The Yamhill County reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1886-1904, October 27, 1899, Image 7

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    Ihe Gr.Ui<l Brave.
True Economy
The difference of cost between a
good and a poor baking pow­
der would .not amount for a fam­
ily’s supply to one dollar a year.
The poor powder would cost
many times this in doctors’ bills.
Royal Baking Powder may cost a little
more per can, but it insures perfect,
wholesome food. In fact, it is more
economical in the end, because it goes
further in leavening and never spoils
the food.
Royal Baking Powder used always in
making the biscuit and cake saves both
health and money.
You cannot, if you value good health, afford
to use cheap, low-grade, alum baking pow­
ders. They are apt to spoil the food; they
do endanger the health. All physicians will
tell you that alum in food is deleterious.
One of the Bohemian citizens of the
town went homo the other night after
having donned a pair of skates that
would havo slid him over an Arizona
desert with the mercury bubbling out
of the top of the thermometer. He
had no recollection of how he got home
and even the next morning he was not
certain whether he was on a storm-
tossed Atlantic liner or making a leap
from a balloon minus a |>arachute.
He went down to the breakfast table
with enough wet towels wrapped
around his head to make a turban for
the mahdi. His wifo met him with
reproaches in her eyes, but she did not
scold him. She wanted to inform him
of his conduct the night before, how­
ever.
“My dear,” she said, “did you know
that you came very near killing us all
when you w ent to l>ed last night?”
"Nope,” said her husband, thickly,
as he felt his hot forehead.
“Well, you did. You knocked over
the baby’8 cradle. Then you blew
out the gas and we were nearly as­
phyxiated. What do you think of
that?”
Her husband is usually a resourceful
man, but the fumes of many’ cocktails
taken the night before somew hat cloud­
ed his intellect. He made a grand
brace and tried to look pathetic.
“M’love, ” he said, as a ray of inspir­
ation burst through his foggy brain,
¡“wasn’t I here to die with you?”—
Washington Post.
Vanderbilt an Inventor,
“She works, Mr. Waite,” said Cor­
nelius Vanderbilt, Jr., as he entered
the office of the superintendent of mo­
tive power of the New York Central
railroad. He had just come down
from Albany, where locomotive No.
947 had been tested to see if the fire
box invented by Mr. Vanderbilt was
a real fire box or only a toy.
The young scion of the great rail­
roading family ran the locomotive him­
self. It was built at the company’s
shops at West Albany, and it made its
first tirp on Wednesday afternoon.
The Vanderbilt fire box can be easily
taken out for repairs and put back
again. This is an improvement over
fire boxes in ust> at present, which can­
not be extracted under 10 days.
Young Cornelius, the inventor, is a
draftsman in Mr. Waite’s office, and
has designed several locomotives.
ROYAL BAKING POWDER CO., NEW YORK.
Explosive«.
The Missionary's Little Joker.
A native Maori chieftain, the de-
■Cendant of cannibal kings, is now com­
pleting his medical education in Chi­
cago. Cannibalism ended in his tribe,
ha eays, when Bishop Selwyn converted
his grandfather; but he tells some stor­
ies of it which have a distinctly humor-
rous flavor. For instance: It is said
that once a chief captured a missionary
who was anything but a toothsome
morsel, as he was old and thin and
looked as if his flesh would be tough.
The missionary warned the chief that
he would not make a good dinner, and
pulling up his trousers, cut a slice off
the calf of his leg and offered it to the
chief. The chief tasted it, said he
didn’t like it, and passed it to a sub­
chief. The sub tasted it, made a wry
face, anil passed it cn. The next man
who took a bite of it spat it out. The
missionary was released. After he had
gone it was discovered that he wore a
oork leg.
Returned the Compliment.
The obsequious person who seeks fees
from travelers by pretending to mis­
take them for noblemen occasionally
meets one who does not fall into the
trap. The following example is taken
from an English paper: An English
gentleman of somewhat imposing per-
■onal appearance had a door opened for
him at the Paris opera house by an
usher, who bowed low and said: “The
door is open, prince.” The English­
man glanced at him, and, without ex­
tending the expected fee, sipmly said:
“Thank you very much, viscount.”
Berlin has the smallest elephant in
the world. It is but 39 inches high
and weighs 160 pounds.
Cooked Towels in Vienna.
HAS A HOUSE FULL OF HONEY.
One of the best known citizens of
Santa Clara, who has been along while Wisconsin Farmer Makes a Discovery
in an Abandoned Building.
Europe, brings back a number of funny
stories about Vienna.
Mr. Whitte, a Pleasant Prairie,
“In that, city,” he says, “pokerand Wis,. farmer, has more bees and honey
cocktails are playing the duce with than he knows what to do with. About
men and women, especially these pre­ two years ago a swarm of bees took
pared cocktails. I was in a Viennese possession of an old frame house on his
liquor place where one of the men farm and as they were not disturbed
spoke a little English.
they multiplied until there are mil­
“ ‘Buy a bottle of cooked towels?’ he lions of them.
asked me.
Mr. White recently made an attepmt
“ ‘Gracious, what is that?’
to enter the old house; he succeeded in
“ ‘Not know cooked towels? Surely getting far enough to find the whole
monsier is an American?’
interior lined with honey comb and
" ‘I am.’
then he made a hasty retreat. He says
“ ‘Why cooked towels is the name of there must be several hundred pounds
your drink. The great American of honey there, but he does not want
drink. ’
any of it at present. He will wait for
“ ‘Do you mean cocktails?’ 1 asked. zero weather before making another at­
“ ‘Ah, mon Dieu, no. Cooked tow­ tempt.
els. See, here’s the inscription. ’
Nearly all the omnibus horses in
“ ‘We call these cocktails, my friend. ’ London are imparted from the United
“ ‘Ah, thank you, I thank you. I States and Canada.
ask the American ladies and gentlemen
to buy the cooked towels and they i An ordinary' dinner-table wine glass
laugh at me. Now I know. It is was recently broken by singing. The
cockus tails. Ah, that is good to know; man who did it had a deep, full voice.
cockus tails.’ ”—San Francisco News He set the glass on the table, stood be­
Letter.
side it and ran up and down the scale
In Too Great Haste.
as though in search of a note. When
Wife—What’s the matter, John? he settled on one rather high the glass
You walk lame. Husband—Yes, a shook visibly. The note was repeated,
pretty girl with fluffy hair and dia­ sung as loudly as possible, and finally
mond earrings got on the car coming the glass shivered and crashed into bits.
up, and I sprained my leg in giving
her a seat.—New York World.
The lily of the valley contains prus­
sic acid. It is thought dangerous to
No One Said Nay.
“Scotland’s emblem is a thistle, and put the stalks in a person’s mouth, be­
her poets are fond of talking about cause if the sap chances to get into a
braes,” said the reckless punster. crack in the lips an annoying swelling
“One would judge from this that Cale­ is produced.
donia is a paradise for donkeys.”
25c SAMPLE BOTTLE 10c FOR NEXT 30 DAYS
Ä MAGNIFICENT WOMAN.
Thirty years ago there were only two
dozen explosive compounds known toj
chemists; now there are over 1,000.
Parsing of the Horse.
So soon as nature sees an improvement
there is a change. The candle gave way to
electricity and the horse to the automobile.
The fact that Hostetter’s btomach Bitters
lias been sold for over half a century,
proves its value. There is not hing to equal
it for stomach or livor trouble,
The Old Man Caught.
The Father—Young man, I think I
heard you kissing my daughter in the
parlor a short while ago.
The Young Man—Oh! then you are
not as deaf as people think you are, af­
ter all ?—Yonkers Satesman.
There is more Catarrh in this section of the
country than all other diseases put together,
and until the last few years was supposed to be
incurable. For a great many years doctors pro­
nounced it a local disease, and prescribed local
remedies, and by constantly failing to cure
with local treatment, pronounced it incurable.
Science has proven catarrh to bo a constitu­
tional disease, and therefore requires constitu­
tional treatment. Hall’s Catarrh Cure, man­
ufactured by F. J. Cheney A Co., Toledo, O.’’.io,
is t he only constitutional cure on the market.
It is taken internally in doses from 10 drops to
a teaspoonful. It acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system. They offer
one hundred dollars for any case it falls to
cure. Send ior circulars and testimonials. Ad­
dress,
F. J.CliENEY A CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Hall’s Family Pills are the best.
Literary Switzerland.
A French statistician records that
Switzerland produces annually more
books than any other country in pro­
portion to the number of inhabitants—
namely, one to every 3,000. Germany
comes next with one to every 3,200,
Italy with one for 3,300, France one
for 3,500, England one for 6,500 and
the United States one for 12,400.—
Pittsburg Post.
Improved Trnin Kquipinent.
The O. R. & N. and Oregon Short
Holds Up Peruna as the Ideal Rem­ Line have added a buffet, smoking and
library car to their Portland-Chicago
edy For Female Catarrh.
No DISEASE has so baffled the medical
through train, and a dining car service
skill of all ages ¿s RHEUMATISM.
lias been inaiiguarated. The train is
equipped with the latest chair cars,
and no remedy has ever been known
day coaches and luxurious first-class
to cure It until ”5 Drops,”
and ordinary sleepers. Direct connec­
tion made at Granger with Union Pa­
the Rheumatic Cure demonstrated Its
cific, and at Ogden with Rio Grande
wonderful Durative power.
line, from all points in Oregon, Wash­
ington and Idaho to all Eastern cities.
It has never failed to oure RHEUMATISM
For information, rates, etc., call on
In any form, Acute or Chronic,
any O. K. & N. agent, or address W.
11. Hurlburt, General Passenger Agent,
Here 1« what a Prominent Physician has to say who has had 35
years of active Practice of Medicine :
[ thade mark ]
Portland.
1)1 io I’S^
1 J J
I have never before in ray 35 vears of practice of medicine given my testimonial or recom­
mendation to any patent medicine, but there is a remedy, the result of which has come under my
own observation ; for there is no Disease which has so baffled the medical skill of all ages as
Rheumatism and to find a Reliable remedy for the same. At last we have found it in
M5 DROPS,” manufactured by the Swanson Rheumatic Cure Company, Chicago, Ill.
The ”5 DROPS,” has proven itself wonderful for its curative power in Rheumatism, not
as a Temporary Reliever only, but to give a Permanent Cure even in chronic cases. Sometime
ago. I had among others several Rheumatic cases, under ray treatment and prescribed for these
patients the very best Remedies which I skillfully selected, but without desirable results. I theu
beard of ”5 DROPS” and of its Wonderful Cures, and prescribed it to a few patients who
found relief from its use within a few days. After that I prescribed it to a great number and to my
surprise, I will say that in the course of Two or Three Weeks after they had used ”5 DROPS6
and ”5 Drop” Plasters they were Cured.
Among these were a few who had, for a number of years, been suffering with Chronic
Rheumatism, who had piloted themselves around on Crutches. They came to my office with­
out Crutches and told me they were perfectly Well. They give all the credit to •• 5 DROPS ”
sad to ”5 Drop” Plasters and this is their testimony to the Swanson Rheumatic Cure Com­
pany for their kindness and for the conscientious way in which they are placing these Wonder­
ful Remedies among suffering humanity, which they told me to write to the Company as an
acknowledgement.
As I have seen the Curative Power of
DROPS” and ”5 Drop” Plasters, in a great
jnany instances, I can Truly recommend them and also that the firm is perfectly honest and re­
liable to deal with.
C. A. JACKSON, Physician and Surgeon, Kearney, Neb., Aug. 29, 1899.
Haw Lang Maw Yaw Raftered with RHEUMATISM Y
LongHm Too KooV About -* DWrt" Without Taking Thom?
Do you not think you have wasted precious time and suffered enough? If so,
then try the “ 5 drops ” and be promptly and permanently cured of your afflictions.
“ 5 Drops ’’ is a speedy and Sure Cure for Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica,
Lumbago (lame back). Kidney Diseases, Asthma, Hay-Fever, Dyspepsia,
Catarrh cf all kinds, Bronchitis, La Grippe, Headache, Nervous or Neuralgic,
Heart Weakness, Dropsy, Earache, Spasmodic and Catarrhal Croup, Toothacne,
Nervousness, Sleeplessness, Creeping Numbness, Halaria, and kindred dis­
eases. “ 5 Drops ’’ has cured more people, during the past four years, of the above
named diseases than all other remedies known, and in case of Rheumatism is
curing more than all the doctors, patent tnedicinea, electric belts and batteries
combined, for they cannot cure Chronic Rheumatism. Therefore, waste no tpore
valuable time and money longer, but try “5 Drops ” and be promptly CURED.
“ 5 Drops ” is not only the best medicine, but it is the cheapest, for a jr.oo bottle
contains 300 doses. Price per bottle ft .00, prepaid by mail or express, or 6 bottles
for ij.co. For the next jo days we will seed a a$c. sample FREE to any one
•auding 10 cents to pay for the mailing.
Agents wanted. Write to-day.
SWANSON RHEUMATIC CURS CO., 160-164 E. LAKE STREET, CHICAGO.
A half million-dollar cotton mill if,
to be erected in North Carolina and
operated by electric power entirely.
Piso’s Pure for Consumption has been a
family medicine with us »Ince 188ft. —J. It.
Madison, 2409 42d Ave., Chicago, Ills.
Mr* Ciara Makemer.
Mrs. Clara Makemer, housekeeper for
the Florence Crittenden Anchorage Mis­
sion, of Chi ago, writes the following
letter from 302 Chestnut street, Chi­
cago:
“Peruna is the best tonic I have
ever known for general debility, a sure
cure for liveT complaint, and a never
failing adjuster in cases of dyspepsia.
“I have used it in cases of female
irregularities and weak nerves com­
mon to the sex, and have found it most
satisfactory.”
From early girlhood to the end of the
child-bearing period few women are
entirely free from some degree of ca­
tarrh of the pelvic organs.
With Peruna the thousand and one
ailments dependent upon catarrh of
the pelivc organa can be wholly averted.
“Health and Beauty” sent free to
women only, by The Peruna Medicine
Co., Columbus, Ohio.
To help the lock-out workmen in
Denmark an entertainment and ball
was given in Brooklyn recently.
CITQ Permanently (’iiri»<1. No fltaor nervou*neiw
■ lid aftr-r first day s iiw of Or. Kline’s Great
Nerve Restorer. Bend for I REK 9^.00 trial
bottle and treatise. IJ(. R. H. KLINK. Ltd , IMU
Arch street, Philadelphia. Pa.
A 4500,000 sugar beet factory has
been offered Fort Dodge if sufficient
beets are guaranteed.
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth­
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
For 13 years the left arm of Eli
Forbes, of East Bruahfield, Maas., had
been useless from rheumatism. He
was sitting at his window one evening
recently when a thunderstorm arose.
A flash of lightning seemed to play
about his affected arm, causing a shock
and prolonged pricking sensation. In
an instant the arm shot forward invol­
untarily, and from that time it has
been as well as ever.
COIN FOR UNIVERSE.
DEMAND FOR MONEY THAT WILL
BE THE SAME EVERYWHERE.
and excited, rushed to her. She hesi­
tated but a moment before falling Into
hfe arms. The parson did his work,
but her first love was the bridegroom.
The Detroiter admits that he made up
his mind in a flash that he would rather
be a bachelor than food tor fishes.
Talk of a Cosmopolitan Coin I. Not
New-How
to
It
Traveler,
Would
and
Prove a Boon
Trader,
in
All
Countries.
For many years commercial men of
all nationalities have spoken and writ­
ten ou the subject of the introduction of
u system of coinage which should have
u universal staudard. The proposition
has tailed to meet with success ou ac­
count of the difficulty lu persuading the
people of different countries to abandon
their own systems ot coinage, which
appear to them part and parcel of them­
selves as much as their language itself.
“The time seems approaching,” said a
financier, “when it will be possible and
perhaps advisable for the great nations
of the earth to meet In convention and
adopt a coin which shall be cosmopol­
itan, the weight anil fineness of which
might be determined ay the convention
and the minting of which might be In­
trusted to a body of experts made ap of
representatives from all the nations
who care to enter Into the project. It
may be some time before this comes
about, yet It would greatly facilitate
International business, especially since
large Internation il transaciions have
come to be quite common. Such a coin
would probably never supp’aut the coin
local to the various countries In which
also the cosmopolitan coin became cur­
rent, yet with education taking such
strides as It scents to be doing every­
where it ought not to be difficult to In­
struct the children In schools in the
table of the proposed coin and give
them practical Illustrations In Its use.
Such a coin would not be welcomed en-
thuslastlcally by small trade; s In d ffer-
ent countries who are wont to profit by
the unfamiliarity of travelers with the
coin of the realm and their natural be­
wilderment In attempting to fix In their
minds the comparative value of articles
considered In relation to the money
they have always banditti, but It would
be a boon to the great traveling world’s
public, to our globe-trotting commercial
travelers, to opulent tourists and to In­
digent emigrants. The current Is sure­
ly In the direction of a universal har­
monizing of commercial Interests and
the elimination of all the little lucky
cards and a relegation of all things and
people In trade to a sound basis of In­
trinsic merit.”
“The subject of a cosmopolitan coin Is
not a new one," said a member of a
banking firm. “In some of the aspects
of the case it appenrs to be very desir­
able. It has been suggested that the
various commercial nations agree upon
a gold coin, of un form weight and fine­
ness, to be given a name which would
be understood In most of the countries
agreeing to Its coinage. Each country
is to coin Its own p eceis and to be re­
sponsible for their accuracy. The coin
Is to have on one side the stamp or
legend of the country coining it and on
the other Its universal name. It will
readily be seen that with such a coin
In universal use, both In practice and
accounts, commercial transactions
would no doubt be greatly facilitated.
I do not look, however, for Its early ac­
complishment. ItB desirability Is not
sufficient to overcome the long estab­
lished customs of the various countries
so as to lead them to relinquish the
names and styles of their various coins.
Conservative England, for Instance,
with It» cumbrous system. Is not likely
to relinquish Its pounds, shillings and
pence ami adopt the decimal system of
France, Germany, Italy and the United
States. And it Is not likely that the lat­
ter would give up their quick and handy
decimal system for that of England.
On the whole, the Idea Is a very good
one, but, like many other good things —
like the propos d metrical system, for
Instance—Impossible of accomplish­
ment for various reasons at present."
CHANGtD HER
B-tIDEGROOMS.
While Eloping with One She Found
the Other.
There Is a Detroiter who was a prin­
cipal In one of the queerest elopements
on record, declares the Free Press of
that city. He was at a resort In the
upper lake regions. Among the guests
was a beautiful girl from the South,
educated In a convent and unsophisti­
cated as to the ways of the world. The
Detroiter found her one day vainly try-
I Ing to cast a fly and taught her the
I trick. It took time; he did not believe
In crowding her education, and they be­
came very friendly. A natural result
followed, and when he presented his
case to her father the old gentleman,
metaphorically speaking, tore up the
sod. Ills daughter was engaged, this
new lover knew It, and If he didn’t drop
the matter Just where It was he would
either be thrown Into the lake or
pumped full of lead.
The maiden thought a good deal of
the man she had left behind, but the
new Infatuation was stronger, so an
elopement was planned. When they
weut stealthily to the boathouse at
night every craft was securely locked
np except an Indian canoe. He was not
an artist In proi>elling such a tmat, but
they “sailed’' away. They kept close to
the shore, but he grew overconfident,
leaned suddenly toward her to renew
some of bls vows, and over they went.
He managed to keep her afloat and
shouteel so lustily that the guide at a
near-by camp rowed to the rescue.
She was soon stowed away beneath
blankets, and be made the acquaint­
ance of a lot of Botithernem who bad
lust arrived for hunting and fishing.
He told his story, all were sympathetic
and a messenger was hurried off Into
1 the country for a parson, as It was
i thought beat to put an Insuperable bar­
rier In the way of the wratby father.
| When the bride stepped forth for the
iceremony one of the Southerners, pale
Ants nn Trees,
Wherever ants nbound upon trees
and plants. It shows that the trees are
infested with Aphis plant lice, which
are doing the harm to the plant. These
plant lice suck the Juices of the plant,
and secrete a sweet substance, which
Is much liked by the ants, who go
among them gathering up this sweet
sulwtance, which is often called honey
dew, as, where trees are very thickly
Infested with the Aphis, it often drops
from the trees In such quantities as to
appear like dew under them. These
Aphis being attended by the ants are
often called the ants’ cows, as they
are known to carry the Aphis from
plant to plant, as cue might move their
cows to fresh pastures.
The destroying of the ants will not
help the trees, but If the Aphis are
destroyed by spraying with kerosene
emulsion or a strong Infusion of tobac­
co the ants will leave also.
Richard Whltelng, the author of “No.
5 John Street,” is at work upon a new
novel and also upon a Berles of papers
for an American magazine.
Georg Brandes, the Danish critic,
tells how Ibsen was once loud In his
praises of Russia. “A splendid coun­
try!” he said; “think of all the grand
oppression they have! Only think of
all the glorious love of liberty it engen­
ders! Russia Is one of the few coun­
tries In the world where men still love
liberty and make sacrifices for It.”
Kipling writes all his verses while
humming tunes which are generally
Irish, If William Strong, the artist,
who visited Kipling before Ids illness.
Is correct. The interesting confession
is given in the poet’s words: “I take up,
for example,” he said, “the ‘Wearing of
the Green,’ and bum It over and over,
and the spirit moves me to write words
to tit it.” It Is queer to note, now that
the thing is mentioned, that “Manda­
lay” goes to the tune of “Wearing of
the Green.” Try It.
Victor Cherbullez, of the French
Academy, who has died at th? age of
70, has sometimes been called the
French Anthony Trollope; but except
in fertility of production there was
nothing In common between them.
Cherbullez wrote like a scholar and a
gentleman, but Ids novels were often
dull, and of late years he had been to­
tally eclipsed by M. Anatole France.
Ills critical writings were of great
merit, for he had the advantage, un­
common In a literary Frenchman, of
knowing several languages besides his
own. He knew English and German
literature thoroughly and his sympa­
thies were proportionately wide.
A well-known English publisher. In
the course of a conversation, has Inci­
dentally revealed the portentous fact
that no fewer than 1,200 novels on the
average are submitted to his firm
alone In the course of every year. To
find the total annual output of manu­
script fiction It Is happily not necessa­
ry to multiply this number by that of
the existing publishing Imuses, since a
vast proportion of such manuscripts,
of course, “go the rounds” from one
unappreciative firm to another. But
even when all due allowance has been
made on this score, ample evidence
remains of a waste of time and energy
in the production of fiction which is
depressing to contemplate. Of the an­
nual 1,200 works submitted to the par­
ticular firm In question, only J bout
half a dozen, it appears, gain accept­
ance.
LUCKY IN MONEY AND LOVE.
The
Van lerbitt Heir nnl Hie Pretty
Fiancee,
Alfred Gwynne Vanderbilt, who will
probably Inherit Ihe bulk of the $100,-
000.000 fortune left by Cornelius Van­
derbilt, Is the second living son of the
late steward of the Vanderbilt wealth.
Alfred was educated In Yale. He wae
very |M>pular among the students In the
big university. While still In Ills studies
Alfred fell lu love with Miss Elsie
French, and be was quite Impatient ts
married. Ills father, however, per­
suaded him to wait until after his grad­
uation and likewise until be bad made
a tour of the world before settling
down. Miss French Is offly 1H, and very
t>eautlful. She la the daughter of the
late Francis Ormond French. The fu­
ture Mrs. Vanderbilt baa a fortune of
her own of nearly 15,000,000.
I k *
"The Free German Ithtne."
Nikolaus Becker, who wrote the patri­
otic song, "They Never Shall Have It.
the Free German Rhine," Is to be hon­
ored by a monument at Geilenkirchen.
When a funeral Is held on a Sunday,
a man knows that be can Invent no ex­
cuse for stay,ng away thtft hie wife
will accept,