Realizing that war was im­ ble effect in the rear of the Herald office hasten to the rescue. For reassurance’ minent, he hurried down from his perch reducing that building to kindling wood; sake the governor passed on ahead of the in tlie cupola of the lighthouse and im­ scattering type as far north as Garibaldi troops in the sheet iron covered cage, twelve tulles awav. On the heels of these reaching the Trask house at noon. Theu mediately 'phoned tlie governor for in­ came a rain of shells which set the town with the senator and six sharpshooters structions, calling his excellency’s atten­ on fire, causing a reign of terror, the like on the hurrican deck he hastened out by tion to the helpless condition of both Til­ of which it is to be hoped will never a cut oft' to Beaver creek. Here he was lucky enough to intercept the fleeing lamook and Netarts bays, laying great occur again. Leaving the burning little city to its mass just as they were entering the can­ stress, moreover, that an unknown ship fate we will again return to the unpro­ yon. Getting on the hurricane deck, of great beam and immense armament, tected Cape Mears coast. Fearful of be­ alongside Senator Maxwell, the governor and flying a strange three-cornered flag ing blown to atoms, Keeper Hunt of the begged them to exercise a little judge­ light house telegraphed the secretary of ment and abide the coming of the troops, would soon begin a bombardment. war for instructions, giving a brief sum­ assuring them that all would yet be well. Realizing the magnitude of such an mary of what was going on. This report This had the desired effect and the en­ event the governor lost no time in phon­ was simply side tracked to the govern­ tire contingent went into camp on the ing back that lie would at once call out ment’s terminal red tape yard, the far flats. Meanwhile the battleship was not idle. the Oregon National Guard, G. A. R. western light house keeper being told to “douse his glims,” and wait for further Steaming 111 under the lea of Cape Mears and Indian war veterans in defense. instructions Having wired this labori­ her decks thronged with fifteen hundred These troops, lie assured Keeper Hunt, ous message the secretary's private clerk silk trousered men, preparations were would, no doubt, “hold the situation mopped his fair brow with his every-fif- made tor a landing. As if by magic a teeu-minute clean handkerchief and be­ telescopic iron ladder was run up against well in hand.” took himself to his dinner of mushrooms the rocky side of the cape and a landing In the meantime preparations still tarrapin, limburger cheese and beer. made. Up this ladder with sword and went on aboard the man-of-war for its By tlie time the Washington message scimiter came man after man. Then the siege. The yawning funnels still con­ had arrived darkness had settled two lower hatch on the battleship was tinued to vomit smoke and flame, hours and thirteen minutes deep over the opened. Thirty cannon and sixty-two coast. No sooner, however, hail Keeper hatches were battened down, steam was Hunt turned down his wicks than the horses were taken from the bowels of the ship and hoisted on the parapet sent up in the boilers to the zoo-pound alert man-of-war put out what is known above through an immense hollow tube These pressure mark, decks were cleared for as a “scorcher.” This is similar in many by the use of compressed air. action; and, as the sun slid past the me­ respects to our modern seaachlight, the were followed by commissary wagons, a most noticeable difference being an thousand rounds of ammunition to the ridian, the gaunt, polished steel and apexed end, backed up as if by the con­ man, fifteen hundred rifles, sixty-eight brass superstructure of a great vessel centrated heat of hades beef cattle, a ton and a half of con­ So, out over the tumbled, darkened demned beef, and seven stalwart cooks. armed to the teeth with such guns as Uncle Sam never saw, was lazily rolling sea, turned first this way and that way, Having landed her supplies, the battle­ this great, sickle-toothed shaped light ship pulled in her telescopic ladder and on the swell of Maxwell’s point, under cut its swatli, the little fiery end falling compressed tube and stood out to sea. the September noonday glare. at length on the light house basement. Getting his men into position, the cap­ These preparations were followed at There it stuck, sizzling and frying, melt­ tain of the marines began to wind down one o’clock by a megaphone message to ing stone and mortar to lava; then slowly the lighthouse road to the Netarts beach. it went up from bottom to top and from Captain Allen, hid in the brush, to se­ top to bottom, splitting in twain the In front of the troops walked a drum major six feet nine inches tall, with a crete the women and children in places j.100,000 edifice. This was followed by a lofty tread. He was followed by the mu­ of safety as the man-of-war would open swift right to left movement, half-way sicians, fourteen in number, playing fire at sundown. Having given this up, quartering the rent walls, and a mo­ strange airs on solid gold instruments, ment later Uncle Sain’s beacon tumbled shaped much as our modern bologna warning tlie battleship stood out to sea, into the sea. sausage staffers. This music, while both until but the tip of of her mainmast was The next act of the pirates was to cen­ weird and wild,seemed to have the effect ter the light on a dead spruce trye on intended. visible. Following the musicians came the Meanwhile, the governor was not idle. Crab hill, splitting it in twain, and set­ ting it on fire. Many other trees in tlie thirty cannon, mounted on pneumatic Telephone and telegraph messages were vicinity met a similar fate, being objects rimmed wheels, astride of which rode a flying all over the state, calling the seemingly, on which the manipulator of gunner. Then came the troops, cap­ troops together. In obedience to liis the light wished to try liis hand. Being tains, lieutenants, cooks, cattle and cat­ command, horsemen rode all night drum­ satisfied with the result the light was tledrivers. Once on the beach, a flying trained on objects of more value. One start was made over the road to the val­ ming tnen up to the recruiting stands by one all the dwelling houses and barns ley beyond. with dishpans and boilers. These orders visible up and down the coast were Leaving the pirates enroute to the Til­ were followed by the seizure of all the searched out and set on fire, rendering lamook valley, pillage and plunder bent, brass cannon, municipal and otherwise, homeless three score or more of people. we will return to our array just entering Next to fall under the ban was the the Hoquartin prairie. in the state, which were hastily mounted wooded slope of Cape Lookout. 9miles Having quelled the fears of the people and sent to the front. Itn the basemen away. This was followed by a rain of from the conning tower of his prairie shells against which no living thing schooner, the governor resumed his seat of the state capitol, a detachment of tlie state guard was busily engaged cleaning could stand, and the inmates of the camp behind liis armored walls and rejoined began a hurried egress toward a place of liis troops. Here a council of war was rifles, examining haversacks, canteens, safety. held. etc., deposited there at the close of the The scene witnessed by your corre­ To better observe the action of the spondent when he got out in the valley enemy twenty-two picked scouts of na­ Spanish-l’hilippine war. beggars description. The whole coun ­ tional fume were sent out to report at Twelve o’clock, midnight, the some­ try was in a panic-stricken mood, and no midnight This being agreed upon the what tangled red tape government skein man's life was safe. The main thorough­ army went into camp, just across the began to unwind. Out from the woods fare leading out of town south was a dead line from occasional shots that of the I.uckianiute, tlie canyons of Burnt scene of wreckage; overturned wagons, still fell from the guns of the obstperer- river ami the watermelon flats of south­ dead sheep and cattle, runaway teams, ous man-of-war. ern Oregon came the rank and file of the shrieking women and cursing men were At 12 o’clock the scouts returned G. A R. with flashing eye, forgetting one confused mass. Every now and bringing information that the enemy for the moment, many of them, imagin­ then there would emerge from the dense was nowhere to be seen. Whether satis­ ary aches and pains. These were fol­ cloud and smoke bank lining the road a fied with the destruction done or wheth­ lowed by a host of battle-scarred Indian runaway team lashed to foam by ex­ er gone for more ships for an extended war veterans, a foot and a horseback, cited driver, which would crash into invasion is not known. Anyway, at this armed with squirrel gun and musket. some object and be overturned and then writing, September 10th, the coast is From the union depot, threading can­ away would go frightened animals, run­ clear of pirates and our brave army is yons with lightning speed, rumbling ning down men, women and children, to holding the waterworks and have the over bridges with a bang and a roar, be finally lost on down the road. situation well in hand. belching sparks and smoke far astern in Such was the great exodus ns seen by T hos . H. R ogers . the murky September night, there passed your correspondent by the bright moon­ up the valley a long train of cars loaded light at 12 o’clock, midnight, September Ilenlh of Win. It. Jolanann. to the dashlioards with the flower and 6th. As he neared tile Trask river youth of the land. The above pioneer of 1852, familiarly bridge six hayracks went by on the run, This special train was well adapted to loaded down with feather beds, rocking knewn as "Blackhawk,” died at his res­ the task before it. On a flat car at the rear, chairs, chicken coops and grindstones. mounted on a swivel, frowned an old The last to pass overturned with a crash, idence seven miles northwest of this city time, bell muzzled piece, with which and went rolling down the steep em­ on Tuesday, September loth, 19m, after Gen. O. O. Howard pasted buckshot at bankment into the Trask river. Follow­ a lingering illness from heart and lung tlie Modocsin '76. This ancient veteran ing the hayracks came an old gray troubles. He was 77 years, 5 months was capable, if well handled, of 16 shots haired couple with tears coursing down an hour, and if the man behind the gun their cheeks, and all their worldly effects and 8 days old. He was born in Ohio, was “next” would pitch shells 800 yards strapped to the backs of two gentle oxen. his father being Richard Johnson, who with wonderful accuracy. Mounted on Next to pass at a belter skelter rate was was born on tlie Atlantic ocean of Irish the cowcatcher was the state’s bulldog a heavy log wagon, drawn by six pairs of parentage, oA the voyage to America. and pride—and eight inch, smooth bore horses, having on board the heavy steel cannon, dug from the Fort Canby sands, safe of the Tilllatnook bank. Regard­ He was reared on a farm in Indiana, and with a firing capacity of 24 shots per less of life or limb, the driver ran his later went to Arkansas, where he mar­ hour and a bellow that would shake the horses straight over the span of oxen, ried Miss Del Steward. In 1852, with bark off the tree miles around. killing one and badly maiming the other; his wife, one child and his mother they With the arrival of the train at North the old people barely escaping a similar started with oxen, horses and wagons Yamhill, the work of disembarkation fate by rolling down the embankment. commenced. Sixteen span of mules Ludicrous an