flOQD RIVER GLACIER, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1917
1 1 LJ$k , Zower cos
JJl-J Less furnace heat
fJ needed fewer grate
tt ifi,. and coal-stove fires.
V iV VonMe. Fuel con-
VTHltAT. umedon1ywhenheat
V jf EnpTH ' neeen0 'aste-
OIl 2sai-vt 1 N II7,oke or dor' L4
PEARL STANDARD OIL yT
V on X OMPANT I
(uuhmm) fciJ
PERFECTION
OIL HEATER
FOR SALE BY
E. A. Fran Company. Blowers Hardware Co.
Stewart Hardware XX Furniture Co.
D. McDonald. A. C. Staten.
STATEMENT OF THE CONDITION
OF THE
Butler Banking Company
of Hood River, Oregon
at the Close of Business, November 20th, 1917
RESOURCES
Loans and Discounts $530,797.44
Bonds, Warrants and Stocks. 72,461.80
Savings Department Loans. 138,458.54
Safes, Furniture and Fixtures 7,059.98
Real Estate 35,660.83
Cash on Hand and in Other Banks. 146,405.90
1930,844.49
LIABILITIES
Capital Stock '. '. ..$100,000.00
Earned Surplus and Undivided Profits.. 29,487.45
Deposits 801,357.04
$930,844.49
Gain in Deposits over corresponding date one year ago, $320,713.77
To my old and new Patrons :
I am now contracting
PRUNING
IN THE HOOD RIVER VALLEY.
Let an expert tend to your ' Orchard. Write me for
prices. When writing, give age, varieties, number of trees
-per acre, and previous care.
L. M. BERNSTEIN, B. S. A.
83 CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
PORTLAND, ORE.
When In Portland
Stop at the Palace Hotel
One of the best hostelries of the Rose City.
Washington Street at Twelfth
The cleanest rooms in the city, first class service,
fireproof, strictly modern, free phones, large ground
floor lobby, steam heated rooms, with or without bath,
hot and cold water, in shopping and theatre district,
50 cents per day and up, and special weekly rates.
An inspection will convince you.
All of our deliveries in all parts of the city are
made by our exclusive automobile service. Your
purchases of Meats, highest class fresh and cured,
Butter and Eggs and Fish, will be taken to your
home promptly.
We believe that we work for our own best inter
ests, when we give our customers the best service
that we can possibly render and supply their wants
with the best product at the best values. This is
our aim.
W. J. FILZ MEAT MARKET
We give iMC Green Trading Stamps
ayi
SATAN TO KAISER:
HOHNS OFF TO Y01T
(From the Portland Telegram) .
Louis Syberkrop, of Creston, bat ac
quired much fam in recent weeks as
author of a satire on Kaiser Wilbelm.
Requests have come to him from Tu
multy, Secretary Daniels and Roose
velt, and people in every state in the
Union and Canada have asked for cop
ies of Mr. Syberkrop's article.
"Ottumwa, Iowa.
"The Infernal Region,
June 28, 1917.
"To Wilhelm von Hohenzollern, King
of Prussia, Emperor.of All Germany
and Envoy Extraordinary of Al
mighty God :
"My dear Wilhelm:
"I can call you by that familiar
name, for 1 have always been very
close to you, much closer than you
could ever know.
"From the time that you were yet
an undeveloped being in your mother's
womb have shaped your destiny for my
own purpose.
"In the days of Rome I created a
roughneck known in history as Nero.
He was a vulgar character and suited
my purpose at that particular time.
In these modern days a classic demon
and efficient super-criminal was need
ed, and as I know the Hohenzollern
blood, I picked yon as my special in
strument to place on earth as an annex
of hell. I gave abnormal ambition,
likewise an oversupply of egotism that
you might not discover your own fail
ings; I twisted your mind to that of a
mad man with certain normal tenden
cies to carry you by ; a most dangerous
character placed in power; I gave you
the power of a hypnotist and certain
magnetic force that you may sway
your people. I am responsible for the
deformed arm that hangs helpless on
your left, for your crippled condition
embitters your life and destroys all no
ble impluses that might otherwise
cause me anxiety; but your strong
sword arm is driven by your ambition
and squelches all sentiment and pity;
I placed in your soul a deep hatred for
all things English, for of all nations
on earth I hate England most ; when
ever England plants her flag she brings
order out of chaos and the bated cross
follows the Union Jack; under her
rule wild tribes become tillers of the
soil and in due time practical citizens ;
she is the great civilizer of the globe
and 1 hate her. I planted in your soul
a cruel hatred for your mother because
she was English and left my good
friend Bismark to fan the flame I had
kindled. Recent history proves how
well our work was done. It broke
your royal mother's heart, but I gained
my purpose.
"The inherited disease of the Hohen
zollerns killed your father, just as it
will kill you, and you became the ruler
of Germany and a tool of mine sooner
than 1 expected.
"To assist you and further hasten
my work I sent you three evil spirits,
Nietzsche, Treitschke and later Bern
hardt, whose teachings inflamed the
youths of Germany, who in good time
would be willing and loyal subjects and
eager to spill their blood and pull your
chestnuts, yours and mine; the spell
has been perfect you cast your ambi
tious eyes toward the Mediterranean,
Egypt, India and the Dardanelles and
you began your great railway to Bag
dad, but the ambitious archduke and
his more ambitious wife stood in your
way. it was then that I sowed the
seed in your heart that blossomed into
the assassination of the duke and his
wife and all hell smiled when it was
how cleverly you saddled the crime on
Serbia. I saw you set sails for the
fjords of Norway and I knew you
would prove an alibi, now cleverly
dona, so much ilke your noble grand
father, who also secured an assassin to
remove old King Frederick oi Den
mark, and later robbed that country of
two provinces that gave Germany an
opportunity to become a naval power.
Murder is dirty work, out it takes a
Hohenzollern to make a way and get
by- . . . .
"i our opportunity was at nana : you
set the world on fire and bells of hell
were ringing ; your rape of Belgium
caused much joy.it was the beginning,
the foundation of a perfect hell on
earth, the destruction of noble cathed
rals and other infinite works of art
was hailed with joy in the infernal
regions. You made war on friends and
foe alike and the murder of civilians
showed my teachings had borne fruit
Your treachery toward neutral nations
hastened a universal upheaval, the
thing I most desired. Your under-sea
warfare is a master stroke, from the
smallest mackerel pot to the great
Lusitania you show no favorites ; as a
war lord you stand supreme, for you
have no mercy ; you have no considera
tion for the baby clinging to its moth
er's breast as they both go down into
the deep together, only to be torn
apart and leisurely devoured by sharks
down among the corals.
"I have strolled over the battlefields
of Belgium and France. I have seen
your hand of destruction everywhere;
It's all your work, super-fiend that I
made you. I have seen the fields of
Poland; now a wildreness fit for prowl
ing beasts only ; they all succumbed to
frost and starvationI drifted down
into Galicia wherejformerly Jews and
Gentiles lived happily together; I
found but ruins and ashes; I felt a
curious pride in my pupil for it was
all above my expectation. I was in
Belgium when you drove the peaceful
population before you like cattle into
slavery, you separated man and wife
and forced them to hard labor in the
trenches. I have Been the most selfish
rape committed on young women and
those who were forced into maternity
were cursing the father of their off
spring and I began to doubt if my own
inferno was really up to date.
"You have taken millions of dollars
from innocent victims and called it in
demnity; you have lived fat on the
land you usurped and sent the real
owners away to starvation. You have
stayed away from legalized war meth
ods and introduced a code of your own.
You have killed and robbed the people
of friendly nations and destroyed Jtheir
property, iou are a nar, a nypocnte
and a bluffer of the highest magnitude.
You are a part of mine and yet lyou
- i . - i -i i .
pose as a personal menu oi uou. An,
Wilhelm, you are a wonder. You
wantonly destroy an tilings in your
path and leave nothing for coming
generations.
"I was amazed when I saw you form
a partnership with the impossible
lurk, the chronic killer of Christians.
and you a devoted worshiper in the Lu
thern church. I confess, Wilbelm, you
are a puzzle at times. A Mohamme
dan army, commanded by German of
ficers assisting one another in massa
cring Christians is a new lane of war
fare. When a Prussian officers can
witness a nude woman being disem
boweled by a swarthy Turk, commit
ting a double murder with one cut of
his saber, and calmly stand by and see
a house full of innocent Armenians
lockid up, the house saturated with oil
and fired, then my teachings did not
stop with you, but have been extended
to the whole German nation. I confess
my Satanic soul grew sick, and there
and then I knew the pupil had become
the master. 1 am a back number, and.
my dear Wilbelm. I abdicate in your
favor. The great key of hell will be
turned over to you. The gavel that
haa struck the doom of damned souls
since time began is yours. I am satis
fied with what I have done ; that my
abdication in vour favor is for Ithe
very beat interest of hell in the fu
ture I am at your majesty's service.
Affectionately and sincerely,
"Lucifer H. Satan."
CASCADE LOCKS.
The steam shovel Is still at work fill
ing, leveling and graveling a few low
places m the Highway through town,
but the work is about completed here.
County Surveyor Cruikshank waa
down from Hood River Friday and aur
veyed the street running from the Co
lumbia Highway to the school house.
We expect this street will soon be
opened. It is an improvement that
has long been needed.
Schools are closed this week. The
teachers are attending the institute at
uooa Kiver.
George DeSpaln haa moved from the
west end of town to the east end. G.
W. Hunt, of Hood River, will occupy
the bouse vacated by Mr. DeSpain.
Rev. Eugene Burr preached his fare
well sermon Sunday evening. We are
very sorry to lose Mr. Burr and his
family.
A petition was circulated last week
asking the county court to appoint E.
W. Bunker as justice of the peace for
mis precinct.
Attorney Baker and Sheriff Johnson
were callers at the Locks last week.
Cascade Locks did well in donating
to the Y. M. C. A. fund.
Mr. and Mrs. E. L. Barnes and Er
win Brollier are visiting their parents,
Mr. and Mrs. C. A. Brollier.
A. 0. Adams. Jr.. has enlisted as a
chauffeur in the Aviation Corps. He
is now at Vancouver, Wash.
Miss Alice Tompkins is recovering
from an operation at the hospital in
Portland.
Frank Hall and James Henderson.
applicants for the postoffice, have re
ceived their ratings from the examina
tion taken at Hood River September
22. Both passed well up in the 80s.
A daughter was born to Mr. and
Mrs. N. C Nelson November 11.
A son was born to Mr. and Mrs. L.
S. Reed last week.
Clark W. Thompson and familv loft
last Saturday ior Santa Barbara, CaL,
to spend the winter. H. C Pearson
will look after their home while they
are gone.
A. 0. Adams. Jr.. drove his car nn
from Vancouver Saturday evening tto
spend Sunday with his parents. He
looKea nne in nis soldier uniform.
We are pleased to see Bert Glazier
on the street again. He has been con
fined to his home for some time with a
bad stomach trouble. His daughter,
Mabel, has come from Wyoming to
look after his welfare.
TROUT LAKE.
E. V. D. Paul has returned from
Portland. Mrs. Paul has gone to New
York for the winter.
The"two plays, the Obstinate Familv
and Dixie Land, given here a week
ago by local talent drew a full house.
Something like 27 was netted for the
school play shed. ThecaBts of the
plays were as follows :
The Obstinate Familv : Mr. Har-
wood, C M. Cutting ; Mrs. Harwood,
Mrs. Cuttinar: Henrv Owens. G. W.
Sickafoose ; Jessie Owens, Miss Mada-
line Bell ; James, the butler, H. J.
Lickel : Lucy, the maid. Miss Ada M.
Alford.
Dixie Land: Uncle Rufus. E. V. D.
Paul: AuntSukie. Mrs. Miller: Dan
dy Jim, Percy Clendenny ; Pansy Blos
som, Miss Bessie Coate ; Lew. H. J.
Lickel; Eva, Mrs. Sickafoose; Lazy
Bill. C. E. Hall: Pete. Francis Hall:
Rose Geranium, Miss Bessie Walker;
Two pickinnies, Geo. Jennings, Jr.,
and Dorothy Fouts. Music by Mrs.
O. J. Smith. Dancing followed the
plays.
Trout Lake Grange elected the fol
lowing officers for the coming year at
their regular meeting: Wm. Coate,
Master; Mrs. Rose Sickafoose, over
seer; H. J. Lickel, lecturer; G. W.
Sickafoose, steward: N. H. Haw ley,
assistant steward ; F. M. Coate, chap
lain: C. M. Cutting, treasurer; Ada
M. Alford, secretary ; C. E. Hall, gate
keeper; Miss Madeline Bell, Ceres;
Mrs. Minnie Lickel, Pomona ; Miss Eva
Pearson, Flora ; Mrs. Margaret Coate,
L. A. S. ; Mrs. Ida. L. Smith, pianist ;
MiBS Bessie Coate, assistant pianist.
HEIGHTS NEWS
Mrs. E. Slutz had a relapse and had
to be taken back to the hospital. She
had a severe attack of pneumonia, but
is reported much bette. She had a run
of typhoid fever and had just returned
home from the hospital when she had
to go back.
Harry and Del Slutz, members of
12th Co., and Earl Slutz, of the Avia
tion Corps at Vancouver, Wash, came
home Saturday on account of the ill
ness of their mother.
Elliot Staten, son of Mr. and Mrs.
A. C Staten, has gone to Portland to
take examination for war service.
Hubbard Taylor has finished cutting
wood at Parkdale, and is home again.
Mrs. Harry Bailey slipped and thrust
her hand.on the hot stove, burning it
severely."
Mrs. M. Sunderland, of Portland.
spent the most of last week visiting
her mend, Mrs. J. n. uui, returning
to Portland Saturday.
Will and George Zolls have purchased
a Ford car and have put up a fine
stone garage on the line between their
lots.
There was an error in one of the
items of the Heights News last week
which read that Mrs. Herbert Dalton,
of Portland, had been in Hood River.
and should have read Mr. Herbert Dal
ton. As we do not know of any Mrs.
Herbert Dalton it looked rather sus
picious.
W. H. Taf t was much pleased to re
ceive a pair of nice wool bed socks
last week knit by his mother, who is
86 yearcs ofage, and does not see very
wen.
!Mrs. Alida Shoemaker is enjoying
he return of her daughter-in-law.
Mrs. Kent Shoemaker, and little grand
son, Edward Shoemaker.
Let all members of the Woman's Re
lief Corps be present at the next meet
ing, December 8. It is very import
ant. Come and find out what it is.
School Meeting
A special school meeting will be
held Monday, December 3, 1917, at 3
o'clock p. m. at the Park street school
house to vote a special tax for school
purposes for 1918-1919. n 22-29
Arm
SALAD ??tlnQn 111
r-y
M AZOL A
is the perfect oil for deep frying,
sauteing, shortening, salad dressings
and the economical one.
DRESSED from the heart of golden American Corn, Mazola
supplies the need for a vegetable oil which is pure and
wholesome.
Fry any food in Mazola and you will find it retains more of the
natural flavor.
Use Mazola over and over again it docs not transmit taste or
odor from one food to another the great factor in economy.
Mazola quickly crisps the surface and thus makes fried foods more
digestible free from greasiness or sogginess.
And since Mazola is a vegetable oil it is an important factor
in Mr. Hoover's campaign to save butter, lard and suet.
Imported oils are so scarce and high priced now-a-days
that you will do. well to use Mazola When you want a really
delicious salad dressing.
You can get Mazola from your grocer in pint, quart.
half-gallon, and gallon tins. The large sizes are most
economical. Also ask your grocer for the free Mazola
Book of Recipes, or write us direct. Your money refund-
ea u raazou aoes not give entire satisfaction.
CORN PRODUCTS REFINING COMPANY
17 Battery Place, New York
SaVaj I
Johnson, Lieber
Company .
FarilisJ, Orf
tea
DISPLAY OF JAPANESE GOODS
We have opened our store at the corner of State and Third Streets
with new importations of Japanese Goods direct from the Flowery
Kingdom.
Silk Embroideries, Shirt Waists, Kimonos, Handker
chiefs, Table Runners, Lacquered Glove and Hand
kerchief Boxes, Miyajima Wooden Ware, Work Bas
kets, China Ware, Novelties, Hand Painted Views of
the Columbia River Highway; we have all kinds of
TOYS for 5 cents, 10 cents and 15 cents and up.
A LARGE ASSORTMENT of TOYS
We Invite Your Inspection
Yasui Brothers Company
State Sl Third Streets Hood River, Oregon
111$
GuaM
Orchard Run Sound Cull
$8.00 ..
Per Ton Delivered to Factory.
Having increased our grinding and storage
capacity, we will be in a position to take care of
your 1917 tonnage.
HOOD RIVER APPLE VINEGAR CO.
GRAVE LYS
i:
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H Rfial Chewing Plug
ID afara the InvMtlon
H ww Patat Air Piof Pooh
m CeuM Nat K Me
U l SUAVELY PLUG TOBACCO.
i, nnmpHMFiwuKHHi.
FraMi ana Class a4 CLJ
Ji Utts Leiiaer tnaa a Ma ehaw
1 m4 a'l ami it.
XA SrminbXJaccUaumuk "SWT"
I MISTER. GOAT -yOU CAN BE
'EXCUSED FOR CHEWING rNY
OLD THING BECAUSE YOU CAN'
fR.tADTHATBlU.BOAm. y
- . QgM I
( IV mV Wm:vnv without fC-l-i
SasaaMaamt-aaltM
Rubber Fruit Box Stamps at the Glacier Office