Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Telephone=register. (McMinnville, Or.) 1889-1953 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 4, 1889)
THE TELEPHONE. • • ’* : THE TELEPHONE. PVBLIBIIKli EVERY FRIDAY l>E5l<»cnATiC. MORNING. WEST PUBLICATION OFFICE: O m Di.r North of oor er Third and E Su . McMINNVILLE, OR. SUBSCRIPTION RATES: (IN AUV.NCK.I e y®*!\....... mentila .. k Throe months » •-’ uo 1 so 00 The Great Transcontinental Route. VOL. III. i S, A. YOUNG, M. D. Physician & Surgeon, MCMINNVILLE, OREGON. JANUARY 4. 1889. ’ tit! IG1OUS and educational I 1 SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM Hurta Pacific Railrcii TONSORIAL PARLOR, CIGARS •IBÄEK.I» The only FIRST CLASS BAR ARE YOU GOING EAST? COOK’S HOTEL fago !i Hítate Railway, The St Charles Hotel. The Poyal Route CITY STABLES, < Great English Remedy. ( W. V. PRICE, PATENTS WM. HOLL, YAMHILL COUNTY, One square or less, one insertion.................>1 00 One square, each subsequent insertion.. 50 Not ires of appointment and final settlement 5 00 Other legal ad vertfsesnents. 75 cents for first insertion and 10 cents per square for each sub sequent insertion. Special business notices in business column«, 10 cents per line. Regular business notices, A cents per line. Professional cards. $12 per year. Special rates for large display ‘ ads.’’ TELEPHONE I SOME CURIOUS BIBLES. Colonel Snort Instructs His Assistant How 1 : —Bo of good choer about death, and I M c M inxvill «, - . , ()RI too N to Run the "Clarion." | know this of a truth—that no evil can I’ecullar Nobriquets Applied to Various Editions of the Scriptures. The Texas Press Association recently happen to a good man, either in life or I Office ami residence on 1) street All went on an excursion. Of course, the after death.— Socrates. We have the Breeches Bible, which rails promptly answered day or night. distinguished journalist. Colonel Bill —In France there are 22.313 national is indebted for its strange sobriquet to Snort, of the Crosby County Clarion schools for girls and 37,924 for boys. the translation “Adam and Evo made TÆ’lÆIISriT VILLE ------- VIA THE------- anti Farmers' Vindicator, was one of The first named are conducted by fe- themselves breeches, etc. For this the excursionists. He was obliged to male teaehters and the last by males. I edition, which first appeared 1560 in Cascade Division’ now completed, leave his journal in charge of his as —There is no talent so pernicious as I quarto form, wo are indebted to tho making it the Shortest, Best’ sistant. Johnny Fizzletop. As Johnny eloquence to those who have it not un i English reformers exiled at Geneva; Slaving, Hair Cutting and- - - - is young and flighty Colonel Snort had der command; women, who arc so during the reign of Elizabeth it served and Quickest. to give him copious and minute in liberally gifted by nature in this partic- as the regular family Bible, its popu - - - - Shampaiig Parlors. structions The Dining Car line. Tho Direct Route. how to run the paper. | ular, ought to study the rules o' female larity being mainly duo to tho Calvin- No Delays. Fastest Trains. Low FLEMING, 4 LOGAN, Prop's. “Now, Johnny, I want you to re oratory.— Addison. istic commonts which appeared freely est Rates to Chicago and all member what I tell you, and carry out on the margin. Then wo havo an edi All kinds of fancy hair cutting done in — At one of the colored schools in the points East. Tickets sold the latest and neatest style my instructions to the letter,” said South, the girls learn housekeeping by tion, printed in 1717 at the Clarendon to ail Prominent Points , i being placed four at a time for a month Press, known as the Vinegar Bible, be All kinds of fancy hair dressing and liair Snort dying, a specialty Special attention given throughout the East and Southeast. “ Colonel, you can rely on ne; but , -------- » — —> — in a cottage, where they dive and have cause tho parable of tho Vineyard in Through Pullman Drawing Room Sleep h°7 paying the Pointers on Sat- complete control, unddt'the oversight the title to the twentieth chapter of St. Ladies’ and Childrens’ Work ing Cars I of a matron. They keep strict account Luke is printed “parable of tho Vine I also have for sale a very tine assort u, -.ay' Reservationscan be secured in advance. ment of hair oils, hair tonics, cosmetics, etc • them to" wait until I get of their expenditures, practice econo gar." Matthew’s Biole, printed in London in 1551, was nicknamed the O| I have in connection with my parlor. back. They are used to that sort of my, sweep, cook, wash and iron. • the largest and finest stock of thing.” To Kast Bound Passengers. —Cornell University has made an ad Bug Bible, from the fifth verse of tho Be caeful and do not make a mistake "But I heard the foreman say he had dition to its entomological department ninety-first Psalm being translated, “so but be sure to take tbe to money for a now pair of pants in the shape of a large two-story frame that thou shalt not nede to be afraid for Ever in the city. on Saturday or he would quit.” I structure designed exclusively for any Bugges by nighto.” Tho original JEffTiiiRn S treet M c M innville . O regon . Northern Pacific Railroad. "Well, if he gets ugly you give him breeding and studying insects. Every idea of the word—terror—is still to be And see that your tickets read via in order on some of the advertisers known variety will be secured, andsp - traced in bugbear, bugaboo. The THIS LINE, St Paul or Minneapolis, to M’MINNVILLE NATONAL. who owe us money.” cial attention will be given to the study Wicked Bible was printed in London in avoid changes and serious delays occa “There isn't any clothing store ow of insects destructive to vegetables and 1631, and was so callod from the fact sioned by other routes. that the negation was omitted in cer ing us money." plants. Through Emigrant Sleeping Cars run tain of tho commandments, tho result “No; but Higgins, who has the tin on regular express trains lull length of Transacts a General Ranking business. — "The religious consciousness," says being that the edition was suppressed the line. Berths free. Lowest rates. President,............... J. W. COWLS, shop owes us four dollars in trade.” the Christian World, "is a supreme fact Quickest time. "What good will that do the fore of human nature. Chritianty is tho su and tho printer fined £300 by Arch Vice-president, LEE LOUGHLIN. man?” bishop Laud, the money being, it is General Office Of the Company, No, •* preme form in which the religious con Cashier............... CLARK BRALY. "Give him an order on the tin shop sciousness has been interpreted and said, devoted to the purchase of a sup Washington St., Portland, Oregon. ply of Greek typo for tho use of the ’or n force-pump or something of the Sells exchange on Portland, San find. That will keep him in good hu bodied forth. Therefore if a man is to University of Oxford. The Whig or AD CHARLTON. I obey the grand Shakspearian cannon of Placemaker's Bible obtained its name mor until I get back.” Asst General Passenger Agent. Francisco, and New York. | being true to himself, he will continue from an error occurring in St. Mat "Suppose old Major Smith calls for ■ Christian. Interest allowed on time deposits. thew, v. 9. where "Blossed are tho Office hours from 9 a. m. to 4 p. m the tent?” —“I do wish that I knew what to be Placemakers” is substituted for "peace "He ain't going to call. Show him lieve, ” said an aged woman whose mind Apr. 13 tf makers.” The Treacle Bible has tho the copy of the editorial in my desk. It is headed ‘A Social Earthquake in was all at sea on the subject of religion. passage in Jeremiah, "Is there no balm IN----- Crosbyville—Major Smith Implicated.’ "Read the Bible and believe what it in Gilead?” rendered, "Is there no Tell him if he insists upon the rent you says, and then you will find out what to treacle in Gilead?” and tho Douty, (R. McMinnville, is opened believe,” replied tho friend to whom the C.) version has been described as the If so be sure and call for your tickets will publish it.” via the remark was addressed. Every one Rosin Bible, because tho samo passage Suppose Miss l’egasus calls to see —IN— about publishing her poem on 'Autum needs a religious faith, and this is just has the word rosin instead of treacle. what the Bible gives to those who Many years ago there existed in the nal Reveries?” Stowe library, the Book of Gospels, on -Tell her that if she pays in advance properly use it.—A*. Y. Independent. —THE —Spurgeon thinks that working which the English Kings, down to Ed for seventy-five copies of the paper you Where you will find the best of n will publish it, and for two dollars Christians are seldom tempted. He ward the Sixth, took the coronation more you will mention it favorably as n says that the man that has something to oath, with a huge brazen crucifix, Wines and Liquors, also work of genius in the editorial column. do has less temptation to doubt than which the monarchs kissed on its cover. Imported and Dotnestsc It is positively the shortest and fin Mt tho man who has nothing else to do but Cigars. Everything neat and Clean. line to Chicago and the east and south and Don’t do it under two dollars, Johnny.” to doubt. Heresies in the Christian The binding was of ponderous oak boards an inch or so in thickness, '«<■ the only sleeping and dining car through “ Any thing else? ” T. M. F ields , I’ropr. Church come never from the city mis tened by hugj leather thongs. The line to "Don’t expose the mayor and city Omaha, Kansas? City, and all Missouri council unless they give the city print sionary, never from tho intense evange Printers’ Bible makos David pathetical list, but always from tho gentleman at ly complain that printers in placo of River Points. ing to the Argus."' ease, who takes no actual part in our princes have "persecuted him without "Ain't there anybody I can go for Its magnificent steel track, unsurpassed Sample rooms in connection. a cause.”— Murray's Magazine. train service and elegant dining and while you are gone? I want to have holy war. —God requires of us the same qual- o------ o sleeping cars has honestly earned for it the some fun myself.” title of A SCIENTIFIC FACT. “Go for the Czar of Russia. He ties that men demand in thoso to whom Is now fitted up in first class order. ain ’t likely to subscribe. Let up on they commit great and important in- Accommodations as good as can be teroo‘3. They ask diligence, faithful An Instructive Talk About Oil, Wate> Others may imitate,but none can surpass it Bismarck or old Zweibeer, the saloon ness, loyalty and the highest exercise foun din the city. and Air. keeper on the corner, will take his Our motto is "always on time ” of one's powers to produce the best re- 8. E. MESSINGER, Manager. It is a curious fact that if a drop of oil ad. out” suits. God tests us all, and oftenest is put on a highly polished marble table Be sure ami ask ticket agents for tickets “Any thing else?’’ via this celebrated route and take none "Yes, give Andy Faulkner, of the perhaps when we are least conscious of or a large plate glass that lies horizon others. W H MEAD, O A ' it How can we expect Him to bestow tally, the drop remains in place, spread No. 4 Washington street. Portland, Or. Texas Central, and Gibbs, of the Sun I tho higher places on us when wo have ing very little; but when put on water set route, favorable personal notices. Third Street, between E and F Be sure and say Gibbs is a genial pas not met the demands of the lower?— it spreads instantly many feet around, becoming so thin as to produce the pris senger agent That’s what I always Standard. PITH AND POINT. McMinnville. Oregon. ■ matic colors for a considerables space, call him when I want him to give me a WIT AND WISDOM. —The great trouble with man is not pass to get back home on." an l beyond them so much thinner as a lack of opportunity, it is the need oi t.i be invisible. It would appear that a “i’ll do it.” —“Seek the good of other men,” says First-class accommodations for Ccrnmer a disposition to improve the opportu “And don't forget, if Banker Peter Lord Bacon, “but be not in bondage to natural repulsion takes place as soon as it cial men and general travel. nities he has. touches the water, tirepulsion so strong son returns from New York, to call at as to act upon other bodies swimming Transient stock well cared for. —The great secret of getting on in I tention to him editorially. You might tfceir faces or fancies.” —The silent pressure of the hand is on the surface, as straw, leaves, chips, Everything new and in First-Class Order the world—a secret which few have sling in some poetry—‘Home from a learned—is to know when to speak, Foreign Shore.’ If you don’t do it he often of more vital good than a whole etc., forcing them to recedo every way Patronage respectfully solicited Iff from the drop, ns from a center, leav and especially when to keep still. will order his business card out, and we volume of good counsel. —Wit loses its respect with the good ing a large, clear area. There seems, —Men suppose that their reason has need that ten dollars a year." command overtheir words; still it hap “How about my grub while you are when seen in company with malice, however, to be no repulsion between and to smile at the jest which plants a water and air to keep them from com pens that words in return exercise au gone?" Murray’s Specfic. thority on reason.— Lord Bacon. "Bring out Pete Jackson of the Cros thorn In another’s breast is to become ing in contact with each other. Air in a principal in the mischief.— Sheridan. motion or wind in passing over the Trade Mark. A guaranteed cure for all —Don't say that a man is bow-legged byville Hotel for Congress, and he will nervous diseases, such as weak —Men and women make sad mis smooth surface of water may rub it, as memory, loss of brain power, even if he has that eccentricity of gait. let you have all the meal tickets you takes about their own symptoms—tak it were, upon tho surfaco and hysteria, headache, pain in the Just say that he doesn’t obstruct the need. If ho don't reciprocate, publish back, nervous prostration, view of the scenery when he is walk that item about his uncle being in the ing their vague, uneasy longings, some- rise it in wrinkles, which, if the wakefulness, leucorrhoea, uni times for genius, sometimes for re- wind continues, are the elements of fu Illinois penitentiary.” versal lassitude, seminal weak ing.— Western Plowman. ligion, and, oftener still, for a mighty ture waves. If there be a mutual re “ That ain ’ t ^oing to feed me. ” ness, impotency, and general —Unless a man has trained himself pulsion between the particles of oil, love. loss of power of the generative "Johnny," replied the Colonel, se I Befori Taking» ()rgans, in either sex, caused for his chance, the chance will only verely, "it don’t seem to me that you —“Oh. you swindler, you liavo a and no attraction between oil and wa by indiscretion or over exertion, and which make him ridiculous. A great occa ter, oil dropped on wator will not bo stone inside you! ” as the wasp said ultimately lead to premature Trade Mark, sion is worth to a man exactly what have any talent for journalism.” when he ate into the plum. Few peo held together—it will bo nt liberty to old age,insanity and consump "Yes, but I’ve got to eat.” his antecedents have enabled him to tion $1.00 per box or six ple are more virtuously indignant thnn expand itself. Tho wind blowing over “ You ought to have established a. make of it— William Matthews. boxes for $5.00,sent bv mail on the cheat when ho finds himself out the water thus covered by a film of oil free lunch route long ago. Well, if tho receipt of price, F h 11 particu —Most of tho very rich men of this proprietor of the Crosbyville Hotel re witted.— Quiver. can not easily catch upon it so as to lars in pamphlet, sent free to country were once poor. But unfort fuses to ante up, call attention to tho every applicant. —It is not until a man becomes rich raises tho first wrinkles, but slides over WE GUARANTEE SIX unately their change from one condi Napoleonic mind and massive intellect in money—and mean for the sake of it and leaves it smooth; it moves tho BOXES to cure any case. For tion to another lias been effected very of the proprietor of the American House getting money riches—that ho finds out oil a little, which, being between it and every $•"> 00 order received, weAfter I iking« send six boxes with written guarantee to re largely, in ways that left them little across the way. He sets a pretty fair I how little comfort and pleasure and tho wnter, seems to slide with and pre fund the money if our Specific does not ef sympathy for those of their fellow ■ how few real friends money will bring vent friction. When tho wind blows fect a cure . men who have less of pluck and luck. table.” fresh there aro continually rising on shim. —N. O. Picayune. “ Is that all. Colonel? ” Address all communications to the Bole tho back of every great wave a numlier —“I love you for yourself alone,’ as I| — Jf you have a note outstanding, dis- manufacturers “Remember that if any money comes THE MURRAY MEDICINE CO the blackbird said when he swallowed in you are to freeze on to it. Collect ' count it If you have a bad habit that of smaller ones, which roughen its Kansas City, Mo. the gooseberry. This is the common surface and give the wind hold, as it, all you can, but don't pay bills. You absorbs moral or physical energy, dis- 8old by Rogers & Todd, sole agents place expression of false friends, who, are my agent while I am absent, but ■ count it. When a politician makes the were, to push it with greater force; this 'while they make the utmost use of us you are only an agent to take in, not to {statement that his party hnsamonopoly hold is diminished by preventing tho- even to abuse, profess the most un payoutmoney. Understand?” jlof all wise principles, discount it— production of these smaller waves, and possibly, too, when a wave's surface is bounded admiration of, and regard for |: Western Plowman. "Yes, I understand. What else?” oiled, tho wind in passing over it may us. — Quiver. i — People arc much happier for the “If any bottles of wine from wedding PHOTOGRAPHER. —True economy consists in a proper parties come in, turn ’em over to the f full exercise of their powers in a regu- rather in some degree press it clown, adjustment of time, strength and printers if they show signs of quitting llar and methodical manner. Economy, and contribute to prevent its rising L’p Stairs in Adams' Railding, money. It does again, instead of promoting it. a : Y. not consist solely in work. It will put them in good humor, thrift and beauty can be commanded by saving money; it may consist in spend and make them feel they are identified persistent, patient effort and cleanli- Sun. McMinnville, Oregon i ness. and health and happiness be the ing it. It does not always consist in with the paper.” ?o»itive Cure for Corns. h result— Mrs. M. J. Gorton. saving bread crumbs for bread pud ••I’ll do it." in my dings" which frequently prove to be "There is a ham sandwich .[ —There is a difference between cn- Any number of people —In fact, nearly nothing more than flavored and sweet desk. It’s yours, Johnny.” i) ergy, force and vigor. Energy is con- 1 rusted with the idea of acting, force every one wo meet are troubled with “Thank you. Colonel.” ened poultices. Caveats, and Trade Marks “Don’t forget to feed the bull pup in with that of capability, and vigor with these painful growths. Thousands of —Sometimes it is a positive injury all Patent business conducted for MODr-K; that of health. Energy lies only in dollars worth of “corn cures,” "salves,” ATE FEES OUR OFFICE IS OPPOSI TE to another to respect his prejudices. ihe back yard.” . U.S PATENT OFFICE. We have nosub But, if you must cross them, do so as "Yes, I'll give him that sandwich, ir the mind, while force and vigor are the “plasters,” etc., are annuaily pur agencies, all business direct, hence can property of either body or mind.— chased by victims, who usually find transact patent business in less time and gently as possible. He who has learned he can bite it” such articles to bo of little or no value. "That's right, Johnny. Look on the Hartford Religious Herald. at less cost than those remote from Wash how to combine gentleness and firm A few years ago, a plan of treatment ington. end model, drawing, or photo, ness has mastered one of the greatest humorous sideof life. Good-bye, Joi n- _ Let us remember that in our best (not original with me) camo under my with description. We advise if patentable nv." and Colonel Snort started on a run achievements lie tid the seeds of dan or not free of charge. Our fee not due till lessons of life. He has learned how to observation, which, I find, if perse to catch the train. — Texas Siftings. ger; and beware lest the dethronement patent is secured . ., ... govern and to read. -Morning Star. A book. “How to Obtain Patents, with * ¡of custom to make place for right vered in. will give not only relief but —The greatest efforts of a commu cure. The growth or growths will be references to actual clients in vour State, should displace along with it that prin completely eradicated and this removal As To His Expectations. nitv should be directed, not to relieve county. or town sent free, Address ciple of reverence which bestows a dis indigence, but to dry up its sources, to "To put this business on a cash basis, will be accompanied with but little C. A. SNOW A CO. Opposite Patent Office. Washington. I supply moral wants, to spread purer Mr. Peduncle.” said the father of the cipline absolutely invaluable in the pain. Buy a little liquor potassic at principles and habits, to remove the young lady, "in case you should many ■formation of character. — Wm. E. Glad your druggist’s and keep it well corked temptations to intemperance and sloth, Irene you must have something to live stone. and in a cool plnce. Twice each day | —How many bitter thoughts does the to snatch the child from moral perdi □n. What are your expectations (once upon arising from and upon re Innocent man avoid! Serenity and tiring to bed) dip a piece of soft paper, tion, and to make the man equal t* hi* ••Why. as to that, sir," replied the Proprietor of the cheerfulness are his portion. Hope is rolled into a wad, into this liquid and own support by awakening in him the somewhat embarrassed young man, "I continually pouring its balm into his spirit and the powers of a man.— Lena shouldn’t expect much, of course, nt soul. His heart is at rest, whilst others touch the corn or corns with it. Then a Hand. - - the start, though its kind of yon to ask. are goaded and tortured by the stings with a dull knife gently scrape the sur Mav I inquire the amount of life-insur cf a wounded conscience, the remon- face of the morbid growth a few times. • ♦ • ant you carryr-C*.*”*» Tribune. The leading I' (¡trances and risings up of principles Repeat this procedure as directed dur ing a period of a week or ten days and — The value of coins to collector, jewelry establishment , —h Birmingham man sat in a rcstau- which they can not forget; perpetually the corns will soon have disappeared. ioea not depend on their age. Roman -°F- where another man was eatin. teased by returning temptations, per Caution: Don't allow this liquid to tribute pennies, dated before ChrW. limburger cheese, and it made him -< _ petually lamenting defeated resolutions. touch any part of your skin except the are not worth more than I. Paley. corn itself. American Homa. genuine American •«’*Tdol,ar °f 1’°‘ mad that he hit him with a chair a> d I L pearly h,m- Third Street. McMinnville Or would »ell close to 11.000. Henderson Bros. Props ir RATES OF ADVERTISING. NO. 37 » LULLABY, SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY. Close s’our eye lids, baby, darling. Like soft c ouds o'er skies ot blue! All unseen the holy angels Keep their watch, dear, over you. To bis couch in golden splendor Sinks, at last, the summer sun; While tho twilight, soft and tender, Tells the day is done! Lullaby! sleep and rest. Cradled on this fuitbful breast! Safe from life's storms, tieroe and wild, Sleep and rest, my little child I Slumber! Lullaby 1 Like a oird, that, tired of roaming. Seeks ul eve its downy nest, So my btrdllng. in the gloaming, Sweetly sleeps upon my breast! Off to dream land baby’s going— Slumber's silken sails unfurled— While night winds are softly blowing Oe r the silent world! Lullaby! steep and rest. Cradled ou this faithful breast! Sate from life's storms, tieroe and wild. Sleep and rest, my little child! Slumber! I.ullaby! —Era Heat, in Detroit Erse Press. MRS. CLEVELAND’S RING. The Engagement Circlet Which Was l*re- Bcnted to Iler l>y the President. Mrs. Cleveland’s engagement ring is not, as is generally supposed, the beau tiful diamond which she wears just above her wedding-ring, but is a largo, old-fashioned seal ring, which now adorns the President’s finger. There is quite a little history attached to this ring and the way it camo to be be stowed upon Mrs. Cleveland. A few days before the departure of Mrs. Folsom and Ser daughter for Europe, it will be remembered that the President went on to New York for the purpose of seeing and bidding them good-bye. It was upon this occasion that the President first definitely asked Mrs. Cleveland to become his wife and fixed tho date of their marriage immediately upon her return to this country. Taking from his finger tho seal ring which ho had worn for years, and which had been originally a gift from Mr. Folsom, tho President placed it upon her finger, intending, almost immediately thereafter, to forward her the handsomest diamond that could bo found. This plan Mrs. Cleveland her self ultimately changed, as she decided, it would be less likely to attract atten tion if, during 1 r stay abroad, she wore the old seal ring which had be longed to her dead fat.¡or. On tho day of her marriage, as is well known, Mrs. Cleveland received a magnificent ring and necklace of soli taires from tho President, diumond pins for the hair and breast from Sec retary Whitney and Mrs. Whitney, in addition to numerous other small gifts of a similar nature from others. But, curiously enough, tho first diamond ring which Mrs. Cleveland possessed was a tiny little star of diamonds, which sho wore upon tho little finger of the right hand on the occasion of her marriage. This ring was tho gift of a friend in New York, who had known Mrs. Cleveland from early childhood, and who, hearing her men tion the fact that she had never owned a diamond, sent tho little glittering star from Tiffany’s tho day before he departure for Washington when she came on to be married, This friend was among tho number of those who came on in the same train, and was present al the ceremony.— Washington Letter. AN ALABAMA DIANA. A Young Lady Who Cai» Shoot, Fish, and Drive a Nall. Row, She is ii girl, not a girl of the period, nor a typical girl of tho South, but juHt our own Diana, who can drive like Jehu, ride and shoot like a cowboy, run like a professional, and swim liken duck. Sho will go rowing with noeom- pany but her dog and gun, and she can drop her oars, spring to her feet with her gun, and shoot n marsh hen or gros beak, without rocking the boat, or misplacing the o.irs. Sho sleeps on pillows of down from birds and ducks, killed by her own hand, and expects by next spring to have enough feathers of the same kind to make u feather lied. 1 neglected to mention what, per haps, is more remarkable than her other accomplishments, that she can drive u nail without mashing her fin gers. Once, indeed, Hho drove a nail to good purpose. While studying for a prize at school, sho was taken with a violent toothache. Her mother for bad«) her going to school in such violent pain, and there was no dentist nearer than Mobilo. So, with n sudden re solve, she got a nail, and, holding it against the tooth, she drove it out (or more likely in), with one blow of the hammer; then sho went to school and won tho prize. She has kindly taught me how to row with a good stroke, and how to swim with an inflated pillow case. Now sho would teach me how to shoot. I can make ready and take aim, but when tho time cornea to fire, my fingers lire so occupied with stop ping my ears I can not pull the trigger. Diana knows every cattle mark in tho community. She owns quite a number of sheep and cows, and can tell at a glance if one is missing. At present Diana's most devoted ad mirer is a man who can neither ride, drive, row or swim, shoot a gun or smoko a cigar. This may be the irony of fate, but I suspect it is fate, never theless, for she imagines now that she detests him, and that is usually one of the shadows cast before tho coming event,— Cor. Philadelphia Time». A Successful Starter. Mr. Bump has been calling for nearly two hours. They nro talking music, languidly. The young lady (suddenly brighten ing up)—O, 1 like French opera; it has such a go to it! I like any thing that has go! He goes.—Lt/«. — Cabbage and saw-grass palmetto in the material that a Florida gentleman is desirous of turning into liber. —Cedarwood pulp is now made into paper for undorlaying carpets, wrap ping up wool, etc., and preservative against moths. The wood used is the heretofore wasted chips of the penoil manufactory. —Among tho products which science has put to valuable service is the net tle. a weed which is now even being cultivated in some parts of Europe, its fiber proving useful for a variety of toxtile fabrics. In Dresden a thread is produced from it so fine that a length of sixty miles weighs only 2} pounds. —Sheep are now being successfully sheared by machinery in Australia. The wool mower can be run by either steam or horse power. There íb now very little poetry left in farm opera tions —if there over was any poetry in tile hard work that prematurely wore out the old-time husbandman. Building blocks made of corncobs form the object of a new Italian pat ent. The cobs are pressed by machin ery into forms similar to b-ieks held together by wire. They made water-tight by soaking with These molds are very hard strong. Their weight is loss than one- third of that of a hollow brick, and they can never get damp. —Some physicians have warmly in dorsed the suggestion that “massage,’’ us an employment is peculiarly suited to the capabilities of the blind, in whom the tactile sense is so strongly de veloped. Indeed, in Japan massage has, for a long period of time, been practiced by blind men, who go about the streets with a flageolet, drawing attention to themselves and their occu pation. It is thought that superin tendents of blind-asylums will find this a possible avenue to employment for their pupils. — It has been estimated that an aver age of live feet of water fulls annually over the whole earth. Supposing that condensation takes place nt an average height of 3.0J0 feet, remarks General Straekey, tho force of evaporation to supply such rainfall must equal the lifting of 322,(XI.),000 pounds of water 3,000 feet in every minute, or about 300,0 M>,<) 00,000-horse power constantly exerted. Of this great energy a very small part is transferred to the waters that run back through rivers to tho sea. and a still smaller fraction is util ized by man; the remainder is dissi pated in space. Some curious maritime discoveries show that the ocean teems with life at a depth of more than one thousand fathoms. At. north latitude fifty de grees thirt.v-two seconds, west longi tude twelve degrees two seconds, there were brought from twelve hundred and twenty fathoms a perfectly black fish, with white cyos, specimens of that strange genus of ochinodorin.s, cal- veria, and a few silicious sponges and rare, beautiful cassidoria, tyrhena, and some large and exquisitely colored sea anemones, and also a quantity of car inaria and pteropoda, which were cap tured in surface nets. PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. —It N ii wine child that knows what kind of ii man its own father is when away from home.—-V. O. Picayune. Many men given too literal inter pretation to Scripture maxims. They shun the iippearanee of evil more than they do the evil itself. — Boston Budget. The old bachelor cynic says that there are some leading ladies on tho stage whose chief claim to that title lie in the fact that they lead their hus bands a pretty dance. — N. Y. Tribune. -The latest remedy for snake bites is a wash of carbolic acid solution. There are not so many cases now as when it was fashionable to administer spirit fruinenti by the quart. -••I hope you appreciate the fact, sir, that in marrying my daughter you marry a large-hearted, generous girl.” "I do. sir (with emotion); and 1 hope she inherits those qualities from her father."— Life. “Parson—“I am astonished, sir, to hear a man with three married daughters say that ‘marriage is n failure.’ ” Citizen "Well, sir, when you havo three families beside your own to support you will learn marriage is a positive bankruptcy." Lowell Citi ten. — It is nil right to say that there are us good fish in the sea as ever were caught: but if the fishermen are to bo believed, there are better fish in the sen than over wcro caught. Somehow the finest fish always manage to drop off before they can bo landed.— 1‘uek. -••Gentlemen and fellow-citizens," exclaimed an impassioned omtori “what if nil the European countries should put n tax on our raw materials, what would be the consequence?” "All of our dudes would havo to stay at home,” shouted a voico from the rear of the house. — Georgia Cneher. Fannie—"So you are married, Hattie, and have wealth and possibili ties?" Hattie "Yes, my husband is very rich." Fannie "And you enjoy it all very much?” Hattie “Very much. Indeed.” Fannie—“And your husband?” Hattie—••(), well, you know in this world we havo to take tho bitter with the sweet.”— Washington Critic. - There are two classes of American tourists in Europe who reflect no credit on this country. Tho members of the first class try to give the impression that they belong to the aristocracy, and those who compose the second class act as though the aristocracy be longed to them. Their equivalents in English society are known respectively ss snot» and cn Is