Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Telephone=register. (McMinnville, Or.) 1889-1953 | View Entire Issue (June 25, 1886)
WEST SIDE TELEPHONE.
1 Once Flouritthiiiff B uh I iiom Which Is
Now on the Decline.
Sample Lots of Orators Picked Up Along
“Fan-painting,” said a dualer in
these articles to a reporter recently,
“so far as it is considered as a fine art,
is about played out. A few years ago
there were a number of artists in this
city who made a business of painting
fans. The average price paid was
thirty dollars a dozen, and, as the work
was quickly done, the artists could
realize a large sum of money by their
brushes. The demand for painted fans
steadily increased until it was impossi
ble to supply it. At this point inferior
work began to bo introduced and
the prices ran down until at the
present time fans are painted at a cost
of two dollars a dozen, a price that no
artist can make a living at.”
“Do you sell many painted fans
1"' inquired the riqiorter.
“In comparison with the sales a few
years ago we do not sei' many. The
truth is, tlm fans are now painted by
their fair owners.”
“Is much artistic merit displayed in
“(n some a great deal, but a good
many are mere daubs and tempt one to
ask with Artemus Ward’s inquirer:
‘Which is Daniel and which is the lion?'
The fair Julia takes a fan and paints on
it a landscape in which the shrubbery
seems to over-top the trees and the
animals seem to bo of a nondescript
species. She shows this painting to
her male friends who break out in ad
ulation, ‘Charming,’ Magnificent ’ and
other equally absurd expressions. Thus
encouraged the young lady goes on
painting other fans, each painting worse
than the former one, because a more
“Have yon ever any tricks practised
“O, yes. Some years ago I discov-
ered a very neat fraud. A well-exe-
cuted painting, if original,
expensive, and taking advantage of
this some keen fellows adopted a new
plan. They took the silk before it was
placed on the body of the fan an ' had
a photograph in some way taken on it.
Then they skilfully painted the photo
graph and many of the best posted
diallers were taken in. One day a ladv
living in this city, who is quite a col
lector, purchased one of the photo
graphed fans and discovered by acci
dent the method adopted. She returned
the fan to the dealer and thus put him
and others on their guard. In spite of
this, however, quite a number of bogus
paintings were palmed oft’. Indeed, so
successfully is the work executed that
it requires an expert to determine.”
“Why are not painted fans of this
description as valuable as if painted
from an original?”
“Well, they bear the same relation to
an original as a chromo does to an oil
painting. The former may have all
the beauties of the latter but it is
merely a reproduction and will never
command the price of an original.— N.
Y. Mail and Express,
As it is everybody's ambition to gain
ft.mo and prominence as a public
speaker, and as it is in line with our
principles to foster and forward every
laudable? ambition, wo take this oppor
tunity to set before our reader i certain
sample lots of public speakers, pro
cured at great pains and immense ex
pense, and we trust that every one of
our readers will find something in the
lot that will suit his predilections and
Exhibit 1, and perhaps the most serv
iceable in the entire invoice, is war
ranted to give satisfaction under all
conditions and in any kind of climate.
It is very durable. It will wear like
iron. This speaker is stately, rotund,
deliberate ¡mil perfectly sound in wind
and action. His sentences are of un
varying length and nil very long.
They are uttered in a delightfully uni
form tone of voice, which moves in bil
lowy grandeur, like this, ,---- , ,---- .
,---- ; the movement being kept up un
til the end of the sentence is reached,
when the voice is permitted to curve
gracefully upward, thus: —This
gives an opportunity for taking breath
before recommencing the billow busi
ness. This speaker is warranted to
run for any time desired, from half an
hour to all day. Any person really de
sirious of something superior will do
well to snap this up before it is taken
by somebody else.
Exhibit 2. This is a rapid speaker.
It is not so much in request as exhibit
1, but it has its especial merits. The
chief of these consists in the inability
of the hearer to understand what the
speaker is saying, for the former is
therefore unable to reply to the argu
ments of the rapid speaker, if the rapid
speaker think it worthwhile to indulge
in such unnecessary expedients and if
the hearer does make the attempt and
apparently gets the better of the rapid
speaker, the rapid speaker has the
power of denying that he said any
thing that the other said he said—and
who, pray, is to know whether he did
or not? The manner of working the
rapid speaker is to seize a sentence by
the butt, as you would a horse-whip,
and by a sudden and adroit movement
snap out the rest of it in one time and
one motion. This will require some
practice You would better begin with
detached sentences. When you have
so far succeeded as to be able to utter
“The Commonwealth of Massachusetts”
in one syllable, you will have gon very
far on your way toward perfection as a
Exhibit 3 is of the mumbling variety:
very useful when you can’t think of
the words you want to use. This will
be disposed of at a bargain; not be
cause it is of inferior quality, but
simply because the lot is an unusually
Exhibit 4. Loud-mouthed; very use
ful during political campaigns. Will
bo sold at a sacrifice.
Exhibit 5. This is a retailer of
'chestnuts; good for all occasions: the
most serviceable variety in the whole
line. Can afford to sell low on account
of the heavy stock we have on hand.
Exhibit 6. This is a machine that
deals in jokes, leaving out tho point,
and gets all jumbled up trying to apply
them. Rather common, but well worth
Exhibit 7. Ah! this is something
worth looking at. It is the true ora
tor. No discount on this lot. Itsprin-
cipal features are seven-jointed words,
tautology, pleonasm and “damnable
iteration.” Take this and you’ll never
regret it.— Boston Transcript,
EVERY TUESDAY AND FRIDAY
Garrison’s Building. McMinnville. Oregon,
Publishers ami Proprietors.
Fix months........................................................ I -•?
Entered in the Post.."!.;.- at McMinnville, Or.,
us Heeoild-cluw null 1er.
Tlie Perils anti Rewards of Those Engaged
During the past fourteen years one
hundred and five men have been en
gaged in the business of stage-robbing
on Wells, Fargo & Co.’s Pacific coach
stage lines. That it is a business pur
sued with great diligence ¡mil skill is
shown by the “Robbers’ Record,” kept
by the company for the use of its own
detectives. This record was recently
published by the company, and makes
public many instructive facts about the
business of stage-robbing, not the least
interesting being the fact that a pardon
to a stage robber is to him what the
operation of the bankruptcy law is to
a merchant—gives him an opportunity
to renew his calling unrestricted by
the law. The extent of the buxines»
will doubtless surprise many people.
It has in the last fourteen years cost
Wells, Fargo & Co. $927,726.55, or an
average of $66,266 per year. This as
sessment on the company is divided as
follows: The robbers are charged with
$415,312.55; rowkrdz for arrest, etc.,
$73.5+1; attorneys, $22,367; expenses
incurred in arresting and oonvict-
ing robbers, $90,079; guards and
special officers, $326,5 W. This makes
the total which the business costs
but, of course,
amount assessed against society by the
robbers. In this is not included the
great amount stolen from the United
States mails in the same robberies, and
the still greater total of cash and val
uables taken from stage-coach passen
gers. But taking the sum the robbers
have secured from the Wells-Fargo
boxes alone, $415,312, it is seen that
the hundred and five men who have
engaged in the business have averaged
$8,835, or about $660 per year each.
What the money and jewelry have
netted the road agents it is, of course,
impossible to even estimate.
Many st-.ge robberies have been
planned solely to capture large sums
known to be in the possession of some
passenger, and the average traveler by
stage has a very decent sum with him
for expenses, to say nothing of rings
and watches, so it is surely safe to esti
mate that the returns from passengers
aad the United States mail will equal
those from-the little green box of the
stage company. This, then, gives as
the average profit of one hundred and
five stage robbers operating for four
teen years $100 a month in even fig
ures. This sum, aggregating about an
even $1,000,000, has been secured
through 374 robbers, which shows
that each man engaged in the busi
ness has averaged nearly four rob
beries. This suggests a new phase
of the question—that is, while the
earnings in the business of stage-rob
bing are only $100 per month, the pay,
say of a salesman or book-keeper, yet
the average profit per robbery is about
$5,000. Thus the person engaged in
the business is enabled to earn the
wages of a mechanic of fair skill, yet
be employed between three and four
days in fourteen years. Much of the
implied leisure oonnected with this in
teresting business is, however, en
forced, and cannot be disposed of ex
cept at command. The lcisuro from
business cares, in fact, is generally
passed in jail. A few figures in this
connection will be timely. It has
been already stated that the stage rob
beries (and attempts) number 378, for
which there have been 249 convictions.
Thus, while each professional stage
robber averages in fourteen years
3.63-105 crimes, he also averages
2.30-105 terms in prison—that is, once
out of three times ho manages to dis
pose of his leisure and gains unadvised
by a court and jury.
During the years being considered,
stage-robbers have killed two and
wounded six Wells-Fargo guards; have
killed four and seriously wounded four
Wells-Fargo stage-driverS; have killed
four and severely wounded two stage
passengers. This is a total of ten
killed and twelve wounded. The re
turns on tho other side are five robbers
killed while in the act of robbing stages
and elevon killed while resisting arrest.
To this should be added seven robbers
hanged by citizens, making a total of
twenty-three robbers killed. Thus, the
business of stage-robbing has resulted
in the ’oss of thirty-three lives; the
total number of wounded not stated,
as the wounded robbers are not re
ported. It is interesting to note that
over two-thirils of the men who have
made it their regular business to rob
stages, with murder as a frequent in
cidental experience, have been par
doned out of prison while serving terms
for stage-robbery.— San Francisco
A Magistrate Who Is Not to Be Bulldozed
by Cheeky Lawyer*.
“Gentlemen, ,” said a Dakota justice
of the peace, i taking a fresh bite of to-
bacco, “when the attorney for the de-
fense, a recent importation from the
played-out anil run-down East, says
that this court is not run in accordance
with business principles he shows that
he is not on intimate or friendly terms
with inside facts. I charged the plain
tiff ten dollars for beginning this suit,
it costs the defendant five dollars for
the privilege of being heard on his side.
I bave decaled to fine each party twenty-
five dollars and I would further, gentle
men, take this ’ere public method of
socking a fine of fifteen dollars for con
tempt of court onto the beforeinmention
ed flickering legal light from the
spavined East. And gentlemen am!
fellow-citizens, lemmc say further, tliai
this eighty dollars together with certan
other moneys paid in at this shrine o
justice goes to buy a boss for this 'er
court, which may serve to convince t.u
legal gentlemen who injures the chane
of the defendent for two and a half de
lars a day and found that he is m’stak.
in his business principal racket. A
parties to this action will please st.
for’ard and whack up.”— Estelline (1>
A Shocking Exhibition.
My visit to the National Academy was
spoiled yesterday. Not by viewing bad
pictures, either. It was by a young
lady’s hat. There was nothing in her
face to denote excessive cruelty. In
deed, she was very pretty, and the at
tention she paid to the best pictures
si¥nii‘d to indicate that her artistic taste
was not uncultivated. But her hat! The
front rim of this was decorated with the
heads of over twenty little birds.\\ count
ed them at the risk of seeming to stale
rudely. These heads'were simply sewed
on side by side as closely as possible.
Aside from the shock that any lover of
bird life must receive on seeing this
evidence of slaughter of innocent war
blers. their use as a decoration was so
inartistic and ugly that I wondered that
any milliner would so apply them.
i hope the Legislatures will not fail
to push the bill to check the extermina
tion of our song birds by the milliners
and their customers. — Cor. N. F. Post.
— me Boston Traveler tells of a boy
living in sight of Plymouth Kock, Miss.,
who weighed three hundred ami four
pounds at last accounts, though he is
only fourteen years old. He has grown
at the rate of fifty pounds * year of
■—Tn China and Japan girls are named
after some beautiful natural object, and
such names are common as Cherry
flower, Peach-blossom, Plum-blosaoia,
Bamboo-leaf, Pine-woods, etc.
language of stones .
Qualities of Various Gems.
The quality of turquoise imparts a
prosperity in love.
Chrysolite was used as an amulet
against evil passions and despondency.
The opal imparts apprehension and
insight, and is the emblem of unrealized
Conjugal felicity was symbolized by
the sardonyx, which it was believed to
The topaz was thought to promoV
fidelity ami friendship and to calm in
The diamond has the mystic symbol
ism of light and purity, faith and up
rightness of character.
The properties of the amethyst is t
calm the passions of the body ami pre
The bloodstone was thought by the
ancients to impart courage, prudence,
fortitude and stability of character.
The moonstone was the emblem ot
the merchant prince, and signified well
directed industry and the arts of peace.
Garnet or carbuncle represents con
stancy of purpose and fidelity to duty.
It is pre-eminently the soldier’s gem.
The ruby was thought to guard
against unfriendliness, and particularly
that form so common iu antiquity
The sapphire signifies modesty nnd
atmrity of opinion, and was thought to
possess the power of breaking the
spells of magic.
The agate or challedony represents
physical prosperity, and it is the C
if the athlete and physician, and I ¡111
parts longevity and health.
The emerald symbolizes truth, .an'
was believed to secure good faith ¡in
happiness in friendship and home, I
was also th» appropriate emblem for ■
judge or lawyer.—A’. Y. Graphic.
Oriental Customs That Seem Amusfug
to Dwellers in the Occident.
BANK OF ENGLAND.
Brief Des< riptlon of the Sy* tenia Adopted
for It* Management.
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.
—A graduate of a theological semi
nary in New York has been refused a
Who and what are these melancholy
In 1694, while England was at war license to preach because he lived too
mortals who are meandering along cov with France, William Peterson, a Lon expensively and dressed too fashionably.
ered with sheepskins? They are what, don merchant, conceived the scheme —N. Y. Tribune.
—The Female University at St. Pe
when you see them in Fleet street, you of organizing a bank to receive de
call “sandwich men.” They are ex posits and assist the Government with tersburg, the first institution of the kind
Russia, was dedicated recently. The
hibiting the wares purchasable at this money. The capital of £1,200,000 was in
royal family took part in the ceremo
clothier’s shop on our left. Instead of raised by popular subscription, and it nies.
carrying advertisement-boards, and was provided that the whole of this
—The Sabbath is held in such great
wandering up and down the street, a should be permanently loaned to the respect at Thurso, Scotland, that the
layer of lean mortality between two Government at 8 per cent, per annum. cemstery is not allowed to be open on
that day. Even burials is considered a
slices of wood, they wear upon their The bank immediately issued notes of desecration.
own backs the very goods which you the denomination of £50 and upwards.
—In Japan it is the custom to preach
are respectfully invited to inspect and As there was no legal limit to the
to buy. Do not imagine that a China amount of issue, thev soon depreciated, sermons an hour long, or even longer.
man’s mind feels any qualms at the and in 1697 it was found necessary to Sometimes in one church or mission
thought that these garments have been increase the capital stock by £1,000,- chapel as many as seven such sermons
for weeks upon the back of one of the 000. This was paid into the bank, and we preached in the course of one Sun
unwashed. He is troubled by no such for a short time was not loaned to the day.— Christian Union.
—The school superintendents of Bos
unpleasant reflections. But lie would Government, and the effect was to
no doubt drive a harder bargain on the cause the notes and the stock (which ton, as the Journal reports, think that
plea that they had been already much latter had fallen to 40 per cent, dis the teachers are more overworked than
worn. These sheepskins are very high count) to appreciate to par. In 1844 the pupils. Teachers require more
ly valued in winter by the country peo an act was passed dividing the bank physical exercise and more recreation,
ple. If you were relating to an agricul into two departments— the issue and with less worry and less hot coffee and
tural auilience in the south of China, the banking—the object of which was to study at night"
and in the north also to towns prevent the issue of notes without a
—The most valuable possession of a
sufferings of the sufficient reserve of specie to redeem city is the reputation of its professional
persecuted saints of old, it would them. At the time of the division into classes, and of all classes the reputation
never do to tell them that "they wan the two departments the aggregate of of its teachers is most precious, since
dered about in sheep-skins and goat the permanent loans made by the bank they stand at the very fountain bead of
skins.” You would err as much as to the Government was £11.016,000. public intelligence and practical moral
the Moravian missionaries did who first This debt was now declared to be due ity.— Journal of Education.
preached of the fires of hell to the from the Government to the issue de
In Swain County, North Carolina,
Greenlanders. Those Arctic folk were partment. which was authorized to is is —
nature's own workman
immensely pleased with the prospect of sue notes to circulate as money to that ship. It is of called
the natural rock
going there, and the missionaries were amount. But some of the provincial house.” It stands “ on
naturally very much shocked at the re banks had also been authorized to is River, and resembles the ruins of an an
sult of their own preaching. And so, sue notes to a limited extent on the cient mansion. The long, arched pil
to the Chinese mind, the wandering deposit of securities, and it was pro lars give it a very majestic appearance.
about in sheep-skins and goat-skins doea vided in the act of 1844 that whenever It has five rooms, the largest of which
not at all imply that thev were “desti any of these provincial banks dimin holds about three hundred persons, and
tute, afflicted, tormented.” They ished their circulation permanently is
used for a church. 'l"he dedicatory
would very much like to be persecuted their right to issue notes on deposit of sermon
w as preached last month.
to that degree. The Chinaman is a government securities should accrue to
—Rev. Joseph Neesima, of Kioto,
wonderful creature for enduring end the Bank of England, but that the lat
less nuisances, regarding them as things ter bank should only issue two-thirds Japan, Principal of the Theological
that are and have been, anil therefore as much as the amount which provin Seminary at that place, addressed the
still must be. We could scarcely have cial banks should cease to issue. Under students of Yale Divinity School recent
a better illustration of that last remark this arrangement the amount of “per ly. After giving some statistics regard
than this stage, which has been thrown manent issue” had increased to £14,- ing the country, Mr. Neesima stated
right across the main thoroughfare. 475,000 in 1858. For the notes issued that thirteen churches have been formed
We must either find our way round under the foregoing provisions no re within the last year. A graduate of the
by a side street, or creep under the serve of specie is required, but for theological seminary organized a church
stage as best we can. Fancy what it every other note more than are issued of six inctnliers, and at its fifth anniver
would be for a band of itinerant as above, coin or bullion must be paid sary this year it numbered 875.— if. Y.
actors to erect a theater in Cheapside, into the bank before the issue of the Post.
—There is in Atlanta a beautiful
compelling all the traffic to turn aside note. There is no distinction in tho
for a whole day; and then consider that appearance of the two classes of issue; young lady who is deaf and dumb, but
:the street we are in bears about but when gold is wanted from the bank tn spite of her infirmity she is a regular
the same relation to the city of the notes are presented at tho issue de attendant at church. Unable to hear a
Amoy as Cheapside
___ r.... _ ......
does to _ the
_ partment, and, upon their redemption, word of the sermon or a note of the
city of London! Yet the people do not are
she is nevertheless a devout wor
once destroyed, and for every music,
shiper. Last Sunday an old man sat
complain. It is probable that not one new at deposit
in a hundred who turn aside because the notes are issued to the banking depart near her with an immense ear-trumpet
leveled at the preacher. The spectacle
road is blocked thinks that such a nui
of these two people worshiping God at
sance ought not to be allowed. It is ment.— Toledo Blade.
such a disadvantage was a severe rebuke
much more likely that the inhabitants
of the street are objects of envy because
to more fortunate people who seldom go
the theater is brought to their doors. The Old Fort at the Roughest Point on to church.— Atlanta, Ga., Constitution.
Some shopkeeper in the street has in
—An English professor has been trac
the Atlantic Coast.
vited the actors at bis expense, and his
ing the course in life of 1,000 college
neighbors are much obliged to him for
medical students, taken at random from
giving them an opportunity of seeing Me., has been said to be, in a. gale a London Institute. He found that
the play, and of hearing the drums beat, from ¡iny point of the compass between twenty-seven out of 1,000 achieved dis
the bells ring, the cymbals clash, and southeast and southwest, the roughest tinguished success; sixtv-six had consid
the actors howl and screech, without the point on the Atlantic coast. It is liter erable success; 507 made a living; 124
trouble of leaving their shop-doors.
had a very limited success, not having
The entertaining sights are so numerous ally out to sea, and the waves of the made a fair practice within fifteen years
that to describe all that strikes the new Atlantic, rolling in from three thou after graduation, and fifty-six failed ut
comer as fantastic would take a volume. sand miles of ocean without let cr hin terly. Nearly ten percent, (ninety-six)
You may see a woman deliberately drance, break with explosive roar upon of the whole number left the profession
washing her long black hair in wooden its bastions of stone, which are worn after beginning either study or practice,
bowl, combing it out and doing it up in into endless forms by the attrition and eighty-seven died after entering prac
public, without so much as a thought abrasion of ages. It is very rarely that tice, and forty-one died when students.—
that any one would think she should do any point of the mainland possesses all Chicago lieraid.
it in-doors. Or, maybe, it is a man in the conditions of an uninterrupted
WIT AND WISDOM.
scanty garb, sitting on tho threshold of breaking place for the waves of the
his shop, washing his long legs in a basin ocean. Outlying rocks or islands or
of hot water. Sometimes you may como the conformation of the adjacent coast
—A man who wanted to see the last
across a conjurer performing at one usually
eclipse got into a cab and told the dri
of the tiny clear spaces where the waves long before reaching the ver to take him as close to it as he could
the road widens for a few yards. mainland. Nothing lies between Pema because he was near-sighted.— Chicano
Close by this spot I once met a quid
and the broad Atlantic, and Herald.
man who seemed to have a knife even Point
—Pretty Teacher.— “Now, Johnny
calmest moods of sea the
broken off short in the top of his skull, roar of the surf
Wells, can you tell what is meant by a
and the blood apparently was running markable. When the southerly gale is miracle?” Johnny—“Yes, teacher,
down upon his clothes. The people on,
spray is flung hundreds of feet mother says if you ilon’t marry the new
stood aside with what I thought was a into the
air. The noise is deafening. parson it will be a miracle.” Teacher—
shocked aspect as he solemnly walked Huge the
pieces of rock are broken from “You may sit down.”— Life.
on, looking to neither right nor left,
Johnny (at the dinner-table)—“Will
and it proved to lie only a famous con the projecting wall and thrown up on
tell us about your escape after din
jurer going through one of his most re the bank. Pemaquid light-house stands you
markable performances. Occasionally on the promontory, several hundred ner,
back from the edge, with the hquse Featherly (a guest) — “About vhat es
you may happen upon one of the ec feet
of the keeper adjoining it. The light cape, Johnny? 1 have had no escape.”
centric customs of idolatry, and see a is
at least three hundred feet above the Johnny—“Yes, you have. The fool
new house consecrated by the presence
level. Yet in a southerly gale a killer, you know. Pa told sister yester
of the black-faced idol. By the way,
years ago a large stone was hurled day that he wandered how you had es
while we are just finishing our journey, by the
waves through the thick glass caped Mm so long.”— Methodist Advo
I will tell you a curious fact about
of the lantern, and the spray came cate.
Chinamen and foreign pictures. The down
the chimneys of the house in
—A customer went into an eating-
Chinaman who sees a foreign picture for
the first time looks at it with the eyes such quantities as to extinguish th* house where they sell basins of soup
for a penny, and having consumed his
of a grown-up child. When I had dis fires.
covered this fact, I tested the truth of it ¡ History nnd legend also lend their at basinful, began complaining that lie had
many times by showing pictures to in tractions to Pemaquid. No part of the not had his pennyworth, the soup was
telligent friends. A fine sketch of the country was earlier known to voyagers. bad, and he had found a piece of worsted
interior of a Turkish man-of-war, four The ships of Pring, Weymouth ■ and stocking in it. "Did ye think we can
guns served by aliout ten men, and the Gilbert hail plowed these waters long put bits o’ siik stockings in soup at a
Admiral standing in tlie foreground before the settlement of Jamestown, penny a bowl?” was the reply.— Boston
with his hand resting upon his sword, anil Pemaquid was the rival of Ply Post.
was put down as “mountains;” and a mouth ami Boston as a metropolis in
—“Now, you toll me 1 have a fair
large and elaborate picture of the funer the infancy of New England. '1 he old
al of Mons. Thiers proceeding through fort at the harbor was for near a cent- memory, a great capacity for learning
languages, and a well developed head
the streets of Paris was said to be “a
ship at sea.” This is an interesting Massachusetts and Acadia. Governor generally?” “You have,” said the
phrenologist. “Is there anything,”
fact for psychologists. — Every-Day Life
older date than Plymouth.
“Few asked the man under examination, in
know,” lie says, “that years before the the exuberance of his joy, “that my
Pilgrims set foot on Plymouth sands, head needs to make it absolutely per
Economy in Love.
there were established Englisn settle fect?” “Yes.” “What is it, pray?”
De Guy—Fred, I saw you at th. ments at various points on the shores asked the man. “A shampoo.”— Chi
Maine—that Pemaquid was a seat of cago Tribune.
Academy with a strange girl last night trade,
and at one time the metropolis
—The Ken and the Swan: A farmer
Who was it?
of all the region east of New York.”— one day came upon a Hen and a Swan
Ponsonby—That was my spring ni d Bockland (Me.) Courier-Gazette.
winch were having a Fierce Dispute,
summer girl. I’ve shaken my fall nt tl
when he Inquired the cause of it
—“now are you "“getting on?” ask»d and
the Hen explained: “Why, I express,.J
De Guy—I’m afraid I don’t fully e, Yeast of young Crimsonbeak, whom ne my Belief that the Swan’s neck was too
nleton tho street the other day. “First long.” “Oh, as to that,” replied the
velop your drift.
Ponsonby Nothing easier to explnii rate," wiu tho young man's reply. Farmer, “I was about to Suggest that
“What are you doingP” further queried your own neck was Altogether too
My winter girl likes ice-cream ni
bates oysters, and my summer g ■ Yeast. ‘‘I’m a medical director in an short, and that you are Sadly in Need ol
despises ice-cream and adores the I. institution down town.” “A r »dical new Tail-Feathers.” Morif: Don’t
valves. By this plan I save eiioug director!” “Yea; you see I dir. ct en criticise a man who Toes in when you
each year to buy my clothes in Lunnoi velopes in a patent-medicine house.” run your own Boots C
“Oh.”— Yonkers Statesman.
—Detroit free Press.