PRCKIREHS 11 ALL TH1W8. THE LOWEST IX PRICE; The price of this paper ba« lieen reduced to One dollar per Year. Money van lie saved now. Take The Telephone-Register. No other County Weekly in the State can be had at the price of Tin: T elephone - R egister . One Dollar Per Year. FIRST h THE STATE. M c M innville , O regon , T hursday , REGISTER^ E»tibli«hed Auqutt. 1881. TELEPHONE Established fune. 1886. VOL. IV may 26,189». VITRIOLIC RIFLES. Th. New Civilizing Agent Whirl. Science Presenta to War. The forward movement of civiliza­ tion has been compared to march of an army. Sometimes this comparison fails and civilization may better lie said to be rushing onward like a race horse, clearing ditches and hedges at a single bound, not even stopping for appar­ ently impassable streams. The present may lie rightly put down as one of those times, and we may add that civ­ ilization has just successfully taken an eight rail fence and today is bounding MOST BEAUTIFUL. PRACTICAL » away on the other side, kicking its AND EASY RIDING i 7 heels in the air and covering twenty It E Two-wheeled Vehicle ever invented. feet at every jump. To the youthful Descriptive Circular giving Price«, I; »- Testimonial'« Stc.. Free. reader we would say that you ought to UJ be thankful that you live in this age of :1m progress. o VILLA FUJETOKT These remarks of ours are called out A Strictly Iligh Grade Cart, finished as well as a buggy. The ADA CARTS V.W The liest cart for the Money. Handsome. Strong and Easy by the great invention of a French ar­ are the finest ever brought to the State. Don’t fail to see them before buying. Riding. Two grades kept in stock. my officer reported in a recent Paris dispatch. This a rifle for shooting vit­ riol. It will, we are told, “project a ■\X7"e ZZzLxre .Zù-lso stream of vitriol for a distance of sev­ enty meters.” That such a weapon used on everybody would not advance the cause of civilization is plain, but its certain humanizing influence is made WORKING THE POLITICAL WRINGING MACHINE. evident when it is added that it is pro­ In fact we have the completest line of Carts. Road Wagons. Hacks. Buggies, etc., in the State outside of Portland, and want you to call posed to use the new arm “only against GOT $2,700 IN SIXTY MINUTES Styles in Wooden I-«*!. SHE WANTED A SEALSKIN. savages to prevent them making fren- ' and examine them and get our prices. zied rushes.” We welcome the new Georgia ( The demand for willow wood for ar­ Cay van Raids Wall Street anti gun in the name of civilization. Fren­ tificial legs has grown immensely in the Brokers Tony Up. zied rushes of savages have been one of recent years. The funny men on the the most difficult things which civiliza­ There was a raid in Wall street yes­ The husband stood liefore the mirror stage talk glibly of cork legs, but the That we pay no Jobber’s Profits, but are. in fact, jobbers ourselves, and buy our goods at joblier’s prices. tion lias bad to deal with. Heretofore ( terday. It was very successful, yet the with his face screwed into a horrible light willow limits are more popular. we have had nothing but the timorous ( ticker failed to record it, says the New grimace. He was shaving himself. The English makers claim that the best ; repeating rifle and the weak and vacil­ York World. Some of the financial wife lingered at the opposite side of the willow in the world is to be found along lating Gatling gun with which to stay heaviest - weights were cornered and room with her mouth full of pins. She the banks of the small streams in their these unreasonable rushes. We have made , M c M innville to disgorge. They weren’t was just finishing her toilet. southern counties, and there seems J D. BAKER, not been able to do much for the sav- , squeezed, though. If they had been, “M-m-m-ump,” observed she. some ground for their contention, al­ age with these, but with the introduc­ goodness only knows what the result “Wali-aw-ah-oo, ni-ni,” he replied. though an immense quantity of good tion of this new weapon we may rea­ would have been. SURGEON AND HOMEOPATHIC The husband took a new twist in his willow wood is cut every year in this sonably expect much more. When we This particular raid was made by lips in order to stretch taut his cheek country. Statisticians say that over PHYSICIAN. Goods of all descriptions moved and care-1 ful handling guaranteed. Collections will* remember that the frenzied rush of the women. One is among the prettiest and facilitate the work on hand. The one million English speaking men wear Office Upstairs in the Garrison Building. be made monthly Hauling of a.l kinds I savage is almost invariably in defense most attractive and most popular of wife removed one pirn from her mouth or walk on wooden legs, and this ac­ done cheap of his home,wife, children and so forth, New York’s actresses, Miss Georgia and put live more in its place. counts for the enormous trade in limbs RAMSEY & FENTON, the enormity of his offense becomes Cayvan, the leading lady of the Ly- “Boc-r-soo-r-r,ni-timp,” she proceeded of this kind. The old fashioned stump more evident. ccum theatre, and the other is Mrs. with a careless air. with an iron tip on is seldom seen now. ATTORNEYS AT-LAW. But wc cannot believe, that the vit­ Thomas Whiffen, who is also a mem­ “R-r-nt-nt, ni-timp,” he promptly re­ It was a great success in its day, and riol thrower will be confined to the ber of the Lyceum theatre. joined. McMinnville. - - * * Orf«on’ with reasonable care and luck lasted Have the Largest Stock of The Ohio Improved Chester boar. Duke simple purpose of restraining the sav­ The raid was in the interests of the There was a moment’s silence, dur­ close on a lifetime; but it was too awk­ of Yamhill. No. 845(1 property ot Wrn. B. | Office, Rooms 1 ami 2 Union Block. Turner, will be permitted a limited number | ages’ absurd frenzied rushes. Its val­ Actors’ Fund fair. The women are do­ ing which time the fire crackled in the ward and conspicuous, not to say noisy of sows this season. Can be seen at own- ■ ue as a general civilizer and Christian- ing everything imaginable to make the grate and the lace curtains rustled gent­ to l»e |>opular. The modern wooden leg er’s farm l> miles southwest of McMinnville. (JALBREATH & GOUCHER izer is too evident. We estimate that fair a tremendous success. They pro­ ly. The wife was the first to speak is more coolly, but much more comfort­ FEE, - - - 12.50 : eight hardened savages can be civilized pose to call upon men prominent in again. able, and many a man who is compel­ PHYSICIANSAND SURGEONS, for every gallon of vitriol expended, the business, professional and social “Er-ah-m-m-m,” she remarked with led to walk by (lie aid of one ean give In the valley outside of Portland. and a hasty computation seems to show world. The bankers and brokers fell some animation; “pah-ow-m-ump,” pointers in grace and deportment to M c M innville , - • ■ O regon . that one good vitriol engine throwing to Miss Cayvan and Mrs. ’Whiffen and “ M-ump, ” quietly answered he. others more blessed by fortune. (Office over Braly’s Bank, i Another Carload on tin- way from a four inch stream can Christianize they began their work yesterday. The lady standing there in her statu­ tlie factory! more natives in a given time than a J. C. MICHAUX, Theycan and will sell tor CASH, or a reasonable length of time, hundred missionaries. Vitriol seems The scheme doesn’t give the men esque beauty, hastily ejected the pins IM’s reason together. Here’s a firm, any show at all. They simply have to npon the table and stared in astonish­ one of the largest the country over, the Solil at Strictly Eastern Prices; cheaper than the public have ever been able to buy. so far ahead of the machine gun, or of disgorge and be as happy over it as ment. world ever; it lias grown, step by step, And Every Instrument PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. rum. for use in Africa or other dark they can. Some of them managed yes­ “Ami you consent without a mur­ through the years to greatness—and It corners of the globe, that it is absurd terday to be very happy indeed. The mur?” she exclaimed at last, and her sells patent medicines!— tigli! IAFAYETTE. ORF.GON- to mention them. Let us suppose that “That’s enough!” J.n.21. ’88. This does not mean six months or one year, and then 10 per cent, it is desirable to Christianize a given men who have been accustomed to eyes swam with tears of joy. evade the most ingenious people who The gentleman, proud in the con­ Wait a little— Music makes home pleasant and . to our attorney for collection. African village. Instead of spending are seeking subscriptions, found them­ sciousness of strength, suddenly pulled This firm pays the newspapers good I P. TURNEY. ’J • thousands of dollars in sending mis­ selves helpless. When Miss Cayvan’» his face into sbajie and stared likewise. money (expensive work, this advertis­ Cheerful, and when you can buy TH2LT sionaries and rum to the village, and card goes into a broker he is going to you should an Organ for Q “Consent to what?” he weakly de­ ing!) to tell the people that they have SURGEON AND PHYSICIAN. then, after all, having to finish work faith in what they sell, so much faith not deny the * wife or child- It is a mistaken idea that goods can be sold as cheap on time as slowly and laboriously with the breech see Miss Cayvan just as quickly as he manded as if with a foreboding of evil. that if they can’t benefit or cure they possibly can. Incidentally he may Specialty of surgery and diseases of women “ To my having a new sealskin. I ren the refining influence of music. for Cash. loading rifle, we forward a steam vitriol mention it to the other fellows in an had no idea you would say yes so soon. don’t want your money. Their guar­ U nion B lock - M c M innville . O r . engine to the ground at once. We off hand, sujierior sort of way. At least Oh, you dear old darling.” antee is not indefinite and relative, but A full assortment of THAT move it to the center of the village the that is what the guileful broker did She threw herself upon his bosom definite and absolute—if the medicine VIOLINS. BAN.TOS, GUITARS AND ACCORDIANS. The proposition is this: That CASH IS THE BASIS, and that first dark night and prepare for earnest yesterday. When he reads this he will and got some soap on her nose. He si­ don’t help, your money is “on call”. Steam is got up, two or three be prepared when Miss Cayvan calls lently acquiesced, but remained in a Suppose every sick man and feeble CHAS. GRISSEN. those who allow their names to go on our books must pay from 5 to 10 action. Carries the Best Line ot Choice Meats in lines of hose are laid and men are sta­ upon him today. But even then he fitful, moody abstraction for hours, like woman trie«! tins«' medicines and found per cent, for that luxury. the City. Game and Fish in Season. 1 oul- tioned on the outskirts with vitriol hasn’t any hope of escape. His gal­ ane who has sustained a great and un­ them worthless, who would be the loser MEEIT trv hides, etc., bought for the highest mar­ Babcock extinguishers and hand gren­ lantry will not permit him to refuse to expected blow through no fault of his you or they? ket price and cash paid for sanic 1 our BURNS & DANIELS. ades. attention is called to the fact that we al­ Just before sunrise a friendly see Miss Cayvan and when he does see own. The medicines are Dr.Pierce's “Gold­ ways serve the best meats to he found. native sends in a still alarm, the hose her he will find that he has contributed en Medical Discovery,” for blood dis­ Your patronage is soUctted.^^ A Wander in FeninmiAliip. is manned, a bell rung, and as the un­ twice as much as he thought he could eases, and bis Favorite Prescription, civilized wretches run out of their huts, afford. for woman's peculiar ills. If they help I. W.COWLS. LEE LAUGHLIN C *PPERSON perhaps contempleting one of their When Miss Cayvan left her Harlem Among the curiosities preserved by toward health, they cost JI a bottle, President. Vice President. Cashier frenzied rushes, they are instantly and home yesterday she wore one of her the Minnesota Historical society is a each. If they don’t they cost nothing! easily civilized. If any of them in most bewitching frocks and so did Mrs. lithographed copy of an engrossment of Quality and Quantity. their bigoted and pagan eflorts to es­ Whiffen. They were as anxious as on the emancipation proclamation. The McMinnville, Oregon. cape being civilized, crawl up tall trees, a first night. They decided they would engrosser, one W. H. Pratt, of Daven­ “Mark this prophecy: “The time the vitriol tower will be run up and make their first assault upon George port, Iowa, was so very skillful in his Paid up Capital, $50,000. the humanitarian work extended into Gould. They knew he has much more manipulations of the pen that lie .suc­ will come when customers will prefer the highest branches. The Babcock money than any ordinary person would ceeded, by careful and exact shading of to pay 12 <‘cnts a quart for milk made Transacts a General Banking Business, and and hand grenade men will pick know what to do with. Then, as the the letters, in producing a very excel­ solely from wheat bran, cents a off any unreasonable stragglers. How husband of an actress, they thought he lent portrait of Abrabnm Lincoln, the clover Interest allowed on time deposits. Fills? 3>TO! ! quart for that imide of corn f.Hlder.cata- Sell sight exchange and telegraphic trans­ If you take pills it is because you have Points to Remember for 1892. in the purchase of Gro ■ beautiful, yet how simple! If a system ought to have much sympathy with author of the famous document, in the meal, brewers' grains and other things fers on New York, San Francisco and Port­ never tried the curies. of vitriol works could be established in the cause. The cause is what sustained center of the copy. In other words the so commonly fed to the cows. Quality land. Africa, with mains throughout the the two actresses i’l making the sortie letter itself is made to form a jiortraitof ' milk, from healthy cows, served in clean Collections made on all accessible points. S. B.Headache and Liver Cure I glass jars, i‘, going to take the place of It works so nicely, cleansing the Liver Fully one-half of the People do not stop to consider darkest portion, and vitriol hydrants at upon that place of mystery known as Mr. Lincoln. There were probably a Office hours from 9 a. m. to 4 p m. and Kidneys ; acts as a mild physic without large numlter of them originally struck a portion of the quantity milk now U|e the money they can save during the year in purchasing goods of a all of the cross roads, it would gaeatly Wall street. on the market. There will be a mar­ causing pain or sickness, and does not stop firm that pays strict attention to the selling of First Class Goods facilitate the good work. This would Those who saw Miss Cayvan and oft’, but copies of it are now very rare. gin of profit in quality milk, which is von from eating anil working. As a specimen of penwork it is certain ­ at a Small Profit. now disputed in (lie matter of quantity To Try It Is to Become a Friend to it. be very expensive, but ought we con­ Mrs. Whiffen enter Mr. Gould’s office milk.” For Sale by R ogers B ros . sider expense when the civilization of in the Western Union building, say ly very unique. People usually go to the nearest place regardless of a great continent is at stake? The an­ that they were nervous. Very likely H»nse, Sign, and Ornamental Painter cost. We sell our goods cheap and deliver them at your door. swer is obvious. The Only Sign Writer in the County. You will be able find every thing in the grocer}* line in our store. But even if the new weapon is never they experienced a stage fright. The younger Mr. Gould listened to them Homes fitted up in the Neatest and Most used as a direct Christianizing force,but explain their mission. He told them We are in it — The Grocery Business; and we will al ­ Artistic Style. Prompted, by gratitude ways give you the best goods in the city for the money. We give is confined simply to rebuking the un­ it was a very fine cause indeed, and Designs furnished for Decorations. to Dr. DeFreye. the Euro­ lettered savage for his barbarous prac­ ' that he would be very glad to contrib- cash or trade for all produce, suit yourself in the matter. Remember Paper Hanging and Inside Fur­ pean specialist, who has tice of making frenzied rushes in de­ ' ute his little mite. This made the la- nishing a Specialty fense of his home,we nevertheless glad­ ' dies gasp. They didn’t exactly know Work taken bv Contract or by tlie Bay. Ex­ succeeded in curing me of ly welcome it. The indirect effect even what a Gould mite meant. The young perienced men employed. chronic kidney, liver and in this case upon the savage mind can­ ’ financier drew out his checkbook and f Third Street. McMinnville. Oregon. gastric sickness, for the not fail to be marked. The ennobling ’ handed Miss Cayvan a cheek for $500. treatment of which I had influence of civilization will be brought : Then she made him put down his Observing housekeepers quickly learn that Dr. Price's DERBY & BOYER, consulted a number of home to him. He will see the striking name on the subscription list for that difference lietween civilization and bar ­ Cream Baking Powder is far superior to other brands in other physicians, through amount. It was the first name there, Proprietors of The McMinnville barity. In the past rum and repeating and the actress wrote “paid” after it which I was brough to the the fact that they never fail to make the finest pastry, and TILE rifles have done much to impress this herself. They thanked him with en­ verge of despair, fearing I upon him, but rum and rifles will be thusiasm, and Mr. Gould wished them TILE if they wish to be economical they can dispense entirely with never could, be cured. I nowhere by the sido of a stream of good luck and all that sort of thing. Situated at the Southwest corner of the consider it my duty to rec­ fresh vitriol coming out of a four-inch Their first experience encouraged eggs and can use a less quantity of butter for shortening Fair Grounds. All sizes of ommend. him to my fellow I have enlarged my store and have combined a full and complete stock of nozzle at a 500-pound pressure.— N. y. them greatly. They devoted an hour Tribune. to bobbing in and out of brokers’ offices purposes. The advantage is not alone in the saving effected First-Class Drain Tile citizens who may be afflict­ Sash. Doors. Mouldings. Glass, Paints. Oils, Varnishes, Brushes. and not once did they fail in securing W. K. WHITE. kept constantly on hand at lowest living ed. A Country Without Clocks, And everything belonging to this class of goods but in avoiding the trouble and frequently the great difficulty a subscription. At the end of that time prices DERBY A BOYER, Whiteson. «Yamhill Co.. they started for home, very tired, very McMi inville, Oregon Have also Combined a Line of Fishing Tackle & Guns We know that there must have been happy with a total of $2,700 to repre­ of securing eggs that are fresh. This is often a serious Oregon. a time when timepieces ware unknown This with my Immense Stock of and that, even to this day, there are sent the work of sixty minutes. trouble. Dr. DeFreye, corner of 1st and I people in this country—Indians, for in­ “Gracious! I don’t want to talk about Pine streets, rooms 0 and 7, can be Local and Traveling. Cakes of various kinds from the informal Griddle stance—to whom the sun is the only it now,” said Miss Cayvan last night! " — To represent our well known counseled free on all chronic diseas­ standard of time; but it is hard to real­ when she was asked to tell her expe­ house. You need no capital to es of both sexes. The cures of pri­ Cakes to the stately Bride Cake can be made with Price's ALTOGETHER MAKES A COMPLETE COMBINATION reprevent a firm that warrants ize that such people could be anything riences. “I don’t want to anticipate nursery stock first-class anil true to name. vate diseases, such as Loss of Man­ my work. I’ve just begun. I don’t As to stocks, but not with any other firm or men. but barbarians. Yet Golden Ikiyx tells W ork am . the Y ear . »100 per month to hood, Impotency, Errors of Youth, | Cream Baking Powder, which insures light, sweet and hand, us there are civilized countries where want the men to know that I am get­ the right man. Apply quirk stating age. Stricture, etc., (his principal spec ­ I STILL RUN MY BUSINESS AT THE OLD STAND. WHERE PRICES Nurserymen. Flor- L. L. MAY &. CO., a timepiece can be dispensed with very ting subscriptions. If they find it out some cakes; or when used for Griddle Cakes to be eaten hot ists and Seedsmen. ST. PAUL. MINN. ialties by dint of his European hos-| AND GOODS CAN T BE BEAT conveniently. In Liberia, which is maybe they won’t see me and we’ll pital experience), are never pub­ enables their production in the shortest space of time, always anything but barbarous in manners lose lots of money.” Call and see me before buying. lished. and customs, a clock is rarely slen in Correspondence I’. 0. Lock Box O. (). HODSON According to a bulletin issued by the tender and delicious. T he y sower Nr has the farmhouses, and many of the town American 329, Portland, Oregon. Geographical society there is NO SECOND CHANCE. residents have no time pieces of any no immediate danger of the present idood ««UM M.va make th« meat of the Office hours from 10 a. m. to 4 p. i Dr. Price’s is the only Baking Powder that contains the KAR ! I undertake to briefly sort. The reason Is is that the republic generation being crowded off’ the conti­ m. and from 8 to 9 -'’clock in the W rf S SI I |S‘*:,'»l»»nyf*iHyintellig’riltp.nHjn