YAMHILL REPORTER. THE MODERN GINEVRA. ufh . BOB TINKHAM’S LITTLE TADDIE. Why A. V. H.NNYDEH. Proprietor, M c M innville , - - O regon But tho “Spring-Lock Hid in Am­ bush There ‘Didn’t Fasten’ II r Down Forever.” [Detroit Free Press.] FORTY YEARS AGO. Tho fair Imogeue D'Eustis had lw*en Fashion* or Oar Fathers, an I Things I wedded to the knightly Hani Higgins. Tho That Were Familiar, Now Obso- 1 clergyman had been handed ¿2 in cash to pay | for the splicing, the gu »sta wero tilling tliem- let«». I selves up with eatables, and everything was [Prentice Mulford.] sliding along us smoothly as a cider mill sail- Forty years ago the lecturer and j ing down on a spring freshet, when all aS lecture course lnul not mode their ap­ • once the bride was mi-sing. pearance. Tlie village debating society Her uewly found husband looked was of regular winter occurrence, dis­ the table, but she was not there. The guests separated to search. Some cussing “ Which was the greater man, George Washington or Christopher looked down the well—others down cellar— others in the hen-coop and smoke-house and Columbus ?” or “What invention has been most useful to mankind, the art of liehind th ) pig pen. No Imogene. Then some said that she had been abducted, printing or the mariner’s compass?” The land was free for nil to shoot while others scoffed at the idea of a girl weighing 11W pounds and having a scream over. Breech-loaders and ‘ shells'’ or which could be heard two miles, being cur­ “cartridges” were unthought of. Gun­ ried off in broad daylight, mid in a neighbor­ ners cut their own wads, poured the hood where tho Democrats hud over two hun­ charge of powder into the muzzle, then dred majority. a handful of shot, adjusted the percus­ A detective was calk’d in. He looked at sion cap and banged away. But if the her old shawl, measured the length of her fowling-piece was not improved, the shoes, and decided that it was a mysterious game of nil descriptions was far more affair. He would take the case if desired, plentiful. Forty years ago doer wore but would not promise any satisfactory solu­ still native to the pine forests of Long tion under a year and a half. The fair Imogene’s father hadn't betrayed Island, and a yearly hunt for them was organized by the sjiorting eloment of much excitement up to this point. The wed­ ding feast was the first square meal he bad this country. tackled for six months, and ho wanted to fill Tlie trunk of the period was covered up before giving way to emotion. He was ■with sealskill, the bristly hair outward, now full. He turned around upon the ex and studded w ith small brass nails. The cited and distressed guests, commanded them baggage-smasher had barely been de­ to hush their hullaballo, and disappeared up veloped. Valises were long and narrow. stairs. Saddle-bags were not out of date. When tho coy Imogene slipped away from City hotels called the guests to meals tho feast it was to see if her husband would miss and follow her. She slid up stairs, by tho gong or dinner-bell. The land­ lord sat at tlie head of tho table, and mounted to tho garret, and after brushing carved the breakfast steak. The guests the cob webs off her nose she advanced to the dilied together ull at the sarffe hour. big blue chest in the corner. The chest had Dinner was served with great parado been made to hold her father’s government and formality. The waiters removed bonds, and was hooped with iron and pro­ the covers from the chafing dishes at a vided with a spring lock, which never cost less than a dollar. Her mission was to hide given signal, boro them aloft out of tho in the chest and see if her husband would be room, then reappeared and carried oil' soft enough to climb up there and throw up dishes to be carved at side tables. the lid and call peek-a-boo. As the reader The oyster saloon of that time was knows, lie wasn t the man to catch on. furnished with “stalls” and curtained The old man D’Eustis walked up stairs and recesses, affording parties more seclu­ made his way to the garret through the same sion and quiet than those of to-day. It trap-door the bride had used. He thought she hung witl out, a cloth-covered, balloon might bo lip there to take a last farewell look shaped sign, painted red, inside of at the bunches of catnip, moldy school books and broken spinning-wheels. He could not which a candle was stuck nt night. The bar of the period was more dingy see her. He called aloud, but the whistle of than that of the present, but the liquor the tug on the river was the only answer. turned to go, but something whispered to was better. Brandy was not obsolete. He him that perhaps he might find a plug of to­ In the city drinks were three cents “be­ bacco or a bottle of stomach bitters in the old fore tho screen” and six cents behind it. chest. Ho advanced with beating heart and Six-cent drinks were deemed extrava­ threw up the lid. gant and so were three-cent cigars. “Why, pop, is this you!” cried the fair Imo­ Among old and prosperous families gene as she sprang up an 1 ripped her bridal could be found more cut-class decanters dress clear down the back. “Yes, this is me!” growled the old man and port or Madeira either in the closet or on the sideboard than to-day. Hun­ “and what the jimcracks are you doing here?’, “Hiding from Sam.” dreds of the smaller agricultural villages “I’m a tarnal mind to box your ears, big forty years ago maintained one or two “taverns” where now there are none. os you are! Here you've raised a regular Tippling and intemperance among our city convention all over the house, spoilt a dress which cost me .$14 with the making, up­ native population was far more general. set your mother, and scart old Mrs. Spigot The "solid men” of tho town belonged into a fit!-’ to engine companies, and pumped faith­ “Please, pop, I—” fully nt fires. A village fire often “You git! Drap yourself through that terminated in a subdued and respecta­ trap-hole, skip down there and tell tho crowd ble drunk. Exhaustion justified un­ that you don’t know beans when the bag’s usual recourse to stimulants at unac­ untied.” customed hours, and the rest followed. And tho bride got. And her husband was The village engine was always tinder so mad that he burned up a free railroad pass repair after a fire and always broke to Chicago, and her mother cried, aiui hei' down at one. Householders were re­ father went off down town to play poker, quired by law to keep leathern buckets and, taken all in ail, the coy bride anil the to be used at fires. They hung in the old chest and the spring lock business didn't hallway and had the owner's name pay 10 cents on the dollar. printed on them in white letters. lie Agreed That It Would. Isn't Driver Enough. At the Gentlemen's Driving park, where William H- Vanderbilt and other owners of fast horses speed their teams I came across a man who found delight in something that had never struck me. Vanderbilt was urging liis best pair around the course for tho first time since he was overturned in the sport by a collision. The gait was a slashing one, and I asked a spectator, who had timed a mile of it, how swift it was. “ Two thirty-six, glory to God!” was the unexpectedly fervid answer. “But they can do much better than that.” I said. "Yes. and that's wliat makes me grin. They can do bettor, but Bill Vander­ bilt can’t make ’em. He ain't driver enough for it. von know. If he had a thousand millions instead of two hundred, them horses wouldn't go their best clip for him. He lias to hand the ribbons over to Johnny Murphy when he mints to show their spwd. Don't you s’pose he'd plank down a good- sized fortune if it would buy skill enough to speed that team? I’ll bet you on it.” Vanderbilt is not singular iu being unable to drive liis horses fur the best that is iu them. Bonner, Work, Rocke­ feller—all of these, owner» of tlie fast­ est four teams in the world aro com­ pelled to put professional drivers into the buggies when u remarkable per­ formance is desired. This employe is usually the trainer of the boasts, knows their pec.nliaritio.s perfectly, anil is un­ derstood by them to be their complete muster. Not one of tho men I have named can drive his horses within ton seconds as fast us they will go 1. r the trainer. Tlie Nm al I Boy. But do not l>c hard on the small bov. lie is a human and he loves the woods and all that there is it them and when he loves a thing he w ill work for it. Our teachers and parents might make a note <>f this. He loves the pnre air and tho refreshing mudholes. At school with every door and window closed, lie feels stupid and sick. Ho cannot tell how many two times two are without connting his fin­ gers, and .sometimes is not bright enough for that. But place him on a raft in a pond in some lonely dell, or let him chase the chipmunk through the thorn brush; he may neglect to make exact calculations as to dinner time, but he will tell yon < xaetlv how many jumps the chipmunk made and bring home more observations on the phenomena of nature than tho best naturalists can properly note in a week. The moral is that the small boy needs air, anil not so much wind pudding. This is a suggestion made for the pa­ rents, and teachers also. In front of a Detroit butcher shop yester­ day a butcher sat cleaning a revolver. It was a rusty old “Colt” which had not been used for years and was to lx» put in order and trailed off. A shoemaker came along di­ rectly and observed: “Of course there’ll be an accident?” “Y-e-s, I presume so.” “It isn’t loaded, is it?” “Oh, no.” “But it will go off?" “It will.” “I never saw a revolver without wanting to handle it. Let me look at that wt apon« Ah! I'm satisfied now that it doesn’t contain any stray bullets. Do you suppose you could hit my foot at that distance?” “Certainly I could. Now, if she was loaded I’d take a «lead sight like that and pull the trigger and—” The shoemaker jumped two feet and yelled like an Indian, and when he came down ho danced and kicked and galloped around until people thought him crazy. It was only after a crowd had collected and cornered him up in the shop that any one found out the trouble. The butcher had put a bullet along tlie sole of liis foot close enough to draw blood. “I told you she’d go off!” howled the shoe­ maker, as he sat with his lx>ot in his hand. “And didn't I agree with you?” innocently responded the butcher. Paralyzing a Baggageman. "Check my Uaggagi', sirl” exclaimed a not unmusical voice at tlie Central dcj.>t yester­ day moruiug. The tosser of personal pn»|>- erty reached out his horny hand with the bit of brass in the same nonchalant way that ho has done it a thousand times before. But his indifference »was dispelled when ho saw the voucher disappear in the ¡ oeket of a gentle­ man's eoat, which was stretched over the skirt of a full length lady's dress. Lifting his astonished eyes from the frills and rutiles of the ample lowAr garment he saw a well- rounded chest clothed in a lieat-tltting waist­ coat: next a shapely neck encircled with a No. Hl turn-down collar increasi'd his wonder; then a head witli closely-cropped black hair, surmounted by a jaunty llerby hat, tilled him with astonishment. The mystery was soon solved, for in answer to a few kind questions the one robed in mystery declared that she was a girl; that her name was Miss Bryant: that she hailed from Fulton, Oswego county, and was not a doctor nor a disciple of Mary Walker or Miss Bloomer. And she likewise affirmed that she was not a reformer, never know of any one who had adopted her mode of dress, and did not know as anj- one would. Her object was comfort and economy. .She heeded not the suppressed whisper of the ladies or the glance of askance of the gentle­ men, but busied herself in an apparent •esthetic reverie over a little bouquet fus- tened on the lappel of her coat. lleeided nt l»:u*t. A Texas «t inting society debated tho question. ••When a watermelon vino nun on to another man's land, who owns the melons.*' The referee decided that the c ilored man who lived about a .T.1I0 and a Salt from tlie two farms, owned the melons. tlic Ohl Lawyer Nhovetl Bark From the Table and ••Dltlui Like Playin' Her rd*.’’ Feel How flenry Irving Be.M* “Know Irving?” said Frederick Mac- cube the comedian. "Let me tell you when 1 first knew him. It was twenty years ago in Manchester, England, that living, a number of other actors, and myself belonged to a social club called the ‘ 1’it.nis.’ We met every Tuesday evening for intellectual intercourse, ami we all had funny names, 1, for instance, was named Othello on account of my ...pj was called gentle nature, and Irving Apollo because he was not 1.— considered I handsome. Tho Davenport mediums were then u reigning sensation, and myself, and Phillip Day after three months’ study, sue- ceeded in mastering their ropes, trick-, etc., and gave seances in imitation of them, exposing all their methods. We played for charitable purposes, and all that sort of tjiing, ami created quite a sensation. Irving was with us, playing the part of Dr. Ferguson, an individual who did tho talking for the Davenports. 1 wrote a few funny lines for him at the time, and he elaborated the effort into a humorous speech worthy of Mark Twain. Al­ though we never gave one of these seances for money, we consented to ap­ pear at Irving’s benefit before he went to London, and we performed all the operations of untying the ropes, etc., m the light instead of in the dark cabinet, as the Davenports did. The benefit realized £300. Irving went to London, and his career of success has never stopped since.” After the hand was played, and while the horseman and tho justic weie dis­ cussing as to whose deal it was, the old lawyer sat witli elbows oil the table, his chin resting on his hands. He seemed to be thinking of something far, far away. Now and then his heavy gray head nodded slightly and liis parte I lips moved as if he were saying some­ thing aw ay down in liis soul, lie had forgotten the game; his mind was over­ whelmed w itli the past, and tho fond memories that flitted before his eves aided tho glistening drops that stood in them to shut out the vision of the pres­ ent. "There’s your hand.” The words aroused the old lawyer, and he raised iiis head, but his eyes held fast their gaze on the table top. “Boys,” said he, roughly brushing tlie tears from his eyes, and wiping his spec­ tacles, “I s’pose it's awful foolish like fur a big feller like me to sit here a- ervin’, but when I seen them marks there they 'minded me o’ the day Bob Tinkliaiu sot right here where I d<> now an’ kep’ game there on the table. That was uigli twenty years ago, but somehow I can't get it off my mind how Bob sot here a-laughin’ an’ jokin’, an’ havin’ the best kind o’ time, an' all at once, with­ out a bit o’ warnin’, how Jim Dempsey come carryin’ Bob's little bov Tuddie in, an’ said as how the pale little fellow A I’oiut on I’erliiry. had been run over by a hay rack and On one occasion, says Oakey Hall in was dead. Bob was jest makiu’ that his reminiscences, u witness, to all ’ere mark that's only half as long moral conclusions, perjured himself, es the rest when Jim kicked in the door and yet he seemed cool and natural. and put the boy on the floor right tliqro Presently the recorder of the court by that ’ere winder. I’ve seen a good many pretty solemn-like things, but turned in his peculiar, affable wav, and that was the solemuist thing I ever said: "My friend, the room is not hot, tho day is cold, and yet you are in a seen. Little Taddio warn’t dead, but jest as Jim put him on the floor I10 perspiration, are you not?” There opened them pretty littlo blue eyes o' were no signs of this, but the Witness instantly caught up liis handkerchief liis'n an’said: “Oh, papa.” Then to seo Bob Tinkham—great, big, husky and began to mechanically wipe his man as ’e was—git down on ’is knees forehead: “Are you ill; you look so an’ cry liko 'is heart'd break, it was pale?” He responded by turning pale enough to make tho meanest man in the and gulping down some water. Here world boo-hoo right out. An’ then the counsel for the defense showed little Taddio said: “Oh, papa: it’s signs of wishing to interfere, being afraid of his witness breaking down; gittin so dark—oh-oh papa, don’t let little Taddio die. Tell Dod not to let but tho recorder interposed with: little------ ’ and Taddie broko oil’ what "Sorry to have agitated you, but my he was sayin’ jest as his pa had broke duty is like yours” ( the recorder had off maltin'that mark right in the middle, an impressive voice), “ to ascertain an’ he never said another word in the nothing but tho truth and the whole truth.” Then the witness turned and world. "An’ Bob Tinkham, as I10 never said: “Please let me go; lam indeed prayed since he como to Oxford in ’37. ill.” His testimony was withdrawn by put his hands towards tho roof an’ told consent. At tho conclusion of the ease God he didn’t know nothing about the recorder said tome: “I knew he prayin', but he'd give anything he had was committing perjury, for he had a if Taddie'd jest open his eyes once peculiar tremor of the eyelids, which, moro and only say papa jest once. An’ for my nearness to a witness, I can then he prayed like I never heard no­ always see. And this tremor limy gen­ body pray before sence I was born; an' erally be noticed in men and women I said to myself ’tnin't big fine words who aro lying.” that gits up to heaven, but it’s feelin’s An Unknown llero. jest like Bob Tinkham’s. An’, boys, j sure as you live, I’vo been sorrv ev’ry What a small world we live in, after sence thet I couldn’t a laid down I all! And how round it is, too! Here on there an' died an’ let littlo Taddie live. the heights, alone, save for the many Jest think, an old critter like me beautiful babies born to him since he with roomatiz all over me so's I can't sat down under his oaks, built liis house, do nothin' worth anything for anybody and planted his vine and fig tree—many I v?1 rJj' V along forever, but a little vines and many fig trees, in fact—I find boy like 1 addie, jest when he s havin’ ■ a dear old sailor, a fellow world builder all the fun there is in life has to up an’ of the far west. A dozen years ago or die and leave everybody that loves ’im so ho found this spot with the encircled an’ wants ’im to live. I tell ye they kin city below, the Potomac far away; yet say what they're a mind to ’bout there in his very dooryard, witli many ships, bein’ no other world after this ’nil, but the old Itoman arena before him, aye, ef there ain’t then things ain’t built on the very wild beasts devouring Chris­ the foundation of justice, that’s all. tians over yonder at tho eapitol—finding Say, boys, I don’t feel like playin' all this before him, I say, he sat down' keerds no moro to-day.” And the old here, would go no more away, but gave lawyer pushed back from the table and up his commission and has been hero sat a long, long time with his elbows on { ever since, planting grapes, growing his knees, and his face on his hands figs, looking down into the president’s looking at the floor. dooryard. And this silent little man, too modest to let me mention his name, Military Bridge Building. is the very man, the humane and gal­ lant soldier who went out unarmed, all Among the military maneuvers in alone, some fifteen years ago, and Europe this season has been bridge brought in more than a thousand building at Presburg by a battalion of armed Apache Indians, a feat that Austrian pioneers (engineers), assisted startled tho country at the time, I re­ by 298 reservists. At the place chosen member. the Danube is 369 metres broad, with From Paris to Nt. Petersburg. maximum depths of seven metres, and the velocity of the current is more than four miles an hour. Bridges of differ­ The carriage of the fast train which ent kinds, formed both by pontoons or is to run from Paris to St. Petersburg boats and rafts, were thrown across on will be supplied with adjustable wheels, succeeding days. Openings wero made which will enable them to travel on va­ on some occasions for ships to pass, and rious gauges. Front Puris to the Rus­ closed again in the usual way by swing­ sian frontier the same gauge is used, ing a part of the bridge back again to but there it changes, and at the frontier its place. Slight bridges were con­ stations, Eydt Kuhnen and Warballan, structed for light traffic and stronger the wheels will have to bo readjusted. for heavier carriages. Sometimes the Travelers will thus be able to go the bridge was made in the common wav, whole distance without the inconven­ by add ng pontoon to pontoon ; some­ ience of having to change carriages. times rafts wero first constructed, then Tho speed of the train will bo one not swung into their places and fixed there. hitherto attempted on the continent. It ()n one occasion the bridge was partly is to be ninety kilometers, or fifty-six built with the ordinary military means miles (without stopping) an hour. It and partly with material found on the is announced that the trains are on spot. The time occupied varied from "the American pattern,” including an hour and a half to an hour andthree- kitchen, dining saloon, reading and quartes. The opening for ships topass drawing rooms, nud all tho other com­ was made in two minutes and a half fortable arrangements essential to mod­ and closed iu three minutes and a half. ern traveling. Cremation in Portugal. The cremationists have won a decided victory in Portugal. After a long and bitter tight between the advocates of the plan, led by physicians and scientists generally, and the opponents, who were f hie fly priests, the government has decided to make cremation optional with the people generally, and com­ pulsory in all cases of death occurring in districts infected with the plague. The government is said to favor a general compulsory cremation law, but is restrained from making so radical a change out of fear of the church. Taking Wallelna I. csmoiiw . “I would like to know,” said a white man to a colored gentleman, “why von are skulking around my premises?” * “What does yer mean by skulkin’, boss?” “Walking around here in this man­ ner.” “How does yer ‘speck a man ter walk, boss ? Sorry I can’t walk ter suit yer. ’Speck 1’11 liafter go away an’ take a few lessons.’’ “I am not talking about your actual manner of walking. I mean that I want to know what business you have here ?” A Suspicious Surgical Instrument. “Oh, dat’s it? Gladdatyer ain’t got - no fault ter find wid my walk. Reckon “I thought ,” said the senior Baggies, > I’ll let the lessons go den.” ns he produced a suspicious-looking | l.afayette'M Tomb. black bottle from his son’s valise, “that there was nothing but your surgical in- i strnments in this bag.” “That's what I i Gen. Lafayette's remains lie neg­ said, dad." “Then. sir. what do you lected and almost forgotten in the old call this?” “That? Oh. that's my eye-' Piepus cemetry, on the outskirts of ojvener, dad; very useful instrument: Paris. Very few tourists ever ask to lie very useful; indispensable, I assure i shown there, and when they do make tho re pleat reins - to go on being told you.” that they would bo compelled to drive Under the sceptre of the czar of through narrow, crooked streets,entirely Russia live thirty-eight different nation­ deserted save for the few solemn anil alities, each speaking its own language,' gloomy-lookiug convents which line the way. which is foreign to all others. Life' I know not what thoa art, But know that thou mid 1 must |«irt; And when, or bo«, or where wen»« t, I own to me'» a t y1.4' . But this 1 know, when 11 '''' , Wh. re'er they lay th'«" ""'«• thls 1 ’ No clod so vulueliss shall I»', As all that then nmain sot in.' <», whither, wluther an when friends are dear— Pennsylvunia #1,1.50 fi, Perluqis twill cost a sigh, a tear; Then steal away, give little warning, Mrs. Orlemi Marshall, ~o("(. I Choos.'thine own time; says: Nnmaritun Nervine cnref ’ l brighter Bay not good night—but in some epilepsy. cu™ n| dime Bid me good morning. Dujardin's Life Essence SHIPPING DRESSED MEATS. feel young again. , _____ * Dr. M. T Gamble, Fannlngto. m J I prescribe Brown s Iron Bita,' 1 practice and they give «iti8fact^.1'i THE REFRIGERATOR WHICH IS IN USE— THE WORLD’S MARKET. We learn from a foreign journal that the first consignment of dead meat to England from this country was made al »out October, 1375. Since that time the trade 1ms steadily increased until now it reaches an aggregate value of more than $10,000,000 annually. At first the meat was preserved during the Atlantic voyage by a draught of cold air blown over blocks of ice. Ibis sys­ tem, however, made the meat moist, and it has been superceded by refrigerators, in which a draught of cold air keeps the meat at a temperature as littlo as possible below freezing point. The Bell-Coleman refrigerator, which is in common use for this purpose, is based upon the principle of compressed air being thoroughly cooled and then allowed to expand. In the act of ex­ pansion it becomes cold enough to freeze water. To accomplish this the air is taken by air pumps from the meat chamber and then compressed, after which it is cooled by jets of water and passed through a system of tubes. Af­ ter passing through the expanding ap­ paratus the air is discharged at the rate of 40,00"Tlioimann |th a VAl.r ABLB au.y nuifwer. Give Bx¡ n*** a bt pLr.flU PM. 1. A. ¿LUCI X 14 ?•***“