SElII-WEEkLl
WEST SIDE
M’MINNVILLE
VOL. I
¡WEST SIDE 'TELEPHONE.
•—Issued----
TELEPHONE
JULY 16, 1886
NO. 10
I
QUEER
APPETITES.
A
LAWYER’S
START.
Swine or the “Delicacies” Consumed in Va ! How a Dead Cat Brought Him Both Fame
rious Parts of the World.
and Fortune.
BASHFUL
YOUTHS.
The Experience of One of the Most Elegant
Men of Ills Day.
A FAMOUS WOMAN.
Sketch of the Life of Laura Bridgman,
the Wonderful Blind Deaf-Mute.
The old saying that what is one man's
The narrator is prominent in his pro
Laura Bridgman was born in Han
As a general thing young ladies are
meat is another man’s poison is real fession here, and had attained a high po
over, N. H., December 21, 1829. She
much
more
self-possessed
when
they
first
the opposite tastes of people.
sition in the East before seeking the
Garrisons Building. McMinnville. Oregon. ized The in Englishman
was a bright infant, but in her second
will noteat »squirrel West as far back as 1852. His gray go into society than young gentlemen,
— BY-
year had a violent illness, which wholly
but will gloat over a meal of barnacles hairs and long contact with dusty prop I and while the girl of sixteen is helped
Ti
«.K Turner, and periwinkles, the latter a species of
out by the kindness of older women and destroyed the senses of sight, hearing
ositions have not quenched his love for
Publishers and Proprietors.
sea-snail that adheres to the rocks. | a joke, and his keen eyes twinkled as the attention men always pay to “the and smell, and greatly impaired that of
taste. Though her general health was
The Hollander relishes a feast of de merrily as those of his ai“’dors while he rosebuds” if they are pretty or pleasing,
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
so shattered by this sickness that she
the
boy
of
eighteen
or
nineteen
is
left
tc
Spue year........................................................... $2 (X) cayed shark, yet looks with horror on was unreeling his yarn.
was almost helpless for several years,
do
the
best
ho
can
for
himself,
and
if
he
bread
and
butter.
The
Japanese
have
"I learned my trade,” he began, “in
SB'hree months...................................................
75
she
subsequently recovered her strength
is
modest,
well-bred
and
not
conceited,
a prejudice against milk and beef, but a little New York village, but manifest he often retires from society after a few
and had apparently so much intelli
Entered in the Postoilice at McMinnville, Or.,
ed
no
particular
aptness
for
the
law,
will
enjoy
stewed
or
roasted
rat.
The
as second-class matter.
barely scratched through my exam brief plunges into it, with feeling that gence, though shut in a realm of dark
Turks shudder at the thought of eating and
ination. My shingle was not honored he is not wanted there and will never be ness and silence, that she was in her
oysters. The Digger Indians of the with a call for many long weeks, and fitted for it. Yet, after all, hollow as tenth year, put under the care of Dr.
GEMS FROM CONFUCIlfe.
Pacific slope rejoiced in the great locust when I did get one it was from a mem society is, in many professions it is Howe, who then had charge of the
school at Boston.
gome of the Wine and Pithy Sayings of the swarms of 1875 as a gracious dispensa ber of my own family. One of my broth necessary for a young man to hold his deaf-and-dumb
Famous Philosopher.
tion of the Great Spirit, and laid in a ers, Frank, had a craze for poultry, and own and appear well on social occa There she was taught to read by touch
ing raised letters; then these letters,
I His discrimination of character is am store of dried locust powder sufficient raised fancy breeds with great success sions.
It is also a relief to any one whose framed into words, were attached to
until
an
old
maid
moved
into
the
adjoin
to
last
them
for
several
years.
The
ply illustrated in the many wise and
ing house, and her predatory cat began feelings are strong and who is apt to objeots, and she thus learned to know
pithy sayings which he has bequeathed French will eat frogs, snails and the to
decimate his costly chicks at a fearful grow melancholy in solitude to have objects by their names. Thus far,
diseased livers of geese, but draw
Ko us, a few of which we have grouped the line at alligators. Buckland de rate. Frank remonstrated, but in vain, “some where to go.” I presume many however, the work was only an exer
■/ together, as combining his ideal of how clared the taste of boa constrictor and finally, made desperate by the loss originally able men who have become cise of imitation and memory, and was
Milan should behave in different posi good, and much like veal. Sir Robert of nearly an entire hatching, he poisoned oddities, and grown careless in their like teaching a clever dog a variety of
habits and offensive in their manners,
tions of life. Tlius, he tells us how “a Schomberg found monkey very palata the cat. The old vinegar-faced female might have been comfortable and well tricks. But all at once the truth seemed
to flash on her that by this means she
that
owned
the
Thomas
feline
raised
a
ble,
though
he
says
that
before
being
"poor man who does not flatter, and a
it looked disagreeably line it fearful row over her pet’s death, and as liked if they had taken a little pains to could make known to others what was
rich man who is not proud, are passable carved
know
a
few
people,
and
to
be
sought
in her mind, and this knowledge
roast child. Quass, the fermented Frank was rather loud in congratulat
characters; but they are not equal to the cabbage water of the Russians, is ing himself on getting rid of the chicken at least in some small circles of society. seemed to change her whole being.
Long ago Lord Chesterfield said to Her sympathetic teachers procured for
Minor who yet are cheerful, and the rich their popular tipple. It is described destroyer, she had little trouble in trac
son: "Your figure is like other peo her a set of metal types, with the letters
who yet love the rules of propriety.” as resembling a mixture of stale fish ing the cat’s fatal illness. There was his
ple
’
s; 1 hope you will take care to cast at the ends, and a board with
only
one
way
to
reach
Frank
in
law
to
and
soapsuds
in
taste,
yet,
next
“A good man in his conduct of himself
so. too. Why then should you be square holes for their insertion, so as
is humble, in serving his superiors he is to beer, it has more votaries than her mind, and that was by criminal pros dress
Why not go into mixed com to be read by the fingers when placed.
respectful, in nourishing the people he any other fermented beverage. Atal- ecution, and she accordingly caused his ashamed?
is kind, in ordering the people he is low candle washed down with quass arrest on a charge of indictable misde pany as freely as into your own room?” In a few months she could spell the
names of the most common objects,
just.” Again, a man “is to think of forms a meal that it would be hard to meanor, brought under a section of the And he udds:
“I remember that when, with all the and in a year had made great mental
virtue, and not of comfort; of the sanc to be thankful for. In Canton and other penal code similar to the one in this awkwardness
of college alxjut me, I was improvement. She would amuse her
tions of law, not of gratification.” Chinese cities rats are sold at the rate State that provides that a person found
And “what the superior man seeks is in of two dollars a dozen, and the hind guilty of ‘administering poison to an first introduced into good company, I self for hours with these letters, spell
himself; what the small man thinks is in quarters of dogs are hung tip in the animal the property of another’ shall was frightened out of my wits. If I saw ing old and new words, and framing
others.” He was firmly convinced of butchers’ shops alongside of mutton be punished by tine up to live hundred people whisper I was sure it was about imaginary dialogues, and became much
i®ts being more or less in the power of .and iamb, but command a higher price, dollars or to imprisonment up to six me, and thought myself the object of happier and full of enjoyment in her
every man to acquire knowledge, and l'he edible birds' nests of the Chinese months, or both. Well, the case looked the censure or ridicule of the whole play. Her hand grew in accuracy as
-^thereby wisdom. Hence, as Dr. Legge are worth twice their weight in silver, black. The cat was certainly an animal, company, who Heaven knows, did not her knowledge increased so that she
tells us in his “Life of Confucius,” “his the finest variety selling for as much and Frank had freely admitted adminis trouble themselves about me. In this could recognize persons, fabrics, col
way I suffered martyrdom, and should ors, etc., by the touch alone. In a few
house became a resort for young and as thirty dollars a pound. The negroes tering the fatal dose.
"Nobody disputed the right of the cat’s certainly have renounced polite society years she was able to receive lessons in
inquiring spirits who wished to learn of the West Indies eat baked snakes
the doctrines of antiquity. However and palm worms fried in their own fat, owner to prosecute, and 1 counted the forever if I had not been absolutely con geography, algebra and history, and
•mall the fee his pupils were able to but they can not be induced to eat pages of every statute book in the town, vinced of the necessity of forming my learned to write a fair, legible hand.
afford, he never refused his instructions. stewed rabbits. In Mexico parrots hardly knowing what I sought. Finally manners. 1 remember at last gaining She carried on animated conversation-
All that lie required was an ardent de are eaten, but they are rather tough. a paragraph was found, setting forth intrepidity enough to go up to a fine with her teachers and friends by means
sire for improvement and some degree I'he Guachos of the Badda Oriental are that an animal, to be property, must woman and tell her that I thought it of the finger alphabet, the move
of capacity.” Thus, to quote his own in the habit of hunting skunks for the have »valuation fixed bylaw. Turning was a warm day. She answered me ments being made by the hands of
words: “i do not open up truth to one sake of their flesh. In Kaskaskia, a to the ratings of animals in the section very civilly that she thought so, too; others placed upon her own, as
who is not eager to get knowledge, nor town on the Mississippi, "Musical I on the larceny of live stock I found that upon which the conversation on mv she could not see them. She be
keep out one who is not anxious to ex Jack,” or fried rattlesnakes decap dogs were worth a dollar in law, sheep part ceased, until she remarked, good- came a most skillful teacher of the
plain himself.” By stimulating youth itated and skinned, and showing a and pigs a little more, and horses, cows, naturedly resuming it: “I see your blind, and was for many years an in
to study, he endeavored to create an in- meat as firm and white as a chicken, is etc., sufficient to make a theft of them embarrassment, and I am sure the structress in the Perkins’ Institution
¿■¿•tructed public opinion which should a standard dish. The octopus, or devil grand larceny, but not a word was said few words you said to me cost you a for the Blind, in Boston. She still
display an admiration for truth fish, when boiled and then roasted, is about cats. An idea struck me, and I good deal; but do not be discouraged. spends much of her time in that insti
and goodness. That the same love eaten in Corsica and esteemed a great ' braced up my miserable brother by tell All you want is manner, and you do tution. She is a very skillful per
of truth pervaded all his sentiments delicacy. In the Pacific Islands and ing him that I could easily wipe out the not want that as much as you think you former on the piano, is quite dextrous
in many kinds of household work, and
*
lizards’ eggs are foul accusation that besmeared his fair do.”
is exemplified by a remark he one day West Indies,
Lord Chesterfield was supposed to bo is an adept in plain and fancy needle
great
gusto,
made. “Shall I teach you what knowl eaten with
The fame, and we went into court. The old
edge is?” said he. "When you know a natives of the Antilles eat alli- girl didn t shed a tear, but she swore one of the most elegant men of his day; work, and can run a sewing machine
thing, to hold that you know it, and gator eggs, and the eggs of the tur- very stoutly against Frank, and then in- and the bashful boy who made an effort as well as anyone. In spite of her great
When you do not know a thing, to al ile are popular everywhere, though up iroduced. all the people who had heard to say, “It is a warm day, madam,” to affliction Miss Bridgman always seems
low that you do not know it; this is to the commencement of the last cent Frank’s coniession as witnesses. Then a lady, became Ambassador to the happy and contented. Her case af
‘Your Hague, Viceroy to Ireland, Secretary of fords one of the most remarkable illus
knowledge.” His definition of hypo ury turtle was only eaten by the poor I introduced mv demurrer.
crites reminds us of their comparison to of Jamaica. Ants are eaten by various honor,’ I said, ‘this complaint charges State, and member of the cabinet. He trations of what can be accomplished
whited sepulchers in the New Testa nations. In Brazil they are served the defendant with poisoning an animal, had all the elements of social success by modern philanthropic systems of
ment-namely: "There may lie fair with a resinous sauce, and in Africa the property of another,’ and I quoted within him, and yet, no doubt, he might education.— Chicago Inter Ocean.
Words anil an humble countenance they are stewed with grease or butter. | the section on which the accusation was have gone to the wall but for that de
PARADISE MYTHS.
w hen there is little virtue.” But lastly, The East Indians catch them in pits i based. ‘Cats, sir,’ I went on, ‘have termination to form his manners in good
it has often been urged that Confucius, and carefully wash them in handfuls no value in law, and therefore can not society. And what was said so many
years
ago
to
a
bashful
English
youth,
a
The
Peculiar
Idea« Entertained by Various
in spite of his wisdom and the loftiness like raisins. In Siam a curry of ants’ be property. 1 move for a dismissal on
bashful boy of any nation may read with
Uncivilized People.
of his teaching, had nothing to say eggs is a costly luxury. The Ceylonese | this ground.’
about God or a future life. He pre eat the bees after robbing them of their
“Frank was acquitted on the spot, and benefit: "Do not Ire discouraged. All
Paradise traditions soem to owe much
ferred, however, to speak of Heaven as honey. Caterpillars and spiders are I one of the best lawyers in New York yon want is manner, and you do not of their local popularity to a peculiar
want
that
as
much
as
you
think
you
in the. following instances: He who of dainties to the African biishman. After city, who was present, was so struck by
local fitness. In a swamp village of
fends against Heaven has none to whom they have wound the silk from the the plea that he offered me a place in do.”— N. Y. Ledger.
the upper Congo the brothers Rago
he can pray,” and "Alas!” said he, cocoon the Chinese eat the chrysalis of | his office. Under his tuition I soon be
HOW IT WAS.
xinski last summer interviewed a wooly
rthere is no one that kt.ows me. ” But the silk worm. Spiders roasted are a gan to appreciate my profession, and
his friends replied: • “What do you sort of dessert with the New Caledon | his help started me to the front at a A Devoted Young Alan Who Knows IIow to presbyter, who informed them that in
Take Gentle Hinta.
mean by thus saying that no one knows ians. The Viennese are the great snail rapid rate.”— Alta California.
the far west, beyond the grave, there
you?” He answered: “I do not mur, eaters in the world. The town of Ulm,
“How was it Smivins you didn't was a valley of peace, where good
mur against Heaven. I do not grumble on the Danube, is the principal place
Solid Concrete.
marry Miss Brown? Everybody said spirits Hit about, engaged in catching
Against men. But there is Heaven that where snails arc fattened for the mar
mosquitoes and protecting the sleep of
A kind of concrete, hard and solid, is you were going to do it.”
knows me.” Indeed, it has been truly ket. Those which are fattened on
“Well, you see,” replied Smivins, the just. The paradise of the Boto-
•iril that he was unreligious rather than strawberries command the highest now being used for building purposes in
irreligious. And if he had not a knowl- price, while sAty thousand arc an Paris. It is composed of eight parts of blandly, “I did think of marrying her, cudes is a land of cool streams, shaded
■i edge of a divine ruler it was his mis- nually exported from the isle of Crete. sand, gravel and pebbles; one part of and went to see her for six months with by forests so free from underbrush that
^■artune, and arose from no desire to The Great African snail, that attains common earth, burnt and powdered; that object in view, and along about the blest departed can ramble for miles
di-parage religious belief of any kind. a length of eight inches, is converted
without scratching their sensitive
part powdered cinders, and one and the end ot that period I thought the skins.
In short, as Mr. Clodd remarks, his into soup. Cock's combs are consid one
All desert-dwellers believe in a
poor girl might be thinking it wasn’t
a
half
parts
unslacked
hydraulic
lime.
omitting to speak about God "was not ered a delicacy in the Paris restaurants, These materials are thoroughly beaten the fair thing for me not to explain my thickly-wooded hereafter. The Yakoots.
because he was an unbeliever—for he, while the Briton swallows shrimps in up together, their mixture giving a con motives, so one night I proposed to her of Eastern Siberia, hope to find a
of all men, had reverence for the sacred- ’heir entirety.—Queer, Quaint and crete which sets almost immediately, in my most chaste and elegant manner. land of readv-lighted fires hung
miknown power that underlies all Quizzical.
and becomes in a few days extremely So far, so good, but the blamed girl around with bubbling kettles of
Mliings—but because his nature was so
fish-oil. The natives of the lower
hard and solid, which propertv may be told me she wouldn’t marry me if I Carolines
GRADED GREETINGS.
;*'t>eaiititully simple and sincere that he
dream of an isle of souls so
were the only ma/i in the world, and
still
further
increased
by
the
addition
of
Would not pretend to knowledge of Human Nature as Displayed tn the Bright a small quantity, say one part, of ce right after that I began to change mv large that a tipsy man can stumble
,lhat which he felt was beyond human
Hours or Morning.
ment. Among other constructions to mind and finally concluded I wouldn't about all night without fear of break
^Beach and thought.” But. nevertheless,
Chief
Clerk
(to
head
of
the
establish
which this material has been applied is marry her. I tell you, no woman shall ing his neck in the shore-cliffs. Our
one can not but regret that his teaching
a
hon.se three stories in height, 6.5 by ever throw it up to’me that I can't take Saxon forefathers hoped to line their
ment)
—
Good-morning,
Mr.
Large-
Was not more distinctive in this respect,
45
feet, standing on a terrace, having a a hint in such matters. No, siree, they transfigured selves with beer and pork
” e .specially as it was destined to be such wealth.
a diet which would make a Turk
perpendicular retaining
' ’ ’ „ w....
fall 200 ...
feet in don't have to kick me down-stairs to steaks.
l mighty motive power in molding the
Head of the establishment—Good- length and 20 feet
get rid of me," and Smivins walked up prefer the other place. The spirits of
pat
high.
Every
part
of
I < Jhine.se character of untold generations. momitig, Mr. Smith.
this structure was made of the hard ’ con and down the room in a burst of righte the Scandinavian braves slaughter each
other in the halls of Thor; and that the
1V- ThistUon Dyer, in'The Quiver.
Second
Chief
Clerk
(to
chief
clerk)
crete,
including foundations, vaults of ous indignation.— Merchant Traveler.
---------- M-------------------
4
(
Greeks were at heart less truculent is
»
— Good-morning, Mr. Smith: pleasant cellars, retaining wall, and all walls, ex
A Curious Cure.
—It is found that where the Chinese proved by the sentimental pastimes of
terior and interior, as well as the cor
morning.
can
do so they will ingeniously load theirelysium. Chinese paupers, pinched
nice
work,
mouldings,
string
courses,
Chief Clerk -Morning. Brown.
■ There have been all manner of health
raw
silk
with foreign substances, rice, by hunger and Buddhism, hope at least
balustrades,
parapets,
and
the
building
Ordinary Clerk (to .second chief
tesorts; places where people could eat clerk)-Good-morning, Mr. Brown. is without band iron, lintels or wood sugar, etc., to make it weigh heavier, for the advent of a golden age, when
even when they know the deception every man’s paunch shall be as convex
— N. Y. Sun.
■ «rapes, drink skim milk, or where Glad to see you looking so well this throug) out
-----
----------
must inevitably be detected, and will as a prize pumpkin. Few Moslems
' they could bathe or walls themselves morning, sir.
lose them good and steady customers. would accept a pass to a paradise with
Second Chief Clerk—Ya-as. Hang
MISCELLANEOUS.
’ Into health. But the most singular
The only way, it is said, to put a check out houris, and a poor Esquimau, whom
up
my
coat,
Jones.
. eurc in Europe is that of Lindewiese,
—A Rondout (N. Y.,) raan of small on them is by concerted action among Rev. Clans Hansen hoped to charm
Office-Boy (to ordinary clerk) —
* an obscure village in Austrian Silesia. Good-morning, Mr. Jones. Can I do stature gives as a reason for his stunted American manufacturers to shut out all with the prospect of a heaven without
growth that he was brought up, when raw silk which does not come up to a ice and sea monsters, declined the offer
People troubled with the rheumatism, any thing for you this morning, sir?
certain standard. An experienced man on the ground that Greenlanders can
'.Stout, dyspepsia and allied disorders,
Ordinary Clerk — Hustle around a baby, on condensed milk.
subsist without walrus blubber.—
throng this place, and many declare lively now, and get things in shape.
—The Boston 7'runscnpi says: "Pub ufacturer says that all considerations i not
they are benefited. Six weeks effects You ain't worth the powder to blow lic sentiment is awakening to the bar are imperative to make the Chinaman Chicago Times.
—Fresley Forrest7<?f Midaleport, O.,
th- cure, during which time no water you>up.
barity of destroying birds for decora honest in his dealings with the foreigner.
a young man of twenty-eight years, an
Is drank and nothing but drv bread
Negro Porter (to office-boy Good- tive purposes. Large numbers of our San Francisco Call.
invalid and a deformed cripple, is at-
■aten. The patients are subjected to mawnin’, James. How is yo’ health people, ladies and gentlemen, have
—All blacksmiths I have ever seen iracting much notice by bis mediumis-
fr. quent packs in ice-cold water, which dis mi wnin'P
signed protests against this cruel prac
know decidedly too much (in their own tic powers. It is said he goes into
induces profuse sweating. There three
Office-Boy—Come, yo' black nigger, tice.”
s. dais in the week when drink is allowed. get down stairs and sweep out the
—In the Treasury at Washington is conceit) to be good ones, and the farmer trances and then talks with the spirits
but it is a fermented mixture native to basement, or I'll report you.
a rat catcher, a colored man, who has knows or cares too little to see that the of well-known deceased persons, often
7 the country. Every patient, of course,
The negro porter then goes down i record of six hundred rats killed with horseshoeing ¡«properly done.- Indiana strangers to himself, in German or
other foreign languages. Also, it is
iolo-.'s weight, often as much as fifteen and abuses the dog.— Sonu mile Jour his bare hands. He has the knack of Farmer.
claimed, that he readily observes ob
gfryr twenty pounds, but very many are nal.
grabbing the animal by the skin be
— It was during the crusades in the jects through solid wood, walls
w
of a
b- iiefited by the entire change of lift
tween
the
ear
and
the
jaw,
and
by
a
—A few evenings ago a party ol gen-
twelfth Centura' that the custom of house or other like instances while in
i tnd what they call the "blood cweaL
sudden
twist
breaking
its
neck.
—
N,
tlemvn were comparing notes as to the
using coats of arms was first introduced the state of trance.— Cleveland Leader.
■>-Demorest's Monthly.
relative importance of husband and Y. Sun.
• —
into Europe. The knights cased up in
—
The
two
little
sons
of
the
Widow
—Perhaps she, was right—In one ot
wife. "My wife and I are one" elici
—London is rejoicing over the pro«- ted the trite observation, “Which Harrison, of Georgetown County. armor han no way to make themselves the Dundee boarding schools the
Beta of three thousand new and im- one?” The quietest man in the room South Carolina, were wrestling in the known and distinguished in battle but teacher asked his class the meaning of
tove<l hansom cabs with polite uni- said: "I can do better than that; my woods, when a tree that was being cut by the device on their shields; and these the word “victim.” The question
trmed drivers, and sixpenny fares, wife and I are ten.” On being asked down fell and killed them both. This were gradually adopted by their pos seemed to puzzle the scholars, hut after
[here will be war to the knife between for an explanation, he rejoined: "She happened while their mother was at terity an<l families, who were proud of a pause
pause a bright little girl answerisi:
answered:
the pious and military enterprises of
h?se cabs and those at present run- is one a..i I .m the cipher.”
, the bedside of her dying father.
Please, air, a victim means a man
their ancestors.
about to be married.
«
EVERY TUESDAY AND FRIDAY
IN
5
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.
I
—The Roman schoolmasters used a
whip made of eel skin to punish their
scholars on the nuked back.
—The Baltimore Catholic Mirror esti
mates the colored Catholic population
of the United States at 100, 000.
—By all means agitate the question
of grading teachers' salaries according
to merit, and let the question of sex in
this spile.a. be laid aside. — Philadelphia
Times.
. —Rev. Atticus G. Haygood, of the
Methodist Church South, says that
since the war the people of the North
have contributed no less than $40,000,-
000 for educational purposes in the
South. — Chicago Times.
—Along the line of the Panama
Canal are nine preaching stations kept
up by the Church of England. There
are about 18,000 laborers, a number of
whom regularly avail themselves of
the privileges thus afforded.
—The Boston Cooking School has
had six men as pupils during the year.
One man cook took a thorough course
and the five other men took lessons for
the personal satisfaction of knowing
how to prepare food. —Boston Journal.
—Although t wenty thousand volumes
have been added in the last two years
to the Columbia College library there
is need of more books to meev the de
mands of the professors and students
in the various departments of the Uni
versity, especially in the graduate
courses.— N. Y. Sun.
—Arrangements have been made for
a series of conventions in the interest
of home missions in the several Presby
teries of the Synod of Ohio. It is the
purpose of these conventions to bring
before the churches all information on
the work and needs of the home mission
fields.— Cleveland Leader.
—The American missionaries are not
a little proud of the prowess and clever
ness of the Bulgarians. Many of the
bright young men who have come to
the front in the war received their train
ing in the schools established by the
American missions, which have ever
been warmly welcomed in Bulgaria.
—For five years, every night in the
year without intermission, well at
tended Gospel meetings have been held
at th« Bowery Mission of the Young
Men’s Home in New York. On a re
cent Sunday evening the fifth anniver
sary was held, at which wonderful tes
timonies were given by meii who had
been rescued.— N. F. Tribune.
—The Poles, Bohemians, Servians
and Bulgarians, and, in general, the
Slavonians living in the city of New
York and neighborhood, are discussing
a project to establish in this country a
Slavonian Roman Catholic diocese in
charge of a Bishop, a Slavonian by
birth. There is no reason why the
Slav Catholics of this country should
not form a union of their own like that
of the German Catholics or the Irish
Catholics. But it is curious that these
American citizens of Slav birth intend
to petition the Czar of Russia that he
would intervene in their behalf before
the Pope. A Catholic priest, a Pole by
birth, has already applied to the Rus
sian Consul of this city on the subject.
—N. Y. Sun.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.!
—A Michigan girl committed suicide
when she found out that 1886 was not
a leap year.— Toledo Blade
—Cigarettes never hurt good little
boys, because good little boys never
hurt cigarettes—by burning them.—
Philadelphia Call.
—An awfully homely man at a
sociable where kissing games are played
looks as lonesome as a straw hat in a
snow storm.— Chicago Inter Ocean.
—A surgical journal tells of a man who
lived five years with a ball in his head.
We have known girls to live twice as
long with nothing but balls in their
heads.— N. Y. Telegram.
•
—The way that a woman lately inden-
titied her stolen parrot was by bringing
he|- husband into court and scolding
him. The bird soon called out: “O,
I wish you were at Jericho, old woman!”
—A woman will face a frowning
world and cling to the man she loves
through the most bitter adversity, but
she wouldn't wear a hat that was out
of style to save the Government.— N.
Y. Ledger.
—It is estimated that in this city 106,-
408 men, on the day following Christ
mas. when asked what they got, re
plied, "Got left.” This is a gratifying
decrease of nine since last year. — Phil
adelphia Call.
— If Horn Tooke had not many years
ago had his joke published, some enter
prising funny man might now say in
comment on the burning of the hat fac
tory in New York yesterday, "The loss
will be felt.”— Pittsburgh Commercial
Gazette.
—“What did yon do the first time you
got into a battle?” said a young lady
to an old soldier. “Of course you
didn’t run?" "O. no; I didn't run,
miss; not nt all, but if I had been go
ing for a doctor, and you had seen me,
you would have thought somebody was
awful sick.”— Chicago Journal.
—A perpetual joy.—
My wife In t milch of a beauty,
Hui a home keeping body Is she;
Rflldcnt In housekeeping duty.
And makes the house pleasant for me,
She wears the most tasty apparel.
And she's a perpetual Joy,
And we've never in life had a quarrel.
For she cooks like an angel, my boy.
— Boston Courier.
------------- ---------------------------
—The suffering and loss of cattle In
the Southwest this winter will tend to
revolutionize the cattle business, thinks
a Kansas rancher, who further says
that public sentiment is against large
herds, and, as the country is rapidly
settling up the herds must be made
smaller and receive better care-