AND NOW THEY’RE MAKING EGOS OUT OF MILK.
THE BATTLESHIP ILLINOIS.
Fhe Will He One of the Moot Power
ful Ve«*clH in Uncle Sam’s Navy.
The battleship Illinois, which was re
cently launched at Newport News, Va.,
will be one of the most powerful ves
sels In Uncle Sam’s navy. Her dimen
sions are: Length on load water line,
308 feet; Ix-am, extreme, 72 fi-et 2>X¡
Inches; draft on normal displacement
of 11,525 tons, 23 feet <1 Inches; maxi
mum displacement, all ammunition
and stores on IxMird, 12,325 tons; maxi
mum Indicated liorse ¡x»wer (estima
ted), 10,000; probable speed, l(J>/¡ knots;
normal coal supply, Koo tons; coal sup
ply, loose storage, 1,200; full bunker
capacity, 1,400 to 1,500 tons; comple-
ment of otllee.rs, 40; seamen, marines,
etc., 440.
The main lmttiTy will conMst of 4 13-
Inch breech-loading rilli-s In Highborn
balanced turrets, oval In shape, and
placed In the center line of the vessel,
and 15 0-inch rapid-fire guns. The sec
ondary battery will consist of 10 0-
pounder, rapid-fire guns, 4 1-pounder,
rapid tln> guns, two Colt guns, and two
flekl guns. She will carry four tor
pedo tubes. TIi«1 13-lnch guns have an
arc of tire of 135 degrt'es on each side
of the center line, and the 0-lnch tin
the teeth, but two with burned cocoa-
nut, covering the two excepted teeth
with tin plates of gold or silver. The
same tribe are in the habit of employ
ing their old women to dress up the
teeth of the youths and maidens at
wooing times. The canine teeth are
tiled to a tine smooth edge, and the
laxly of the tooth made concave, or
they will notch the edge of the teeth
like a tine saw as an additional means
of beautifying.
It Looked Bad.
A certain young lady, against whom
appearances certainly looked dark,
once had an amusing experience of un-
just judgment. She went out on a
stormy day, and was unforunate
enough to have her umbrella turned in
side out. Her two sisters were equally
unlucky, ami on the following day the
young lady volunteered to take the
three umbrellas to l>e repaired.
Promising to call for them before she
returned home In the afternoon, she
went about her business, part of which
was to do some shopping In a large city
establishment. On rising to leave the
shop, she mechanically put out her
hand to take possession of alt umbrella j
that was close by. It looked like her
3EAUTIFUL AND ACCOMPLISHED
CRETE’S UNHAPPY POSITION.
Lady Helen Vincent, the Brilliant
Wife of an English Diplomat.
Harried by the Turks and the Envy
of the Powers,
Whenever his diplomatic dudes per
Crete is a Greek island, traditionally
mit a visit to London. Sir Edgar Vin- and historically as well as by position.
:ent is always accompanied by his The fabled birth of Zeus, father of
lovely wife, who during her stay in the classic gods and men, took place on
British capital is always voted one of ; Mount Ida. Minos, the Moses of Greek
the reigning beauties, in former years law, was king of Crete. From her In
she and her three sisters were conceded accessible gorges and her mountain
to be the four most beautiful sisters In peaks the spirit of liberty has never
the United Kingdom. Their father was been driven. The Sphaklote shep
the Earl of Fa versham. All four were herds, at least, claim that the con
as lovely of character as they were fair queror has never set foot upon their
of face. The eldest, Lady Hermione native heath.
Duncombe, who married the Duke of
For this reason the Cretan mountain
Lewiston, (lied a few years ngo. The eers approach more nearly to the Ideal
second, Lady Cynthia, is the wife of of the ancient Greek than any of the
Sir Richard Graham. Lady Vincent is other Inhabitants of either the main
the third and Lady Ulrica is the young- land or the isles of that ancient coun
try. They are light in complexion, with
the regular features and straight noses
that one has learned to associate with
classic Ideals. The men attract atten
tion wherever they appear, both on ac-
I count of their splendid physique aud
I their striking costume, which bring
out to the best advantage the magnifi
cent forms which it envelops. The
women of the peasant class are fair
skinned, erect, deep chested—almost as
athletic appearing as the men.
Cretan cities are at present the most
picturesque places in the world. Look
ing down a street of Candia, or Canea,
one sees Mohammedan women, closely
veiled; Turkish priests, with brightly
colored turbans wound about their
brows; groups of ragged Arabs, Greek
priests in their majestic, flowing robes
and queerly shaped hats and Cretan
LAnr HELEN VINCENT.
mountaineers.
Donkeys driven by
est. The last named Is yet single. She
street venders of fruit and vegetables
devotes herself largely to her studies at
I Girton College. Lady Vincent is the and laden till their backs bend with
enormous creaking baskets pass up and
only blonde of the family. When just
out of school nine years ago she mar
ried Sir Edgar, who lias nearly ever
since been stationed at Constantinople
or Vienna. In each of these places
Lady Vincent filled a leading position
In society, not only because of her
I
wealth, beauty and high social stand
’
ing, but because of her wit and culture.
She speaks and writes five languages
besides her own, one of them being
Turkish, that terror to linguists. Next
to pride in her husband’s successful
career perhaps Lady Vincent takes
most satisfaction in remembering that
she is a descendant of Richard Brins
ley Sheridan, the brilliant Irish wit
and playwright. The Vincents have
one of the finest country places in En
gland. Esher place.
HOME, SWEET HOME.
THE BATTLESHIP ILLINOIS.
arc of 00 degree« on the broadside, with
the advantage of those on the u|»|x‘r
deck of a dlnx't tire ahead and astern.
Any injury to or near either of these
six-inch gun*» will lx? confined to Its
own comiHirtmcnt, as a lMt steel splin
ter bulkhead separates each of these
guns from its neighbor.
Four powerful electric searchlights
are also prv»v!i!*x1 two on top of the
forward cliarthouee and two on each
side of the after military mast—all hav
ing an elevation of 25 feet above the
water line ami commanding a complete
all-round rang«.
Russian Marriage Ceremonies.
In Russia there uro some quaint mar
riage customs. The ceremony, as ¡ter
formed by a prleet, includes the bless
ing of bread, after which he Joins their
hands, asking each In turn whether j
they will vow to lx1 good to each other
and to keep bouse well. A wreath of
wormwood Is then placed on their
heads, symbolizing that even atnld the
happiness of married life there Is a
possibility of bitterness, and a conclud
ing benediction la pronounced. A strik
ing custom follows. Tlu1 print drinks
their health In a gilt wooden bowl, and
is Imitated by hits »and and wife, the
former of whom subsequently dashes
It u|x»n the ground, crushing it under
his feet and shouting terrible impreca
tions: "Let them be trampled upon
and confounded who maliciously en
deavor to create 111 will and do 111 office
between us." Yet another quaint and
somewhat characteristic Russian cus
tom follows. On reaching home the
bridegroom orders his wife to take off
his boots, at the same time saying there
is a whip In one and a purse in the
other. Upon the fortune of her first
choice the |xx»r wife forecasts the se
verity or lllxTiillty of the man to whom
her life is committed.
Mutilation of Teeth by Savages.
Mutilation of the teeth Is practiced
by many of the savage or uncivilised
nations of the world. In the Malay
Archipelago the natives tile their teeth
into points like those of a saw, cr ¿.¡¿ive
them with holes Into which they Insert
studs. The Macassar people sometimes
pull out two front teeth, in order to
supply their plaix1 with teeth of pure
gold or silver. Some Afrlcau tribes
knock out their front teeth on the
ground that they do uot wish to look
like wild lieast!«. On the Upper Nile
four front teeth are always knocked
out. but farther south only the two up
per incisors are dispensed with. The
Nunda Islanders sometimes blacken all I
own, and for the moment she had for
gotten the accident She was mxm
brought to her senses.
“That is my umbrella,” said a sharp
voice nt her side, ami a hand was laid
on her arm to detain her.
Apologizing for her thoughtlessness,
she left the shop, did the rest of her
business, and calk'd for her umbrellas.
In tin1 street-car she met an Indignant
pair of eyes. Where had she seen them
before? They scanned first her face,
and then the burden she carried.
“Three of them!” muttered the owner
of tlie eyes, and It was evident that she
referred to the umbrellas. “Three!
She’s din no bad the day!”
As she spoke she grasped her own
umbrella tightly, and moved farther
away from the dangerous young lady.
The color came Into the cheeks of the
latter. The speaker was her friend of
the morning, and she evidently believ
ed that tiie umbrellas had been stolen
from different establishments In the
city. And the worst of it was, it look
ed as if It might be so.
*•
Only One Way.
An exchange tells a story of a Judge
who could not control his temper, and
so could not control other people. One
day there was unusual disorder In the
court-room, am! at last the judge could
endure It no longer.
“It Is impossible to allow this per
sistent contempt of court to go on," he
exclaimed, "and 1 shall be forced to go
to tiie extreme length of taking the one
step that will stop It!"
There was a long silence; then one of
the leudlng counsel rose, and with Just
a trace of a smile, inquired: "If It
please your honor, from what date will
your resignation take effect?*'
Victoria's Views Broader.
Queen Victoria, as she grows older,
become« bnsuler ami more liiteral on
many questions, especially concerning
the observance of the Sabbath, much
to the distress of many of her worthy
subjects. Ixist spring. In going to and
from lCJvlera. for the first time in her
life she traveled on Sunday.
JOHN HOW ABD l’AYNK’S HOUSE.
diplomat, but, surrounded by roses and
other garden flowers and covered with
clinging vines, It Is still one of those
lx-nutlful homely sjxtts which arouse
the poetic fancy. It stands In a pic
turesque **i»»t overlooking the village
churchyard and is visited by all stran
gers In town. It was here that Payne
spent his boyhood.
I
I
i
Bribing Spurgeon.
The recent autobiography of the late
Rev. Charles II. Spurgeon contains an
account of what may be termed an
early business venture, and its Influ
ence on his character. Spurgeon was
brought up on Watts' hymns; but not
altogether willingly. His grandmother
coaxed him with money to learn them.
At firat she gave him a penny, but when
she saw how easily It was earned, the
old lady reduced the prize to a half
penny and then to a farthing. There Is
no telling how low the amount per
hymn might have fallen, but just at
this time his grandfather made a dis
covery which seemed more desirable to
Spurgeon. He discovered that his
house was overrun with rats, and of
fered his grandson a shilling a dozen
for all he could kill. The occupation
of rat-kllllng gave him more money
than learning hymns. “But," Mr. Spur
geon characteristically says. “I know
which employment has been the more
permanently profitable to me."
A Paradise for Women.
In the matter of woman’s rights
Abyssinia Is far ahead of Europe. Ac
cording to an authority, the house and
all Its contents belong to her, and If the
husltand offends her she not only can.
but does, turn him out of ihxirs till he
Is duly repentant and makes amends
by the gift of a cow or the half of a
camel- that Is to say. half the value of
a camel. On the other hand. It Is the
privilege and duty of the wife to abuse
her husband, and she can divorce her
self from hint at pleasure, whereas the
huslxtnd must show reasons to justify
such an act on his part.
Double-Entry Bookkeeping.
Resisted Bravely.
The double-entry system of book
Magistrate (sternly)—You're « piti
keeping, now tn common use, was firat able specimen of humanity.
What
practiced in Italy in the latter part of wrought you to all this degradation and
the fifteenth century.
disgrace?
Prisoner (proudly)—It took three po
If Justice Is like moat women, she licemen.
drops her scales every few hours to
ge< In them aud see bow much she
Every new doctor believes be can
weiglks.
cure consumption and cancer.
Here is a curious slice of London. If a man were endowed by his Creator with
X-rays eyes tills» is what he would see when he looked into Slaughterhouse Corner,
ns tiie point of convergence of Queen Victoria street. New Bridge street and the
approach to Blackfriurs bridge in the City of London is called. These streets only
furnish the surface traffic. Overhead is the structure of a great railway corpora
tion. Underneath you come first to the electric conduits and gas and water mains,
forming a labyrinth of themselves. Then, at the depth of twenty feet from the
street, you come to the tunnel of theunderground railway, through which so
many thousands of people pass daily. A tew feet under the underground railway is
the sewerage system of this part of London, in itself a vast engineering work.
Then, passing below the sewerage system, you come to a great channel of traffic
in the new steel tunnels of the City & Waterloo Railway. Three railway systems,
a busy thoroughfare and many sewers, water pipes, gas pipes and electric light
wires cross each other at this spot. Nowhere else on earth can such an astonishing
display of engineering skill be seen in so small a compass.
footholds. That is why the powers all
maintain warships in Crete. They are
not watching the Islands so much as
each
other.
stand patiently in the squares and ol-
Meanwhile Crete Is In a very unhappy
1 leys and similar caravans pass by to
position. It has no regular government
I the sound of loud cursing and the
and it Is small wonder that anarchy
whacking of cudgels on ribs and bones.
prevails. The powers have established
Soldiers of the various nations in
a joint protectorate. as they well know
their different uniforms are seen ami
that a “protectorate” by any one pow? r,
every now and then a squad of regu-
especially England, means possession.
lars or of marines dashes down the
When any trouble occurs the warships
street at double-quick time, the sun
6hlnlng on casque and bayonet and
their bugles sounding merrily. This is
to let the natives know the foreigners j
ore still there.
Crete is turbulent because Turkey
cannot manage it. The sturdy moun- I
taineers and country ¡»eople of the isl
and will never yield to Mohammedan
rule. Hatred of that rule is lmbilted i
by the Ui.be at the mother’s breast and
is instilled into the heart of the child |
with the first words that he can under- I
stand. The Turks are massed in and
around the villages, generally within |
running distance of tiie cannon of the
fort.
Greece could manage Crete, because
I tiie Cretans themeelves are Greeks and !
| look upon Helas as their fatherland. !
Under Greek law the renegades would
all turn Christian and tiie Turks would
settle down and be quiet.
rlllEST AMI» FOREIGN OFFICER.
Tiie Greeks have shown themselves
capable of establishing a good govern all blaze away together, in evidence of
ment by the way they have stamped good faith and friendly zeal. The Eu
out brigandage in tliefr own country ropean concert, so far as Crete is con
and the efficient manner in which they cerned, means a concert of cannon.
hare policed the entire territory l>e-
It is decidedly Wagnerian music.
longlng to them.
A
Twenty-one Hundred Dollar Cat.
Why do not the powers give Crete to
In London and Paris cats are more
Greece and end this harrowing spect
acle of continued revolt, murder and highly prized than in the United States,
Incendiarism once for all? Because of and there are frequent sales there of
a diplomatic phrase: “The Integrity of tn bl des at two hundred and fifty dollars
the Turkish empire.” Crete won her each. Some choice cats, with rare
freedom nt the time of the revolution “markings” and “points,” are disposed
and has won It since, but she has been of at five hundred dollars each.
One of the most famous cats In Amer
persistently given back to Turkey.
The situation is this: Certain of the ica Is Ajax, owned by D. W. Stevens, of
great powers stand around the Otto Westfield. Mass. Ills actual value has
man empire as crows might stand been estimated, says the I*hlladelphia
around a dying horse. They know that press, at from one hundred to three
if the liorse does die they will fall upon hundred dollars, yet It Is doubtful if
each other over the division of the the owner would take several times the
Kj-ofl and will hxir each other to pieces. larger sum for him.
They say: “It Is better for Armenians
The famous cat Nicodemus, which
and Christians to be murdered than won the first prize for beauty at a New
that a general European war should York cat show, cost its owner, who
purchased It of a street urchin In Hes
take place.”
Crete is important on account of Suda ter street. New York, the sum of ten
cents. After the close of the exhibition
the gentleman received a dozen offers
of fifteen hundred dollars for tt, and
one woman bld twenty-one hundred
dollars. A lady who controls n cat
farm in California paid $1.000 for a cat
In Paris and considered it a bargain.
STREET SCENE IN CRETE.
The “Lowly Thatched Cottage’’ that | down. Caravans of mules and don-
Inspired Payne’s Song.
I keys, with their high wooden saddles,
The “lowly thatched cottage” which
furnished the inspiration for John
Howard I’ayne’s immortal melody,
“Home, Sweet Home,” still stands at
East Hampton, L. I. It is somewhat
changed since the days of the poet-
BUSY SLICE OF EARTH UNDERNEATH LONDON.
vuttitn somkx in cum.
bay. a splendid coaling station and har
bar for warships. Any foothold In the
Modi terra nan is considered of vast 1m-
portani'e by the powers. England now !
has Gibraltar. Malta and Cyprus. She .
Is particularly anxious that neither I
France uor Russ.a should gain similar
THE WESTERN FARMER.
It Is a Great Knee that Is Peopling
the Plains and Prairies,
Dr. Albert Shaw contributes a fully
illustrated article on "The Trans-Mis-
sissippians and Their Fair at Omaha”
to the Century. Dr. Shaw says: When
one bears testimony to the fineness and
beauty of all this array of machinery—
a beauty that lies in the ever-increasing
perfection of its fitness for the condi
tions that have to be met—one is really
paying a tribute to the brains, energy
I and character of the Western farmer.
I have been on the Hungarian plains
and witnessed the costly attempts of a
progressive Government to teach the
landowners and peasants the use of im
proved form machinery imported from
America or else adapted from American
types. And I have also observed—wbat
is confessed by the Government and
noted by all who visit those regions—
the persistent fact of scores of men,
women and children in the cornfields
with old fashioned hoes, while long
rows of whlte-tunicked men. In the hay
field or the ripe grain, are swinging
sickles and short scythes. And a little
later in the season It Is common enough
to see the oxen treading out the grain,
or to hear die thud of the descending
flail. Meanwhile, the new-fashioned
corn plows are rusting; the rejected
mowing anil reaping machines rot in
their neglei-ted corners; and the thfesh-
ing machine is viewed askance as an
ill-omened monstrosity.
It is all simply a difference in men.
It Is a great race thgt has peopled our
prairies and plains, and that is pro
ducing corn, wheat and oats by the
thousands of millions of bushels where
only a few years ago there was the
ancient matted sod of the prairies, un
broken for centuries. Tiie men who
drive the gang plow, ride the sulky cul
tivator, manipulate the twine binder,
and send millions of horned cattle,
hogs and sheep to the packing estab
lishments of Omaha, Kansas City anil
Chicago, are to be credited with a series
of achievements worthy not merely of
respect, but even of enthusiasm. I can
not for a moment doubt the ability of
such men to rear a fine and varied fab
rics of civilization upon so great a ma
terial foundation.
His Strange Resemblance.
A certain farmer, who is by no means
noted for his resemblance to Ap.illo,
has a son of seven, who possesses more
wtt than pedigree. One day a stranger
came to the farm, and, seeing the lad,
asked:
“Sonny, where's your father ?”
“In the pig pen," was the reply.
“In the pig pen? Thanks!"
And as tiie man moved in the direc
Having It Understood,
tion Indicated, the boy shouted:
Mistress—And, remember. Mary; I
“I say! You'll snow him, ’cause he’s
never allow my girls to entertain their got a hat on!”—Tit-Bits.
beaux In the kitchen.
New servant—Very well, ma’am.
A Temperance Thirst Quencher
What nights does your daughter use
Rev. George Charles, the clerical see-
the parlor?
‘ rotary of the Church of England Tem-
■ iterance Society In the Dhx'ese of Can
The National Game.
“Oh. yes." I understand the game . terbury, states that the best “sustainer
now.” exclaimed the girl on the grand [ and thirst quencher” he knows of is
stand, beaming on her escort with a I made of this formula: “Four ounces
glad smile. ’The man you call the um • of white oatmeal fl<>ur. six ounce- of
pire says something. Then everybody lump sugar, and the juice of one lemon.
: Pour one gallon of boiling water upon
yells at him. It’s very simple."
it in a large Jar. Drink when cool. It
After a man is left a widower, you 1 Is best made overnight for the next
can hear as many things about him as i day."
about Cuba.
If a girl has them, she puts on her
A woman knows exactly where to furs the next day after she discards
find everything except her pocketbook. shirt waists.