Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Yamhill County reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1886-1904 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1899)
SLIPS OF THE TONGUE 44CDo It and Stick to It." THINGS THAT MIGHT HAVE DEEN SAID DIFFERENTLY. Errors Into Which Clergymen uncl Others Are Sometimes Led by Bash fulness or Absent-Alin-le luess, or u Little of Both. Mainly About People has collected the following curious slips of the tougue: A fashionable congregation was once startled by hearing the reverend gen tleman announce that they were about to sing “Hymn No. 358—From Iceland's Greasy Mountains." After this they listened with equanimity when they were reminded that they should not covet their neighbor's house, "nor his ’oss, nor his axe.” Preaching before a ’varsity congregation on the Queen's diamond jubilee, he remarked, impres sively: "Now, my brethren, you have a queer dean, a very queer dean, a very queer dean Indeed.” As it was widely known that he had recently a serious difference with the dean ol' his college, tlie slip was Intensely enjoyed. The same reverend gentleman once assured his bearers that they all knew what it was to have "a half-warmed fish” within them. “A half-formed wish” be meant. On another occasion he referred to “Bon the Japtlst.” Feel ing dimly that there was something wrong, be tried to correct matters: "No, no; 1 mean the Japtist lion"’ Another dear old college gentleman had occasion to reprimand an under graduate who had wasted two consecu tive terms in youthful folk's. After lecturing the delinquent severely In his queerly high-pitched voice, tlie dean finished by saying: "I am sorry to have to speak so severely to you, but I am credibly informed that you have broken many rules of the college; you have been Incorrigibly lazy, aud, to cap it all, you have deliberately tasted two worms!” “Are you fond of music, Mr. ----- ?” "Yes,” was the divine’s answer, “but I don't know very much about it. I don’t think I have a very good ear; in fact, the only two tunes I really know are ‘God Save the Weasel’ aud ‘Pop Goes the Queen!’” And this reminds one of a dinner tale. The stage was dessert. Hostess— "What will you have, Mr. Jones? There are nuts, oranges, ligs.” Mr. Jones—“Pigs, fleas!” At the licensing session held in a cer tain west-country town recently the chairman, dealing with the statutory limit of bona tide travelers and getting his expressions a little mixed, referred to It as being "three miles as the ‘flow cries.’ ’ A limb of the law who was engaged in the case ventured to cor rect his worship. With a deferential smile, this exponent tried to amend the phrase: "Your worship means as the 'fly crows’—or rather,” he added hasti ly, “as tlie ‘cry flows!’ ” No one was sufficiently rash to make a further at tempt. It would not be a fair to mention the name of the modern Mrs. Malaprop, who recently made the quaintest faux pas. The conversation turned on a forthcoming fancy dress ball, to which all the house party was going. She was asked what dress she proposed to wear. "I'm having a dress copied from an old French print. It's the period of the revolution. The picture Is one of Marat being murdered in his bath by Charlotte Bronte!” It would have been most impolite to correct her, and no one ever knew whether it was mere Ignorance, coufuslon of ideas, or ab sence of mind. | TRANSMITTED BY MOSQUITOES. London Royal Medical Society Asserts Munson's Theory to Be Correct. One of the most Important works un- dei taken by tlie Ilojal Medical Society during the past year was assigned to Major Boss, ti e well-known English army surgeon, who was designated to tXJMISISU CHIC MOsqLlTOta. Intake Investigations with respect to Dr. .Patrick Mansou's theory that the mos quito is the main means of transmit ting the u-aiar.al microbe, which has treated such a dire havoc within the Tanks of the English army. Major Ross 'went to Ind a to study the conditions lest in their natural state, taking with !htni machines of the greatest delicacy with which to pursue his lnvestiga- | tions. As a result of bis labors be has de- velojied that the mosquito, or a certain species of mosquito, the anopheles, is «inquest!« nably tlie agent, if not the direct cause, of the wide spread of ma laria through all the tropical countries. Major Ross' report says: “We have found (a) that local species of mosqui toes carry malaria, (b) That these spe- i cles breed In a few stagnant puddles. "For many scientific reasons we have come to the e> n fusion that the truly inalarial fever is caused solely by the j gnosqulto— probably entirely by the anopheles species. that most of the malarial fever cun be got rid of at almost no cost, except of a little energy.” In the course of his Investigation he has stud ed the mosquito most thor If you are sick and discouraged <uhih im oughly. His treatment of the insect is pure blood, catarrh or rheumatism, take quite remarkable. The most striking Hood's Sarsaparilla faithfully and persis machine which he uses to facilitate his research is a guillotine, which cuts tlie tently, and you tuiil soon have a cure. insect Into sixty distinct and separate This medicine has cured thousands of sections so small that every minute de others and it will do the same for you. tail can be studieJ under the micro Faithfully taken. scope. In order to do this the body of the Insect is hardened by successive treat ¿ Never D'S^ppoints^a ments with various kinds of acids and spirits. It Is then plunged In melted wax. .When this wax cools It sets hard ' In Canada the Grand Trunk is re nround him and enables the keen blade ported to have called in several ol its of the guillotine to cut him into tlie traveling freight agents owing to the most minute shavings, each of which fact that they cannot secure cars for can be mounted and tlieu examined the tremendous rush of busine.-a offer ing. under the microscope. k------------------------------------- In tills way the minute stomach of | The 150 factories of Kokomo, Ind., the Insect Is stud'ed carefully, and the now using natural gas as fuel are filling deadly micro! e wh'ch he keeps there up their cellars and sheds .with wood discovered and examined. and coal for use in case the gas gives out. There has been no coal in that THREE OLD BROTHERS. town for 13 years until a few days ago. Combined Ages of Three Russians Ari Said to Amount to 350 Yeurs. The Waiter Knew 'Em. A downtown restaurant was In the turmoil of the busy dinner hour. Care worn business men rushed in and swal lowed a lunch as though millions de pended on their haste. Waiters bal anced steaming platers on the tips of their little fingers with the ease of Jap anese jugglers, and everythig seemed confusion. Yet there was a certain degree of discipline among the waiters and they seemed to know their custom ers and their usual choice of dishes. For instance, when a pair of lantern- jawed actors without an engagement entered, the waiter that listened to the order yelled to the cook: "Two soups and a Ham-omelet I”—Detroit Free Press. Improved Train Kqulpinent. O. K. & N. and Oregon Short I Line The have added a buffet, smoking and library car to their Portland-Chicago through train, and a dining ear service has been inaugunrated. The train is equipped with the latest chair care, day coaches and luxurious firet-clabS ami ordinary sleepers, Diiect connec tion made at Granger with Union Pa cific, and at Ogden with Rio Grande line, from all points in Oregon, Wash ington and Idaho to all Eastern cities. For information, rates, etc., call on any O. R. & N. agent, or address W. H. Hurlburt, General Passenger Agent, Portland. Town Farthest Removed From Sea. Kuldja, which is said to be the cen ter of Asia, is claimed to be the farthest removed town from the sea in the A scientist has discovered nil apparatus This town, which formed part which will stimulate the brain. It consists world. of an electr c band. While scientists have of the ancient kingdom of Dzoungaria, been inventing unnatural ways of making is between 1,800 and 1,900 miles front the brain work, Hostetter’s Stomach Bit Kuldja is the point from ters has for nfry vears been doing it natur the sea. ally It cures dvspepsia and all stomach which numerous races have migrated trouble» and builds up the system. to the low and arid stepj>es of the Aralo Caspian depression, and the still more Out of 1,100,000 in Massachusetts distant and better favored regions of engaged in gainful occupations, only the west. On the fertile banks of the 37,000 are employed on Sundays. Ili and Irtish, the migrating hordes Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth lingered for a time, loth, as it were, to HOW’S THIS; ing Syrup the best remedy to use for th '•• venture out into tho unknown plain be Ohildren during the teething period. We offer Ono Hundred Dollars Howard for any fore them, stretching far away into case of Catarrh that can not bo cured by Hall ’ s An hour of careful thinking is worth sandy deserts that separate Europe Catarrh Cure. more than ten of careless talking. F. J. CHENEY CO., Prop«., Toledo, O. from Asia, until a new tide of popular We the undersigned, h .ve known F. J. Cheney I never used so quick a cure as Piso’s for the past 15 ' ears, and believe him perfectly migration forced them at last to strike Cure for Consumption.- J. B. Palmer, Box honorable in all busin ss transactions and fin their tents ami depart westward from ancially able to carry out any obligations made It is not popularly supposed that the conditions which surround the lives ol tlie peasants of Russia are conducive to g.od hea th or longevity, yet th« j Russian papeis have recently printer pictures of three peasants—brothers— • 1171, Seattle, Wash., Nov. 25, 1895. who are, b. y< nd d ull t, the three old A man of integrity will never listen est members of a single family alive Tlie family name of the three remark to any reason against conscience. ableoldmenls Kovalenko. Michael, th« VITALITY low, debilitated or exhausted cured by Kline's Invigorating Tonic. Fit EE ;1 Trial eledst, Is 120 years old, the same age at Dr. Bottle containing 2 Weeks’ treatment. I>r. Klint 's was Moses at his “passing." The second i Institute, »31 Arch St., PhladelpU’a. Founded 1»71. brother is only two years younger True education never induces con- having already celebrated bis 118tt ' tempt of the ignorant. birthday. The youngest of this re markable family has seen 112 sum ! TO CUBIC A COI.l) IN ONE BAT mers and winters. The venerable Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. brothers are still st o:ig and healthy, All druggists refund the money if it and have lived in the same place ali fails to cure. E. \V. Grove’s signature is on each box. 25c. Electricity for Brain. their mountainous halting ground. by their firm. V\ ss r <& T ri ax , Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, W ai ding , K innan <& Mxrvih, Vvnolesale Drug lets, Toledo, O. nail’s Catarrh Cure is t ken n rnally, acting directly on the blood end in cous surfaces of the system. Pri c 75c per bo .le. £o.d by all drugj ists. Testimoni Is free. Hall’s Family Pixl? r< th 1 1 est. The wages of every employe of the United Salt Company, of Cleveland, have been increased voluntarily. SHAKE INTO YOt'll HllOKS Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder for the feet. It cures painful, swollen, smarting, nerv ous feet, and instantly takes the sting out of corns and bunions It's tlie greatest comfort discovery of the age. Allen’s Foot- Ease makes tight or new shoes feel easy. It is a certain cure for Ingrowing Nails, sweating, callous and hot, tired, aching feet. We have over 30.1*00 testimonials. Try it tmhi '. Sold by all druggists and shoestores. By mail for 25c in stamps. Triitl package FREE. Address, Allen S. I Olmsted, be Roy, N. Y. Dr. Horace Howard Furness, of Phil adelphia, has received the degree of Henry Timrod was one of the sweet doctor of laws from the University of ■ — I singerH of the South, who died more Live as though life were earnest and Cambridge, England, in recognition of His poems have his achievements as a Shakesperean than 30 years ago. life will be so. i great beauty in form aud expression, scholar and editor. but they have long been out of print, A striking eivdence of the scarcity For the turn of the stairs, that ugly and even in his lifetime had little of workingmen is a great placard which ' has been hung out in front of the post place in the old city houses, tall silver vogue. "The Timrod Memorial Asso office, Ottawa, Canada, by one of the taper holders of Russian workmanship ciation of South Carolina’’ has been lumber companies asking for 1,000 la or the old Dutch candlesticks four feet organized to promote the publication of high will be found effective adjuncts. a volume of his poems. borers and 300 shantymen. TIIREE BROTHKBS WHOSE COMBINE AOES AMOUNT TO »50 YEARS, their lives. There Is no question oi doubt about the correctness of the ages given, for every Russian must have bls “pape:»,” In which the date of his birth is officially entered, and without which he cannot live in any part of th« empire. VELOCITY OF The pleasant method and beneficial effects of the well known remedy, S yrup or Flos, manufactured by the C alifornia F io S ykup C o ., illustrate the value of obtaining the liquid laxa tive principles of plants known to be medicinally laxative and presenting them in the form most refreshing to the taste and acceptable to the system. It is the one perfect strengthening laxa tive, cleansing the system effectually, dispelling colds, headaches and fevers gently yet promptly and enabling one to overcome habitual constipation per manently. Its perfect freedom from every objectionable quality and sub stance, and its acting on the kidneys, liver and bowels, without weakening or irritating them, make it the ideal laxative. In the process of manufacturing figs are used, as they are pleasant to the taste, but the medicinal qualitiesof the remedy uro obtained from senna and other aromatic plants, by a method known to the C alifornia F io S yrup Co. only. In order to get its beneficial effects and to avoid imitations, please remember the full name of thcCompany printed on the front of every package. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. 8AN FRANCISCO. CAL. LOUISVILLE. KY NEW YORK. X Y. For sale by all Druggists.—Price 50c. per bottle. Mr. Beerbohm, a London grain trade authority, is of the opinion that Europe will this season require 85 per cent of the American surplus supply of wheat, in which event the reserves at the end I of the present erop year may be even smaller than they were at the begin ning of the harvest in 1898. Southerners atiii ni that the people of the North spoil watermelons by too much chilling, which renders them in- i digestible. Hush ! Don't you hear your baby cry ? Babies often grow peevish, fretful, restless and feel bad, poor little things, without being able to tell you why. How much the little innocents suffer, unable to tell the cause of their distress! It is almost always some trouble in their little insides, sour curd on the stomach, indigestion, wind colic, bowel complaints, that start the ills of childhood. CASCARETS make mother’s milk mildly purgative, and increase the flow of milk in nursing mothers. Mamma takes a Cascaret, baby gets the benefit. In this way, Cascareis afford the only safe laxative for babes in arms. CALLING. In a Vacuum All Fall Alike Not S< in the Atmosphere. The old-time query as to which ol the two, a pound of lead or a pound ol feathers, dropped from the same height at the same time, would flrst reach tin ground, seems ever new. Some on« propounded it to tlie wise man of th« Scientific American last week, uslnj instead of lead and feathers an ounci and a tone of iron. And this is how the wise man responded: “This matter was put to the test ol experiment by Galileo at the Leaninj Tower of I’isa in the seventeenth cen tury, with two balls of lead, weighing one and ten pounds respectively. Th« followers of Aristotle had taught foi centuries that tlie balls would fall It proportion to their weights, the heav ier one falliug the faster. Galileo point ed out the fact that the lighter on« would reach the ground flrst because the air would resist tlie fall of th« larger oue more than It would that ol the smaller. He had previously dem onstrated the law of falling liodies that the velocity under the action of grav ity is independent of the mass of th« body. Experiment confirmed his posl tlon. The small ball reached the earth first. In a vacuum all bodies fall with the same velocity through nny distance As a practical statement, it may b« taken as true that small dense bodiei will conform to the theoretical laws falling any distance less than 200 feet in the atmosphere. But with an ounc« and a ton there would I k * a perceptible difference. The ounce ball would fal the faster. Facts like this are now adays demonstrated by even elemen tary students In almost every class ii physics In the country.” DRUGGISTS CASCARETS are absolutely harnle««, a purely vegetable compound. No mercurial nr other mineral pi’l-poison tn Cascarete. Cascarets promptly, effectively and permanently it correct any and every form of irregularity of the > 'els, including diarrhcea and dysentery, cure every disorder of the Stomach, L’-rr and Intestines. They not only cure constipation e you get the genuine I Beware of imitations an'i institutes ! Buy a box of CASCARETS Pleasant, palatable, potent. Taste g J, do good. Never sicken, weaken or gripe. Bv to-day, and if not pleased in every respect, get your money back I Write us for booklet and free sample ! Address STERLING REMEDY COMPANY, CHICAGO or NEW YORK. PORTLAND DIRECTORY. PHOTO PORTLAND WIRE ¿ IRON WORKS; WIRK and iron fencing; office railing, etc. 334 A Ider. ■ARIANI WINI-TMI IDEAL PHENOM TONIO-FOR MODY AND BRAIN. CAWNTON & CO.: ENGINES, BOILERS, MA- Ciifnerjr, supplies. 4N-5u First St., Portland, Or. FOR H. I. M. EMPEROR OF RUSSIA. JOHN POOLE, P ortland , O regow can give you the best bargains in general inachinery, engines, toilers, tanks, pumps, plows, belts and windmills. The new sieel IXL windmill, sold by him, is un- equalled. “THE MARSHAL OF THE IMPERIAL COURT REQUESTS YOU TO SEND W1TH- T DELAY ANOTHER CASE OF CO BOTTLES YIN MARIANI." and Magip Lantern Rargain List No. 15 now reudy for mailing. T. P. ANDREWS, 109 Montgomery St MUI 1 i >1 iK'hcO. dr . MÀRTET.H book . elief for Women’ R —Sent/raa, In plain, sealed envelopa Write to-day for thi« Book.containing Partir .- r 1*r" IUJ'1 Te*UlUui>uu> D,L MARTEL'S ^¿French Female Pills. J W Praised by thousands of satisfied ladle* bi »fa. always reliable and without an equal. 4k Sold by all druvgisrs in metal but. Freuch fla« on top In Blue, White and Rod. Take no other. French Drug Co.,381 a 8U3 Pearl BL, Mew YorK City. OR. GUNN’S A PILLS Exclusiveness of De Re«zke. " uver "° Jean de Reszke Is the only oue of th* rite to MARIANA & CO., for Descriptive Book, 75 PORTRAITS, Rupture ONE FOR DOSE. Cure Bick Headache grand opera singers whom It Is im PARIS: 41 Bd. Haussmann. LONDON: 239 Oxford St. treated scien jnd Dyapepnia. Remove Pimples and Purify tho ti ficai 1 y and Blood, A i<l I tigration and Prevent Bi liouanean Do possible to hire for private musicals. W. 15th ST., NEW YORK. Indorsement« and Autographs of Celebrities. confidenti al not Gripe or Sicken. To convince vou, we will mail He will sing an entire evening at th« ly - CwftMMtaKt «ample free, or full boa for 25r. DR. llttSANKU CO., Ehllaslit., Pcuut. Bold by Druggists. hlieittf house of a fellow artist, but become« C. H. WOOD ARO « CO. 108 Itc.nS St . Portisi»«. MT. ANGEL 25c. positively angry when singing In pri 25c. vate houses for money is suggested. And are constantly unwell will find quiet and Yon Can't Mike a Mietale bj Takisg the permanent relief in He once visit« d the bouse of the Roths For G<>norrh«ea and Gleet get PatieC’n Okay Specific. It la the ONLY medicine which will cure wrh and every childs In I’nris. and delighted his host cane. No CASE known it baa ever failed to cure, no Experience of Many Yearn Clearly Dem matter how wrloua or of how lon|T landing. Heeulta by singing a number of songs. The from ita Ut«e wifi aatonieh you. Jt ia alwoiutely mfe. on nt rat eg the Great Efficiency of No Injurious drugs in it; easy and pleasant to baron, who had tried to get him to sing prevent« atrlcture. an*! can he taken without inconve- This Liniment. Postpaid, ake. Your druggist has it for |1.00 par bottle. Blence and detention from businma. PRICE. $3 uo. for at private entertainments a number ol sale hv nil reliaide ilnigirinta, or aent prepaid by eapreaa, 2ftc a Box. Address plainly wrapped, on receipt <.f price, by times, but never succeeded, now re Benedictine Priory, Mt. Angel, Or. PA Bsf < HEMIC AL OU.. Chicago, HL < jx-ular mailed on requeat. solved to reward the singer in what h« j N ew O bi bans . I ji ., N ov . 8,1«9S. considered the proper way. At th« j Rev. Father—Enclosed find money order for find it very good close of the evening he presented De' another box of your Balve. A Indeed, and try not to be without it. CURE YOURSELF I Reszke with a blank check. signtNl, ask l PATRICK CARRY, ■*rZ2 Bolivar Bt. t n- ni(U for unnatural For it u the favorite through Dining Gar I L ouisville . K v ., Jan. 19. 1*99. MACHINERY, all kinds t nd Buffet-Library Car Line Exit. Ing him to fill It up for any amount h« ■ irritations or ul^rations Rev. Fathers—I fin«! your Salve to be the best of mu coat m«*nibranee. w «h«d. De Reszke took the ch« ck anc Salva that I ever u-ed. ...TATUM A BOWEN... For further particulars call on or address Painlees, an«! not satrin- PH SCHKKVtRI, 7« K. Walnut Bt. J. R. NAGEL. G. PA. W. E. (OMAN, G. A. as he tore ft to pieces said: tS to IS First Strwt PORTLAND OR. C. O. TERRY, T. P. A. •oM by Ornarvi.«., “My friend. I am your guest If I 124 Third Strset, P ortland , O r . or ..nt lo piolo wr.pprr, took your check I should deserve to b« br .ipr«M pr-Bopl. foi •11». nr 1 bottto.. ti n. kick« I from your do r. 1 sang only fol Clreol.r .»nt no m,o.M. pleasure.” N. P. N. (J Be sure you are right—but don’t b« We estimate, then. , too sure that everybody else U wrou< WOMEN Benedictine Salve. WHO FRET Hoore’s Revealed Remedy. tu« auoui jruur caee. BoSANKO, Pbiiada., Pa YOUNG MEN! ÄöhNE C ARTERSINK Makes writing a comfort. J