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About Yamhill reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1883-1886 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 6, 1883)
SHE (.AMBLED. a J f. k k * ¡I er * i » h ■ r i i I AMONG THE AGED. PI LLING TEETH. T.......... — STORIES OF FORTUNE. THE CHINESE The cardinal archbishop of New York is 83. “When Greek meets Greek, then “Talk about tumbles in the price of Woman’» Flask anil Man'» Cowardice In comes the tug of war,” the old saying Bow the Population I. Estimated—Cu> oil,” said a veteran operator on the Ex-President Woolsey of Yale College a Dentist's Chair. rious and Startling Statistici«. is. The like happens when two equally has reached the age of 82 years. Brandford Petroleum Exchange; noth wilful people dispute over a difference Within a day or two, says a Paris let- ing like the one of the winter of 1860 Sir Henry Taylor, author of “Philip “No," said the dentist, “I never tell in opinion, ora transaction in business; ter, society has been considerably inter- von Artevelde,” is now 83 years old. The Chinese government lias a census has been known in the modern days of women anything but the truth. If I tell but in the latter ease the friction is ttgcd over the reappearance of the system ; not by any means so exact as the trade. That was the winter that l’rof. Laurens P. Hickock, formerly Jesse Heydrick put down the old a man an operation may be painful lie usually some haggling about a price princess Souwaroff. This handsome of Union College, is now living in Am ours, nor is it taken like ours, at certain Fanners and Mechanics' well, or rather is apt to find some excuse for which the buyer refuses to pay. In herst at the green old age of 85 years. curious contrast with this, the following fixed periods. The direct object of their the company that he formed put it ! Russian lady was during many seasons Count von Moltke is the oldest com delaying it, or even dodging it anecdote is told of Haydn, (the famous census is more military than civil. i down, and that was the first company tlie reigning stai at Nice and Monaco, mander-in-chief. He was born in 1800 altogether. But a woman would de comopser of thee“Creation”) and a bluff Each family is called upon to report, by ever formed to develop the oil territory. aid was not the less remarkable on ac and can make love in 14 languages. The well came in good for about 3,000 liberately walk to the chair if she English sailor. count of her frequent attempts to break While the great composer was stay tablets provided for the pur)x>se, the barrels a day, and half of it couldn’t be Father John Carroll of Chicago is the thought her head were to be yanked off. ing in London, the captain of au East number of its male members of the age taken care of, hut ran down the creek the bank. She has not been seen at oldest Catholic priest in America. He Give me a woman for cool pluck every Iudiaman entered his chamber one for military service, that is, from six in a regular flood. Oil was oil then, and sither of those places or in Paris since comes of the famous Carrolls of Mary time.” morning, saying: land . teen to sixty. From the number of was worth $13 a barrel. Pittsburg was 1878. She lived so fast here and “You are Mr. Haydn?” “But children?” Stephen Baker, long the postmaster this class so reported the whole number the only market, and we had only one gambled so hea'-y at Monte Carlo that “Yes.” way to get oil there, and that was by “It is both wrong and foolish to de- of Beverly, Mass., under appointment “Can you make me a march to en of the population may l>e quite nearly running it in barges down the Alleghany tke late Czar forbade her to leave the of President Jackson, died recently at ceive a child about such tilings, If he liven my crew? You shall have thirty approximated by assuming a given river from Oil City. Of course it was Umpire until she repaired her fortunes. the age of 92. is told he IO is law not to hurt, mill and :hen is — w.-t. »»v IU lie MV null, guineas; but I must have it to-day, for reasonable proportion of this class to necessary to have freshets to transport Whether she has done so or not is more Mrs. Stillwagon of Flushing, L, I., hurt, he will never take your word again, to-morrow I sail for Calcutta.” whole, usually one-filth. And being it in this way. The winter that Iley- and will hate you, and resort to almost any than one can tell, but she is certainly has celebrated her 98th birthday. She Haydn agreed; the seaman left him, the thus enrolled as liable to military duty, drick struck his well the river was means to keep away from a dental office and the composer opened his piano and it is not likely that the various families frozen over, but he was Ismnd to get back in Paris, where she has already made the cake and pastry for the occa afterward. I always tell a child the opera in n quarter of an hour the march was oil to Pittsburg. He succeeded rented a magnificent house, in which sion with her own fair young fingers. tion will hurt a little, but that I will be written. Haydn appears to have had would exceed the actual number in some The oldest English art critic is the their enrollments. By their census of in cutting a way through, and ran ten she is going to have some fun before the careful. 1 can usually play on a child ’ s a delicacy rare among the musical birds venerable Samuel Carter Hall of Lon tlatboats down. He sold ail his oil at winter is over. The Princess, whose don, who has lately published an enter pride, and make him very brave. If of prey and passage who came to feed 1842, calculated on this basis, their $13 a barie). The next day a thaw set maiden name was liasilewska, wasenor- taining volume of the reminiscences of he is handled properly he will train his i on the unwieldly wealth of England. isipulation amounted to 414,1189,1)94. in, and in two days the river broke up. pluck for the most painful ojieration, Conceiving so large a sum for labor, A later census, taken in 1856, made Then the boats began to run, and in a mously wealthy when she married the his 83 years. and usually when he is dismissed from eventually so slight, a species of plun their population, in round numbers, short time the market was overstocked, Prince Souwaroff, whose fortune was Col. James Blackburn, a farmer of die chair he is surprised that the pain 450,000,000, an increase of ulsiut 35,- very moderate. After a few years of Edgar county, Ill., has passed off at the has been no more severe. You know der, he came home early in the evening 000,000, a little over eight per cent in and in less than a week oil was selling matrimony they agreed to disrgree, and age , at 90 cents a barrel. and made two other marches, in order of 90. He was the owner of 2,300 an amicable separation took place. The , acres of land and commanded a regi the extent of pain, or, indeed, of every to allow the liberal seaman his choice, fourteen years, which is less than one- The early days of oil production were fifth of our mtio of increase. Those thing, is apt to be measured by compari Prince devoted himself to traveling and ment in the Black Hawk war. or to give them all to him. attended by many curious incidents. European doubters have no data to son with one's expectation of what is to the Princess went to Monaco in search At daybreak the purchaser came. One of the queerest was a streak of luck contradict all this. Mrs. Sallie Stockwell of West Brattle be done.” of excitement. She played with large “Where is my march?” a well owner struck on the creek in 1863. Moreover, it is well-known that “You have to deceive men, do you?” stakes, and her boldness, her coolness, boro, Vt., lias just died at the age of “Here.” China is a densely populated country. He had drilled a well down to the third “Yes, generally. They are consum and her alternate heavy losses and win 104 years. She was born in Chesterfield, “Try it on the piano.” They have cities of millions and many sand, and found nothing but water, N. H. One of her sisters lived to lie mate cowards. Yesterday I made one nings were the sensation at Monte Carlo. Haydn played it. The captain towns of hundreds of thousands. The and three days’ continuous pumping of mv friends pull his own tooth. ” 100 and a brother died at the age of 90. Every evening, when the gambling-room counted the thirty guineas on the piano, land is filled with them, and even its failed to bring anything else to the “How?” Bishop Charles Wordsworth of St. closed, she entertained a large party of took up the march and went down waters are swarming with a boat popula surface, so he abandoned the well in “ He wished me to look at his teeth stairs. Haydn ran after him. guests at supper in her villa on the Andrew’s, England, now in bis 80th tion. The city of Canton has 80,000 disgust. The next day a neighbor of and tell him what they required, and Promenade des Anglais. Some rather year, was captain of the Oxford boat “I have made two others, both bet registered boats, upon which whole his, who was o|>erating on an adjoining was very careful to instruct me to do ter. Come up and hear them, and take families live as their home. Being thus lease, came over to see the disgusted racy anecdotes are related about her, crew in 1829 and taught the young ideas and her many decidedly eccentric asso of Gladstone and Cardinal Manning how nothing more than to look at them. I your choice.” populated we have only to con. well-owner, and informed him, with found one that could not be saved, and “I am satisfied with the one I have.” densely ciates gave her a somewhat scandalous to shoot. aider wliat is the area over which this much excitement, that since the pump should be extracted at once. I knew reputation. ing of water had censed at his well great A few days ago a man walking if I told Ifni he would not let me take it The captain still went down. extends. Including its trib. “I will make you a present of them.” population trouble had resulted at tho other well, One of flies ■ tales is that after one of through Forest Hill cemetery at Napo utnry provinces, China has ti e largest The captain went down only the more which hud yielded thirty barrels of oil her suppers the Princess, hiking off her leon, Or, found the lifeless body of Mrs. out, so I slipped some forceps in my pocket when he was not looking, and rapidly, and left Haydn on the stairs. area of contiguous territory of any nation a day as long as the water was lining slipper, threw it across the room, Frances Gorman, aged 75 years, beside went on fumbling about his face, occa on the globe, except Russia, being whereupon an actress of the Palais her husband’s grave. The old lady was , sionally putting a finger into his eye, Haydn, from one of those motives not 5,250,000 square miles. True, some of pumped, but upon the stopping of the Royal Theatre, who was among the friendless and alone in the world, her until he concluded it was safer to keep easily defined, determined on over this includes more sparsely populated water pumping had tilled up with water and produced no more oil coming this singular self-denial. He districts, as in the Tartar provinces. guests, picked it up, filled it with cham husband having died some time ago. his peepers closed. By quick and pre “The result was that the man who pagne wine, and emptied it at a draught The oldest Episcopal bishop in the cise work I laid hold on the tooth with immediately went to the Exchange, as Now, the larger numlier, that dis to the health of the hostess. This so United States is the Rt. Rev. Benjamin the forceps before he knew what was up, certained the name of the ship, made a credited by Europeans, viz: four bun. owned the producing well hired the less pleased the Princess that she exclaimed, Bosworth Smith, Bishop of Kentucky, but as soon as he felt the pain he roll of his inarches, and sent them with dred and fifty millions of population in fortunate operator to keep his pump go as she embraced the actress: “To now residing in New York city in his grabbed my hand and pushed it away a polite billet to the captain on board ! this territory, would be not quite eighty, ing, for which he paid him $40 a week. morrow, my dear, you shall have a villa 90th year. He was consecrated to his so frantically as to throw forceps, tooth, He was surprised at receiving, shortly six persons to the square mile ; and the The producing well waa thus restored to of your own, next door to mine.” This bishopric 50 years ago last October in und all through the window’ in front of after, his envelope, unopened, from the lesser number, two hundred and fifty its former condition and things worked Englishman, who had judged it to be satisfactorily for six months, when sud,- promise was kept, and the actress has St. Paul’s chapel, New York, along him.” Haydn’s. The composer tore the whole million, would be but about forty-eight denly one day the well that had been now the slipper under a glass case. A with Bishop Mcllvaine. persons to the square mile. Compare to piece on the s;iot. yielding nothing but water began pump very stylish young man, who got cleaned ASTJRY ABOUT WHISTLER- this with the density of population in ing oil, and the one that had yielded oil James Tygelof, a Russian peasant Many men would take more pains to out at trente-et-quarante at Monaco, near Odessa, reached hie 147th year. I spent a few minutes among those give less than they were paid for than Germany, two hundred to the square in turn became a water well. The amused himself one evening by mark His son is still alive at the age of 115; etchings, and while there a friend told mile, or in France, one hundred and changed situation resulted in a lawsuit, ing game for the rich Russian lady, he has a grandson of 85 and great- me a good story which illustrates capi Haydn did to give more.” eighty to the square mile, and even the which was won by the owner of the well — — ----- ---------------- who, being pleased with his appearance, grandson of 40 years. He neverdrank. tally Whistler’s eccentricity. “A friend larger number of the Chinese population that hud at first yielded nothing but THE LIBERTY OF THE PRESS. accepted his services, although he was If he had never married he might have of mine,” said my imformant, “was does not reach one-half the density of water.” a stranger. That day she was a heavy spoiled the record of Methusaleh. “We haven't any further need of the European countries. And China is wandering through a street in London -------- -—— winner, and when she left the table one rainy, foggy night, about 11 o’clock, your services,* said the managing ed quite as fertile and vastly older than In Middlebury, Conn., there is a fam PLEASE YOURSELF FIRST, offered this gentleman a thousand-franc in doubt as to whether he should go to itor of a city daily to a reporter who had they. Had China the same population note in so delicate a manner that a re ily of five persons whose average age is the club for a rubber at whist, or to go been at work only a week. to the square mile that Germany Ims, A certain married pair were discussing fusal was impossible. The next day the 75 years. They are: Calvin Camp of home. ‘What! is that you? Why, “That’s rather sudden, isn’t it?” re her number would exceed one thousand the propriety of giving a wedding pre Middlebury, aged 83 ; Robert Camp of same transaction was repeated, and how are you, my dear fellow?’ He plied the startled reporter. “Haven’t million. But less than one-half of that sent the other evening, and, as might again and again during the whole week. Middlebury, aged 72: Mrs. David Stone turned and there was Whistler, just as I done all I had to do?” gives China the four hundred and fifty happen in the best regulated families, of Woodbury, aged 80; Mrs. Julia Then luck turned against the Princess, “You have done tlie work, but not million that Europe discredits, even failed to agree as to the object and wet as he. ‘This is good luck,’ said the Strong of Bethlehem, aged 70, and Mrs. and tlie strange gentleman placed his while admitting that China is densely price. The lady desired to send a cut artist; ‘come home with me and have properly sir.” purse at her disposal, who accepted his Clarissa Northrop of Bethlehem, aged some beer and a cracker.’ ” So off they “What’s wrong?” populated. Certainly, the population glass pitcher; the gentleman scoffed at 70 — the two last being twins. offer, and was soon able to pay off the “Well, you wrote up Mrs. I’arvenue’s of China is not ascertained with the the idea, declaring that nothing but went to Whistler’s house, in the sub The oldest peer in the British realm, urbs somewhere, through the rain and ball, and there was not a word about it exactness of ours; but there is no silver would satisfy his taste. After a loan with interest. This gave rise to a sort of partnership, and at the end of the Earl of Monntcash el, an Irish rep darkness. Once there the house was as being a brilliant affair.” ground whatever for this European de very animated session, which finally the season her cavaliere servante left resentative peer, completed the other black as the night. Whistler rang the “That’s just wliat it wasn’t.” nial of so great a population. On the terminated in the usual way—tears and day his 91st year, having been bom in Monaco with a clear profit of $10,000. “The lady, sir, takes several copies of contrary, all the data go to confirm the cigars—Madame said she should buy bell, but there was no reply. He rang Stephen's Green, Dublin, in 1702. lie ♦----------- again and still harder, but apparently this paper, and her husband has his fact of that great number ns embraced her own present anil Monsieur might succeeded to the earldom on the death he might as well have tried to wake the printing done in our office, and ordinary within that ancient’ and populous em suit himself. The next morning, how TOPNOODY, of his father in 1823, and was elected a dead. There wasn't a sign of life in common sense should teach you to un pire. ever, repentance seized Isith purties, representative peer in 1826, so that he Mr. Topnoody went to church alone lias been a memlier of the House of the house. Well, for nearly half an derstand your duties under the circum ADVERSE TO A MISCELLANEOUS CROWD. though still sulking with each other. The gentleman, hoping to “make up” lust Sunday, and when he came back he Lords for 57 years. He is known as the hour those two men stood at the door stances.” “But— ” and tried in vain to get into the house, Tt was in Chicago, of course, though with hie better half, selected on his found his wile absorbed in a book. “Father of the House. “ No excuse is necessary, sir. Then Whistler, 1 am afraid, swearing at the for that matter it might have been in way down town a gorgeous cut-glass “What ar you reading, my dear?” Paul Brittain, who died in Lane stupidity of his servants, while the vis you brought in an article on the arrest any city of Connecticut or Massachu jug, w riting his wife's licet wishes on a he inquired. county, Oregon, recently, aged 82 years, ion of a quiet chat over the beer and of young Mr. Fresh for drunkenness. setts. card and dispatching it to the expectant ” “The Bible. ‘ His father is one of our patrons, and we was a pioneer in several States. He “Will you go to the ball, this eve?" bride. An hour later out sallied his “Oh! I presume you find it enter. was born in North Carolina. From his crackers gradually began to fade from have sufficient independence te disre wife, only intent on buying what should he inquired. taining. Suppose you let me read it to native State he emigrated to Tennessee my friend’s mind. Finally, however, the door opened a gard the wishes of the curious public to “Not this eve,” she replied, certain please her spouse, and thus heap coals you.” get an item of news when our patrons ly in not the most gracious manner of fire on hie recalcitrant head. The “Thanks, but when I take my food. I when that State was a wilderness. few indie* and the two men were soon are interested in its suppression.” possible; and then she added, “S'mother result was a costly gold-Uned silver like to have it served on clean dishes.” Then he went to Illinois when it was a conducted in a very mysterious manner “I understand—” salad-lsiwl, accompanied by the beet eve, possibly.” “That’s why I wanted to read te you, territory inhabited principally by Indi through the hall and a few rooms, not a “No, you don’t, for you wrote Mr. ans and Iowa was considered the “Far “But Mrs. Stockyards Porcine cer- wishes, etc., written on the geutleman’s love. But you shouldn't he so sar- West,” when he moved his little family ray of light meanwhile lieing visible. Jone’s obituary without saving he was visiting paste-lsianl, which was duly Here Whistler left his guest for a few tainly sent you an invitation!” oastie.” into it and settled on tlie broad prairie moments, and in his absence, lo! the a distinguished citizen of large influ “Oh, yes, of course; but I felt forwarded to the same address as that “I’m not sarcastic, Topnoody, I’m east of the Keosauqua. ence, and a man of great goodness of whole house suddenly blazed with obliged to present my compliments and of the cut-glass jug. At night nothing only truthful.” • was said of this joint maneuvre, each lights. The doors between the apart heart.” regrets.” “Of course you are, my dear; it hihh “I thought he was another kind of—” ments were simultaneously thrown open, FEMALE FANCIES. “Well, if you ain’t a funny woman. one wishing to surprise the other by in tlie family.” “You needn’t think. The independ showing the 'note of acknowledgement and a gorgeous scene prevented itself. “It all runs over my way, too, Top Knot to be untied without accord— In the elegant dining-hall was a table ent spirit of the press is not to be gov The soiree will be one of the most when it should arrive. It came in due fashionable ami select given on the west noody.” The matrimonial noose. course of time, but it came not alone! loaded with all the delicacies of the sea erned by reportonal thought, sir. Did side, this season.” “Let's not lie p“rsonal, my dear. At Newport—“Do you not associate son, and set off with the rarest of old you think when you wrote of Miss An- “I suppose so, but still I do not want Tlie |sistman brought two notes, which What do you think of the Bible?” with the Browns?” “Certainly not. china, and glass in exquisite shapes and geline Shoddy’s departure to the seaside to go.” so bewildered and mystified the re “It is a good book for precept, and They are relatives of my husband.” ceivers that they indulged in another designs. Wines were there in abun without refering to her as the charming “Private reason, eh?” should be in the hands of all well regu and accomplished daughter of one of our Mrs. Langtry is accompanied by her dance; and in their proper places were “Well, if you must know, all of my debate thatended even more disastrously lated families. I guide my actions by mother. If the mother is anything like the butlers and servants, ready to do most select families?” divorced husbands have lieen invited, than the first. The lady declare that it.” “Who said she was tlie—” and I don’t wish to mix promiscuously she will never again make concessions, “Ahem, mv dear, I should imagine the daughter the Philadelphia Call their bidding at this sumptuous repast. “Do you have to hear what other peo or wedding presents for that matter; you had struck the apocrypha at times thinks it wouldn’t be a bad idea if the “This was Whistler’s‘lunch’of crackers ple say in order to know your business? in such a miscellaneous crowd.” and the gentleman takes refuge in say grandmother should join the party as and cheese. ‘The whole affair,’ said from your style of action.” “Wvss than that .”—The other day ing, “It was just like a woman!” my friend, ‘was one of Whistler’s Who told you that Mr. Bottle, the Coun “Well, Topnoody, the good book says well. cilman, was a rough? Don’t you know Young lady (who is writing a note for strange conceits—his apparently acci his influence is worth money to this a lone man sat in the railroad depot Moral: don’t try to please anylssly but we must fight the devil with fire, and if at Elmira, having a lean grip-sack at yourself! dental meeting with me (when he had the housemaid) — “ Is there anything you will persist in doing as you do some -»•«----------- paper?” his elbow and his battered hat drawn probably been hunting for me for hours), more you wish me to say, Mary? ” times, I must fall back on the divine in CHINESE WAY Or PREPARING PINE ••I wasn't aware that—” down over his eyes. his selection of midnight for such an “ No, inarm, except just say: ‘ Please junction and be a little less gentle than APPLE. “Of course you were not aware of any “Come from York?” queried an old escapade, his inability to get into his my own nature to keep even with you." excuse bad writin’ and spellin'.” thing! If you wenq y Hl might lie use chap in a gray w<s>l suit, as he sat down house (all arranged tieforehand), and his Tite Chinese methisl is undoubtedly “Whit does the Bible say about I believe,” said a petulant wife to ful to us. No sir, you are not the kind heavy on the bench beside him. tlie correct one fer preparing the pine- her husband, “that everything I say to surprise for me when I entered. No of a man we need. We want a man not women, my dear?” “ Yee.” apple for food, The stalk is gnuqied in “It says that when the Creator had you goes into one ear and right out of man hut Whistler would think of such to know what he knows, and know “They say the stock market down „ table __ made her, He found that she was a good the other.” “Yes, dear,” he replied a thing, and no one else would carry it what he does not know. Tho liberty of thar’ has bin rayther perturbed of late?” the left band, and an ordinary out in such perfection as he. There was or large Jiocket knife is held in the pleasantly, “ It doesn ’ t take a great thing to have in the family.” enough for twenty men on the table, the press is not to bo trifled with continued the old man. other. The top ia at once dismissed “Yes, my dear, but that was the first while to get anything you can say and there we two sat till early morning, by irresponsible reporters who think, » at tlie part where the fruit liecoinee “Yes.” one turned out, and you know further through my head.” nor is its freedom to lie restricted by “Happen to perturb you any?” eating and talking of a thousand things.” thick anti fairly free front thorns. Now, over in the book, mention is made of voung men who let the actual facts in “Whar yer gwine wid dat man?” “Perturb! Perturb!” growled the the eyes that ao injure one's tongue, do that unruly member, the tongue, and asked a negro of his daughter. “He terfere with the requirements of the oc Yorker—“why, you old ass, I wan not on thia fruit lie straight, ao that if “I we you are growing a mustache, also that the housetop in solitude is a ain’t fitten ter ’comp’ny yer.” “Gwine casion. You can get your pay, sir, by cleaned out of $40,000 inside of three you commence at once in the top row better place for a man tlian a Queen ter de show,” tlie girl replied. “Dat’s George,” said she as she caressed the calling at the office.” days, and am now hunting for a railroad and trace a line of eyea downward it ia Anne parior with a brawling woman,” all right. Thought yea was gwine ter lappel of his coat. “Ye-es,” stam. job in the West! Isn't that perturbed?” just like descending a winding atair and he looked at his wife significantly. church. A ’ornan ken go wid mos' any mered George, blushing furiously, “I— A R ki . iabi . s A mkcdotr .—“I really “Well,” answered the old man, as he after the fashion of a snail's shell. Tlie I am trying to cultivate one, Arabella, ” “Don’t look at me that way, Top man ter a show, but she’» got ter lie can't understand why you don’t pay me scratched his head from north to south, Chinese very neatly scoop 'Hit a topmost “ Don ’ tit feel funny on your lips? ” she noody. You know it says that a good mighty pertic’lar who goes ter church asked. “Well, no,” he laughed, re my little bill. You have never given “I should say that it was wusa—con one, and then following the line, cut a wife is heaven’s best gift to man.” wid her.” siderably wuss, and I’in blowed if I wedge-shaped channel which is quite gaining hia composure; “it seems to lie me a single cent.” “Yea, my dear, I know it aavH a “If time wasn't money, I'd explain to don’t travel with you! I’ve just lost $340 free from the sign of a thorn. Tian quite natural.” “I wonder how a mus I could leave this world to-morrow good wife, but—” you.” at bunco, and we kin squeeze hands and they begin another succession of eyes, ‘Topnoody,” she interrupted with a without a pang; the future has no ter tache would feel on my lips,” she said, “Now you are giving me impudence." sympathize!”—[Wall Street News. ami so on, till the task is soon finished. with a far-away, absent look in her rors for me, ” said Mulberry in one of glitter in her eye and a riot in her "Well, you were complaining just The fruit, by the intercrossing of tlw eyes. “You needn’t wonder long, his melancholy moments. “ Very like voice. The modest editor of the Cincinnati various channels, now presents a dia ” said George, as he bent down. now that I hadn't given you anything. And Topnoody ceased firing.—[Mer ly,” said Brown, who is a brute; then, “seems to me that an everlasting season “Oh, you forward thing!" she ex. You are always grumbling about noth Merchant-Traveler says: “Editorials mond-cut surface, which, however, is chant-Traveler. in newspa|HT offices are usually the first not needed to render its appearance in of fire and brimstone would he a picnic claimed ; “ I’ve a good mind to make ing.” ------------ »•«------------ “You promised to pay me three to go when there is a rush of valuable viting.—[The London Field. to a man who had lived twenty years you take that back again." And he There are fellows who can’t remember months ago, and I relied on you.” matter, and we experienced that kind of did.— Nomrrville Journal- anything. Here’s an advertisement with your wife.” “That's so.” a rush thia week, hence the absence of It i» aaid to lie almowt impossible to “Yea," said Mrs. Brownsmith, “I from the Dinpaich- “Lost. If the “ And you lied. ” For the dead man it is letter for peo our own work to give place to that of commit suicide by ilrowning in l*biia- party who got ray pocketbook at the want a go-s’, girl, and possibly you ple to wonder why no monument has “Precisely so. I lied on yon and others." delphia, lieeause “Keddy" Shannon ia fire last night will please forward my might do; but liave you had any expe been erected for him than it is for them you relied on me, so we are even. sur«- to l>e arotiud lu the rem ue. Ile ia rience? ” “ Ixparience, is it? ” replied letters of introduction to my wife, I When a handsome young wife went a bard-working stevedore, to whom ia to express surprise that a monument Good-bye." the damsel, resting her hanils on her shall esteem it a kindness.” A man to a hardware shop to get one of those crédité»! an astonisbing nutnber of rea- should be put up. ---------- »>»■ ------- There in a Ismd of xymyathy between wooden contrivances to smash potatoes, iues frotn drowning—no les» titan 165 who has tieen away from home so long hips and tossing her head in the air; “ ixparience, is it? Faith and haven ’ t When Ismail Pasha look« at his bills Henry Irving and Sullivan, the prize’ ami said, “I want a masher,” every men an<l boys owing tlteir livaa to him. that he has to get a friend to write him letters of introduction to his wife, has oi tieen in no less than twinty famil’e» for fall lamnets that's the time, of fighter, for they have both made “hila" man in the shop, from the Im»» to tlie Shannon Iwgan when he waa ton yeaaa course, he finds his harem scare '¡m. in Sew York. no business to be fooling around a fire. during the last month* ’ I office boy, started to attend lier. old, and ha» been at it ever since. A RESOLUTE BARGAIN. a Fa-t Prince-" The Exploit, of a Fair Huuiaa of Noble ltlrth. I 1 F!