before ino,
[Maurice Thompson.]
A keen. insistent hint of dawn
Fell from the mountain height!
A wan. uncertain gleam betrayed
The faltering of the night.
UNCLE RUFUS
Ar.d H m
Foreign
HATCH
Guestä
Find
Dakota Editor at Home.
ribbed crags of the Black hills and the bull
••aIf pastures of Yankton and Niobrara. He
and his august party of home and foreigu
•Hgnitaries and celebrities, he anti his friends
are welcome, a thousand times welcome, to
Dakotas soil und toiler hearts and homes.
May their whole trip be filled with pleasure
and profit,grand scenery, instruction and fun.
May their eyes be far-reaching enough to do
a way with all nee I of telescopes and field
glasses. May every buffalo they kill lie big
ger than an elephant, and every speckled '
trout they catch uinid the transcendent sub
limity of geysers an I cataracts vie in magni
tude with the whale that swallowed a less
profitable prophet tlian Uncle Rufus. May
their days of enjoyment l»e forty-eight hours
long, and fourteen of them to the week, and
then the time be twice too short for all the
pleasant things that crowd upon them. And
may they each and all return to their widely-
scattered homes, in two worlds and a half
score kingdoms and principalities, refreshed,
delighted, and convinced forever and a day
that primeval paradise has been restored to
earth in the peerless land of the Dakotas, the
far northwestern land of meadows and fruit,
etc., etc.”
AN ACTOR’S MISTAKE.
How Charlie Thorne and Dr. Joyce
Were Thrashed by a Plucky
English Officer.
THE LAND OF TONQUIN.
A Perfect My«teni of Water Carriage
---Beautiful Landscapes, Ntrikiugly
Like Egypt.
[
THE QUAKER POET.
His
Early Work and Poor Pay..»
His No-Method Way of Turn
[Cor. London Standard.]
ing Out Work.
There is probably no other country in the
world that ¡xissesses so perfect a system of
water carriage as Tonquin. The Red river,
[Boston Letter.]
[New York Tribune Interview.)
The departure of Dr. Joyce, author of some fifty miles about Hanoi, branches out
Alore.
“ I was unlike any of the rest, I think, for
Such quiet came, expectancy
into
about
tw-enty
different
streams,
and
“
Dedre,
”
“
Blanid,
”
and
other
novels,
for
Filled »ill the earth and sky;
I never had any methods. Wheu I felt like
Europe, calls up various anecdotes of his jolly j thenceforward to the sea these are connected it I wrote, and I neither had the health nor
Time seemed to pause a little space;
[Dakota letter in N. Y. Tribune ]-
days. He is now terribly broken in health, i and sub-connected by a network of subsidiary the patience to work over it afterward. It
I beard a dream go by!
Some of the foreigners have had queer ex
the wreck of what he was, and it is probable channels. But, although styled only chan- usually went as it was originally completed.
periences. Not only have they had an op-
MEN AND OTHER ANIMALS.
that his ruined health is largely due to do ! nels in eomparisou with the main branches, Emerson wrote with great care, and would
1 lK,,tunity of witnessing a performance at the
mestic troubles. Dr. Joyce had a wide ac they are really navigable river«, as broad, not ouly revise his manuscript carefully, but
g,. T.ixtc». Vice. anil I«<*rnlinrlti<*. i Livingston i Montana) opera houseinthecom-
quaintance of lively people, and among his I most of them, as is the Thames at Richmond. I have often heard him say that he would
I Whirl* They Have In <’oinm<>u.
I ¡»any of cowboys, gamblers and other des-
numerous friends was the late Charlie ’ It is hardly an exaggeration to say that a frequently rewrite the article upon the
|
[Cincinnati Enquirer.]
I
(only to lx? told by the proprietor
Thorne, the actor. When Thorne was in vessel might make her way by compass from proof-sheets. Longfellow, too, was a very
.
lefore
they
got
well
settled
in
their
seats
that
town the two were frequently together, and one pare of Tonquin to another. Steering careful writer. He wrote and rewrote, and
■ Men and anima's have mneh that is
on one notable occasion they were in the bar her course, she would find canals and chan would lay his work by and then revise it. He
KIlltuoii between them In many points they had better “git,” for there might be
room of the Revere house, when the “com nels always available, aol leading in the often would consult with his friends about
Kme animals exhibit the passions, | trouble ), but they have even seen a live
mendable spirits of wine did somewhat 1 requisite direction.
true northwestern stamp.
his productions before they were given to the
■,tes, vicesand peculiarities that stamp !
Up one of these streams the Rurimaru world. He therefore sent his work out as
I he -ight of a country newspaper office was
arouse the nobler emotions and loosen the
Kn. Obstinate men, those gifted with I something
novel to
most of them,
tongue. ” Dr. Joyce was moved to be elo- steamed in the early morning. She had on perfect as great care and a brilliant intellect
Kat quality which Sterne says in man | even to an English newspaper cor-
queut upon the wrongs of Ireland, which board stores for the army at the front, and could make it. I was not so fortunate. I
■ stvled perseverance, in a mule ob- ; respondent accompanying our party. It was
just then lay heavy upon his soul. Thorne ! we carried a couple of hundred iufanterie de have lived mostly a secluded life with little
Knacr, are like the Arctic puffin, or | l*ariy one Sunday morning that we reached
GOT AWAY ALIVE.
offered fresh sympathy with every glass, ' marine. Fine young men they were, and patience to draw upon, and only a few
Kpland mouse. The former seizes the rargo, where we were to stay until the fol-
We beat a hasty retreat when the colonel and the two soon worked each other into a well behaved, but not set up in discipline and friends for associates. What writing I have
Ej of a bone that is thrust into his
intimated the desire to read to us the article, most hilarious state of virtuous and indignant soldier-like appearance, according at least to done has been for the love of it. I have ever
■,),., and will not loose his hold till rest assured that every bit of sleep that might “as it should lx? read, gentlemen,” aud we patriotism. “Why, in this very harbor,” English ideas. The tide was at its loweit ebb, been timid of what I have penned. It is
■awn out and killed. The latter have lingered in us fled at the sounds of a were glad enough to reach the cars in safety, cried the doctor at length, “in the harbor of and our steamer found that there was barely really a marvel to me that I have gathered
Kinder from mountain to mountain, brass tend which struck up “Hail to the for the Englishman showed unmistakable Boston, where the British tea was thrown enough water iu the smaller channel which any literary reputation from my produc
she firat essayed. So we went about, ami, tions.
Kl will turn out for nothing. They Chief, ’ or some other equally appropriate sigus of nervous exhaustion. “In fact, I overboard, is an English ship at this minute; descending
to the sea, a half-dozen miles
haven’t recovered from my astonishment and British officers are staying in this very
“Much that I have written I wish was as
Kve eyes, yet run against trees, stones, tune, as the train rolled up to the depot plat yet,
away, entered one of the other mouths of the deep iu the Red sea as Pharao»:’*» chariot
” he told me only yesterday. “I say,” he house!”
■ks and animals, and bite and contend form. At the same time a number of news added,
Songkoi,
whence
issued a stream full half a wheels. Much of the bread cast on the wa
’
"don’t you think those men
Thorne opened his mouth to swear it was a
boys,
each
bearing
bundles
of
The
Fargo
—
,
Kth every animal tuey meet. They boarded the train and began to distribute the crazy ?”
burning shame, when with a patness sugges-1 mile in width. As the suu rose high in the ters I wish had never been returned. It is
Boss rivers, and at last reach the l>aper right and left.
tive of old comedy, the door swung open and , heavens, and as the country became visible, not fair to revive writings composed in the
Kean, plunge in and are drowned.
THE BABY DODGE.
i iu walked two Grangers. They were in citi-1 the striking resemblance which Tonquin shadow of conditions that make even ac
“
a jolly plawnt .”
Ix^ara to Egypt at once became ajiparent.
A jealous wife resembles a green ma-
The English ojiened their eyes wide as What Happened to a Traveler 11 hile zen’s dress, but it was impossible to mistake j There are the same extensive alluvial fiats, ceptable work impossible. In my early life I
w. If its master cares for a dog or soon
their markedly English appearance and mili-1
not favored with good opportunities.
as they cast a glance at its first page.
Playing
Peek-a-Boo
With
a
kittle
intersected
everywhere with similar irriga was
tary air. Of one nothing further is recorded 1
rat, nothing can exceed its violence They had never seen anything like
Limited chances of education and a lack of
Darling.
tion
cauals.
The
soil,
like
that
of
Egypt,
is
than that he was tall and slender: the other
J fury. Xor will it be appeased un it. They had never seen such a town
books always stood in my way. AV hen I be
[St. Louis Past Dispatch.]
was short and rather under-sized, with light, i formed of deposits from the river which, like gan to write I had seen nothing and virtually
fits master returns and lavishes all “boomed” in a newspaper before. “This is a
the
Nile,
yearly
overflows
its
banks,
and
is
The
very
latest
style
of
confidence
game
is
duilish
whiskers,
single
eye-glass
screwed
|
knew nothing of the world. Of course,
K praise upon it. A petulant girl has jolly plawnt,” declared the younger gentle
baby racket, which was played on a Chi under his right eyebrow, tiny cane, aud a 1 kept within bounds only by an extensive things written then could uot have been
Ktlie airs of the jay; a flippant beau men, while the old members of the party in the
series of earthworks. Then the water, as in worth much.
cago
merchant
who
came
down
on
the
C.
dandified
appearance
generally.
The
pair
|
■e vanity of the magpie. Hellish men dulged <i a quiet chuckle.
& A. to witness the Veiled Prophets and walked quietly to the bar and gave their J Egypt, is deep reel in color, aud possesses the
“Iu my father’s house there was not a
He like the one horned rhinoceros, in-
“Why, this is poetry,” finally exclaimed Trades’ procession. The trick was played by I order, while the two proclaimera of the i property, like that of the Nile, of refertiliz
dozen books, and they were of a severe type.
Le
S.
Hpablc of either gratitude or attach
three young men who boarded the train at “wrongs of old Ireland” glared ferociously ' ing an ex baas ted soil.
The only one that approached poetry was a
“C'a'sqr’s ghost, so it is,” D. chimed ill.
ment. A quick tempered man, forget-
Chicago and left it at some point unknown at the daring Britishers who presumed to I The landscapes of the two countries are also
And these are the startling head-lines tc any of the passengers. 1 lie Chicago man ' venture into their very presence. The strikiuglj’ similar. As far as the eye can rhymed history of King David, written by a
Hg and forgiving the next instant.
contemporary of George Fox, the Quaker.
Hils his counterpart in the Cape nnte- which caused all the commotion:
bad a very tine diamond stud Adorning his | strangere took no notice, and, finding his reach are clumps of palms and villages in There was one poor novel in the family. It
GATEWAY CITY OF THE BLOOMING EVER
shirt front. This
“** ’ was not the last thing the black glances of no effect. Thorne made a numerable, standing out like islands in a sea belonged to an aunt. This I secured one day,
H>e: tierce when assailed, yet taking! THE
GREAT NORTHWEST. WHOSE FIELDS NOW
confidence men saw’ and he was soon , theatrical stride towaids the little dandified of green. The fields for miles are under rice, but when 1 had read it half through 1 was
Hxl the next minute from tiie hand
GLISTEN WITH THE RIPENING GRAIN,
“marked.” Shortly after the train left newcomer. “Drink with me!” he demanded, and there is no more beautiful tint in nature discovered, and it was taken away from
Hat struck it. A domestic man is like
WELCOMES, WITH RIGHT GOOD
Springfield one of the young men walked in the peculiarly offensive fashion of a than the brilliant verdure of the humble me.”
■e aii elope of Scythia, who will not
WILL, EACH ROYAL GUEST
forward, carrying a laughing baby in his drunken bully who is determined to pick a paddy. The district through which we pad-
■t unless surrounded by her mate and
The poet laughed quite heartily as he re
WHO COMES TO-DAY IN
arms. Saluting one of his “pals” the quarrel. “I beg your pardon,” the other re died seemed to swarm with inhabitants.
■tie ones.
called those early days, and his first attempt
UNCLE
RUFUS’
confidence man remarked what a heart plied politely, but with a good deal of the Everywhere hundreds, even thousands of to read something that was more suited to
■.Some men are like the great bat of
TRAIN.
less tiling it was to abandon such a British drawl, “I—aw—am drinking with my them, were to be seen busily at work in the
his youthful mind than the bible or the his
■va: when wounded and unable to
pretty child. The accomplices stood up and friend. Some other—aw—time—should be fields; aud along the banks of our canal they tory
of King David.
■enge the injury, In- wreaks vengeance
stood
in
an
endless
line
—
men,
women
and
in
a
few
moments
the
Chicago
man
was
on
pleased,
’
m
—
aw
—
sure.
”
“
When
I
ask
a
COME TO SEE THE HARVEST GATHERED
“My first glimpse of poetry was when my
■ his wounded limb. The Japanese, THEY
children
—
as
they
gaped
at
the
passing
his
feet
chucking
the
infant
under
the
chin
man
to
drink
with
me,
”
Thorne
blustered
HOME: TO SEE A HUNDRED REAPERS IN A
h it of revenge to others, often rip open
and playing peek-a-boo and tootzie-wootzie. i tipsily, drawing himself back in a fighting steamer. The water, the mud, and the naked old schoolmaster brought a copy of Burns’
SINGLE FIELD; TO VIEW THE RICHEST
men that wallowed iu the latter, were all of poems and read from it at our house. My
The little thing laughed in great glee and the attitude, “damn him, he’s got to drink!'’
■eir own bellies, mid many men cut off
LANDS THE HEAVENS DOME, AND
first- real work was done when George D.
Chicago man played monkey while the tem
The little Britisher looked at his big op- the same reddish-yellow tinge. They pos Prentice was editing The Hartfoi'd Review,
■eir noses to spite their face. Sneaks
WITNESS BEAR TO ITS MOST
porary nurse held up his charge for the ad ponent quietly, then quietly struck out sessed, each of these, a strictly agricultural
He like the Tanoua parrot of Guinea,
SPLENDID
YIELD.
|
miration of the crowd and incidentally passed i straight from the shoulder. The bully’s head aspect, to which the rich crops beyond although I had written considerably before.
■lien he is going to bite yon he ex
I wrote and sent him a few things and he en
his hand under the child's clothes and over to lurched over into a dish of oysters which formed a fitting background.
Hits a disposition to caress. Lazy
couraged me. When he recommended me to
the
Chicago
man
’
s
shirt
bosom,
which
was
graced
the
bar,
and
a
sudden
babble
of
cries
LAST
YEAR
THE
LADIES
SANG
FOR
US
THEIR
A
Tale
of
the
Ninnine
r
Time.
■n living on the exertions of others
I take his place, the publishers wrote me aud I
soon relieved of its headlight.
and paths rent trie air. The plucky little of-
SONGS OF JOY—THIS YEAR FOR THEM
i went down. I had then seen practically
■<l their parallel in the laurus Are-
The man with the child then started back | fleer, without the slightest apparent emo
TIIE HARVESTERS WILL SING, WHILE
During
the
past
summer,
a
handsome
Bus. He loves fish, but he j ever
to get a drink of water and soon returned the tion, turned to drink his ale, whtn Dr. young man and a mischievous young lady , nothing of the world, and for two years I
SHINING SKIES ALL DOUBTS AND
■dies them. He waits until another
child to its mother, from whom the “nice ; Joyce, more excited over the wrongs of old were among the guests at the White Moun remained with The Review my greatest effort
FEARS DESTROY OF WHAT
■rd lias done the work, then scares the
gentleman'' hi I borrowed it to show his wife Ireland than ever, advanced to the fray, tain hotel. The young man was teased ,by was to keep people from knowing how little
THE GLORIOUS HARVEST
■rd and secures the tisli he drops,
in the next car. Like all Chicago men, this flourishing his thick walking-stick like a his friends on account of his habit of lunch I really knew. It was a providential opening,
HOME WILL BRING.
particular visitor from the city by the lake I shillalah. The Englishman raised his cane ing just Lefore going to bed. One evening however, for it gave me a start.
■race Greeley and the vegetarians i
“I wrote continually, but there was no
“squealed” and modestly requested that the ' like a flash, tapped the burly poet upon the he found a large paper-bag of crackers on
■re like the slavgusli, an animal of
market for the work. Sly anti-slavery con.
■ndostan, which attacks with vigor THE-------- , ECHOING THE PEOPLE'S VOICE, A detective force be laid off for a day to hunt wrist, wrenching the big stick away, and his table. Rashly jumping to the conclu victions made my name valueless to any of
THOUSAND WELCOMES BIDS TO EACH AND
up his diamond. On a description, Tucker I flung it over his shoulder. Crash! It went i sion that the mischievous young lady had
■lives, tigers and all the tierce animals,
ALL THE FRIENDS OF UNCAi RUFUS’
and Browning arrested two of the men this ■ 1 into the midst of a big mirror. The con- j made him the gift, he went on tiptoe to the the magazines; but, strange as it may appear,
Kt lives on roots, herbs and fruit. The
CHOICE WHO HONOR FARGO IN
morning, but the Chicago man had gone home, fusion was by this time indescribable. The j door of her room and tossed a cracker The Democratic Review was always anxious
getarians attacked every system and i
THEIR FRIENDLY CALL.
and the confidence men had to be released. barkeeper summoned the proprietor; Thorne through the open transom. The room was for my writings.”
ery theory.
“Was there no market at all i No price set
The baby escaped.
struck out again to be a second time tipped . dark, but the cracker s fall was followed by upon
your work ?”
into the oysters; Dr. Joyce delivered a num a slight scuffling.
Funny Dog Who Fooled a Doctor
He
paused
a
moment
Had
an
Interest
in
the
Fire-Escape.
“None. I just wrote for any paper that
A flattering reference to the newspaper men
ber of opinions far more emphatic than po- and then threw a second and a third.
and Allot It orsted.
would
publish my matter, and if Ixjngfellow,
in the head-lines (in rhyme, too,) 1 leave out
[Detroit Free Press.]
, etic; while all the bystanders lent a baud at Each time a rustling was heard, but no
[Philadelphia N -w«. ]
Emerson, Hawthorne or myself had been
with becoming modesty; but the description
The other day a prominent citizen of De increasing the general din.
one
spoke.
Having
tossed
the
entire
to rely upon the products of our pens
- VO,
es. ■ — ¡The other morning as a belated mein of a visit in company with some other news troit, who has been greatly interested in the
In the midst of all this riot the little dandi- ! contents of the bag into the room the young forced
tiv tha ■ er of the Owl club was steering paper men, including the English correspond subject of fire-escapes, was inspecting a build
for our living, we would have wanted bread
fled
Britisher
was
as
calm
and
unmoved
as
a
man
stole
away,
and
as
he
left
the
corridor
■Mthl ir....,
.......
_
..........
...
.......
[rough the fog which often hangs over ent, to the establishment of The Fargo----- I ing on East Woodbridge street which had
in those days when most of our best work
When the landlord appeared he said met the young lady coming to her room. was
I citv of Baltimore at 3 a. . m., he should not fail to give. Indeed, a paragraph just been equipped with balconies and lad clock.
done. To me this is a queer phase of lit
politely, but with perfect nonchalance: j Troubled in his mind, he made inquiries the erary life, to find that the greatest geniuses
nai'niil
j a roil ■
inviting
us
to
call,
and
pointingout
the
fact
“Sorry for the row—broke—aw—mirror— ! next morning as to the effect of his bombard
is .1 a K uwed a house in .Mission street, where that there were plenty of easy chairs in the ders, and lie summed up his opinion with:
rideil a well-known physician. The
“Well, sir, there’s no earthly need of an ac charge it in the bill.” He finished his ale, ment, and learned to his horror that the first that America has ever given to literature
should have toiled without recouqieiise, anil
Bstibule of this residence was open, office, had appeared on the editorial page in cident here in case of fire. All any employe paid his scot, and ignoring the continued bab- j cracker
thrown hail landed on the head of
forced to wait until they were old liefore
Bd on its side tiie dim rays of the that morning’s issue; and therefore, at the has to do is to coolly step from a window to ble, the threats of Thome and Dr. Joyce’s I the young lady’s grandmother, an infirm old been
the fruits of their labor. Truly, it is
loon, struggling through the gloom earliest opportunity offered we made our way one of the balconies and descend in perfect' protestations as utterly as if they did not ex lady of nearly 80, who was at the mo reaping
hard
work for a writer to get a foothold, but
to a two-story frame structure in one of the safety.”
ist, he turned upoh his heel and walked out ment kneuiing by her bedside engaged in her wheu he does it is a strong one.”
kl iced bv the efforts of the city gas side
streets.
? ♦ 1 o’clock Saturday afternoon this same with his friend. "Now, who in thunder,” devotions. Much alarmed, she had risen to
npanv, disclosed tho mouth “of an
A DAKOTA LIBRARY.
citizen was in the same building when some , queried the landlord as the door swung to be her feet, only to receive a second shot. She
•ustic tube, underneath which was
Nome EngllMhmen Abroad.
rags
took fire on the fourth floor, a smudge i hind the retreating couple, “was fool enough had then retreated to a corner, but being
We had not long to wait before the editor,
lincription: “Whistle for Dr. Potts.”
arose, and an alarm was sounded for the j to interfere with him? Do you know who it further assailed and not being able to form
[Edmund Yates in London World. 1
[Not wishing to be disobliging about publisher and proprietor made his appear steamers.
¡
To English gentlemen resident in America
A mountain of flesh, weighing in the
is?” “No,” shouted the crowd, open mouthed, any idea of the nature and origin of the mys
i small a matter, the owl stumbled up ance.
“Fire! fire!” was echoed through the build- 1 “who is it?” “Why, that is Capt. ----- ; he’s terious missiles, she had finally crept under nothing is more galling than the misconduct
neighborhood of four hundred pounds, from
le steps, and, steadying himself against the top of which a sonorous bass voice bade ing, anil the employes rushed for the stairs , one
of the crack athletes of the British navy.” the bed, where she was discovered in a for of too many of tho “swell” English visitors.
le wall, blew into the pipe with all the us welcome and invited us to enter the “sanc like frightened sheep.
“That little cuss!” ejaculated Thorne, and he lorn condition by her astonished grandchild. A very prominent member of the committee
rengtli of his lungs.
The
eminent
citizen
lost
his
legs
as
soon
as
of the New York Union club complained to
showed signs of setting back into the oyster
tum.”
The physician, who was awakened by
“This, gentlemen, is my library,” the voice he heard the cry—ran twice around the room ! dish for a third time. Louis James took Current Journalistic Exaggeration!«. me bitterly of the behavior of some of the
young Englishmen admitted there. “Why
e resultant shrill whistle near his proceeded to say as« we passed through a without seeing the open door, and finally j Thorne’s place on the stage until his bruises
d arose, and, after wondering at the dingy apartment where shelves were ranged brought up at a window. The sash was hung | could be hidden with paint, while as for Dr.
The great American liars from Erie, Pa., in the world do you let them in?” I asked.
guiar odor of whisky in the room, along the wall and covered with reports and on weights, and yet he pushed, pulled and Joyce he probably relieved his feelings in an and Texas have evidently formed a ¡»artner- “Well,” ho said, “----- ’s name came up yes
oped his wav to the tube and shouted: public documents which didn't seem to have tugged in vain, and finally lowered the top | entirely new and remarkably spirited lyric ship and established branch offices in all the terday for an extension of his honorary mem«
been used since the town was laid out in lots. sash and climbed over. As he descended to upon the wrongs of Ireland.
chief towns and cities. They are turning out lierehip, ami I moved its rejection.” Young
‘•Well ?”
second balcony he left one coat-tail on a
copy fast. We have only time to note the Lord T. went in a morning coat to a din
Capt. Thorne HfteetS M m JT Friends.
Glad to know you’re well,” was the “The finest library in Dakota; this—step this the
nail,
broke
his
watch
chain,
and
took
a
tum
story of a sparrow which c atches six ducks ner party in New York, but his host
[New York Sun.]
ly; “but, being a doctor, I s’pose you way, gentlemen—is my sanctum. Pray be ble which landed him on his back, and he was
“Ah,” he
”
every day, taking hold of them with its bill, was equal to the occasion.
A
Plattsburg,
N.
Y.,
man
came
to
town
1 keep well at cost price, can’t you?” seated.
Cigars having been handed around, there, yelling “fire!” when the engines came not long ago, took a walk to the Bowery, where shaking them as a dog does a rat, and then said, “I we you don’t know our ways. I
“What do you want?” said the man conversation
naturally turned to the paper up. He had to be helped through a window | he met bunko men who relieved him of $8'.). throwing them over its head; of a will w ait with pleasure until you have changed
pills, not caring to joke in the airy which had been handed to us.
a ad down stairs, and when a heartless wretch
He went back to Plattsburg and related his young man in Alabama, who for your dress.” Lord W. di*i the same thing at
thing of his nightshirt.
“Remarkable enterprise that!” one of us ex in the crowd asked him how long he had experience. Capt. Thorne, of Plattsburg, several years being destitute of beard had ii very smart party at Newport Lord M.
practiced the “escaping” business, he re-1
gave a check for a considerable sum, which
“Well,” said the party at the other claimed.
heard the story, and, when he brought a boat a hard knot in his neck cut open was returned dishonored. This year inatters
il of the tube, after a few moments’
“We couldn’t do it better in the east,” re plied:
and found a beard all rolled up
load
of
lumlx?r
to
the
city,
a
few
days
ago,
“None o’ your business, sir. Driver, take
seem worse than ever. Some of those who
dilation. “Oh! by the way, are you marked another.
he determined to keep an eye to windward and nicely packed away in this wen; of a went west as guest« in the party of Mr. Hatch
ung Potts or old Potto?”
“You are pleased to say so,” benignantly me home. ”
Bridgeport (Conn.) “professor” who has in
for the land sharks.
seem to have outraged all decency; and very
lam Dr. Potts; there is no young acknowledged the mountain.
Too Well Educated.
While the boat was lieing unloaded at Mott vented a brass belt with a nipple from which severe reflections are made, (»specially on two
“Extraordinary poetry—”
[Merchant Traveler.]
Haven the captain went down to Washing he noiselessly project« a pellet, and which, in young descendants of our eminent law-lords,
THE MOUNTAIN IN LABOR.
“Well, Col. B.,” said a friend of education ton market to order supplies. On Greenwich the presence of a witness, killed a dog in fif which they should surely, for their own credit,
Not dead, I hope.”
There never was any. I have no
w! This is nothing with us! Why (a in Kentucky to a member of the legislature, street a man shook him by the hand, called teen minutes without the animal’s kuowing refute if they can.
vigorous ¡niff at the cigar and bringing his “I suppose we can have your support this him Mr. Lowe, and expressed pleasure at see it was hit, and finally of a St. Louis man,
Comment is made, too, of the preposterous
who, by means of two plates of glass one-
ing him.
Then you are young Potts and old fist down on the table), during the Chicago winter.”
airs which some English and Irish me., give
“I ain't Mr. Lowe,” said the captain; “I’m thirty-sixth of an inch a|»rt and filled in themselves on the Atlantic steamers. Lord
“What furP
•tts too. Dear, dear, how singular.” convention and all through the campaign
with glycerine, has made a telesco|>e with
“In our educational interests, of course. Mr. Thome, of Plattsburg.”
What do you want?” snapped the that followed Garfield's nomination we kept
H. (the identical Irish peer who was thrown
are agitating the question, you know, all I Soon afterward another man approached which he is able to see a carmine sea, strange in a state of irrepressible indignation when,
tor, who was beginning to feel as if these poetic head lines going—and mighty We
the captain and called him by name. They bat-like birds, and insect men with rudimen by an accident, his wife was sent down after
over the state.”
good
poetry
it
was!
Let
me
read
you
some.
legs were a pair of elongated Jones! (calling to a hungry looking indi
tary arms and wings, or antenna?, who were
‘Dog on your educational interests. I shook hands.
some lady of lower rank at a Brighton dinuer
fishing in the sea.
“How are the folks?” said the new-comer.
vidual)—Gentlemen, this is Mr. Jones, my don't want no more of it in my tea.”
party, and exclaimed excitedly, to the con
“You know old Mrs. Peavine, who managing editor—Jones, just get me those
“Pretty good,” replied the captain.
“My dear colonel, you surprise me! What
TeMtlna; Brakemen'« Tongue«.
sternation of the company: “Lady H. must
es in the next block?”
makes you talk that way? Are you not in
“Having pleasant times in town?” contin
files—”
have her rights!” asNUined on the Adriatic
“Yes._______
Is she sick ? What’s wrong.”
ued the stranger.
I will not enrich you w ith the lyrics to favor of education f’
On the New York, New Haven & Hartford airs such as all the queen’s sons put together
“I'm meeting lot« of friends,” said the cap railroad one of the tests exacted from candi never gave themselves in their lives. “I
“No, siree, I hain’t.”
“Do you know her nephew, too—Bill which he treated us in the course of the next
tain.
“Why not ?”
riggs?”
half hour. In a stentorian voice, and with
dates for passenger train brakemen is the want a bath by 8,” his lordship said, im
“Who are theyf' the man asked.
“Well; because I hain't. It makes more
“Yes. Well?”
the finest expression, he rolled these sweet
ability to make a distinct announcement to periously, to the barber. “You can’t have it,
“Well,” sai*i the captain, “there’s you and passengers of the names of the several stations. sir; it is engaged.” “But I must have it,”
[“Well, we went up to Bridgeport morsels of thought under his tongue, all the work forme; You see, before I was eddi-
time glancing furtive glances upon his audi cated all I had to do was to make a cross another bunko man, and-----”
On most of the railways it seems impossible said this magnifleo of the ¡xs?rage of Ireland.
tooting this morning, and----- ”
mark fur my name, but now I’ve got to
The stranger did not wait.
for the average brakeman to speak plainly. “Do you know who I am?” “No, sir.” “I
rAn*l he had an accident? Hold up ence to see what impression he was produc wrassel
with
a
pen-pint
half
an
hour,
and
Any sort of jabber that happens to come am Lord II.” “Ah, indeed,” pleasantly re
ing.
Wretched*««'* in Central Park.
[minute. I ll be down.”
run
my
tongue
out
like
a
slice
of
liver,
jest
THF. COLONEL ENTE11S.
into his mouth he considers to lie jnst as good joined the battier; “glad to make your ac
“No, he’s all right: but lie got sixty-
[New York Graphic.]
tiecause I’m eddicated and kansign my name.
It was a relief to us when the entrance of a Go and try some of them ignorunt members.
There is a good deal of wretche Iness drift as the mention of the real name of the sta quaintance, I am sure,” and in a trice the
fo ducks—eighteen of ’em mallards. I
barljer gripped the lordly paw and vigor
gentleman interrupted the reading. He was I'm too well eddicated myself to be fooled ing about Central park. It eddies into nooks tion.
ionghtyon might like to hear it.”
ously staxik the same, to th»? ecstasy of tho
and corners and by-places. It is alxiut the
The Wershlp of Mtatlstle«.
■
And the joker hung on to the muzzle introduced to us as “Col. F. D., author of any furder.”
bystanders and the ineffable disgust of tlio
that
famous
Fourth
of
July
speech,
you
only place in New York where wretchedness
Ll laughed like a hyena digging up a
01» It bullock.
know, gentlemen."
can find a place to sit down. So long as it
The Windom of Polley.
This is a calculating age. Counting is its shaken. It is really a blearing when such
He nodded assent, but we must have looked
keeps itself upright and doesn't fall asleep so favorite occupation. It worships figures. men as the dukes of Buckingham and Suther
[Arkansaw Traveler.]
I “I say.” came down from the exasper guilty,
for the colonel at once put his hand
De ’possom was neber thought ter hah long it may remain undisturbed by the park Nothing is considered valuable unless it ran land. Lord Dunraven and Elpbinstone, ami
kd M. D., “that’s a jolly good joke, into one of bis capacious side pockets, pro
sense, but he's mighty smart. He has guardians. Here are often seen women, lie counted. Quantity is the teat of excellence men of that stamp visit the United States as
friend. Won’t you take some- ducing therefrom a bundle of pamphlets much
fooled many a man in pretendin’ like he was young and middle-aged, of hopelessly melan and vast nuinliers command the highest rev a set-off to the miserable sjiecimens of the
Ling?”
which proved to I» the famous speech, anil dead, while de coon, what all oh de animals choly asjiect. sitting hv themselves. From erence. The popular mind has become in ¡leerage and sprigs of nobility who bring dis
hat?” said the surprised humorist, which he proceeded to hand to those present. call jedge, r’ars aroun* an' neber fails ter git their shoes to their faded bonnet strings they sane on the subject of statistics: all our credit on their order there.
seem asking, ‘ What is it all for and what is view» of life, all our verdicta of success or
ausing for breath.
"He is the author also of that fine editorial, hurt.
<w«»t to Do Hornet blns.
the use of it all?”
“Why, take something. Take this.’ gentlemen, you admired so much this morn-
failure, all our estimates of worth, are based
another hero .
[ R. J. Burdette. |
on columns ot figures.
I And before the disgusted funny man illg. ”
V anted to Keturti Illis License.
“Yes,” the tall, thin passenger admitted,
The object of these remarks bowed his ac
told withdraw his mouth, a hastily
[Rockingham
R/x'ket.]
“
Obey**
Dropping
Oat
[Arkansaw Tra\ tor.]
“a crying baby is indeed a sore trial But
toipminded mixture of ink. ipecac and knowledgments. It is but just that the article
Our register of deeds received the following
then you must remember that the baby can
Old Jim
kfeetida squirted from the pipe, and referred to should speak for itself. I quote
postal card a few days since;
No gentleman who wishes to I m * thought in not swear, and when a human being is being
That
’
s
him
Hnged him from head to foot, about a parts of it :
------- , N. C.
Standin’ down vender along side the “coon.”
good form will use the word “obey” in the dandled up and down on the hose end of a
PASSAGES AT LARGE.
Mr. R egister .—D ear S ir I write to fine marriage ceremony. The boston ministers
hit monopolizing his shirt front and
Can t see,
out if there is any way to get money back as nearly all of them “chew” it, and that ought two-inch safety-pin, it’s got to do son>»>thing,
Il ollar.
Not he.
“Let the bawl« play ‘Hail to the Chief.
wus burnt out the fust o’ last I will have to Return Thee- License as the to arttie it for the outride barbarians of tne an<l if it can't swear it must holler.” And
i And while
— he danced
----- .. frantically Sound the bugles, strike the drum«. Ix?t the For his eves
the jury was only out alxmt two minutes,
girl has went back on me an*I is Run away
June.
cloth.
I tound. sponging himself off with his the timbrel and harp give forth their gladsome
Let me know soon. Respectfully,
----- .
and then came in with a verdict for the de
Didn’t go in
todkerchief, and swearing like a pirate notes of welcome. ‘Uncle Rufus’ has earned
'Mong smoke an’ din
Mrs. Miller, the mother of Joaquin, has fendant.
Remember aye the ocean-deeps are mute;
it 1 Ike last act, lie could hear a voice the gratitude and affection of every true Da Ter m W a child whar the flames grower
The
shallows
roar.
been
married at Portland. Oregon, to a
Is
kotan. from the golden grain fields of the
thicker.
The British army is in high glee, the war
torn above sweetly murmur:
Worth is the ocean; fame is but the bruit
young man name«I Allison. who
formerly dejiartrnent having abolished the order sul>-
naradisean Red River valley to the silver
Ixwt his sight.
“Have some more? No! AA-ell, ripple« of the far Cbevenne. from the won
Along
the
shore.
a farm laborer. The bride in 00, while be is jectiag the soldiers to regular shaving, and
In another fight—
—[Schiller
toi-night. Come again soon, you drous confine« of the Yellowstone to the gold- Trying ter down some five-cent licker.
but 21.
whiskers are Rerouting all along the line.
The enr'hasis of silence made
The f«»g above the brook
Inten-elv |>ule; the trees took on
A huuuted, haggard look.
f
tony dog, you.
By-by.”
1 Joiiy Plawnt'' «f Povtry-.-Tlic
“friiirNt Library tu Dukota“
—The Editorial Eagle