Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About Yamhill reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1883-1886 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 4, 1883)
VANITY FUNKY FANCIES. FROM UTAH my name ain’t Sarah Stafford. I’ll feed the pigs.’ He was so darn mean THE BAD BOY. warrant, there wasn’t two inches of that I could not help throwing a , unrefined. The Odd and Con- hull hide left on either of the backs burdock burr against the side of ths The Experience of a Maine Couple, Old \r.í<>,i» Vphol.teriiiK that Make, a of the three last ones. M hen I got The Boy Works on a Farm for a Beacon i cow he was milking, and it struck Enough to Know Better, Among the rtala Woman Happy. back to the house I found Timothy —He Knows when lie has got Enough 1 her right in the flank on the other Mormons. in a terrible rage. He said I didn’t I —The Deacon Makes Him Flax Around. side from where the deacon was. have his pleasure or comfort at heari, ¡ Well, you’d a dide to see the cow , the large parlors of the Grand A white covered wagon drawn by and that I didn't love him like I used ' “Want to buy any cabbages?” said jump ami blat All four of her feet jon Hotel, Saratoga, there is on two small but hardy looking horses to in Maine. He even told me that | the bad boy to the grocery man, as were off the ground at a time, and I libition every evening a most re and covered with a thLk coat of yel 1 was get tin’ too old for him. and that j he stopped at the door of the grocery guess most of them hit the deacon on rkable old lady. The old lady’s he ought to have a young wife. M’ell, his Sunday vest, and the rest hit the low dust moved slcwly through sir, when he told me that I used the dressed in a blue watnus, his breaches milk pail, and the cow backed is Crouse. She is from Syracuse, Superior street, Cleveland, headed rake on him.” Mrs. Stafford was in tucked in his boots, and an old hat against the fence and bellered, and Y Her husband was, in early east Seated in the wagon were a terrupted at this point by Timothy, on his head, with a h_>le that let out the deacon was all covered with milk , a grocer in a very small way. He Since a tax has been put on rock woman anti a man. The former held who knocked the ashes from his pipe his hair through the top. He had and cow hair, and he got up and and rye. it is now sold under its r'keii hard aI*T became rich. The throwed the three legged stool at ths within her ample grasp the reins that an<l went out and climbed into the Iter part of his life he has devoted maiden name of “whisky and gum.” guided the chunky motive power of wagon. She looked after him a got out of a democrat wagon, and cow and liit her on the horn and it his money, so that it now amounts • Boston girls never giggle. They the caravan. Time with his ruthless minute and said: “He don’t like to was holding the lines hitched to a glanced off and hit me on the pants merely express their delight by a hear what a fool he was when omong just as I went over the fence to feed several millions. The husband dreamy, far away, North Pole smile. touch had plowed deep furrows in the Mormons. Now I could have horse about forty years old, that the pigs I didn't know a deacon leaned against the hitching post to d wife were uneducated, and used could talk so sassy at a cow, and The chap who claim, to have dis her cheeks and brow, while wind and married the long necked deacon I rest. ‘ Only a shilling apiece. ” spoke of a short time ago, but Timo manual labor at the outset of their covered Noah’s ark will now scratch come so near swearing without act- weather bad toughened and colored “O, go’way,” said the grocery man. ually saying ones words. Well, I % and so when their money came around for the core or the apple her spacious contenanee. She sat thy had been my mainstay and guide for thirty year, and I was satisfied. "I only pay threecents apiece." Andi swill until I was homesick to iv enjoyed its possession as few do which Eve ate. with her head erect looking neither It made me terrible hot, though, to then he looked at the boy and said, I my stomach, and then I had to clean “ Yer doan ’ often timl cruelty 0 love money. For forty years off horses, and go to the neighbors among fowls,” says Uncle Mose. “De to the right nor left. Her eyes were hear him talk about a young wife, as iv have been rich, without losing hen is always kind ter de step small and glowing. She was dressed if I wasn’t good enough for him. “Hello, Hennery, is that you? I have about a mile away to borrow a lot of That night 1 took him by the hand missed you all the week, and now rakes to use the next day. I was so one day the keen zest of the pos- chicken.” in faded calico, but was as neat as a and left the country. Since then you come on to me sudden, disguised tired I almost cried, and then I had jion and power of much money. ,et us look at her enthroned in the An old married man has discov woman of her occupation could well we’ve been travelin’ toward Maine as a granger. Wliat does this all to draw two barrels of water with a well bucket, to cleanse for washing ind main parlor, a little to the left ered when a woman has “something be. Seated by her side was a man as fast as them critters will carry to say” to him it is about time he with long, flowing hair and beard us, and when we git there we’ll never mean ?’’ the next day, and that time I wanted th« main entrance, peering with climbed a tree. frosted by age. His complexion was “ It means that I have been the leave again until they carry us out to die. It was most nine o’clock, keen black eyes at • the passers- Statistics show that boy babies as dark as an Indian’s, and his eyes feet fust. So there, young man, is victim of as vile a conspiracy as-ever and I began to think about supper, She looks like a great lay figure large and luminous. No gear of any our story. It is as true as gospel, was known since C:esar was stabbed when the deacon said all they had the exhibition of jewelry, lacs, are more apt, to die than girl babies. [ silks. H.r face is coarse featured, Boys cannot stand continual hug kind adorned his head, and the toying and if it’ll teach any old fools in this and Mark Antony orated over his was bread and inilk for supper Sun of the wind among his locks made country to stay at home, mind their prostrate corpse in the Roman forum, day night, and I rasseled with a tin vv lined, and highly rough. Her ging, as girls can. s are clear and bright. Her nose In all life de middle condition am him look like a huge cotton ball out own business, and let the Mormons to an audience of supes and. scene basin of skim milk, and some old large and straight, inclining up- de bes’. A man feels about as bad on a lark. Slowly the wagon moved alone you can print it in your paper, shifters,” and the boy dropping the back number bread, and wanted to fd. Her mouth is thin, and curved arter he’s oat too much as he does through Superior street and turned although I’d awfully hate to have any lines on the sidewalk, said, “Wha, go to bed, but the deacon wanted to into Outario. Arriving at the Central of my neighbors down in Maine see gol darn you,” to the horse that was know if 1 was heathen enough to go zaril her double chin, sinking down when he’s hungiy. Market a halt was made, and a it” i figure that is perfectly shapeless. asleep, wiped his boots on the grass to bed without evening prayers. A pupil in an English school M’heu Sister Stafford had finished, in front of the store and came in. There was no one thing I was less |den in billows of fat. The face is when asked to define the word “but neighboring restaurant visited. When the reporter entered the man and sku put away her pipe, paid her bill, and seated himself on the old half mashed on than evening prayers kindly one, wearing an almost tress” wrote out its meaning, “A fe woman were seated at a table partak went out and shook up the dog, bushel. about that minute, but I liad to take ldish look of pleasure. It is made | male who makes butter!” ing of refreshments in the shape of climbed into her wagon, gathered up again.” “There, this seems like home a prayer half an hour long on top of as if for ths stage. The lips are Texas is a great State for anta. ted. the cheeks rough, while the Sullivan ought to go there. Doesn’t coffee, bread and butter, beefsteak the reins and drove off toward the “What’s the row? Who has been that skim milk, and I guess it curdled Saratoga chips. When they had East.—[Cleveland Leader. ers of fat under the jaw» are the Scripture say. “Go to the ant, and playing it on you?” and the grocery the milk, for I hadn’t been in bed finished both produced from some ----- ——...--------- vdered. Above this mask of arti- thou slug hard?” man smelled a sharp trade in cab more than an hour before I had the mysterious crevice in their garments, SHE WANTS TO KILL A BEAK. il bloom is a heavy jet-black wig bages, as well as other smells peculiar worst colic a boy ever had, and I As a half inflated balloon suddenly short clay pipes, and after filling and thought I should die all alone up in ¡urls. coming well down upon the to the farm. Miss Fuller is a bright and attract lighting them seated themselves near the garret, on the floor, with nothing “ Well, I ’ ll tell you. Lately our (head. The eyebrows, too, are collapsed an old doctor in the crowd the door for an afteruinner smoke. ive young lady, who is doing her folks have been constantly talking of to make my last hours pleasant but ficial, being perfectly curved and quietly exclaimed: “That swelling Between blue and not unfragrant share in the world's work by conduct the independent life of the Harmer, some ratH playing with seeds of corn black. Upon the black wig is a has gone down.” a school at Grand Marais. When "History repeats itself” is an old puffs, the woman related to the re ing how easy it is, and how they on the floor, and mice running at wreath of artificial flowers so not teaching the young idea to handle and porter the following story, in a shrill saying, but you can ’ t make a boy be would like it if I would learn to be a through some dry pea pods. But, O. ring in color as to attract as much its musketry, she has been learning farmer. They eaid there was nothing how different the deacon talked in •niion as an electric light. Back lieve it who has been called up at key and a down-east accent: how to shoot herself, and by practice like THE woman ' s UNCOMMON STORY. it, and several of the neighbors the evening devotions from what he this crown of color is a purple school with his lesson unlearned. has become quite an expert with the “My name is Sarah Stafford, and Winchester. It didn’t tako much joined in and said I had the natural did when the cow was galloping on amed lace cap. In the ears of this “Did the child die under suspicious mge old lady blaze great solitaire circumstances? rcnmstanr.es?” asked __ ___ the Coroner ______ my husband's Timothy Stafford. We pleading to win a promise from Mike ability to be one of the most success him in the barn yard. Well, I got the colic and was just get Bond earrings, pricv $8,000. of a witness. “No, sir,” it died under live, or at least we used to twenty Brazel, with whose family Miss Ful ful farmers in the state. They all through eight miles from Portland, State of ler boards, that he would give her a drew pictures of the fun it was to ting to sleep w hen the deacon yelled iund her neck is a gold chain twice the back porch.” on a farm, where you could get for me to get up and hustle down neavy as any dog-collar ever made. “ “ It It is is an an ill ill wind wind that that blows blows no no Maine. For four years we've been lesson in deer slaying. Choosing a work your work done and take your fish Btairs. I thought may be the house galvantin ’ about out West, and are the middle is a bar of huge dm- body any good,” is what a Missouri favorable night the plucky school- on fire ’cause I smelled smoke, nds. J 1’ rom this descend other i man said as a cyclone carried his now on our way hum, thankful that ma’am, armed with her rifle and at pole and go off’ and catch fish, or a was I got into my trousers and came line over a surface of black satin mother in law into an adjoining we’ve had our lives preserved, for tended by Mr. Brazel, repaired to a gun and go out and kill game, and and uns we’ve been in some almighty tight small lake where deor were known to how you could ride horses, and pitch down stairs on a jump yelling ‘fire,’ I point lace to a girdle, where a j county when the deacon grabbed me and ®h and charms encrusted with lt was a blars(ed £n ligLtuan who places, and several times looked death be frequent visitors. A jack light hay, and smell the sweet perfume, told me to get down on my knees, and go to husking bees and dances, in the face. We don ’ t look like Mor Bonds repose. The left hand Xs: CODsill(,red the transcendentally sub was rigged in the stern of a boat, and before 1 knew it he was iuto the idl rom lie knuckle to the hrst lime gc in the Yellowstone re mons. do we? Well, we ain’t Mor and, with rifle ready, the lady pa and everything, and they got me all j morning devotions, and then he said worked up so I wanted to go to work ■ uions any more, but we once was. tiently waited developments. Soon II " i/“? «nKer.w,th ai“m°nd; ¡on-a trifle tawdry, y’knaw.” Oh! yes; the fools ain’t all dead yet a tine buck came stamping through on a farm. Then an old deacon that “amen” and jumped up and said for zs. Her hands are bony, ana show > i ns to fire breakfast into us quick and ’ evidences of the bard manual juanuaL . * A t V Florida ori' a , shark , swa.lowed «wa'loweu an which accounts for our bein’ here to the brushwood, attracted by theglare belongs to our church, who runs a get to work doing the chore's. I farm about eight miles out of town, day. ” And Mrs. Stafford stopped But the large i i ’ tgnl day clock accidentally dropped )r of her early life. Hus me lar^e j . —7---------------- ------- — on the water. Plunging in, he swam he came on the Beene and said he looked at the clock and it was just ana eyed her partner who sat smok its hold on the rings better than a int,° wa^er* a^d seven days later toward the light, until he was near o’clock in the morning, just re near •e supple hand. The right hand I ran as ai” h° ‘ore uear Pensacola to have it ing in silence near the open door. enough for a shot “Now’s your wanted a boy, and if I would go out three "You see.” she continued, after giv time,” whispered Mike to his com and work for him he would be easy the time pa comeH home and goes to domed with only one ring, ig. but it; it! wouni* U “p- P- on me because he knew my folks, and bed in town, when he is running a great blazing opal encircled with \ A M estern paper says that an ac- ing her pipe a punch with her finger, panion. political campaign. Well, sir, I had Bonds. Her black satin dress, robat turned a somen ault on a loco- “Timothy was always susceptible, “M’here shall I aim for?” inquired we belonged to the same church. I to jump from one thing to another f enough to stand alone, is covered ! motive smokestack. That is nothing. and I had to do this, that, and the the girl, in a tone of intense excite can see it now. It was all a put up from three o’clock in the morningtill job on me, just like they play three 11 black thread lace. White duch- ! An engineer can turn on the steam, other thing, if I wanted to live with ment monte on a fresh sti anger. I nine at night, pitching hay, driving i lace is about her heavy wrists, It is semi officially announced that, him in peace. Well, one day. while “Right behind the ear,” was the card was took By gosh, I have been reaper, raking and binding, shocking he was cuttin ’ grass in the meader, I fairly swaddles her short neck. | after retiring. General Sherman will answer. No more words passed. out there in. a week, here’s what wheat, hoeing corn, ■ and every a leanish man with an awful oily foia is the way she looked the i proceed to kiss what few remaining An instant after the schoolma’am’s there is left of me. and The only way I thing, and I never got a kind word. tongue came along and asked him to ning I first saw her. But I un- girls he has overlooked in this rifle sent forth a blinding flash and jine the Mormons. Now, so far as I deafening report. “Did I hit him?” got a chance to come to town was to I spoiled my clothes, and I think an stand she has a dress for nearly | country. the farmer I could sell cabbages other week would mnke a pirate of ry evening. By her side sits her Ag like ag two peas_Two Q’s. As was concerned. I hated Mormons wus qnerried the girl, as she took the tell to you for a shilling a piece. I knew me. But during it *11 I had the ad iband her opposite in everything .wift „ an arrow_The head of it. than I did pizen, but when Timothy rifle from her shoulder. In answer you sold them for fifteen cents and I vantage of a pious example. I tell the man to the house and he Mr. Brazel sent his boat forward with far as mere appearances go. He I As warm a8 toast—The dough in it. brought thought you would give a shilling. you, you, you think more of such a talked so good and kind to me and ? ia • old gentleman,. frail as a bandbox—The bonnet called me bis dear sister Stafford, I a couple of powerful stroke, and there, So the farmer said he would pay me man as the deacon if you don’t work n snowy-white hair and beard.' in it. struggling in the water, lay the gal wages in cabbages at a shilling for him, but only see him when he sre is not the simplest indication 1 Dar’s such a thing as being too sorter warmed up to him and listened lant buck, the blood pouring from a my apiece only charge me a dollar | comes to town, and you hear him to what he said. Oh ! he painted an display upon his part. But he brave,” says a plantation philosopher, bullet hole behind his ear. attesting for the and horse and wagon to bring sing, “Heaven is My Home” through awful prety picture of Utah, where rtily sympathizes with his wife, “Ef de trout warn’t so game he the accuracy of the teacher’s aim. them in. So you only pay three his nose. He even is farther from all was love and happiness, and where I admires her as artists do the wouldn’t be half so liable ter get The sight overcome her. Sinking cents. Here are thirty cabbages, his homo than any place I ever heard there was no backbitin ’ or slander. down in the boat, she clasped her lization of their loftiest ideals, cotch.” He read to us from his Bible and fair hands, raised her eyes to heaven, I which will come to ninety cents. I of. He would be a good mate on a is always ready to talk about his Mississippi river steamboat if he A correspondent asks, “Do canary prayed, and seemed so good that and exclaimed: “No, let me only j pay a dollar for the horse, and when could e. He will say, with an amiable swear, and I guess he could I get back to the farm I owe the Timothy was actually struck, while I birds like fish? ” M ell, we can ’ t tell capture a bear and I will bo ready to j ile upon his peaceful face: “How soon learn. Now. yon take these farmer ten cents, besides working a — well, I guess I was a little bit struck whether they do or not; but they die! — I Marquette (Mich.) Mining week for nothing. O, it is all right. I cabbages ami give me ninety cents, you think she is looking to-night?” j manage to catch a little perch every too ’ Journal. Splendid!” you say. don’t kick, but this ends farming for and I will go homo and borrow ten THE RECUPERATION OF THE STAFFOD FAM She has | day. Mell, she is splendid __ ____ Hennery. I know when I have got cents to make up the dollar, and send THE CHINESE FOOT the money she can spend. How “Yes,” said the innkeeper, “thir ILY. enough of an easy life on a farm. I my chum back with the horse and you like those diamond ear rings? teen at table’s bad,sure! M’hy, I put At this point Mrs. Stafford leaned The standard foot of the Imperial prefer a hard life, breaking stones on wagon and my resignation. I was thirteen men at a table yesterday, back, and for a few seconds was lost Board of Works at Peking is, accord the streets, to an easy, dreamy life on not cut out for a farmer. Talk about aid $4,000 apice for them.” and six skipped out without paying in contemplation and smoke. Mean ing to the North China Herald, a farm.” Beautiful.” fishing, the only fish I saw was a salt Beautiful, you say, M’ell. yes; but their bills.” while Timothy puffed away, but said twelve and a half inches. A copper “They did play it on you, didn't white fish we had for breakfast one v won’t compare with that bar of “These seats,” says a placard in a nothing. The dumpy horses dozed foot measure, dated A. I). 81, is still they,” said the grocery roan. “But 1 morning, which was salted by Noah, ttionds at mother's throat. I paid Hoboken ferryboat, "are exclusively in the sun, while the dog slept the preserved, and is nine and a half wasn’t the old deacon a good man to i in the ark,” and while the grocery i OOO for those.’ ’ man was unloading the cabbages the for ladies, and gentlemen will please sleep of the innocent in the shade of inches in length. The width is one work for’” I t . Crouse will go lovingly over not occupy them until the ladies are the great wagon. The Stafford family inch. The small copper coins, com “Good man nothin’,” said the boy, i boy went off to look for his chum, >y item of his wife’s wardrobe and seated.” were recuperating. A minute elapsed monly called cash, were made of such as he took up a piece of horse radish | and later the two boys were seen ck ofl the price of each bit. He An Indiana woman sues for divorce before S ster Stafford resumed. “To a size, semetimes, as just to cover an and began to grate it on the inside driving off' towards the farm with ards her as the toy figure of the on the ground of extreme cruelty, make a long story short,” said she, inch on the foot rule. In the course of his rough hand. “I tell you there's I two fish poles sticking out of the P window of his life. He is con- the instance alleged being the steal “Timothy and I were persuaded to of two centuries it was found that a heap of difference in a deacon in j hind end of the wagon. itly thinking of something that ing of her face powder to polish up sell our farm and go to Utah. We the foot had increased half an inch, | Sunday school, telling about sowing j — - - I cost much money to hang upon his big brass chain. got there in due time and was wel and a difference in the dimensions | wheat and tares, and a deacon ont on j WASN'T A PIG. aer. “Ella is better looking,” remarked corned by the hull Mormon Church. of musical instruments resulted. 1 a farm in a hurrying season, when I “Well, sir, whak'll you have?” said frs, Crouse is equally free with deacons and other big guns made Want of harmony was the conse j there is hay to get in and wheat to the waiter, as he brushed the crumbs Mra. Brown, with a smirk, “but Lucy The information about the cost of a great fuss over Timothy, while the quence, aBd accordingly, in A. D. harvest all at the same time. I went off will get married first. ” “ Yes, ” chimed the table with a napkin. “Tomato clos of her wrrdrobe. A few days women looked after me. One old 274, a now measnre, exactly nine out to the farm Sunday evernng a niece of hers was here on a in her husband, “gimme Luci fer fellow with a long neck and a crooked inches in length, was made the stand I with the deacon and his wife, and soup.” "Anything else, sir?” “Some blue t- The old lady introduced her matches every time.” leg said we must buy a farm at once ard. Among the means employed they couldn’t talk too much about , “Things have come to a pretty and prepare for great responsibilities. for comparing the old and new foot the nice time we would have, and the fish.” to one of the ladies of the hotel, “Withsauce?” “Yes: anda sirloin 1 said : “Look at the lace on my pass,” remarked Fogg, as a young He then winked mysteriously at are mentioned the gnomon of official I fun; but the deacon changed more * s dress. There are fifty yards lady walked by the window where Timothy and went away. Timothy sun dials and the length of certain I than forty degrees in five minutes cooked rare and some fried |x>tatoes.” “Anythingelse, sir?” “Green corn, in that trimming, and it cost Brown and Black were sitting. The allowed that they meant to elect him jade tubes used according to old I after we got ont to the farm. He a Jar'l ’’—[Correspondence Chi boys said they saw the “pretty pass.” to some high office in the church, but regulations as standards, One of | jumped ont of the wagon and pulled I baked beans, stewed tomatoes and— | and a cup ot tea, a slice of water P News. A few moments sometimes makes I told him office didn’t bring in bread these latter was so adjusted that an off his coat, and let nis wife climb j melon, a piece of gooseberry pie, and butter, so that I guessed we ’ d inch in breadth was equal to the out over the wheel, and yelled to the a great change. A man with blue '0T a .S triker .—“You know Jones eyes was seen going into a beer sa postpone buying the farm until we breadth of ten millet seeds. A hun- , hired girl to bring out the milk pail, I 1 some fruit cake, a plate of ice cream ‘ lived here a few years ago.” said 1 loon yesterday, and when he came found out how we liked the com dred millet seeds, or ten inches, was | and told me to fly around and un and some nuts and grapes.” “Any pudding, air?” “Pudding! I;“ to M’itherspoon. munity. So we rented a small house | the foot. The Chinese foot is really harness the horse, and throw down a ■ Didn't out a little later he bad black eyes. I order pudding?” near the town and held on to our I based on the human band, as is the lot of hay for [all the work animals, “No, sir.” “Well, bring me some “Pass’ Of course I'll pass!” re cash. I’d been scrapin’ and diggii in i European foot upon the foot. It and then told me to run down to the w ell. J hear he’s quite a succe88 pudding.” plied a twelve-year-old school girl the for nigh onto thirty years operator.” ---------------- and dian in’t , strikes the Chinese as very incongru- 1 pasture and drive up a lot of cows. | plum “Anything else, sir?” “Anything He is. eh? Did he jine the strike?” other day. “Doesn't my brother propose to get swindled rolled if I knew it. | ous when they bear that we measure The pasture was half a mile away, «0, no. He's superintendent of keep company with the school ma’am, Well, after we’d bin there awhile, cloth, woodwork, masonry, etc., which and the cows were scattered around else! Do yon take me for a pig?”— ’? Sew York factory, and he’s and will she dare snub one of the along comes a squad of the deacons, they regard as especially matters for in the woods, and the mosquitos were , | New York M’orld. j’educed the wages ten per cent, family?” who looked pions and resigned-like, the band, by the foot. Of the jade thick, and I got all covered with mud , It is estimated that there are and said that Tirnythy ought to take | tubes above mentioned there were and burrs, and stung with thistles, oe announces he hopes to be A London jonrnal says in regard ' to show a dividend of 20 per about 2,500,000 stammerers in the another wife, a young woman who j twelve, and these formed the basis and when I got the cattle near to the: to the Queens reading, that “of the ;011 the stock by the first of Jan- world. This, we presume, does not could be a daughter to me and com for the measurement of liquids and house, the old deacon yelled to me j newspapers, she is supposed to read That's the kind of an operator include the yonng men who only fort to my declining years. Well sir. solids 4,000 years ago. They are that I was slower than molosses in ( only such passages as have been stammer when they attempt to pop if they'd shot me down there, I • mentioned in the oldest Chinese doc the winter, and then I took a club marked for her by the lady in wait 1 —I Marathon Independent. ~ -------- the question. wouldn’t have been more surprised. aments with the astrolabe, the oycle and tried to hurry the cowh , and he >ng-’ In this way she gets all the 8. “iRb school in a neighboring all Yeast was invented in me the year 1 of sixty years, and several of the yelled at me to stop harrying, ’canse J deaths, and weddings, andelopmenta, WATERING THE MORMON BEACONS. “w th»n aDi.t9aShTf°rim “ leaven; gambling in the year won; I would retard the flow of milk. By and sc andals without taxing her mind “After I had collected my thoughts oldest constellations. It is likely gosh I was mad. I asked for a mos j with a lot of useless stuff about state nlut teach.eroJ PhyB>olOKy pianos in the year forte; esthetidsm a little bit, I went into the kitchen that they will be found to be an im ”ent the use of tobacco by the K fae "too;” the German neg I portation from Babylon, and in that quito bar to put over mo in»xt time I afTaira and Hermon®,. and horae-race®, and got a pot of bilin ’ water, and then •nd bh® is instructed to set before fttjTe the -nein.” and free I sailed into them deacons. Scatter* case the Chinese foot is based on a went after the cows, and the people i »nd scientific matters and things, t&? L lunches in the year “ate.” ---------- ---------------- you better believed they did. M’hy I. Babylonian measure of a span, and all laughed at me, and when I sat' l*>e use of the weed in all forms. ' " down on the fence to scrape the mud Father Tavlor was at onetime should be nine inches in length. '»ya she makes the deepest im-j A South Carolina farmer com thought they’d break their necks try off my Sunday pants, the deacon! very ill, ana hia nurse seeking to by showing them howit mitted suicide after planting im- ing to get over the fence. The gate The striks is at an end,” say the yelled like be does in the revival, comfort him, said: “You will soon be • the growth, and as boys desire mense quantities of watermelon* was too small for 'em, and they went so only he said,‘come, come, procraatin with the angels;” to which he re aK so much as to be tall and His conscience must have troubled down the road like a hnrrecane. I “O. K.” shouters. It has l>een ation is the thief of time. w * *-■«■ ’’--* do » I care about * * angels? • - You get plied, “What end that from the first It is at an picked up a rake and went after ’ em. 7 *n appearance, many have left him when he thought of the suffer I want to be with folks.” up and hump yourself and go and ---------------------------- hurts. and if I didn't baste the hindermoet * bad habit for this reason | ing he entailed upon mankind. W siting in vein—Blood. A pen picture-A litter of pigs. A summer resort—Catching Mies. A “queer” place—The counterfeit era den. A flight of fancy—An interrupted prize tight. A political wheel horse often comes to whoa. The wild waves are Haying “Let us