Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Telephone=register. (McMinnville, Or.) 1889-1953 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 21, 1887)
nouncing it at once to his Ministers, the litje empire, giving vent to their procia med that, upon the first day wrath in voices of thunder, but laying t-ometl ne. on soraefuttir« day, of the fourteen the Ministers should hands on none of the citizens. After You or I iD'ist pa«« away; Sometime though it break« a heart. assemble at the public square, and there a time they left the empire, closing the You au<! I uiuat surely part. d ecu*» the problem of how best to van great gat-: after them. Sage Long- quish heir common toe; and that every quill's plan had succeeded. The But. mv <1arl ng. we 11 not dweU Ou a future none can tell intelligent citizen, no matter what his knights were safe for that thanks When or how it is to be. position in life, should present himself giving. Wiu.il Death cabs you or me. « * ♦ • • • at the same place, listen attentively to Let us live for what is now. the discussion of the Ministers, and “It beat, all!” said Farmer Tolly, Que^t ou noth ug when/or howl when they had finished, submit any as he came in from his tour of inspec « Let that tnint time shrouded be. Life's or Death's great mystery. plan which occurred to them: prov ded. tion in the turkey-yard. “What kin should it fail, that they would volun be the matter with them pesky turkeys? Let us eb« sh love's sweet past. tarily go with the ogre on the dreadful They hain't eat a bit for a week, and Heart to heart bound strong and fast, lle*'<ling no' the clouds that lie day The object of the last clause was they're a droppin’ and a ailin', some In the d atant by and by. to keep those from speaking who had of ’em n'gh about to die. Not one tit <4/d W Dunn, in InUr Ocean. not perfected a plan in which they had for the thanksgiviug markets—the full confidence. This proclamation countrary critters.” NOT FIT TO EAT. the Emperor bad announced annually “Well I declare! if it don't beat the by the county crier on the morn ng of Dutch! I really believe some one's inu it :t was wizened em!” exclaimed his sympathiz- Farmer Tolly Found Hia “Peaky the first day of the fourteen, and this the people were so ex| poctantly ¡ng wife.— M. Thayer Rouse, in Toledo Turkey a” All “A Ailin'.” waitmg to hear at the time tl his story 1 Blade. opens. COLORS DISCARDED. Soon the crier climbed to the top o. “D ng dung! ding dong!" in a clear, lusty ton >, pealed the bell of the court a mountain which ornamented the een A Killing of the uagliah War Olile« Which WUi Sara Many Liv«a. crier of Gobbletown, and ••Hear. O ter of the square, ami from tlier- shouted out his message, which was. Perhaps I may as well state hero a hear, ad ye good people!” called the with the exception of the date, exactly crier at the top of hi« Toice. as he what it had always been. When he fact, which I think is not generally marched up and down the principal finished reading, the citizens gathered known outside of military circles. On in little knots upon the street corners our lauding in Egypt for the Soudan su e ts of the city. It re.div seemed as if the crier and and long and earnestly discussed the expedition all colors of regiments were the bell were trying a sort of match to dreary prospect before them; finally left on board the fleet, so that British ■diapers tig to prepare themselves for the see w io could make the most noise, .afternoon at the square. At the ap soldiers, for the first time in history with so much zest did each go about pointed hour every Gobbleto dan was went into action unaccompanied by his appointed duty. ’Twould have been in his plaoe. An oxc ted, sorrowful, ' “Old Glory,” wh >se silken folds had a very strange sort of people that could hopeless multitude, they listened at been wont for centuries to flap among not hi'u: Such a prolonged and remark tentively to the wise dissertations ot the bayonets and sabers of its defenders able din. and evidently the citizens of the minsters, but their hearts grew —in some oases jaunty and gay in the Gobb etown were not of that sort, for little lighter. The discussion was very able, but bravery of new material and bullion- they came running from every d ruction, quite too long to record. Some of the wrought device, in others simply a and very soon a goodly number had collected in a crowd about the orier, most impressive veins were as follows grim, war:battered old emblem, but in Minister Grow well was verv sure either case dear as life’s pulse to each and were eagerly beseeching him to that if he knew the ogre's language other and every one in the regiment to tell them h s message. Now every intelligent citizen at Gob and could gain his attention, with the which each color res actively belonged. bletown was quite convinced in his aid of his rhetofic and his elocution, It may be recoils t -d that at the battle heart of hearts that he knew exac ly he could readily demonstrate to the of Maiwand, in Afghanistan, in which what the crier was going to say. Had monster how disgraceful was h’s con a certain infan ry regiment was am not the same event taken place, and duct, and persuade him to leave them bushed, but could have escaped were it been proclaimed, in the same manner, forever in peace This sounded very not that the enemy devoted all hisener- at the same time, every year within the fine an I plausible, but as Crow well gies to the capture of the colors, the memory of the oldest inhabitant, ever -did not know the ogre's language, and men stood by them in defense, and so since the wise Sage Longquill an there was a physical imp msibility of were completely annihilated—wiped oil nounced his wonderful discovery? his ever acquiring it. his remarks were the army list, as it were. Of course, the colors were lost. This decided the l’ray tell how any reasonable being of little practical value. could expect the inevitable to changi’ Minister Sharpspur thought if the War Office, and the order was issued particularly whim he had repeatedly knights would make a sudden simul that henceforth British soldiers must heard the Emperor and all his Minis taneous attack upon the fiend, that I tight without colors. It is, perhaps, not generally known ters assert the impossibility of such a they might compel him to surrender. thing. Nevertheless all were very The knights received this proposition that in the British service the colors with unboundedapplau.se , and were for i (two to each regiment) were always anxious to hear his proclamation, and excitedly followed him to the great imrae liately organizing a company, carried by commissioned ofiicers - public square in front of the Emperor's that they mightd>egiq drilling at once, generally the juniors as to service. palace, where he promised Io keep but the others began to dismade them. These colors were es :orted by a color Was not the ogre encased in armor guard consisting of the first or color- them no longer in suspense. The empire of Gobbleland was in the against which their sharpest weapons lergeants of each company, who were Now, in power of a mighty ogre, who left it were futile, and was not his face, the j ilso the pay sergeants. very much under tho control of its le only exposed part of his body, three ' iction. in case the color-bearers were gitimate rulers the greater part of the times tneir own height above them, «hot down, there was always great year; but at a particular season, which quite out of their reach? Then, too, i emulation on the part of other officers he called Thanksgiving, he and his they must not onlv subdue him but to seize and bear them aloft, thus offer- s -rvants invaded it and carried away conquer his servant. They at length , ing themselves as ne-dless targets for all the brave young knights, thereby saw the hopelessness of the case, but ‘ snterprising sharpshooters. This sort rendering the inhabitants quite de they declared bravely that they would of thing might be repeated till all the fenceless, should they be attacked by try. and whatever fate was in store for ifficers were placed hors du combat, their enemies, the Geesians, or their them, die fighting for their liberty and when of course, the real back-bone of ■ the regiment (the non-commissioned small but very numerous foe, the their country. Minister I^ngplume was of the opin itaff) would bo expected to take com Cacklors. However, this was rather a visionary ion that the monster must be suscep mand; but if the color-bearers were danger, since the empire was sur tible to the influence of beauty—when «wept off it would be quite likely that rounded by an immense wall, five times lie said this, all the mothers and sisters .he color-guard sharjed their fate, when as high as their tallest citizen, and and sweethearts present put their heads he regiment would quickly become made of narrow panels, of a material io one side, straightened themselves ike a snip without either a rudder or a they could not penetrate with their with a little conscious flutter, and pilot. Reasoning thus the magnates hardest instruments. These panels ooked modestly down—and if several I of the War Office decided that the were placed just far enough apart to of the handsomest knights, arrayed in ! -arrying of colors entailed a needless permit them a glimpse of the outside their gavest uniforms would wa t upon ' mortality among the most efficient world, but not far enough to allow the him -at this point all the mothers and members of a regiment, therefore the slightest possibility of escape. The sisters and sweethearts exclaimed in an practice must cease, as the army could one gate opened only at the magic indignant chorus: “Hear the vain fel tight well enough without them. The low! No doubt he wishes to lead them” itrangest part of .it all is, the rank and touch of the qgro. And now a word of explanat on con _ who knew with what good fortune file now cheerfully coincide with the cerning Sage Longquill and the dis- they might meet. Minister Longplump. views of their superiors. — C'er. Boston covory to which allusion lias be m bv the way, was considered quite the I Commercial Bulletin- made. The Sage was justly c insid- , handsomest of all the Gobbleton ans. Then came tho citizens' turn to cred the very wisest of all tho citizens FILLING OF SILOS. in Gobbletown, ipid there were many speak, and an expectant hush fell upon experiment« Proving the Fallacy •r a the assembly. Sud Isnly from the reasons why the palm should be yield d Commonly Accepted Theory. to him boremost among them was densest part of tho crowd, stepped a Two or three years ago Prof. Miles, the fact that he was born in the fall, tall, spare figure, slightly bowed with a circumstance which occurred so sel age. It was Sage Longquill. Cheer of the Massachusetts State College and dom in this land that it was quite upon cheer burst forth, until the whole Experiment Station, was lecturing and ••univalent to being a seventh daughter place rang with huzzahs. writing on this subject, and recom Hope ros • within every heart “He of a soventh daughter in other mending the'slow tilling of the silos to countries, and was sutficient in itself has not lived in seclusion all these years to command the good faith of the peo for nothing,” said one. "He has been allow much fermentation and conse- pie. r fasting!” exclaimed another, in awe i quently a high heat, so as to kill the Being born in September and the struck whisper. “He has something bacteria, which, as he claimed, caused visit of the ogre occurring two months to say, or he would not peril his life so the fermentation. He proposed to later, lie was then declared by that rashly,” thought tlioy all, wisely. , favor their rapid development and authority quite too young to lie of use Nor were they wrong. When all was consequent high heat, which heolaimed and so Was left behind. The sail scene silent he thus addressed the crowd: would be diflused through the entire Dear Friends: As you know, I have mass, and when it reached a certain which he then witnessed was impressed deeply upon his mind, and he im i'iven my life to the study of means to stage it would kill all the bacteria and mediately began studying every thing orward your cause and rescuo you thus prevent further deterioration. about him, hoping thus to discover from a pitiless enemy. I have now That is. he would make these germs some way of escape for himself and perfected a means of escape, and hav of ferment their own destroyers. his countrymen from this terrible foe. ing thoroughly tested it myself, can as This theory was new to most At tho next invasion, he had theacciimu- sure you of its value. Can you go farmers was accepted by and lated w sdom of his fourteen months without food seven days?" A dismal > many enthusiastic siloista as an labor stored safely in his brain, and ho groan rose from the crowd. 1 established fact. and by many it ••We should die then, surely,” said 1 was adopted in their practice on a large evidently made the best possible use of Targe it. for ho again escaped, while all the an i idignant Redcomb. Sage Long scale. But the receut experiments by other knights were torn from their af quill looked at him reproachfully. Prof. Goessmann seem to indicate the fectionate families, to suffer, as they “You have forgotten poor Sharpbill, had good reasons to suppose, an who was just able to gasp out his story, fallacy of such theory. Prof. Goess mann filled two small silos of similar ignominious death* with scarcely a when, wounded to death, we found capacity with like corn, excepting that moment left them in which to speak him lying in this vory square. You their parting words. have forgotten how he escaped the one of them was filled as rapidly as' possible, trodden solid and at onoe Longquills heart was very sad when clutch of the ogre, and took refuge in a weighed, while the other silo was filled ho saw the sorrow about him. and» he tree, by means of which he afterward slowly, only trodden sufficiently to level retired to n secluded nook, determined reached the top of our wall, and fell it and not covered until it had reached to it. vote his whole life to the release from there to the spot upon which he a high heat Tho result was that the of his race from its enemy. The peo- breathed his last My friends, would silo which was filled rapidly, covered fde considered his escape as little less you die the death of Sharpbill?” and weighed at once, did not attain than a nwsote. and henceforth regarded Redcomb was silenced, and Long near so high a heat m the one filled him with much reverence. Th >ir faith quill continued: “Fasting thus is not slowly, and the contents of the one in him increased, and some of the impossible for any of you. I have done rapidly filled was found to be in a much boldest declared confidentially to t lyeir it repeatedly. Tho ogre this morning better stats of preservation, of better bosom friends, that the world would sent us the usual present of food. Let color and better relished bv the stock, hear from voungLongquill vet. When us not touch or taste it.” A faint cheer tho time of the next annual vis t was arose, which gradually grew louder and chemical analysis indicated it to he of a h gher nutritive value than the near, Longquill, through the influence and louder, as the knights realized other. It was also found that it was of a friendly minister, was granted an what a fine thing it would be to live impossible to maintain a uniform high audience with the Emperor. another vear. Who knew what glori heat through the entire mass. It is With throbbing heart he knelt before ous deeds they might achieve in that evident that the cold wells absorbed h.m and b'gged his Majesty's per time. much heat from the siloe. The best So it was agreed that none should ensilage ever seen came from a rapidly mission to state that ha had discovered that fourteen days before the ogre's touch the food the ogre sent, and that tilled silo. — A". Y. Hera'iL visit he sent them very generous pres- all should live upon three grains ot ents of food. The Emperor nodded. food a day. Seven days from that —A Concord school philosopher He remembered, now Longquill spoke night they began their fast and kept it of it. that he had noticed the same faithfully. Soon the best of fr ends makes it as plain as the noonday sun thing hiiusclf. By mcasur ng the food hardly recognized each other, so when he says that there are many; and carefully computing the time by change I all were. The quick step be there is one. and their unity by the oneness of the many enables us to methods of their own. they could ex came slow, the bright eyes dull, and grasp the manyness of the one in the actly determine the fatal day Long- death seemed very near to many: but qiiil. called the Emperor's attention to even that was better than to perish at threefol Iness of its totality.—-V. Y. Graphic. th.» fact, and added that it would allow tho hands of tho ogre. When the fatal - - _ e the |wople to prepare themselves for day arrived, he came aa usual, bring ng — Baited Squ ish : Remove the seeds the ordeal, and possibly it might some his servant with him. and soft parts, leaving on the rind; Great was his consternation and dis season with salt and a little pepper and time enable them todiscover more con cerning the ogre »method of pro •eiiure. may when he beheld the citizens totter baste occasionally with butter. If one The Emperor, who was a clear iag feeblv about, or lying prostrate, is roastiug b'-sf. put it in the pan with headed, upright ruler, was not slow to gasping for breath, the food he had the meat, but it can be baksd without •*« the advantage that in ght be gained »••nt lying »cattered about, untouched. ■ meat, if more convenient —The House- from LonruuilPa discovery, and. an With great strides they »talked over I hold. ••SOMETIME.’* RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL. —The American Sunday-school Union offers • premium of one thousand dol lar» for the beat book on the Christian obligations of property and labor.—-N. Y. Tribune. —Rev. P. S. Moxom, of the First Baptist Church, Boston, has adopted the gown in the pulpit It is said the gown was worn by Dr. Stillman and some other Baptist clergymen of his time.— Boston Journal. —President Seeyle, of Amherst Col lege, in a paper in the Forum asks why we should teach the life of Julius Cwsar in our schools and not that ot Jesus Christ. —There is no real merit simply in sitting in a rocking chair and reading the Bible. Some people do nothing with their religion except billiously to enjoy their misery with it. — Christian Union. — Three years ago tho Congregation- aliato had no German church in any Western city of influence. To-day they have churches in St. Louis, Chicago and Springfield, Mo., and promising mis sions in Kansas City and Omaha.— Chi- cayo Times. —The people of SantaFe, N. M.. art going to establish a monument to tin memory of Helen Hunt Jackson. I' will be the Ramona school for Indian girls—named after Mrs. Jackson’s nor el “Ramona.” —The tendency of relig'on is to puri fy and refine the ties of all human hap piness. And chastity is estimated to improve man and woman in all.the re lations of life. It tempers the passions, sweetens existence, and improves the heart.— Chicago Standard. —The Boston Record advises fresh men in college to keep a diarv through out the course. It is a fact that the diary for the first vear would be. as a rule, interest'ng, if written candidly. An account of a freshman's feelings when held under a pump or smoked out would be harrowing enough to turn s small boy's hair gray. —The number of those who pass the entrance examinations of Yale College and do not enter is increasing. The reason given is that pupils present themselves for examination without i“ tent on of entering, simply for the honor; but it is rather hard for the pa tient professors, who this year examined 4.800 papers, averaging at least five sheets to each paper. —The rise and progress of the Free churches in Scotland is something re markable. In 1843 there were 500 Free churches, in 1885 there were 1,100, a gain of 600; in 1843 there were 485 Vifteil Presbyterian churches, in 1885 there were 550, again of 115; in 184,’ there were 100 Congregational churches, in 1885 there were 180: in 1843 there were 50 Baptist, Wesleyan, etc., churches, in 1885 there were 80, a gain of 30; making a total ol uùurcaes iu 1885 of 1,915, against 1,085 in 1843. —Rev. Joseph Scott's waggish pro pensities are well known. He preached at Trinity Church Sunday, and didn't get to the pulpit until the people had finished singing the opening doxology and resumed their seats. He went through the other preliminary exercises without any reference to his delay, bu. as he came forward to begin his sermor he remarked: “I am very seldom late at church; my horse gave out this morn ing, and I had to walk. You will find my text in Psalms, xxxii.. 9: ‘Be ye not as the horse or as the mule, who have n< understanding.’”— Springfield <Mass. Republi an. WIT AND WISDOM. —Good thoughts are no better ttaii good dreams unless they arc executed. — One of the finest qualities is tha: nice sense of delicacy which renders if imposs ble for one to be an intruder oi bore. —A harsh voice, a coarse laugh — trifles l.ke these have suddenly spoiled many a favorable first impression. The cultivation of the heart must be real, not feigned.—N. K. Post. —As they who for every slight in firmity take physic to repair their health do rather impair it. so do they who for every trifle are ready to vindi cate their character do rather weaken it — Baptist Weekly. —What he bought.— ACTION or THE HEABT. In natful aleep th« heart alow* up and LU tieate number ten leas «very minute— six hundred ess every hour, and in the usual time allotted to sleep, eight hour», four thousand eight hundred leas than the number given In the aame period of wake- fu'urnV This mean a rest to that wonder ful organ, a eat that realores Its powera and enables it to discharge lie functions n a mure healthful and vigorous manner. The cases of Jieart disease which have been cured by the use of Compound Oxy gen, aa administered by Dn. Starkey & Palen, sea very interesting study. They all report insomnia relieved as a beginning and then go on to tell how the palpitat uu gradual y was relieved ana the act'on of the heart became regular and comfortable. If the action of the heart be kept up to ull working capacity bv wakefulness the time cam ot be far off when it will wear itself uut, and the palpitation and flutter whi< h cause so much trouble may therefore, with good reason be f ared. A treatise on Compound Oxygen, giving the mode of action and results of this remarkable cura tive agent, will be sent free. Address Dre. S tarkey & P alen , 1529 Arch St., Phila delphia, Pa. One of their patlente Rev. L. H. Morey, Seneca Falls. N. Y., says, in a letter dated October 12 11-85: "I thiuk it must be a year or luore since I purchase a Compound Oxygen Home Treatment And used it up. I am confident it did me a great deal of good in throat an heart troubles; the fluttering and nain irequently experienced in i he heart, have uot touched me for months. I did not thl k of Compound Oxygen for that trouble, but used it for throat catarrh. The distressing heart trouble has certainly left me.” In a letter dated October 3b, he adds: "With the ex ception of a cold, contracted since I la-t wro'e you, I am in perfect health. What gratifies me most is niy complete deliver ance front pain in the region of the heart, and from frequent and distressing flutter ing or palpitation of the heart, from which I suffered for years; It used to trouble me •■o much that I could not sleep on my left side; and frequently I would start up in bed, and have to sit up till the sensation had passed the sensation was u ually accompanied by faintness. Now I sleep on either side, and have not for months, had a return of either the pain or the fluttering. I used the Compound Oxygen tor possible help to lungs, throat, and catarrh, especially t e latter. I believe the Compound Oxygen to be a nerve and brain restor. r; at least, I work profes sionally with surprising and unwonted freedom from exhaustion.” Orders for the Compound Oxygen Home Treatment will be tilled by H. A. Mathews, 615 Powell Street, San Francisco. U’# You get more comfort L^von^eel Stiffener. th.n Old Material la taken on acco«., Palmer tk R«y: reaiember thl» fict ’”1 Th« best cough medicine la Piao'.r for Consumption. Sold everywhere To feel free, pleasant and be kealth, Irish May Flower. 75 cents at dru^ If afflicted with Sore Eyes, um Dr Thompson'« Eye Waler. Lfruuuhu aellii a ••THE FAVOKITK -.-A NEW PAM, CVTTEK This Paper Cutter is the be t medh. priced 3U-iuch cutter over offered trade. It is strong. It is substantial. It is ruled to inches. It is all iron and steel. It has front and back gauge*. It cuts accurately. Cuts NO Ina-hea. Kept In stock by Portland. Or. Price, HJ». PALMER 4 REY, P rintki W S vph ]* TO NEWSPAPER MEN. Palmer & Rey, Type Founder« end P m Dealers, make special uuotat ion» on Tye and Printing Material to Pun-hiienJ the Northwest. Nos. 112 and 114 street, Portland. Oregon. __ You can secure the best price« ig terms from Palmer & Rey. Abiolutfiy free from Opiate», Emetic» and Ptit» sure ’. PROMPT. A t D buwointn ajtd — D malcrb . THE UH ARLEN A. TOGELER CO., BALTIIOIKDl The Treasury Department has estab lished value of coins with holes punched in them as follows: Double eagles, fifteen dollars: Bilver dollars, seventy-five cents; half-dollars, thirty-five cents; quarter dol lars, eighteen cent-; dimes, five cents. THE ONLY WAY TO CONQUER DY8PEP8IA. It is perfectly preposterous to introduce pepsin and other artificial solvents into the stomach, in the expectation that they will assist digestion by acting on the food itself. They will not. Nor is it possible thus to overcome dyspepsia The only way to conquer that disorder, and pre vent numerous diseases and.’disabilities which it assuredly provokes, is to renew the activity of gastric action by strengthening the stomach. Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters eradicates the moat inveterate forms of indigestion by restor ing vitality io the aliuieiitary organs, and inuse which are tributary to them. The liver, the bowels, the kidneys and the nerves, no less than the stomach, experience the invigorative effects of that standard tonic, which possesses alterative properties that great’y enhance its beneficial influence, and give a permanence to its effects which they would not otherwise possess. M. de Lesseps has given $400,0' 0 forgov- ernment land along the Suez canal, to be used in the work of widening the waterway GEM nr S >■ Rheumatitm, NtonlA i A I* n U A ■ I n Cures B****«»**, HMd.rU, TMiUk rDi rS II pÄM.-nvTv’Mh ■ vi ■ Atlll AT ORI G0IST8 AND DUllM, IHh CUAKLU ▲.■V<yiEL£U Cl*.. «Al.’nÌ1URK.1*. A. FELOENHEIMER J EWELER The Leading and Reliable Of Portland, Oregon (Cor. First and Morrison 8to), "DON'T PAY A BIG PRICE!” COUNTRY ORDKRN MOLICTTU Panic for a Vear’« subscription to the THE NEW CA8T AJAX TINNERS' tHHU Vi) tCIllb Weeklv American Kami Home. Rochester, N. Y„ without premium-“the Cheapest and Best Weekly in the World.’’ 8 pa*e8, 48 columns, 16 yean old. For One Dollar you have one choice frpm over 150 different Cloth Bound Dollar Volumes, 300 to 900 pp., and paper one year, post-paid .Book postage, 15c. Extra. 50,000 books given away. Among them are: Law Without Lawyers: Fam Length of Cutting E-lgea, 2 Inches. IPat. Appl'iM Carefully made, well finished, edges ily Cyclopedia: Farm Cyclopedia: Farmers’ and Stockbreeders Guide; Common Sense in Poul- hard as steeL equal to the best steel goods Is m MI | try Yard; World Cyclopedia: Danelson’s (Med qualities We guarantee them to be pracMcaUy M g as the moat expensive articles. 0HBOKX • ical! Counselor; Boys Useful Pastimes; Five AND ER. 628 Market Street, opp. Palace HoUl IX Years, Before the Mast; People’s History or ‘•United States; Universal History of all Na Mechanic*’ Tools. H r rd ware and MachiMn tions; Popular History Civil War (both sides.) Any onk book and paper, one year. aU post paid, for SI. 15 only. Paper alone, 65c. Satisfac tion guaranteed on books and Weekly, or WITH THZ money refunded. Reference: Hon. C. R. P.AR8ONS, Mayor Rochester. Sample papers, 2c. PETALUMA IHCIIUW RURAL HOME CO., L td ., —Tsisest- Without Premium, 65c.a year! R ochkst ’ r .N.Y. Snccc»fnl Maehls» Ml* HATCH CHICKENS, 3 Gold Medal« ISUniXa "THE OLD RELIABLE" GORDON Job Press is the strongest. Registers accurately, at high speed. Is the easiest running press in the market, Is sold at a figure within reach of all. Has patent throw off and chase-hook. Palmer & Rey, Portland, have all sizes on hand. Is made in two sizes -8x12 and 10x15— with throw- off. For sale by Palmer & Bey at prices A country merchant bouirht H EE: What did he purchase. It you please? that defy competition. Address Palmer Thnt's easy. He bought a cheese.— & Bey, Printers’ Supplies, Portland, Or. San Francisco Alla. — “John.” said an anxious wife, . NOT ONLY THE NATIONAL DISEASE BUT “they tell me you are running your MANY OTHERS. business into the ground. How is it?” It is said that dyspepsia Is our national “Maria. I am.” “John, do you think malady. Well, B randrkth ' s P ili .» will it pays?" “No, Maria, the 1 ghtning- ; cure the national malady. rodbusiness isn't what it used to be.”— - It is said that constipation is the curse Tid-Bils. of our sedentary life. Well, B randrbtr ' f —Fond Mother (to bachelor uncle)— P ills certainly cure constipation. Why. John, don't let the baby play with It in generally conceded that rheumatism that gold toothpick. He'll swallow it. comes from , acid stomach and sudden Bachelor Uncle—Oh. that won’t do anv changes of temperature. B randrkth ’ s harm. I have a string t ed to it, so 1 P iija have corrected all this and will do it again. can't lose it — Life. Chronic diseases are cured by taking —A lady having spoken sharply to two to four of B randrkth ’ s P ills every Dr. Parry," apologized by saying:" “It night for a month. is the privilege of women to talk non Irish May F ower.theking of discoveries sense.” “No, madam, it is not their privilege, but their infirmity. Ducks would walk if they could, but nature sutlers them only io waddle.”— N. Y. I e 2? Bera I. What is the matter with Susie HUMORS, Wales?" asked Mrs. Snaggs of her bus band. “ She is suffering from ophthal Blemishes mia, I believe," replied Mr. Snaggs r-. a H o r—’< ••There. I thought James was wrong. birthmarks He said she had something the matter with her eyes.” — Tid Bits. — “Here is a list of books to take t< R CLEANSING THE SKIN and Scalp of the mountains or sea-side.” remarked le »“d Birth Humors, for allayintt Mr. Snooper, looking up from his pa]>er ‘'■ch I ‘ .n,antl n*' Burnl*K “d Inflammatfon, for curing of Eczema, I Sori Mia Milk “and they have actually omitted th< !L’ "i of Scroful*. and other Inherited most important of them all.” “ Whai akin and ti blood dheaoee. book have thev omitted ?’’ asked Mrs , CvTicURA.the great Skin Cure,and Cuncuna °i£ ?n Beautifler, externally SQooper. “Tne pocket-book."— Pitt> and CVTicuna RnoLvnxT, the new Blood Puri burgh Telegraph. fier. internalbr, are infallible. —“ I want some dve stuffa.” said tii ' old lady, as she entered the drug sior- | “All right, ma'am,” said the new bo promptly, “we can give you arsen • i strvelinine. chloroform, laudanum. a< AM Send flor "How to Core Skin biseases.” if you want something right sudd« i | * pains' Soanes« and JWL . JJ, *JI*edily cured by CUTICTIM tor family use. I can put yon up a i \xri I a i\ Pi^aTKn. Warranted, iftc. of >ottie new Hannibal whisky with t reim-nieal floatin’ in 1L” But the <b ot mad and wouldn't be app>-it I h i' « — 'he got maader and mad Bur e le. y Cutie ura r I Bronchial Troclas." |i and! le Sam yv HO Up SI UNNVILi STI Th( lared to f J M’ rery, Fi Corner Th ■ad 13 Flrrt Premium _ Price, »20 oo. HATCHES Ml ma»» , _ ZW Send foi largo nluetraWd Ctronbrasd *••* »on mi; get an Incubator FBF.E. Addreea PETALUMA INCUBA TOR 00., Pit*« Cal.__________ ___________________________ THE BEST foe Best : imptly Att RPH Strictly toodfn Chur dairy rphi tonsoi Sm clam, a cl •t • elaaa *»« »uth ot It la mor. hlahlr raflnad th»n karmfal in<ro<Ti.nta found in moat aioeod ; thorafora, it ia tb» aafeet to aa> — It ia frM from lima and pan aeajaa so at ft! n«. Iti» th. atronseat, and »»•»”" th. moat economical. , _ .— u Il diaaolvM vw» oaailr. therWort apoil butter hr tbo Fritti partictoa. aa ottaa — wna with oth.r Bait. K^Wtomal Common Balt is too riot» for anfhodTW aiakinjHutter. 'lh»poorwtfam>ha»»*J’1,|g Halton tb.ir tabi.that th.» w that that ia th. moat healthy and ' •’•-WLrflf HOLMES’ EXTRA BIFTFD SALTia*» ’toVJÿ-M. -* r pound P£ u- ** ' CL ■. WMTITWET A f - fMHa Oaart Aflaa».. IM aad IM Oal*<* ■am Franetee. DR. TOUZEAU’S french SPECIFIC M cmin : irorty two u H tar tel in nine montl "Keep your Inn old judgi rer; "keep y fnt deal mot I else." [The widow f®< of Tilto thousand do I* rectory Fch in that r b large sui r used for th* bn.