HOOD RIVER GLACIER THURSDAY, JANUARY56, 1916 The Scrap Booh Mad th Kaiaar Luah. Among U officer wtto re e ruble tbt kaiser, WUhelm II., la a yaug captain who has a prodlgloua talent of lmlta Uun. Soma niontha before the war tbla captain found himself In a hall of tha Imperial palace at Potsdam. Ila was there with other of hit friendi who were officers and began an 1ml tatlon of the kaiser with extraordinary precision la tone, quality of voice, ges ture and appearance. All at once a terrible alienee. W libel m II. bad ar rived In the halL The officers saluted respectfully and remalued motionless. "Very well; go on?' said the kaiser, addressing the captain. "I did. not know you bad this talent." The offl rer hesitated a moment; then, extend lug hla arm and reproducing the In tonatlon of his sovereign, cried In a atrong voice, "Captain, you should lie chased out of the army, but in consid eration of your youth and because 1 know you to be a worthy and brave oldier I pardon you." The, kaiser laughed, and the captain was not pun lahed. Nouvelle Hevue. Life and Work. Iin't It ttrangs that prlncca and kings And clowns who caper In sawdust ring And common ptopla, Ilk you and ma, Att workars for etarnlty? . Kch 1i given a K of tool, A ahapeler masi and a book of rule. And each must make era lif ! flown A stumbling block or a atepping alone. Tamur Faed. A Hearty Meal. "When I wm a little girl," says a correspondent, "1 had the honor of be ing introduced to Mark. Twain. It wan Just before Thanksgiving, and I very proudly told him that 1 was going to pend the holiday with my mint In New York. " 'Ileallyr he drawled, with the most flattering show of interest- 'Well, I hope you will feel after dluner just as 1 did when I went tliore to a bumiuct a few month! ago.' "Of course I Instantly demanded to know, IIow wag that? " 'Very thankful,' answered Mr. CUmena, with preternatural solemnity. 'Very, very thankful because 1 mill had one article of apparel that wasn't too tight a fit for comfort " 'Oh, I know,' I guessed eagerly. 'Your shoes!' But the humorist shook hla head. " 'Xo, no,' he corrected, with gentle sadness; 'my umbrella!' " Youth's Companion. H Aimed High. President Lincoln once had a singu lar Interview with a persevering Strang ger. This was a man who had been no ticed hanging about the White House In Washington. Asked his business, be said he wanted to see Mr. Lincoln and was not going away until he had seen him. Ultimately the president granted the visitor an Interview. "Say, Mr. Lincoln," he began, "do you want a secretary of war? For, If you do, I'm your man." The presldeut Informed him that at that moment he was not in need of such an article. With that the stranger withdrew, but as he was leaving the room he turned and said, "Say, Mr. Lincoln, have you such a thing as a pair of old trousers?" After a hearty laugh Lincoln told his visitor he almost deserved the secre taryship, "because," he added, "you aim high." Left Him In a Daz. Not that It has anything to do with statecraft, but when George Ade and Ort Wells went around the world to gether a steamship agent at Rangoon "done 'em dirt." They bad paid extra fare on a stuteroom to bold It all the way from Calcutta to Singapore, but the British agent at Rangoon crowded another passenger Into their cubby hole. Clear up to the minute of sailing they fussed with the agent, but be was a snarling, sallowed wreck of hu mankind, and they were In a strange land. 'Twasn't any ue. It was a desperately hot morning, and the agent was the only white man lu sight Just before the gangplank was palled in Wells walked over to the agent and said: "You have played oa a contemptible trick, but w are going to get even with you." "Oh, you are, are you?" says he. "I should Jolly well like to know how you Intend to get even." "Well," replied Wells solemnly, "we are about to leave this place, and you have to stay liere," AH the way out of the harbor they could see him still standing there try ing to figure It out. Pctrolt Free Tress. Lack of Precision. Most Important to Marshal Canrob ert's mind was the wording of an order so that It could not be misinterpreted, and his favorite story was "Le Bour geois de Falalse." in the town of Fa )ilse an order was for some good rea mou Issued that no one should go out at night without a lantern. The first night after the Issue of the order an official ran up against a man In the dark and took him licfore the authori ties. "Where is your lantern?" "it Is here." "But there Is uo candle in It." "Your order said nothing about a can dle." On the next night the same bourgeois was again run Into and again brought up. "What have you to say?" "Here Is the lantern and the candle In it" "Rut the candle Is not lighted." "Your order said nothing about its being lighted." The Rev. Irl R. Hicks 1916 Almanac The Rev. Irl U. Micks 1916 Almanac is by far the finest, largest and best ever before printed. The Hicks storm and weather forecasts lor 1115 again have proven their truth and value, and this splendid Almanac for should find its way straight into every home and office in America. The Rev. Irl R. Hicks Magazine, Word and Works, and his unique Ahwinac should always go together, both for only one dollar a year. The Almanac alone is 35c, prepaid. Send to Word and Works Pnolishing Company, 3401 Franklain Ave., St. Jxntis, Mo. Go to Law, The Cleaner, tf MAUD POWELL COM ING TO HOOD RIVER Tha Glacierhas received from W. T. Pangle, manager of the lleilig theatre in Portland, an announcement that Maud Powell, world fanned violinist, will be presented here on Friday even ing, January 21, it the Heilbronner hall. This will afford the music lovers of the Hood River valley one ot the greatest treats ever offered them. Tickets will be placed on sale at the Glacier pharmacy of C. N. Clarke. A number of local people have al ready heard Maud Powell. It may be safely predicted that theyjKillJhear her play again. Because of the musical atmosphere locally, Heilbronner ball bids fair to be well crowded on the date, January 21. The playing of the great violinist at Dayton, O., during the autumn of 1914 inspired the following editorial in the Dayton Journal: "A slender woman standing before a gaping or innocuous multitude! Of course, we know that we are talking about our neighbors; as for that, we are talking about ourselves and all of our kind, big and little. "But a bit of Almighty God stood there clothed in Mowing modest draper ies in her hand was the wand of Mer lin, and in her soul a power that Merlin never knew. "Just a woman! Of coure she is a woman, a woman charged and filled with those liner and higher responses to which mankind, represented in terms of common manhood, is blind and deaf and dumb. A tall, slender, swaying creature, whose bow called angels, genii, spirits, fairies, gods and goddesses; and they came gladly. x "We used to know her; and Time has touched her gently, butjhe has touched her, as he touches alrof mortal fiber, gently. He has not robbed her of the gift which God placed in her hands so many years ago. ilhat gift she has made to grow and multiply, even as the man who employed his talent of gold rightly made it to grow and mul tiply. And can a spirit like hers ever grow'old? No. and no again. She is of the beginning and of tho present and of the ending, if there be an end ing. Talent like hersXcan never die. She is one of the joy givers, one of those free spirits whose mission it is to give to ther dull dwellers of earth a glimpse ofjthe incomparable sweetness and glory of the ineffable lands But what a the use.' zzzi "And she speaks to'the neophyte as well as to the initiated priest in the in ner halls of the temple. We don t know'a tone from a tunnel; an impec cable musical mechanism from a moral monstrosity; but we do know that Maud Powell can play as only the an gels in heaven can play ; and that is a knowledge something worth while: HIGH SCHOOL NOTES (By Mark Moe) The high school's mid-year play. which will be given in about six weeks, is a very popular operetta, entitled, "Sylvia." Mrs. P. S. Davidson and Wm. Chandler will direct the play, they having successfully presented "Lady Nancy." a year ago. In this play there will be over 30 people. Those who will take the leading parts are Misses Lillian Brock and Ruth Ber ry together with Messrs. Allyn Button, Jack Stanton and Malcolm Button. t here is no doubt that these will turn out a good reproduction. hThe boys' basket ball team played the picked team of the Udell district last night, 'those wearers of the blue who journeyed to Odell were Hale, Robbins, Nickelsen, !. Breed, Vonder A he, La tier ty and Cant. Johnsen. I he first league game will be played at WhiteSalmon Saturday, January 15. The girls' basket ball team have at last secured a game. They will go to Stevenson with the boys team Janu ary 28. It is hoped they.will be able to secure more games. Athletic manager Stanton received a letter from the high school at Prine ville requesting a football game to be played next November. They stated that they would like to eliminate the clause in the rules rendering post-graduates and players over 21 years of age ineligible to play. It is not likely, however, that this will be accepted. The next meeting of the literary so ciety will be Thursday, January 13. It will be the last meeting at which the president, Miss Dorcas PeWitt, will preside, as the president of the literary is elected for only six months. Miner Sosey and Harold Blackman have come back to school. The latter expects to go out for basketball. With a basketball floor, the regular size to practice on, the coach could train more than juBt the first ten men. He could be preparing them for teams in years to come. As it is the gym cannot accommodate many, and some of the players who'will certainly be on next year's basketballteam are not even getting practice. The Mascot will be out next Monday and living up to the popular slogan, "Better Than'Ever!" Five Dodge Cars Sold The Columbia Auto & Machine Co. unloaded from cars herejyesterday five Dodge 'automobiles, all of which have ben sold to local men. The cars will be delivered in March. Dating Stamps, Self Inking Stamp? Pocket Stamps, Pen and Pencil Stamps Etc., made to order at the Glacier of fiee at Portland prices. THE ELECTRIC, "ood iv"'s showing "THE GODDESS" before the Peoples. Does you the best that money will Don't Forget the Date, THURSDAY, JANUARY 6, 1916 AT NEW ELECTRIC Today "The Goddess' featuring Earl Wil liams and Anita Stewart, in chaptei two of the Vitagraph serial beautiful. Friday The Paramount Pictures Corporatior provides a novel entertainment in pre senting two great stories as a combin ation feature. The Itwo subjects cor related in this unusual manner arc "Booties' Baby," the world renowned atory by John Strange Winter, and "The Man ou the Case," by Grace Livingstone Furniss, one of the great est comedies from the'pen of .this. noted dramatist. The two stories include every element of dramatic composition, ranging . from delicious comedy to thrilling drama. "Booties' Baby" is the story of a deserted child, who, to tally unconscious of the great good she is performing, restores to her mother the happiness that had departed from her. Portrayed by Minii Yvonne, the famous child actress, "Booties' Baby" will long live in the memory as one of the most tender and sympathetic child stories ever related on the screen. "The Man on the Case," by way of di verting contrast, is a farcical story of a young millionaire who wishes to marry a girl who will love him for himself and not his money, and a senti mental romantic girl who determines to marry only for love, regardless of the financial standing of the man who wins her heart. How the millionaire and the girl meet, under strange cir cumstances, and fall madly in love with each other, is humorously unfolded on the screen. The combination of these two widely differing subjects form a feature of rare and diversified appeal. Saturday In "Stolen Goods," ber third vehicle under the management of the Lasky feature Play Company, Blanche Sweet is provided with the first truly emo tional role which she has essayed under this direction. In "The Warrens ol Virginia" as Agatha Warren, though there are some moments of tense stress, the character is essentially in genous; in "The Captive" the atmos phere is essentially romantic; bui in "stolen Uoods, both the character it self and the entire atmosphere of the play is thoroughly emotional in the good old sense of that term. In this drama Miss Sweet, who is maturing into a young womanhood of wonderful artistic premise, is given full scope to show just how deeply and powerfully she can reach the hearts of audiences. It is said that the big scenes, in which this play abounds, positively holds audiences spell bound and bring tears of sympathy to the eyes of all beholders. Sunday and Monday A rare treat is promised for the movie fans of Hood River. For some time past the management of the Elec tric has been endeavoring to secure the film production of "Beulah," in which Henry B. Walthall, who has been pro nounced the world's greatest motion picture actor, appears. The novel from which this film was adapted is the work of the lute Augusta J. Evans, the bril liant southern authoress, and among the fiction reading public "Beulah" is as well known as Uncle Tom's Cabin. The film follows the original story in every detail and Mr. Walthall and his associate players have made every effort by their acting to preserve the finely drawn characters of tho book. Mrs. Evans was one of the greatest American writers of her time. Allot her works are a skillful blending of the romantic and the intensely human, and Beulah is perhaps the greatest of ber works. The scenes this novel are laid in old Lousiana and the story of the vicissitudes of Beulah, the child of sorrow, and the wrongs that almost distracted the strange Dr. Hartwell, is one of the strongest and most dramatic tales to be found in American litera ture. Miss Joyce Moore, the distinguished English artist, was especially engaged to play the part of Beulah, while Mae Prestello, Clifford Gray, Margaret Nidhols and several other well known players appear in important roles." Tuesday and Wednesday Irene Fenwick in "The Spendthrift," filmed from Porter Emerson Bowne's famous Broadway success. This cele brated story has been made in typical George Kleine style, featuring three well known Broadway players instead of'the usual one accorded feature films. Irene ; Fenwick finds a role splendidly adapted to her unusual and engaging abilities in the money-spending, true hearted but unconventional Frances Ward. She is ably supported by Cyril Keightley as her youthful husband. Malcolm Duncan is also seen in an im portant role in "The Spendthrift." Miss Mattie Ferguson, who played the role of Gretchen Jans in the original stage play, is seen in the same part in the film version. "The Spendthrift" is one of the most remarkable dramatic offerings of the season, combining as it dues a powerful, virile story of today, a noteworthy cast and a series of be wilderingly beautiful interior settings staged without regard to costs or time. Thursday, January 3, Chapter 3 of "The Goddess." Electric Opens at 1.30 Thejmanagement of the Electric the atre is receiving the thanks of country patrons for having changed the open ing hour of matinee shows from 2.30 to 1.30 o'clock. This enables the rural people to see the shows and get home in plenty of time to do the afternoon and evening chores. Thursday, January 6th, three days not that show that we are buy? ; -ft.? ' . "s - :. 1 rv -..:- I Henry B.Walthall in "BEULAH" Sun day and Monday, January 9th and 10th, at the Electric Theatre. Curious Cannon. Not only uniforms, but evea cannon have been made of paper In the past This experiment was once tried by Krupp's, field pieces of small caliber being composed of a metal core sur rounded by a compressed paper pulp. The idea at the back of this was that $uus made of paper would, of course, be far lighter and easier to carry about than guns made of metal. All kinds of substances have been tried fcr the manufacture of cannon. Weapons of wood and stone were once quite common. The Swedes in former time used leather cannon, while In In dia cannon of almost pure gold have been discovered. When Cortes left Mexico the Mexicans attempted to copy his guns In china. Perhaps the most extraordinary guns ever manufactured were the six em ployed for the firing of salutes at a winter fete In Petrograd In the year 1740. These had an effective range of about sixty yards, successfully with stood the test of firing without burst ing and were made of ice! London Answers. How to Tak a Sun Bath To get the maximum benefit from sun baths a regular formal routine should be followed. The first exposure to the sun's rays should not be longer than 10 miuutes. The head should be shaded, while as much of the rest of the body as possi ble should be bared to the healing rays. The best time is it bout two hours after a meal. On the next day and on suc ceed big days longer exposures are al lowed, Increasing as tanning takes place. With little care all acute burn ing or blistering of the skin is avoided. After tho skin has been fully tauned two or more baths a day may be taken. While sufferers from chronic tubercu lar disease and anaemia make up the bulk of the patients at the numerous established sun cure sanatoria on the continent, the treatment will be fouild to have a noticeably bracing and in vigorating effect on those generally run down and debilitated. London Mall. New York Auctions Sell Eighteen Can of Apples. According to the books of the three New York Fruit Auction Companies, eighteen cars of Northwestern box apples, fifty-four hundred and eighty nine cars of California . Citrus fruits, fifty-four hundred and fifty-four cars of California deciduous fruits and thirty-one hundred and eighty cars of Florida oranges and grape fruit were among the fruits sold at auction in New York, last year. Kansas City Sells Direct The Kansas City Auction Company is the only member of the American Fruit and Produce Auction Associa tion that receives consignments direct from the growers. The other auction companies insist upon the growers dealing through sonic association or independent agent. Auction Is Strong At Cincinnati The United Fruit Auction Company of Cincinnati, Ohio, sells $1,000,000 worth of fruit annually. Local con cerns in Cincinnati do no business practically during The auction sales. Cincinnati supplies a territory ot five to six hundred miles with a pop ulation of about 6,000,000 people. Different Doings, "How la your brother, the fashion tble expensive surgeon, doing?" "He Is cutting up high." "And how Is your brother, the dentist getting on?' "Oh, he's plugging away." Baltimore American. Glacier Stamps always print and are durable aa well as attractive. giving Wood Sells for Less We conduct our business on a strictly cash basis. We sell for nothing but Cash, pay the wholesale houses cash and pay the farmer cash for his pro duce. -That is the reason we can make these prices. These Prices Good for One Week Flour Peerless Sk.S1.25. Bbl. $4.80 Pure White..,Sk. ,1.35 Bbl. 5.20 White RiverlSk. " i.40 Bbl. 5.40 : f Sugar HJJbs. Fruit Sugar $1.00 100 lb. sack Fruit Sugar... $6.55 15J lbs. Brown Sugar $1.00 lib. Cube Sugar 10 1 lb. Powdered Sugar 10 Bacon and Lard Shield Brand Breakfast Bacon, lb.-20c Colonial Bacon, lb 17c Cudahy's Rex Hams, lb 20c Picnic Hams, lb He Dry Salt Pork, lb 15c New Bacon Backs, lb 16c White Ribbon Compound,.. .No. 5 65c No. 10 $1.25 Pure Lard-.No. 5 70c-No. 10 $1.30 Cereals 2 pkgs. Puffed Wheat, Rice or Corn 28c 2pkgs. Shredded Wheat.... 23c 3 pkgs. Corn Flakes, 20c 2 pkgs. Cream of Wheat 35c 1 pkg. Albers Oats or Wheat (';) 25c 9 lb. sack Hominy 34c 10 lb. sack Farina 45c 10 lb. sack Whole Wheat 34c 9 lb. sack Graham 34c 9 lb. sack Corn Meal 28c 91b. sack Buckwheat ..r..50c 9 lb. sack Rolled Oats 35c 10 lb. sack Pancake Flour 44c Fruit 1 lb. Figs 10c 1 lb. Seedless Raisins 10c 1 pkg. Otter Brand Raisins 10c 2 pkgs. Otter Brand Currants 25c 1 lb. Fancy Prunes 10c 3 lbs. New Peaches 25c WOOD'S GROCERY RETAIL GROCERS AT WHOLESALE PRICES MAGAZINB 300 ARTICLES-300 ILLUSTRATIONS VEEP informed of the World's Profrress h Engineering, Mechanics and Invention. For Father and Son and All the Family. It appeals toailclasses via and loung Men and women. it is the Xftvoruo flinRtne in thoutundsoc bnniM tlironphout tht world. Our fr'oreltm Corrtftpon Jenia are conatnntly on the waU-a for things new and iuterutiiing and it in Written So You Can Understand It The Shop NofM Doartmnt (20 FBgew) contain rraccioai it i nu inr cuop n uric ana eo wuya lur ui Invmnn to Att tliinm around tha Home. lAmatowr Mechanic (17 l'oga for the Bovr atil uiruwno iiKeio masPining8,teniinowiomHiev ir--i Mhoea. Jewelry, Reed Furniture, etc. Contains in Lt ruction for the Mechanic, Camper and sportsman I mm and Mr lAtrranli lititntR. r.iiimiAu. HinML nnriw SI. SO PER YEAH SINGLE COPIES, ISc Ortar fnm ywr r rtct frw th hMmmt. Bam pi copy wtM b ant an ratjwaab POPULAR MECHANICS MAGAZINE No. Mtchigaa Avaiuia. chicaoo For Butter Labels printed in accord ance with Dairy and Food Laws, call at this office. PEOPLES THEATRE, T1?" 8 ,argest a"d 'tet BstnMBSBMnBHnnHkiKHHBBBEBBsiHB snowhouse, starts showing "THE GODDESS" Sunday, January 9th. The first serial ever run by any of the large down town showhouses in Portland. Is not this a good guarantee of the quality of this picture? !'ltH'l!t',tn,f!l!Pii,,l1' Hi" "' 't? MACHINE x MP, MM W O M E N Love This Magazine McCALL'S is the Tishlon CXJe tnd Home keeping Helper ol mart o .i than ny nher nmsanne in the worlJ. A I ilic bust stvlcs every month; lo thlightfU storiM rtiat enter tain, nd special departments in cooking, hot; e drestmtkiiig, fancy ork, etc., thut lhtm housework and srwc mon) I'rite, only ?('c year, with one celebrated McCa'l Dress Pt tern rfcE. MNO POS-rAt. CAPD New ran I. A FREK Bwnpte C-w . M. CALL'S V.AGAV.HF.; or I. A FHKR Cop, of M CALL'S fin. 44-pate l'HEMIUM CATAMKiUK; or I. McCALL'ii S1UO.CO I'riie Ofcr to vry CHURCH. m SLCAU. CO., 236 tt 246 W. 374 St, Flew Ytti. N. Y. FREE P'W 3 FRFF MnMWAtr!ifra In U 2 lbs. Choice Apricots -25c 2 pkgs. Dromedary Dates 25c Fresh Florida Grapefruit -10c Oranges, doz -.25 30 and 35c Lemons, doz 25c 1 lb. New Walnuts, 18c 2 lbs. Mixed Nuts 35 Soap 6 bars Crystal White 25 i 7 bars Silk Soap 25 6 bars Pearl White 25 6 bars Royal White 25 6 bars W. B. Naptha 1 25 3 cans Old Dutch Cleanser 25 1 can Light House Cleaner 5 Special ! Special ! Del Monte, Stag andMonopole String Beans. These retail at most stores from 15 to 20c. Special for Saturday, Jan. 8 only 3 CANS FOR 25? Not over six cans to a customer. Come early. 5c Will Buy 1 PKG. GOLDEN WEST STARCH 1 LB. ROLLED OATS 1 ROLL CREPE TOILET PAPER 1 CAN LIGHT HOUSE CLEANSER 1 0c Will Buy 3 BOXES MATCHES 1 CAN SNIDEtS SOUP, 19 OZ 1 CAN SALMON 1 CAN SHAD 1 CAN OYSTERS 1 CAN SAUERKRAUT 1 LB FANCY ITALIAN PRUNES 1 CAN DEL MONTE TOMATOES 25c Will Buy 4 LBS MACARONI 4 CANS ASTER MILK 7 BARS SILK SOAP 3 CANS SAUERKRAUT 2 LBS PEANUT BUTTER 6 LBS ROLLED OATS 1 lb Wood's Best Blend Coffee 2 PKGS GRAPE NUTS 0-W. R. & N. Co. Time Table WEST BOUND No. 5, Fast Mail (Mail Only). .5:00 a. rr,' No. 11. Soc-Spokane-Portland 0 :00 a. m. No. 19, Port. P. 8. Exp 9:25 a. m. No. 1, Portland Local 2:45 p. m. No. 17, Ore. & Wash. Limited 4:50 p. m, EAST BOUND . No. 6, Salt Lake Express 1:51 a. m. No. 2, Pendleton Local 10:H0 i. m. No. 18, Ore. & Wash. Ltd 11:5S a. m. No. 4. Portland-Pnget eound 8:SO p. m. No. 12, Spokane-Port. Pans.. 8:50 p. m. J. II. FREDRICY. Agent. COTTAGE HOSPITAL Hood River's Medical Institution Open to the public for treat ment of Medical and Surgical cases.' RATES ON APPLICATION Address Cottage Hospital Assn. HOOD RIVER. OREGON. Mr. Merchant. a."nrip marlrnr nill save you hours of time when marking VOUr CHVhIr. Ar.mirftPV and nMrnH. ira its commendable features. A few cents buys one at this otiice.