YAMHILL REPORTER.
A. V. I< MiYIlEK. Proprietor,
M c M innville . - - O regon -
HE UNDERSTOOD IT.
How a Squatter Enjoyed the Opora ol
Iolantha--Knew He Wasn’t
Drunk.
Tiie Language of W Ink'*.
In I ant Tennessee.
Between the Chilhowee and Smoky
mountains there is a picturesque valley,
about six miles in length and of a vary
ing width of from a few hundred yards
to almost a mile. Some beautiful
streams come leaping and laugh
ing down the mountain sides, forming a
creek which rushes through the valley
with suiicient strength to turn a mill.
The soil is rich, and would yield
abundant crops if properly cultivated,
but the cultivation is of the most primi
tive and thriftless kind. The pole and
brush enclosures around the little farms
can hardly be called fences. The valley
was first settled more than a hundred
years ago, and there is not yet in it a
house worth $50.
The men are a thriftless, and do-
nothing set, who wander about over the
woods with long rifles on their shoul
ders, and yet they told me that all game
had long ago disappeared except s piir-
rels, and, added one, “they is moighty
scace.”
I stopped at the best house in the
valley to get a lunch. It was a double
log hut, with four doors, but no win
dows. I did not see a window in a sin
gle house in the valley. .The owner of
the house where 1 stopped seemed to be
the head man or chief of the clan, ex
ercising a controlling influence “in all
matters of public interest.”
He is about 60 years of age, and is
stout and strong. From him I learned
that there are seventy-five voters in the
valley, of whom only twenty-seven can
write their names, and that he himself
cannot rea l. There are three school
commissioners, and of them only one
can read.
The lunch with which I was served
consisted of bacon and beans, cold,
bread so hard that I could scarcely
masticate it, and good milk and butter.
But it was given with great cordiality,
and even with manifest joy and pride.
The old woman sat at the table chew
ing tobacco and spitting on the floor,
evidently proud of her accomplishment,
and anxious to show her skill in spit
ting tobacco juice between her black
and snaggy teeth. The old man sat
against the door smoking a short
stemmed black clay pipe, giving me a
history of the valley. He said when
he was young there were pleuty of
deer and bears, and “no eend to fish in
the crick, but,’’ he added in a very sad
tone, “they is all gone now. and I think
hit wus the war that has gonned them.”
[Arkansaw Traveler.]
An old squatter, while in the city recently.
, accepted an invitation to attend the opera.
A Locksmith*» IMseonrae on Momr of The old man had no idea of wliat an opera I
the Peculiarities of
III,
Cue- was like, didn't know whether it was a place
I turner-.
<>f worship or an exhibition of improved tire
arms, but he agreed with that promptness ot
[New York Sen.]
“Oh, no, I wouldn’t care for thieves’ decision characteristic of a man who is nevei
trade—it isn’t worth a cent. But give daunted.
me the servants* trade and all the night The opera was Iola tithe, and when the
fairies began to inarch around, in their
key business, and 1 would do well. shrill
but not unmusical evolutions, the old
New York is the greatest place on earth squatter
turned to Ins friend and said:
in which to sell night keys. l>id you
“Mighty peart lookin' gals. Clothes ain’t
know that night keys are generally hardly fltten for winter, but they’ll do
lost near men’s own houses ? The rea mighty well for summer wear. Air they
son is that many men when they have nachul, like the gals you sae walkin'aroun’,
been a little indiscreet at the club com or air they some sort of contrapshun rigged
mence to make elaborate preparations up by the Yankees. I* have hearn that the
for entering their houses while they are Yankees ken make a ta kin’ machine, an’ I
still a half a block or more away. They reckon if they ken do that, they ken make
will get the key ready first, and while sut hin' ter squeal.”
“They are natural women,” tho merchant
they are pulling their clothing straight
replied.
or fixing their hat, will lose it.
He sat for some time watching the per
“A customer of this kind that I had formance.
Occasionally he would shake his
for six years told me once how he got a head
in doubt, and then with an affirmative
lesson. It seems that lie always had to no<l, he would approve of some turn affairs
work on a particular [dan -couldn't had taken.
help it. He would first take out his
“Them fellers muster come from the over
key, and then sit on his doorstep to pull flowed destricks,” he said pointing to the
of}'his boots. During the latter opera lords in knee-breeches. “Either that or cloth
tion he would lay down his key and lose muster been scarce. Look at that Slim Jim
it and be obliged to ring. Sometimes of a feller hold in’ up the coat tail of the old
he would lose both the key and his buck. ”
“That’s the lord chancellor,” whispere-l the
boots, but he never dared to mention
the fact at the breakfast table. He merchant.
cloth ain't scarce with him. He’s
asked mo once—it was the day after got “Wall,
to spar’. Ef he wüster come out in
Christmas—to guess what present his my some
some feller’d step on
wife had given him. Well, sir, it con them neighborhood
coat tails an’ ax him his business. It’d
sisted of eleven night keys and be fun for my son-in-law to put his number
three pairs of boots. Between the ten on the tail eend of that garmint an' say,
servant girl ami the milkman the crop ‘whar yer travelin’, podnerf Ef the Simmon
bad been gathered in and given to the boys wüster see him they’d say he was the
the old lady in a single year.
devil. Look at ’em. They sing at each
“There’s one fact that I never could other. It's the whinin'est set I ever seed.
Oh,
it's a show, is it? Why don’t
account for, and that is how men with
good memories otherwise will fail in the they fetch out the bosses? The shows
what
thev
was
when
I
matter of keys. A man sent for me ain't
down town on three occasions to pick a was a youngster. Them fiddlers down thar
is a poke easy set. They air what we’d call
lock for him when he had the key about easy
’Mind me of the chillun
him each time. He was one of the regu rakin’ scratches.
around whar the ’taters was dugairter
lar losers, and had tried all sorts of the stray
ones. Now they've commenced to
ways to get over the habit. At last he dig a little. That feller with the big fiddle's
tied .the key around his neck. When lm got the grubbin’ hoe. Zig, he’s found a fresh
sent for me he was trying one pocket hill an’ is t'ariu it all ter pieces. Now the
after another in a perfect fury. Just as other fellers air scratchin’ ail around him.
I got the jiicker to work he yelled, Now tlie’re over inter the goober pea patch
‘Great Jernsalem! Here it is around an’ air rakin up the dirt. The big feller
The Russian Stove.
my neck!’ Ho did the same thing kain’t git his grubbin’ hoe over the fence,”
[Foreign Letter.]
and then as a blast from the cornet rang
twice.
The Bussian stove is made of fire-re
“How do people in general lose keys? throughout the house, he added: “Thar's
g inner horn.”
sisting porcelain, is always ornamental,
Well, with them it is mere carelessness the The
came down and the old fellow and frequently a highly artistic, hand
and forgetfulness, ami they generally sat for curtain
a moment in silence.
some article of furniture. Internally
find them again. It requires a genuine
“Air they coinin’ back airtor dinner?”
it is divided by thick fire-clay walls into
key crank to lose a key instantaneously,
“Yes,” the merchant replied.
several upright chambers or flues,
completely and forever. Some folks,
“Then we'll wait an’ see the crap gathered.
mostly women, lose keys from a habit I al’ers like to see the thing well done,” and usually six in number. Some dry fire
they have of playing ■with them. You again he devoted himself to deep reflection. wood is lighted iu a suitable fireplace,
and is supplied with only sufficient air
will notice they often dangle or twirl The curtai l went up again.
“Thar comes the fellers with short britches to effect combustion, all of which
them around their forefinger, and if
they only remember—which they gen an' the gals with wings. That big feller ken enters below’ and passes through
erally do—to twirl them over a boat sing putty well, an' aint afeered to open his the flue. The products of combustion i
rail or a bridge rail or a grating of mouth, but that slim rooster that being thus undiluted with unnecessary
some kind, they only do what I would tries to squeal like a ’oman is cold a:r, are very highly heated, and in
mighty po’ business. I know sing this state pass up compartment No. 1. ,
generally be prepared to expect of in
in’ when I hear it, an’ ef I wus ter git up thar They are then deflected and pass down
them.
sing I’d make that feller standin’ down No. 2, up No. 3, down through No. 4,
“Men in general lose keys by leaving ter
t har drop that stick. I couldn't go along an’
them at home or at their offices. I have sing ef a man stood up an’shuck a stick at again up No. 5, and down No. 6. At
noticed that my key business has im me. It mout be in fun, but I would't like it. the end of this long journey they have
proved considerable since elevated When a man shakes a stick at me he’s got given up most of their heat to the
railroads came in: they make some ter stop right thar an* explain. Ah, Lawd ! twenty-four heat-absorbing surfaces of
people hasty and careless. I have also I wish Nip Tucker was here. He'd git up the fire-clay walls. Then all communi
noticed that people who live out of on that flatfo’m amongst them picture cation with the chimney is cut off', the
town and do business in the city buy a an’ sing them fellers outen countenance fire is put out, having done its work,
great many keys. Their whole mind in Now, Nip’s a singer. I tell yer what and the interior of the stove has bot-
the morning seems to be bent on catch he dun. Yer know whar the old Aimes tk d up its caloric ready for emission
place is. Wall, 'tuther night I was a sittin into the room, and passing through the
ing their train.
the fence at home, an' Nip was over at the non conducting walls of the stove, is
“Babies and young children get away on
Aimes place a singin', an’ I could hear him.
with lots of keys. I don't see how they Three miles away, mind yer. Now what sort radiated into the apartments.
dispose of them so effectually. I know of a show would these fellers have with a
A Mongol Characteristic,
of three deaths from key swallowing. If man like that? Thar’s the feller with the
[British Quarterly Review.]
a key gets crossways castor oil is of no grubbin’ hoe. Look at that little feller with
With many good qualities, and with
use. Yes, castor oil still lias the call in a hatchet hackin’ on the stump. They air almost a superabundance of religion,
these cases. The old notion of making airter a rabbit. Zounds how the dogs scratch,” the Mongols have no love of truth, and
a baby swallow a lock as a cure for swal and the imaginative old fellow could scarcely are wont to despise a man who cannot
keep his seat. Associating every sound with
lowing a key has no practical value.”
an action, and living an almost figurative meet the stress of daily events by an
On one occasion, traveling
life,
the squatter, when his emotions are apt lie.
Inconvenient to Interview.
stirred, can not remain quiet. “Thar's the with a guide over the desert, Mr. Gil
dogs smellin’ in the hole. Bim, the big fel mour was frequently asked whether
The honor of an audience with the ler’s gone to work with the grubbin’ hoe. he carried a revolver.
He con
king of Burmah involves some incon Now they all jine in an’ air makin’ the dirt stantly made the truthful reply
veniences. In spite of the frightful fly. They are huddlin’ together, and if they that he did not. This so aroused
sun of that country it is strictly for don’t mind the rabbit'll run out. Zounds! the fear and excited the indignation of
bidden to open a parasol after passing thar he goes, bookerty, bookerty. Head the guide that his employer’s sad state
the first palace gate, and then one must him, head him! Through the fence. Whoop!” became a matter of deep thought, result
“Look here, sir,” said a man in authority, ing in this solution. He suggested
cross an enormous courtyard bare
headed, without any shade except a tapping the old man on the shoulder. “If that to all future queries Mr. Gilmour
littlo fan. One must also either avoid you don’t behave yourself I'll put you out of should reply: “Supposing I have,
passing before the central gates of the here. You ought to have better sense than what then? Supposing I have not,
here drunk.”
palace building, or else do so with the to “ come
what then?” The canny Scotch wit of
I ain't drunk.”
body bent almost at right angles. Fi
the missionary led him to learn a lesson
“Yes you are.”
nally, when you come to the side door,
“You’re a liar, an’ I'll fight yer. rabbit er even from a Mongol. “I saw no harm
by which alone it is lawful to enter, no rabbit.”
in this form of answer, agreed to use
yon must leave your shoes at the bot
“Hold on,” said the merchant. “Don't fight it, and have often since staved off’ in
tom of the stairs and walk for several here. ”
the same manner impertinent ques
hundred yards over the scorching
“Well, he kain’t say that I'm drunk, when tions.”
planks until you reach the throne hall, I’ve been wantin' a drink of whisky ever
Ancient Kilins in Sonora.
where you must squat, taking care to since two hours by sun.”
[Chicago Times.]
“Come on, the show is over.
hide vour feet as much as possible until
LOSERS
OF
KEYS.
the king deigns to issue from his pri
Decaying Xcw York l>u(l ism.
vate apartments. When he does come
[Boston Traveler.]
lie- speaks from behind a screen, and a
It is said that a reaction has taken place
confidential attendant repeats his au among the young bloods of Fifth avenue, and i
gust words.
that the dude make-up is rapidly being rele
A Million or the “queer.”
I stopped with n friend in the rogues’
gallery of the treasury the other day
for a few moments. « rites a Washing
ton correspondent. It is a small room
about a dozen feet square and its walls
are lined with the photographs of coun
terfeiters of all ages, sexes, and races.
The secret service of the government
has several thousands of these photo
graphs, which it keeps in this way and
in large scrap albums. Here all the
counterfeit money seized is kept in a
great iron cupboard at one end of the
room. In one compartment of this
there are $1,1X10,000 of counterfeit
paper, bank-notes and shinplasters tied
up in bundles and piled up until the
compartment is almost full to bursting.
Each note has the word "bad" punched
out of it, and nearly every one of the
makers of these many kinds of notes
has a lodging in some state penitentiary.
In tho compartment below are bags of
counterfeit gold and silver, representing
hundreds of thousands of dollars, and
in others at the sides are plates, dies
and weapons used by the counter
feiters.
When Adam got tired naming his de
scendants, lie said: “Let the rest be
divided into two parts, calling on. part
Smith and the other Jones."
Land Along the Canadian Pacific.
[Inter Ocean Interview.]
“What is the character of the country
along the line of the Canadian Pacific?”
“Generally speaking it is good, although
there is, of course, much land in the plains
which does not possess very great value. For
a considerable distance west of Winnipeg, al
though the laud is very rich, there is but
little under cultivation, in consequence of the
unfortunate fact that it has been all secured
by speculators who are holding for au unrea
sonable advance. You see, this road, like
other new roads, is made to suffer by this
disposition to speculate in lands rather
than to improve them. From Portage la
Prairie, which is fifty-six miles west of Win
nipeg, to Brandon, seventy-seven miles
farther, the country is well settled, and es
pecially in the immediate vicinity of the two
towns named is under a high state of cultiva
tion, showing extensive fields of as tine wheat
Ancient ruins which surpass anything and oats as I have ever seen anywhere. Set
of the kind yet discovered on the Amer tlers are opening farms along all the nu
ican continent have been found in merous streams which are crossed or fol
Sonora, about four leagues southeast of lowed by the road. I was surprised to find
Magdalena. Mexico. There is one pyra excellent wheat, oats, and rye growing in the
mid which has a base of 4,350 feet and valley of the Bow river, MU miles west of
Winnipeg, almost within the shade of the
rises to a height of 750 feet. It has a Rocky
Not only grain, but very
winding roadway from the bottom lead nearly mountains.
all the leading vegetables can 1«
ing by an easy grade to the top, wide grown successfully
all along this line.”
gated to swells of the second class. The dude
costume is now chiefly worn by young gentle
men in the ribbon <1 \ artment of some dry
goods emporiums, who. having invested heav
ily in the broad, curled brim hat. tight pant enough for carriages topass over, which
aloon^, stuffed frock coat, and tooth pick is many miles in length. On the sides
shoes cannot afford to get other clothes at of this mountain a people of unknown
present. The upper swellshave, for the nonet», age have cut hundreds upon hundreds
become conservative, are wearing wide of rooms, from five by ten to sixteen or
trousers, boots more nearly resembling their eighteen feet square. These rooms are
feet, and less conspicuous coats, collars and cut out of solid stone, and so even and
hats. They retain the silver-beaded stick, true are the walls, floor, and ceiling, so
however, which is reasonable enough, and
which cannot be carried by the cheaper plumb and level, as to defy variation.
swells, except on Sundays and semi-occa There are no windows in the rooms,
sional visits to the theatre. In the mean and but one entrance, which is always
while the dudus, or female swells, are imi from the top. The rooms are eight feet
high from floor to ceiling. On the walls
tating their male associates, as usual.
|
i
'
1
are numerous hieroglyphics and repre
California's fly stems of Irrigation.
sentations of human forms, with feet
[Chicago Herald.]
and hands of human beings cut in the
There is a saying in California that if a stone in different places.
man buys water he can get his land thrown
in. The literal fact is that the value of much
of the land depends solely upon the water
which it holds or controls. Four systems of
irrigation are practiced: First, flooding the
land. This is possible only in flat districts,
where there are large heads of water. The
second is by furrows, by which a large head
of water is brought upon the land and dis
tributed in streams as small as will run across
the ground. The third is by basins dug
around tree roots, to which water is brought
by pipes or ditches. The fourth is by sub-irri
gation; the water is carried in pipes laid from
two to three feet below the surface and let out
to permeate the soil.
[St. James’ Gazette. ]
I
III tlurae North American »tab-H in which
the »ale of alcoholic liquor, i» by law forbid
The Queer Partnerslrips Which Were den the cheiniMtM and druggists wlm keep
.piritaoetensibly for medicinal purpose i»ll
Often Found in the Army.
targe quantities of them to people who »re
»uttering from nothing more serious than
thirst Till» kind ef trade ha», however, to
[Inter Ocean.]
be conducted with many precaution», anil iu
The housekeeping ai rangements of soldiers »nine districts elaborate csles of signal.» have
were subject to all sorts of variations. These tasm invented to enable cu»tomers to
differed in different regiments, even as to tho privately make known their illicit desires
general features, and it is extremely difficult to the store keepers.
to present any one man as a type of the army
in Stillwater, Minn., for instance, to wink
housekeeper. In nearly all regiments tho once is to ask for soda mid rye whisky; to
plan of employing a company cook was wink twice and smack the Ups is to demaud
abandoned when active campaigning com half n tumbler of Jamaica rum; to stand
menced. Mess cooks succeeded; but when tho With the forefinger ami thumb in t lie waist
interminable marches in Kentucky, Tennes coat pocket aud a»k mildly for banana sirup
see, Georgia and Alabama commenced, these is u> convey u hint tlmt ginger brandy would
gave way to another arrangement. The be gratefully received; to wink tlinee and
actual fighting strength of the company on jerk tiie thumb over file left slioulder im
such marches was rarely more than fifty men. plies that gill is the liquor required; and
For the sake of convenience in issuing rations when a customer transfers his quid of tobacco
the company was divided into three messes or from liis mouth to his left hand tho clieiiust
divisions, each with a recognized chief. These
once pre|ars a hand-made sour mash.
messes were formed of men who naturally as at
Ami. although tiie list of American drinks is
sociated together when this could be doue, a long one, tile Stillwater code is so complete
blit they often had nothing in common.
that it even enables tlie thirsty soul to signal
The company sergeant, detailed for the whether he prefers much or little lemon
purpose, drew the rations for the company, juice in his cocktail.
divided them into three parts, and calling a
representative of each mess assigned a part
C ured Ills lliiinp.
to each. This was divided into sixteen or
thirteen parts, as there were sixteen or thir
A day or two ago, a» the passengers
teen men, by the chief of mess, and some
man turning his back as each successive pile were leaving one of the ferry-boats, a
was touched in answer to the question, gentleman who stood beside a customs
“Whose pile is this.'” assigned it to some par officer remarked:
ticular man. Each man at once took charge
“When I see it poor fellow like that 1
of liis own crackers, meat, potatoes, coffee, am consoled for not being rich.
sugar, etc., and took care of them. The men
‘•Who?"
in cooking made up families of two, and
“Why that man with a hump on his
these families were as independent in their
back.
I had rather be poor all nivilitvs
individuality as families iu a village, and the
relationship between the two “partis” was than be deformed mid have tuillious of
very close. Sometimes for weeks the com monev.”
“I can euro him in about five minutes
pany would uot see the company wagon, or
have the use of camp kettle or other cooking —come and see." replied the officer, as
utensils provided by the government. This he walked toward tho unfortunate mid
led to the general a ioption of little quart ket invited him to pass up stairs. There
tles for coffee, canteen halves for skillets, and was a kick, but he had to go, and three
the two partners carried always with them or four minutes’ tune sufficed to remove
their blankets, shelter tents, cooking utensils, his deformity, which consisted of
and provisions. By this arrangement tho twenty-two yards of tiauuel und six
army acquired that capacity for prompt
movement and long continued effort under pair of socks.
“l’urty smart I” growled tho smuggler,
disadvantageous circumstances, that made it
as lie was allowed to go.
so efficient in western campaigns.
“Not so very." was the reply: “a man
These families of two were often queer
partnerships. One of the couple was often a who carries a hump on his buck should
drunkard, while the other was strictly tem carry a stiff neck. You diiln t.”
perate; one a hard swearer, while the other
“Minx a Mong ot Hixpriicc.”
had a horror for profanity; one an intelligent
man with literary tastes, while the other was
Yon all know this rhyme; but have
shallow, with a contempt for books. The
partners were rarely from the same neigh you ever read what it is meant for?
borhood. The relationship was entirely an
The four-and-twenty blackbirds
army one.
represent the twenty-four hours. The
The domestic life was not always pleasant. bottom of the pie is the world, while
Sometimes there would be quarrelsand fights the top crust is the sky that over arches
and temporary divorces. Both meu would it. The opening of the pie is the day
then be “lone widows,” because no other
family would take them in, and there would dawn, when the birds begin to sing,
in time lie a reconciliation. Some partners and surely such a sight is fit for a
never liad any unpleasantness, and were held king.
Tho king, who is represented as
up as models of domestic happiness. Some
times a “lone widow” would coax another sitting in his parlor, counting out his
man’s partner to dissolve a partnership and money, is the sun, while the gold pieces
form another. This roused the indignation that slip through his fingers as he
of the company, and the men looked forward counts them are the golden sunshine.
anxiously to the time when the new partner
The queen, who sits in the dark
ship would bust up. Some men always kitchen, is the moon, and the honey,
pestered their partner. A quiet fellow called with which she regales herself, is tho
“Old Steer” had little “Double’’ fora partner. moonlight.
If the former was on guard, and came in
The industrious maid, who is in the
at midnight to turn in, he would find Double
curled up like a dog in the middle of the bed. garden at work before her king—the
Punches and pulls elicite I only little snarls sun—is risen, is day-dawn, and the
and snaps,
Double imitating a little clothes she hangs out are the clouds,
dog to perfection. Finally the snarls while the bird, who so tragically ends
would
become
forbidding
growls, the song by “nipping off her nose,” is
and at last up would spring Double, grab Old the hum of sunset. So we have the
Steer by the ear, and shake, and suarl and whole day, if not in a nut-shell, iu a pie.
growl until the company, now wide-awake,
laick in a AlorweMlioe.
would roar with laughter at the swearing and
pleadings and scolding on one side, aud dog
like indifference on the other. Double would
“A horseshoe over the door brings
always bring his partner down to a plea, and good luck to the home in (»verything.
then, taking liis teeth from his ear, would Business prospers, people are happier,
laugh and indulge in odd remarks. Old nothing evil or hurtful happens: every
Hi-*se would enter his tent like a whirlwind
when coming off guard, and rouse the whole thing is good ami—”
But just then, as he turned to feel for
company by “Strike a light, strike a light,
there’s a bug in the baby’s ear.” Bones would the hammer, the step-ladder toppled, he
come swearing up the company street about threw out his arms, lost his balance,
some man snoring; swear about his boots, and, as he went over, the loose end of
about his blouse, and, soliloquizing at the top that horseshoe caught him under the
of his voice, order himself by sections into chin held on for a moment, and then
bed. Other men would creep into bed along rasped around under the jaw and caught
side their partners as quietly as a husband iu in the ear, which stretched out under
town slipping in after regular hours.
the strain of Mr. Leatherbury’s hanging
ARMY HOUSEKEEPING.
[Letter in Philadelphia Press.]
A Historical Mtone.
[Chicago Herald.]
The stone upon which Gen. Washing
ton stood when he took the oath of
office as the first president of the United '
States, is now set in the wall of the .
main corridor of Bellevue hospital. New
York, but it is to be incorporated into
the monument now in course of erection
on the steps of the sub-treasury build- |
ing._____________
“Emily R. Miner is my heir,” is the
entire will of a Pennsylvanian.
Several Kind» ot Girin.
[Chicago Tribune.]
A good girl to have—Sal Vation.
A disagreeable girl—Annie Mositv.
A fighting girl—Hittie Maginn.
Not a Christian girl—Hettie Rodoxy.
A sweet girl—Carrie Mel.
A very pleasant girl—Jennie Rosity.
A “summer" girl—Helen Blazes.
A sick girl—Sallie Vate.
A smooth girl—Amelia Ration.
A seedy girl—Cora Ander.
One of the best girls—Ella Gant.
A clear case of Girl—E Lucy Date.
A geometrical girl—Rhoda Dendron.
A musical girl—Sarah Nade.
A profound girl—Met tie Physic?.
A star girl—Meta One.
A clinging girl—Jessie Mine.
A nervous girl—Hester leal.
A muscular girl—Callie Sthenics.
A lively girl—Annie Mation.
An uncertain girl—Eva Nescent.
A sad girl—Ella G.
A serene girl—Mollie Fy.
A great big girl—Ella Phant,
A warlike girl—Millie Tory.
The best girl of all—Your own.
weight until it looked like a gum
blanket, when it let go and dropped
the believer in horseshoes a howling,
writhing wreck in a chaos of potted
carnations and heliotropes.
A FIREMAN'S FORTUNE.
•
The San Francisco (Cal.) Chronicle, in an
article on the Fire Department of San
Francisco, gives the following from Assis
tant Chief Engineer Matthew Brady: “I
have been subject to an aggravating pain
in my chest for over four years. I resorted
to various modes of treatment to obtain
relief. I have had my chest terribly blis
tered. No physician could tell what was
the matter with me. Two weeks ago I
commenced using St. Jacobs Oil. It lias
cured me.”
Dr. Irwin H. Elderidge CT
M<l.. says:
1 w oiihl rv< oi>.. ’ T**1!*
Brown's Iron Bitter in all c»X?Î(‘^
Äprwheuat..,llcor^
“B ough on C oughs ,” iv .
I,r"ggists. Co,...... ,.,lre ¿„X'A
ness, Sore lhroat.
Dujardin'» Life Essence cure, .
and nervous headache.
nei
Brown's Bronchial Troche, f.,r „ J
and colds. “I do not We how it i
for a public man to la- hi„IS(.|f
without this adinurahle aid.”~lu.
Devens, Pocasset, Mass. * nev,K](J
M AHTINi:&(■<>.: Gentlenien-I..
gratified will, tin- action of vouri ffl
senee. I am sutl'ering greatly wia\9
shot wounds and a broken hip-1>
am an epitome of injuries. Win, i"
there is a great deal of nervousiniuir*
notaltogetnercali'ulnteiltomakehon C
py. 1 am also troubled with »1«.,
and loss of appetite, or rather wu’S.
commenced taking the Life Ess™,.. ■ «
which time, when I take it, 1 s|ef?i'“*
tlian for years, have a Is-tter anpeii,
am not troubled with palpiutio,, i
sexual system is entirely restore 3
......
have lost niy nirUkS
inoroseness, and suicidal tendency ¿ffl
feel a return of mental and plmml u!
and Strength that I never anticiD.1u"’(
Yours very truly,
A nton H ardis , J[,[)j
“Bv. hv -P aiba ” Quiek, completed
all annoying kidney and un’lwn 5
eases. ^1.
Dujardin’s Life Essence make» th. J
feel young again.
Ammons Cough Syrup never MJ
cure if used in time and acciirdins
reel ions.
They have a lamb in New York thx
drinks beer and chews tobacco.
w
Young men or middle-aged ones, safe
ing from nervous debility and kindij
weaknesses, should send three stampsfj
Part VII of World’s Dispensary Diiuti»
ries of books. Address W orld ’ s D br
sary M edical A ssociation . Bufl
\. Y.
Rev. W. H. Chapman, Baltimore,]
says: “Owing to the good health of
family resulting from its use, Id
Brown’s Iron Bitters a most vain
tonic.”
Dujardin’s Life Essence conquers o
ous debillity, loss of memory.
A great many people feel themnl
gradually failing. They don't knowji
what is the matter, but thev suffer from
combination of indescribable aches,!
pains, which each month seem to gi
worse. The only sure remedy knowntl
will counteract this feeling and rest
perfect health is Brown’s Iron Bitters,
rapid assimilation it purities the bio
drives out disease, gives health i
strength to every portion reached by,
circulatory system, renews wasted tisa
and restores robust health and strength.
Dujardin’s Life Essence gives brain fo
and vital energy.
It is astonishing the number of intel
gent, people who regard a cold or cough
a trivia) matter, something unnecessary
pay attention to. How many timesli
you heard the expression, “0,nothing!
matter, only a slight cold.” Yes, I
friend, and nine-tenths of the manythi
sand consumptives who walk theearth
day (loomed to a premature death, said’
same thing. We pay attention toao
and promptly, too. Our remedy is J
men’s Cough Syrup; some other prep
tions are good, but we have found it by
the best.
Dujardin’s Life Essence positively er
hysteria,, and all nervous affections.
----------- —------------
HARKNESS FIRE EXTINGVISHU
First premium Mechanic»’In»titut«,l
I). S. Brown & Co., general agents for
cttic Coast, Bit California street, SanF
cisco. The following letter explains it
.1. N. Andrews, dealer in Generali
cbandiHc: Postmaster and Agent W(
Fargo & Co's Express.
E lk G rove , Sacramento C o ..
December S, lski. I
Messrs. I). S. Brown & Co.:
.
G enti . emkn Please send nte ano«
six-gallon Harkness Fire Extinguish«
soon as you can. I had occasion to u*
one I bought of you a short time ago.
Last night the hotel adjotnining
store caught fire in the hallway totbei
ond store from the explosion of a lamp:
the building Is'ing clot hand paper
mediately on tire in several room», w
less than two minutes after getting
extinguisher to work the tire was out-
As soon as this one arrives 1 wins
the otlierone down and have it repleMJ
Also please inform me if I cannot lira
the fluid remaining in the tank an
it for future use. or shall I send tt a. ■
You», etc.. (Signed) J. N. A xd M"
“RotTGB on C orns .” 15 c . Ask 1«
Robert Collier was 60 years old Decem Complete cure, hard or soft corns,
bunions.
ber 22d.
A child that wakes with croup*should
have a dose of Piso’s Cure.
Jay Gould was not invited to Vander
bilt’s ball.
A TOTAL ECLIPSE
Of all other medicines by Dr. R.
Pierces “Golden Medical Discovery” is ap
proaching. I nrivailed in bilious disorders,
impure blood, and consumption, which is
scrofulous disease of the lungs.
—-------- ----------------
Shakespeare disliked dogs, but Lester
\\ allack keeps twenty-nine.
Dr. I). F. Laughlin, Clide. Kan., writes:
“S amaritan N ervine cures fits.”
Dujardin’s Life Essence fc the remedy
for the overworked brain.
fofl
Dujardin’s Life Essence is T he G reat
F rench N erve T onic .
Rheumatism,°Neuralgia.
Physicians declare the N agi . ee B randy
superior to all other brands for medicinal
purposes.
Strength for the weary—Dujardin's Life
Essence.
The Irishmen propose to Poole their is-
sues and avenge O'Donnell.
GET THE ORIGINAL
Dr. Pierce s "Pellets"—the original "Lit
tle I.iver Pills" <sugar-c<Mited>—cure sick
and liilious headache, sour stomach, and
bilious attacks. By druggists.
The lips of the Flatbush girls have a
bulge that is almost Ethiopian.
Lumbago. Backache. Headache.
Sore Th ront.
|<i(e«.
Hum«. Scald«. »•••' "
A5D ALL OTH1R HOIHI.V
8ol4by Druggists and D.e,,er**H 7TnSw<ea.
Direetlons in 11 L
THE CHARLES A. '
t. A VOGKUrtl A CO.)
PURITY SOW
AWSomething Sensible.^»
TOILET. BATH AND
ACENTS WANTED
cbineCTe.
r ’ "',11 knit«
“The student." says Prof. Wilder's “Health
HEEL sn.l TllEo.mvl.te n> ‘
whs»
knit • rre.t variety oi fai.qr *'’rkdJ^i»
•Spl
Notes," •‘should never sleep less than eight
“
When
we
say
that
S
amaritan N er - lean a ready mark
'
„<*•*
hours, and he should not study directly after vink euren rheumatism, we mean
th»* Twombiy Knilllnu W*
it.
”
-
meals. ”
mont street, Boston Ma.-s
r risco Journal.