THE TELEPHONE-REGISTER M c M innville , - O regon : MARTIN & SANDERS WIT AND HUMOR. ‘’Say Sain ! When you proposed to Miss Shekels, did you get down on your knee?” “No’, old man, I couldn’t, she was sitting on them.” “What are Bermuda potatoes?” he asked of a Woodward avenue grocer yesterday. “Why, potatoes from Bermuda, of course.” “Oh, they are! Then Paris green is green from Paris, is it?” 4 | $ Teacher—“It seems you are never able to answer any of my questions. How is this, my little boy?” Little Johnnie—“If I knew the things you asked me, ma’am, dad wouldn’t go to the trouble of send­ ing me here.”— Harper’s Bazar. & I “And how’s business in Detroit?” he asked of a gentleman standing next to him in the lower corridor of the city hall. “1 can’t complain.” “Must be^ood, then?” “I have all I can do.” “In for yourself.” “Yes.” “That’s nice. Mercantile or man­ ufacturing?” “Neither one. Police court judge.” “Shucks!” growled the stranger as he backed off. “Maybe you are laying for me, but you’ll get left. I haven’t got enough to get half tight on.”— Detroit Free Press. “Miss Laura,” began the youth, with a flushed face and a tremor in his voice, “I came this evening to ask you—” “One moment, please, Mr Hank­ inson. Willie, you are making two much noise with those blocks. You’d better take them in the other room.” “To ask you,” resumed the young man, mopping his brow with a trembling land, “if you—” “Willie, take those blocks in­ stantly and go.” “If you tried that new headache remedy you said the other evening you were going to take, and if it did you any good. I am nearly wild with the headache to-night.” “I have forgotten the circum­ stances to which you allude, Mr. Hankinson,” said Miss Kajones, coldly. “Willie, you may remain if you wish.”— Chicago Tribune. *7?^ •;?? s, They have received direct from >♦< the factory a Carload of the Finest ; Buggies and Carriages ever bro’I I into Yamhill Comity. * >♦< >♦< Wife—“John, you will be pleased, I am sure, to hear that Uncle Ru­ fus, who was here this afternoon, thinks our Tommy has decided mu­ sical talent. He has made him a present of a beautiful flageolet. Tommy can already run the scale on—Where are you going, John?” Husband (savagely seizing his hat)—“I am going down town to buv a bicycle for Tommy.”— Chi­ cago Tribune. “Absalom,” called Mrs. Rambo, in a high pitched voice, as her hus­ band came lumbering up the stair­ way at 8 o’clock, a. m., “you have been getting drunk again! This is the second time since yesterday morning I” “Nanshy,” mumbled Mr. Rambo, holding tightly to the balustrade, “you’re unzhust, m’love. A man can’t giddrunk twice in twenty-four hoursh. I’m—I’m still on the ’riginal drunk, Nanshy!”— Chicago Tribune. Willie (regretfully)—“I’d like just awfully to kiss you,Gracie, but I ’sped it wouldn’t do. You know your mamma said you musn’t never kiss the boys.” (iracie—“Yes, that’s what she said. That is, it’s about what she said. I ’member just as well. She says to me, she says: ‘Gracie, don’t you ever let me see you kis­ sin’ the boys.’ Mamma, she’s gone over to gra. Bilby’s.”— Chicago Triinfni. “Mr. President,” observed Col. Halford to Mr. Harrison this morn­ ing, “have vou tried the new puz­ zle?” “What puzzle, Elijah?” inquired the president, gently. “Putting the ‘Pigs in the Pen,’ Mr. President.” A shade came over the president’s face. “No, Elijah,” he said wearily, “I have l>ecn so busy trying to keep the hogs out of office that I haven’t had time for any other puzzle.” vr? THE NOBBI & 3 Êû“ T f >x< of Barouches, C arriages. Phaetons, 1 * t Jump seat rigs, Buggies, Npi-in gl >x< % Wagons, Etc., you ever laid your Si f eyes upon Their brand of bug- .!< gies >♦< - - - - - - - - - - have - - - - - - - _ been well tested in this:| .... climate ami are guaranteed in ev-1 | ery particular. Having purchased | these buggies direct from the facto :ti ry they are prepared to A-A & >♦< c_ I QOUTE YOU BETTER PRIMS Omn have ever >♦< Cellulose is a fibrous substance produced in France by a secret mechanical process from cocoanut husks. When compressed, its spe­ cific gravity is far less than that of cork. It is the lightest solid known and therefore invaluable for life­ belts and life-mattresses, while in large quantities its buoyancy will make a ship non-sinkable. It is used to fill compartments in a ship’s side, and serves to prevent water entering the ship thiough a hole made by a projectile or rock, because the instant the water enters the cellulose is expanded by it to an impenetrable tightness. It does not decay or emit any odor, and has been packed in ship’s compart­ ments without undergoing any change. If a mass of cellulose be penetrated by a projectile, it will not be ignited by the friction.— Hall's Journal of Health. There are now in course of con­ struction in Roseburg at least 15 new buildings, including ten resi­ dences, one warehouse and two ele­ gant brick stores, besides several buildings just completed and nu­ merous others which will be begun soon. She also has a woolen mill ready for operations as soon as the Bpring clip comes in; a building and loan association with a capital stock of $100,000: a water company with a capital of $20,000 and sever­ al other business enterprises, all or­ ganized within the past few months. An Illinois fruit-grower is said to have forwarded the apple produc­ tion of a young orchard very much by planting only 1G feet apart, re­ quiring four times the usual num­ ber of trees. The redundant ones are girdled when large enough to bear; this both checking their growth and hastening fruitfulness, and they give a good return of ex­ tra fine specimens before it becomes necessary to remove them out of the way of the large permanent trees, then only beginning to yield. While waiting at a station in South Carolina one day I was joined by a man who carried an old-fashioned satchel on his should­ er, and who had evidently walked many miles through the mud. He was fully GO years of age, scrawny and homely, and he simply nodded to me and sat down on a bale of cotton. In about ten minutes along came a woman in homespun, fully his age and about as homely. She also had a long walk. She nodded The dairy interests of the United to me and sat down on another cot­ States represent more than $3,000,- ton bale. Not a word was said be­ 000,000. The number of milk cows tween us for about ten minutes. is estimated at 41,000,000, which Then as the whistle of the train give an average milk production of was heard in the distance she said 7,350,000,000 gallons. Four billion to the man: gallons are used for butter, 700,- “Then, Jim, you ar’ gwine off ter 000,000 for cheese, and the balance jine the Mormons?” for general purposes. The annual “I am, Hannah,” he replied. production of butter is 350,000,000 “And you won’t take me?” pounds, and 6,500,000 pounds of “No.” cheese. This immense herd requires “And I’m to lie left?” 100,000,000 acres of pasture land “Yes.” I to support it. ------------ e-w-e------------ “And it won’t do no good to ar­ Harriet Beecher Stowe said to a gufy?” reporter who called on her a few “Not a bit.” days ago: “My life seems like a “Wall, then, good-bye to you.” She started forward with extend­ dream. M v work is «lone and I am ed arm, but passed his hand and enjoying the luxury of perfect rest seized the satchel and flung it and freedom. I can’t remember thirty feet away. Then she grabbed what I real nov-a-dayp. My mind him by the hair and they went off is a blank. But 1 am resolved into the platform in a mud hole togeth­ love. I love everybody, even the er, and as the train moved away dirtiest beggar upon the street.” she was on top and jamming his What a sweet, golden sunset to a head into the old-gold soil and say­ life of good deeds! comments the Chicago Tribune, ing between the jams: “Want to jine the Mormons, do It is claimed that southern Ore­ you ! Want to leave the old wife who’s dun lived with you for forty gon has a Chinaman that stands years! Want to jine—jine—jine— seven feet four inches, in his stock- ine feet, that he is 53 years of age you old rabbit, you!” And fifty passengers gave her and Ly Fung Su is his name. three cheers and a tiger as she got a new hold on his patriarchal ~Chlldren Cry for whiskers.— Detroit Free Press. Pitcher’s Castorla. A report comes by way ot Ger-, many that a novel use of electricity j has been made in India for the prevention of the intrusion of snakes into dwellings. Before all the doors and around the house two wires are laid, connected with an induction apparatus. Should a snake attempt to crawl over the wires he receives a shock of elec­ tricity, which either kills or fright­ ens him into a hasty retreat. THE STANDARD TROTTING STALLIOli. Notice to Stockmen! DICK FLAHERTY, Timber Act »I iiiiv 3, 1S7S. TinilMM* I jiih I, Act «lune 3, IN7K. Notice for Publication. Notice for Publication. 'I li ■ high bred Holstein bull. a RICA, will be L and O ffice at O regon C iiy , ( kept for service at the farm of A. J. Baker, on Oregon,Mar. 8th, 1889. | Sherican road, seven mi’es southwest of Mc­ Notice is hereby given that in compliance Minnville. with the provisions of the act of congress of TERMS, 93.00 TO INSURE. June 3. 1878. entitled “An act for the sa’e of Please call and examine sire and calves. timber lands in the states of California, Oregon, Will Make the Season of 1889, Arica weighs 2400 pounds. Now is v nr time Nevada, and Washington territory,’’ John II to get a $20 calfat weaning time for $3.00 Rankin, of Portland, county of Multnomah, Special rates L>r breeding ot six cows. The state of Oregon, has this day tiled in tlii« office billowing is a letter frem Wm.“Niles, the cele­ his sworn statement No 433; for the purchase brated breeder of fine stock,of Los Angeles, of the s | of ne 4 and lots 1 and 2 of section No. California: 4, in township No. 2 south, range No. 6 west, Mit. W. 1.. G ilson . M c M innville , O regon , and will offer proof to show that the land sought Yamhill County, Oregon. , D ear S ir ;—Ycnr Holstein bull, Arica, with is more valuable for its timber or stone than for three others, were purchased in the East on agricultural purposes, and to estiblish his account of the superior richness of the milk of claim to paid land liefore the Register and Re DESCRIPTION AND PEDIGREE: Since the 1st of January the sum their cows The stock was selected in Hol­ ceiver of this office at Oregon City. Oregon, on FLAHERTY is a chestnut, small strip and Molly): he by Young Morrill. land by an experienced person. The sire of Wednesday, the 5th day of June. 1889. of real-estate transfers at Spokane in DICK face, one white anklo: stands 1G hands high; Dick Flaherty’s dam, Bell Drew, has paced a vour bull is Prince Bismarck, No. 780. I keep He names as witnesses: W s Runyon, W W Falls has somewhat exceeded that weighs 1150 pounds; winner of the 2:40 class at mile in 2:30, by Dodd's Nelson. by John Nelson a brother of your bull for use in my herd. Espey, E Espey and E Griggs, all of Portlind, View Park, Heptember 13, 1888, defeating 187; 2d darn by But terite Id's St. (’¡air; 3d dam March 15, lm Sincerely, W m . R iles . Multnomah county, Oregon. at Portland. And yet real estate City Maiui Knox. Oneco, Oleander and Harvest in dy Blackleg, by Bigget’s Rattler: I th dam by Any and all persoDS claiming adversely the has been quite lively at Portland, three straight heats. This was Diet’s first and Jack Hawkin«, by Boston: Sth dam by Old St, above described lands are requested to file their race, at which time he be made his record Clair. Notice of Appointment of Ad­ claims in this office on or before said 5th day of and they have there many times only of 2:30. Sired by Fearnaught, Jr, Fearnaught, Jr., dam Haldee, by Old Coluin ministratrix. Jnne, 1889. the wealth and population that he by Fearnaught 112, record 2:23H, (winner bus; 2d dam by Harris’ Ilambletonian: 3d dam. W. T. BURNEY, of the $10,000 purse at Buffalo in 18G8, defeat Boston Girl, a celebrated 3-mile troher, ¡¡v Old Spokane Falls possesses. Regis er. Notice is hereby given that Mary Haney, the Marl5-15 ing George Palmer. Col. Maynard, American Abdallah. undersigned, has been, by the county court of Girl, J. J. Bradley, Myron Perry. Victor Hugo Yamhill county, state of Oregon, duly ap­ Children Cry for Notice of Final Settlement. Study this horse’s breeding. Besides being a trotter himself, he comes from pointed administratrix of the partnership es­ tate of John Haucy and R. lfanis, as Harris A trotting ancestry. Pitcher’s Castoria. Haney, both deceased. Notice is hereby given that the undersigned Therefore all p :sons having claims against administrator of the • state of C. W. Tolson, de TERMS: To Insure, Season, S3O- said partnership, or against said partnership ceased, hae filed his final account in the county Trespass Notice. Mares bred by season payable July 1st; mares bred by ins nance payable when num are estate, are hereby notified to present them court of Yamhill county, Oregon, of his adinin- known to be with foal. For further informal ion address: duly verified an ! with proper vouchers to the s tat ion in said estate, ami said court has set CHAS. WOODS, Manager, McMinnville, Oregon. undersigned, at Lafayette, Oregon, within eix All persons are forbidden from hunting TUESDAY, MAY’ 7th, A. I»., 1889, months lioni this 22d day of March. Is89. or fishing on our premises. Any viola­ at the hour of 1 o'clock, p. m., of said day at MJ RY HANEY, tion of this notice will be prosecuted to the the county courtroom at McMinnville, Oregon. March 22-11 Administratrix Aforesaid full extent of the law hb tlio time and place for the hearing of the A C D avis . L. T D avis , same. J p. O wen «, G eo . O wens , Therefore al! persons interested in Raid es If so be sure and call for your tickets Notice of Pinal Settlement. J. B H andley . E. J. O wens , tate are hereby notified aud required to appear via the A J N i : i > on . J ohn R edmond , at said time and place and show cause, it any (). B S kinner , B I-' H artman . Notice is hereby given that the undersigned, there be, why said estate he not finally settled. I’. A. W allace , B F Sp\RKS, executor of the estate of Nancy Moor, deceased, Dated this 22d day of March, 1x89. B ’ L atte B ros . \V (’ H embree , has tiled his final account of his adminiatraticn WM E. DAVIS, J R Lo st ¡ ACRE of said estate in the county court of Yamhill Admini-trator of said Estate. county, Oregon, and said court has fixed F enton e, w hy said es­ MAIL. Multnomah county, Oregon. witnesses of said claimant, and to offer evi­ tate be rot finally settled and said ex cutrix LEAVE LEAVE Any and all persoriH claiming adversely the dence in rebuttal of that submitted by Portland.... 7 I5nm Airlie.......... I 00pm k P. O. Box 20 I', above described lands are requesjed to file their discharged. claimant Dundee....... 9 00 a m Sheridan....... 3 07 p m EDNA S. GREEN, claims in this office on or before said 5th day W T. BURNEY. Lafayette.. . 9 26 a m Lafayette.. 4 15 pm Executrix of raid Estate. NEW HAVEN, C0Z’:7 of June, 1 n : s : i . (April 19-16) w Register. F enton A F enton , Sheridan... .10 30 a m Dundee . . 4 40 p m W. T. BURNEY, Airlie (ar).. 12 30 p m Portland (ar) 6 30 pm At orneys for Estate March 22 II Marl5-15 Register. For fin ther information apply to the Com- uany’s Agent at Lafayette, or address General Timber I^and, Act June 3, 1H78. office, corner 8econd & Pine Sts , Portland Ogn Administrator's Salt* of lh*al Es­ Notice lot* Publit ati<»n. Record 2:30. Commencing April 1, Ending July 1, AT M'MINNVILLE FAIR GROUNDS. L and office , Oregon City, Or. i March 8, 1889. j Notice is hireby given that in compliance with the provision« of the act of congreee nt June J, 1878, entitled “An act for the sale ot timber lands in the states of California, Oregon Nevada, and Washington territory,” William. W Espey, of Portland, conety of Multnomah, state ot Oregon, has this dav filed in this office hie. sworn Htaiemont No. 4.17, for the purchase oi the sw 4 of seclion No. 4 in township No. I south, rang»» No. 6 west, and will offer proof to show that the land sought is more valuable for its timber or stone lhan for agi{cultural es. and to establish his claim to Mid land before the Register and Receiver of ihi‘ office at Ore gon City. Oregon, on Wednesday the 5th day <»f June. *889. He names as witnesses: W 8 Ranyan, E Ea pey. E Griggs and M F Nessley, all ot Portland. Multnomah county, Oregon. Any and all persons claiming adversely the above described lands are requested to file their claims in this office on or lietore said 5th day ot June, 1889. .. r W. T. BURNEY. Mml'. JU glMer, Timber Land, Act .I iiik * 3, 1H7K. Notire for Publication. I.AXI. orr tcK. Oregon City, Or.. ( March Ktli, HUS. ( Notice i< hereby given that tn compbuic. willi the |>r..viainnw of the lo t of euugrea. of Jutie : i . l-7H,entiile I "All a.t tor ths sale ot tnrilier laiols in the rlatea oK.'ulifoi nla. Orason Nevada and WaebiuKtou territory,” Elmer Ea pey. of Portland, county of Multnomah, alate of Or, han tl.ia day tiled in tliiaoflioe l.ia-woru alate merit No.t.IG.for tlio inirrhnae of the nw 4 of see No. 10 ill towiiHhip No. 2 Hollth. taune No. « west, a d will otter proof to show lliat the land sought is m< re valuable for Its timber or atona than lor agrieithnral pnrjio.ra, and to ratal. Iiali his claim io Raid land before the llegiater and Keceiver of tlita ofticr at Oretron Oily Ore gon, on Wednesday, the 5tli dny of June. 'jH,a He names ua witnesses: W H llnnynn. W W Esp ,v, E Or.Rga and M F Neaaley. all of Port land. Multnomah couniy, Oregon, Any and all persons claiming adversely the h I m . vc described lands are requested to file their claims in this office on or before said 5th day of June, 1889. „ .... W.T. BURNEY. Mail»].) Register. ARE YOU GOING EAST? tap it M tmi Mmy, THE BAR! W Mm w RIFLES Timber I^iml, Act .June 3, IK7M. Notice for Publication. L and offk r at Oregon (’Hy. Or. > March Sih. 18 b 9. ( Notice is hereby given that in compliauo with the provisions of the act of coLgroos ot June 3, I87M, entitled “An act for the sale of timber lands in the states of California; Oregon Nevada and Washington teuitory,” Edward Griggs of Po.ilano, coi>:.ly of Multnomah, ilate <>f Or., has this day fil»d in this office Lh sworn statement No. 435. for the purchase of ths s 4 of nw 4 and lota .3 and 4 of section No 1, in township No. 2 south, range No. L west, aud will offer proof to show that the land sought io mote ulu l»le toi its timber or atmo thau for agricultural purposes, and to establish hia claim to said land before the Register aud Re rei ver of this office at Oregon City. Oregon, on Wednesday, the 5th day of June, 1x8'». lie names as witnesses; W H Ranyan, W W E-pey. E Espey aud M F Stanley all of’ Port land, Multnomah county, Oregon . Anv and all persons claiming adversely the abov • describe»! lands are requested to file tlieii claims in this office on or bef»re said 5th day uf June. 188!». W. T. BURNEY. Mar. 5 15 Register. BALLARD The I loyal Houte Narrow Gange System. Anything Produced Portland & Willamette Valley R y Notice of Final Settlement MARLIN FIRE ARMS CO. I Lyman’s Patent Combination Gun-Sight. SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN tate. ESTABLISHED 1845 Is the oldest and most popular scientific and mechanical paper published and has the largest circulation of any paper of its class in the world. Fully illustrated. Best class of Wood Engrav­ ings. Published weekly. Send for specimen copy. Price |3 a year. Four months’ trial, fl. MUNN A CO., P ublishers . 361 Broadway, N.Y. ARCHITECTS & BUILDERS A Edition of Scientific American, v A great success. Each issue contains colored Xthographic plates of country and city residen­ ces or public buildings. Numerous engraviDga and full plans and specifications for the use of such as contemplate buil ding. Price 12.50 a year, 25 cts. a copy. MUNN & CO., PUBLISHERS. may be secur­ ed by apply, ing to M unn & Co., who _ have had over ■ 40 years’ experience and have made over ■ 100.000 applications for American and For- eign patents. Send for Handbook. Corres­ pondence strictly confidential. TRADE MARKS. In case your mark is not registered in the Pat­ ent Office, apply to MUNN A Co., and procure Immediate protection. Send for Handbook. COPYRIGHTS for books, charts, maps, ttc., quickly procured. Address MUNN & CO., Patent Solicitors. GENERAL OFFICE ; BBOADWAY. N. ¥ ADVERTISERS Notice is hereby given that in pursuance of an order of the county court of Y'amhill 40 Per Cent. «•<.-urdy. Oregon, made anil entered of ree- I Red net io in ord on the 5th day of March, 1889. in the Price. matter of tin* estate of B, C. Westfall, de­ . SEND FOR 70-page Catalogue ceased. the undersigned as aaid »lay. soli on the premises hereinafter descrilied. IDEAL RELOAOIKG TOOLS-2 - * at public auction, to (he highest bidder, all ——--------- ---- ■ > \ ~ the right, title and interest of said B <’. FOR ALL r West fall, deceased, in, of ami to the ti.llow- RIFLES, Pistols ing real premises, to-wit: and Shot Guns. i he oast 1-2 of the southeast °f >*eetion B ebt tn the W ohld . Scnd*'^ < y for Illustrated D< scriptive r v; £- 32, in ! 2 s. r .3 w of Willamette meridian, in Y ’ amhill county, Oregon, being the home­ Circular. r fl Sag stead claim of B. <’. Westfall, in Y'amhill IDEAL Mr G CO , jJfrt ? county, Oregon New Haven, Conn. ’ «ÜII064G i Terms of Sale — Cash in Land. Dea!»-d March 15th, 1889 this paper, or obtain esbrrutes L F. HALL. on advertising space when in Chicago, will find it on {.do a! Administrator of Said Estate. i ,5 »0 49 R-«W> St., | ogn 1 hxt «» x A F exton , |h4Ad«.„ 1HM9, at 2 o’< lock, p. hi . at the court house of «id count,, as the time and place to hear the same Ttierefovv all iw*rsnns interested therein will appear at sai«l time and place and show cause, it ami there be. why said estate |>c not finally a ttle 1. Dated March 22d, 18x9. ( HAS If TAYIXJR. Administrator A for »-said F ektom A F enton , Mar< b O JI Nffit i<<*. P. 8 L and O fhue at (tamo» Crrv, ( Oregon, March I-1b, I mhjj . | ( < mplaint having ‘»eon entered at tbto office by Dennis J. Ryan against AaiHuel M. Nsyoo for abaiidmnng bis Horu» Mead Entry No. 6»Ji», dated July 29. lXNi, m>o*. the n e 4 section 20 t 2 m . r 5 w, in ^ Hfidiill county. Oregon, with a view to Hie cancellation of said entry, the said o n lies are hereby summoned ty appear at Mc­ Minnville. Yamhill county, <»regon, before the clerk of said county on the 3utb day of Auril. I*M9, at 10 o’clock, a. n> . to re frond and furs isli teHtimony concerning said alleged abandon meat, and on LLe testimony tlten submitted a hearing will l»e bail at this Offi«e oufJuuel, 18^9, at 10 O 'lock a m. W. W BURNEY, Mirrh2’:!2 Register,