THE TELEPHONE-«EXISTER
The Fashions of Taris.
becomes impossible, for he regards what- ■
ever you may say as a mere opening foi I The late fall styles are so pretty and
M c M inxvillk ,
O regon .
coquettish that even a plain woman may
his own brilliancy.
“I have lost my father since I saw 1 look pretty in them if she only knows
Decemlier
hc-reelf, her failings and her best points,
yon,” induces the reply:
“He's gone farther but not to fare and dresses to make the host of the worst
worse.’’ or perhaps. ‘Profit and loss 1 ones and enhance the best. Two of the
prettiest of the season depend upon the
ABOUT MISTAKEN WIT. trust it will prove.”
I know a person of this sort to whom ensemble for their full effect. One is o1
it is impossible to narrate anything; he
THE PIPE IN GRANDFATHER’S MOUTH is so busy in looking for an opening for
-HOW GRANDMAMMA DANCED.
his own jokes that he cannot follow the
thread of any story or take a rational in­
Will Yon Have Some Claret?—Caricatures terest in any discussion. I once wrote a
note inviting him to lunch to meet a
Not Relished by Tlieir Snhjects—"tton’l
stranger, but added, “And please not to
Laugh at Yonr Own Jest»"—When to B«
make any puns and very few jokes, as
Fanny and When Not to Be Funny.
this gentleman is not capable of appre­
ciating humor, and might think himself
(Copyright by American Preu? Association.]
We sometimes hear persons playfully insulted.’’
Another mistaken humorist is he who
warned “not to be so funny or they will
appreciates his own jests more than any­
hurt themselves."
But it is quite true that mistaken body’ else does, and liegins by saying;
ideas of humor often do result in mis­ “I’ll tell you the funniest thing! You'll
fortune to the humorist, and one gener just die of laughing,’’ and laughs so im­
ally feels that the misfortune is weli moderately himself that you can hardly
gather what he says, and feel much
enough deserved.
I knew one young man who cut him more like yawning than smiling.
The most successful manner of jesting
self out of liis grandfather’s will by
ESSENTIALLY PARISIAN.
sketching a pipe as coming out of the is the unconscious, and nobody ever
mouth of that venerablo gentleman's made me laugh so much as a long, lean, prune faille with velvet stripes, made
portrait, and a young lady who lost th« sallow, lantern jawed western man, who sheath shaped in front and Inn shaped in
gift of her grandmother’s brocade dresi used to sit looking as if he were at his Hie back, quite plain at the foot. The
of unknown value by humorously illus mother’s funeral, and in a low. monoto­ waist has a Figaro jacket made of a full
trating tho old lady’s proimble style o! nous voice without a smile in it tell sto­ jabot frilling of Spanish lace, with high
ries absolutely painful in their mirth puffs and frills of the same on the shoul­
dancing in her youth.
As for more severe practical jokes, few compelling quality.
ders. The vest front is of maize colored
Two most objectionable forms of hu­ satin. The gloves are maize color, and
persons in these days are so regardless oi
decorum as* to practice them, and yet mor are the indelicate and the profane, the felt hat is large, cream colored and
some are. Not a year ago I beard a gen and I am happy in lielieving that these trimmed with yellow velvet asters and
tieman ask a lady sitting at the sain« are largely going out of fashion among black velvet. This costume can be worn
table with me whether she had ever decent people, or, at any rate, in the pres­ as a carriage dress, a reception and visit­
tasted an especial brand of Burgundy. ence of people of another turn of mind. ing costume and a dinner toilet. The
No matter how funny such a jest or black fan has a bunch of asters and a
She said no, and he rejoined, “Permit
me to pass you the bottle." She took it such a story may be, it is emphatically a flot of corn colored satin ribbon.
and tipped gently and then more stren­ mistaken form of wit, and I for one al­
The other charming gown is of faded
uously, until it became evident that it ways feel that I liar received an injury indigo blue camel's hair, trimmed with
was empty, whereupon not only the by having an association of ideas forced rich passementerie in cashmere colors,
donor but his wife began to laugh and upon me which I may never be able to and a high wired frill of laco around the
look about for applause. The victim of forget, and by which things that I might neck. A dark blue velvet shirred toque
the joke laughed also, but not pleasant­ reverence or admire, or matters of which is trimuied with shaded plumes in blue.
ly, and rejoined, “You might as well I have hitherto taken no thought, Itecome This is a very dainty’ and delicate cos­
subjects of annoyance and mortification, tume for a young girl.
have given me your own head. ’’
The joker ceased laughing and angrily | for no woman wishes to understand, or
Walking dresses are divided between
i to appear to understand, a double enteu- the distinctively»French and the English.
demanded, “Why?”
“Because there’s nothing of value in j drr, and to force her to do so is both an One lovely walking gown is of tho beau­
it," replied the lady, and there were two I insult and au injury.
tiful new cacheuierienne. which is of
Another odious form of humor is what mauve, brocaded in white laco pattern,
enemies for life, not to count the man’s
wife and as many of the lady's family a« college IxiyB call hazing, and consists in cut on the bias. The skirt has the wrin­
the united attack of a certain number of kled apron drapery in front and full
she chose to complain to.
Another practical joke which came persons upon a solitary victim. There plaits in the back, the bottom plain.
under my notice was the contriving that arc persons whose lives are made a weari­ The corsage is yoke shape, with black
two very susceptible youug people should ness and a burden to them through this velvet sides coming down to a pointed
discuss “spoons’’ in an arbor where n j kind of persecution, who never can get girdle, with flots of velvet ribbon at the
wag was hidden, who, imitating the : anybody to treat them seriously, who arc side. The sleeves are medium high,
girl's father, suddenly cried out: “Un­ j in the position of Victor Hugo’s L'Homme tacked iu gracefully here and there. A
hand them, villain! My ducats and my qni Kit, and never open their mouths on dainty little mauve toque with pnrple
daughter!" and then fled, but was pur­ i the most solemn or tender subject with­ asters completes
sued and canght in the midst of his ac­ out being greeted with derision and jo-
complices, and so was started a feud that ; cose replies.
This form of humorous persecution is
■ no time will heal.
But apart from such crass brntalities ofteu seen in families where all seem to
as these how many persons sow endless have tacitly agreed to make some one
regrets for themselves and others by 1 member the butt of all the rest, and I
mistaken humor. Most women are .sen­ have often l>cen present at scenes that
sitive as to their age. It may bo foolish, reminded me of a pack of terriers wor­
but it is almost universal, and there is rying a ixxtr puss unable either to escape
no intimacy, no degTee of relationship, no I or to defend herself. Qf course it is "all
een-tiblenes* on the part of the recipient, in fun" and not maliciously intended,
that can make a jest that turns upon age an l probably if the victim were seriously
acceptable to a woman, or for that mat­ ill or in great visible affliction the ter­
ter to a man. for the lords of creation riers would become sympathetic broth­
have a great deal more petty vanity than ers and sisters, father and mother, hus­
they wish to take credit for. I once band or wife, bu t until the matter comes to
heard a bachelor of about 50 dogmati­ some such issue nobody guesses the pangs
cally asserting that Washington s inau­ of humiliation, anger, wounded feeling
guration day was very hot. Tho ques­ and even growing hatred that a long
tion was discussed until at last one course of mistaken wit can induce in its
young lady flippantly remarked, "Well, object.
I have quoted the father whose sous
since Mr. So-and-so was there and saw
it we must believe it.’’ Poor So-and-so used “rish” as a synonym for stupid,
always has a spiteful word for that girl’s dunce, or blundering, and I also knew a
wife and mother to whom nature had
name whenever it is mentioned. e
Nor do any circumstances or relation­ been unkind in inducing an enormous
ship make a caricature of him or herself 1 bulk and unwieldy figure. Her husband
WALKING COSTUMES.
acceptable or funny to its subject. There I was a witty man. and his two daughters
are very few of us who might not l>e inherited this talent as well as n slight
The English stylo prodnees a gown of
caricatured by a clever draughtsman so and elegant figure. No doubt they were drab smooth faced clotli with a wide
as to make all our friends shake with fond of the mother, who was on her part band of brown and white polka dot
daughter, bnt not one of them nor blindly devpted to them, but one could suralt around the bottom, and the vest
would the artist, himself find a carica­ hardly pass an hour in their Sbeietv with­ front ami forearm of the sleeves of the
ture of their or his own peculiarities out hearing some jocose allusion to her same. It is sheath shape and tailor
one-tenth part so funny; in fact, most of peculiarities. Sometimes she was called finished with high flaring collar. With
us would quietly set up an abiding dis­ |’‘Jumbo." and asked if she could pick this is worn the sailor hat in brown
like to the perpetrator of this admirable up needles and hated tailors, and some­ very correct but not graceful.
times Barnum’s fat lady and sometimes
jest.
Nor is it ever safe to jest upon an­ ‘•Hippie.’’ as short for hippopotamus. If
Tlir Uft L<?~.
other's mistakes iu social or educational the family went to drive there was al­
There is a popular idea that because the
matters.
ways a jocose discussion as to the safety right arm is more ofteu used and stronger
“Just fancy what my wife said when of the carriage springs and th“ cruelty than the left, so the right leg is stronger
than the left. This is not correct: there is
Professor Lunis asked her if she thor­ 1 to the horse.
that the left leg in most people is
oughly understood his theory of aster­
If she was to go in a boat there was evidence
oids. She asked if they weren't :i kind an outcry that she must be put in the stronger than the right. From the theo­
of punctuation marks! Thought, he i middle, or plenty of ballast taken iu to retical point of view it would appear that
in all manual labor requiring increased use
meant asterisks!’’ So said a great, stu counterbalance her weight, or a wonder of the right hand, the left, leg is also em­
pid, good natnred man tho other night if the sheathing of the boat would stand ployed on the principle of equilibrium.
in company, and had no idea his wife such pressure: in fact, the manners and
In the case of The lower animals (except
would rather ho hail surreptitiously forms of gibe were manifold, hut all ambulators, camels, etc. . and babies, when
pinched her black and blue.
walking
on all fours, the right fore limb
came to the same end. and in spite’ of
Nor. if you would keep your friend, great self control and dignity on the moves with the left hind limb, and vice
ever point out or narrate or seem to part of lhe sufferer, I have too often versa. It follows from this that man. using
perceive anything absurd in connection seen tho sudden flush, or the compressed the right arm more than the left, would
use the left leg more than 1 he
with him or her. No matter how ridicu­ lips, or the glistening eye, to doubt probably
right.
lous he looked running for the train, whether the family victim felt her posi­
Many people find Jess exertion in walk­
with his coat tails flying out behind, tion or not. At last the father died, and ing around large circles to the right than
don't make a good story of it. whether it was observed that the widow did not in going to the left. This is also the case
in his presence or absence. No matter mourn as one utterly broken hearted, in race patlfs for athletic sports, nearly all
how funny her attitude and expression and also it was observed that she found of which arc arranged for the racers to go
were when the mouse seemed bound in her companies and her occupation as far in circles to the right in running. Again,
seeking refuge under her skirts—if yon as possible from her daughters. Prob­ travelers hare observed that hunters, when
tell anybody else half yon think about ably the wittiest of strangers would not lost on prairies, wander arotin 1 iu circles
’to the right.
it yon will win a laugh and very proba­ consider it appropriate to jest her upon
This fact has been attributed to their fol-
bly lose a friend.
her figure, and she preferred loneliness 1 lowing the course of 1 he sun, but this does
“I never since have dared to be as to humiliation.
not appear to lie necessarily the case. Many
funny as I can," says Holmes, and for
In fact, to stun the whole thing up, skaters can perform more figures on the
various reasons a good many humorists personal peculiarities arc mistaken ob­ left than on the right foot—or, at any rate,
might echo the confession.
jects of humor, and so is anything that I in commencing, figures are more readily
Another class of mistaken wit is that shall injure tho amour propre of the i done on the left foot-. With rope dancers
by which a rather slow and simple per­ subject, or anything that shall expose it is usually observed that the more com­
son is made the target for some sharp him to the ridicule of others, or anything plicated feats of balancing are performed
on the left foot.—Nineteenth Century.
shooter's stinging arrows for the amuse-1 that shall throw an atmosphere of ab­
ment of a listening crowd, in the first1 surdity aronnd him and his future ut­
College Societies.
place few ]x-ople are as obtuse as they terances or actions. To monopolize the
Thousands of men and women in the
appear, and mauy a man who has not [ conversation, or to intrude onr jests upon
tho wit to retort, quite comprehends the j other people's serious moods, or to herald United States recall their membership in
hidden gibes and innuendoes and almost j them with one’s own approval, or tc the Greek letter fraternities as one of the
most enjoyable and profitable features of
insnlts the jester is launching at hi» : laugh while one tries to make other? their college life. Longafter the last- traces
seemingly stolid comprehension. I was ' laugh, or to make puns where the taste of memory of the Greek conjugation have
once preaent at a most jiainful sc-ne, of the hearer revolts at that form of hn vanished, after the Odes of Horace and
where the rather deaf, exceedingly com- , mor, or to insist upon being funny when the swinging lines of the Æneid have
monplace and decidedly disagreeable I your hearers prefer to be serious, or tc faded into the irrevocable past; after all
head of a house suddenly remarked to a be indelicate, or to be irreverent of mat­ mathematics but the rule of three has
guest: 'Madam, I have always thought ! ters sacred to your hearers, whether it lapsed into the secret recesses of the mind;
it very ill manners to allnde.'in the pres­ be the holy cats of the Ganges, the “con­ after the finer classifications of the “genus'’
"species” have given place to such
ence of visitors, to family matters from trol’’ of a Spiritualist, the fetich of a and
everyday terms as "mud eat” or “dog
which they are excluded, and I will Theosophist, or those matters once uni­ fennel;’’ after all these and a hundred
therefore mention that when my eons versally regarded as holy, whatever the other once important departments of learn­
use the term ‘rish’ to describe anything thing may lie, if it is a thing held sacred ing have been forgotten, still tho recollec­
especially slow, tiresom-’ and stupid by your auditor, it should be sacred from tions of the fraternity, the jolly meetings
in the old hall, the exclusive picnics and
they mean 'fathcrish.' which is with your wit.
parties, the dinners, cheap but. seasoned
them the synonym of all these qualities.
In fact, it is very easy to tell what is with wit and warm geniality; the solemn
Those young men were very witty fel­ mistaken wit, but I have not undertaker
lows, but I must confess that I have sel­ to tell, nor do I intend to attempt telling, advice to the erring brother, the sitting up
nights with the unfortunate of the num­
dom seen a confessed fool look mort what is real wit. Suffice it to say that, at
ber who fell sick, the anxiety to outdo all
foolish than they then did.
like the poetic afflatus, it is “nascitui rival fraternities in securing good men who
A phase of this dangerous form of wit non fit"— bom, but not manufactured.
entered college, the throb of pride when
is that whereby a bright girl or young
one of "our lioys” won a prize or some
special college honor—these things remaiu
married woman seeks to spark!« in the
as vivid and fresh in the memory r.s though
eyes of certain of her admirers by mak­
commencement day were only yesterday.
ing of others a whetstomi for her satire.
—Indianapolis News.
Thehutt of herridicnl'-. however clever,
however polished her rapier play may­
Improved Smoking Arrangement«.
A Commonplace Buffet.
be, feels each thrust with smarting
Quite a ch; nge appears to be taking
An old fashioned, plain top bureau,
anger, and the bystanders, although place iu the general opinion as to the best
they laugh and applaud, go away whis­ arrangement of smoking room accommo­ without marble or glass, is transform­
pering in each other's ears: “What a dations on some classes of passenger trains, able into a nice looking dresser or buf­
tongue! I'm glad she’s not my wife!” and it is quite possible that the common fet. A set of book shelves, the soTt with
And to my mind more girls have failed smoking car will lie fore long cease to form carved endsandshelves strongly screwed
of the better class of trains. Quite on them and the back, may be placed on
to attract the men whose admiration they a a part
number of railroads have constructed
wished through their wit than through their chair cars with smoking rooms of top of tlie bureau, whose plainness they
their stupidity. A man’s ideal woman— sufficient capacity to provide accommoda- will set off. The space in front of the
that is, the ideal woman for a wife—is. I | ttons for the occupants of each car. The shelves is to be covered with an em­
fancy, never very witty, and in fact may­ practice of thus furnishing a smoking room broidered buffet scarf or a damask
be decidedly stupid, but invariably she for each car is rapidly extending to the towel. Place on the shelves any odd or
must be amiable, smiling, sweet, patient, 'ommon day coaclies, and a number of very colored pieces of dhina or glass, and the
roads are nutting a smoking whole will be no mean addition to a din­
and in a word comfortable, and those prominent
compartment in nearly every car.—New ing room.
qualities seldom exist with wit.
York Commercial Advertiser.
Another mistaken form of wit is the
The time to be occupied by a dinner n.vs
irrepressible, and this is more often
Signor Crispi, the Italian prime minister, gradually been curtailed to such a point of
found among men than women, Who is a man of 70, tall, thin and surprisingly brevity that in France fashion is returning
doesnot know him. usually middle aged, active for one of his years. He laughs in­ to a more leisurely service of the meal.
often a bachelor, but sometimes the cessantly. IJi< mouth is largo, his eyes ar© Diners complain that courses follow so
product of a course of female adulation piercing aud he is completely bald. He quickly on each other that there is oppor­
yimmiatared by wife, mother and sisters; wears jeweled rings on every finger and tunity neither for appreciation of the food
nox for conversation.
L.jnjerafc -;.->rcifli 'SUch a person as this his shirt studs are diamonds.
CALVES FOR FIFTY CENTS APIECE.’
CULTIVATION OF THE OYSTER.
They Make Bob Veal, and Hie Industry
How the Crop in Long Island Sound Is !
Thrlvcs In the Catskills.
Regularly Planted and Dug.
Science is about to-apply its attention to
the propagation of oysters in order that
every one may be able to buy as many of
the succulent bivalves as he wants to eat
without extravagance.
At present the supply of oysters is but a
fraction of the demand. What the fish
commission desires to accomplish is to
bring the mollusk within the reach of all.
To accomplish this cud it proposes^ es­
tablish at least one station devoted to
breeding oysters by methods newly in­
vented.
The young oysters thus obtained, called
“spat,” are to be planted in all the oyster
producing waters of the United States. Up
north, on the Connecticut shore of Long
Island sound, and in the rivers and estu­
aries of New York state, the fishermen are
most anxious to be assisted in this way;
down south a widespread desire is felt to
make use of fresh scientific discoveries for
the purpose of creating a new industry. It
is only in Maryland that an entire apathy
seems to be felt on the subject, and the
oyster beds of the Chesapeake are being
permitted to go to ruin, simply because
the state does not think them worth keep­
ing up. Within a few years, if things con­
tinue to go on as they do now, the Chesa­
peake will have ceased to lie an oyster
ground. At all event, so the fish comntis.-
sion says.
The French people were the first to in­
troduce oyster culture upon a commercial
basis, and in this country the state of Con­
necticut led the way in taking it up. Ten
years ago a law was passed there directing
the state to sell, as if it were so much real
estate divided into lots, the bottom of
Long Island sound outside of the natural
oyster beds near shore. Since that time
oyster farming has become n large indus­
try in Connecticut.
Oyster beds for many miles out into the
sound are cultivated, just as potato fields
might be, and with great profit to tb< ¡e
who pay proper attention to the work.
Such beds arc not usually self sustaining,
e? are the natural ones inshore, but by
planting them each year with young oys­
ters they are made to produce several hun­
dredfold. The production of young oysters
for planting in this way has grown to be
an important part of the business, and the
planting of them lias been reduced to a
most scientific basis.
To begin with, in making a new oyster
ground, a basis is established by covering
the bottom over the area to be planted with
a material called "cnltch.” This cultch is
usually composed chiefly of oyster and
clam shells or any stuff of that sort. Thin
shells of whatever description that may be
most readily obtainable are desirable for
the purpose, inasmuch as they Boon rot
and fall to pieces, thus distributing the in­
dividual oysters attached to them. It is
important, that the young oysters should
be distributed as much as possible, because
when a lot of them attach themselves to a
single permanent object, like a small rock,
they overgrow one another and aggregate
themselves into a mass less useful commer­
cially, while their growth is itself impeded
incidentally. A kind of limestone called
“bluestone,” from the Hudson, is found
very useful for this purpose, smashed up I
into about the size employed for macada­
mizing roads.
Having in this way prepared the bottom
for what is to lie an oyster bed you must
next procure your oysters. Yon can buy
them of dredgers, who sell them to you in
the shape of old shells and all sorts of such
truck scooped up from below, which is
found to lie incrusted with young oysters
of various ages. From thirty cents to fifty
cents a bushel is charged for this material
in the crude, and you simply throw it into
the water aud let the oysters do the rest.
As the shells decay they will distribute
themselves, aud soon yon will have an
oyster bed of your own. Each year you
dump in as many more bushels of young
oysters as may lie necessary to recruit the
supply and your crop is as sure as any
other, so Jong as you take care to keep
away the enemies which may nttack it. If
you know liow to manage the thing you
will lave n number of beds, permitting
the occupants of some to grow big while
you fi-edge in others.—Washington Star.
They are selling calves for a half dollar
apiece up in the Catskills. One night a
number of farmers met around the store
in the office of a Greene county hotel to
talk the matter over. They seemed to
think that a half dollar was a fair price
for the calves, inasmuch as the meat these
very young liovincs afford is a questionable
article of diet. Tt Is ordinarily called "bob
veal.”
One farmer said that a neighbor of his
was making a great deal of money buying
these calves from the farmers. He sends
a wagon over a wide extent of country,
buying all the new born calves, which the
farmers are anxious to get rid of, becauso
they say it pays them better to dispose of
the calves arid to sell the milk which the
calves would require to make them good
veal; so the dealer buys the calves at 50
cents apiece when he takes them from the
farmer’s barn yard, and sometimes he
pays 75 cents or it when they are delivered
at his own premises. He kills and skins
the little animals, fortheir hides are worth
a trifle, and sends the dressed carcasses by
the hundreds to New York, where, in
spite of the prohibition against bob veal,
they are sold in great numbers.
It happened that evening that a New
York commission man sat with the farm­
ers in the hotel office. His business in the
Catskills seemed to be to stimulate the bob
veal industry, and he tried to persuade one
old fellow to go into the business of col­
lecting the calves, telling him that there
was really a good deal of money in it. Ac­
cording to his story very little money is
made from one of these calves unless it
weighs, dressed, about sixty pounds. A
calf weighing from forty to fifty pounds
brings only two or two and one-half cents
iu the market, while a large calf is often
sold for several times that amount as good
veal, and the purchaser therefore reaps a
large profit.
The fanners were curious to know what
was done with this sort of meat, which the
New York health board prohibits. “Well,”
said the commission man, “If you come
down to New York you are likely to cat
bob veal without knowing it. You step
into a saloon and find on the sideboard
some chicken salad that looks appetizing.
The chicken in this salad nine times in
ten is bob veal from Orange, Greene or
Herkimer county, or some other cattle
producing region. A good deal of canned
chicken does not contain an ounce of
chicken, bob veal being made to do noble
service as a substitute.
“The great public does not seem to know
the difference. Bob veal, however, flour
ishes chiefly on free lunch counters and on
excursion steamboats, though butchers
both in New York and Brooklyn are known
to palm it off as good, honest veal. There
is a demand for every bit that comes to
New York, and though once iu a while a
load of it is confiscated by the health au­
thorities, the most of it enters into the
consumption of the two big cities.”
Some of t he farmers present did not seem
to regard it as exactly a legitimate busi­
ness, but every one of them said that if
they had any calves to get rid of the dealer
in bob veal was welcome to them at from
50 cents to $1 a head.—New York Suu
Not a Pressing Creditor.
Dr. T. M, S. Kenney tells this story of
foreign mission collection experience:
“I was preaching,” said he, “iu a certain
section of the country, and after the close
of the service a dear good lirot her invited
me home to dinner. If I had known what
I afterward knew I think probably I should
not have gone. I had talked for a collec­
tion for the purpose of missions, and as we
were driving to the brother s home he said
to me;
“ ‘Brother Kenney, did you notice that I
did not give anything this morning?’
“ ‘No,’ said I. ‘I never notice win give
and who do not.’
“‘Well, I didn't,’ continued he: ‘I
couldn't afford it. I'm too much in debt,
but when I get rid of these troublesome
demands I'll give something to the work
of the Lord.’
“ ‘But,’ said I again, 'don’t you owe the
Lord something?'
“ ‘Well, I don't know; I suppose I do. I
never thought of it before in that light.’
“ 'I'm glad you see it now in a different
light,’ I ventured to remark, encouraging­
ly. The dear brother hastened to add,
however:
“ ‘The I .ord don't crowd me as the others
do.’ ’’—Kansas City Journal.
South Carolina's Redbones.
There are a singular race of people in
South Carolina called the Redbones. Their
origin is unknown. They resemble in ap-
pearauce the gypsies, but iu complexion
they are red. They have accumulated con­
siderable property and are industrious and
peaceable. They live in small settlements
at the foot of the mountains and associate
with none but their own race. They are a
proud and high spirited people. Caste is
very strong among them. They enjoy life,
visit the watering places and mountain
resorts, but eat by themselves and keep by
themselves.
When the war broke out several of them
enlisted in the Hampton legion, and when
the legion reached Virginia there was a
great outcry among the Virginians and
the troops from other states because we
had enlisted negroes. They did not resem­
ble the African in the least, except in cases
where Africans had amalgamated with In­
dians. This intermixture, which is com­
mon in the Carolinas, produces marvel­
ous results. It takes the kink out of the
hair of the African, straightens his feat­
ures and improves him in every way ex­
cept in temper.—Interview with Senator
11 am pt on»—_______________
Necklaces of Savages.
Uncle Sam has a vast collection of the
jewels of savages. He has silverware made
by the Indians of Arizona, carved orna­
ments from Alaska and great bracelets
and anklets of gold, silver and brass from
Iudia. One of the most curious necklaces
iu his collection is one of human fingers
which the medicine men of some of tho In­
dian tribes wear, and one is made of sixty­
seven human teeth, with holes pierced at
their roots to string them. This necklace
is ten inches long and a number of tho
teeth evidently need filling. It came from
the Fiji Islands and was found there in 1840.
Another necklace is made of human hair,
into which the tusk of the walrus was
woven. It is about two inches thick and t
twenty inches loDg. Anotherscrage neck­
lace is one of human and dog teeth com­
bined, and there are necklaces of stone, of
gold, silver, copper and brass, of all shapes
and sizes, gathered from all parts of tho
world. Pittsburg Dispatch.
Turkey's Government.
Briefly stated, the government of Turkey
consists of the sultan, who is supreme and
absolute in theory, if not entirely in prac­
tice. The legislative functions are per­
formed by two bodies, one the council of
ministers, which consists of the respective
ministers of state, such as the minister of
foreign affairs, the minister of the interior,
the minister of public instruction, the
minister of war, of the navy, etc., and the
sheik ul Islam, who is head of the religious
orders. The council of ministers is pre­
sided over by the grand vizier, the highest
official in the empire. The council of state
consists of some thirty members, compris­
ing the leading men of the empire. Every
law has to be passed by both these bodies,
and then receive the sanction—styled the
irade—of the sultan.—New York Herald.
A Feat That "Beats Sword Swallowing.
An old colored man about “5 years old,
calling himself Uncle I)lck, created a sen­
sation in this town Monday with a mag­
nificent rattlesnake four feet long, having
nine rattles. Uncle Dick, the “snake
charmer,” surrounded by a crowd of Wash
ingtoniaus, took a glass of cold water,
swallowed it, rolled up his sleeves, made
several cabalistic signs, and finally plung­
ing his right hand into a sack in his basket
brought out, to the amazement of the spec­
tators, a monstrous rattlesnake. The rep­
tile slowly coiled himself around the neck
aud arm of the old man, while its head
grazed the white beard of Uncle Dick, who
in return was caressing with gentleness the
reptile and talking to it as if it were a
baby.
After handling the snake for twenty
minutes the old man announced that he
was going to swallow part of the reptile.
At that moment the crowd surveyed all
the surrounding doors, so ns to be sure of
making a successful “break if it should
be necessary. Uncle Dick seized the snake
by the neck, made more mysterious signs,
took a firm attitude, with his eyes riveted
on the serpent’s eyes to fascinate it, and
all of a sudden he swallowed the snake by
the head to about a length of twelve or
fourteen inches in his stomach, and quickly
brought it out. The spectators expressed
freely their astonishment.
Uncle Dick, proud of such an ovation,
raised himself, stretched his old body, and
waving his right hand like an orator, said:
“Gentlemen, 1 am the master of all‘in­
sects,’ aud can make anyone of you gentle­
men handle that snake just like me.” We
will quickly say that Uncle Dick’s propo­
sition was not accepted. He opened with
bis fingers the reptile’s jaw’ and showed
the fangs to the astonished spectators.
Uncle Dick says ho can pick up the wild­
est rattlesnake or any other “insect” in the
woods as easily as he would a spring
chicken.—Washington (La.) Advance.
BURIED ALIVE FOR A YEAR.
j
A writer on East India jugglery tells
us of tbc wonderful trick of having the
baby fall down from the clouds, con­
taining his remarkable narrative on the
wonders of Oriental legerdemain says:
It is impossible to fathom their secrets
of working apparent miracles. These
fellows have very scanty clothing and
apparently no apparatus whatever. I
have seen a man throw a number of
balls into the air, each numbered from
one upwards.
Is. As each went up »nd
there was no deception about their go­
ing up, it was seen clearly in the air
getting smaller till it disappeared from
view altogether. When they were all
up, twenty or more, the operator would
politely ask you which ball you wanted
to see, and then would shout out at the
top of his voice, ‘number one!’ ‘num­
ber seven!’ ‘number fifteen,’ and so on,
as instructed by the spectators, when
the ball demanded would fall violently
at his feet as though coming from a
great height. I don’t know of any
American, English or French sleight-
of-hand performer that could equal
that feat. Then, too it is authenticated
fact that some of these jugglers, on
more than one occasion in recent yeare,
have suffered themselves to be buried
alive, and have been dug out alive and
well after the lapse of a year.
That Hacking Cough can be to quickly
cured by Shiloh's Cure V e guarantee it.
Sold by Howorth and Co.
Au Animal Flower.
ARE SELLING FAST!
It
nil the World there Is but one cure,
Dr. Haines’ Golden Specific.
It can be given in a cup of tea or coffee without
the knowledge of tbo person taking it. effecting a
speedy and permanent cure, whether the patient is a
moderate drinker or an alcoholic wreck. Thousands
of drunkards have been cured who have taken the
Golden Specific in their coffee without their knowl­
edge. and today believe they quit drinking of their
own free will. No harmful effect results from its
administration. Cures guaranteed. Send for cir­
cular and full particulars. Address in confidence,
G ulden S pecific C o ., 185 Race Street, Cincinnati. U.
Brick For Sale!
We have a large quantity of
FIRST CLASS BRICK,
Which we will place on board cars
in Hillsboro for ■
H6.7 5 per 1 ,OOO
Address all orders to
J. S. ADAMS,
Hillsboro, Oregon.
The People’s Market.
l arries the Best Line of Choice Meats in
the City. Game and Fisli in Season. Poul­
try. hides, etc , bought for the highest mar­
ket price anil cash pai<l for same
Your
attention is called to the fact that we al­
ways serve the licst meats to be found.
Your patronage is -elicited.
H. M. BOND.
Is
T7p
EJu.ilc5.izxg'
S ood Lot? will be scarce and Command a Higher Price.
ZBefoxe Too
Sia.37-
Price Range» »50 up. For full particular* apply io
J. I. KNIGHT A CO..
THE INVESTMENT CO..
S!; rk Kt Portland. Or.
> BALNEKOFF a (X)..
M< MionviUc Flouring Milla.
Beal Estate Agents, McMinnville.
PRESTON'S
ANY
HEADACHE
“ While You Wait,"
BUT CURES
NOTHING ELSE.
East and South
THE YAQUINA ROUTE
i
—VIA—
Southern Pacific Route
DRUNKENNESS—LIQUOR HABIT—In
j /. • .
SHASTA LINE,
Express Tyains Leave Portland Daily
—AND—
1XAVK.
I
ARRIVE.
Portland
7.00 p in SanFranciscolO.15 am
San Fran. . 9:00 p m|Portland
9.35 am
Above trains stop only at following sta­
tions north of Roseburg: East Portland,
Oregon Citv, Woodbunn, Salem. Albany,
Tangent, Shedds, Halsey. Harrisburg, Jun­ 225 Miles Shorter—20 hours les«
ction city, Irving, Eugene
OREGON DEVELOPMEN COM
PANY’S STEAMSHIP UNE.
Roseburg Mall Dally.
leave .
arrive
Portland .
Roseburg.
Portland 5:
Albany....... 5:
pm Albany..
a m'Portland
9:
9:
Pullman Bnffet Sleepers.
time than by any other route.
i
8.00 a m> Roseburg... 5:40 p m
6:20 a m| Portland. 4:00 p m
Albany Local, Daily, Except Sunday.
leave
I
ARRIVE
»“First clasa through passenger and freight
line from Portland and all pointe in the Wil
| lamette valley to and from San Francisco.
I
Time Schedule (except Sunday«).
pm Lea re Alban v 12:30 pmlljeavc Yaquina 7 am
a in
“ .'orvalfa 1:08 prn “ Cor vail si 0 35 am
Arr’vYaquina4 :35 pm|ArrivAlbanyll :13aru
O. & C. trains connect at Albany and Cor­
vallis.
The above trains connect at Y aquina with
the Oregon Developement < o’s. Line of Steam­
ships between Yaquina and San Francisco.
N. B.—PssxengerR from Portland and all Wil-
amette Valley Points can make «lose connr«-
tiou with the trains of the Y aquina Born at
Albany or Corvallis, and if destined to Kan
Francisco, should arrange to arrive at Yaquina
Hie evening before date of sailing.
Tourist Sleeping Cars,
For accommodation of second class passen­
gers attached to express trains
WEST SIDE DIVISION
Between Portland and Corvallis.
Mail Train Daily, except Sunday.
LKiVE
ARRIVE
Portland . 7:30 a m McMinn’. 10:U»a in
McMinn’.. 10:10 am Corvallis . 12:10 pm
Corvallis .12:55 p m McMinn'
2:56 p m
McMinn’. .. 2:56 p m Portland . 5 -30 p rn
At Albany and Corvallis connect with
trains of Oregon Pacific.
Express Train Daily, except Sunday
lkave .
__
ARRIVE
Portland. 4:10pm McMnn .. 7 .25 p ru
McMinn’... 5:45 a ni|Portland. 8:90 a m
Sailing Dates.
The Steamer Willamette Valley will sail
FROM YAQUINA.
FROM PAX riAMCItCe
November 1st,
November 9th.
November 20th.
November SOtn.
November 5th,
November 15th,
November 24th.
Passenger and freight rates always tbs low-
oat. For information. apply to
C. C. HOGUE,
Gen’l. Fi t. A Paa«. Agt., Oregon Pacific R. w
Co , (,’orval’is, Oregon.
Through Tickets to all Points
EAST AND SOUTH.
Eurisko Market,
W B WEBSTER
For tickets and full information regard­
ing rates, maps, etc., call on the Company’«
j S HIBBS,
...
Proprietor. agent at McMinnville.
E. P. ROGERS.
Fresh Meats of all kinds constantly on R KOEHLER,
Manager.
Asst. G F. A P Agt
hand. Highest price paid for Butcher's
stock
Administratrix’ Notice.
Titian S treet . M c M ixxvhxi , O r .
NOTICE is hereby given that the under­
JOHN HERBY,
JESSE EDWARDS. signed Kittie Davis has been appointed by
the County Court of the Countv of Yamhiil
State of Oregon, Administratrix of the es­
tate of Jefferson Davis, deceased
Therefore all persons have claims against
said estate are hereby notified and required
Proprietors of The McMinnville
to present the same with proper vouchers
to the undersigned at McMinnville Oregon,
TILE
within six months from the date hereof.
Dated this 20th dav of November, A. D .
TILE
1890.
KITTIE DAVIS.
Situated at the Southwest corner of the
Administratrix of Said Estate
Fair Grounds. All sizes of
F. W. Fenton, Attorney for Estate.
Gen’l. Frt. A P.i«a. Agt., Oregon Derelopmeal
^«tntjpMnery aWnet, Sun Reaneiaco, Cal.
Prom Terminal or Interior Points th»
Edwards & Derby,
is the Line to Take
To all Points East & South
FACTORY í!t¡
It is the DINING CAR ROUTE. It run«
Through VESTIBULEO TRAINS
Every Day in lhe Year to
ST. PAUL AND CHICAGO
First-Class Drain Tile
kept constantly on hand at lowest living
prices
EDWARDS A DERBY,
41-
McMianville, Oregon.
'Ä'
CO nsu MP^1^
It has permanently cured thousands
of cases pronounced by doctors hope­
less. If you have premonitory sytnp-
toms, such as Cough, Difficulty of
Breathing. Ac., don’t delay, but use
PISO’S CURE ron CONSUMPTION
immediately. By Druggists. 25 cents.
DR. ABORN
Composed or ( DiM.ld
( AUS
unsurpassed)
NOTICE is hereby given that the under
signed has been by the County Court of
Yamhill county. Oregon, duly appointed
Administrator of the estate of Jasper N.
Cobb, deceased All persons having claims
against said estate are notified to present
rhe same to me at the office of James Mc­
Cain, in McMinnville, Oregon, within six
months from the date hereof.
Dated this 15th day of November. 18U)
WM M. COBB.
Administrator.
«tuns cents »
fO«MANY
The most speedy, positive and perms
nentcure for Catarrh of the Head, Asthma
and all Throat, Bronchial, Lung. Heart
Stomach, Liver and Kiduey Affections,
Nervous Debility, etc. Consumption, iu
its various stages, permanently cured.
D r . A born ’ s O riginal M ode of T h bat
mknt and his M edicated I nhalations
gives instantaneous relief, builds up and
revitalizes the whole constitution aud
system, thereby prolonging life. Weak,
nervous, debilitated »nd broken-down
constitutions, old aud young, invariably
gain from ten to thirty pounds iu from
thirty to ninety days.
D r . A born ’ s phenomena! skill and mar-
v.-lous cures have created the greatest
,‘onishnieiit on the Pacific Coast and
■ >roi:ghont the American contiueut, dur­
ing the past tweuty-five years. Asthma,
’arrh of the Head, and all Throat, Bron-
i-.ial and Lung trouble instautly relieved,
■ o Ear Diseases and Deafness often cured
rn-nuanently at first consultation. DR.
A born ’ s essay on the ‘ ‘ Curability of Con-
---.’.mption,” aud a treatise on “ Catarrh oi
lhe Head,” »nth evidences of some ex-
traord’nary cures, mailed free. Call or
zd.’.rcss
OR. AB0RN>
TO
I»
EÏ
AVI
>.
PILLMBIIiR IHlMi ROOM SLEEPERS
(Of Latest E<juipnicnt.)
TOl RIST SLEEPIM CARS
Bek t that can he constructed anti in
which arc«»nimodstions are for hol­
ders of First or Second-cptss Tick­
ets. ;in<l
ELEGAKT IIIY COACHES,
A
i
In the County Court of the State of Ore­
gon, for the County of Yamhill.
In the matter of the estate of James A.
Walker, deceased.
To Tiila Walker, George (’, Walker, and
James W, W. Walker, greeting:
In the name of the state of Oregon, you
are hereby cited vnd required to appear in
the County Court of the State of Oregon,
for the County of Yamhill at the court
room thereof, at McMinnville, in the Coun­
ty of Yamhill, on Tuesday, the sixth day
of January, 1891, at ten o’clock in the fore­
noon of that day. then and there to show
cause, if any vou have, why’ the following
described real estate be not sold as prayed
for in the petition of John H. Walker, Ad­
ministrator of said estate, to-wit:
Beginning at the south east corner of the
north half of the south east quarter of
section fifteen (15) in t, 3 s , r. 5 w., of the
Willamette Meridian in Yamhill County,
state of Oregon, running thence north one
hundred and twenty (120) rods; thence
west eighty (80) rods; thence north forty
(40) rods; thence west sixty-four (64)rods;
thence south forty (40) rous; thence tfest
sixteen (16)rods; thence south one hundred
and twenty (120¡rods; thence east one hun­
dred and sixty (160) rods to the place of l>e-
ginning in Yamhill County Oregon,
This Citation to be published in the T el -
phone -R egibter by order of Hon. \Vm
Galloway. Judge of said court. Made at
McMinnville, Oregon. December 2. 1890
Witness the Hon. Wm, Galloway,
Judge of the County Court of the
State of Oregon, for the County of
[ seal ] Yamhill, and the seal of said
Coin t. hereto affixed this 2d day
of Dteember. A. I).. 1890.
A’test;
J W HOBBS. Clerk.
F. W Fenton, Atty for Estate.
FOB THOSE WHO CANNOT POSSIBLY CALL FEB
HO5AI.LY, HOME TREATMENT PLACED WHU-
IN TBE BEACH OF ALL THAT WILL «ITS
INSTANTANEOUS BELIEF AND A
PERMANENT CUBE.
The inhabitants of St. Lucie have lately
discovered a most singular plant. In a
cavern on that island near the sea, an im­
mense basin of brackish water has collect
ed. The waters are as clear as crystal and
reveal millions of varied colored pebbles
on the bottom. Each of these pebbles fur­
nishes a resting place for from two to five
of a most remarkable species of plant—a
plant much more nearlj’ allied to the ani­
mal than to the vegetable kingdom. The
shallow waters around the edge of the
pool look for all the world like well kept
beds of rare and wonderful flowers; all
bright and shining in color, the majority
of them reminding one of the marigold
family, only that the tint is much brighter.
Those seeming flowers, on the approach
of the hand or a stick, retire, like a snail,
out of sight. On examining them closely,
Fourth and Morrlsoa 8ta.» Portias«, Oregss.
the middle of the disk is found to be pro­
vided with four brown filaments, resem­ N ote .— Home treatment, securely packed, sent by
bling spider s leg-, which move arouDd the Express to all parts of the Pacific Coast, for those whs
petals with a brisk, spontaneous motion. »nect possibly call in person.
These filaments have pinchers with which ill IÜVÎTED TO CALL FC« FREE CMSWTATK»
to seize the food upon which this queer
animal plant subsists, the food of the AflVK>RTIQlBD^k M©thm.who with to•xarrWRe.
strange creature being spawn of fish and mil Vfell I IWLIIW th»« psp^.or obtain estimates
marine insects thrown into the pool by the on advertising space when in Chicago, wiil find it on file at
S^^ruLORDiTHOWS.
action of the tides.—St. Louis Republic
(No Change of Cars)
Administratoris Notice.
Citation.
Escorted to Church by the Footman.
A week or more ago of a bright Sunday
morning, while the organ at St. Thomas’
was pealing forth the voluntary and the
people had risen to their responses, a
curious and most wonderful thing hap­
pened. In the middle aisles, just a scat or
two from the front, is one long pew simply
upholstered in dark leather that has for a
year been quite empty, but which bears on
it a silver plate holding a name well known
in-Wall street. The pew’s owner we all
know has made a pile of money. He has
a family consisting of a wife and two
daughters, who for the last year or two
have lived abroad. Often have we won­
dered if when they came back to America
would they gain an entrance to the upper
circles, and much speculation concerning
the pew and its holders has been indulged
in by inattentive worshipers.
Sunday before last curiosity was in one
way satisfied and again whetted anew, for,
as the services began, the double green in­
side doors of the church flew open, there
was a t read of feet and up the way came
first his lordship—the most prosperous
man iu the street—rigged out in London
clothes, a flower in his coat, and followed
by madam, radiant in much rich silk of a
sober tone, «and half leaning on a gold
headed, tortoise shell stick. Behind her
came the daughters, types of English maid­
ens, severely gowned, prim and haughty;
but public astonishment stopped not there,
for in the footsteps of the daughters moved
with stately stride a gigantic footman in
full regimentals, his high nose held well
up and a bag of books on one stout arm.
The family filed into the pew, settled
themselves, the footman unbent, opened
the silk embroidered bag, doled out the
books and noiselessly stepped back and
down to another empty pew, where he
humbly said his prayers. Service over, he
collected his books and charges, marshaled
them out to the street and followed them
three blocks to Fifth avenue, watched the
entire way by an amazed audience of St.
Thomas’ frequenters.—New York Cor.
~
Chicago News.
\ di >rri(
One of Í hr P* M P* F“
BFXl’Tri-b Ufc» k
escapee i «i I B p S b C w
the world, «»or MnliUr*er»
une«i«»*l‘ d. tad to iatndarreu»
Mipcrii'F FO- m !« wetrtb »eviûl KT*
tooxr. l-ElrMAM >n
h lo- a».»:
avabote On’.? th-«* * ho
to us at •aceean make swr- • '
the c lisiwe All
b«-*«'• •
return * t<. «how otir
•
th« --» "b"
and th-*«- ■o>u
rfntilnc <>f lb — idre
-
•hows the an.Kli er-*
’oh
The f»no*ine <nt rives ibe eppeamure ©fit rertu
Continuous Lino connecting with all
lines. afTordiug direct ana unin­
terrupted service.
Pullman Sleeper reMTrationa ran be ««cur­
ed in advance through any Dgcnt of the road
Tlii
’bibdi
To All
•l’l<l ^ fron
p°int*
linuil
rti TirLok
lira» tn in
rirA ‘1,1
England
«nd Europe ran l»e purchased at any ticket
office of this conmanv.
Full information concerning ratea. time
of trains, routes and other details furnished
on application to any agent, or
A D CHARLTON.
Asst General Passenger Agent»
General Office or the Coni|>any. No, 111
First Mt., Cor. Tt ahlngton, I'ortand, Or.
ARE YOU GOING EAST?
H so be sure and call for your ticket«
via the
¡faga it fatetn Mmj<
-THE-
h1
11 is positively the shortest and fin ill
line to Chicago and the east and south and
the only sleeping and dining car through
line to
Ouiaha,
Kama. CII». and nil
Hirer l’olnt.
Missouri
lla niagiiillcent steel track, unturpoaaad
.rain tervlce and elegant dining and
deeping care bat honeatiy earned for It the
title of
rhe Hoyal Route
’¡hers may imitate.but none can surpass it
• >ur motto is "always on time. "
Be sure and ask ticket agents for ticket!
'la this celebrated route and take non»
itws.
_________
■then.
W
H MEAD, _____
O. ▲.
Ko, < Washington street, FortiaiUL Or
ON
THE ONLY TRUE
I IRON
TONIC
Will
RI~41 recnlatetlte
LHer and KMwya and Rm»" th«
Haethul nfw<TT««tb I>r«p«pnte.
Want of Appetite, IndineviUon.
I^tck of btranrth and Tired
Feollnt absolute! yenrad .Bon«e.
tnuactee and narraa racetvn
newforoa. Enliven« the mind
nd aoppliee Brain Power,
a
*
a
Safterlng from complaint*
LADIES rr£i*'H2^rTiiao^
TONIC a saf« and «peedy cum. Give« a etear. b«nl
thy ootnplexion. Frequent attempt« at counterfeit­
ing only add to tho popularity of th« original.
Do not exp«rtm«at-g«t the OaiCtMAL «•« BI»T.
SALE
----- TO------
DENVER
ST PAUL.
ST. LOUIS.
AND ALL POINT*
East. North
South.
A.T----
OT¿-,
GEO. S. TAYLOR’ Ticket Agi
iBMdacho. Bempte Dow and Drum Book!
Xmalted on rooolpt of twoeente In poataga.
F
Dr. HARTER MKDIO1NK CO
K-Lriii la