Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Telephone=register. (McMinnville, Or.) 1889-1953 | View Entire Issue (July 27, 1886)
M’MINNVILLE, OREGON, JULY 27, 1886
minor notes, lhe swish of the leaves
against the roof*sounded not unlike the
wash of waters on a sandy shore. Hew a Little Care May Subserve the lle.t
Through the half-closed shutters the
Iteaulte In Tillage. |
If we bad lived io younger day.,
fragrant west wind carried into the
EVERY TUESDAY AND FRIDAY
When minstrels sang their ladies' praise
The object of planting trees or
In listening courts to Kings—
silent apartment something of the
Wtnit music from the rapturad str ngi
freshness of the budding spring. The groups of trees is to secure some spe
I then hnd won to name her faca
Salient had not moved for some time ll al protection to fields from sweeping
And peerless grace!
fear the bed. fanning herself with winds to the injury of crops, shelter for
In those brave days, when knightly love
monotonous movement of the hand, animals against storms, the protection
Fared forth its constancy to prove—
while the thin, sleepy song ot Ute in os of homesteads, outbuildings, and farm
If we had lived, how gladly I
Publisher, and Proprietors.
Had faced the foe and tourney cry
quito, the first of the season, started yards from gales, aud protection of
To meet brave death or deathless fame
the fan going with more energy, and
lu her dear name!
then as it died away the nurse would railway cuts from drifts of snow. Fail
But since we are condemned by fate
. 1 25
into a semi-comatose state, her ure in the accomplishment of the ob
To walk the earth so sadly late—
eyes fixed on the sick man. He made jects sought is due not to the relia-
1 lav aside both lance and rhyme,
And in the manner of the time
no motion, even his nostrils seemed no b'.lity of the agent employed, but that
Entered in the Postoftice at McMinnville, Or.,
To prove what passion in me thiills,
as second-class matter.
more to contract or dilate with his often both the means used and the plan
1—pay her bills!
respirations. A predatory dragon fly, are deficient. A single illustration w 11
-F. B. Bard,
called by the children “mosquito suffice:
SUCiAH-M AKI (NU.
■ 1 ■■
” had drifted in through the
Certain crops in a field are to be pro
How the Ha charlne Matter Is Extracted
THE WITHERED HAND. hawk,
blinds anil was rustling his tissue paper tected.
A single line of evergreens is
From Canes or Root».
wings against the ceiling, making quite planted.
As growth proceeds these
The process of “sugar-inaking,” in
lorm an impenetrable barrier to the
its essentials, is a simple enough matter A Son Cursed for Striking a Dead the chamber.
winds. This will shelter the field only
of cookery. The first care of the pro
Presently there was the sound of a in proportion to the hight of the bar
rier, and the wind in leaping this ob
ducer is to get all the sugar possible
closer as the visitor moved down the struction where it again strikes the
out of the cane or grass or root, either
A stroll along the river front in the great hallway. The intruder seemed ground acts w th far more violence
by squeezing out the juice or washing upper portion of New Orleans calls up to hesitate as he approached the sick
than if there had been no barrier at all.
out the sugar; the sugar-maple saves the many changes that have there been man’s room. This was,
however, but If the trees had been planted in groups
the sugar-maker this trouble, dcliver'ng wrought within the last thirty years. I short, for with slow, unsteady
’ r move- along the margin of the field to be pro
the sap ready for the boiler. The juice Many old and well-known landmarks ment the knob Turned and tin le door tected the velocity would have s mply
eyes and been checked, its destructive force
is then cleaned of its impurities, as have entirely disappeared, and in the opened. With ’bloodshot eve
coffee is cleared by the white of an egg, race of commerce new structures and bloated face, there stood the cause of broken, and protect on from injury
all this domestic sorrow. He had ad would have extended for a long dis
or water is filtered through charcoal; new disposition of old ones have been vanced several paces into the room be tance. Marshall truly observed that,
it is then boiled, to evaporate as much made, so that he who would seek to re fore the nurse recognized him. She “ The operation of screen plantations is
of the water as possible, and crystallize
immediately arose and went to him. not merely that of giving shelter to the
the solid sugar; it,is then cooled, and
She begged he would not awaken the animals lodg ng beneath them, but
the molasses drained off. leaving the
sleeping invalid. She pleaded with likewise in breaking the uniform cur
soft dark sugars, in which each crystal i two or three remaining landmarks him to withdraw, but without avail. rent of the wind, shattering the cut
has its thin coating of molasses, or that the old resident might recognize, He had come for money, he said, and ting blasts, and throwing them into
dried by a centrifugal machine as and one of these is a grove of tall pecan he would not leave without it He had edd es, thus meliorating the air to some
clothes are dried in the whirling drier, trees. It is true that is it trespassing suffered long enough in the city, ¿ stance from them.”
whence the water flies out, or further somewhat upon the rightful significa whilst all at home reveled in luxury.
Many years ago Dan'el Webster, in
clarified and left to crystallize in tion of the word “grove” to use it as He needed money, and money he would the improvement of his Marshfield
white loaves, which are sawed or crushed descriptive of the few dilapidated trees have. Pushing aside the negro woman farm, was fully advised on correct pr.n-
or ground or powdered into the several that yet remain. Yet they are veterans he went to the bedside. His father ciples in avoiding the planting of lines
varieties of tine white sugar. Most of ami deserve to carry the name of their made no movement at his approach. of trees impervious to the wind.
these earlier processes are performed on whilom brigade; and though they do The young man looked down at the need these lines of trees in a prairie
the plantation, but in many cases they not make a grove now, they represent thin, emaciated figure, so unlike the pountrv be without sufficient value to
repay their cost, when the plant ng
are repeated and the sugar carried wh"' was one years ago.
portly, soldierly man he had known.
through the final process in the great
Steadying himself by the bedpost, in may extend to a width of four rods, es
jnce a large and spacious planta
refineries. “Refining” is, in fact, little tion residence stood in the midst of stammering voice the sun addressed pecially if evergreens and deciduous
more than a finer repetition of the pro this leafy cloud. When the sun was his father: “See here! I’ve stood this trees be mixed as they should be.
cesses of “making,” and to do these low its rays were reflected from the thing as long as I am going to. I’m While yet young, the trees planted in
simple things on a great scale and in the large front windows, so that from this entitled to money from you and I am rows, six feet between by four feet in
best way is the sole purpose of those side of the river the building seemed going to get it. Are you going to give the rows gives ease in horse cultiva
enormous bee-hives of industry.
to be in flames, and as the light grew Hie some? That’s what I want to tion. The evergreens and deciduous
trees may either be alternated in the
The sugar-niaker’s first aim is to get redder and redder the likeness to a know. Yes or no!”
from the cane as much of its percentage conflagration became more noticeable.
The son gazed down in the father’s rows, breaking direct spaces, however,
or planted in direct lines, each variety
of juice as it can be induced to give up. I The roof was hidden in the dense face, but no answer came.
The ju’ce is enclosed in little cells of masses of foliage, but even from a dis
“1 want an answer. I allow no one by itself. The trees protect each other
lignose, or woody fibre, which make the l tance the broad verandas and heavy to refuse to answer me. Do you hear?” while young, and being gradually
thinned out as they acquire size,
other tenth of the. cane’s weight. There brick pillars could be distinguished Still there was no answer.
are three ways of extracting the juice— easily. It was the home of a well-to-
“Then take that!” A sharp, quick the cuttings are useful for summer
by crushing, by soaking out the sugar do Creole gentleman, who had been slap resounded through the house. wood, and the poles are valuable for
by tlie process of “diffusion,” or by a singularly fortunate both m a planter The cheek that received it did not tin various uses on the farm.
combination of crushing and macera over the river and a business man in gle, nor did it flush under the stinging lodges among them instead of piling in
tion in water. Crushing or grinding the city. That no unpleasant family insult.
The young man eyed the irifts, and l es evenly beyond instead
the cane is a process in use from the memories may be awakened we will sleeper as a hawk would its prey. »f being blown along the field until it
earliest limes, as is seen in the primi call him Aristide Riviere.
Then there came over his face a deadly meets -ome obstruction.
If every prairie farm had an average
tive sugar mills of the East, which con
Educated in France, he returned to pallor, and staggering away from the •it one-tenth of its area so planted
sist of the hollowed stump of a tree, Louisiana in 1821, just as he completed bed be muttered: ‘‘Mv God, he’s
within which is a grinding pestle worked his majority. He was by nature well dead.” The nurse shrieked to alarm along its boundary, the be<t results in
by oxen treading their round, driven fitted to bear the title won by his an the household. Then there was confu tillage would be subserved, and the re
from the arm of the bar by one man, cestors. Dignified in comportment, sion in the ball. Servants were run maining nine-tenths would raise more
while another feeds in pieces of cane, frank and generous in his disposition, ning about distraught. Every body crops than the whole area without this
one by one, and takes out the crushed ever ready to help the needy or redress was calling on every body else to go protection. A French commission ap-
remains. A mill almost as primitive as a wrong, he was beloved by all who for the doctor. Pale faces and half ; o'nied some years ago to investigate
this matter reported that the best re
this is still in use in Arkansas.
knew him. It was said of him that in clothed forms rushed down the corri
The sugar-house on a great planta face of danger he was undaunted, and dor. Etienne Riviere sought to make sult in tillage was where twenty-five
tion is a large, high building, the center i ; in scenes of distress as tender as a wo his way out, but was confronted by his percent, of the country was occupied
of the farm, to which roads or tram man. Marrying, when only twenty- 1 mother and sisters. It was a pitiful bv t inber.— Chicano Tribune.
ways lead in all directions.
As a load three, one of the beauties of the lower j scene. With downcast eyes he stood
of cane comes up, it is fed upon an end coast, the union was blest with seven before them and th* nurse told what
—A new method of illumination was
less belt or railway, which carries it up children, of which four were boys. ¡she lmd witnessed. No one opposed spoken of in a story published recently.
■lowly to the crushing-mill, an affair of Like their father, these young gentle his going then. All shrank from him The author depicted a "long, low
simple construction but of enor- | men were sent to France for education. and he found hi* way open to the room, made cheerful by a widow at
mous power. The crushers are great 1 Probably there was no domestic circle door. As he slunk down the front each end.”— Philadelphia Press.
rollers of east-iron, in pairs or trip- i in Louisiana around which there was steps the old nurse followed him, giv
—The estimated loss in Douglas
lets, sometimes one set, sometimes i clustered
more happy associations. ing full vent to her indignation and County from hog cholera is forty-five
more, working at a pressure of from His sons were as near to him as if they | horror in profuse maledictions.
thousand dollars. This is the worst
fiftv to eighty pounds to the square inch, |
“Leave!” said she. "Go! and suffer visitation to farmers in Kansas since
were brothers, and such was the per
and so arranged as to give slightly be- fect
community of feelirg that even 'all your days. That hand that struck the grasshoppers in 1874-5.— Chicago
fore any extraordinary strain. There ' the business
the day was freely dis a dead father will wither at yourside.” Times,
are all sorts of opinions as to whether cussed at the of dinner
i In the vocabulary of her negro Creole
—In New York when the elevated
it is better to crush once only or to re
One of the sons, urged by a mother’s ! patois she could find no terms strong roads were built horse car stock fell in
peat the operation with increasing pride,
commenced the study of law in enough to express her feelings, and so value.
Now, however, the elevated
The juice flows from the
with a sweeping motion of her arm
crushers in one direction; the residual New Orleans under a well known law she drove the unnatural son from th* roads are worked to the limit of safety,
He made rapid progress, and his
yet the horse cars were never so
cane, now known as “begass,” is car yer.
crowded.— if. Y. Times.
ried off in another by an endless belt, to prospects were regarded as exceedingly
—It would seem that Nutfield, in
be used either for dressing for the cane brilliant by his friends. He look apart seen on the right bank of the Missis
in the city “to be,” as he said,
Surrey County, Eug., is the most
fields or as fuel in the heating processes ments
"nearer the courts.” The temptations
healthy spot in the world, a. the rector
which the juice is next to undergo. One of
city life soon began to lure him away | New Orleans, delegations from neigh has announced that, with a population
of the great improvements in modern from
boring parishes, troops of the poor who
sugar-niakin» has been the development viviality and pleasure led him from that had received aid from the bands of the of one thousand two hundred, only one
of furnaces which get most of their fuel
, lamented dead, followed the hearse male died last year, and he was eighty
from thebegass.— R. R. Bowker, in Har- jealous mistress, the law, and it was down the road to the little cemetery of eight years old.
—The much-abused drug clerk is not
ents were shocked to learn that he had J McDonoghville. It was a day of sor
A Discreet Customer.
failed utterly in his examination for the row in many households, and when the the only person liable to accidents with
Customer to florist—Do the flowers bar. By that easy inclined plane, lead dead was laid away the sobs of a hun poisons. A recent case is cited at
ing to depravity, he moved gradually dred slaves in a chorus of lamentation «eannette, La., in which a father of
that bloom in the-----
Drink and cards wrought their broke upon the ear, so weird and wild two sick children gave the medicine
Florist (sternly) —Sir?
old Mons. Aristide Riviere few could restrain their feelings. Those prescribed for each of them to the
Customer—I said do the flowers that
called upon to settle the who were present lay that few such other, thus killing both children.
—An elevator boy is authority for
of his profligate son. j scenes were ever witnessed.
Florist (sotto voce)— John, is Towser
It would be unpleasant to chronicle the statement that ladies never thor
loose and the sand bag in the cash The humiliation of the family was such much of the career of Etienne Riviere. oughly become accustothed to the ele
that none of them continued to visit the
drawer where I can reach it?
But one fact, which of itself is some vator. No matter how often they ride
John, in a whisper—Yes, sir; 'an' city. In their retired home they suf what remarkable if only as a coinci- up and down they invariably catch
Towser ain't eat nothin’ sence yester fered in silence the deep chagrin ■ denctf, is necessary to tell. For two their breath when the elevator starts
brought upon tbem by the once promis
I years after his father's death he re on its downward Journey.— Chicago
Florist—Well, sir. What did you sav? ing boy. At last such were the unprin mained sober, and seemed to be re Times.
Customer—I wanted to know if flow
solved to lead a better and truer life.
—me latest danger to sewing women
ers that bloom in the early part of the be was refused admittance to his Finding work with a well-known is reported by Dr. Arthur v. Megis,
year will bloom again later?— Pittsburgh
who tells of a case of marked lead pois
longer honored. This produced no ef
fect. Night brawls and protracted pe worked faithfully for two seasons, when oning in a tailor, which he attributes
to the use of sewing silk treated with
riods of intoxication succeeded one
No Time to Lose.
another, until at the age of twenty ing. Partial paralysis set in and bis sugar of lead to give it weight, and es
Miss Longout—Mamma, I think I’ll eight the law student was an old man.
pecially to the habit of biting off such
Several times he endeavored to gain nant, withered away. The prediction thread. It is probable that many sew
accept young Snoopkins. He seems tn
be the best thing I have on the hooks bis mother's presence, but the slaves of of the old nurse was fulfilled to the ing women suffer from the fesults of
the household had orders to prevent his letter. The band that had smitten a j this habit, although the poisoning is
Mrs. L.—Why, my dear, you have entry on the premises. For about two dead father's cheek became a useless i not often produceain such intensity as
years matters were unchanged, at least burden to th* remorseful son. — Chas. to lead them to consult a physician.—
plenty of time before you.
Miss L.—You're mistaken, mamma; in the conduct of Etienne Riviere, the E. Whitney, in N. O. Times-Democrat. Chicago Herald.
—The newest parlor diversion of
I am failing rapidly. I know, because wayward son. On one, however, these
—In a recent lecture Prof. Virchow, wealth and fashion is not intellectual,
1 have heard several people say lately continued escapades wrought untoid
that I am “growing younger and agony. The proud and aristocratic of Berlin, stated that the Semitic race but it has the good quality of perfect
prettier every day.” I have no time to father began to fail. His wounded more readily adapts itself to a change innocence. It consists in throwing
amour propre brought on a spell of of climate than the Aryan, and that cards into a hat. A silk tile is set on
severe illness. For days and nights his the South Euro|>eans owe their advant the floor. The player takes a pack of
—Little Stuart had spent his first day anxious family watched at his bedside ages in this respect to the admixture of fifty-two playing cards, stands eight
S.-m tic Hood, through contact with feet distant, and endeavors to cast them
at school. “What did you lean.?” was expecting his death momentarily.
it was on an evening in May, and the Phoenicians and Arabs. The want one by one into the receptacle. The
his auntie's question. “Didn’t learn
anything.-' “Well, what did you do?” the last light of day cast feeble shadows of adaptability shows itself especially feat is not so easy as it seems, and
“Didn't do anything. There was a in the sick room. Outside in the pecan in d min shed fertility. Creoles die out there ia room for much axpertness.
woman wanting to know how to spell trees restless mocking birds were talk- after the third generation, or become Twenty out of a pack is a high average.
’cat,’ and I to!J her.”
— Chicago Tribune.
nr to one another in trills and soft absorbed with the natives.
WEST SIDE TELEPHONE.
Garrison'i Building. McMinnville. Oregon,
How the Miniature Repre»entation* of the
Earth Are Mau u far lured.
Our library and school educational
globes have, perhaps, been a puzzle to
many an inquisitive mind, they lieiug
bo light, so easily turned on their axis,
and so smooth as to appear more like
natural exact productions than mechan
ical constructions. The material of the
glole :s a thick, pulpy paper, .like soft
straw Isuird, and this isformedinto two
honf.spheres from disks. A tint disk is
cut in gores or radical pieces, from
center to circumference, half of the
gores being removed and the others
brought together, forming a hemispher
ical cup. These disks are gored under
a cutting press, the dies of which are so
exact that the gores come together at
their edges to make a perfect hemisphere.
The formation is also done bv a press
with hemispherical mold and die, the
edges of the gores being covered with
g'ue. Two of these hemispheres are
then united with glue and moitnted on a
wire, th“ ends of which are the two
axes of the finished globe. All this
work is done while the, paper is in a
moist state. After drying, the rough
paper globe is rasped down to a surface
by a coarse sand-paper, and then re
ceives a coat of paint or enamel that
will take a clean, smooth finish. The
instructive portion is a map of the
world printed in twelve sections, each
of lozenge siiape, the points extending
from pole to pole, exactly the same as
though the peel of an orange was cut
from stem to bud in twelve equal di
These maps are obtained in Scotland,
generally, although there are two or
three establishments elsewhere which
produce them. The paper of these
maps is very thin, but tenacious, and
is held to the globe by glue. The
operator—generally a woman—begins
at one pole, pasting with the left hand
and laying the sheet with the right,
work ng along one edge to the north or
other pole, coaxing the edge of the
paper over the curvature of the globe
with an ivory spatula, and working
down the entire paper to an absolutely
As there are no
laps to these lozenge sections, the
edges must absolutely meet, else there
would lie a mixed up mess, especially
among some of the islands of the great
archipelagoes and in the arbitrary polit
ical borders of the nations.. This is
probably the most exact work in globe
making, and yet it appears easy, be
cause the operator is so export in coax
ing down fulness and in expanding
scanty portions, ail the time keeping
resolute relation and perfect joining
with the other sections and to their
edges. The metallic work—the equators,
meridians and stands—is finished by
machinery. A coat of transparent var
nish over the paper surface completes
the work, and thus a globe is built,—
Christian al Work.
A DAKOTA DEAL.
Working Off* a Precious Piece of Property
On An Eastern Speculator.
A settler who has lived in Dakota sev
eral years has a son who went a* little
farther west in the Territory a few
months ago and took up some land.
Recently the son returned, and, after
staying at home a few days, took the
old gentleman to one side and said: •
“Father, I’ve got a pretty fine piece
of land out there.-’
■ I I«’ v • mighty
1 I I V go
kJ • S ld,
■ 1, William.”
“Yes, but 1 think i'll ■ I unload. I’ve
got a fiftv-foot weil dug, and now 1
want to ask your advice as to what I’d
“Well, a matter like this takes some
thought. I worked off a farm in Iowa
once on coal, and 'nother in Wisconsin
on gold. They’re gA.ting pretty old,
“Yes, that's what I thought, It’«
the same wav with silver and oil.”
“Yes, though I can remember the
time when there wasn’t nothin' like oil
for I he business. A good, steiulv-goin’,
reliable young man could pour a couple
o’ Imrrels uv petroleum down a bole
and clear ten thousand dollars on the
transaction in twenty-four hours. Times
ain't what they used ter be fer an in-
"No, 1 suppose not. father. I read
the other day of a man who did the bus-
ness with natural gas.”
"Natchral gas! That’s the idea! Give
me yer Kami, William, that’s the stuff
to discover! Just throw a dead boss
down that well uv yourn and wait a
couple uv weeks and shove yer farm
onto some spec'later from New York
for twenty thousand dollars! Go right
along t dav and tend ter it and. Bill,
remember that hon'sty's the best pol'cy
and don’t try to sell till the boss gets
to -moiling pretty strong. Just you fol
low in the footsteps uv yer old father,
my -on—lie aint got quite so much stylo
bout him as some uv those 'ere East
ern specTaters, but no man can sav he
ever done a dishonest act. Come back
snd make a good, long v'sit when you
et the deal closed!”— Estelline II). I’.)
• • •
—The following sentence, written oy
Alfonso, the late King of Spain, in the
autograph album of Mias Foster, the
daughter of our last Minister to that
country, will be read with special in
terest since bis death: “A la Señorita
Foster: El gefe de) pais de la tradición
y los remerdos, que es un etusiaata ad
mirador de las gigantescas creacione»
de la libre America, del pais del par-
venir. Alfonzo, Marzo, 1884.” The
translation of this is: “The chief ot
the country of tradition and memorie*
—who is an enthusiastic admirer of the
Íigantic accomplishments of free
merica. the country of the future.”
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL
— The first Presbyterian general at
semblv met at Philadelphia in 1789.
—No less iliau 18,061 young wome
are attending the several colleges in thl
—Forty-one thousand copies of th
Scriptures in the Turkish language hav
been distributed among the Musselmaiu
—President Eliot, of Harvard Univei
•Ity, has quietly ninped in the bud th.
plan to revive the ¡pine of football a
—The whole number of communi
cants in the Presbyterian Church it
1875-76 was 585,210; in 1884-85, 644,
025—a net increase of 108,815, or 20|
per cent, in ten years.
—There is reported to be one man it
the Freshman class at Yale who is the
eldest of nine brothers, all of whom in
tend to go through that college.
—A new technical school has been
established in Springfield, Mass,—th*
first of its kind in the country, or, in
deed. in the world. It is a “School of
Christian Workers.”— Boston Journal.
—Canon Farrar, in a lecture delivered
at Johns Hopkins University, put him
self in line with thoje who protest
against making the study of ancient
languages the chief business of college*
—Chorus choirs of male voices have
become the fashionable church music in
New York. There are six or seven
congregations which will begin this tall
their first experience in male choirs,
and the chorus of boys' voices is inorea»-.,
ing in popularity.— N. Y. Tribune.
—A “professor of walking” is said to
be a Canadian institution which might
be iniDorted with advantage to our ’
young ladies’ seminaries. Tho profes
sor takes young ladies out on long
tramps and compels them to adopt a
free, swinging gait, and carry their
shoulders properly.— Chicago Times.
—One Presbyterian Churoh, in Jor
dan Springs, Kan., has only one mem
ber. He is an elder, and the church is
reported as giving 91 to the Home Mis
sion cause, .fl to the relief fund foraged
ministers, and 55 cents to the expenses
of the Assembly. The pulpit is vacant.
Another church. In New York, has only
one member, but twenty Sunday-school
children aro reported.—St. Paul Press.
—The Woman's Missionary Society
in Dakota cut the knot, deciding to have
but one missionary society, with the
same set of officers, but with a variety of
functions. One day it is a foreign mis
sionary society, another day it is a home
missionary organization; the same, only
for the time facing another way.—A.
—Rev. Dr. C. R. Hale, Secretary of
the Joint Commission of the General
Convention on Ecclesiastical Relations,
has paid a visit to Norway and Sweden,
carrying with him, beside his own cre
dentials, letters from Lambeth and from
the Anglo-Continental Society. One of
his chief objects was to induce the mak
ing of more adequate provision for the
r> ligious needs of emigrants to the
—The CongregationalM records a case
of heathenism at Springfield. Mass.,
which is truly remarkable. It says: “A
little girl happened in a neighbor's
house one morning at the time of family
prayers. She was asked to stay, and
accepting the invitation, remained an
interested participant in the proceedings.
When they all rose from Kneeling she
startled the company with the exclama
tion: ‘I like this game first-rate. What
is the name of it?’ AJI this is said to
have occurred under the shadow of Hope
WIT AND WISDOM.
—Troubles spring from idleness, and
grievous toils from needless ease.
—The railroad engineer who ran into
Jumbo’s trunk is the champion bag
gage-smasher of the age.
—Good children are the hardest crop
to raise; it takes a kind home and tw.i
steady heads.— N. Y. Independent.
— Personal— Dear Ned, come back;
all is forgotten. Pa kicked the wrong
man, and didn't know it was you. '
Come immediately- May.
—The man, who is always ready to
condem Hie mother-in-law, should not
forget that aha had a mother-in-la v once
—“Willis's beat poems were written
in his boarding-house.” Another proof
that a pcson can write best when his
stomach is empty.— Kentucky State
—A beautiful new song is called “The
lame One on the Shore.” We never
knew till now how romantic a solitary
clam could be made to appear. — Bar
— A new comedy is called “The Girl
with a Tin Heart.” Nearly all the girls
have a tin heart when a young man
comes around with soft solder.— Louis-
til e Courier-Journal.
—“Dodge Brothers A Pray” is the
name of a San Francisco firm. In a
land where there are so many earth
quakes and drunken miners on a bender
their sign really looks very appropriate
to a stranger.- Somerville Journal.
The poor dude:
Th. melancholy liars have eoma,
With chirp of flrnsliie cricket;
The durto. In lieu of overcoat.
Is forced to wear the ticket.
—In some instances jealousy is a sign
of love, but it Is more frequently proof
overwhelming egotiom. In some
cases jealousy is proof of no love of any
kind, but is m rely Indicative of a bad
disposition.— Albany Jou. nal.