Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Telephone=register. (McMinnville, Or.) 1889-1953 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 28, 1888)
KpUtle. Which Turned the "Old Man’s" Wrath Into Confusion. Some time since I referred to the fact that I had carefully preserved, ar ranged and filed all of Mr. Bowser’s love letters, and 1 advised every bride to do the same thing. I now desire to reiterate that advice. I really don’t know how I could get along with Mr. Bowser if I did not have this leverage on him. Like all other husbands he has his sudden fits and his hours of forgetfulness. He wanted a pair of pincers to use for something, and be cause they were not right at hand he made a gesRire ot despair and ex claimed: “O, of course, I must get used to it, I suppose. Suoh a housekeeper as you are Mrs. Bowser!" ••Here they are. You left ’em on the lounge yourself last night.” “Lay it to me, of course. What’s that young’un bellowing about now?” “He fell down.” “Doesn’t he know enough to stand up? Did the wood come up?" “No.” ••It didn’t.” I ordered It the first thing this morning. This Is the worst run house in Detroit” “Do I run the wood yards?” “But why didn’t yeu tell me it hadn’t come up? It’s a wonder the girl hasn’t quit to climax our troubles.” “She went an hour ago.” Mr. Bowser sat down and looked at me a long time. Then he sighed deep ly and said: “Well, I suppose I must stand it, but It’s hard, very hard. This is what oomes of marrying a girl who has been brought up on caramels and novels.” I went up-stairs and brought down the package of letters. Selecting one marked: "Exhibit A—filed September 10, 1884,” I began to rend: “M t AHO». OHB: I send you another box of caramels and five of the latest novels, and I hope you will thoroughly enjoy them. You were lamenting the fact that you knew so little of housework. I am glad of it. Angels are not exported to fry pork and wash dishes. You shall have a dozen housekeepers when we uro married, and jou shall never know a household care.” “That’s a base forgery!” shouted Mr. Bowser as I finished reading. “Oh, no, it isn't. I expected the day would come when you would say so and so I prepared for it. See here: My mother attests it as a witness.” “Well, If I wrote it I must havo been asleep.” “And only the other day, Mr. Bow ser, when I got a new dress home, you said I hadn’t any more taste than a clam, and that my ideas of harmony would stop a clock.” “Yes, and I meant it. You were always that way.” "Was IP” I selected a letter marked "Exhibit A—2—filed September 18, 1884," and read: “M y B eautiful : The picture of my dear »ne as she appeared to me last night has been with me all day. You have the taste of a queen In your toilet, and harmony is second nature with you. OhI my little angel, you—“ base forgeries, of course, and you aro holding them over me :u> u menace. Is that wifely?” “Why, Mr. Bowser, <1o you deny your own hand-writing?” “I haven’t seen tho writing and don’t want Io. Don’t threaten me, Mrs. Bowser. I can be coaxed, but not driven. Cases have been known whore husbands Walked out and never returned.” But that was only his way of wrig gling out of it. The next day he sent me up a new dress, took baby for a long walk, and at present is tho most docile husband in Detroit.— Detroit Free Press. TOQUES AND TURBANS. The Various Styles in Which They Are Made by Faultionabte Milliners. Toques, turbans and walking hats are made in various styles for young ladies to use for general wear, and are adopted for morning hats by those who are older. Paris milliners aro send ing over round toques in contrast to the long oval-crowned toques import ed from Regent street, which English women u.’ fashion adopted at first merely to wear with tailor gowns, but which they aro now using with their handsomest costumes. The round French toques aro made ot velvet or of cloth in tlireo soft puffs around the hoad, separated by folded bands of gros grain ribbon, and have a soft wrinkled crown which is covered and flattened on the right side by a very large rosette of the ribbon, with its longest loops coming forward almost to the front. This style is youthful, and is excellent for hats of a single color, the velvet and ribbon being all brown or all black or gray, as best suits the gowns of the wearer, a black toque being now appropriate with dresses of any color. Other velvet toques have fur tips for their only trimming, as short tails of sable with a miniature sable head set in the front of tho soft crown. Rib bon toques are also new, and are in the long English shape: two kinds of ribbon -ire used, velvet in one row draped along the brim, and ending in two rosettes in front, while the crown is covored with three lengthwise rows in looso folds of the new satin ribbon that has raised cords in it, or else gros grain ribbon; these form standing loops in front between the velvet rosottes. Black velvet ribbon with a green ribbon crown makos'a stylish toque, or cream 'Velvet with fawn robbon crown, brown with cardi nal, or olive with red, matching the two colors that aro combined in the costume. The handkerchief turban is a pretty caprice, with tho crown draped with a square of black velvet on which white gros grain is set like a hem or binding half an inch or more in width. Rosette turbans have soft rosettes of doubled silk thickly gath ered sot in front of shirred yelvet crowns. Other volvot turbans have a frill fulling on the lower edge, with a gathered band, and above this a soft puffed crown. Embroidered cloth tur bans may bo merely scalloped on the odgos, but many are covered with em broidery. Thore are also very rich embroidered clotli leaves and bands that are used to trim the sides of vel vet and plain cloth turbans. Braiding and cording aro also fashionable on theso small lmts. Long slender oxi dized silver pins, daggers, and clasps aro fashionable ornaments. Ribbon bows uro very tightly strapped with long loops, and tlicso rival rosettes in popularity.— Harper's Bazar. “I wrote that, did IP” sternly de manded Mr. Bowser. “Of course." “Never! Tho man who say» I was ever fool enough to write such stuff must die!” "It is duly attestod, Mr. Bowser, and you can’t deny your writing. I haven't ohangod a bit In my tastes since our marrlnge. Indeed, I think I have Improved.” “There goes that young 'un again! He Isn’t happy unless he Is bellering like a calf mired in a ditch.” “But see here, Mr. Bowser.” Fish That Annoy the Diver. And I selected a telegram marked: “Exhibit B—1—original,” and attested As to the fish the divor sees, they by father, mother and nurse, nnd read: are legion. They swarm all around “C hicaoo , November »oth. >887.— Mi/ Darting: him. Hideous sculpins peer into his Thank Ood for the news ot the birth of our eye-windows and gpin horribly, and sen: My heart swells with love anti gratitude. It is our bond ot lovo. Heaven has surely 'snake-like eels glide over his feet and blest ns. Again, thank Qod. Will bo home squirm round his legs, and crabs and Bunday night. Bowser." “I never sent It," shouted Mr. How- lobsters clnw at his clothing and make themselves familiar in a cordial man •er. “Yes, you did! Here Is the proof ner that would make anyone except a to convict you. There isn’t a mention stoical diver go out of the water. But about ’calf in this, and ns for ‘holler it’s tho simple, every-day porch, the little fish that the boys catch at the ing, you never dreamed of it.” “Oh, well, have it your own way. wharves that Itothsr tho divers the You’d have the last word If I was most. They seem to think his fingors dying. Some wives are built that are bait, prepared by au overruling way. If I was like some husbands I'd providence for there special appetite, and accordingly they nibble and gnaw assert my authority.” "But you aro not, Mr. Bowser, as tho bare flesh with tho same persist ency that they employ in devouring this will prove." And I selected a letter marked: "Ex anglo-worms sent down on fish-hooks. hibit C—1—original,” and attested, You see, it’s not fashionable among divers to wear gloves when diving in and read: warm water. Gloves would greatly “M t D bakkst L ovbv : In reference to our decrease the delicacy of touch with conversation last night, I wish to say that I have always held and always shall hold that which the diver examines the slimy husband and wife should be equal In authority. pile in search of worms.— Philadelphia Neither has the right to dictate to the other, Inquirer. though It either had that tight I would give It to you. We shall never have a word ot dispute —not one. If there is any 'bossing' you muy to IV' “And do you dare chargo mo with writing such stuff as that!” gasped Mr. Bowser. “I do. Here is the proof, and you can't wriggle out of It.” "I wrote ’Dearest Lovey,' did IP” “You did. Indeed, Mr. Bowser, you were far gone about those days." “I was, oh! Well, you can’t mako me believe that I ever wroto any tuch Infernal bosh as that! You'll next •barge me with writing you up in verse." “Yon even did that. sir. Just wait.” I selected a letter marked: “Exhibit C—l-»-very choice.” and read: "Tbs twilight softly cometh down. As sinks the tun away, And lltUo children go to bed. All weary with their play. Where Is my love this glorious eve! Where doth her proud foot rest! And where that head of golden hair Which I shall evsr bless!" “And you say I wrote that!” whis pered Mr. Bowser. “You did. It's a beautiful thing, too. I can see those little children going right to bed. You spoke of mjr •hoofs’ the other day, and you had a slur »bout red-head! Only four years ago It wm my 'proud foot' and my 'golden head.’” He wm silent “Do you want any more, Mr. Bowser?” I asked. “Mrs. Bowser, I don't say that you are not as good aa tho average wife, but I do say that you have a mighty MM streak in your composition. It be possible that while I lay burn- wlth fever, or while suffering a I attack, I may have written a of those letters. The rest are Queer Analogies in Nature. The coconnut is, in many respects, Uko tho human skull, although it closely resembles the skull of the monkey, A sponge may bo so held as to remind one of tho unfleshed face of the skeleton, nnd the ment of an Eng lish walnut is almost tho exact repre sentation of tho brain, l’lums and black cherries resemble] the human eyes; alinonds ami some othor nuts re semble tho different varieties of tho human nose, nnd an opened oyster and its shell are a perfect imago of the hu man oar. Tho shape of almost any man’s body may bo found in the vari ous kinds of mammoth pumpkins. □10 open hand may bo discerned in the form assumed by scrub-willows and growing celery. The German tur nip and tho egg-plant resemblo tho hu man heart. There are othor striking resemblances between human organs The and certain vegetable forms. formsof many mechanical contrivances in common uso may be traced back 'o the patterns furnished by nature. Thus, tho hog suggested tho plow; the butterfly, the ordinary hinge; the toad-stool, tho umbrella; the duck, the •hip; the fungous growth on trees, the bracket. Any eno desirous of proving the oneness of the earthly system will Hud the resemblances in nature a most amusing study.— Scientific American. I POLITICAL PRISONERS. Bow Irish MationaUeta Are Abused in K m glish Fen al Institutions. I A VALUABLE MKD1CAL TREATISE. The edition for 18W of the sterling Medical Annual, known a« Hostetter’s Almauac, ia now ready, and may be obtained, free of coat, of druggists and general country dealers in all parts of the United States, Mexico, and indeed in every civilized portion of the Western Hemi sphere. The Almanac has been issued regularly at the commencement of every vear for over one-fourth of a century. It combines, with the soundest practical advice for tho preservation and restoration of health, a large amount of in teresting and amusing light reading, and the calendar, astronomical caloulations, chronolog ical items, etc., are prepaled with great care, aud will be found entirely accurate. The issue of Hostetter’s Almanac for 188'J will probably be the largest edition of a medical work ever pub I lished In any country. The proprietors, Messrs. Hostetter 4 Co., Pittsburgh, Pa., on receipt of a two cent stamp, will forward a copy by mall to any person who cannot procure one in his ueighbornood. LTAWKEYE THE VAN MONCIICAR A grub a stump x Under the recent British Crimes act, ■ many Irishmen—notably a number of Irish members of Parliament—have been sentenced for political offences, , and committed te prison. Their treat-' PAIN. XT CONQUER ment while In prison has been the sub- ■ HEADACHE, Relieves and cures ject of excited discussion in England. [ BHEUMATISM, Toothache, Sprains, They have complained not only of un- | BRUISES. N'IVKALGIA. healthy cells and bad food, but also Sok oa, Lumbago. Burns and Scalds- of being forced to wear the clothing It Druggists and Dealers. prescribed for ordinary criminals, and THE C. HLES A. VOGELER CO.. Baltimore, Mt to mingle with those criminals in hours of rocreation. Not long ago a Looks are not everything. The homliest wo Dia iond Vera-Cura prominent Nationalist, named John men always make the best pickles and pre TOR DYSPEPSIA. serves. AVD AL- STOMACH TB0UBLM SUCH AB: Mandvllle, who had been imprisoned, iBiination, our-8tota*cli. ■•«rtbur», Hao«», yi«- died a short time after his release, and dlnasa Co as ation, F u II mm aftar satin«, r<x>® White Elephant of Siam, Lion of Eng- .itn th* M.jath and dlMfrtaabb taaU the coroner’s jury declared that he had land, Dragon of China, Cross of Switaer, . mi I a *. MarreosQM« aad Low-3piriU. died from the effects of ill-treatment land. Banner of Persia, Crescent of Egypt- Ât Druoaúlt and Dealer > or «mí by mall on ra eeipl is> eU. (5 hoot »1.00) in Oam¡w. Samplt Double Eagle of Russia, Star of Chili, I he by the prison authorities. Circle of Japan, Harp of Erin. Mr. Gladstone aud his adherents de To get thewe buy a box of the genuine clare that such treatment of men who D r . C. M c L ane ’ s C elkbratrd L iver have been found guilty, not of social P ills , price 2d cent«, and mail us the out wrapper with your address, plainly crimes, but of inferior and purely po side written, and 4 cents in stamps. We will litical offenses,, is not in accordance then mail you the above list with an ele with the practice of civilized nations. gant package of oleographic and chro The Liberal leader, on a recent occa inatic turds. F leming B ros ., P ittsburg , P a . sion, went yet further than this, and asserted that not even the barbarous It is’only the man that doesn’t believe In a and cruel King “Bomba” of Maples hell who tells auother man to go there. placed political criminals—at loast, Honey-moon. PRICE' those convicted of a less offense than “Say, Perkins, old boy, why don’t we see you at the club any more? Has your mother-in-law high treason—on a footing in prison shut down on you?’’ “No, Brown; the fact of 50. CENTS. the matter is, my home is so happy now that with murderers and thieves. there is no lndlceinent for me to leave it. You It is quite true that civilized nations look incredulous, but it’s a positive fact. You Asthma^ Cougha, Cold*," Croup, In my wife used to suffer so much from funct in modern times have been in the habit see, ional derangements common to her sex, that fluenza, Bronchitis, Catarrh, Whoop of making a clear distinction between her spirits and her temper were greatly affected. ing-Cough, Loss of Voice, Incipient It was not her fault, of course, but it made Consumption, and/all .».Throat and political and other captives; and even a home unpleasant all the same. BHt ’ now, since London paper, friendly to the present she has begun to take Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Pre Lung Troubles. scription, she has been so well and so happy Tory Cabinet, declares that, in the that we are having our honey-moon ali.over J. R. CATES & CO.? PROPS. treatment of the imprisoned Irishmen. again.” 417 Sansome Street, San Francisco. Cal. “England stands on a level, not with You can always get a woman to keep a secret the advanced nations of the world, but ifj'ou.give her chloroform enough. with the most backward States.” A Secret After the eivil war in this country, Of good health Is found In the regular move the Confederate statesmen who were ment of the bowel» and perfect action of the I.lver. These organa were Intended hy nature captured—notably Jefferson Davis— to remove from the system all impurities. If wore held in mild confinement, lodged you are constipated, you offer a "standing invi CONSUMPTION ” to a whole family of diseases and Irreg and fod well, and kept ontirely sep tation ularities which will surely I«' ''accepted," and SCROFULA arate from the ordinary criminals. yon will have guests unwelcome and deter mined. All thew unhappy condition« may be It Is a fact, moreover, that, in theh averted by the timely use of Dr. Pierce’s Pleas BRONCHITIS intercourse with each other, moderr ant Purgative Pellets. Powerful for the effect regulation of the bowel« and Liver, establl»h- COUGHS nations deal with the cases of political ual ing a healthv action of the entire wonderful prisoners as if they stood on a different organism with which we are created. GOLDS footing from felons. The extraditior. When all are left a man running ahead of bls Wasting Diseases treaties provide for the return of fugi ticket does not get there first. tive forgers, thieves and murderers, Wonderful Flesh Producer. Hmoko Ball will cure Catfirrh : send from the land whither they have es 12 Carbolic Scott's Emulsion is not a secret remedy. to 418 Front street, 8. F., Cal. caped, to that in which they have com Containing the stimulating Hypophos Hweet potatoes require nearly twice the time phites and Pure Norwegian Cod Liver Oil, mitted tliolr crimes. But this is rarely, that Irish potatoes do either to bake or boll. the potency of both being largely in perhaps never, done by treaties, as ti creased. It is used by Physicians all over political refugees. Most countrie •5,000 IN PRIZES the world. give to the political offenders of othci is offered by the publishers of T hb Y outh ’ s C om panion for the best short stories. There are PALATABLE AS MILK. countries what is called “the right of three prizes of 11,000 each, three of >750 each, Hold by all Druggists. and three of >250 each. No other paper so asylum.” If they once escape, they liberally to obtain the very best matter pays for its may live without fear of danger, in t subscribers. The publishers will send a circu trona 6.000,000 i»opi? I*»«’« ». lar on receipt of a stamp, giving the conditions „„ . ---------pays best to boy buy beeda land ot their adoption, of the largest aud most rclioblo house, and the/ use of this offer. T he C ompanion has Two Mil The instance ot the late Marshal lion Readers a week. Every family should take it. Any new subscriber who sends >1.75 now, Bazaine, win* has just died, after t will receive It free to January 1, 1889. and a full troublous career, at Madrid, is in point. year's subscription from that date. D. M. FERRY & CO are acknowledged to be the Tried and convicted of high treason A wineglass of strong borax water in a pint largest Seedsmen he was at first sentenced to death. Hi: of raw starch will make collars and cuffs stiff In tho world. sentence was then oommuted te im and glossy. D M. F f . iihy A C o ’ b Illustrated. Doscrip. prisonment for twenty years In th« Esc the surest remedy for catarrh—Dr.’ .Sage’s. tive and Priced fortress of Sainte Marguerite, famou: SEEDANNUAL Many a good drop of broth is made in an old as the prison of the Man in the Iror pot. For 1889 _________ Will be mailed FREE Mask. In a short time, by the aid of t to all rpplicants, and to last year’s customers heroic wife, the Marshal succeeded ir imopsY. without ordering it. Involu. making his escape from the fortress,ant We call the attention of those suffering with to the fair proposition of Dr. H. H. Green repaired to Spain. There in Madrid he dropsy in existence. * should send for it. Address <fc Hoiis in their advertisement on this page. D. M. FERRY & GO., DairoU. Mich. lived in perfect safety. Tho French Try them; it costs you nothing to do so. Government did not demand that h< George Peabody, the celebrated philanthro Should be given up. pist, was worth >100.000,000. ^GLADDING.McBEAN&CO. It sometimes happens that, out ol n fê\sElA/ÊR & CHIMNEY PIPE, \ friendship, a nation will give up tc If afflicted with 8ore Eyes, use Dr. Isaac L DRAIN TILE, TILE, another a political refugee. But tliif Thom peen’s Eye Water. Druggists sell it 25c. * DRAIN rarely happens. Switzerland is to-daj g ARCHITECTURÀLTERRA C0T1A E^cl —J / »Am a socuro place of refuge for Russiar T ry G ermea for breakfast. 1358-1360 MARKET ST, m S. r- E I / conspirators and offenders against the - MANUFACTORY AT LINCOLN CAL. Czar’s crown; and England has foi many years been theasyiumof Italians, m A 1st Premiums. 25,000 In use, VUUAWCfW Russians, Polos and Frenchmen wbc ■JI fl |\| I 20 years Established. NeW I Ini■WWl patented Steel Tuning De havo been guilty, at home, of political vice, in use in no other Piano, by which our Plano« stand in time 20 years, good for 100 ; not affected offenses. Notable instances of this were by climate. No wood to split, break, swell, shrink, Mazzini, who plotted to overthrow the crack, decay, or wear out; we guarantee it. Ele gant Rosewood Cases, 8 strings, double repeating Austrian Government at Venice, and | action; finest ivory keys; the Famous ANTISELL. was received with open arms by many Call er write for Catalogue, free. T. M. ANTISELL PIANO CO., Manufacturers, Odd Fellows* Hall, Mar. eminent Englishmen; and Victor Hugo, ket and Seventh Streets, San Francisco. who lived in serene exile for many years on the lslaud of Guernsey. BUY T1IK BEST. TAKE NO CHANCES. Ill-treatment of political prisoners it usually bad policy as well as contrary THE CREAT HEALER. te modern usage; or, as the London Cure:» Cuts, Sore«, Salt Rheum, Boil., paper already quoted says: "Petty and Pimple., Felons. Skin Diseases, and all degrading conditions of punishment ailments for which a salvo is suitable. Foi will only help those to whom they are taking out soreness and healing it acts like magic. 25ccnts a box. at all druggist», subjected to bo elevated to the position of martyrs."— l'onth's Companion. PRIVATE DISPENSARY. Nos. 183 and 134 Third Street Portland. Oregon. R emeb ^ aiñ WHAT SCOTT’S EMULSION CURES ghsS .irúrur*., et., "" CON8iri.TA'>’lOX FR?k. sox, SeoUh Uro.., Iowa. four toup oon full of tba bratBakUig l'owd.r.MT- ing tw.ntr tlm.. it- oo«t. beaidoa belu much healthier, becGQBG it does not con tain any injuriouB ■ubatenoGG. luchM alum, terr a Alba •tc., of which many Bak ing Powders are Dairymen and Farmen should use only the** Arm A Hammer ** brand for cleaning and k—nin» Milk Pana Bwmt \nl Clean. C autiow . Bee that •very pound package of "Arm and Hammer Brand” oontains full Id ounoea net, and tha «pound packages/W| owBces net. Soda or Baleratus same as speak Bad on each package. To Houspkoepsrsand JTarmrrs.-Itle impor tant that the Soda or Balerat us you use should be White and Pure same as all similar substance! need for food. To insure obtaining only the ‘ ‘Arm • Hammer” brand Soda •r Salerat is, bay it in •pound or half pound aartoons, which bear our name and trade-mark, as inferior goods are some times subetituted fJethe •Arm & Hammer” brand when bought in bulk. Parties using Baking Powder should remem ber that its sole rising property consists of bi carbonate of soda. On« teaspoonful of the "Arm • Hammer” brand of Bode or Baleratus mixed with sour milk equals Packed in Card Board Boxes. Always keeps Soft. If*You Are Sick With Headache, Neuralgia, lthc umattau Dyspep sia, Biliousness, Blood IIuntorB, Kidney Disease, Constipation, Female Troubles, Fever and Ague, Sleeplessness, Partial Paralysis, or Nervous Profi tration, use Paine's Celery Compound and bo cured. In each of these the cause is mental or physical overwork, anxiety, exposure or malaria, the effect of which 1 b to weaken the nervons sys tem, resulting In one of theso diseases. Remove the cavsb with that great Nerve Tonic, and the result will disappear. Paine’s Celery Compound J as . L. B owhn , Springfield, Mass., writes “Paine’s Celery Compound cannot be excelled as a Nerve Tonic. In my case a single bottle wrought a great change My nervousness entirely disappeared, and wltn it the resulting affection of the stomach, heart and liver, and the whole tone of the system was wonderfully invigorated. I tell my friends, if sick as I have been, Paine’s Celery Compound Will Cure You! Sold by druggists. SI ; six for $5. Prepared only by W klia , R ichardson & Co., Burlington, VL For the Aged, Nervous, Debilitated. Warranted to color more good* than any othei dyes ever made, and to give more brilliant and durable colors. Ask for the Diamond, and take I no other. j | A Dress Dyed A Coat Colored Garments Renewed A Child can use themk Unequalled for all Fancy and Art Work. At druggists and Merchants. Dye Book free WELLS, RICHABDSON & CO., Prop«.. Burlington, Vt, \ dwicht ’ s 7 Ferry’s Seeds irmnAM A Tourist Keeps Track of Rooms Where Suicides Have Occurred. B aking D o A BIG STORY NO CURE! MONEY REFUNDED! nly Fifty <*■!« te be Rellevr«! ef O Dr. Ri:iams’ Rheumatism. Neuralgia or Sciatica. —»‘What’» the matter, Barringer? You look dispirited.” ••I’m troubled —The great high road of human with too much mother-in-law.” “That’» welfare Ilea along the old highway of bad, old boy. IIow often does the visit Bteadfaat well doing. you?” “Twise n year.” ‘•That i»n't often, Darringer.” “No. it isn't, only that aha stay» six months at a time.” s y Wcidtrfal Qenul Cims worn at bracelets. Perfectly simple and Relief l Permanent Where medicines have failed, th one i Chains bare effVcted a Permanent Cure. Send ' fifty cent» for Chains and Circular; or 2r stam* for circular alone. Agents wanted R. k . COWI.K8 A CO., 19 Montgomery St., San Fran cisco. Cal. WHOLESOME BREAD USE D wights C ow -B rand S oda «»S aleratus . ABSOLUTELY PURE. ALWAYS UNIFORM AND FULL WEIGHT. Is ssrs that thsre la » picture of a Cow on your package and you will have General Agent for the ADVANCE ENGINES THRESHERS AND POWERS father than the Cheapest PORTLAND BUSINESS COLLEGE. Port].,nd, Oregon. i » quip-H» nr, im •k.EQ.h instruction, rsiab. lishcd ’•eimi Hion.i’rmv.ng v>pu!arity. Business, Morthand, Common School and Penmirrthln Deport ments. Student . ¡ulrbbred at any ’line. Cata logue and «périmons of pentn «nship sent free. J. A. WKSt h.Sec’c. A^h^MxTRONC., Pria. n Day. Samples wort! worth $1.W, FREE. C T° •« tt tDil 1 kines not T Z '* under ------- the horses feet. Write B rrw - w V RT rtkr r S S A afety C o ’ll ol IV , M i Ch. ER ’ S FRTT R rin H older o LDRR Co.ff Mf 1 sely by the ChmlttlOt, THE ONLY DEALER Off PACIFIC COAST That ships Bel Is I CAR LOADS. PRICES GREATLT REDUCbb All sizes in stock from 40 pouuds to 1,2^0. Send for REDUCED PRICES. Remember It is a pleasure to show goods or answer question* If you cannot call write WELL DRILLS FOR EVFRY PORPOIt. Sold on Trial I "~U. profit» ar<e. Bend »c for mailing large illustrated Catalogue • >A foil portlcuUra AL ufactured by GOULDS A AUSTIN, *•’ A lea Lek. M., CHICACO. ILL. MLPIiHCIt NEW MIT (Put. Oct. 11.’87) cum all Nsrvoua and Chronic Dte- «am of both **,**. Price £1 and upward. Send 2c r sraled pamphlet No. X ■ I m KE. If ruptured •end Stamp for Pamphlet No. I. PILES. New Invention. Send to forPamphlet No. S. Art.ims; ’«V N B- T. C'w,70S Sacramento m.,San Francisco, Cal. I also deal in Laundry Machinery, Marine Engines. All kinds of Brass Goods, Inspirators, Injectors, Oilers, Reapers, Mowers. Chemical Fire Extinguishers, and Engines, Oils, Belting, Hose, Wrenches, Etc. IM Big w baa given nntrefk. sal satisfaction in tba cure of Gonorrhoea and Gleet. I prescribe It and feel safe In recommend* Ing It to all sufferer*. A. J. 8T0MEB, l.DM Decatur, HU PRICE tl.00, * Sold hy Drugcista, ’ Coreala 1 TO ft DATS. bEST ANO FASTEST THRESHER I N THE WORLD. I especially request those contemplating purenasing either an Engine or Tbiesher next season to look up the record of the ADVANCE. It, i he onli/ machine ever sold on the Pacific Coast that has given entire_satisfaction. Positively Cured with Vegetable Remedies. Have cured many thousand cases. Cure patients pronounced hopeless by tlie best physicians. From first dose symptoms rapidly disappear, and In ten clays at least two-thirds of all symptoms are remov ed Send for free book of testimonials of miraculous cures. Ten days treatment furnished free by mall. If you order trial, send 10 cents in stamps to pay postage. |>R,H II <fKEEN A HONR, Atlanta,(fa. ANB IOSPINBOBT. A • /»•€. —Mr». Cleveland has become an ex pert lawn tennis player. She is able to servo a ball with skill and energy, and her volleying is remarkably ef fective. ip -------- TREATED FREE.---------- ••Front, show this gentleman to room <06 Go with tho young man, please.” That is what the clerk at a populai downtown hotel said to a timid, pale- faced stranger who hod applied for ac commodations. minute, boy,” ejaculated the guest. "I wish to understand matter, fully," and ho hauled from an Inner pocket a long, black book which he I opened with great precision. After scanning a few ot its leaves, he said: "No, sir; not me. You can’t get me into that room. Tm paying for the Is going the rounds of all the papers that there is a place in Sau Francisco where goods are privilege, Mr, Clerk. What's the mat sold so cheap and of such good quality that ter? Well, that room is marked, put nearly all the people who can buy for cash any where on the Coast send there for family sup on this black-list here. See? What plies. The story is really true, and there are a hundred reasons why it is so, but we have no does it mean? I’ll tell you in a very i time nor «pact* to explain them. The uext few words. I may not be as practical H ome C ircle now about ready to send out will as some of you New YoFkors, but up tell yon all about it. Sample copies are seut to any address. Just now you can buy gen my way 1 am considered a practical ’ free uine French Prunes at 5c a th. in any quantity, business man. I am a great lover of and 4c in 100 lb lots and over to storekeepers and farmer’s clubs; Plumbs with the pits In at newspapers and as my business re 3c 4c; Grapes by the car load or down to 100 quires a great deal of travel I mako a lbs and at .3c, and smaller lots at 4c; Peaches, un point of noting all the hotel suicides. peeled, at 4c to Sc, and peeled as low as 5c that good but rather dark; Mixed Nuts that are Tho papers usually publish the num are pretty fair at Ik’, and 100 tb lots 7c, or even 6c ber of the room in which a suicide or for some mixtures; the finest selections now prices will not prevail alwavs. In murder occurs. Well, I keep track of 12V. These we offVr genuine Golden in 32 gallon these particulars and enter them in this Syrups, bbls, at 25c, and California at 22Uc; ’b-bbls.. book. I find that room 406, to which (16 gals.) 5c higher; kegs still 10c higher to pay for packages. Comb Honey Sticks on hand, you now wish to send mt«, woe the and we have to sell 5-lb tins, full weight and scene of a suicide last fall. I possess well put up, at 50c and 60c, and 10-tb tins at J 1.00 and >1.10; difference is in color rather than a littlo nerVe, but not sufficient te oo- J n quality. Foor Butter for cooking at 25c and cupy a room that is marked. If you i 40c a roll, or say ns low rs 16 c a lb average; have no other I’ll try some other hotel. I Table Butter of tne finest quality. Underwear, Overalls, Boots aud Shoes. Rubber Goods, All right, sir. Good day." Stockings Christmas things by the wagon Anu as tho practical business man ! load. You can save money aud grow rich by at Mwltli'B Cash Mt«re, 414 started out the dork muttered some-1 trailing thing about cranks and the newspapers. FrsRtNt., N. —»V. F. Mail and Express or MEXICAN SALVE ir , HOTEL ELACK LISTS. DELICIOUS BISCUITS I