Look at the Map. >k at the Map. Stute of Oregon, Yamhill County. Here you will find the moat pro ductive section In the World. Iauid la cheap, offering special iu. ilueemeuts to fruit raisers and (lairyinen. «fr MeMInnvilie, Yamhill County. Here Is the County seut. Here is published THE TELEPHON E- KEG1BTEK, Monarch of home uewspapers, accorded first place in all the Directories. Idook at the Map. Look at the Map Circulation Guaranteed Greater Than That of Any Other Paper Published in Yamhill County VOL. V. NO. 12 M c M innville , O regon , T hursday , april 20,1893. M c M innville JCK AND DRAY CO ILTKR A WRIGHT, Proprietors Is of all descriptions moved and care- .ndling guaranteed. Collections will •de monthly Hauling of a l kinds clte.p .BREATH & GOUCHER, MARK ERADICATES BLOOD POI SON AND BLOOD TAINT. -------- Q-------- C evehal bottles of Swift’s Specific (S.S. S.) ° entirely cleansed my system of contagious blood poison of the very worst type. W m . S. 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I All Kindt of Witch«», Jewelry, Plat.d Wart Iks and Spectacled. MCMINNVILLE. OR. . COMMERCIAL STABLE ! Gates & Henry, Props. lMInnville. Oregon. ry thing New And Firstclass. 1 Accommodations for Commercial Travellers. ) Second and E Streets, one block i Cooks hotel. Anaorreoabl© Laxative and NERVE TONIC. Sold by Dnigglsia or sent by mail. 25c., 50o.t and $1.00 per package. Samples free. IF A WO The Favorite TOOTH POWSU rosier the Teeth and Breath. 25c. r” VLS, LEE LAUGHLIN E.C. APPERSON lldent. Vice President. Cashier lbs., now itis 163 ¡b«., nre-/7l< \\'i /’ Juctlon ot 152 lb«., and I feel to much better that I would oat take fl ,000 «nd b« pat back where I was. 1 am both surprised and proud of the change. I recommend your treatment t.> ulI tuflerera from obesity. Will answer all inquiries if stamp is inclosed for reply.” PATIENTS TREATED BY MAIL. CONFIDENTIAL.* llannleaa. and with ■<• starting, inco.-tvenl nse, cr bad ejects. For particulars address, with 6 contain stamps, ». 0. 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Ils them cheaper than any other in the Valley My all home-made 1 is tlie favorite wit'll all who have Epileptic Fits, Falling Sickness, Hyster em Give me a call ami get prices. ics, St. Vitus Dance, Nervousness, Hypochondria,-Meiancholia, In. ebrity, Sleeplessness, Diz» siness, Brain and Spi DECISION. iking of patent medicines, the nal Weakness. GE NELSON’S says: “I wish to deal fairly onorably with all, and when an article that will do what commended to do, I am not ,ed to say so. I am acquaint- tli Dr. Vanderpool (having treated by him for cancer), lave used his blood modicine, a as the S. B. Headache and cure, and while I am seven- 3 years old, and have used pills and other remedies for lood, liver and kidneys, I «ay that for a kidney tonic in t’s disease, as an alterative le blood, or to correct the ac- if the stomach and lmwels it very superior remedy, and anything I ever tried. This medicine has direct action upon the nerve centers, allaying all irritabili ties, and increasing tho flow and power of nerve fluid. It is perfectly harmless and leaves no unpleasant effects. «ogaaop_A Falnablo Book on Kervone L UL L DiwaM« rent free to attyiddreM, r K r r and poor natlecta can .Iso obtain | (ILL Utts medlelne free ot otuuxo. unov prepared under hi a direction by tho KOENIG MED. CO.. Chicago, 111. Sold by DruKjnFta at SI per Bottle, 0 for 35. r^Tae-1— «a. SdMtiflo American J.’B NELSON Yakinto. Wash, I cents a bottle, it is tlie poor man's and family doctor. by Rogers Brothers. fir Fr«acb—Y«a P rar tic«. In ©fhcr wvcl«, w« still («ach yon >RKK. and Mart yon In basin«««, «t which yon can rapi’llv rather in II m dollars. W« can «nd will. II ror Information and free Handbook write to MUNN A CO.. 361 BBOAPWAr, NBW YORK. Oldest bureau for aecuring patent« tn America. Bvery patent taken out by us is brought before the pubUo by a notice given free of charge In thb Jrientific JlmHiran Largest circulation of any scientific paper In the MACH «ent« CURE C ough S hilohs W,TH CURE white or bluish white. Sim SOMETHING ABOUT SIRIUS. I distinctly ilarly, Capella was formerly red, but ON THE UPPER NILE. now certainly blue. In the spectre- THE DQQ STAR HAS CREATED scope the star gives every indication of possesing a very high temperature. So MORE TALK. dium, magnesia, hydrogen and iron are shown to be among the constituents The Brightest Star In the Heaven.—It of this flery twlnkler. One very curious Bules Durlug the Dog Daye and le Not feature of th« star is its irregular move Conductive ot Ueallh-A tew Foot, about ment through space. Mathematicians the Brllllaut Sun. had shown that it behaved as if at tended by a large dark companion, and A star which so ¡upset the midnight bad actually computed tlie distance gravity of the Associated Press officials and orbit of this companion, when Al as to impress them with the idea that a van Clark first beheld the comes in strange Daituou was abroad has natur 1862. He had just finished an 18-inch ally attracted great attention. The telescope for the Chicago observatory, beautiful “Dog star”the brightest of all and turned its huge lens on the Dog- the distant suns, has been more talked star only to discover the hitherto un of in the past f«w days than all the seen body of the computers. Tlieteom- other stellar luminaries—on this ."coast, panion revolves about, its primary iu about forty-four years; it is ten seconds at least. Sirius to tlie ancients was th« most of arc distant (or the two-hundredth familiar of all tlie fixed stars. The part of the apparent lunar diameter). Egyptian year used to begin with the The companion of Sirius is only of the date ou which this brilliant star rose tenth magnitude, and is u deep yellow with the sun. This would be about color. It is really not much smuller July 20tb of our calendar, The star thau Sirius itself but is evidently a ushered in the “dog days.” It was burned out sun. Ami what a glorious sun Sirius must made most memorable by the inunda- tion of the Nile and In those days of be! It is over six times heavier than superstition It only needed a tremen- the conter of tills great system, and in pous star to rise coincidentally with actual light-giving power must exceed the sun as sufficient reason for any forty-two of our suns. And yet it may number of fearful occurrences. All of have burned out nine years ago, for all the old historians mention tlie star Sir we know to the contrary.— C. JI. Jf. in ius. It was a landmark in the sky—to Examiner. use a rattier curious ¿figure of speech. When Kdisnn Was Young. Tlieon Alexandrinus gave a table for determining the “heliacal rising” of “I was an operator In the Memphis the dog star. He said that a period of forty days, twenty .before and twenty office when Thomas A Edison applied after, this momentous event included to the manager for a position,” said the time of perspiration, hydrophobia A. G. Rockfeller, a member of the Reminiscence club, St. Louis. "He and other evils. came walking into the office one day The’name Sirius is usuailyj consider looking like a veritable hayseed. He ed us derivetl from the Greek Sclrios. It was supposed to be given to this wore a hickory Bliirt, a pair of butter bright star because of its brilliancy and nut pants, tucked into the top of boots because of the dryness and heat of the a size too large and guiltless of black weather which attended its annual ap ing. ‘Where's the boss'.” was his query pearance. However this may be there as be glanced around the office. No seems to be u singular felicity in the one replied at once and he repeated his The manager aBked him name of the constellation of which question. Sirlub is the most brilliant member. wbat he could do for him and the fu Cants Major, the "great dog," is a con ture-great proceeded to strike hint for a stellation just south of the equator, and job. Business was rushing and the of it needs but little imaginative force to fice was two men short; so almost any descry tlie rude outlines of man’s faith kind of a lightning slinger was wel ful friend in the group of stars includ come. He wits assigned to a desk and ed within its boundaries, when Canis a fusilade of winks went the rounds of Major is a little past the meridian, say the office, for the ‘jay’ was put on the about 8 p. id . At this time of the year St. Louis wire, the hardest one in tlie an observer studying the asterism from office. “At tills end of the line was an op- a* convenient point—say the nearest boundary of some southeasterly hill— orator who was chain lightning and he sees the uncouth figure of this canine knew it. Edison hud hardly got seat mass majestically stalking toward the ed before St. Louis called. The new sunset point. Sirius is the eye, a sec comer responded and St. Louis started ond magnitude star about four degrees in on a long report and he pumped it distant toward the west forms the tip in like a house afire. Edison threw of his nose, and the remainder of the his leg over the arm of his chair, leis apparition is the result of a sudden in urely transferred a wad of spruce gum from his pockat to his mouth, picked spiration. From the modern astronomers Sirius up a pen, examined it critically and has been a recipient of mueh attention. started in about 200 words behind, He Sir John Herschel estimated its light as didn’t stay there long, however. St. equal to 325 times the brilliancy of the Louis let out another link of speed, and smallest star we can see with the na still another, and the instrument on ked eye. It is over four times brighter Edison’s table hummed like an old- than any other star in the sky. Twenty style Singer sewing machine. “Every man in the office left his of the most brilliant stars in the Arma ment are rudely classed as “first-magni desk and gathered around the ‘jay’ to tude stars.” They are, Sirius, Cano see what he was doing with that elec pus, Alpha Centauri, Arcturus, Rigel, tric cyclone. Well, sir, he was right Cahpella, Vega, Proeyon, Betelgeuse, on the word, and putting it down in Aeheraur, Aldebaran, Beta Centauri, prettiest copper plate hand you ever Alpha aud Beta Crucis, Antares, Al saw, even crossing his t’s, dotting his tair, Spica, Fomalliaut, Pollux and i's, and punctuating with as much care Regulus. There are sixty-five second- as a man editing telegraph for printers. magnitude stars and 200 of the third, St. Louis got tired by and by and be nad so on, in all about 5000 stars visible gan to slow down. Edison opened the to tlie naked eye. The elder Herschel key and said, “Here, here, this is no supposed Sirius to be the center of a primer class! Get a hustle on you,” “Well, sir, that broke SL Louis all system and viewd it through his famous reflector. He said that its approach to up. He had been 'raw hiding’ Mem the flyld of ills great telescope was ac phis for a long tlmejand we were terri companied by a flood of light like the bly sore, and to have a man in our of coming of day, and that it was impos fice that could walk all over him made sible to observe its image without act us feel like a man whose horse had won ual pain to the eye. Herschel’s mirror the Derby. I saw the ‘wizard’ not was six feet in diameter, and gathered long ago. He doesn’t wear a hickory much more light than is given by the shirt nor put bis pants in his boots, but he is very far from being a dude yet.— Lick reflector. The star lias been seen to cast a dls- Practical Electricity. tinct shadow on a dark night, and yet The Countess of Tolstoi is an ex its light is only the one-7,000,000,000th part of that of odr sun in full daylight. tremely clever woman intellectually, How far distant from us must this im and one who is more than a match for mense sun be then? The mathematic her husband in his arguments. She al astronomers have not been silent on transcribes his books as they are writ this point. They tell us that the dog ten, as frequently they are altered and star Is Just 542,000 times as far away as revised, and in the case of the “Kreut- the center of our solar Bystem. Light zer Sonata,” copied it four times before takes nine years tdreach us from this the book was completed. The countess, distant body, and our own sun, seen who is of necessity the financial mana from one of his planets, would only ap ger of the family, lias taken possession pear as bright as a third magnitude of the estate, which she administers for star—not so large as any of the stars in the good of her husband and children. the “dipper.It is simply Impossible She it was who issued a few years ago, to comprehend such Celestial distances. tlie cheap edition of Count Tolstoi,s We may approximate the idea, as Prof. novels, on the royalties of which the Langley did, by saying that if the dis household has been supported. To her tance from our earth to the sun were firmness and determination the credit represented by the length of a man’s for the home in which the family re arm, he would have to reach one hun side, as well as the blame—if such it be called—for her busband's failure to dred miles to touch the star Sirius. And now about the wonderful ap practice the doctrine of a community pearance seen the other evening. It is of goods, which he so earnestly advo strange, of course, that a well-known cates, must be given; and her realiza star should be responsible for so much tion that a home must lie provided for tumult, and yet it has been conclusive the nine children who have lived of the ly shown that the “meteoric body”was sixteen bom to them, must be her ex only Sirius,twinkling abnormally from cuse. Dlgglng Oiit the Mod«rn Plow, Lena, and Telescope wat the Strangest. “I have spent much time in travel ing in India, Borneo and on the Malay peninsula,” »aid William Huntington at the California a few days ago, “and I have also traveled a good deal in other lands. I think on the whole the most interesting experience I ever had was in an ancient city on the Nile dn Upper Egypt. "I am not going to quote any guide books nor more than allude to any thing that is not well known, but I want to say that to even the well in formed man the things be sees on the Upper Nile will stay with him forever. I may be permitted, perhaps, to re mind you that these cities are more than (WOO years old, and that some of them had as many as u million inhabi tants each. Indeed some bad even more. “Well, when I was there a year ago, and men v.’«re digging among the ruin ed temples, some curious tilings were brought forth and these I regard as the strangest things, scan in all my wan derings. In an old tomb was found a curious glass and iron object, which on investigation proved to be a photo graphic camera. It was not such a camera as is used now, or has been sinoc our photography was invented, but something analogous to it, show ing that the art we thought we had diseovered was known over 6000 years ago. "Another thing that was discovered there In the sands of the Nile was a plow, constructed on the modern plan. It was not of steel, but of iron, and it had the same shape, the same form of point, and bend of mold board as we have now. Yet another thing was brought forth, showing that they were expert astronomers. It was a lens con structed in such a manner us gave evi dence to the fact that they knew the distance from the earth to the sun and moon and had many of our ideas in re gard to the science. “I saw where the Mohammedans had razed and attempted to destroy those cities, but many of the buildings, or at least, parts of them, are yet in a good state of preservation. The stones are largely granite, and there never was a better expression titan “imper ishable granite” so far as they are con cerned. “These things start men to thinking, and convince us that civilization may, after all, move in a circle, and things which we call new, are often old as the mountains, America and California are new to me but already I find here you refer to your lost civilization,mean ing, as I take it, more particularly the civilization of the Aztecs and the Tol tecs. “I don’t know whether you will find a modern (plow, an astronomical in strument and camera or not, but I would not be surprised if some one should find as remarkable things in this country as they have found in Egypt.” ______ ___________ WONDERFUL CAICEDO. He Woe» High Boot Heel. anil Spur, on the Tight Wlrn. Th« one especial thing in its line that seems to be moat pleasing vaudeville audiences in London Just now is the performance of Caicedo, the tight wire dancer. Tight rope walkers there are galore, and clever enough are their achievements, but of tight rope per formers there are none save Caicedo. Even on the tight rope and slaok wire which Caicedo smile« at as well enough as well enough for amateurs, his feats are hardly duplicated. His wire is a mere thread, invisible when stationary except from very near the stage, and wholly so even to Caicedo when vibrat ing, as it most of the time. It is stretch ed tightly as a flddlestring some teu feet above the itage. On this he per forins all the ordinary feuts of the ordi nary performer. Dressed in tights and carrying a balance pole he walks back ward and forward, dances, leaps and turns somersaults. But all this is pre liminary. Later he dons a military uniform and heavy riding boots, with high heels and immense spurs, does all the feats over again, and adds others that are simply astonishing. He marches across the wire with gi- aut strides, bounding id the ipr three or four feet at a step. He Jumps away up in the air, coming down first on one foot, then on the other. Then he makes prodigious leaps—seven, eight feet and more—into the air, and lands lightly with both feet on the wire. A peculiar thing is that as soon as be lands on the wire it stops dead, and he stands as firmly and steadily on it as though poised on'a granite pedestal. He makes a great bound, assisted by the spring of the wire, six or seven feet into the air, and comes down sitting sidewise on th« wire. Then comes his greatest feat. Bounding up from the sitting posture still higher skyward, he turns a somersault high in the air and comes down with his feet firmly plant ed on the slender thread of wire easily and with more grace than many an ac robat lands on a mattress. All this, with clumsy, thick soled, high heeled, spurred riding boots on bis feet. The boots have been investigated and found to be Just the ordinary kind. Caicedo is a South American, born in Popayan, Colombia. He has spent all bis life in the circus ring, and was an expert fancy rider and acrobat be fore he tried the tight wire. He prac ticed four hours a day for nine years before he could do his feats and all the time folks said he would never succeed. After three years’ nractice he contin ually fell from the wire, and after five he could Just walk and dance with a balancing pole. He does not now- know how lie preserves his balance, or manages to come down Just where the wire is. He does so unconsciously. He says, and truly, he cannot see the wire. No one can, for it vibrates like a harp string. He says he sees with his feet. Just now he is making $200 a week and a reputation that is worth much more soon—unless every one's expectations are realized nnd he breaks his neck. Are Americans a Practical People? The notion prevails in this country that we are a very practical people. We take credit to ourselves for being sensible, shrewd, and at least mindfdl of our interests. This quality gets a harsher name from our foreign critics. They say we are materialistic, grasp ing, and, in fact, sordid, as the thing we care most for is money, and that which we are most alive about is our material interests. They admit that we are “smart," but say that we are mentally commonplace and unimagi native. The critics are mistaken, and our own estimate of ourselves is more complacent than correct. We are a very Imaginative people and in many ways the most unpractical. The old stage conception of Uncle Sam as a good natured rustic sitting in a rocking chair whittling, was not altogether out of the way. Whittling is not a remun erative occupation as a rule, although this quaint waiter on Providence, who seemed to imagine that if he sat at ease all good things would, in the course of time, pass his way, occasionally did whittle out an invention that would save him from labor. He answered the Jibe« of his critics by pointing out the fact that the chair he sat in was a self rocker—a little invention of his own. Hu was a man of vague dreams nnd imaginations, No, brought to the test in the com mercial struggle of the modern world for supremacy, the American is not practical. In rivalry with other active nations he shows himself a bungler, and lacking in practical wisdom and foresight. An inventor, yes; but lack ing practical shrewdness. He is very ingenious. He has gone on doubling in the past few years the great world staples of com, cotton and iron, and he seemed confidently co expect that Providence will market them for him; especially as be has cheapened the cost of all these products, it would only be fair for Providence to attend to the selling part. He knows that one per cent of the arable land in the cotton disturbed atmospheric conditions. As A new way of trimming a cloth skirt one of the oldest writers once remark-1 states would produce all the cotton the is to join tne separate .panne gores with wuu puf- pui | i w.or]^ u #n(j he b-OWB tbat tbe ed: * flngs of satin. .'. ~~ -tlTt A dark brown skirt of | product of iro„ and “The flery Sirius alters hue, very light weight cloth presents a , And bickers ___________________ into red and emerald.” creases in an enormously greater ratio The flery Sirius was bickering into charmingly stylish appearance if the than the papulation, and yet he neg several other colors on Monday even- K01*8 of s*«,,ls *re covered with a puf- lects many of the most obvious means ing, and probably did seem a surpris- fln8of satin of a lighter shade, about to profit by this bounty of nature and ing object to the novice. A ship cap- an lnch or two inches wide. A trim- of his situation. He looks on and tain on one of the Atlantic lines once m,n8 thl" kind makes a skirt look braggs about his greatness, while his hurried to the company’s office upon | longer and its wearer consequently 1 industrial and commercial rivals occu arriving In New York with the state-’ taller. But there is ne denying the ment that be had discovered a comet fart that a little crinoline stiffening in* py the markets of the world. Now that he is in rivalry with them for a while on the high sea«. The strange ! P"‘ ev«ry skirt which is finished I fair share in so plain a prize, his con object was none other than the Andro-1 ‘ho* plainly around the bottom. duct shows him to be the most nnprac metis nebula. 1 ••• tical of men.— C'harlre Dudley Warner. The star which caused the recent, An iron meteorite of nearly a ton and ■ in Harper’ s Magazine far April. cons motion has frequently attracted at-1 measuring four feet two inches long, tention by its peculiarities of color. Ar-1 two feet three inches wide and twenty The painting by Millet recently sold atus called Sirius "poikilos,” the many , inches thick was recently found in at Brussels for 1200,000 was originally colored. Seneca spoke of the dog-star Youndegin, Western Australia, and sold by the artist for a en»k of wine as "redder than Mars." but it Is now has been sent to Ixtndon. worth about $8 Homes at the World’s Fair. There is no reason why anyone should be deterred from visiting the World’s Fair by reason of possible in convenience and uncertainty attend ing the securing of satisfactory hotel accommodations. The Northern Pacific railroad will in due time publish low excursion rates to Chicago and return for this occasion, while its double daily passenger train service, including through sleeping cars of both classes (Standard and Tourist) to Chicago, will as usual be at the head of the list in every particular. To help you in fixing in advance upon your place of residence while at tending the World’s Fair, we have placed in the offices of the compauy at 121 First Street, Portland, Or., compil ed by perfectly trustworthy parties, called “Homes for Visitors to the World's Fair.” This little book, which you can purchase for fifty cents, con tains a list of about 9,000 private fami lies who will accommodate visitors in Chicago during the time of the fair, viz: May 1st to October 30th; gives their names and addresses and number of rooms each will have to spare. The book also gives a list of the hotels and their locations; has twelve full-page large scale maps, each representing a section of the city, so that with this In formation before him the intending visitor himself can, at leisure, select the quarter of the city in which he would prefer to stop, corresponding in ad vance with oneor more families in that locality with regard to rates nnd the accommodations desired. A. D. C hari . tos , Asst. Gen. P. A., N. P. R. R. Portland, Oregon. What’s the Answer? D-PRICE’S owder The only Pure Cream of Tartar Powder.—No Ammonia; No Alum. Used in Millions of Homes—40 Years the Standard. SAVED BY A KISS. I ROCKING STONES. Sutldcn Bend ol a Head Enables Him to A Curious Geologic Fhaee on the Bank of rhe Confo. Escape Death. When the engineers were surveying “I was lieutenant-colonel of a Ken tucky cavalry regiment,” continued the Congo railroad they found on the Colonel John C. Underwood of Ken- bank of the river a curiously shaped tuck, while relating a story to a Bos stone, so poised on several smaller bits ton Globe reporter. "Our command that it rocked from oue side to the oth was in East Tennessee and one bright, er. The rock bore a striking resem moonlight night I concluded to ride blance to the remarkable monuments away from camp and take a look about still found in France and England the vicinity. I rode several miles and which were used as altars by the Dru coming to a farmhouse, hitched my ids al tout the beginning of the Chris horse and knocked at the door. A tian era. It was ou such altars that young woman, the most beautiful I the Druids ottered their sacrifices. So had ever seen, it seemed to me, appear on the banks of the Congo was found a ed after a while and invited me in. She counterpart of the Dolmens of north and her aged mother were the only oc Europe. The rock was in the way of the rail, cupants of the house, the men in the family being in the Confederate army. road track, and was therefore removed. We chatted pleasantly for a few mo Its fantastic outlines were never fash ments when my fair hostess arose and ioned by human bunds; nor was it said: “Colonel, you ran a great risk in placed upon the supporting stones by leaving your horse in such an exposed human agency. At least the geologist, position. The Yankee pickets are all E. Dupont, who visited the Congo to about us. I will go and put him in the make a study of its geology, says we have no proof of the existence among barn.” She left the room, and after a few tbs people of the lower Congo or their minutes returned and we resumed our ancestors of a state of civilization that conversation. Suddenly she started up would Justify us in attributing to their and listened. ‘Colonel, you must go handiwork even so rude and primitive now;’ she exclaimed; ‘I hear the sound a monument as a Dolmen. There are in this part of West Africa of horses’ hoofs; the federal« are com ing!” Rushing out of doors, she led a number of tottering rocks like the my horse to the back of the house, aud one discovered on the Congo. They I, following her, Jumped on his back. are all of natural origin, aud show the The most natural thing for me to have plainest evidence of erosion. Most of done would have been to set spurs to them have been carved by the elements him and get away as soon as possible. out of mica schists. They contain But I could not. I was young and im veins of amphibolitic gneiss or quartz pressionable, and the situation was much harder than the schists, and entrancing. The moon shed a silvery here and these some of the softer rock light upon the earth, a gentle breeze above the hard quartz veins has been was blowing and the rustle of the leaves worn away, completely severing the in the grand old trees was like music to connection tietween the once united my soul. And amid these enchanting upper and lower parts of tlie mass, and surroundings a beautiful face with tear so the upper portion is left to balance ful eyes looking up into mine beseech on tlie rock or rocks beneath. ing me to hasten. I could not resist Organs Lost by Disuse. the'temptation and stooping down from my horse put my arm around It is a suggestive fact not always her, drew iter closer to my side and sufficiently considered, that “as soon as kissed her. “As I did so a shower of bullets pass any organ or faculty falls into disuse it ed over my head. I was in full sight degenerates and is finally lost alto of a company of federal horsemen. My gether.” Through all the ages that man has horse realized the danger as well as I and a race for life ensued. The enemy had the power of speech this power has pressed hard upon me for a tint«, and not been fixed in us in any degree more than once their bullets grazed my whatever by heredity. It is regarded head, but fortune favored me at last, as definitely proved that if a child of and I reached the Confederate lines in civilized parents were brought up in a safety. Do you wonder that I remem desert place and allowed no communi cation whatever with man, it would ber when a kiss saved my life?” never make any attempt at speech. Up She Objected. to the last century it was not uncom mon to find persons living in a wild One of tlie most estimable women of state in the woods and forests of Eng Louisville and one whose friends land, France Germany and Russia, would never suspect her as the one re who were uttterly incapable of speech, ferred to below, is subject to smother though they could make sounds in im ing spells, and confidently expects itation of the cries of wild animals. some day to die during one of them. Certain parasitic insects have so com Several days ago, while sitting at her pletely degenerated that they possess front window engaged at some light neither eyes, legs, heads, months, stom needlework, conversing with a neigh achs or intestines. Animals that bur bor, she felt one of the spells coming row and live under the ground lose the over her. She called to her friend to power of sight or have «yes that are summon Dr. ----- and then fan her. merely rudimentary. Hlave ants and The friend was sent for the family phy working anta have lost their wings sician, and in no time he was at the through being kept entirely to a life on house. Meanwhile the sufleree was sure the ground. The masters in some col she was dying. “Oh, Mrs. ----- ,” she onies of ants in which slaves are kept sobbed hysterically, “I know 1 am go have become so hopelessly dependent ing this time. I am dying now, I’m on their slaves that they not only will dying. Good bye, Mrs. ----- .” The not seek food, lint are incapable of feed doctor at once began the application of ing themselves, and will starve with the usual restoratives, but they seemed food before them unless a slave is pres of no avail. The sufferer appeared to ent to place it in their Jaws. be gradually losing her breath, and the doctor believed she was expiring. He A gentleman who has been exploring tore away the ruchi ng about her neck near the former sites of Sodom and Go and called to her friond: “Mrs.----- , morrah states that, though he looked take off her shoes, please; we must en for the pillar of salt into which Lot’s liven her circulation, somehow.” The wife hadtbe misfortune to turn, he did doctor got her neck free enough, but not find it. This leaves his reputation when the friend attempted to remove for veracity ill excellent repair.- one shoe the sufferer kicked her friend’s The smallest holes pierced by mod- hands with the other foot. The doctor did not notice this, but, thinking per ern machinery are 1-10«) part of an They are I wired haps the friend could not undo the but inch in diameter. tons, he reached down and picked up through sappliires,rubies and diamonds one of tlie patient’s feet. The sufferer, by a machine invented by one John evidently in her last gasps, kicked him Wennstrom, which makes 22,000 revo also, but the doctor was determined. lutions a minute. "Mrs. ----- ,” he said, “your shoes are New Zealanders are.'protesting against too tight. They must come off". “Don’t doctor." gurgled the patient, the annexation of the Hawaiian islands by the United States, because that “don’t doctor, I’m dying." “I know it, Mrs.----- ,’’ he said, “but would give this country complete con trol of the proposed Pacific cable from these shoes must come off.” “Oh, no, doctor,” was the feeble America to Australia. pleading. There will be no Wagnerian perform “But I say yes,” answered the now thoroughly frightened doctor, 1 and I’ll ance this year .at Baireuth. A Wagner festival on a grand scale will be held take them off, too.” “Oh, doctor, please don’t, please there in 1994, however, when ‘‘Parsi fal,” “Tannahauser” and “Lohengrin” don’t”----- will be given. “I’m sorry, Mrs. ----- , but”-------- She wax a bright mathematical scholar and pretty and when she rat tled at the stamp window and laid down a dollar bill the handsome young clerk in a blue necktie was all atten tion. Raising herself with a powerful ef- “There’s a dollar bill,” she said. A Mussulman candidate is to contest ,'ert, the patient, pale os death itself, “Give me four times as many twos as for a seat in the legislature at the nest gasped: “ Please don ’ t take off my ones and give me the rest in threes." election in Cape Town. He is the first shoes, doctor, my stockings are full of “I beg your partion, miss,” he stam non-European candidate there since holes.” mered. the cape constitution was granted. The effort seemed to bring back the She repeated he request. “Certainly,” be said and began to life to the sufferer, and in half an hour : Tbere are no undertakers in Japan she was as well as ever, with a new an(; wben a person dies it is the cus- lay out the stamps. He worked at it ten minutes without pair of stockings on, fully ready for the tom for his nearest relatives to put him next ‘‘spell.” In a coffin and bury him. success,she waiting patiently the mean- . while. Women will lie much comforted and He wasn’t busy with any one else reassured to learn from Dr. Allan that and she didn't seem to mind seeing, in an emergency one must always grab Tlie Best Halve In the world for < 'ute, him calculate, so she gave him another ' a rattlesnake by the neck. However, Bruises, Horen, I'lcem, Salt Rheum, Ave minutes. there Is reason to fear tba. in the future I Fever Horen, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains. Corns and all Hkin Erup Then a customer came in. i as of yore, women will continue to tions. and poMtlvr-ly euren Piles or no “Just keep the dollar, she said very ' l( thr!r ,klrV aIld pay required. It in guaranteed to give «weetly, “and I’ll come around in the 1 perfect satisfaction, or money refund morning and get the Ntainp* In the ed. Price 25 cents per box. For •<»!» Put up in nest wetrhshare*) bott lea. by Rogern Bron. □oied. Small Btle Beans. Me. per bottlr. proper proportion«.’’