fiOOt) fttVStt GLkOtXSi THOaflPAY, APRIL 2fl.BlO.
Nine
Call the Office
Number 0
For the supplement to the directory
If you do not have one. We will mail
it. Then Call By Number.
HOME TELEPHONE CO.
WOMEN AFTER MARRIAGE.
B
.Upper Valley--.
Several large tracts. Several 40 acre tracts.
Smaller tracts, some improved, some unim
proved. These properties are listed right
and go at the right price. ....
W. H. MARSHALL
Phone 1 3 Odell DEE, ORE.
Berry Crates
We will carry them made up at
our Hood River yard. Can sup
ply them in any quantity, and
our price is right See or
phone us before placing that
order. Phone 96M
Bridal Veil Lumbering Co.
According to Brother Buckaloo Thoy
Are Different a Wivaa.
l.KKi ; i:i i to say. sab. dat its
struue pow'ful strange bow
marriage do change women
folks." philosophically remarked expe
rienced old Brother Buckaloo. "It
works dis uh-way wid one and dat-ub-wny
wid a-uudder, but it sbo' changes
all of 'em somehow.
"Befo' de weddin' she'll have a
whole lot to disclaim, de lady will,
'bout bein' yo' all's cliugln' Tine and
sich poeticals as dat. and afterward
yo1 dess lift ber griddles and yo'll find
her a ragin' furnace inside. Endurln'
of de cou'tsbip, she'll wbispuh sweet
sediments to yo' a nudder lady will,
twell yo' sho'ly think dars a little an
pel us-settlu on ber tongue, and tur
rectly atter de sarrymony yo' 'skivers
dat her heart is as cold as de end of
dog's nose.
"Now, dar was muh third wife, dat
no, come to think, twui muh fon'tb.
Wa'n't nuthln de matter wid muh
third wife dat 1 rickylects at dls mo
ment, 'cept she had slch quaint eyes
-nigh sighted or suppln. She was big
nd po'tly, and I'm small and skimpy
In muh pussonnllty, and I hatter keep
her s'plied wid spectacles dat mag'l-
fled like one o' dese yub magical lan
terns yo' sees at de op'ry show, ub
kase why: Long's she bad ber glasses
on I looked so big dat she treated me
like an equality, but dess let her lose
dern glasses and she'd gimme a llckln'
and put me to bed wid de chlld'en.
Outside o' dat dar wasn't a finer lady
dan muh third wife no place.
But, mub fou'th bless goodness
befo' marriage she was alius noratln'
supplo 'bout economy. Economy-
waste not, want not, and all slch as
dat was ber cry. And atterwards It'
was a po' day dat she didn't waste a
dish by smnshln' It on muh bead and
sometimes many as haflfer dozen dish
es dat cost me good money, too, sah!
Ah Lawd! Dar ain't no tellin' how
dey'll turn out, on'y dat twell be dif
funt fum what yo' expect Dar ain't
no way o' testln' 'em wid acid, and
taln't no use judgln' one by de tudder,
ub-kase dey's all as dlffunt fum each
udder as dey is fum what yo' 'mag-
Ines dey'll be. Nussah. If yo' was to
marry fawty women Id rapid concus
sion yo' wouldn't know no mo' 'bout
de fawty-fust dan If yo'd never seed
none at all. De on'y man dat un er-
stands a woman Is de tall headed gen-
leman dat un'erstands dat he don't
un'erstand her and dess pulls down
his hat and gives thanks dat It's ag'ln
de law to marry mo' dan one of 'em
at a tlme."-T. P. Morgan in Puck.
Stoves, Heaters and Ranges
All kinds, New and Second-hand
liiif Stock of New and Second Hand
Furniture, Carpets, Art Squares Rugs
Chairs, Rockers, fctc.
Agent for CHARTER OAK Stoves and Ranges
0. P. DABNEY & CO.
Spring and Summer Goods
AT
A. L. Carmichaers
on the Heights
Ginghams Curtains
A large assortment at Ecru and white from
10c to 15c $1.00 to $3.00
Dress Linens and Gala- New patterns in all over
ten Cloth. Lawns, Per- and Valinciennes Laces,
i.nW,Oimitieirtud White Insertions and Embroid-
(JlXMlS pripS-
Large Ass't Ladies' Neckwear
SOCIETIES
HOOD 111 V KK COMMKKCIALCLt'h-MeeU
every second Monday In each mouth at t p.
m , in tbe club rooi.is over Jackson more.
I'll as. BALL, Pres.
J. C, 8K1SKKK, Becn-tary.
HOOD RIVER MUKJK N'O. 106, A. K. and A
M Meet unlay ev iln on or before
each to'.' stoat), K tj vvi-uk. W. M.
T Ml l. NAl.n.SviTI'tlllJ.
y Be
W a
iiooo KHer ( oiiiiiimul.-ry Nu 12, K.T,
Mwts every lime I uesaay rrmng
eaoh month, tl l. liAaiiaot i k, k.c
O Blniuiisr. Recorder.
HOOD RIVER CHAI-l'EK NO. 27. H. A. M,
MevU tirst and third Krlday uigli if enck
month C. N.ULiKks. tt. J".
Rkv. W. C uii.mokk. stvrelaiy.
HOOD RIVER CHAPTER WO tt, O. K. 8 -Meet
second and fourth Tuesday evening
of each mouth. Visitors cordially wi lioinecT.
Mks. Kkancss OiTK.v. W. M.
Miss MhKi.K Burnt, .Secretary.
IDLKWH.DK lX)DOK NO. 107, I. ). O. F.
Mreu In Fra'erual hall, every lliursday
night. A. Wilson N. O.
Oko. Thomson, Secretary
KDKN ENCAMPMENT, NO. 48, 1. O. . K.
Regular meeting second and fourth Monday
of each month. J. H. Ferguson, C. P.
Oso. Hhkpahd, Hcrlbe.
KEMP LODUK, No. 181, 1. O. O. K Meets In.
Odell Odd yellows' hall every Hat ur
day night. Visitors cordially welcomed.
W. A. I.OCKMAN, N.U.
t.KO. HHKrAKO, SRC.
LAURJCLi REUEKAH U)IUE NO. 87, 1. o. O.
P. Meets first and third Mondays In each
month. Thkrksa M. Casts k k, n. u.
Nrrritc M. Momrs, secretary.
HAZEL RKHKKAH LODGE No. 186, I.O.O.F
Meets the first and third Tuesday evening In
each month In the Odd Fellows HkII, aeven
miles seuth of Hood River, R. 1' I. Mrs.
Mae Khrck, N. O. MrR. Uertrude I lurk. Sec.
W.O. W meet the 2d and 4th Saturday!
each month at I. O. O. K. hall. Visitors cor
dially Invited. W. A. EBT, C. C.
Floyd SrrRi.iN, Clerk.
OOl) R1VKR ( lltCI.K N0.521, WnMKN OF
Woodcraft -Meets at K. of P. hall on tbe
first and Third Thursdays of each month.
MRS. WM. UANUKK, H. U.
Dora Ha rrktt, Clerk.
DROPS OF WATER.
Thrown Upon a Red hot Stovs, Thoy
Will Novor Touoh It.
It is impossible to throw a few drops
of water on a redhot stove. The wa
ter cat) never touch the stove at all.
Whit Is seen la a few drops rolling
rapidly over the surface, gradually
getting smaller until they disappear.
If tbe drops are on a perfectly level
place oue can see under them to the
other side of the room, thus proving
that they are not In contact with the
stove itself.
What actually happens is that the
bottom of tbe drop changes at once to
steam or vapor on coming close to the
hot surface, and this vapor Is supplied
by the drop as it gradually goes away.
So the drop rests on a cushion of va
por until It Is entirely dissipated. This
state of water is known as the spheroi
dal state and is of interest simply on
account of its peculiarity and seeming
ly paradoxical behavior.
The reason why the drop is not im
mediately evaporated or changed to
steam is also very interesting. The
water vapor that intervenes between
Its under surface and the redhot stove
Is a very bad conductor of heat, and
consequently the full Intensity of the
heat cannot get to the water itself,
only the amount transmitted through
the vapor being available for this pur
pose. St. Louis Republic.
ENGLISH COUNTRY BANKS.
Why Br'er Possum Shows His Tooth.
"Br'er Possum has been showln' his
toofs fur mo'n usual of late," said
Brother Dickey, "an' I wants ter ax
you does you know de reason why?"
No. You tell It"
'Ult's on dis account," said tbe old
man. "He knows rlgnt wen flat ins
home is In de souf, whar be raise an'
bo'n, an' since be got a reputation in
de norf dey been sblppin' him dar by
de carload, an' be don't like tie cli
mate, an' he don't on'erstan' de peo
ple. Dat's why he shows bis toofs so
ter make 'tun think he's a tough,
flghtln' proposition, w'en he de mos
harmless an' juiciest creeter in de
roun' worn 'Atlanta constitution.
Cost of Tuition.
"I see there Is a correspondence
school of poetry."
"I suppose it charges by the num
ber of feet."
"Or else by tbe reading of the me
ter." New York Journal.
Tired.
She j"ou never seem to want to
take me anywhere since we are mar
ried. He I'd take you anywhere if you'd
only stay there forever. Cleveland
Leader.
Along the Lino.
Lady (In modern bookstore) I wish
to see all of the latest books.
Salesman Very well, madam. Will
you kindly step on board this scenic
railway ? Life.
Court or Caught.
WAUCOMA LODUK NO. 30, K. OF P.-
Meets lu K. of P. halt every Tuesday uigtil.
N. Y. Tostkvin. C. C.
Law is K. Ikknukro, K. of R. and S.
HOOD RIVER CAMP, NO. 7,702, M. W. A.
Meets In 1. O. O. F. hall every v MBttasYJ
night. A. R. CHimr, V, C.
Ku. Mayes, Clerk.
KIVKHSIDH IOIXJENO. 68 A. O. U. W-
Meets flrst aud third HMWaayi ul each
month. K. K. Chapman, M. W.
UEO. HLOOOM, Financier
CHKSTKR Suite, Recorder.
OLETA AMHEMBLY NO. 103. UNITED ART-
laans. Meet the Brut and third Wednes
days, work: second and fourth Wednesdays
Artisans' hall. C. D. Hinkichm, M. A.
W. H. Austin Secretary.
COURT HOOD RIVKR NO. 42, KORK8TKRH
of;Amertca, -Meets every Thursday evening
at 8 o'clock,
Wl. Fl.RUtNU, C. R.
F. C. Brosius, Secretary.
ANBY POriT, NO. 16, U. A. R.-MKKT8 AT
A. O. U. W. ball, second and lourlb Satur
days of each month at 2 o'clock p. m. All
U. A. R. members Invited to meet with ua.
Frkd Dietz, Commander.
H. F. Bi.ythb, Adjutant.
ANBY W. K.CNo. M-MKK'IS sKCONll
and fourth Saturdays of each Mouth In A.
O U. W. hall at 2 p. m.
MissCi.ARA Blythe, President.
May Fernai.u, Secretary.
MOUNTAIN HOME CAMP No.34l, R. N. A.
Meets at 1. O. O. F. Hall oa the second aud
fourth Fridays ol each month.
Mem. A. R. Ckump, O.
Mas. C. U. Dakin, Recorder.
II.VUTI?II I RMS SI,, III U I ( A
I n 1 1 111, Hi','..!.. " 1 - I u. .
meets first and third Fridays of each mouth
at K . of 1'. hall.
Carson bivki.in. pres.
ADO. Uuionahd, se .
MT. HOOD LODUK No. 205, 1. O. t. K.-MeeU
every Saturday evening lu Urlbhle's hall
Mt, Hood. A. M. Keli.ky, N. (i.
U. W. Dim urn K, Sec.
HOOD RIvKR VALLKY HUMAN K SOC1KTY
Hood River, Ore. K H. Hart wig. Pres.
F. U. Coe, Sec. Li site Itutler. Treaa.
ORK'JON URAI'i. KKBKKAH LODUK NO.
181. 1. O. O. K. Meets secon I and fourth
Wednesdays lu each mouth in Urlbhle's
Hall, Mt. Hood, Ore.
Josephine in. I biers. N. U.
Mrs. Minnie 1 l.ai wood, sec.
WAUNA TKMPLK. No. 6. PYTHIAN SIS
TKKS, meets every llrsl aud third Tuesdays
of each month.
Oeorglana lsenberg, M. K. C.
Kate M. Frederick, M. of H. and C.
MT. HOOD COUNCIL No 8. R. 8. M. Meets
lu Masonic Hsll every third Tuesday In
each month.
W. F. Lara way, T. I. M.
A. D. Moe, Rec.
The Health of the Home
It Takes Strong Iron Bars to Win the
Depositors' Confidence.
Rural customers attach great Im
portance to the bank's outward ap
pearance. A thrifty tradesman having
opened a deposit uccouut with a bank
distant some thirty miles from his
home, the cashier bad tbe curiosity to
ask why he traveled so far when tbero
was a branch of the same bank almost
at his door. The depositor smiled
knowingly and replied, "I lodged op
posite here all the time while this
bank was being built, so I know It's
safe." Balance sheets to tbe rustic
are a meaningless and arbitrary ar
rangement of figures. Iron bars be
understands.
In a city in tbe north of England
there is a bank widely known for the
artistic merit of Its doors. Designed
by an eminent sculptor, they are ex
ecuted in relief lu copper or bronte
and appear to represent tableaux from
"Aesop'i Fables" and Greek history.
About a week after they were unveil
ed an old man who had been a de
positor for many years withdrew his
balance and took It to a rival bank al
most opposite. Questioned as to bla
reason for changing, he replied: "1
don't hold wl' them doora of theirs.
Punched tin ain't businesslike, and It
ain't safe." London Saturday Review
A Perfect Disguise.
Frank Lockwood's banter was ex
cellent and always good humored.
recollect him cross examining a de
tective in a divorce case, says a writer
in London M A. P. Tbe wltuess was
dressed In well cut broadcloth; he was
portly; a massive gold chain and seals
hung from bis fob; tie might have pass
ed for a country banker or solicitor of
the old style.
Sir Frank (very politely)-I believe
you are a member of the eminent Arm
of detectives, Messrs. Blater A Co.?
Witness Yea, sir; 1 represent that
firm.
Sir Frank-And, I presume, in the
course of your professional duties you
have to assume many disguises?
Witness Yes, sir.
Sir Frank-Pray, may I ask you
what you are disguised as now?
Save the Hard Drag up
the Hill and Buy for Less
In our big stock of Groceries, Feed,
Hardware. Paints and Oils you
will find what you want. We han
dle only first class, up-to-date
goods and our prices are surpris
ingly low. . . . Quick delivery
A. C. STATEN
Phone 136
ON THE
HEIGHTS
Formerly J. H. GILL
HORSES! HORSES!
For Sale or Trade
P. H. MOHR Phone 206K
J. F. WATT, M. D.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Telephones: Office, at); residence,)!! .
HUROKON O. R. AN. Co.
H. L. DUMBLE,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
'alls promptly answer 3d lu town ttr country,
Day or Night.
Telephones: Residence, 16: Office, 16B.
Uffloo In the Hroslus Uutldliig.
E. O. DUTRO, M. D.
Physician and Surgeon
Uver First National Rank, Hood
Rivafi Oregon.
Office Phone 71 Kes. 71 B
Drs. Shaw & Bronson
Office In Eliot Block.
Office phone, No. i. Kisldeuoa, No. M
H. D. W. PINEO.D.D.S.
DENTIST
Office over Telephone
First National Bank 131
0. H. JENKINS, D.M.D.
DENTIST
Telephones : Office 28 ; residence 28-B
Office over Butler Bank,
New Homes.
The Manzannla Orchard A Land Co.
now offer.to the man of small meana an
opportunity to own a fruit ranch in the
Little White Salmon Valley. The com
pany ha plattedabout 1000 acrea in five
and ten acre tracts, and now offers them
for aale at prices and on terms that
make it possililo for those of limited
means to own a cood home of as line
irrigated fruit land as can be found in
the whole Hood Kiver fruit district.
This va'ley is located on the north
bank of the Columbia river, 5 miles be
low Hood River.
If interested see, phone or write to
C. B. Arismau, Underwood, Wash., cen
tral phone, or F. G. Wilson, Hood River,
Oregon, phone 2093M.
ALBERT SUTTON
Architect
Room 16 Hall Building
E. H. HARTWIG,
LAWYER.
Will Practice In All Court.
depends very much upon the perfection
or otherwise of the Plumbing in the
house. If properly done in an up-to-date
and scientific fashion, the chances
are the at mosphere of the home will be
pure, but if otherwise, no one can tell
how soon sickness will break out as a
result. To ensure perfect and thorough
Plumbing let us do it for you at reason
able cost.
Gould & Snyder
Phone 25
"Sold your automobile, ell?''
"Couldn't control it. When 1 ran
fast It took me to the police court, and
when I ran slow it didn't take me
anywhere."
Got Off Cheap.
Redd Did his aeroplane cost him
much?
Greene Four weeks In the hospital.
Yonkers Statesman.
A. L. Caraiichael
on the Heights
Puizled.
8he'a so very lovely,
So dainty, divine.
So graceful and sprightly
And all that Is tine
That I In my fancies
Can hardly make out
It's my wife's old mother
That's dancing about
-Spokane Spokesman Review.
W. G. ALDRED
CONTRACTOR KOR
EXCAVATING & GRADING
Wyoming
COAL
Delivered to any part of
the city.
Transfer &
Livery Co.
E."A. JEROME,
Architect
Hsvlnir had several years' eipertenca In
draftltir and building,! wonld respectfnlly
solicit s part of the patronage of the people of
Hol River who antlclpete building. Terms
rpfnomMe. and satisfaction guaranteed. Of-
rice a' residence on Heights
Philip Francis
General Teaming and
Livery
Wood and Hay For Sale.
Horses Bought and Sold
on Com mission, phone iuk
1101 Wllaon St. HOOD RlVER
HEIGHTS.
Tumsr Wat Gruff.
The great artist Turner la aald to
have been peculiar In hla way of gell
ing hla pictures. At times nothing
could Induce him to part with one of
them, and at other times he wonld re
ceive a customer with the greateat af-
fubllity of voice and manner and read
ily settle upon the aum to be paid for
one of his treasures. On one occasion
when he was offered 1,000 apiece for
some old sketch books be turned them
over leaf by leaf before tbe eyes of
the would be purchaser, saying, "Well,
would you really like to have them
Then, just as tbe man proceeded to
take possession of the books, Turner,
with a tantalizing "I dare say yon
would!" suddenly thrust them into a
drawer and turned the key in the lock,
leaving the customer dumb with In
dignation.
Not Up on Slang.
"I'd like to get a room for the night,"
drawled the old man with tbe chin
whiskers and yellow satchel.
"By Jinks, Buttons," whispered the
clerk to tbe bellhop, "all of the rooms
are filled, but we don't want to dis
courage the country patronage, to
we'll have to give him some kind of
a 'stall.'"
But the old man overheard the re
mark and fired up Instantly. "No,
yeoti don't!" he blurted defiantly. "By
crickety, no! If I wanted to sleep In
a stall I'd stopped at the livery stabl
on the other corner." Chicago News.
An Insulting Style.
"Ol did not mind the threats av him
as much as tbe Insultln' style ar bis
remarks," said one Irishman to an
other.
"And what did he suy?'
"Well, he snys to me. 'Hogan,' says
be, 'tis a great notion Ol bave to
Jump on you mid knock your face Into
shape!' "
W. W. NASON
CONTRACTOR
Brick, Cement and Plastering
Battel ith Flooring
HOOD RIVER, OREGON.
A. 0. BUCK
NOTARY PUBLIC AND INSUR
ANCE AGENT
Room 12 Brosims Block
i)a. M. H. hhakf Kdna B. Hbabj
Osteopathic Physicians
iraduates tl the American School of
Osteopathy, Kirksville, Mo.
Office in Elliot Block.
Home Phone 102 lies. 102-B
FC. BROSIUS, M. D.
PHVMIOIAN AND SURGEON
'Phone Central, or 1U.
Office Hours: 10 to 11 A. M.; 1 to
aud s Hit r M.
DR. EDGINQTON
Smith Building .
HOOD RIVER - - OREGON
A J. DERBY
Lawyer
HOOD RIVER, OREGON.
M. E. WELCH,
LICENSED VETERINARY SURUEON
la DreDared to do anv work In the veterln
ary fine. He cau be found by calling at or
phenlug to Clarke s drug store.
FREDERICK at ARNOLD,
CONTRACTORS
and BUILDERS
MatMtasfaralskt4 all klnsW
Stranahan & Slaven
Contractors and
Builders
HOOD RIVER, OREGON.
JOE WRIGHT
CARPENTER AND BUILDER
Phone 251-L
Katimates furnished on request. An
honest job guaranteed.
W.J.Baker&Co.
Dealers in
REAL ESTATE
Fruit and Farm
Lands
Resident Agents For
Phoenix Assurance Co.
OF LONDON
Fruit Growers
If vou want vour young trees to do well
and make a good growth use tome Dried
Blood and Bone when you plant them.
ANALYSIS
Prom State Experiment Station, Cor
vallii, Oregon:
Nitrogen 6.05 per cent.
Phorphoric acid. . .7.86 per cent.
Made and For Sale By
E. J.YOUNG, Hood River
BERT LANE
Successor to 8hrum Bros.
Confectionery. Cigars and
Tobaccos
Sporting Goods
First National Bank
OF HOOD RIVKR, OREGON.
Resources over $600,000.
Capital 100,000 Surplus, $80,000.
Cuts. O. Pratt,
President.
J.U.Osborne, R.W.Pratt,
Vlee Pre. Caalilnr.
Hood River Banking
and Trust Co.
We transact a general banking business aud
own otirown banking property.
Interest paid on time and Havings deposits
Safe denoslt boxes.
Wb
Here's Luck, Ethel!
"Ethel Is tiot very handsome.
do you call tier a belle?"
"She's waiting for some man to ring
her." Boston Transcript.
Hasty climbers have sudden falls.
French Proverb.
Two Bargains
A Snap: 32 J acres near Odell Odell,
only $150 per acre all under the ditch
The best buy in the lower valley. Terms.
40 acres, fine orchard land, all under
ditch, 10 acres cleared, 8 acres in orch
ard. I acres bearing, rest in young
trees. This will make a fine home or
prove a good speculation. Write for
information to A. SCHILLER, Dee,
Oregon. Phone Odell 1x2.
The Apple Growers
Union
WILL SHIP
Strawberries, Raspberries,
Blackberries, Cherries
Etc., this Season.
Our shipping facilities are of the best, and we have a long
list of good customers turned over to us by the Fruit
Growers' Union, who have sold us their property and busi
ness. This gives us the finest outlet for our berries right
from the start. We solicit your berry shipments and be
lieve we can do your business in a way that will please you.
Hood River Apple Growers Union