THE TELEPHONE-REGISTER. McMncnuxi, - O begon : April - ■ - 19, 1889. MARTIN & SANDERS WIT ANI> HUMOR. “What a wonderful painter Ru­ bens was!” remarked Merritt at the art gallery. “Yes,” assented Cora. “It is said of him that he could change a laughing face into a sad one by a single stroke.” “Why,” spoke up little Johnnie in disgust, “my schoolteacher could do that.”— Detroit Free Press. Citizen—“Well, Uncle Rast us, how are you getting along with your job on the Morning Clarion f” Uncle Rastus—“I done lef’ de place, sah, larst week.” “What was the trouble?” “Well, sah, yo’ see I was editin’ de coal department an’ de whole business came about by journalistic amenities. De young man what calls hisself de religious editor shobed me downsta’rs wif a scuttle­ ful of coal, an’ when I picked my­ self up I didn’t know whether I was the |scuttle or the scuttle was me. Dey said dat it wah one ob dese yere journalistic amenities, an’ I jumped de job.”— Texas Siftings. Foreman of composing room (speaking through tube to manag­ ing editor)—“You say you want that article about the woman who killed a bear and three cubs illus­ trated with a cut of the woman?” Managing editor—“Yes, I do.” “What cut shall I use?” “Where is that cut of Lydia Pinkham that we run in the weekly?’ “It is being used in the first form to illustrate that article on Queen Victoria ” “Well, then, run that picture of Harriet Hubbard Ayer for the woman who killed the bears.” “All right, but what are we going to do for cuts for that article about Joseph Chamberlain and his bride?” “Well, supposing that you run that cut of W. L. Douglas that goes with his $3 shoe ad for St. Joseph and that old hand-bill cut of Em­ ma Abbott for his bride.” “All right; and I suppose that the old cut of the new Colorado capitol will do for Sir Joseph’s cas­ tle, won’t it?” “Yes, yes; run anything you can find for the castle. There’s lots of old cuts itighe job room. See if lii" UbiJwUnug -there ~for an article I’m going to send down about the Emperor William and his wife. I guess that old cut we run a few weeks ago of Coquelin and Jane Hading will tio.” “All right, sir, Hading and C'o- quelin goes.”— Detroit Free Press. A woman yesterday stood at the writing desk in the corridor of the postoffice with a pen in her hand and a postal card before her. She was thinking deeply when a man approached with a postal card in his hand, looked in vain for a pen and finally said : “Madam, are you going to use that pen for the next five minutes?” “Yes sir,” she replied. “I am just going to write to my husband.” “And I am just going to write to my wife. Curious coincidence, eh?” “Oh, I don’t know about that. My husband ran away, and I have just got his address and was won­ dering whether I should tell him to stay or come home.” “By George, madam, but how singular! My wife also skipped out, and I was wondering what to say to her. We are in the same boat. Shall we write: ‘Come home, darling,’ or, ‘I never want to see your face again?’ What a cur­ ious coincidence!” “Yes, I think it is,” remarked a woman who came up behind him. “Trying to make a mash, are you ! This is the way you hunt for work, is it! Come home with me or I’ll pull all the hair out of your head and scratch that woman’s eves out I” He went humbly along in tow, and a news-boy who sat on the window-sill looked after the pair and soliloquized: “That’s what I call busting a co­ incidence and catching a liar at the same time. Better write for your darling to return by telegraph, ma’am.”— Detroit Free Press. Jenkinson Wipedunks would not have exchanged situations with the president of the United States, the Prince of Wales or the drum-major of a brass band. Felisty McGinnis had answered “yes” in a voice as soft and gentle as the sigh of music in a dreamless sleep or the murmuring wail of a caressing breeze fronj lethean wat­ ers soothingly fanning the whiskers of Father Time. “Felisty,” he exclaimed raptur­ ously, as his left hand arm disap­ peared from sight with a rapid yet sneaking motion toward the back of the sofa on which they sat, and the fingers of his right hand ap­ peared to be feeling for something in his vest pocket, “you have made me the happiest man in the world.” “And you will forgive my pre­ sumption, darling,” he continued, “if in anticipation of your answer I have ventured to provide myself with—with—a—with—a—” Jenkinson paused in some appar­ ent excitement, and his finger and thumb nervously explored his vest pocket without seeming to find any­ thing. “I—I must have lost it!” he gasped. “Felisty, it was a ring! Ha! Perhaps it is in some other ’>ocket!” " Rising to his feet he thrust a trembling hand into his trousers pocket. There was a hole in that pocket. “Jenkinson,” said Felisty, as she noted with concern his ghastly face, which the light of desperate resolve was breaking, “don’t grieve over it. It will turn up. You are excited. Is there anything I can do to—” “Yes,” exclaimed Jenkinson in a hollow voice, “Felisty, I think I know where that ring is. If you would do me a favor I shall never forget it until the last hour of my Eft; for the love of heaven go and get me a bootjack and leave me to myself for a few moments.”—<’Ai- ^ago Tribune. ARE STILL | They have received direct from j: >♦< the factory a Carload of the Finest | Buggies and Carriages ever bro’t | into Vanihill County. I THE NOBBIEST LOT | of Barouches, Carriages, Phaetons, | Jump seat rigs, Buggies, Spring | Wagons, Etc., you ever laid your eyes upon. Their brand of bug­ gies have been well tested in this climate and are guaranteed in ev­ ery particular. Having purchased these buggies direct from the facto­ ry they are prepared to QUOTE YOU BETTE *i; than have ever before been offer- I e zv 1- 1nr lit- I ! 1. r rm 4 * ’s c 1)n44lr\... . 1 .. »» a by I... Any and all persons claiming adversely the dy U Blackleg, by Biggct Rattler: I I 4 th I. dam Maud Knox. Oneco, Oleander and Harvest in dvr Any and all persons claiming a«lver-ely the above described ¡anda are requested to file üieir abundance of juice to envelop the actually accomplish this feat inside three straight heats. This was Diet’s first and Jack Hawkin«*, by Boston; 5th dam by Old St, above describe«! lands are requested to tile heir claims in this office on or before said 5th dav of the whole organ and you will enjoy of seven minutes. It is undoubtedly only race, at which time he he made his record Clair. Notice of Appointment of Ad­ claims in this office on or before said 5th day of June, 1889. 2:30. Sired by Fearnaught, Jr, Fearnaught, Jr., dam Haldee, by Ohl Col um ministratrix. a pleasure unknown to the vulgar. owing to this nervous haste abnor­ of June, 1889. W. T BURNEY. he by Fearnaught 112, record 2:23H. (winner bus; 2d dam by Harris' Hambletonian: 3d d im. W. 1. BURNEY, | MarlS IS Frogs’ legs, blue points, little neck mally developed in an otherwise of the $10,000 purse at Buffalo in 1868, defeat Boston Girl, a celebrated 3-mile trotter, ign«d March ath, I bay. ( Therefore all prisons having claims against a J min istrator of uM t state of C. W ToteoO, de To Insure, $40; Season, $30. TERMS: fashionable cafes.” night Mr. Barclay felt the approach Notice i< hereby given that in compliaoe. said partnership, or against said partnership ceased, liae filed his final account in the county “That is very well,” said one of of the cold wave and purchased some Mares bred by season payable July 1st; inares bred by insurance payable wli n mares are estate, are hereby notified to present them court of Yamhill county. Oregon, of his adinin- with the pr>.viBioiia of the ar t of cotigrea. of information address: duly verified an ! with proper vouchers to the st at ion in said estate, and said court has set June 3. 1'78, entitle! “An act for the a.l. of the gentlemen, “but how are you of those warm woolen garments known to be with foal. For further CHAS. timber lands ùia, Oregon* timber lauda n n the the elates etatea ofCalifot ofCalifoiuia, Oregon WOODS. Manager. McMinnville, Oregon. undersigned, at Lafayette, Oregon, within 6ix TUESDAY, MAY 7th, A. D., 180, Nevada and Washinot.oti •• Eluier Ea going to get the little rascals? They which stick closer than a brother to Waahiagton torrltnru territory," months from this 22d day of March, 1889. at the hour of 1 o ’ clock, p. in., of said day at pey, of Portland, county of Mnltnoniah; «tate of MJ RY HANEY, are too small to shoot and too sly a cold man’s legs. The same after­ the county courtroom at McMinnville. Oregon, Or, hae tt.ia day tiled iu thia office hi«-worn ata to March 22-11 Administratrix Aforesaid as the tune and place for 1he hearing of the and lively to be caught. ment No.43G,for the purchaae of the iiw 4 ofeec. noon he ordered a box of roses to same. h’o-10 in townaliip No. 2 south, range No. « “Oh, you are mistaken. It is very be sent to his lodgings. Late for If so be sure and call for your tickets Therefore aJ! persons interested in said es »cat. a d will otter proof to «how that the land Notice of Final Settlement. easy to catch ze sparrow. See, how dinner, as usual, he rushed home, via the tate are hereby’ notified and required to appear nought is mi re valuable for Ifa timber or aloiia at said time and place ami show cause, if any Ilian lor agricultural parpoaea, and to eotob- I catch one,” and he made a grab dashed off a pretty note to Miss Í r. Notice is hereby given that the undersigned, there be, why said estate be not finally settled. liah hia claim to «aid land bi 'ore the Itegiater executor of the estate of Nancy Moor, deceased, into the atmosphere, and, sure Leiter, saying, “Wear these this I’ ÎW Dated this 22\\ gull, on Wednesday, the .'¡th day of Jun«. lHuy. enough, got a cock sparrow in his evening for my sake,” and handed of said estate in the county court of Yamhill Administrator of said Estate. lie name« n« witnesses; tv H Ilaliyan. W W BALLARD HUNTING,, county, Oregon, and said cour4 has fixed hand that chattered and pecked the note and the box containing F enton &. F enton , —THE- E«P y, E Grigge and M P Neaaley. all of Port Attorneys for Estate Marell 22-11 land, Mu’lrnmiah county, Oregon, TUESDAY, MAY’ 7th, A. I)., 1889, viciously. Herrmann showed up the woolen goods to his servant, GALLERY-^TARGET RIELES H Any and all persons claiming adversely the at the hour of 1 o’clock in the afternoon cf said the plumpness of the little bird to while the box of roses remained up­ above described lands are requested to file tinir Jay, at the county court loom at McMinnville, The best and simplest claims in this office on or before aaid 5tb day of Administrators Notice. his staring friends, saying: “Now on Mr. Barclay’s table. Oregon, as the time and place for hearing the June, 1889. same. It is positively the shortest and fin Ht my little friend, do not hurt me. The note and box were duly de­ line to Chicago and the east and south and Notice is hereby given that, the nndersigneJ u W.T. BURNEY. Therefore all persons interested in said es­ Ah, you get away,” and the sparrow livered, and upon opening the note the Refteten*. tat ■» are hereby notified and required to appear have been by the county court of Yamhill Mario la only sleeping and dining car through IL MADE. county, Oregon, duly appointed joint adminis ­ at said time and place to show cause, if any escaped and Hew up to a limb, the young girl’s face flushed with line to there be, why said estate be not finally settled trators of the estate of John ( ai lin, late of s i id Tiiubcr l.anil. Act .lune 3, IH7S.. yL Strongest Shooting. where he smoothed his feathers and pleasure as she read: “May I hope Omaha, Kamias City, and all Miaaourl county, deceased. and said executor discharged. River Points. Notice for 1’iiblication. Therefore all person, having c’aims against Dated this 22d day of March, 1889. looked very mad. VX EASIEST WGRKIKC. that you will wear these for my said estate are hereby notified and required to HENRY PETTEBONE MOOR, 1.1 si, orricK at Oregon CHy. Or I Its magnificent steel track, unsurpassed “I will catch annoder,” said Her­ sake?” With eager hands she un­ All sizes from 22 calibre present the s«me with proper vouchers to the Executor of said Estate. March j train service and elegant dining and to 45 calibre. The undersigned at th“ law office of Fenton A Fen- 1 F enton k F enton , mann, and making another grasp, tied the fastenings of the box and sleeping Notire >>< hereby given that in compliant'» cars has honestly earned for it the ton. at McMinnville. Y’ambill county. Oregon, with the proviaioua ol the act of cor.greaa Attorneys lor Estate. March 22 11 All prices from I secured another sparrow, this time lifted the lid—when lo! to her as­ title of within six months from the date hereof. BALLARD .lone 3. 1H7H, entitled "Ait act fur the aale ot ^15.00 up. Dated this 22d dav of March, 1^89. a hen. tunber hind, io the atates of California; Oregou tonished gaze was revealed, not the M artha i : < ari . in , won more 1 Nevada and U'nahington toriitory.” Edward Presently he let her go and said: expected flowers, but a complete The l^oyal ZRoute has Stand without a prizes at Target ’ G. D. ( ARUN, Crigga of Po.'tland, county ot Multnomah .tate l rival for accu- than Administrators Aforesaid. “Now I will try to catch two spar- set of men’s underwear ! Explana­ Others may imitate,but none can surpass it Shooting of Or., baa thi> day filed in thia office hia awora \ racyand killing all other makes F enton . for the purchaae of the a A »X poweron largo re ws at one time,” and making a tions as to the stupidity of the valet Our motto is “always on time ” of rifles put to­ L and O ffice at O regon C ity , I Attorneys for Estate. March 22 11 of nw 4 and lota 3 and 4 of art-lion No. 4, in I nk or small game Oregon, Mar, Sth, 1889. f clutch, took in his hand with two in changing the boxes have proved Be sure and ask ticket agents for tickets gether. towmdiip No. 2 Booth, range No. c. weal ’and Notice is hereby given that in compliance via this celebrated route and take none Our w ill off. I proof to allow that the land eoug'ht ia sparrows in it. with the provisions of the act of congress of of no avail. The winged god has others. W H MEAD, G A Notice of’ Final Settlement. We guarantee ' more ahi hie to, it, timber or at t ne than for June 3,1878, entitled “An act for the sale of As he allowed them to escape he, Hown and the diplomat, disconsolate No. 4 Washington street, Portland. Or. iiftricultural purposes, and to .«tabli.h hia 1888 timber lands in the states of California. Oregon remarked, with an honest smile > and forlorn, has been dropped from Notice ia hereby given that the undersigned t lnini to aaid land before the Kegiaterand Ito Nevada and Washington territory,” Milfold F Our Goods Nessly of Borland, countv of Multnomah, state executrix of ihe estate of James Green, < <•• cei rer of thia office at Oregon City. Oregon, on that would take in a horse-dealer.' the list of guests at the house where EQUAL TO of Oiegou, has this day filed in this office his deased, has filed her final account of her ad Wednesday, the 5th day of June, Ih89. Cata ­ “You see, gentlemen, ze sparrow is i formerly he was made welcome.— He name, aa witneaaes: W H Itanyan, W IV sworn statement No. 434, for the purshase of ministration of said estate in the county court Anything Produced sc 4 of section No. 4, township No. 2 south, of Y’ambill county, Oregon, ami said court lias f-l'ey. E E«pey and M E Neaaley all of Port not a hard bird to catch, eef you I N. Y. Herald. logue the Oregonian Railway. Vd, Line. land, Mnltnonmh county, Oregon. range No. 6 west, and will offer proof to show fixed IN THAT LINE. only knew how to catch him.”— Anv ami all persons claiming adversely th« that the land sought is more valnabe for its is just TUESDAY, MAY 7th, A. I>., IM, abov deacrilied laoda are reqoeated te file theii Portland & Willamette Valley R’y Ask your dealer to show timber or stone than for agricultural purposes, Washington Post. at the bout of 11 o ’ clock in the forenoon of said k out. cluiins in this office on or before aaid Oth dat of and to establish his claim to said land before Prof. Brown-Sequade is reported our rilles. * the Register and Receiver of this office at dra­ day at the county court room at McMinnville, ■lune. 1 >ot9. Until further notice trains will Oregon, as the turn and place for hearing the W. T. BURNEY, gon City. Oregou, on Wednesday, the 5th day Those of us not yet fifty years of to have lately informed the French arrive and depart from Lafayette Illustrated Catalogue sent same. Mar.515 of June, 1889. Register. FREE on application. ra Therefore all persons interested in said es age have probably lived in the most academy of Sciences that, by con­ as follows, to and from Portland. Address lie names as witnesses: W 8 Banyan, W W tate are hereby notified and required to appear Espey. E Espey and E Griggs, all of Portland, important and intellectually pro­ densing the watery vapor coming MAIL. Notice ol Final Settlement and shew cause, if any there lx-, w by NM I>• MARLIN FIRE ARMS CO. I Multnomah county, Oregon. LEAVE LEAVE tate be i ot finally* settled and said executrix gressive period of human history. from the human lungs, he obtained Any and all persons claiming adversely the discharged. Portland... 7 15 am Aiilie............ I GO p m k J*. O. liojc SO i a poisonous liquid capable of pro ­ above describe J lands are requested to file their Within this half-century the follow­ ..olive is hereby given that the nndersigneJ Dundee .... 9 00 a m Sheridan........ 3 (»7 p m EDNA 8. GREEN, claims in this office on or before said 5th day ha« Illi-1 in th« county court of Yamhill county, NEW EAVEN, CONN. Executrix of said Estate. ing inventions and discoveries have ducing almost immediate death. Lafayette... 9 26 a in Lafayette.. 4 15 p m ofJune, 1S89. I Oregon, hia linai uciount an administrator of’ .. .10 30 a m Dundee... . 4 40 pm F enton & F enton , been among the number: Ocean The poison is an alkaloid (organic), Sheridan. W, T. BURNEY, Airlie (ar). .12 30 p m Portland (ar) 6 30 p m Attorneys for Estate March 22-11 ill.;. «Ut« of Mary Old« Taylor, de'-eaned. and Mar 15-15 Register. said court has set steamship, street railways, elevated and not a microbe or series of mic­ For fm ther information apply to the Com­ TUESDAY, MAY Wi, A. D„ 188», railways, telegraph lines, ocean ca­ robes. He injected this liquid pany’s Agent at Lafayette, or address General Lyman’s Patent Combination Cun-Sight. Timber Land, Act.lune 3, IX7K ut 2 o clock, p. m.. at the court henna of aaid* Notice for Publication. bles, telephones, phonograph, pho­ under the skin of a rabbit and the office, corner Second & Pine Sts., PortlandOgn • «unti, h . the time and place to hear Iks same tography, and a score of new meth­ effect was speedily mortal without Therefore all persona interested therein will, convulsions. Dr. Sequard said it appear at nai l time and place and show cause L and O ffice at Oregon City. Or.. • ods of picture-making, aniline col­ Notice is hereby given that in pursuance It and there be. why aaid estate tie not finally March 22,1889 f arttle J. * ors, kerosene oil, electric lights, was fully proved that respired air 40 Per Cent. of an order of the county court of Y’ambill Notice is hereby given that in coiupliance I ! Dated March 22d, 1889. county, Oregon, made and entered of rec­ steam fire-engines, chemical fire-ex­ contains a volatile element far more Reduction iu ord on the 5th day of March. 1889. in the with the provisions of the act of congress of CHAS. H. TAYLOR, 3, 1878. entitled “An act for the sale of I Price. tinguishers, anæ8thetics and pain­ dangerous than the carbonic acid matter of the estate of B, €’. Westfall, de­ June Adininistrator Aforesaid. timber lands in the states of California, | rrXToM < b J. Kva. gainst Hamn«l M. Hare, advertising in American Westfall, deceased, in, of and to the follow­ for its timber or stone than for agricultural for abandoning hit Homeatead Entrv No 5610, motor, electric railway, electric —Boston Journal. RIFLES, Pistols ing real premises, to-wit: purposes, and to establish his claim to said datod July M, lax i, nia,-. the n e 4 aertio. », t and 8hot Cuns. bells, typewriter, cheap postal sys­ The east 1-2 of the southeast % of section lan, at 19 o’clock, a. m.. to re pond and fum- a part. All positive knowledge of IO Spruoe St., Naw York. expense of purchaser. Anv and all persons claiming adversely i h te-timony concerning said alleged abandon ■ flUEDTI^CD C or others,who wish to exarrJn»* the physical constitution of plane­ the above-described lands are requested to rnent.and on the testimony then aubmittod a Dated March 15th, 1889 Send lOcta. for lOO-Page Pamphlet. AU V Lil I lwL«eW this paper, or obtain estimates file their claims in this office on or before hearing will L. F. HALL. had at thia Office on Jnaa 1 . tary and stellar worlds has been at­ Children Cry for on advertising space when in Chicago, will find it on file at said 20th dav of June, 188,s Administrator of Said Estate. 18HJ, at ¡0 o'clock a. in I 45 to 49 Randolph St., tained within this period.— Homi- F entom A F enton . W. T BURNEY, „ ______ W. W BVKNEY, Pitcher’s Castoria. N. W. AYER A SON. ourautburUed aerate. the Advertising Agency of LORDS “HOMAS. Register March Attorneys lor Estate March 15:10 April 5-18 tetie Review. llegMUt Commencing April 1, Ending July ’MINNVILLE GROUNDS, ARE YOU GOING EAST? il» ¡¡'wig: & fcteta Hmy, “«S IB MITE,1 Narrow Ga® Systom. ADVERTISERS TIB . RIFLES