Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Telephone=register. (McMinnville, Or.) 1889-1953 | View Entire Issue (July 27, 1886)
SE1I1-WEEKLY TELEPHONE VOL. 1 M’MINNVILLE, OREGON, JULY 27, 1886 minor notes, lhe swish of the leaves STORM PROTECTION. against the roof*sounded not unlike the 1486-1886. wash of waters on a sandy shore. Hew a Little Care May Subserve the lle.t ----- Issued----- Through the half-closed shutters the Iteaulte In Tillage. | If we bad lived io younger day., fragrant west wind carried into the EVERY TUESDAY AND FRIDAY When minstrels sang their ladies' praise The object of planting trees or In listening courts to Kings— silent apartment something of the —IM— Wtnit music from the rapturad str ngi freshness of the budding spring. The groups of trees is to secure some spe I then hnd won to name her faca Salient had not moved for some time ll al protection to fields from sweeping And peerless grace! —BY — fear the bed. fanning herself with winds to the injury of crops, shelter for In those brave days, when knightly love monotonous movement of the hand, animals against storms, the protection Talninjfe Turner, Fared forth its constancy to prove— while the thin, sleepy song ot Ute in os of homesteads, outbuildings, and farm If we had lived, how gladly I Publisher, and Proprietors. Had faced the foe and tourney cry quito, the first of the season, started yards from gales, aud protection of To meet brave death or deathless fame the fan going with more energy, and lu her dear name! SUBSCRIPTION RATES: then as it died away the nurse would railway cuts from drifts of snow. Fail ..|2 00 One yea........................................ But since we are condemned by fate . 1 25 relapse into a semi-comatose state, her ure in the accomplishment of the ob Six months................................. To walk the earth so sadly late— .. 75 Three months............................ eyes fixed on the sick man. He made jects sought is due not to the relia- 1 lav aside both lance and rhyme, And in the manner of the time no motion, even his nostrils seemed no b'.lity of the agent employed, but that Entered in the Postoftice at McMinnville, Or., To prove what passion in me thiills, as second-class matter. more to contract or dilate with his often both the means used and the plan 1—pay her bills! respirations. A predatory dragon fly, are deficient. A single illustration w 11 -F. B. Bard, Ltft. called by the children “mosquito suffice: SUCiAH-M AKI (NU. ■ 1 ■■ » ” had drifted in through the Certain crops in a field are to be pro How the Ha charlne Matter Is Extracted THE WITHERED HAND. hawk, blinds anil was rustling his tissue paper tected. A single line of evergreens is From Canes or Root». wings against the ceiling, making quite planted. As growth proceeds these The process of “sugar-inaking,” in a disturbance in the somnolent hush of lorm an impenetrable barrier to the its essentials, is a simple enough matter A Son Cursed for Striking a Dead the chamber. winds. This will shelter the field only Father. of cookery. The first care of the pro Presently there was the sound of a in proportion to the hight of the bar footstep on the front gallery. It came rier, and the wind in leaping this ob ducer is to get all the sugar possible closer as the visitor moved down the struction where it again strikes the out of the cane or grass or root, either A stroll along the river front in the great hallway. The intruder seemed ground acts w th far more violence by squeezing out the juice or washing upper portion of New Orleans calls up to hesitate as he approached the sick than if there had been no barrier at all. out the sugar; the sugar-maple saves the many changes that have there been man’s room. This was, however, but If the trees had been planted in groups Ki the sugar-maker this trouble, dcliver'ng wrought within the last thirty years. I short, for with slow, unsteady ’ r move- along the margin of the field to be pro the sap ready for the boiler. The juice Many old and well-known landmarks ment the knob Turned and tin le door tected the velocity would have s mply eyes and been checked, its destructive force is then cleaned of its impurities, as have entirely disappeared, and in the opened. With ’bloodshot eve coffee is cleared by the white of an egg, race of commerce new structures and bloated face, there stood the cause of broken, and protect on from injury all this domestic sorrow. He had ad would have extended for a long dis or water is filtered through charcoal; new disposition of old ones have been vanced several paces into the room be tance. Marshall truly observed that, it is then boiled, to evaporate as much made, so that he who would seek to re fore the nurse recognized him. She “ The operation of screen plantations is I of the water as possible, and crystallize immediately arose and went to him. not merely that of giving shelter to the call past localities, for a time is consid the solid sugar; it,is then cooled, and She begged he would not awaken the animals lodg ng beneath them, but erably puzzled. There are perhaps the molasses drained off. leaving the sleeping invalid. She pleaded with likewise in breaking the uniform cur soft dark sugars, in which each crystal i two or three remaining landmarks him to withdraw, but without avail. rent of the wind, shattering the cut has its thin coating of molasses, or that the old resident might recognize, He had come for money, he said, and ting blasts, and throwing them into dried by a centrifugal machine as and one of these is a grove of tall pecan he would not leave without it He had edd es, thus meliorating the air to some clothes are dried in the whirling drier, trees. It is true that is it trespassing suffered long enough in the city, ¿ stance from them.” whence the water flies out, or further somewhat upon the rightful significa whilst all at home reveled in luxury. Many years ago Dan'el Webster, in clarified and left to crystallize in tion of the word “grove” to use it as He needed money, and money he would the improvement of his Marshfield white loaves, which are sawed or crushed descriptive of the few dilapidated trees have. Pushing aside the negro woman farm, was fully advised on correct pr.n- or ground or powdered into the several that yet remain. Yet they are veterans he went to the bedside. His father ciples in avoiding the planting of lines Nor varieties of tine white sugar. Most of ami deserve to carry the name of their made no movement at his approach. of trees impervious to the wind. these earlier processes are performed on whilom brigade; and though they do The young man looked down at the need these lines of trees in a prairie the plantation, but in many cases they not make a grove now, they represent thin, emaciated figure, so unlike the pountrv be without sufficient value to repay their cost, when the plant ng are repeated and the sugar carried wh"' was one years ago. portly, soldierly man he had known. through the final process in the great Steadying himself by the bedpost, in may extend to a width of four rods, es jnce a large and spacious planta refineries. “Refining” is, in fact, little tion residence stood in the midst of stammering voice the sun addressed pecially if evergreens and deciduous more than a finer repetition of the pro this leafy cloud. When the sun was his father: “See here! I’ve stood this trees be mixed as they should be. cesses of “making,” and to do these low its rays were reflected from the thing as long as I am going to. I’m While yet young, the trees planted in simple things on a great scale and in the large front windows, so that from this entitled to money from you and I am rows, six feet between by four feet in best way is the sole purpose of those side of the river the building seemed going to get it. Are you going to give the rows gives ease in horse cultiva enormous bee-hives of industry. to be in flames, and as the light grew Hie some? That’s what I want to tion. The evergreens and deciduous trees may either be alternated in the The sugar-niaker’s first aim is to get redder and redder the likeness to a know. Yes or no!” from the cane as much of its percentage conflagration became more noticeable. The son gazed down in the father’s rows, breaking direct spaces, however, or planted in direct lines, each variety of juice as it can be induced to give up. I The roof was hidden in the dense face, but no answer came. The ju’ce is enclosed in little cells of masses of foliage, but even from a dis “1 want an answer. I allow no one by itself. The trees protect each other lignose, or woody fibre, which make the l tance the broad verandas and heavy to refuse to answer me. Do you hear?” while young, and being gradually thinned out as they acquire size, other tenth of the. cane’s weight. There brick pillars could be distinguished Still there was no answer. are three ways of extracting the juice— easily. It was the home of a well-to- “Then take that!” A sharp, quick the cuttings are useful for summer by crushing, by soaking out the sugar do Creole gentleman, who had been slap resounded through the house. wood, and the poles are valuable for The snow by tlie process of “diffusion,” or by a singularly fortunate both m a planter The cheek that received it did not tin various uses on the farm. combination of crushing and macera over the river and a business man in gle, nor did it flush under the stinging lodges among them instead of piling in tion in water. Crushing or grinding the city. That no unpleasant family insult. The young man eyed the irifts, and l es evenly beyond instead the cane is a process in use from the memories may be awakened we will sleeper as a hawk would its prey. »f being blown along the field until it earliest limes, as is seen in the primi call him Aristide Riviere. Then there came over his face a deadly meets -ome obstruction. If every prairie farm had an average tive sugar mills of the East, which con Educated in France, he returned to pallor, and staggering away from the •it one-tenth of its area so planted sist of the hollowed stump of a tree, Louisiana in 1821, just as he completed bed be muttered: ‘‘Mv God, he’s within which is a grinding pestle worked his majority. He was by nature well dead.” The nurse shrieked to alarm along its boundary, the be<t results in by oxen treading their round, driven fitted to bear the title won by his an the household. Then there was confu tillage would be subserved, and the re from the arm of the bar by one man, cestors. Dignified in comportment, sion in the ball. Servants were run maining nine-tenths would raise more while another feeds in pieces of cane, frank and generous in his disposition, ning about distraught. Every body crops than the whole area without this one by one, and takes out the crushed ever ready to help the needy or redress was calling on every body else to go protection. A French commission ap- remains. A mill almost as primitive as a wrong, he was beloved by all who for the doctor. Pale faces and half ; o'nied some years ago to investigate this matter reported that the best re this is still in use in Arkansas. knew him. It was said of him that in clothed forms rushed down the corri The sugar-house on a great planta face of danger he was undaunted, and dor. Etienne Riviere sought to make sult in tillage was where twenty-five tion is a large, high building, the center i ; in scenes of distress as tender as a wo his way out, but was confronted by his percent, of the country was occupied of the farm, to which roads or tram man. Marrying, when only twenty- 1 mother and sisters. It was a pitiful bv t inber.— Chicano Tribune. ways lead in all directions. As a load three, one of the beauties of the lower j scene. With downcast eyes he stood of cane comes up, it is fed upon an end coast, the union was blest with seven before them and th* nurse told what —A new method of illumination was less belt or railway, which carries it up children, of which four were boys. ¡she lmd witnessed. No one opposed spoken of in a story published recently. ■lowly to the crushing-mill, an affair of Like their father, these young gentle his going then. All shrank from him The author depicted a "long, low simple construction but of enor- | men were sent to France for education. and he found hi* way open to the room, made cheerful by a widow at mous power. The crushers are great 1 Probably there was no domestic circle door. As he slunk down the front each end.”— Philadelphia Press. rollers of east-iron, in pairs or trip- i in Louisiana around which there was steps the old nurse followed him, giv —The estimated loss in Douglas lets, sometimes one set, sometimes i clustered more happy associations. ing full vent to her indignation and County from hog cholera is forty-five more, working at a pressure of from His sons were as near to him as if they | horror in profuse maledictions. thousand dollars. This is the worst fiftv to eighty pounds to the square inch, | “Leave!” said she. "Go! and suffer visitation to farmers in Kansas since were brothers, and such was the per and so arranged as to give slightly be- fect community of feelirg that even 'all your days. That hand that struck the grasshoppers in 1874-5.— Chicago fore any extraordinary strain. There ' the business the day was freely dis a dead father will wither at yourside.” Times, are all sorts of opinions as to whether cussed at the of dinner i In the vocabulary of her negro Creole table. —In New York when the elevated it is better to crush once only or to re One of the sons, urged by a mother’s ! patois she could find no terms strong roads were built horse car stock fell in peat the operation with increasing pride, commenced the study of law in enough to express her feelings, and so value. Now, however, the elevated pressures. The juice flows from the with a sweeping motion of her arm crushers in one direction; the residual New Orleans under a well known law she drove the unnatural son from th* roads are worked to the limit of safety, He made rapid progress, and his yet the horse cars were never so cane, now known as “begass,” is car yer. I house. crowded.— if. Y. Times. ried off in another by an endless belt, to prospects were regarded as exceedingly Never was such a funeral eortege —It would seem that Nutfield, in be used either for dressing for the cane brilliant by his friends. He look apart seen on the right bank of the Missis in the city “to be,” as he said, Surrey County, Eug., is the most fields or as fuel in the heating processes ments sippi river. Hundreds of friends from "nearer the courts.” The temptations healthy spot in the world, a. the rector which the juice is next to undergo. One of city life soon began to lure him away | New Orleans, delegations from neigh has announced that, with a population of the great improvements in modern from boring parishes, troops of the poor who his former modes of life. Con sugar-niakin» has been the development viviality and pleasure led him from that had received aid from the bands of the of one thousand two hundred, only one of furnaces which get most of their fuel , lamented dead, followed the hearse male died last year, and he was eighty from thebegass.— R. R. Bowker, in Har- jealous mistress, the law, and it was down the road to the little cemetery of eight years old. not long before his grief stricken par ver's Maaazine. —The much-abused drug clerk is not ents were shocked to learn that he had J McDonoghville. It was a day of sor A Discreet Customer. failed utterly in his examination for the row in many households, and when the the only person liable to accidents with Customer to florist—Do the flowers bar. By that easy inclined plane, lead dead was laid away the sobs of a hun poisons. A recent case is cited at ing to depravity, he moved gradually dred slaves in a chorus of lamentation «eannette, La., in which a father of that bloom in the----- down. Drink and cards wrought their broke upon the ear, so weird and wild two sick children gave the medicine Florist (sternly) —Sir? work, and old Mons. Aristide Riviere few could restrain their feelings. Those prescribed for each of them to the Customer—I said do the flowers that was weekly called upon to settle the who were present lay that few such other, thus killing both children. bloom----- —An elevator boy is authority for extravagant bills of his profligate son. j scenes were ever witnessed. Florist (sotto voce)— John, is Towser It would be unpleasant to chronicle the statement that ladies never thor loose and the sand bag in the cash The humiliation of the family was such much of the career of Etienne Riviere. oughly become accustothed to the ele that none of them continued to visit the drawer where I can reach it? But one fact, which of itself is some vator. No matter how often they ride John, in a whisper—Yes, sir; 'an' city. In their retired home they suf what remarkable if only as a coinci- up and down they invariably catch Towser ain't eat nothin’ sence yester fered in silence the deep chagrin ■ denctf, is necessary to tell. For two their breath when the elevator starts brought upon tbem by the once promis day. I years after his father's death he re on its downward Journey.— Chicago Florist—Well, sir. What did you sav? ing boy. At last such were the unprin mained sober, and seemed to be re Times. cipled actions of this young man that Customer—I wanted to know if flow solved to lead a better and truer life. —me latest danger to sewing women ers that bloom in the early part of the be was refused admittance to his Finding work with a well-known is reported by Dr. Arthur v. Megis, father's house and bis drafts were no year will bloom again later?— Pittsburgh house-painter in New Orleans, he who tells of a case of marked lead pois longer honored. This produced no ef Chronicle. . fect. Night brawls and protracted pe worked faithfully for two seasons, when oning in a tailor, which he attributes he was stricken down by lead-poison to the use of sewing silk treated with riods of intoxication succeeded one No Time to Lose. another, until at the age of twenty ing. Partial paralysis set in and bis sugar of lead to give it weight, and es right hand, a shrunken, shriveled rem Miss Longout—Mamma, I think I’ll eight the law student was an old man. pecially to the habit of biting off such Several times he endeavored to gain nant, withered away. The prediction thread. It is probable that many sew accept young Snoopkins. He seems tn be the best thing I have on the hooks bis mother's presence, but the slaves of of the old nurse was fulfilled to the ing women suffer from the fesults of the household had orders to prevent his letter. The band that had smitten a j this habit, although the poisoning is 2t present. Mrs. L.—Why, my dear, you have entry on the premises. For about two dead father's cheek became a useless i not often produceain such intensity as years matters were unchanged, at least burden to th* remorseful son. — Chas. to lead them to consult a physician.— plenty of time before you. Miss L.—You're mistaken, mamma; in the conduct of Etienne Riviere, the E. Whitney, in N. O. Times-Democrat. Chicago Herald. —The newest parlor diversion of I am failing rapidly. I know, because wayward son. On one, however, these —In a recent lecture Prof. Virchow, wealth and fashion is not intellectual, 1 have heard several people say lately continued escapades wrought untoid that I am “growing younger and agony. The proud and aristocratic of Berlin, stated that the Semitic race but it has the good quality of perfect prettier every day.” I have no time to father began to fail. His wounded more readily adapts itself to a change innocence. It consists in throwing amour propre brought on a spell of of climate than the Aryan, and that cards into a hat. A silk tile is set on lose.— Rambler. severe illness. For days and nights his the South Euro|>eans owe their advant the floor. The player takes a pack of —Little Stuart had spent his first day anxious family watched at his bedside ages in this respect to the admixture of fifty-two playing cards, stands eight S.-m tic Hood, through contact with feet distant, and endeavors to cast them at school. “What did you lean.?” was expecting his death momentarily. it was on an evening in May, and the Phoenicians and Arabs. The want one by one into the receptacle. The his auntie's question. “Didn’t learn anything.-' “Well, what did you do?” the last light of day cast feeble shadows of adaptability shows itself especially feat is not so easy as it seems, and “Didn't do anything. There was a in the sick room. Outside in the pecan in d min shed fertility. Creoles die out there ia room for much axpertness. woman wanting to know how to spell trees restless mocking birds were talk- after the third generation, or become Twenty out of a pack is a high average. ’cat,’ and I to!J her.” — Chicago Tribune. nr to one another in trills and soft absorbed with the natives. WEST SIDE TELEPHONE. Garrison'i Building. McMinnville. Oregon, CHIVALRY. NO. 13 MAKING GLOBES. I i I How the Miniature Repre»entation* of the Earth Are Mau u far lured. Our library and school educational globes have, perhaps, been a puzzle to many an inquisitive mind, they lieiug bo light, so easily turned on their axis, and so smooth as to appear more like natural exact productions than mechan ical constructions. The material of the glole :s a thick, pulpy paper, .like soft straw Isuird, and this isformedinto two honf.spheres from disks. A tint disk is cut in gores or radical pieces, from center to circumference, half of the gores being removed and the others brought together, forming a hemispher ical cup. These disks are gored under a cutting press, the dies of which are so exact that the gores come together at their edges to make a perfect hemisphere. The formation is also done bv a press with hemispherical mold and die, the edges of the gores being covered with g'ue. Two of these hemispheres are then united with glue and moitnted on a wire, th“ ends of which are the two axes of the finished globe. All this work is done while the, paper is in a moist state. After drying, the rough paper globe is rasped down to a surface by a coarse sand-paper, and then re ceives a coat of paint or enamel that will take a clean, smooth finish. The instructive portion is a map of the world printed in twelve sections, each of lozenge siiape, the points extending from pole to pole, exactly the same as though the peel of an orange was cut from stem to bud in twelve equal di visions. These maps are obtained in Scotland, generally, although there are two or three establishments elsewhere which produce them. The paper of these maps is very thin, but tenacious, and is held to the globe by glue. The operator—generally a woman—begins at one pole, pasting with the left hand and laying the sheet with the right, work ng along one edge to the north or other pole, coaxing the edge of the paper over the curvature of the globe with an ivory spatula, and working down the entire paper to an absolutely smooth surface. As there are no laps to these lozenge sections, the edges must absolutely meet, else there would lie a mixed up mess, especially among some of the islands of the great archipelagoes and in the arbitrary polit ical borders of the nations.. This is probably the most exact work in globe making, and yet it appears easy, be cause the operator is so export in coax ing down fulness and in expanding scanty portions, ail the time keeping resolute relation and perfect joining with the other sections and to their edges. The metallic work—the equators, meridians and stands—is finished by machinery. A coat of transparent var nish over the paper surface completes the work, and thus a globe is built,— Christian al Work. A DAKOTA DEAL. Working Off* a Precious Piece of Property On An Eastern Speculator. A settler who has lived in Dakota sev eral years has a son who went a* little farther west in the Territory a few months ago and took up some land. Recently the son returned, and, after staying at home a few days, took the old gentleman to one side and said: • “Father, I’ve got a pretty fine piece of land out there.-’ ■ I I«’ v • mighty Illi 1 I I V go kJ • S ld, ■ 1, William.” “That's “Yes, but 1 think i'll ■ I unload. I’ve got a fiftv-foot weil dug, and now 1 want to ask your advice as to what I’d bett'T di-coven” “Well, a matter like this takes some thought. I worked off a farm in Iowa once on coal, and 'nother in Wisconsin on gold. They’re gA.ting pretty old, though.” “Yes, that's what I thought, It’« the same wav with silver and oil.” “Yes, though I can remember the time when there wasn’t nothin' like oil for I he business. A good, steiulv-goin’, reliable young man could pour a couple o’ Imrrels uv petroleum down a bole and clear ten thousand dollars on the transaction in twenty-four hours. Times ain't what they used ter be fer an in- dustri'us man,” "No, 1 suppose not. father. I read the other day of a man who did the bus- ness with natural gas.” "Natchral gas! That’s the idea! Give me yer Kami, William, that’s the stuff to discover! Just throw a dead boss down that well uv yourn and wait a couple uv weeks and shove yer farm onto some spec'later from New York for twenty thousand dollars! Go right along t dav and tend ter it and. Bill, remember that hon'sty's the best pol'cy and don’t try to sell till the boss gets to -moiling pretty strong. Just you fol low in the footsteps uv yer old father, my -on—lie aint got quite so much stylo bout him as some uv those 'ere East ern specTaters, but no man can sav he ever done a dishonest act. Come back snd make a good, long v'sit when you et the deal closed!”— Estelline II). I’.) ’ll. • • • —The following sentence, written oy Alfonso, the late King of Spain, in the autograph album of Mias Foster, the daughter of our last Minister to that country, will be read with special in terest since bis death: “A la Señorita Foster: El gefe de) pais de la tradición y los remerdos, que es un etusiaata ad mirador de las gigantescas creacione» de la libre America, del pais del par- venir. Alfonzo, Marzo, 1884.” The translation of this is: “The chief ot the country of tradition and memorie* —who is an enthusiastic admirer of the Íigantic accomplishments of free merica. the country of the future.” I i RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL — The first Presbyterian general at semblv met at Philadelphia in 1789. —No less iliau 18,061 young wome are attending the several colleges in thl country. —Forty-one thousand copies of th Scriptures in the Turkish language hav been distributed among the Musselmaiu —President Eliot, of Harvard Univei •Ity, has quietly ninped in the bud th. plan to revive the ¡pine of football a that institution. —The whole number of communi cants in the Presbyterian Church it 1875-76 was 585,210; in 1884-85, 644, 025—a net increase of 108,815, or 20| per cent, in ten years. —There is reported to be one man it the Freshman class at Yale who is the eldest of nine brothers, all of whom in tend to go through that college. —A new technical school has been established in Springfield, Mass,—th* first of its kind in the country, or, in deed. in the world. It is a “School of Christian Workers.”— Boston Journal. —Canon Farrar, in a lecture delivered at Johns Hopkins University, put him self in line with thoje who protest against making the study of ancient languages the chief business of college* life. —Chorus choirs of male voices have become the fashionable church music in New York. There are six or seven congregations which will begin this tall their first experience in male choirs, and the chorus of boys' voices is inorea»-., ing in popularity.— N. Y. Tribune. —A “professor of walking” is said to be a Canadian institution which might be iniDorted with advantage to our ’ young ladies’ seminaries. Tho profes sor takes young ladies out on long tramps and compels them to adopt a free, swinging gait, and carry their shoulders properly.— Chicago Times. —One Presbyterian Churoh, in Jor dan Springs, Kan., has only one mem ber. He is an elder, and the church is reported as giving 91 to the Home Mis sion cause, .fl to the relief fund foraged ministers, and 55 cents to the expenses of the Assembly. The pulpit is vacant. Another church. In New York, has only one member, but twenty Sunday-school children aro reported.—St. Paul Press. —The Woman's Missionary Society in Dakota cut the knot, deciding to have but one missionary society, with the same set of officers, but with a variety of functions. One day it is a foreign mis sionary society, another day it is a home missionary organization; the same, only for the time facing another way.—A. Y. Examiner. —Rev. Dr. C. R. Hale, Secretary of the Joint Commission of the General Convention on Ecclesiastical Relations, has paid a visit to Norway and Sweden, carrying with him, beside his own cre dentials, letters from Lambeth and from the Anglo-Continental Society. One of his chief objects was to induce the mak ing of more adequate provision for the r> ligious needs of emigrants to the United States. —The CongregationalM records a case of heathenism at Springfield. Mass., which is truly remarkable. It says: “A little girl happened in a neighbor's house one morning at the time of family prayers. She was asked to stay, and accepting the invitation, remained an interested participant in the proceedings. When they all rose from Kneeling she startled the company with the exclama tion: ‘I like this game first-rate. What is the name of it?’ AJI this is said to have occurred under the shadow of Hope Church.” WIT AND WISDOM. —Troubles spring from idleness, and grievous toils from needless ease. | —The railroad engineer who ran into Jumbo’s trunk is the champion bag gage-smasher of the age. —Good children are the hardest crop to raise; it takes a kind home and tw.i steady heads.— N. Y. Independent. — Personal— Dear Ned, come back; all is forgotten. Pa kicked the wrong man, and didn't know it was you. ' Come immediately- May. ’ i —The man, who is always ready to condem Hie mother-in-law, should not forget that aha had a mother-in-la v once herself. —“Willis's beat poems were written in his boarding-house.” Another proof that a pcson can write best when his stomach is empty.— Kentucky State Jcurnat. —A beautiful new song is called “The lame One on the Shore.” We never knew till now how romantic a solitary clam could be made to appear. — Bar ber's Gaze’te. — A new comedy is called “The Girl with a Tin Heart.” Nearly all the girls have a tin heart when a young man comes around with soft solder.— Louis- til e Courier-Journal. —“Dodge Brothers A Pray” is the name of a San Francisco firm. In a land where there are so many earth quakes and drunken miners on a bender their sign really looks very appropriate to a stranger.- Somerville Journal. The poor dude: Th. melancholy liars have eoma, With chirp of flrnsliie cricket; The durto. In lieu of overcoat. Is forced to wear the ticket. Merrtumt Traveler. —In some instances jealousy is a sign of love, but it Is more frequently proof overwhelming egotiom. In some cases jealousy is proof of no love of any kind, but is m rely Indicative of a bad disposition.— Albany Jou. nal. . ■