♦ TELEPHONE. VOL. II. WEST SIDE TELEPHONE. MCMINNVILLE 'AN EPISODE OF CITY LIFE. I THE MAN FROM TOM'S RIVER NO. 118 JULY 29. 1887 THE LIMEKILN CLUB. fteod Advice Present«»«! Free to a Young Swell Head. IF WAR BREAKS OUT. BLACK BIRCH ik n WOOD. It. U.e For Ornamental Purpose. Highly Recommend eel. Probable Effects of a Europeun War«—Of Advantage lu America. Three years ago. the writer built a “if I xmi I John Buckhorn ar’ in de hall to ( If war breaks out it is inevitable that there i 11* EVERY TUESDAY AND FRIDAY i A Josli hitcomb looking old gentleman night I should like to hev him come for’d,” must be a great fall. Russia by a groat war dwelling house in the country. In tat most of the day yesterday on a seat in You may have seen something in the pa­ said Brother Ganlner as the dust settled would bo almost inevitably rmuierod bank- I selecting the woods for the interior of the ppeu lot commonly called Union square.' pers alx>ut tbe coast defenses. The idea has He bad his hat off so that the zephyrs oi 1 somehow got abroad that our coasts ought to dowii and the menders got their feet | rupt, au«l a repudiation by Russia would in- j the house, his attention was called to drawn in. flict terrible losses, not only upon the Russian some doors the builder had put into a spring could zeph through his late hair, and be lined with forts and guns as a warning to Lord John, who is a young man and a people, but upon German and other investors. ; feet were drawn up into the legs of hi- Europe against declaring war against us some house he had just finished for himself. Talmage Heath, bis young member, made his way up the center Then, again, tbe outbreak of a great war boots where they could swell on almost in­ morning before breakfast. Engineers have Publishers and Proprietors. Remarking that I had nover seen black aisle nnd os ho reached the pn'sident ’ s desk would not improbably cause a panic upon the definitely if they felt totter that way. surveyed and reported, and congressional Berlin bourse, and ¡»ossibly also upon that of birch used before in the insldo trim­ He was dressed plainly and he canned with committees have sat and reported, and for tbe latter continued: SUBSCRIPTION RATES: “Brudder Buckhorn, I h'ar dat you ar’ Paris. Lastly, it is to be rocoilected that ming of a house, but that I liked its him an emaciated oilcloth grip that bad no ' about $80,000,000 we can get things in such One year............................... 00 talkin”bout a tower to Yurup, an’ you is Six month».......................................... 125 doubt put in a long, hai*d winter. He shape that when the enemy’s first iron-clad sayin’ you is gwine to rent a box in de pos' were a groat war to break out tho govern­ fine grain and the handsome color of Three months.................................... 75 watched this bag so closely that he did not heaves in sight she can be saluted in proper offls, an’ you has bin talkin’ considerable ments engaged in it would be obliged to issue the wood. T decided that I wanted very large loans. If the war lasted long have much time to commune with nature or style. ’bout ownin’some pine lands down in Ala­ other loans would t>e issued in quick succes­ birch used at least in one of the rooms Entered in the Postoilice at McMinnville. Or., enjoy the broad and beuutiful sweep of coun­ A lot of us were sitting in the depot wait bama.” as second-class matter. sion, the national debts of Europe would in­ of the house about to be built The try which extends longitudinally from Fourth ing room at Trenton, and the only man w ho “Yes, sab.” crease enormously, and thus one of the great builder thought the architect might avenue to Broadway, merry and musical ; had a newspaper was reading away for dear “Ar’ you gwine to tower to YnrupF causes tending to raise prices would be object to its use. as it was not a wood with its myriads of song birds. The twitter life, when a stranger entered with two sach­ I “N-no, sail.” GOING« stopped; the supply of securities weuld be much known to the trade; nnd then he of the silvery voiced sparrow and the tropi- \ ets and a tall girl, chucked the baggage under “Got yer box in de poe’ ofiis picked out?” • * immensely augmented all at once, while the related how ho had selected it from a cal, dark red notice to “keep off the grass,” , a seat, waved the girl to another, and walked Moving about the quiet ways, “Not yit, sah.” growth of wealth would be checked. did not seem to calm him or soothe his anx- I up to the man with the newspaper and asked: lot of odds and ends of lumber lying Sitting beside the hearth, “ An ’ I sposedem pine lands in Alabamu ar 1 W o<h, of course, would continue to grow iety. “Mister, is there anything in the paper all in your eye?” Joining rs best she can and may about his shop, more to get rid of au in the countries that elided war, and also 1 drew nearer and engaged him in conver ­ I about our coast defenses?” In the careless household mirth. “Y-yes, sah.” in tho countries which themselves were not unsalable article than for its appro­ sation. Nothing gives me greater pleasure “No, sir!” was tbe gruff reply. “I reckoned so. You ar’ a young man, an’ Yet always through the haunted nighty than to make strangers in New York as com­ “That’s singular. Have they given up the you has de swell hea«l an’ want to swell out. | made tho theatre of war, and which had not priateness or its beauty, and, that his As through tho restless day, too large a proportion of their male popula­ new house was built principally out ot fortable as possible while here, so that they idea, do you think?” You want to be tooken fur a millyonoire, tion in the field; but along with this growth Feeling—another hour is passed— * will feel like coming again frequently and odd lots of stuff which had been ac­ “ I don ’ t know what you mean, sir. ” Of tho time that Hies away. when you doon’ ai’ru but seben dollars a doing their trading here. I believe th'at this “You don’tl Why, they’ve been talking week an«l you am wearin’ a hat of de style of of wealth (hero would also bo a great de­ cumulating for a long time about his struction of wealth. At tho very time, there ­ The last frail strand of the cable is the only true way to build up a town. for the last year about building forts to pro­ three y’ars ago. Bi u«loo' house. mitted looked very well; but then he delayed. That now ore left behind— a bank in town that would cash it for him. They’d land right on my farm, and nobody I “De ptisson who goes aroun’ purtendin’ to had never heard of birch being used There might be an exception in favor of “The trouble is here,” said he, “that every | knows the damage they’d do. Don’t see any­ be what be ain’t, lie’s laid out to hoe de hard­ May come again, but not to lie American railroad securities. Even in them before for any such purpose, and he ‘nducement is held out to prevent a man thing about a fort at Tom’s river, eh?” Safe by the old home shore; est kind of a row. He may fool a few ole there would be a fall at first, but probably had grave misgivings as to the result from getting acquainted, and then when he i “No, sir.” The anchor of youth is almost weighed; I women an’ young chil’en, but de rest of de ese wants to get a check, or postoffice money ! “Well, that’s singular. If this government Ì I world will tumble to him fur what he is. Not they would recover quickly—first, because a of tho experiment if the birch was They will cast it never more. order, or anything else cashed, they tell him ' expects me to get down Behind a rock with only dat, but «ley will dispise him fur his hy­ rreat war in Europe would increase the de­ adopted. But without further argu­ And it’s oh. and it's oh, for the sinking dread. tie has got to identify himself. Now the only I my old shotgun and keep Europe from land­ pocrisy. Samuel Shin, w ho aims about fo’ mand for American produce; secondly, be­ ment, tiie architect consented to atrlul It’s oh for the climbing sorrow, man that I’ve bad any dealing with is the ing at that point it’s expecting a leetle too dollars a week, could circulate aroun’ an’ tell cause there would be tendency to send capital of the new wood, and it wits introduced As ever the cruel, creeping night man that give me this check and I can’t find ; much of one man. I’d tight to the death, of de people dat he wasgwine toopen a nashunal out of the l>elligerent countl ies to the neutral Brings on the weary morrow! him. l’vo seen pretty near everybody else, ■ course, but the chances are that a hull navy bank or build an elevator or organize a countries for safe keeping and for invest­ into the wainscoting, doors and fire­ S, Love that is truo must hush itself. bat I haven’t saw him yesterday or to-day. I could lick one nigh sighted man. So tbe steamboat line. He might git a dollar’s worf ment; and, thirdly, because the population place of the dining-room, and it re­ Nor pain by its useless cry, and wealth of the United States themselves sulted most satisfactorily to all parties I hadn’t anything else much to do yesterday, , paper don’t say anything?” For the young must go, and the old must bear, of credit at some co’ner grocery, an’ some growing so rapidly that tho home demand for and so I thought I’d kind of make it mv busi- | “Didn’t I tell you no in the first place?” And lime goes by, goes by. shoemaker might put a lilt on one of his heels securities is vast, while Amerioan investors having a voice in mutter—the architect, ness to hunt him up. I went over to the post- ! “Say! inebbe you don’t keer a copper about an’ chalk it down, but in a few weeks Samuel —All the Year Round. the builder and the owner. office about 10 o’clock yesterday morning and ■ coast defenses!” exclaimed the two-sachel would take a powerful drop, an’ when he rarely invest their money in securities of Persons who may not know the nat­ ltetuseU According to the Bill. watched all day for him, because I was pretty ! man, as a red spot appeared on either cheek. caiue down do concussion would jar de but­ foreign govgether on ye. You may now resoome y« r servers to take it for a comet; it resem­ I 1 exclusively reserved for mahogany, »be was too cruel. everybody knew. Even the papers had said “In the fust place, I’ve got these two sachets seat, an’ if the ailment continers to grow Oil bled, on the contrary, the other fixed which is worth nbout «250 a thousand. “I am not cruel. George. I am only frank. Chat “he was thoroughly identified with tht to purtect; it the second place, there’s Mary; ye I’ll look about for some remedy which de stars» and alied a more brilliant light than You provoke Just such scepticism and lam The advance has been expedited by the growth of the place,” and now be couldn’t lie in the third place, 1 don’t fight with no man club kin apply.”—Detroit Free Press, tho stars of the first magnitude, excelling jf a peculiarly exacting f his heart to me uud ia lime you would re­ An Unexpected Suggestion. that he had folded up very small and in vari­ paper about our coast defenses.” and was visible also in tlu» (laytime, even sas and the South is so porous that It is lent that demand :;s awarding mo undue and “ Say, Gaddersby, ” said Mr. Smith, as he ous ways till it was pretty grim and smelled “And I said no, you idiot!” treasonable preference; you would upbraid came into the fish store with a lot of tackle at noon. At night, with a covered sky, of very little use in furniture-iuaking. like fi ied pork, but it had an honest air about “And you said you did’nt keer. ” aie for expecting you to exercise unjust dis- in his hand, “I want you to give me some fish while nil the other stars arc invisible, it The best black birch is fonnd almost it that even a $10 check may wear. I knew t “Neither do I!” »riiuination against other and com’/eting to take home with me. Kind o’ fix ’em up so was repeatedly distinguishable through exclusively on the barren copper and that I could, with slight trouble, get identified “There’s bis hand agin, gentlemen! While (hat they’ll look as if they’ve been caught to­ the clouds. Tycho was convinced of its oro regions between Marquette nnd ladies of your acquaintance. So you see, myself, and so I took the paper off bis hands, I’m lying liehind u rock at Tom’s River, wait­ George’’----- complete immovability. Its light began Ashland, where all other timber is t5tr after he had indorsed it. He was very grate­ ing to sell my life in defense of my country, day. will you?” But George had vanished into ib« outer “Certainly, sir,” said the grocer. “How to fade in Novemlier, 1572, and after ful and wrung my band in a warm, enthusi­ here’s a feller from Coon Holler, state of In­ stunted in growth nnd very ;>oor. Uu kness. —New York Tribune. many? ” having shone for nearly seventeen astic way that repaid me well for the slight diana, who don’t keer a cooper’s copper how “Oh, you’d better give me three or four months it disappeared entirely in 1574. Hero boards cutout of tlio butt, quickly favor I had done him. I quick Europe kivers the site of New Jersey bnss. Make it look decent in quality without In vain the astronomers have looked for assume a lieautIful red tint on being One advantage of being a man of plenty of with the blood of our bravest men!” TJir “lire King’s” Ointnient. appearing to exaggerate, you know.” it in its wonted place since; but now, exposed to the atmosphere, and can be A writer in an Es’glinb fin? paper says the means is the great chance thus offered for do­ “Father!” chided Mary again. “Yes, sir. But you’d better take white after the usual jieriod of about 300 years, polished up to a grent degree of fine- showmen who perform such wonderful feats ing favors for those who need them and who “Leinme alone, Mary! You know all fish, hadn’t you?’’ it is expected to show itself again.— , ness.”— Scientific American. with fire, and announce themselves us ‘‘fire are grateful and appreciative. about carpet rags and darning and house­ “Why! What makes you think soF My friend did not seem to want to leave work, but you never heard the rumble of Exchange. kings” and ns being fireproof, use an oint­ “ Oh, nothing, except that your wife was — a pruiiniiuni junx aeaier rcentl’ p « ment made by dissolving two ounces of cam­ me, but at last I told him that I would have war. If Europe is going to jump onto tlxis down here early this morning and said if you received an order for ten thousa rropS. phor in four ounces of aqua vit®, and then to go down street to see bow my affairs were country I want to know who's going to shoot «Iropped in with a fish pole over your shoul­ PHYSIOLOGY AND HYGIENE. tomato can«. The dealer elf • ii„,r.c -l.lv reno- adding two ounces of liquid storax mid two shuffling along. 1 me in the back as I face tbe enemy.” der and a generally woebegone look, to have He shook my band again warmly, which 1 ounces of quicksilver. Two ounces of hema­ The man with the newspaper opened it and you take white fish K possible, as she liked Out Door Exercise—Treatment fur Short- that much of tlii« kind of tin -I. nn'lm « hccoiii - sighted net« and Other Imperfections. tite, beaten into a powder «and mixed with the did not feel very distinctly, for it was still sat down with a dangerous glitter in bis eyes, that kind better than any other.” for corners and edge piece« r 1':ll,; paralyzed from the first manifestation ; then above ingredients, completes the mixture; and there was a solemn silence for a few min­ Of late years American women are devot­ grade of trunks, while man y ,, Mr. Smith took white fish.—Merchant he told me I must coma up and see him this and when it is rubbed on the bands, a red hot utes. Then the Tom’s River man edged over Traveler. ing more and more time to various forms of use it for flushing« on ro. «. l.,u iron may be held in tto hanjls and tont summer and stay a week or two. I gave him to Mary and they slid out doors together. out door exercise. Horseback riding es­ double, or by its use one can safely walk on my card and he went down the street, hum­ Then he beckoned through the open w indow Rapid Trnnnit. pecially is more generally practiced. That dealer i« obliged to melt the t dder of ■ Francisco, ivd hot irons. If used too often it discolor» ming to himself and swinging bis Russia ; to three or four of us, and as we went out li€ Hotel Clerk—Look nt my new diamond. this enjoyable exercise is also eminently Btraigliten tlie cans out into fl it sheet ukn kept the skin. Perhaps some fireman will try it. iron grip against the legs of the hurrying surrounded us and whisjiered: healthful would seem to to demonstrated by pack the pieces in flat bundle, to.'«hip It’s a darling, ain’t it? terms. though wo cannot say that the result would throng. “Gentlemen, it’s my solemn opinion that Guest—It’s a tine stone. May I ask where the superior vigor and robustness of English meat, and only gets about«, per ton As he sailed along and finally out of sight that feller is a jannisary from Europe wbc you got it ? be satisfactory or not.—Boston Transcript. women, to whom long daily rides are fnjOjiMroiibl*^ he seemed like a breath of sweet clover and has come over here to coax Uncle Sam not tc Hotel Clerk—It’s one of the French crown quite a matter of course. In regard to the wild thyme, although he didn’t seem to be put up any coast defense. I want to say jewels that’s just been auctioned. advisability of the side saddle, also, as good The Manicure Clnb. having a very wild thyme; but I could picture right here, and I want you to hear it anil re­ Guest—See here, that auction only began authority as The London Lancet has stated his sunny home up in the hills, as he described Not a asx much time in the saddle are suppose they will over think of the -‘Manicure weeks, I could board out the <10 check ha For a lacerated wound made by a borlrd I A Preliminary He port. gave me, and which I have since learned “ ia affected. Riding with a straight leg and long club ” tho very last to be bom into the social wire fence and an impulsive dog. I would i not available for our columns. ” — Bill Nye in A youngster of the mature age of 10, cap ­ circle if nobody place« it on record! Thia suggest, change of **ene and rest. You could tain of the Boomer club, a baseball nine in stirrup almost invariably produces “knocked New York World. knees.” Nearly nil the moulded soldiers of special elub consists of ten members, devoted rest standing up no doubt better than any an adjoining city, r.xvntly received a chal­ the British army suffer from this deformity. m tbe culture and improvement of finger other way. • lenge from a rival club to play, which be ac­ On the other hand, riding with a short stirrup Hard to Flense. nails, US its name implies. It meets once a State what you know of tbe mind cure, of which cepted. Before the game took place, how­ produces bowed legs, as seen in jockeys, week and the prize condition of those lit) New Arrival—Yah, I von Anarchist am. we hear so much. ever, he prepared two report« for tbe local tinge,' tit's is -northing for the “professional" Di* was no vree goundry. Liberty vos von The mind cure is something that I know papers, either one of which could be uhp <1 as I grooms and hunting men. The long stirrup rider grips bis horse w th the knee, while the * t„r to dream about! After each fair lie very little aliout, and yet I often very ( beer occasion demanded. One set forth in glowing short stirrup rider grips with tl»e inner side ¿ember’s nail« have been duly examined and Omaha Man—What do you complain of fully write about things of which I know- terms a victorious result for the nine. The of tto leg below the knee. This explains ths criticise.! ’>v tie eetaiuittre,” a popei on the particularly.* even less than I do about this. The mind “Look nd New York vere I stop. A man cure h a kind of scheme by which one mind, other merely left a space for his score, with different results. subject of hands, their core and culture, u this concluding comment: “ Tbe game was read, and then the club adjourn, te a want to kill bisself in der Cendral park und through its power over another, banishes dis­ I kvt to tbe Boomers through bail umpiring.” The Bell of J nut ice. luncheon that .Mve. filbert nrnte wlMt be get put in der prison vor sixty days.” ease from tile physical being. I once cm This was taking time by the forelock, indeed. In one of tbe cltira of Italy, In olden time«, moon, mto the background for the time be I “Is that alir ployed a tall, thoughtful man to como an 1 —Boston Gazette. •.lie king «-niiMed a 1*11 be hung In the tower “Is nod that enough» Vat you say vree treat me on this plan Ho rame several day», Ing—Boston Herald. >f one of tbe public squaiw, and railed it goundry for ven a man not even baf dot priv­ and the rosults weie not very satisfactory. Of No Intrrr«t to Him. ‘The bell of justice.” It wan commanded by ilege to kill meinselfr lu—Hurlcn «r th. bi. A. K. One day it flashed over him that bo bad for­ Mrs. Gttzzleheimer, the wife of the eminent Jiis king that any one who had been “That’s onlr a state law; them is no such gotten ’both days to bring bis instrument lu vronged »houid go and ring tbe toll, and to law in Nebraska. You just tike the cars to with him. The following day he came iu brewer, was rending the evening paper: “Vat vas der news mit dot paperC asked Hanscom park and"----- with his mind done up in a shawl strap. He Mr. Gattletolmer, who drops into English rail tbe magistrate of tbe city, an 1 ask and annual eix-ampment, shite -wceive justice. The «Cory 1« told that when, “Maybe I go ferder west.” began to work on me, but did not succee«!. Jgpynt - I n tbe course of time, tto end of tbe toll rope “W«H, then, stop in Colorado; there you Then he rose, buckled up h» shawl strap an«l occasionally. “ I see een atoniioned by ite owner ,r., !>y rtSt. K l—rtS. F<*- «ml turned out to «lie, wandered into tto L in AugU'i. you only k«ak for it. ” mind, by its control over another, works the uirmlcre «ere initiated, ’x?wer, and in trying to eat the vine rang tto ksC, —hen twe “I dink I go back mit New York.”—Omaha cure. So it is necearary not only that 1 have I goes to schleep mit myself ouid.” Holliday, iffitor aad pro- And in five minutes lie was snoring — New toil. Ami tto magirtrate of tto city, coming 'among 'bwn World. ___________ a mind that I «ran apply, but you shoukl also [«•'.apotn % ami f*. A. 1 tn see who rang tto toll, found ttoie old and jctaUM o< at least have a arar or sonjething to show York Hun. i-» «ion agent for Indiana, «tarving hor«e. He «'au.**d tto owner of that «oBtogvr. wbert your mind used to lie. You should ¡io idea from an IDinoH j dor*, in wboee nervice it had toiled and been Pickle*I E ks *- Cen. FreUs have bwMi fair and «quare with me and told iionson. who reid lie didn t - «Acer -JMi Pickled raff’ funitoi a reiUb enjoyed by 1 worn out, to to mimmoned before him, and and that lndi- me in tbe first place that you was destitute of hhvo m of the matter anythin? of that kind. That was tbe way to many pernnuM. Bod tto raff* iiard and put { iecree«! that, a» hi« |xx>r h**rw bad rung tbe I «wa re! move the j rail of jm»ti«*. to «Iwmld have justice, and that treat a fellow man who bad never harmed ntocuid water for a moment. M the Pittaburf butter i Ln September. I1»!«, you in anv way.” He then strode out of iny «belle, stick clove« Into tbe:u and drvp mi I luring the Lot**’« life bb owner should pto- I | ride him with pioper food, drink and »tab!« iven i vlnraor. •partmeute -Bill Nye ia Boetoa Gtoto. Frtte«'« adjutan- gen- A. K. ta teght euue ---- Istnied---- Bill Nye Encounters a Whiff of Clove« and Wild Thyme from the Couutry. Who Doea’nt Propose to Allow an Enemy to Land on Ills Coast. d 3, I .J! Dealing. 'NG. LIVER REGULATOR r. i