BdOD RIVEfl QLAOIEft, T&tTRSDAV. JULY 2. 1008. Five A PERSIAN SERVANT. H. Wm totioal Evn if UmIm. an4 Dishonaat. la om wij Persia remind ooe fllm tf ot England, for there are tucn tUaja aa difficulties with erranta even In Teh ran. The author dlsmlsaed one of hla set-rants, who, aa be bad been tailor, waa Incompetent to do anything bat lew on button. The man pro tested, "What will become of me now that I hare been eating your a)t for such long time and am driven out into the streets T He waa reminded that be had only been employed for a fortnight He answered that he felt It had been for years. He was told that he waa no good, but his volubility on ly Increased. "How can I be no good after having stayed with you! Can you forget what Ba'dl said: 'A piece of clay having fallen Into the Hammam from my beloved's hand Into mine, I said to It, Art thou musk or ambergris that I am drunk with thy perfume, which catches at the heart V It an swered: 'I was but a worthless piece of clay, but I was in company with a rose for a moment This companion ship transformed me or else I should still be the same piece of clay that I waa.' One can pity the state of an English mistress confronted with such an ar gument The author kept his servant another week, and he remarks discon solately that In that time he discover ed that If the tailor was a poet ha wu lso a thief. London Globe. A Millionaire's Ilaby attended by the highest priced baby specialist could not be cured of stomach or bowel trouble any quicker or surer than your baby if you give itMcOee's Baby Elixir. Cures diarrhoea, dysen tery and all derangement of the stom ach or the bowels. Price 25c and 80c. old by Chas. N. Clarke. How to Snub Bore. A friend of mine returned the othe day from an American tour and told ma that he received a severe rebuke out of the mouth of a babe which cur ed him of expatiating on his experi ences. He lunched with his brother soon after his return and was holding forth with a consciousness of brilliant descriptive emphasis when his eldest nephew, aged eight toward the end of the meal laid down his spoon and fork and said plteously to his mother: "Mummy, I must talk. It does make me so tired to hear uncle going on like that." A still more effective re buke was administered by a clever lady of my acquaintance to a cousin of hers, a young lady who had Just re turned from India and was very full of her experiences. The cousin had devoted herself during breakfast to giving a lively description of social life In India and was preparing to spend the morning in continuing her lecture when the elder lady slipped out of the room and returned with some sermon paper, a blotting book and a pen. "Maud," she said, "this Is too good to be lost You must write it all down, every word." The lesson was not thrown away. Putnam'a Mag ailna. Poison Oak I'olsiimlng. Ballard's Snow Liniment cures it. Mr. 0. H. P. Cornelius, Turner. Ore. writes My wife lias dUcovend that Snow Liniment cures " Poison Oak Pois ioning", a very painful trouble. She not only cured a case f it on herrelf, but on two of her friends who were poisioned bv tliiR same ivy. Price 26c, Oc and fl. told by Clias. N. Clarke. $150 for liest Article. The Reublioan nuugressioual Com mittee offers $150 for the best article not exceeding 1,000 words ou the sub ject: 'WHY THE REPUBLICAN PARTY SHOULD BE SUCCESSFUL NEXT NOVEMBER." The competition is open to all. In judging the merits of the com petitions ooeideiation will be given not only to style, arguments and facta presented, but to the convincing power, and t should be borne in mind that Members of Congress are to he elected as well as President and Vice President. The award will be made and check forwarded to successful! contestant about August 15th. Manuscripts must be mailed not later than July 15th to Literary Bureau, Republican CougressiooalCommlttee, Metropolitan Bank Building, Washington, D. C. Terribly Scalded is something we hear or read about every dav of our lives. Burns and hunld either slight or serious are bound to happen in your family, be prepared ly buying a bottle of ISttllard's Hnow Liniment handy. It relieves the pain instantly and quickly heals the burn. Sold by Chas. N. Clarke. WHAT t7i EKI DN KYH DO. Their Unceasing Work Keeps Us Strong and Healthy All the blood in the body passes though the kidneys once every three minutes. The kidneys filter the blood. They work night and day. When healthy they remove about 400 grains of impure matter daily, when unhealthy 'inn part of this impure matter is left in the blood. This brings on many diseases and symptom? pain in the back, headache, nervousness, hot, dry kin, rheumatism, gout, trravel, disor ders of I he eyexiuht and hearing, dizzi nas, irregular heart, rleb lity, diousi ness, dropsv, dej oii in the urine, ect Hut if yon keep th'filiers right you will have no trouble w ith your kidneys W. II. K..!, Hill H'igMs, llod Uivrr, Oregon, yy: 'I Mill' red a great d--al from my kidnevs f'r a long time. . the lieHi being the rt-Milt of acid Which sutlled in these oigniis. The cretioiis were ton frr iii action, both day and night and were attended with H. vere pain. Whenever 1 iiitemp'e 1 1' Moop over, shaip twinges would catch me through 'he loins and cause Mie most intense suffering. 1 felt weak, tired and languid and my eyesight was affected. I was greatly annoyed by diKy spells and nothing seemed to help me unm 1 pruvureu n i'a Kidney Pil! at Clar'-.e's drug itre. I used i hem according to direelion and it wasn t long before I felt like a differ ent man, wit hunt nny -ign of my trouble. Today mk tenenil health is excellent and for that rea-on, I cannot i-pesk to highly in piaise of Doan's Kidm v Pills." Kor sale by all dealer?. Price nftv rrits Foter-niilbnrn Co., Haffa'o Sew York, so'e agents for the United M ates Remember the name DoanV hi d take no other For Kale bv all dealers Trice 80 eta I' ster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, New York, h awn' for the United States. Re Refrigerators Ice Cream Freezers Ice Tongs Oil Stoves Gasoline Stoves Fireless Cookers Hammocks Tents Camp chairs Camp stoves Lawn mowers Lawn trimmers Grass Cutters Garden hose Sprinklers Screen doors Window screens Porch seats Porch chairs Swinging seats Mason jars Economy jars Jelly Glasses Stewart Hardware & Furniture Co. L Ria'inf the IWth Sa urt. 1 shall never forget the first bl wave I caught out there In the deep water. I aaw It coming, turned my back n It and paddled for dear Ufa. faster and faster my board went un til It seemed my arms would drop off. What was happening behind ma I could not tell. One cannot look be hind and paddle the windmill stroka I heard the crest of the ware hissing and churning, aud then my board waa lifted and flung forward. I scarcely knew what hapned the first half minute. Though I kept my eyes open, I could not see anything, for I was burled In the rushing white of the crest But I did not mind. I was chicly conscious of ecstatic bliss at having cangbt the wave. At the end of the half minute, however, I began to see things and to breathe. I saw that three feet of the nose of my board was clear out of water and riding on the air. I shifted my weight forward and made the nose come down. Thp I lay, quite at rest In the midst of the wild movement, and watched the ahora and the bathers on the beach grow distinct. I didn't cover quit a quar ter of a mile on that ware, because to prevent the board from diving I shift ed my weight back, but shifted It too far and fell down the rear slope of the wave." - Jack London In Woman's Home Companion. WILL BB MADK BY TUG O. 23. d5 1T. THIS SEASON AS FOLLOWS: ROUND TRIP TO DIRKCT Chicago $72.50 St. Louis 67.50 St. Paul 63.15 Omaha 60.00 Kansas City 60.00 TICKETS WILL BE ON SaLE June 5, 6, 19, 20 July 6, 7, 22, 23 August 6, 7, 21, 22 Good for return In 90 days with stopover privileges at pleasure within limits. DON'T FORGET the DATES For any further Information oil on J: H. FREDRICY, Local Agent, Or writ to Wm. McMURRAY, General Panseniter gent, PORTLAND, OREGON. WJ.Baker&Co. Dealers in REAL ESTATE Fruit and Farm Lands Resident Agents For Phoenix Assurance Co. OF LONDON The Square Deal mm V If you want a in and I have in stock peg tooth harrows with orchard guards. Extension Disc Harrows, Weeders and Cul tivators, Wagons and Buggies.Spray Pumps, Exten sionRoad Hose and Noozles, House Paints, Building Paper and Rubberoid Roofing. Agent for Avenarious Carbelonium. Full line of groceries, flour and feed. D. M Home Phone 174 Phone 491 Wood & Smith Bros. HOTEL GERLINGER P. HKMIXGSKX, Prop. OPEN DAV AND NIGHT. ALL TRAINS STOP IN FRONT OF THE HOTEL THE DALLES, ORE. J. . NICHOLS UNDERTAKER and All calls promptly attended, EMBALMING Nlchol Bldg., Cor. Oak and 5lh BU. HOO! KIVKR, OUKIION .Mount Hood Store... W. S. GRIBBLE, Proprietor. Dry Goods Ammunition Boots and Shoes Hardware Graniteware Hay Grain Flour Fetid Full line of Groceries JACKSON & JACKSON, Dealer in General Merchandise Fancy Groceries Flour and Feed and Lumbermen's Supplies, Free Delivery. Home Phone HOOD RIVER, OR. NICHOL PHARMACY DR. W. S. Nichol, Prop. We handle drtiKS and everything in the drug line, except booze. We want It distinctly understood that Nichol'B Pharmacy does not sell liquor of any kind, and that we strictly adhere to this policy. We have been bothered quite a little, since opening our drug store, with those who wanted alcohol or some other spiritous liquor, therefore we take this op portunity of notifying the people of Hood Itiver and vicinity of our policy in this respect. We are told we cannot Hiicced if we stick to our inten tions in this matter and our reply is, we will sink or swim on this policy. We have a complete stock of paints, toys, patent medicines, brtiBhes, per fumes, gasoline, candy, cigars and soft drinks and will do our best to please you. Try us. " Is the place to get your - ' f I I L- implements MOWER or a RAKE come make your selection. cDONAL Third St. and Cascade Our Groceries Will build yon up! Their abeo ate pirity t-uarruntcrs their wlolesouinen Wi- cater to a clans of customer who vunt things riht and appreciate our efforts '.ocatiefy in ail particulars. Canned Goods In Krvat variety and all of a superior quality. Our prices will interest you Free Delivery Cor. 1st and Union Sts. FUNERAL DIRECTOR night or day, city or country A SPECIALTY PHONKsj"1 HoMK-Oftii'e SfH: Residence 36 fic-offlof &13; Kea. .till Ave., HoodRiver, Oregon Store II KB life s SELZ "THE SOLE Royal Iilue for men at.. Royal Rlue for ladies at. At CarmichaeFs ON THE HILL. r "Homephoneit" Don't get on the waiting list for the new Home Telephone. A per fect nerve tonic. Everybody de lighted with the modern, up-to-date service. Do not delay. Ask your neighbor to let you call up "0" and place your order. Home Telephone Co. TRANSFER & LIVERY CO. AGENTS FOR THE REGULATOR LINE OF STEAMERS. Hauling, Draying, Laggage Transferred, First Class Livery Turnouts Always Heady. Phone 131 . Stoves, Heaters and Ranges au Kinds, New and Secona-hand. Big Stock of New and Src ond-hand Furniture, Carpets. Arl Squares, Rugs Chairs, Rockers, Etc. Agent For CHARTER OAK Stoves and Ranges 0. P. DABNEY & CO. THE CONSERVATIVE BANKER in making loans must know to a certainty that his applicants or sureties are responsible and worthy of credit. Likewise, the prudent depositor should know the character and the standing of the bank with which he deals. The business reputation of our directors and the experience and ability of our officers w ith a record of many years of successful business is sufficient guarantee that the interests of every depositor will be carefully protected. The Butler Banking Company Hood River, Oregon HOOD RIVER ABSTRACT CO. J. M. BOIMKI.TZKK, 8KCRKTARY ' ABSTRACTS, CONVEYANCING and INSURANCE Royal Exchange, Glens Falls, Union Assurance, Western Assurance, National Livestock and Oregon Life Insurance Wr li;ivc tlic onlv ("iniplete t ct of AbMittct llka in Hood River and are in i .1 -i 1 1 'ii t t'xccntt' hiiv work in our line w tli promptness and accuracy K.i ri.ih hid id in pcniuiiiotit II-ne rimne2:n. Buy Your Fruit Boxes AT THE Hood River Box Factory and Patronize Home Industry. Best Quality Lowest Price home Made Phone Mm n 71 SHOES i OP i ONOR." ... 3.25, $3.50, $4.00 ' 2.00, $2.50, $2.75 t)iitirlf r in Davidson Building HOOD RIVER, ORE. 1 In mlier the name Doan's and take no other. 1