IIOOD RIVER GLACIER, THURSDAY. JANUARY 1, 1014 THE WORD HELL 0 Bo Nott FdUet To Send a New Ye&eta . Postal op Calterilap We Have Then Keir Cass Smith BIocR Reliable DugSit A Gsnius. "Wtiat kinder feller U Pete PooIIt- -Brlfht dollar, patient, an a bard worker" "WhP, he can't told a Job fer niore'n t week, ail' I dear hi family ain't got enough to live rfh." Pho; ttiat may le. but nat' that got to do with II? You ee that ineer achaum pipe o" hin'ii? Colored it hlui aelf. You tli.it there hobilr watch rliain lie wears? Braided It blui elf. Notice Hie peach Hone ttiarm banpiu' to it? Carved It biiuelf, an' it took two mouths to flulh. See tUat houu' Uawg he' Pete trained tlmt dawg to lo everything a circus dawg kin ilo. K.ver hear IVte play n the mouth hn au' accompany him self on the clttar? Taught himself. Ever Pee his liandwritin ? Jest like eopiHTplate. all shaded an" t1urihed. an he kin make a awaii wit hunt tafcin" his pen fr'iu the paer. I'ele may not keep a Job or feed his fani'ly. hut he n a peiilus-tbafa what he M'-devo kind I'lain Dealer. me Si.-i. Read This P Before you buy. We ask you to call and inspect our complete line of New and Second Hand Furniture, Stoves and Ranges. Everything in house furnishings We will take your old furniture or stoves in exchange for NEW GOODS. 0. P. DABNEY & SON Guaranteed Cheapest Outfitter Agents for Charter Oak Stoves and Ranges PH0NK 8281 Cob. Fourth and State StS: '' Land For Sale 1 have about 1,000 acres of No.; l Apple Land, most of it under ditch at prices rangiDg from $60 per acre up. In tracts from ten acres up. : J. R. STEELE :MMd Hood River - - - Oregon 4T Can't Eacap Him. On a recent examination paper In chics wan this quextlon: "If the pj evi dent, vice president and nil the meui- tier of the cabinet should die, who would officiate?" Robert, a boy of twelve, thought for some tluve. trying In vSln'to recall who came next In succession. At last a hnppy Inspiration came to hlin, and he answered, "The undertaker!"-Ohl'iipo HallyNewg. children Frankness.! 'ITow well behaved your are." said the minister's wife. "They are perfectly lovely children. added the mlnlHter.- ' The 'parents smiled proudly, and np sHike little Agnes: Ta said. If we didn't ueiiave ne a knock our Mocks off, didn t you, pa .' .-Pittsburgh. I Mspntch. Prtssnct of Mind. Tolonel Ch1v ("Ituffulo Hill") once old the following story of one of his comrades of the plains know u as iiil Hill: "A uiau who nursed a gniU-e against Wild Hill swore to kill him. lie Mood concealed In a doorway, si. -pped out and confronted Hill as the latter ass. ed and leveled a pistol at Ins head. "'I've got you now, Wild Hill, he said, 'and I'm going to kid .m, hut I'll give you one minute to pray!' "Well said Hill with au easy smile, 'it does look like the jig's up:- "Suddenly Hill peered over the mail's shoulder and waved a deprecatory hand. "Hon't hit him, AnAyT he said. "The man wheeled to protect bint- self from the supposed enemy in his rear. He gazed into empty space. There was no Andy nor any one else behind him. and before he could turn round again Wild Hill had killed hlni.' Little Book That Centaina Startling Information. A little book telling at only Or rents, postpaid. Is baring a Try wide circulation running up Into the mil lions. It contains some very startling Information respecting the aSanlng of the word Hell. It claims to demon strate, both from the Hebrew and the ireek ( oar Bible, that Hell Is NOT a place of eternal torment, bnt merely not her untne tbr the TOMB, the UUAYK, the STATE OK DEATH. U affects to show that man was not re deemed from a far-off place 4 eternal torture, but quotes the Scriptures prov- ng that be was HEDEKMED from the GHAVK at the cost of hla Redeemers IKK and that the Scriptural Hope, both for the Church and the World. s a resurrection hope based upon the death and resurrection of Jesus. The took Is certainly worth the reading. The Information It furnishes Is cer tainly valuable, far beyond Its trifling cost. Order It at ouce from the Bible and Tract Society. IT nicks Street. Brooklyn, N. Y. Wonderful lough Remedy. Dr. KruVa New Discovery is kifown everywhere as the remedy which will surelKstop a. cough or cold. i. i son of Elison.Tenn. writes: "Dr. King s New 1'iecoverv is the most woiiucritii cough, cold and throat and lung medi cine I eer sold in my store. It can't be beat. It sells without any trouble at all. It needs no guarantee' This is true, because Dr. King's JS'eW Discovery will relieve the most obstinate of coughs Lung troubles quickly helped by its use Y'ou should keep a bottle in the bouse at ail times for all the members of the family, fiue and 1.00. All druggistsor by mail. II. K. Buckleu & (Jo , 1'hiU delphia or fit. Louis. 19 We Wish You A Prosperous New Year . - The Best You Ever Had Resolve to Buy Your Meats of Us And We Know We'll Both Be Glad HOOD RIVER MARKET A "Friend" of Salesgirls. Tills Is what I call my perpetual shopping ticket." - "Why do you call it thntr "Oh, It's ' something I take along when I hare no money to spe:id. It's a sample of goods that nobody In town can uifttch." Washington Herald. all . Doss She Dock Him? ,. "His wife Is a business woman, right." ' 'What makes you say that?" ' "She's lnstulled a time clock In the ball, and he has to pujich It when he goes out .nights and when he gets back." Los Angeles Times. Tha Wild Boar. The wild boar Is a most courageous animal. The element of In- k counts for a great deal In pig sticking, as in most other forms of siort, 'id it often happens that the foremost sportsiuiii who by dint of hard riding or tliunlo to the fastest horse has come up with the quarry Is deprived of the coveted honor of "tlrst spear" by a sudden "jink" or turn of the pig. The hoar, in spite of ids clumsy appearance, is not only possessed of a great turn of speed, but is extraordinarily active. He will turn and twist like a hare, putting every obstacle in the shape of bushes, rocks, water, etc., between himself and his pursuers, but uli the time mak lug for the nearest patch of jungle and safety. The pace after a pig Is faster than the best of runs with hounds, but Is sooner over. THR SF.WAKD l Portlunil n mont I Dmutilnl lioiel. Now, miMlern nd I cli'tiHiitly appointed. I.nrife coriinr ' lotiby. lAH-aled at lOtb and Alder BIh., opKMlte Olds, Wortman and K I n ic Hit-Hi department lor and In tlie tiran ol tne mail and llif Ire dlntrirt. Rates, $1 and up Bin iiieetn all trains. AIho"W" car ruim trom deimt direct lo Hotel htward. W. M. Seward, Prop. DC 3 C WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A. FRESH SUPPLY OF Nitrate of Soda, Muriate of Potash AND ALL KINDS OF FERTILIZERS COME TG US DIRECT FOR W00D.FIBERED HOUSE PLASTER CEMENT AND LUC AS WE UNLOAD DIRECT FROM THE CARS ST RANAHAN & CLARK Hood River, Oregon Ms StoRweh Troubles Kcr I Mr, Dyspeptic, would you not like to feel that your stomach troubles were Over, that you could eat any kind of food you desired. without injarv? That may seem so unlikely to you that you do not even hope for an ending of your trouble, but permit us to assure you mat, h is not althogether impossible. If others Can be cured permantely and thousands have been, why not you? John It. Bar ker of Battle Creek, Mich., Is one of tiieui. lio says, "I was troubled with heartburn, indigestion, and liver cum- ilaint until I ut-etl Chamberlain's Tab lis, then my trouble was over." Sold by all druggists. .'' Declines the Old Excuse. ; "Haw you. heard about Vlzzard's latest play?" "Yes. They say It's revolting." ; "It is. But give Vlzzard credit for one thing." ; "What's that?" "He flrnily refuses to say there's any .'moral purpose In It." Cleveland Plalu Dealer. gn Ji 1 Sto all kln$$ m We have storage space for of goods in a concrete butltjia Our Tranfer Wagons Will Move Anything . ' Complete Transter Service Transfer & Livery Co. Phone 4111 A Word of Caution. I nenry Yullerby A f tali we's uarole eIl hab chicken foh dinnah eberj q"ay, honey. : Melluda Johnson-Oh, yo' deary! But X wouldn't ask yo' to run no seen risks foh man sake. Puck. The annual 'stockholders meeting of the Farmers Irrigating? Company will be bibld Saturdav. January 10, lull, at 10 A. M. at the Commercial Club Hull fe t&te parpDSB of electing seven Direc tors to KDrvooone wear, and for the pur pose of transacting such other business as unoy 1G3.14? coma Itsfore the meeting. Jtolinauent stau&holders will not be per- itteil to vote. By orddV of Direc.toft. jl M. B.NICKELPEX, Sec. Canned Musio In Scotia. Early in tlie last century an old For farshlro lady Installed In the bedroom corridor of her castle au automatic organ. It was her delight of a mom lug to wake tier guests with Its strains. But It was not the delight; of one of them, Miss Sophia Johnstone of Hilton, to lie no awakened, hnfl she sfltd so. ' "Ye dinna like the uuislo? Ye hliouliliia say that, Sophy," said the hostess. "Y'll no' win to hcitven an' ye dlnna take pleasure in music. It's to he nil music there, ye know." '"Deed," said the Incorrigible one. "an' if heaven's a place wl" utild wives phiyln' on hand organs at 0 o'clock in the uiornin' It's no the place I tk' It for. nor yet the place I want to be In." New Witness. 4 11111 1 1 H-M1! 11 I 1 1 111 1 H"H Goto B. B's. Dairy Lunch : FOR SHORT ORDERS All kinds of sandwiches and homemade cakes and pies a specialty. Good coffee and soups. B. B. SMITH, Prop. Supervised by Mrs. Smith (ink Ml. upp. Kraut Hardware Slore HW-l'I-M-HI III 1 111 H-H-l Handel In Dublin. There was a period of his life in which llauilel, the famous composer, retired from London iu a fit of dis gust. He went to Dublin, and It was there-ln the Dublin Music hall that his great masterpiece. "The Messiah," was produced. "The lierformance writes D. A. Chart, "wus for the bene fit of Mercer's hospital. In order to provide room for a large audience ladies were requested to lay aside their hoops nnd gentlemen their swords. By this means an audience of 700 was crowded Into the spuce, and the con cert realized 400." Oblong Houses. Square and oblong houses are cheap er to build than odd shaped structures The oblong house Is cheaper than the square. Timbers come In cortaln lengths, and the house that Is long and narrow takes less timber than one that is qunre that Is to say, the material cuts to better advantage In the oblong house than in the square house; also lei s labor Is Involved In the making Pictorial Review. Wasted Sarcasm. Indignant Wife 1 wonder what you would have done If you had lived when men were first compelled to earn their bread by the sweat of their brows Indolent Husband I should have started a little notion store and sold hnndkerchlefs.-Chlcogo Tribune. Flattering Epitaphs. Charles Lamb, when a little boy walking in a churchyard with his sister and reading the epitaphs, said to her. "Mury. where are all the naughty people burled?" Lanft back may come from over-w?rk cold spttled in the muscles of the back, or from disease. In the two former cases the tight remedy is Ballard's Snow Liniment. It ehohld be rnbbed in thor oughly over the affected part, the relief will be prompt and satisfactory. Price 25c, 50c, and $1.00 per bottle. Sold by Chas. K. Clarke. Bilious? On of Ayer's Pills at bedtime hut one. Acts on Q Irver- Gently laxative. Sugar-coated. All vegetable. . Sold for 60 years. Ask Your Doctor. Kill Catarrh Germ Use Booth's Wyomet ,Try the sure and most effective way ioreacn trie raw, tenner tniiamea mu cous membrance infested with catarrl germs nee Hyomei. You breathe it no stomach dosing. If vou suffer from raising of mucus frequent sneezing, hut-ky voice, dis charge from the n se, droppings in the throat or anv other symptom aof catarrh breathe the gernwlejtroying air of Hyomei. It acts directly on tl inflam ed membranes, destroying the disease germs in the no3, throat and lungs and giving quick ana pennant reltet.ormon ev refunded bv Keir & Cas. The complete outfit, including pocket inhaler and bottle of liquid, costs fl M, Extra bottle of liquid, if later needed 50 cents. Rub tier Stamp Inks and Pads at this onlce, also itamps made to order. KELLY BROS. PHONE 4443 Hay, Grain, Mill Feed Orchard SupfHtes Warehouse on Railroad Street just west of Vinegar Factory. Agents for WOOD STAVE PIPE WOOD and COAL Slabs-Fir-Oak Agency for Genuine Rock Springs COAL A. C. Lofts PHONE. 3464 Real Estate LOANS, RENTING, COLLECT ING AND INSURANCE A BpeclRlty of Clly Property, Residence Lots, and Small Tracts Close lu, Kor Bargalna call on or add rem T. D. TWEEDY Hood River Home Phone 2372 New Schedule Mount Hood Railroad No. J jy. 8 00. 8 OA. 8 1ft.. m 8 40. 9 Oh. 9 r. 20. 45. 10 10. 10 1JV. 10 40. 10 45. Kllentlve 12:01 A. M. Bunday. Kept, t), I 'J 12 STATIONS L,v. . ..Hood River Ar. . . ,PoerdHle ..Hwitohlisck ..Van florn Mohr Odell . . .Hntninil ...Hloucher .. . Wtnans i I)ee .Trout t'rei-b . WKd worth . .c'Parkdle I .. Ml ..i ..2 10 . t 06 ...2 on ..1 60 -.1 ...i m ..1 30 ..I IS , 1 to . 1 00 A. WILSON, Agent. COTTAGE HOSPITAL o Hood River's Medical Institution Open to the public for treat ment of Medical and Surgi cal cases. RATES ON APPLICATION Address Cottage Hospital Assn. HOOD RIVER, 0REQ0N. 9 14 is now with us and we expect it to be" one of the most prosperous this community has even known. Hood River has profited by past experi ence and is now on a more substantial basis than ever before, conservative progress safa and sane advancement will keep this community where it belongs-in front. Thanking our patrons for their support and trusting that we shall continue to re tain their confidence and good will by mer iting it and with best wishes to all for A Prosperous New Year We are yours faithfully. Blowers Hardware Co The Firm That "MaKes Good" Phone 1691 Oak and 1st Sts. T. J. KINNAIRD Groceries Fresh Vegetables and Fruit in Season Flour and Feed Phone 2121 Hood River, Oregon Do You Know that awashiftg machine will only cost you three-fifths of a cent an hour to operate? The following table gives the cost of using var ious apparatus on the 3 cent rate: APPARATUS 20 candle-power Mazda lamp Huditiut toiiHter C'hntiiiK dish fl . . . l)Uk Stove Coffee percolator fl lb. iron H in. fan (full speed) Hewing machine motor Ice cream fn ezrr i Washing machine motor Luminous rnditor (hiiuiII) Heating pail Tubular air beater (mnall) Tea kettle Ozonator Dometdic buffing and grinding motor Radiant grill Cost 0. 07.rc 1. H . 1.8 l.H 1.35 1 (15 0.075 0 1(15 1.2 O.ti 1 5 0.1 3.(1 0.5 0.045 0.1 o5 1-8 Hydro-Electric Company The Purity Dairy Co. Yours for prompt service and Good Milk mOS. D. CALKINS UPPER VALLEY NOTICE List Your Places for Special Attention With WARD IRELAND CORNELL Upper Vallor Ral Estate-Insurance Improved and Unlmprofd Orchard Land Phsns OdU 337 Hood River Connection Guy Y. Edwarda Co. U. C. M. RANCH Parkdale Upper Hood River Valley