— AIM HIGH. r DION**T MIND Tift BITE. HUNTING FOR "FIGHTING JOE.* Xs Old Char te Arkansas Whs Wasa* Afraid of Hydrophobia CoaM«r»o Mold 1er« Kowmln« aS Will la th« Villa«« of Gattjrsbar*. * A When tbe streets of Gettysburg bad been elearr.1 of all armrd bodies of Uuion sol­ diers, tbe Confederates began to roàm about at will, sigbteneing and foraging. At a bouse, closely barred, a |*rty ® inde- pen «lents baited and l»egan to reconnoiter. Unseen from the street the owner was AS A FOREIGNER SEES US. watching from an upper window, and soon be beard his name utetei in a way very uneer He Think* Americans Are Contradictory eiuomous. Tbe door plate revealed the name, Mortal«»—Common Senee Needed. and one of tbe Confe.I«• rates, who was a Ger “You Americans,” said George Q Taylor, man, amused his companions by spelling it a foreigner, to a group of New Yorkers, “are out. “T-y-^n, Tyson.” Then added, tbe most contradictory set of mortals on ths “Wonder who he is?” and, going to the door, globe. You stave all day and spend aD night. he liegan to poiMid' with fist «nd heels to You submit to all sorts of imposture r od ex­ ?t!*irin the bouse. The manner of the men tortion, yet you are terrible tighter* when seemed so good natured that Mr. Ty**u aroused. Little things do not seem to fret opened the door and invited them in to try you as they do foreigners. You are cheerful bis excellent water, for they all looked warn« and courageous in tbe face of hopeless dis­ and exhausted. After drinking bearvlly tb< aster, yet never seem unduly elated if you German spoke up again aud said: make a million or two. Now, why should “Where is ‘Joe’ Hooxerf We’re after him such a people choose to wear the darkest and and we mean to have him if we have to g<> most gloomy looking clothingT to Philadelphia for him.” A bystander ventured the remark that be At this hour the streets were filled with didn't anything particularly somber about ca rta «nd wheelbarrows, and excited men and the average American attire. women bearing trunks and bundles and “You don't? Have you ev^r been up in the leading frightened children; mothers with Western Union tower? Well, you ought to babes in their arms in the throng, aL go up there. I made the ascent the other hastening out of reach of the soldiery, th» day, difficult as it is. The view is entrancing. bullets and the shells. Officers in gray rode But when I looked down into Broadway it Old Friend—And bow are the boys getting up and down warning tbe people to remove­ made me shiver. The hurrying crowds on slongf women and children to places of safety, a> the sidewalks looked like two unending Proud Father — Splendidly, splendidly funeral pnx’essious moving in opposite di­ They both live in the same town and both art Dee was about to shell the town. It was a trying moment, but Tyson would uot be rections. Black, black everywhere. All tbe lotting rich. scared or cajoled into revealing anything. red haired girls must have been up town, for “Glad to hear it. very glad. The eldei He dulnt know “Joe” Hooker any more than there wasn't a white hunb to be seen. The one, 1 remember. learned the trade of shot he knew l^ee’s humblest private, but he hail only relief to the eye was an occasional making; What is tbe other oneF bis garret full of Union soldiers who had Broadway surface cur. It was the most “He’s a corn doctor "—Omaha World. been cut off iu the street, and be decided to gloomy spectacle I ever looked down ufion, I be a knownotbiug, and send the scouting yet I knew that beneath the dark exterior F'orjjot ThAmselvM. Confederates away aBIgnorant a» they came. there were warm hearts, active brains and -My beautiful Choo!is, 1 neffer tire of Alter listening to a few of bis blind answers hands e-juaily ready to fight or work.” luking at vour lofely nair ‘ * the spokesman agreed to be satisfied with “Wei!, wnat would you have u»do? Dress Tbe young couple sat in tbe elegant parlor ol some bread and butter and clear out aud in bright colors during the winterT was a hotel. enjovtng a tete-a-tete They were 01 seek for “Fighting Joe” elsewhere. There asked. their wedding tour Julia Van Sumkins, th« was a fresh baking of bread in the house, but “Not at all. Use common sense, that is all. Europeans generally do not see tbe necessity beautiful Pennsylvania hemes. who bad me', Tyson did not know what panicky times tor dark colors in winter. So long as the tbe distinguished foreign nobleman. Count might follow, and he knew that his blue clothing is heavy and warm the-culor doesn’t de Bergamot, while on a visit to her fnend.- coated wards up stairs were hungry; so he put on a long face and declared that be matter. You can wear btact over there i^* in th« metropolis, had yielded to the impul you like without exciting remark. But here; . sire ardor with which tbe count pressed bn bad just bad a visit from a party of Confed­ «mt. and after a brief courtship the two wen erates *ho had eaten up about all the pantry ‘ if a man wears a heavy plaid suit in winte? married Life looked blissful and romanti« contained^ and there really was not “enough be is contemptuously regarded by native, to tbe ecstatic young couple, find a futui » left now to tiegin on.” The true bummer even though his critic may be Snivering in his thin, black clothes. Take a New England full 6f rose embowered vistas, endless moon never expects to live high on a route that has town, New Haven for jnstance, if you want light reVerrea. and the dreamy dolce fai just tieeu traveled by others of his kind, and to see this provincial spirit in an exaggerated niente of far away tropical Edens, who» these unfortunate fellows took the burgher’s Corm. A faultlessly dressed New Yorker is existence was guessed by both but unspokei word for gospel troth and went away in peace. ______________ on object of universal admiration. People by either, rose before their rapturous vision Tbe bead of the beautiful bride rested con run out of stores to look at him. A shabbily Qdingly on the shoulder of her husband, th* dressed man, even though his clothes fit him Something About Hadeau. better than those of tbe average New Haven noble Count de Bergamot, and at the noun- Badeau was born about the time Andrew of bis voice she looked up. * dude, is at wire and on all sulas regarded Jackson was concluding bi« flnit term. He a sneak thief who ought to be in the lockup.. " “1 am gtedvmjr de4U' count»" she sum was *> years old wheu thqjvar broke out, “that my hair pleases you." But an Englishman or other foreigner in a and after it hail been going on for a year he Lifting the lovely bead from his should, plaid suit is an object-of horror. To see the volunteered, and was appointed an aide on open mouths, and uplifted hands ode would I the noble foreigner ran his fingers throug. the staff of Brig. Gen. Thomas Sherman. II., think Barnum's rhinoceros was loose in the tbe wavy masses of her golden hair for a fev was from this position that Grant took him street. I always put on a black suit when I moments in silence, and then with a defer and made him his military secretary, with the go to New Haven, for I cannot do business ential. suggestive inflection of voice he ab rank of lieutenant colonel, and afterward there in any other sort of clothing.”—New eentlysaid; __ A coloneL He retired from tbe war at its close York-Evening - ------ ----- - _ “Havaa shampoo^ ikF, Recovering himself as his bride looked a> a brevet brigadier, and it was through Grant An Editor'» I'lgeon Hole». him with a start of surprise be drew fron that he was made '•ecretary of legation at When, iri the midst of my writing, some­ his pocket a rather lean wallet, took a buiA London. He was employe«! by Grant here, at Washington. and he accompanied Grant thing turns up that “must go’’ in or before note from it and handed it to her. the next paper, I.shove it into a pigeon hole “My tear Cboolia/’ he said, “let me haf U oh his tour around the world, it was through Grant that he got to be consul general at - marked “Immediate.” This-pigeon hole j&appiue&. of gifting you my first present o Havana, and he has been mixed' up in some claims first attention when I have breathing ' pm monish!” space. After this is cleared I turn to one The fail bride took the note, looked at th. question as to his right to certain salaries which he had drawn. 80 far, all of his offi marked •‘•Advance”—matters that need time . figures that indicated its denomination, tap to develop, and want to be started well in ped in a mechanical way on the centei cial positions came through Grant. His literary position he acquired in the advance. • ? _ ■» table, and called out in a shrill voice; same way. It was through Grant that he One marked “Current” is devoted to mat­ “Ca-a-arsh!”—Chicago Tribune. got die material for his “Military History of ters that ought to lie attended to regularly I Ulysses 8 Grant.” It was through him that with every issue, though not necessarily be­ r Simply That. ' fore a giveirday. Things accumulate hore He was apparently making a bee line foi he got the exjierience that enabled him to write the works on the aristocracy of Eng­ sometimes, but sooner or later they are polity headquarters. His clothes were torn groin id exceeding fine. and soiled, bit whiskers full of cotton bat­ land, and it was through him that he made Best of all is a pigeon hole labeled “Con­ ting. his bands cut and bleeding, and the money out of his tetters beaded “Grant in Peace.” To show that it is true, it is only tingent.” It is practical, comprehensive, officer who met him promptly exclaimed: and—within human limits—unerring; it is “Hight down to tbe first corner, and then necessary to cite tbe other things which be has written, which have attracted uo notice packed with heads and tails for which I know turn to the left. The sergeant will hear your whatsoever. Badeau published in 1859 a the missing extremities will some day be case.” book called “The Vagabond,” a collection crying: “Here is a ctlrious Contrivance; I “What caseT of essaysiwhioh you will not now find even want a description of it; I saw one once; “Don’t you want the gang arrestedF then I shall find it here.” I do. “You “For what? No one has done anything tx> in second hand book stores, and his “Con­ spiracy; a Cuban Romance,’’/published in promised.” “Ob, no!” “Oh, yes! I have me.” your letter here;” aud I have. “What istthe “They haven’t! Why, I thought from 1885, has hardly bad a national circulation. The truth is that Badeau has tiecome great mau's address/ If I ever had it it will be your looks that”----- here;” it is. What date was it sent? There “Oh. come off! Pm simply moving into by ,the reflected light of Grant, and the at­ tempt to make out Grant an ignorant, un­ was a receipt. Look here.” “Where is that another bouse.’’—Detroit Free Press. grammatical writer, and a man unable to circular; that price list; that funny letter/ write tbe book which be left his children, has What wtpi the size of that page? How many An Annoying L ons . fallen flat, as far as W ashiugton is concerned. did I couiit? Here!” “Oh, you want your It may be that Badeau was not treated ‘Ode to a V’ioletf I don’t remember it; but rightly in the settlement of the contract if you inclosed stamps we shall surely find it which be had with Grant, but he has un­ here, without any name attached.” questionably injured himself greatly, ih stat A business man would have all these classi­ ing the case as he does. fied, because of a great quantity; but I have Gen. Badeau is a very ready writer, and he only an “infinite variety” of “contin­ gencies,” with perhaps two or three of each writes well. He is a very pleasant conver­ kind; and it is easy to subdivide when the sationist, and his round,' red whiskered quantity presses. Every memorandum or face, his short, stumpy form and his pleasant paper which I want to forget until called blue eyes are well known in Washington. He for, and then find handy, I put here; those has been spending the winter here, and 41 Is a which are likely not to be called for soon I matter of regret to his friends that he has put in a big drawer, which I label—in my become Involved in the present controversy. mind—“Remote Contingent.” It is thick Even were he correct in his statements be with the dust of ages.?r- VFvistan Dixey in would have trouble in proving them to the The Writer. satisfaction of tbe people, and he has entered into a controversy in which ho is handi­ it is upw c.-i’ied* “cascavIlTn” or “per- capped ac the outset, ami into which he will gamino,” each ifrain being ciothed in a get into more trouble the further he goes. thin shell, which when sun dried liecomes crisp and brittle, and is easily removed in There is no doubt in the minds of the leading mortars; the coffee is then said to be in Mistress—Why. Bridget. I thought you thinkers at^AVashington that Grant is the “oro,” or gold, from its yellow color, and. were going out this afternoon! author of his own book, though he may have is practically ready to be toasted and Bridget—Sbure, mum, ond 1 intinded to,' received some of the advice and the assistance ground for table use. After |hts it ia re­ but it s hot meeilf that can foind me muso which Gen. Badeau could, from bis famili­ volved in the “sept nd ores,” or hot cylin­ roll, bad cess to itl—Texas Siftings. arity with the subject and his knowledge of ders perhtrated with small holes, to grail« literary methods, so easily give.—Frank G. it according to the slice of the grain, and j Carpenter. _________ •_________ Plante and Babies. it is then placed in sacks to be shipped to Doctor— Pm afraid you don’t take the baby market. Heat is necessary in the grading Statistics Concerning Tobacco. •— process only: all of the other manipula­ out doors often enough. It is uot without reason that it has been Mother— Nonsense. She catches cold every tion is done with water power.—Francis j time she goes out, I'in sick of this air bath said that you can prove auythihg by statis­ J. A. Dare in New York Times. tics. Under Louis XVI, for instance, the foolishness. “When Seen Too Oft.“ “But. my dear madam, you know flowers tobacco tax only produced 000,000 francs, be cause the consumption was small. At that can’t get along without sunshine”— FIRST HAAY “Weil, flowers can’t get along without wet time the average dUrution of life was twenty­ Fond Young Mother du with tbai .„^1 dog Yuu'U boa deud man in le»M u uinedaya." —v * •Wall. I’ll wait an’jK» an’ef whut you Young Mr Diplomat ■wycuiiH* trim, w'l I’U up I ain’t w partyi-l *> *>rry. Mis Nalw nan ter dispute muted the lashes, smoking a cigai box and----- he i r ch rods were of exceptional size, an« “But, my dear. I don’t want th < v iven uot in use they were kept immerse« IJ i t>ox.” vater so as to make them more pliant. Afte “No. I know. Mamina said ahsuitf he tenth lash tbe shrieking ceased, an- tilled with new potatoes, we're ■* .aiioutarea wonderful mystery tc the uniin “Yes, he was.” tiatety, A variety of cigar»- suspended from “1 am collector for the American i tbv mantel by different hued ribtjons, or a trust. Twenty-five dollars, please.M hunch of cigarettes attached to a picture World. frame by means of a huge ribbon bow, these A Oonsclentloas Child. are easily known for what they are. but a The Minister—And what kind of pretty little box on tbe toilet table, with the inscription ‘Cremated July 12. 18X7.” calk Flossie, do you think you will iMfff tor many a guess I'he ojien lid disclose* a you grow up! , J Clara— Why don’t you answer, FW neap of gray ashes, with another inscription Flossie—I hardly know, sir; I dost ’Mount lieeert. July 12, ’87" It ts> tbe ashes of a cigar srnoke«1 by the fair owner during it*« right for me to think about a mild thrtation of the last season. A parcel until Bister Clara is out of the wty.-l of canes, tropine* won in fencing matches, Knowledge of Human Natal* occupies a prominent wall spare, ail'd a velvet phuxiue mounted with pipes of all kinds, First Burglar—That would te «• from common clav through cob and briar bouse to enter. wood to meerschaum, are souvenirs of gentle­ Second Burglar—Mighty pretty f men fnemte. Ail sorts of riding whips rise going m. Wonder if she lives (ter** “Guess so, she went in without to® tike cat tail.* from a large vase, a pair of oars “No use trying tha^ bouse, ttes marked “ Isles of Shoals’’ are crossed over likely the old man keeps a big draped over a pi ere of statuary Tlieee are quite World. common souvenirs of vacation delight* and Preparing for lh. render recollections, hut many of the girls Friend Uecting oddities. Out or them exhibit* a tiny Jaitatiese bowl your father and 1 are going tilled with sliming-objects of ivory white- row, Bertie« ,, ... Bertie—Oh, yee; pa u getting Friend—label Digging baA * “These are the first teeth of rnv friends' Bertie—No, «ir, he’« reading ■■ nahiea. ’sbe explains.—Clara Belle in Chicago i nbun&—4- " x —Judge. Called Oat of Town. Citizen (to little boy»—Is your father in, Bobby» Little Boy—No. sir; pa’s out of town. Citizen—Gone on business! Little Bey—1 dun know. I heard him tell 'He that he wouldn't tie back until she had got through cleanin’ housa Mebby it's buai, ness. an* mebby it’s pleasura I dun know.~ Harper’s Bazar. Quickly Diep'”«4 Magistrate (to prisoneri-D»1 derly; wimt’s your nam«l Prison«*—Gawg« « «.bugt«« • son. sah. _ «f Magistrate — Well, d Hick Johnson, it’s |10 or UW Epoch.