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About Yamhill reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1883-1886 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 7, 1884)
IN SWIMMING TIME. [James Whitcomn Riley.] Clouds above, as white as wool, Drifting over skies as blue As the eyes of beautiful Children when they smile at you; Gioves of maple, elm, and l>eech, With the sunshine sifted through Branches, mingling each with each, Dim with shade and bright with dew; Stripling trees, and poplars hoar, Hickory and sycamore. And the drowsy dogwood bowed Where the ripples laugh aloud, And the crooning creek is stirred To a gayety that now Mates the warble of the bin! Teetering on the hazel bough; Grasses long and fine and fair As your school-boy sweetheart’s hair, Backward reached and twirled and twined By the fingers of the wind; Vines and mosw, interlinked Down dark aisles and deep ravines, Where the stream runs, willow-brinked Round a bend where some one leans Faint and vague and indistinct As the like reflected thing In the current shimmering. Childish voices farther on. Where the truant stream has gone, Vex the echoes of the wood Till no word is understood, Save that one is well aware Hapj riness is hiding there. There, in leafy coverts mid© Little bodies pose and leap, Spattering the solitude • And the silence everywhere— Mimic monsters of the deep! Wallowing in sandy shoals— Plunging headlong out of sight; And. with spurting» of delight, Clutching hands, and slippery soles, Climbing up the treacherous steep Over which the spring-board spurns Each again as he returns. Ah! the glorious carnival! Purple lips and chattering teeth— Eyes that burn—but. in beneath, Every care beyond recall, Every task forgotten quite— And again, in dreams at night, Dropping, drifting through it all! PHILOSOPHY UP THE STOMACH AMONG THE CITIZENS OF THE CELESTIAL EMPIRE. Pekin Cor. St. Petersburg Messenger. To be able to eat well means, in the Chinamen’s opinion, to be happy. All his cares, tioubles, and desires centre in the same point, namely, good eating. True, everybody the world over, takes care to satisfy his appetite in the best possible way. But the Chinese differ from other people in the philosophy of the subject. They hold that only the satiated man can be wise, and those who can not make themselves full are surely fools. Their most sacred philosophical and medical treatises deal with the stomach as the principal source of the spiritual, moral and physical life of man. The head, in their opinion, is the poor dependent on the bounty of the stomach. Not the head, but the stomach, ought to l>e crowned. They hold as a cardinal axiom that the stomach is the spring of every thought, feeling and muscular action. He who does not eat loses energy. Man differs from wood and stone only because he fills up his stomach. They look upon Dr. Tanner’s forty days’ fast as a clever trick. They assert that the American doctor deceived the public by drinking some colorless nutritious substances dissolved in water. Otherwise, they argue, he would necessarily turn first an idiot, and then a corpse. When we ponder on some difficult subject we often touch or rub our fore head. Under the same circumstances the Chinaman puts his fingers below’ his belt. By touching his abdomen he facilitates his mental process. In view of the supremacy of the stomach the Chinese came to the conclusion that the better it is filled the wiser is itf* owner; hence fatness and corpulence are the best mirror of the mind, the best indica tion of superior intellect. And, as wisdom brings man to a blissful state and to a heavenly beatitude, therefore, the Chinamen regard extraordinary stoutness as a symbol of the future heavenly Btate. THE “BILLY THE KID” TYPE. Herald. Let me assure my younger readers that there is nothing heroic in the “Billy the Kid” type on the frontier. The desperado is too lazy to work for a living. He is a thief and a cut-throat whenever he can cut a throat without fear. There are some brave men among them, to be sure, but their bravery arises from a consciousness of their matchless command of their weapons. They know’ perfectly well that they can shoot an ordinary man dead l»efore his hand reaches his pistol. Often they have the triggers of their Colts’-45 filed off, and fire by snapping the hammer with the thumb, whirling the pistols in their hands and shooting as the weapon comes to a level. And they are dead shots, as they need to be. Yet the “bad men” who haunt the groggories with their weapons ostentatiously displayed, who are given to shooting right and left when drnnk, and, indeed, to dis charging their “guns” at all times— these fellows will rarely take the chances in a fair, stand-up fight. They wait until they can “get the drop” on a man, or shoot him from behind on a dark night. Don’t look for any signs of chivalry among them. They are the meanest of all mean brutes. It is well that the changes wrought in the west by the completion of the various rail roads announce that their race is nearly run. But this is an unpleasant sub ject. I have known so much of this sort of thing, however, that I could not forlwar a word to offset the curious be lief among some young people in the east that the western “bad man” is a more noble figure than the Boston burglar or wife l>eater. He isn’t .4 ('OST I Y CABLE “J. R. W. h ." in Borton AFTER AMERICAN DOLLARS. 1‘eninaiiMhIp of BrltiMli Royalty. At an Old-Time Bar. FIGHTING UNDER ARREST. [Baltimore Day.] [St. Louis Globo-Democrat. ] The Foreign Idea or the l.ooseness of Money in This Country---Keck- onlnir Without Their Host. An expert in handwriting as expres sive of character has “written up” the marks of sundry British statesmen. The members of the present cabinet, with the exception of Sir Charles Dilke, do not write bad hands. The calig- raphv of the late Lord Beaconsfield was elegant, bold and dignified. But of all the writing of ministers, that of the elder Pitt stands pre-eminent for its beauty and symmetry. Like Addi son’s, his handwriting resembled copper plate. The royal family of England have generally written good hands, that of her present majesty being remarkable for its ease and gracefulness. Her pred ecessor, King William IV., wrote legibly and well. The writing of Queen Anne is large and majestic. She signed herself “Anne R.” The first letter of the name was usually a moderately- sized capital, but the succeeding ones gradually increased their dimensions until the final letter reuthed sometimes almost an inch in height. Her irate majesty was wont to rise on her dignity in much the same way. Mary of Scot land signed herself neatly and prettily, ”Marye the Queue.” Both the Charleses wrote plainly and “like gentlemen.” The same may be said of the four Georges, although that of George I. is rather stiff and pedantic. There is a good deal of pompous display in the writing of Queen Elizabeth. Her sig nature especially is resolute but showy. [“Undo Bill” in Chicago Herald.] Thrust your hand into America, grab it full of dollars, and then pull it out. That is the foreign idea of the plenty and looseness of money in this country. In trying to carry it into practice the visitor is pretty sure to learn that we are good bargainers, never buying anything that does not at least promise to be worth its cost in gratification of some sort. I have read that we are fools because we paid high prices for views of Mrs. Langtry, the accusation being that we let ourselves be swindled by expecting to see a good actress. We simply bought a sight of a notorious women and got it. In the case of Sarah Bernhardt, we were willing to give more, because she brought great talent in addition to notoriety; and who can say that we were cheated# Scores of European per formers sorrowfully know that we have de clined to purchase their entertainment, though cleverly importuned to do so. In the present instance of Irving, our instinctive demand of value for value has kept us sensi ble. New York has liked some of his roles and disliked others, praised his merits and condemned his demerits, bought tickets at high rates for such performances as pleased and left the speculators heavy losers on the others. Two men of eminence in a holier profession than play-acting are now being rather un pleasantly instructed in this matter of get ting American money. They are Capel, the English Catholic priest and orator, and Hya cinthe, the French Seceder from the Romish church. Each has world-wide celebrity, each needed a replenishment of his church fund, All Expert Horseman. and each concluded to come to the Yankees [Chicago News.] for the money. Neither is getting it. They Johnny H----- , a lieutenant in my have been socially made welcome in this city, old regiment, was always a great horse and it may lie that private subscriptions will man—one of those men who could help their entirely worthy causes, but the en teach a horse anything, and make a tertainment-buying public is not dealing with them to a remunerative extent Hyacinthe spirited animal out of the sorriest plug. lectured last eveningin Chickering hall, which He was always up to some trick or can hold 3,000 persons, but did. contain only other, in which his trained horse played 300 The receipts could have no more than a prominent part. When we were on covered the expenses. The metropolis cares a scout a favorite trick of his was to little for lectures, and appeals for charity on ride at full gallop into town and drop behalf of foreign building projects do not his horse in a heap right in the street, touch our hearts. Another fact is that our and the intelligent brute would lie own clergymen justly believe that there are there as though dead. He would go as yet plenty of eligible sites for new off and attend to his business and come churches on this side of the ocean. back to find a crowd around the horse Capel has had no backing from Cardinal almost ready to mob him for his cruelty. McCloskey in his mission, and Hyacinthe*re Flinging a leg over the animal’s back ceives no Protestant sympathy of an influ he would come to life, spring up and be ential kind. The failure of the latter to Many a time in draw a crowd to his lecture was manifestly away in an instant depressing to him, and his eyes seemed to dangerous scouts has his ability to drop have a dread of the rows of empty seats. His horse in an instant stood him in good gaze was carefully adjusted, so as not to ex stead, and enabled him to escape cap tend beyond the occupied front. I pitied him. ture. A peculiar thing was that his Nevertheless, I had to laugh when a third of horses would never do their tricks for the originally small audience departed in a any one else. Officers used to take a mild panic. There had been no intimation fancy to some of his trained animals, in the advertisements that he would speak and pay a large price for them, only to in French. He had not delivered six sen find that they were very ordinary and tences in that language before a horror of stupid brutes out of their trainer’s hearing him for an hour without understand hands. ing him took possession of those who were The Inconvenience ofl^llMMH. ignorant of his tongue. A bolder man than [Exchange. ] the rest led a movement to the door, and was followed like sheep after a bellwether. A common notion among uneducated A l.esHon in Real Realism. [Derrick Dodd in San Francisco Post.] Boucicault tells another good story which has never yet appeared in print. The fol lowing incident occurred at Jacksonville, Florida, hist spring, and the clever actor dramatist says it suggested an entirely new idea in dramatic construction, which he pro poses to avail himself of some day. The cur tain had just gone down on the third act of “The Colleen Bawn” when a tall professor like individual advanced to the front of one of the boxes, and propounded the following unlooked-for conundrum to the audience: “Ladies and gentlemen, why is it that Shakespeare is the only real dramatist the world ever produced ?” As no one replied, the tall man went on earnestly: "Is it because of his marvelous knowledge of human nature, or his wonderful command of language and expression# Not at all. Other writers have equaled him in these respects, but the immortal bard is the only dramatist who recognized the evident fact that in real life vice is not punished and virtue is not re warded, asthesickly, sentimental playwrights of to-day would have us believe. There is no last act make-np-all-around-everybody- get married business in his plays. Look at Othello! That’s the way matters wind up in real life. Look at Romeo and Juliet. No “happy denouement” about them. My advice to the public, therefore, is to never sit a play out. Always leave before the last act, just when the trouble, villainy and heart breaking is at its worst, and you will get the real realism and natural ness. ” “Go on! Go on!” said the audience, which «»emed to be profoundly impressed with this reasoning. “I have nothing more to say,” continued the critic, putting on his hat, “except that the curtain will be rung up in a minute. I move that we now adjourn.” And Boucicault says that when the curtain went up he was dumbfounded to observe that there was not a soul left in the house. The Chinaman and Illa Coflin. [Cor. London Telegraph.] The idea of the Chinaman is that when he dies he ought to be buried in the trunk of a tree, and so it comes about that all coffins are designed with a view to keep up the illusion. They consist of four outside tree boards, and are so fashioned together as to l<x»k very like a tree at a little distance. They are, of course, tremendously heavy; but then that is considered an excellent fault. If a son wishes to 1» very polite to his father, or one friend desires to obtain the g<xxl will of another, he makes him a present of a good, solid, heavy coffin. The gift is put into an honored place in the house ready for use. and is shown for the admiration of any friends who may call. The owner would rather go into his coffin than part with it, and, generally speaking, though a Chinaman, may get into debt and be very harshly treated by his creditors, they will leave him his coffin, not wishing to prejudice his entry into the next world, which, according to the Celestials, depends very much upon the way in which a man is buried. I was told that half the Chinese New Orleans Times Democrat. Marseilles and Paris are now con living in Hong Kong were already in happy nected, at a cost of $8,000,000, with an possetwion of their coffins, and ready to enter underground cable. It is laid in a cast them when wanted. iron pipe* six feet below the surface, Yonkers Gazette: When a widow buries and is so arranged that it can lx* from her first hustand she becomes pensive, but time to time inspected. The success of after she gets the second she is usually ex the undertaking is a good omen for __________________ cities that are overladen with tele pensive. graphic and telephonic wires. An Exquisite Verse. people, whose eyes are in good con dition, is that young people have no use for glasses, and that they wear them “just for style.” To those who are tinged with this medievalism it is re spectfully suggested that they wear a pair of glasses for a week and see if they are willing to undergo the incon venience for all the styles in a millinery store. If they try that invention of the evil one, the nose pinchers, less than a week will be necessary, for the tor menting things will gradually slide oil the nose if that organ is at all thick or inclined to perspire. Nose glasses are the abomination to all oculists, for they know that with them no uniformity of position can be attained. A glass to be accurately fitted to an eye must have its focal centre in a line with the centre of the eye. The wearer of the eyeglass sticks that instrument of torture on his nose in as many different positions as he can, with the lenses at all conceivable angles. Then the bowed glasses fret the ears and wear the bridge of the nose raw. The man who would wear glasses for style would wear ear jewelry and corsets. A C aptain Wfeo Couldn’t Keep out of a Fight While ou the Mkirintah Line. [Inter Ocean.] Capt. Wheeler was a born commander of skirmishers. He had a voice like a bugle blast, anil an unusual amount of push anti dash in his composition. He knew all about humau nature ou the skirmish line, its strong points as well as its weaknesses, and seemed guided by an unerring instinct in ordering forward movements. He always aimed to stampede the enemy's skirmishers, and very often succeeded. The men of the regiment had the greatest confidence in him, and obeyed him with alacrity, and so, somewhat to the disgust of the other officers of the regiment, he monopolized the skirmish busi ness. In other departments he was not so great a success. He was unscrupulous and reckless, and was occasionally under arrest. He was at once the pride and the aggravation of Gen. Nelson. The old soldier generally called him a buccaneer, and had him under arrest half the time for some of his “devilish practi cal infringements.” Capt. Wheeler was under arrest after Shiloh, and Nelson was con stantly complaining about tho way his skirmishers acted before Corinth. Nothing was done to suit him, and he was on the line every day fuming and swearing and direct ing. One day he insisted that the post should bo advanced. He didn’t w ant any child’s play. The attempt was made, but resulted simply in a listless skirmish fight. A man slipped down a line of fence, and was in con sultation a moment with the officers. Then he passed along the line to the right. There was a lull. Then rang out tho bugle tones of Capt. W., and the line moved forward. There was no child’s play. There was a terrible racket Then there was a charge, and from beyond the wood came the sound of tho captain’s voice, still urging his men forward. Nelson was delighted and outraged. He sent an aid to recall Capt. W. “Tell tho d—n fool, sir, he is under arrest. Tell him, by heaven, sir, I’ll have him hung if ho per sists in his contempt for me and my orders.” And then as the shout in front told of an other advance, the old general ejaculated: “Splendid, splendid, by h—1, sir, I believe that man will go right into Corinth.” The whole line was in a fever of excitement. Nelson was advancing his posts and taking ** Ruliaina I i ' m ” <’rlticiwni of Washing advantage of every circumstance. Nelson, ton Monument. proud of having accomplished so much, [Cor. St. Louis Globe-Democrat.] was still indignant because Capt. W. had The most prominent object in tho sent him two or three impudent messages. District of Columbia, from every point He hail three different officers under orders to arrest the captain and return him of view, is the Washington monument, to camp. Finally the captain came back. which has gone skyward at a great rate Saluting, he said: “ General, I .have tho since spring, and stands now as the honor to report that the boys have played— ugliest thing for the money human with the rebel line, and that they await your hands could design. This exaggerated permission to drive the Johnnies into their chimney of white marble, rearing ituelf intrenchments. I took a little swing with solitary on the banks of the I’otomac, the boys ami forgot all about the fact that yesterday attained a height of 406 feet, you ordered me to remain in camp. I am and when the work ceases for the now ready to be shot, and you had better season at the end of this week the last shoot me now, because if there is any more course of stone will bo 410 feet above advancing to be done, the temptation will be the ground. Since congress took the too strong for me to resist.” Much to every unfinished shaft in hand and raised it body’s surprise Nelson thundered out, “ Re sist? You won’t resist it at all. You will de by annual appropriations to its present light in it. You will disobey orders every height the monument has been steadily time. And by h—1. sir, so would I. You becoming an object of greater interest to sight-seers, and groups of them visit can return to your company, sir.” An American Debutante In England. [Croffut’s New York Letter.] On first arriving in England six months ago, Miss Detchon (pronounced De-shon, ac cent on last syllable) spent some weeks in Stratford, where or whereabouts, in a plain blue flannel dress (or gown, as they always say in England), she ransacked all the haunts of Shakespeare, and shouted her favoritefparts through the woods and over the hills—a pretty vision, doubtless, to the rustics of those parts. She went to London, and Mrs. Labou- chere and husband became her influential friends, and for some months now she has been chirping in the houses of the nobility. At last Mr. Edgar Bruce, manager of the new London theatre to which the priuce of Wales has given his name, decided to accord her a hearing as a candidate to open that fine place of amusement. “I have just been through a most trying ordeal,” she says in her letter. “In my ap pearance before Mr. Bruce, everything de pended on being in good health and voice. Alas! I caught a slight cold, which tightened and tightened, and closed down on my voice, which grew’ dimmer and dimmer. The vital day came. I was reduced to a whisper and a gasp. I resolved not to run the risk of postponement, but to call up all my resources and depend on pantomime. Creations to Illustrate the Actor. I did it. Desperately I went ahead. I [“Gath” in Cincinnati Enquirer.] I passed perhaps the most distin funned and frolicked recklessly. I sang like a creaking door. I chirruped like a frog. guished actress in this country on the I bobolinked without the bobble. Well, I street to-day, whom I do not personally won. now I hold a contract with Mr. know, and I caught the words as I Bruce, And by the terms of which he brings me passed: “The Inkiness doesn’t pay.” I out properly as a star during the gay Ix>n- thought to myself: Here is a woman don season, on terms highly advantageous brought up in another part of the world, and satisfactory to me.” but she is undoubtedly talking, not On this very point a New York manager about her art. but the profits down at showed me a letter from London yesterday the theatre, which does not especially which said: “Little Miss Detchon, who made concern her, as she has no interest such a hit in “Wives,” has been engaged to there. My belief is that some of our open the Prince's, at the same salary that managers will make a great deal more was paid Langtry here.” money if they keep their eyes off the dollars and at the art. Pieces that are made in this country at present are nearly all written for some one actor, and not based on any genius or interest ing character. An actor is a l>eing to enter into a creation : but our creations are all made to illustrate the actor. What can be expected of a dramatic literature which, instead of seeking in history or human nature for its hero, goes down under the stage to find a .»osturist ami strutter and manufacture lim into a historical hero ? Texas* liiriuins l.ands. [“Hanson" in Chicago Times. 1 It appears that the great Texas past ures of mesquite grass cover at least 150,1X10 square miles, which, it is claimed, will sustain fifty cattle to the squire mile. But in only one place has a test of its capacity been made. A ranch of thirty miles square is inclosed, and now supports 30,000 cattle; nor would it support tuore than 10,000 more by the most careful management. So we may conclude that the mesquite plains would not support more than forty to the square mile, or 6,<M)0.000 in all - quite enough, however, for the needs of this country. Texas contains 274,- 3(55 square miles, of which i is claimed that one-third is farming land of various grades, one-half grazing land of the capacity above indicated, and not more than one-sixth complete des ert—most of this on the gypsum plains and barren mountains. But I appre hend it is too early to make so arbitrary a division: for men are now abandoning tracts they once believed agricultural and moving into tracts they once thought barren. “Aro any of the old-time, ante-bellum bar-keepers «till living ? . , “Jimmie McElroy is probably the only one of tiny prominence I or many years he presided over the bar at I ar num’s at a time when the receipts from this source would have alone set tho table for tho entire hotel. ’Ohl Jimmie, as ho was familiarly culled, was a de lightful compunion, und the stiud, re- apectable citizen who would receive u irink from no other hand than his missed him sadly when he retired to the shades of private life. In those days Barnum’s bar was the rosort for all the men about town. It was there that Edwurd Spencer found the originals of the two characters, the judge and the major, whose efforts to gain a drink at somebody’s expense furnished all the merriment in ‘Kit, the Arkansas Trav eler.’ These were a I)r. Mason and Maj. Ellicott. They were both members of old and highly respected Maryland families, who had descended through regular gradations to the very depths of that terrible decay which is best know'll as shabby genteel. How they lived was a mystery with which tlie world little concerned itself. Every morning found them snugly esconced in a quiet corner of Jimmie's bar-room. Here they would sit unobserved by the patrons, but in such a position that tho faces of the lat ter were faithfully reflected ill the mir rors. Then one would sally forth and approach the bar in an unconcerned sort of fashion. If his presence was unobserved he would rattle the lid of the eraeker-box in such, a manner as to attract attention to himself. Recog nition w’ould usually follow. If invited to drink he would say with a patroniz ing air: ‘ Allow me to introduce my friend. ’ His companion, who had meanwhile silently joined the group, would then be presented. Tho drink once swallowed they would bow tho gentleman politely out and retire to tLeir corner to repeat the strategem again at the first favorable opportunity.” A Warning to Ntage-Ntruck Wlrls. ["Mahlstick’’ in Courier-Journal.] I want to utter one more warning word here to the crowd of young women, many of them well born and well bred, who, flattered by a most vivid imagination, make a rush at the stage-door and clamor for admission. 1 have had, as the well-wisher of one of these aspirants, some little experience within the last few days of the disagreeable task of ask ing favors for another, disagreeable because the result was a foregone conclusion. Here comes to the city a very pretty, amiable girl, supposed to possess enormous talent for the stage. She was induced to come here through promises on the part of a theatrical individual to assist her, which promises were probably found to be of impossible accomplishment. I called yes terday upon the manager of one of the best theatres, an old friend of years standing. ] said to him: “I want three minutes’talk. There is a young lady here from Louisville— aspirations, the stage. Have you a little part, even a line or two, to commence?” “Wait a moment,” he replied. He opened a drawer and took out a list—a printed proof—an nouncing the name of the company soon to open the regular season. The number of names was appalling. “You see!’’ he re marked. “and there are six young women here whom I can not possibly use. As for the list of applicants, all backed by influence, applicants who possess amazing genius, I wouldn't tire you by asking you to read it." On Eating Ho up. [Croffut in Pioneer Press.] For instance. “Don't eat soup from the end [Inter Ocean. ] of a spoon, but from the side.” Such a rule BAPTISM FOB THE DEA D. The comic poets have caught up a new tub» cannot be called established. The very shape The Deseret News, a Mormon journal, stitute for ideas, the original of which was of a spoon proves that it was meant to be says that in hades water is not plenty, the following exquisite verse: eaten from at the end. and to sip from the and baptism cannot be administered— If I were a Lumti-tum-lum titum-too side successfully without spilling, especially least of all, baptism by immersion. In the land of the olive and fig, if the diner has a full mustache, is a difficult Td sit all the dav on the trolle-loi-loo But no one can be saved who is not feat. At the same time the position of the An<i play on the thingee-me-iig. arm is more graceful, if one sips from the baptized. Therefore, “the living may And if in the Rumde-dum tattle I fall A Bridgeport (Conn.) gentleman will •ide. It is no sort of consequence which stand in the place of the dead and re A what’s its name’s all that I crave— mode is adopted—it is merely a question of publish all the rejected poems he can ceive the ordinance vicariously.” This But bury me deep in the what-you-may-call* taste. And plant thing um bobs over my grave. find is “baptism for the dead.” it every day in the year. Tho great column of marble does not convey any impression to the mind but that of surpassing and unnecessary height. It teaches no lesson, it ex presses no symbol, and stands for noth ing but so much stone and marble, and careful workmanship virtually thrown into the air. With neither utility or beauty to recommend it, it fails to impress one with any character or ex pression of its own. The spire of the Strasburg cathedral, to rival which in height seemed the sole object of build ing this monument to the proposed level, has a certain majesty and impres siveness to it. The airy spire that bears the holy cross and the chime of bells has some rational excuse for being, and the great cathedral walls at its base give a balance and proportion to the soaring tower. If the Washington monument were to be a light house, a shot tower, a bell tower, or even a fac tory chimney, it would appeal to one and impress one more than it does now by emptiness and uselessness. “F«r the Brave Dead.” [St. Paul Pioneer Press.] An old story and a good one can be told of Sheahan. He was a fresh lieu tenant in command of raw recruits at Fort Ridgely when that post was be sieged by the Sioux in 1862. Capt. Marsh, his superior, was slain witii a score of men while on the way from tho fort to the relief of the Lower agency, Lieut. Shealian announced the death of Capt. Marsh at parade on the day the news reached the fort. “Now,” said ho, when the sad fact was duly stated, “let us give three groans for the brave dead!” Victory would have called for cheers. Death, to Mr. Sheahan’s Hibernian mind, deserved groans. The whole company under his Bashan-like lead, gave three such howls as would have lifted the hair on the heads of Capt. Marsh and his brave men, had any been left there by their slayers. A Pic-lleiKlm Movcreign. [Exchange. ] “A friend of mine, who was lately in St. Petersburg,” says Mr. Labouchere, “and who had when there a good oppor tunity to look behind the scenes, tells me that the emperor is a pig-headed fool, incredibly ignorant, and that, un less he is puahei’. by bis entourage, he is not likely to trouble the peace of tho world by any grandiose scheme of for eign conquest. 'Will he,’ I asked, ‘give his subjects some sort of a constitution?’ ‘He is too great a fool,’ my friend re- plied. ‘He will continue to do one day what he did the previous day.’" A DILEMMA. [Boston Globe.] To write, or not to write, that is tho question Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer ' The reputation of being asked by A voung^ lady to write in her [autograph And having kept the book two years, more or less, And then not written in it_ Or to take the pen against a host of doubts and fears. And, by once writing, end them! To start— to write— To write—perchance to make a blot—Av there’s the rub; J For in that darksome blot what feelings are Shown forth—nervousness, distrust of self And many others:—Not as When one is writing to his girl, for then If he should make a blot, he draws a line Round it, and savs It was intentional and meant to mark A place where he did kiss. And she yBn,‘ Bnd *“d thinks I That the u happy. BVNLIGIITJII.L THE WAY. [IUi|H>r’s Weekly ] “Good-by, Jennie; the road feu. And Hi.' moor is hard to But well you know there U ’ In the l».gs mid marshy m,™ lint keep .ill th- foot |.„tli, T.1‘ot.... ?! "K,tell'l’t you t.) stray’. I lien you 11 get safely over it ” For there's sunlight all th0'w„v Sunlight all the way; 7‘ So never you fear, Keep a good heart, dear I< or there's sunlight all the way.e The child went off with a bhwfo. And a kiss of mother-love-^ The daisies were down at her feet And the lark was singing abo^ On, ou, in the narrow foot path-- Nothing could tempt her to So the moor was paused at nightfah! And she d sunlight all the wav ' Sunlight all the way; And she smiling said, As her Issl w as spread, “I had sunlight all the way." And I, who followed the maiden. Kept thinking us 1 went, Over the ¡»rilous moor of life What unwary feet are bent. If they could keep the foot-|«itll And not in the marshes stray’ Then they would reach theend’of lif. Ere the night could shroud tbedlv They’d have sunlight all the wa’, But the marsh is wide, J ’ Ami they turn aside, And tile night falls on the day. Fai’ tatter to keep tho narrow x*ath Nor turn to the left or right; ’ For if we loiter at morning, ' What shall we do when tho night Falls back ou our lonely journey, And we mourn our vain delay? Then steadily onward, friends, andWe Shall have sunlight all the way. Sunlight all the way, Till the journey’s o’er, And we reach the shore Of a never-ending day. A WOMAN’S REASON. Why Hweet Oladya Wept, I’titli the Mun in the lltion Sobbed Frombym. pathy. [Chicago Tribune.] “God pity me!” Gladys McNulty, usually so proud and composed and who moved about in the little world of those who knew her with the stately grace of a New York Post editorial, sank on a fauteuil as she uttered these words and sobbed «is if her shoestrings would break. In the lindens that lined the entrance to Brierton Villa the robin redbreasts were trill ing their merriest lays. And yet, lying there on the fauteuil, whose velvety surface is Hot more soft than her cheek, Gladys McNulty is sobbing away the hours of this beautiful June monring and ever and anon there comes from between her white lips a low, despairing moan that is pitiful in its sad in tensity. But finally the convulsive sobs that are racking her dress waist grow fainter andin a little while she sits up, the pink suffusion of a blush telling all too plainly which side she had been lying on. And as she sits there gazing listlessly into the middle of next week, her mother, a pleas ant-faced woman, enters the room. “Why itre you weeping, Gladys?” she asked. The girl does not answer, and strive as she may to keep down the sobs that are welling up from her heart, the effort is in vain and again the pretty face is bedewed with tears. But an instant later she has conquered her emotions and looks bravely up at her mother. “I will tell you, mother,” she said, “the cause of my sorrow. I was crying to think that you cannot go to the matinee to-mor row.” “And why may I not go?” “Because,” answers Gladys, in a voice that is hoarse with agony, “I have concluded to take it in myself.” Used to Be One Himself. [Arkansaw Traveler.] *‘I doan’t want a pusson ter pay all de ’ten tion ter der soul. We mus’ humor de body a little as we go ’long. It’s all right fur yer to sing an’ shout, but I’d rather heah de pot bilm’ wheu I’se hungry den ter heah any song yer ken sing. Music’s mighty tine an’ a pra’r ain’t tad, but 1’11 be dinged ef suthin’ ter eat don’t hit me mighty nachul at times. ” “Anderson, I’se.afeered dat yersel’f ain’t a holy man.” “I kain’t hep it. De Lawd gim me a long in’ fur meat an’ broad jes’ de same as He gin me a soul, an’ ef Hri’ll only take kere obde soul I’ll promise not ter let de longin’ airter flesh suffer much.” “Yer ought ter be ashamed ob yerse’f." “I kain’t hep it, I kain’t hep it, but I’se got a longin’ ter chaw suthin’. Quit er puttin’ meat in the preacher’# mouf when he opens it and see how quick h&’U turn loose de gos- pul.” 'i “Yer oughtn’ter talk dnt way.” “He’d drap it like er jiertater, I tell yer. Oh, yas, da likes ter ring, and some ob ’em ken put up a powerful pra’r, but wheji da set down ter de table, look. out. Eat, why dat black slick nigger what comes home wid yer some times, ken eat more biled co’n den a steer. It’s a k’lamity ebery time dat nigger opens his mouf, an’ greens, he eats greens like a cow eatin’ hay. Oh, I uster be a preacher myse’f. I preached till quit feedin’ mo an’ den I stopped.” They Kol<l Him a Hole. [Wall Street News.) t He was telling tho story in the billiard room of a Denver hotel. Said he: “There were three of us, you see, and Ne vada was a cold climate for us. We were dead-broke, half-starved, and clear discour aged, when along camo a New Yorktr. He wouldn’t play cards, wouldn’t l>e robbed, and we couldn’t stick him with forgeci land patents or bogus pre-emptions. One day we trailed out and dug a hole into a hill and salted it a bit, and rushed back and offer» the New Yorker the big discovery for #3,000 cash down.” “And he bit?” “Took right hold like a pair of pincerx Why, he never even stopfied to taat usdown. We got a cool thousand apiece and made for ’Frisco.” “Purty cool that was.” “Well, I dunno. If there was anything cool in that transaction it was the way tn New Yorker hunted up apard, set udners t work, bought machinery, and took over I iW»" 000 out of that ’ar hole inside of eigM®0®^* Maybe we’ve got over feeling flat, but I guess not” A Fortune in One Recipe. [Cincinnati Enquirer.] A poor soldier went into the sb»® dresser in London for money t> > get back the army. He had already stayed beyond furlough, and he must have quick owns The hair-dresser felt sorry for him nnd g® him the money. “Now,” said the poor soldier, “I have got nothing to give return for your kindness except this li slip of paper, which has on it a recipe ro making blacking.” The soldier gaveft»^ supposing it to be of great value. The man received it, not supposing it to be of great value. But it has yielded the man w took it <3,SOO,000, and was the foundation one of the greatest manufacturing ertw*v uMints of England.