Entered at the Port office in McMinnville, as Second-class matter. VOL. XXIV. THE MctllTXVlLI E National Bank —McMinnville, Oregon.— Paid up Capital, $30,000 Transacts a General Banking Business. LEGAL BLANKS. Mexican Mustang Liniment Board of Directors: J W COWLS, LEE LAUGHLIN, A. J APPEKSON, WM. CAMPBELL, J. L ROGERS. Sell Sight Exchange and Telegraphic Trans tenon New York, San Franeisco and Portland. Depo.it. received subject to check. Interest [»aid on Time Deposits. Loans money on approved security. Collections made on all accessible points. THE COMMERCIAL LIVERY STABLE. GATES & HENRY, Props. E Street, north of Third. Everything New and First cla«-. Conveyance of Commercial Travel- era a specialty. Boa: anil stabling by the day or month. We solicit a fair share of the local pat ronage. Matthies Brothers, PROPRIETORS CITY MARKET. FRESH MEATS OF ALL KINDS. CHOICEST IN THE MARKET. South side Third St. between B »nd C. “i CITYlATHS- —AND— TOXMIIUIL PARLORS, Logan & Kutch, Prop’s. For a Clean Shave or Fashionable Hair Cut Give Us a Call. Baths are new and first-class in every re spect. Ladies’ Baths and shampooing a special ty. Employ none but first-class men. Don’t forget the place. Three doors west of Hotel Yamhill. ELSIA WRIGHT, Manufactures and Deals in HARNESS ! SADDLES, BRIDLES, SPURS, Brashes and Bella them cheaper thaD they can be bought anywhere else in the Willamette Valley. Onr ail home made sets of harness are pronounced unsurpassable by those who buy them JOHN F. DERBY, Proprietor of The McMinnville TILE FACTORY, Situated at th» Southwest comer of the Fair Ground». All sixes of first-class Drain Tile kept constantly on hand at lowest living prices. M c M innville . OREGON E J. Qualey & Co., QUINCY, MASS., Wholesale and Retail Dealers in GRANITE MONUMENTS AND ALL KINDS OF CEMETERY FURNISHINGS LOCAL NEWS. The following general forms are always in stock Silverware at Dielachneider’s an<l for sale at the Reporter office : Warranty Deeds Real Estate Mortgage Dayton has a corset maker. Quit-claim Deeds Chattel Mortgage Bond for Deed Satisfaction of Mort. Mrs. F. M. York was taken ill the first Farm Lease Transfer of Mortgage Notes and Receipts. Bill of Sale of the week, with fever symptoms. We carry a large stork of stationery and are County warrants taken at their face by prepared to do Job printing of every sort in the best style of the art and at low figures. R. Jacobson. President, - - J. H COWLS. Vice President, - LEE LA POH UN. Cashier, ■ £. C. APPERSON Aitt. Catkier ... w'. Ñ. LINK Holl'* Old Jewelry Stand, 3d Street. For a nice lady’scloak see R. Jacobson. You can buy it at bed rock price. Walter Potter of Sheridan died Wed nesday after a protracted illness. He was a son of S. Potter. Wait for the stock of Christmas goods for at the Novelty, F. Anstein, manager. Burns,» Miss Eva Hoberg has a position in the Caked & Inflamed Udders. office of John Knight at Hillsboro, and has gone to remain there all winter. Piles, New styles in jewelry and holiday goods arriving daily at Wm. F. Diel- Rheumatic Pains, schneider’s, the jeweler. Bruises and Strains, Prof. George Flesher will organize a class in vocal music at Amity this week. Running Sores, W anted .—Two or three fresh cows, at Inflammations, reasonable price, by J. Mattey, Lafayette. Stiff joints, A. N. Martin’s little daughter, Viola, is unfortunate. The arm that was broken Harness & Saddle Sores, last summer by falling, was again acci Sciatica, dentally broken Monday in two places. All persons indebted to R. Jacobson Lumbago, will please call and settle as we have Scalds, waited patiently, and now are obliged to make collections to meet obligations. Blisters, Mr. and Mrs. Molsem of Derry visited Insect Bites, Judge Galloway's family over Sunday. Mrs. Molsem is a daughter of Col. Nes All Cattle Ailments, mith of early Oregon fame. All Horse Ailments, Go to the Novelty for stationery. F. Anstein, manager. All Sheep Ailments, Mrs. Talmage, Mrs. McKinney and Mrs. Galentine from this city officiated Penetrates Muscle, in installing new officers in the Eastern Membrane and Tissue Star lodge at Dayton Tuesday night. The Salvation Army representatives Quickly to the Very now in the city announce that they will Seat of Pain and hold meetings beginning this evening at their established barracks, and continu Ousts it in a Jiffy. ing over Sunday. Truth will proclaim itself if given a Rub in Vigorously. chance. The people generally are taking Mustang Liniment conquers advantage of the reduction sale in pro Pain, gress at Kay & Todd’s. * Makes nan or Beast well again. The series of meetings at the Metho dist church closed Tuesday evening, with 14 accessions. Five immersions were made in the Baptist church baptistry on Sunday and three on the afternoon of Thanksgiving day. NOTICE OF SHERIFF’S SALE While up in the mountains last Friday OTICE is hereby given that the undersigned, as sheriff of Yamhill county, State of Ore appraising the mill property of Stowe & gon, under and by virtue of an execution issued Brower, Messrs. Joseph Hoberg, J. H. out of the circuit court of the state of Oregon, for Yamhill county, bearing date of October 19th. Henderson and M D. L. Rhodes en A. D. 1894, upon and to enforce the judgment ana order of sale made by said court on the 26th day countered a slight snow storm. The of September, 1894, in that certain suit wherein mill is eleven miles out. Charity A. Richardson was plaintiff, and It. B. Hibbs, Carrie C. Hibbs, R. Jacobson and McMinn The hotel Yamhill is still without a ville National Bank were defendants, in which it was ordered, adjudged and decreed that the tenant. It strikes us that here is a good said plaintiff. Charity A. Richardson, do have and recover of and from the said defendant, R. opening for a live hotel man who under B. Hibbs, the sum of One Thousand Dollars, stands his business and has a few hun ($1,000.00) together with interest thereon from the 2d day of September, A. D. 1893, at the rate of ten dred dollars to put up. It is the best per cent per annum, and the further sum ot $100.00 attorneys’ fees and the costs and disburse hotel property in the city and under ments taxed at $15.60, and for accruing costs, good management ought to return fair and ordering the sale of the following described real property, to-wit: revenue. The north half of the northwest quarter and Charles Groening has received word the southeast quarter of the northwest quarter and the northwest quarter of the southeast quar ter and the northeast quarter of section Sixteen from a daughter in Washington that his (16), in township Three (3) south, range Six (6) youngest daughter, Ida, whom he be west of the Willamette meridian, in Yamhill county, Oregon, containing 320 acres more or less. lieves to be in Denver, is thought to Also block numbered or lettered “C” in C. G. Saylor s addition to the City of McMinnville. have been killer! a short time since by Yamhill county, Oregon, as shown upon the duly being shot by her husband. Information recorded plat thereof, now of record in the recor der's office of said county. is very indefinite, but Mr. Groening In which said suit it was ordered, adjudged and decreed by said court that said real property be thinks the report probably correct, and sold as by law required, and that said two tracts is very much grieved by the news. of land be sold separately, and that out of the money arising from said sale there be paid. This office has received a copy of First, the costs and expenses ot said sale and of this suit and accruing costs. George W. Snyder’s paper, the Leaf Second, the sum ot $1,000.00, together with in terest thereon from the 2d day of September, A. River (Ills.) Mirror. His name appears D. 1893. at the rate of ten per cent per annum and as editor and proprietor, and from ap f100 00 attorneys’fees due the plaintiff, Charity A. Richardson. pearances he has a good thing. George’s Third, to the payment of the sum of $108.80, with interest on said sum at the rate of ten per comments upon his subscription list cent per annum from the 13th day of December, would make some Oregon editors en A. D. 1893, and the sum of $20.00 special attorneys lees due the defendant R. Jacobson. vious. He says: “Not a name upon it Fourth, to the payment of the sum ot $100.00, together with interest thereon at the rate of ten is back in credit one year, and the few per cent per annum from the 19th day of Septem behind at all are guaranteed and ber, 1893, and $25.00 stipulated attorneys’ fees due the defeudant. McMinnville National Bank good as gold. This is a business-like Now, therefore by virtue of said execution, judgment and order of sale, and in pursuance of little community, please allow this wit the commands of said writ, I will or. Saturday, ness to state.’’ the 1st day of December, 1894, at the hour of oiie o’clock p. m. of said day, at the court house door Report of school district No. 10, for the in McMinnville, Yamhill county, Oregon, sel^ at public auction to the highest bidder for cash in month commencing Oct. 29th and ending hand, the above described real property, to satis Nov. 23d. Number of days taught, 20; fy said execution, cosu and accruing costs. Dated this the 1st day of November, 1894. number of pupils enrolled, 44; average W. G. HENDERSON, Sheriff of Yambill County, Oregon. number belonging, 40; average daily at tendance, 36. Names of those not absent NOTICE. during the jionth : Arthur and Oscar Conlee, Berlin Davis, Hannah, George 'OTICE is hereby given that the undersigned, and Carrie Nelson, Verdi and Cristie the duly appointed, qualified and acting administrator of the estate of Benjamin Antrim, Frazer, Beryl and Jessie Christenson, deceased. has tiled his final acconnt in the county court for Yam Allen Johnson, Horace Nelson, Johnnie hill county, state of Oregon, and said court has Walker, Jessie McKelvey, Chris Smith, set Saturday, the 8th dav of December, A. D. 1894. at the hour of one o’clock p. m. of said day as the Katie Harger, Ella Rogers, Edward Mc time to hear said final account, and of objections Kelvey. Cnas. A. D each , Teacher. thereto, and to the settlement thereof. N Dated Nov. 6th, 1894. VW HITE’S^ J. R. FORREST, An effort is being made to secure the Administrator of the Estate of Benj. Autrim, pardon of Harry Hill, indicted and deceased. FARM FOR SALE! Third St. 1 door W. of Burns A Daniels MEALS AT ALL HOURS Beat 23c Heal in City. dolce Fruits. Confections, Nuts and Cigars. ICE CREAM! Lemonade, Soda Pop, Etc. Board by the Day or Week. MeMINNVIbüE Truck and Dray Go. B E. COULTER, Prop. I offer for sale my farm of 231 acres, two and one-half miles southwest of Ballston, in Polk county. SO acres in cultivation, balance in brush' and pasture. Two good wells. Good bouse. Will sell for JIG per acre. One-half cash down, mortgage on one year'» time to secure balance. Call on or address undersigned at Ballston. Or. LEVI CONNER. 47ml 1. B. GOUCHBB. f. ft. CALBBKATH. Calbreath & Goucher. PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS. Si CM [UNTIL LE . . . . OBBOOb (Office over Braly’s bank.) Where Women can Vole. Women have limited suffrage in Goods of all descriptions moved and careful handline guaranteed. Collections Great Britain. France, Sweden, Nor Russia, Finland, will be made monthly. Hauling of all way, Ireland, kinds done cheap. Austro-Hungarv. Croatia, Dalmatia. FARM FOR SALE I have a 1 IS-acre farm on the »south line of Yam hill county for sale. One-half in cultivation, running water. 5 acres in orchard of pears, prunes and apples. Wil', sell all or a part. Good house and other buildings. For further informa* Clou inquire at this office or call on or address . 1->ml J. T. COOPER, Wlxatlaud, Okegou, mon THE COE'NTY PItESX. ________________ 81ieridan Sun Wm. Wilcox died at Ballston last ¡Wednesday of typhoid fever. He was one of the men who nursed Nel son Steele through his sickness. Mr. John Cronin, Sr., of Gopher Valley is lying ill at his home from Leave your subscriptions for any news the effects of a sudden stroke of paper or magazine at C. Griesen's book paralysis which affects the entire store. tf right side of his body. He is aged Five members of the family of A. M. Hoffman of Whiteson have been sick between 60 and 70 years and there is not much prospect of his recovery. with typhoid fever. N AU work fully guaranteed to give perfect satis faction. Refers by permission to Win. Me Chris man. Mrs. L. E. Bewley, Mrs. E. D. Fellows. SUBSCRIPTION PRICE ft!.'» PER YEAR- One Dollar if paid in advance, Single numbers five cents. M’MINNVILLE, OREGON, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 30. 1894. sentenced last March for larceny of a lot of watches here. The governor wrote to District Attorney McCain relative to the case, stating that a petition for par don had been presented, but probably the attorney did not give it much en couragement. The facts were that Hill got off very easy with two years. His offense included burglary as well as larceny, but in consideration of pleading guilty to the larceny the charge of burg lary was dropped from the indictment. Hold-ups are becoming a frequent pas time in McMinnville, if all rumors can be credited. Saturday night Dr. Minty was held up on his way home. On Sunday night John Dumphrev was accosted near the Bynum house. He is reported to have shoved the man off in the mud and struck a Robert J. gait for home. Tuesday eve ning John Welsh was interviewed by a member of the profession near the Grange store. So far no one has been hurt and not a dollar has changed hands as far as heard from. Nearly everybody is in condition to tender their regrets to highwaymen, but a subject might be run across who would try the alternative of cold lead. It is thought to be the work North Yamhill Record. Wm. Shepherd has got the new dwelling on his farm nearly finished, and will soon move into it. Sigel Fairchiles caught two wild cats while trapping on the Trask last week. He returned this week to try it again. Miss Mary Fairchiles, who has been spending the summer in Port land, returned to her home at Fair- dale this week to visit until after the holidays. We are glad to state that W. E. King, who was injured by a falling scaffold on the Austin & Wilsey building, has so far recovered as to be able to work again. He called at this office on Monday. It is reported that an attempt was made last Sunday by a man with a club to hold up Leonard Gildred at the bridge across the Yamhill near the mill as he was riding home. Gil dred is said to have whipped his horse and outrun his assailant. Newberg Graphic, N. C. Maris arrived home from Morrow county last Saturday eve ning with his herd of Shorthorn cattle, He sold a few out of the herd and left the rest with a big cattle rancher at Heppner to be kept on the shares for a year. He reports feed fine and cattle fat and sleek in that country. If every man who goes on the road with a wagon was required to use a wagon with wide tires the roads in Oregon would be much better than they are with the narrow tire. In some states all wagons with wide tires are exempt from taxation. Such a law in Oregon would in the course of time regulate the thing without working a hardship to any body. Can’t our legislators do some thing for us in this way at the com ing session? Valley Times. James Martin is quite sick with malerial fever at present, but Dr. Hays who is waiting on him thinks he will have him out in a few days. Mr. Burbank makes use of the leaves about his yard by having them put on his strawberry plants. Much better than having his lawn covered with dead leaves. Dayton Herald. Uncle Ed. Hadaway, who went to the hospital at Portland for treat ment, is much improved and has left the hospital. The infant daughter of Mr. and Mrs. J. T. Isham of Wheatland, died on Tuesday, the 20th, with lung fever. The Dayton light and water com pany has made arrangements with Mr. Wirfs to lease for ninety-nine years a piece of ground for its supply basin at the northwest corner of his farm and also a slip of ground ten feet wide all along the west line of his farm to the county road. D. A. Snyder will probably finish evaporating fruit next week. He has had a good run this season, and with the new evaporator which he put in this season, which has doubled the capacity of his establishment for evaporating, has turned out a large amount of evaporated fruit. The telephone will soon be in oper ation. Reed & Gillespie of Byers ville, have been given the contract by John Bradley to get out the poles for the line between McMinnville via Dayton to Newberg. The line will be erected as soon as the poles and other necessary material can be secured. Track laying is progressing rapidly on the old narrow gauge railroad. The heavy rails which are now being put down, have been laid a mile or more north of West Dayton towards Dundee. The heavy rail now being laid down, and greatly improved roadbed on this line, would indicate that the Southern Pacific intended making this branch in good shape for a much greater increase in traffic over the line. Amity Blade. David C. Cook, well known around Amity, died in Portland on the 16th of blood poison. Prof. Grimes informs us that the local teachers are thinking of organ izing a reading circle to partake somewhat of the nature of the Chau tauqua circle. Such a thing would be of untold benefit to the active members. f Cape Colony, Canada, and in two presidencies in Hindoostan. In twenty-eight states and territories of this country they have some form Yamhill Independent. of suffrage. Politicians will have to Our prune raisers who have decided consider the ladies more.— St. Louie of inexperienced numskulls not far Post-Diepatch. to ship their prunes to New York, from home. through the agency of S. A. Clarke, will contribute nearly thirty tons, which are being prepared for ship ment as speedily as possible now. On Saturday evening Calvin Stan ley regaled a number of his personal friends with a feast of “possum and sweet ‘taters,” a la Carolina planta tion style, reinforced with hoecake and buttermilk. There is a diversity of opinion as to whether such rich food is wholesome, but as for our selves we stand ready to accept as many invitations to similar repasts as Cal may see fit to issue. The proprietors of the new boat which is about completed at the foot of River street have stated that the people of Newberg could name her if they were interested enough in her to present her with a couple of flags. We should not let such an opportunity pass. The boat is really a fine look ing one, and being built here, of Newberg material, by Newberg workmen, and to some extent at least with Newberg money, by all means, let’s name her. What’s the matter with “The Newberg?” THE NEW NO. 48. OYAL Baking Pow- der is indispensable to finest cookery and to the comfort and convenience of modern housekeeping. Royal Baking Powder makes hot bread wholesome. Perfectly leav ens without fermentation. Oual- ¡ties that are peculiar to it alone. R D1PHT1IEH1A CI KE. The latest triumph of scientific re search is the new treatment for the cure of diphtheria, discovered by Professor Behring, of the university of Halle, Prussia. This discovery was based upon another by Profes sor Loftier, a' disciple of Koch, of the bacillus that produces diphtheria. The investigation that followed dis closes the important fact that not only the bacilli themselves were ca pable of producing diseases, but that the same effect could be secured by the use of the liquid in which they had been cultivated, even if it did not contain a single animalcule. Pro fessor Behring therefore decided to leave the bacilli alone, and to para lyze their action by adding qualities to the blood which would render them innocuous. He began his experiments on the guinea pig. He injected small quan tities of the virus at first, graduallj’ increasing the d 5ses, until he was able to inject enough bacteria to kill several uninoculated animals into a pig that had been experimented up on, with no injurious effect. He thus discovered that the antidote was in the blood of the animal which had been inoculated. The “clot” is re moved by careful filtration, and the serum or thin whiteish portion of of the blood, is injected under the skin of the patient, Experiments upon diphtheria pa tients were gratifyingly successful. In one Berlin hospital, out of seven ty-eight patients who during the first forty-eight hours of their illness were inoculated with it, all recovered except two. Treatment by the old method had been previously applied in seventy-two cases, twenty-five of which ended fatally. In two other hospitals of the same city eighty- nine patients were treated by the new cure, and though seven of these were suffering from the most malig nant diphtheria known, and beyond all hope of cure, only twelve died. In all the other cases the application of the serum was followed by a no table falling off of the temperature and a perfectly normal pulse. When the patient was treated without loss of time, one day sufficed to remove all the remaining symptoms of the malady. The serum is found to be perfectly innocuous, its only disa greeable effect being a rash or efflor- vescence of the skin, like the prick of the needle, and which is generally produced by a transfusion of blood. At present the blood of horses is used for the production of serum. After they have been sufficiently in oculated, their blood is drawn to the amount of about two pounds. Serurn taken from the blood of horses is found to be clearer and purer than any other. Professor Behring says serum injections are equally effectual for the cure of lockjaw, and he be-, lieves that in time it will become a successful remedy for typhus, chole ra, and perhaps even pulmonary dis eases. The healing art is making tremendous strides, and many of the diseases that have for so long been scourges to humanity are now large ly curable by newly-discovered meth ods. Not All Gold. We have not heard of any con tracts being signed by the beet farm ers in this valley at $4.00 per ton, the price proposed by Spreckles for next year, says the Salinas Index. At $4 50 per ton last year very few beet growers in this valley made any money. Hence, the proposed reduc tion to $4.00 will deter many if not most of them from growing beets the coming season. We have yet to hear a farmer say that any money can be made, one year with another, in this valley growing beets at $4.50 with the 5-pound limit nominated in the contract. The annoyance of waiting for cars, dockage for dirt, and a thousand and one other hard condi tions imposed by the contract have disgusted most of the growers of sugar beets in the Salinas valley.— California Fruit Grower. ROYAL BAKING POV/DER CO., 106 WALL ST., NEW-YORK. OKI.GOV NEWS AN1> NOTES. A tarantula crawled from a cold banana at Forest Grove the other day. It was promptly dispatched. The hog market is lively in Jack sonville. Three cents and a half a pound is being paid for live porkers. The 50th anniversary of the Con gregational church in Oregon City, also in the state, was observed Sun day. The department has just made proper allowance for the $960 of which the Dallas postoffice was robbed January 29th. The colors of Pacific university at Forest Grove are black and crimson, “pilfered from my maiden’s cheek and the hair upon her head.” The postoffice at Helix, Umatilla county, was entered on the 22d, the postmaster clubbed nearly to death, but no money secured. The robber escaped. A $50 reward is offered for his capture. Portland hospitality expects to offer to the visitors present at the opening of the Universal Exposition, December 1st, a drink of clear water from the base of Mt. Hood, through the Bull Run water system. Oregon City merchants have joined a business men's association to pro tect themselves from chronic dead beats who move from one town to another and work the local business men for all the credit they can get and then move on to the next town. Of secret orders there is no end. The latest is at Forest Grove, and is known as the “Ancient Association of Aristophaganians, ” and its local representative is Barmicedes Table No 128. It is purely fraternal and has a record dating back nearly to the beginning of history. County Judge B. P. Cornelius of Washington county has sent an order to a dealer for two trained blood hounds, at the quoted price of $100, which, it is supposed, will become co partners with Sheriff H. P. Ford in hunting down the perpetrators of numerous hold-ups and robberies throughout the county. An extensive sale of timber land is being negotiated in Tillamook county. A party of Pennsylvania capitalists, headed by a gentleman named Cook, who bought 40,000 acres of timber on the Wilson river about three years since, is now pre paring to purchase, it is said, about 200,000 acres more. It is said that the prices to be paid will average about $1000 for a quarter section. Governor Pennoyer, in speaking in reference to Japan’s reply to the offer of mediation by this govern ment said: “I see that the Japanese government has followed my example in reminding President Cleveland to attend to his own business. For the sake of the country the president really ought not to have allowed himself to be snubbed the second time.” Governor-elect Lord, of Oregon, with Senator Mitchell, called on the President on the 21st and invited him in the name of the Oregon people to visit Oregon. Senator Mitchell told the president if he would come any time after January 1 next, he would guarantee that the governor would meet him at the state line, re ferring to Pennoyer's refusal to meet President Harrison. Horace Nathan Pennoyer, the only son of Governor Pennoyer, and member of the freshman class of Williams college, died at Williams town, Mass., on Saturday, aged 19 years. He caught cold at the Wil liams-Cornell football game at Al bany, N. Y., and in a few days ty phoid fever developed. His mother, who had been summoned, had reached Chicago when she received the news of his death. The professors in the Oregon ag ricultural college receive the follow ing salaries: Bloss, $2650 and $40 for secretary; Letcher. Berchtold, Snell, Covell, Washburn, Shaw, French, Craig, Horner, Bristow, each $1600; Fulton, $1000; Coate, $1200; Mrs. Callahan, $900; Thomp son, foreman, $900; Emmett, me chanical, $900; Prichard, carpenter, $720; Clark, printing, $1200; Pernot, photography, $900. W. E. Page has exhibited some samples of seal and sea lion leather, and also shoes of the same material, made by him at Netarts. He says the seals and sea lions are very valu able for their hides and oil, and that they are easily procured. The leather is very tough and soft, besides it takes a fine finish. Mr. Page is an experienced tauner and shoe maker, and may shortly be in a position to utilize the seal and sea lion skins that may be secured at Netarts. He contemplates starting a tannery in this town, and thinks it would pay, as tanbark is so handy, and there are plenty of hides here to keep a small tannery busy. — Tillamook Headlight. Seth R. Hammer has prepared a bill regarding hunting which he will have introduced in the coming legis lature. It is to protect the Mongoli an pheasant, the native pheasant, the native grouse, the native or valley quail and the Bob White quail. It makes it unlawful for any person in the counties of Lane, Linn, Marion, Polk and Yamhill to hunt these birds or have in possession except for breeding purposes between the 15th of December and the 15th of Septem ber, the following year. The close season for valley quail is made from Feb. 1st to Sept. 15th. It makes it unlawful to hunt on Sunday, or to hunt any time with dogs, and ex empts the Bob White quail from be ing killed for seven years. Fines are placed at from $75 to $300, or three months’ imprisonment, or both. SMILES. It is a terrible thing to think that in future the money a woman makes by keeping a cow may go to her political constituents instead of being spent to buy comforts for her family. —Atchison Globe. “I dropped the stamp on the floor,” explained the votress, and I “didn’t like to spoil my gloves picking it up, 601 just punched the ballot with a hairpin. That will do just as well, won’t it?”— Indianapolis Journal. Old lady: “That parrot I bought of you uses dreadful language.” Bird dealer: “Ah, mum, you should be werry careful what you ses afore it; it’s ’stonishin’ how quick them birds pick up anything!”— Tit-Bits. “Turn back,” pleaded the maiden, “oh, time, in thy flight, and make me young again just for tonight.” “Certainly,” rejoined Time affably. “About how far must I turn back?” “None of your business.”— Town Topics. A city boy in the country was amazed to see a whole barnyardful of cows complacently chewing the cud, and hailed the farmer with: “Say, mister, do you have to buy chewing gum for all these cows?” I Two? Willie—Yes m; me and my little sister. “Are you going out tonight dear?” said the husband to the emancipated woman. “I am. It is the regular weekly meeting of the lodge.” “Then I want to say to you”—and there was an unusual defiance in the mild man’s tone—“I want to say that if you are not home by 11 o’clock I shall go home to my father."— Judge. American Student—“You don’t have foot ball in Germany?” Ger man Student—“No; the professors draw the line at duelling.”— Puck. “Strange about May. She doesn’t get married because she doesn’t know how to say no.” “Indeed?” “Yes, when fellows ask her to sing for them she always complies.”— De troit Tribune. Daughter—What do you think, mamma! That strange gentleman who just got out when we were going through the tunnel kissed me! Mother—But, my child, why didn’t you tell me at once, so that I could call him to account for it? Daughter —Why, you see, mamma, I thought, —I thought—that we were coming to another tunnel!— Fliegende Blaetter. “Why do you think Jenkins has political aspirations?” “Why? Why, because he likes to have men slap him on the back and call him Old Horse.”— Harper's Bazar. Miss Budd—“Do you believe in long courtships, Mr. Benedict?” Mr. B.—“I don’t believe in more than six or eight hours at a session.”— Smith, Gray A- Co's Monthly. A man will unblushingly comb his hair over a bald spot on the top of his head, and yet expect a fruiterer to put his smallest apples in the top layer of a box.— Tit-Bits. “No, ma’am, said the grocer, mak ing a great clattering among his tins; “I have coffee pots and tea pots, but there isn’t such a thing as a jack pot in the store.” “I'm so sorry,” wailed the young wife; “you see, we haven’t been married long, and my husband’s mother has always cooked for him, and when I heard him talking in his sleep about a jack pot I thought I’d get one, for he mentions it so often he must be used to it. Could you tell me what they cook in it?” “Greens, ma’am,” said the grocer, and he sent her to the tin store in the next block.— Detroit Free Press. Newapaper Engliah. He kissed her back.— Atlanta Con stitution. She fainted upon his departure.— Lynn Union. She seated herself upon his enter ing.— Albia Democrat. She whipped him upon his return. —Burlington Hawkeye. He kicked the tramp upon his setting down.— American Pharmacist. How about the woman who was hurt in the fracas?— Railway Age. A Chicago footpad was shot in the tunnel.— Western Medical Reporter. We thought she sat down upon her disappearance.— J'fferson Sou venir. We feel compelled to refer to the poor woman who was shot in the oil regions.— Medical World. And why not drop a tear for the man who was fatally stabbed in the rotunda, and for him who was kicked Mother—How is that you got so on the highway, and for the poor many bad marks at school? Little fellow who was stabbed in the dark Johnny—Well, the teacher has got of the moon.— Medical Age. to mark somebody or else folks will think she a nt attendin’ to her busi A Favorite in Keutucky- ness.” Mr. W. M. Terry, who has been in the Little girl—Do you ever dream of drug business at Elkton, Ky., for the being in heaven? Little Boy—No, past twelve years, says: “Chamberlain’s not exactly, but I dreamed once that Cough Remedy gives better satisfaction I was right in the middle of a big than any other cough medicine I have ever sold.” There is good reason for apple dumpling.’ this. No other will cure a cold so quick Teacher—Now, Willie, if you and ly ; no other is so certain a preventive your little sister buy ten peaches and cure for croup; no other affords so and six of them are bad, how many much relief in cases of whooping cough. are left? Willie—Two. Teacher— For sale by 8. Howorth.